The last time I wrote about Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP Collection, a lot of you seemed to enjoy it. So here we go again! As some of you already know, Gwyneth launched a site redesign to Goop several weeks ago. I didn’t like the redesign at all – there really isn’t all that much to GOOP, but the redesign’s main purpose seemed to be “trying to make Goop look like a major site with a lot to offer.” Part of the redesign was Gwyneth’s new “Goop Collection” – some products made specifically to be sold ON Goop. Gwyneth’s first offerings were a $200 pair of jeans, a $90 t-shirt (white, with black piping), neither of which you can buy in a size larger than 8. Last week, Goop introduced “Melissa Odabash for Goop” bikinis – in black and “nautical stripe” at a cost of $185 (for a bikini set – you can’t buy separate pieces). Once again, the largest size offered is “46” – which is ??? in American sizing. I tried looking it up, but there seems to be something weird going on with European sizing for swimsuits. Considering they’re only available in America, you’d think Goop would do American sizing, right?
Anyway, Goop’s latest offering is surprisingly NOT clothing. She’s offering an “Exclusively for goop – Limited Edition laser etched acrylic tray, by Alexandra Von Furstenberg for goop”. In case you couldn’t figure that out from all of the fancy exclusivity (you dumb peasant), Goop is offering a $270 acrylic tray. It’s fancy because it’s hot pink and it has an X. SO GOOPY.
Alexandra von Furstenberg has made this special laser etched acrylic tray especially for goop. The “X Marks the Spot” design has a special luminosity that bounces right off the fluorescent pink surface. Use it as a vanity tray for perfume and cosmetics, take it to the office for an elegant display, or to the living room as a centerpiece; it makes a statement in any room. Only available in the US.
Goop, please. It’s an acrylic tray that you could find at TJ Maxx. I like how Gwyneth has to explain her fancy products to peasants. Because we’re so dumb (and fat!), so we won’t understand the concept of a “tray” – even one with “a special luminosity”. My absolute favorite part, though, is Gwyneth once again “models” the product. She included this photo arrangement (below) as she “uses” her special, goopy, luminous tray. It’s just sitting there! She didn’t even pretend to use it for her special Goop documents. And is that Goop’s office? What is she doing in the photo? Handwriting her Goop journal? I want Gwyneth to offer more products just because I love how she “models” them. Except for the bikinis – because Gwyneth is simply too special to model bikinis. Gwyneth finds bikini-modeling to be a very peasanty form of promotion.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, GOOP.
Its pretty but not that pretty!! How about you buy it for me Gwennie:-)
+1. Nice but not $270 nice. Maybe $15 🙂
I have an invisible cloak I designed for goop that I’m willing to sell for two hundred.
I can’t even hate on her anymore man, obviously some idiots are buying this $hit. Anything to be pretentious, I guess.
Yes and Yes.
Tacky. Whenever Goop is involved the answer is always tacky by default.
I blame Martha Stewart for this.
Martha Wanna-Be.
and for me Goop used to be one of the cool girls.
+1
ah hahahaha, Goop is so clueless it hilarious. I can tell you I entertain family and close friends only so if they found out I spent that much money on a tray, they’re liable to hit me with it..
however, if I when the lottery then I shall do everything Gwynnie tells me and then write about my experiences in “Goop and Duped”..
“Goop and Duped”…LOL.
This woman makes herself soooooo easy a target.
and speaking of Target, that’s where it belongs, on red tag special $4
Oh man, this made me crack up. Goop is now trying to help us poor peasants decorate our homes better too. If I even had a need for a tray (which I don’t, sadly, although I have a nice tea set for company), I wouldn’t buy that. I prefer repurposing mirrors and old frames as trays anyways.
Totally what I was thinking. Repurposing is 100% better, and for a tray could be more than 90% cheaper.
I have an old mirror that I found in the back of a road side store. My boyfriend added some molding around it and now it is on my dresser to hold all my girly things.
the cost total= $4 + $10 (molding) and $14 dollar tray/vanity tray.
OK Goop now you top that one.
Awesome idea! Might steal it :).
oh god she is so irritating. Iron Man 3 is being filmed where I live so Goop is everywhere… why can’t you leave already Goop?!
Ugh why must she taint one of my favorite movies. I send you my pity for having to see her everywhere.
Someone – either Goopster herself or the Goop site writer – is obsessed with commas. They need to discover a semicolon or two.
Who the heck pays almost $300 for a tray. I’m sure if I went to the dollar store right now I could find a nice one for $2.
Well sure but it wouldn’t have the golden kiss ($268 dollars worth) of Gwyneth’s goopy endorsement.
Exhibit A on why Hollywood nepotism should be disallowed.
Not trying to be a jerk, but if you got it at the Dollar Store, wouldn’t it be one dollar? 🙂
And don’t get me wrong….I kinda love the Dollar Store!
Right! Which leaves you $268 to spend on booze and nail polish!
(At TMOT HQ, we call this concept “sweaternomics”- you bought that $200 cashmere sweater for only $50, so now you can take the $150 you “saved” and blow it on shoes. )
But would it have that “special luminosity” that we all desire in our trays? (;
dare we, the peasants, even desire “luminosity”?
$270? That tray better do more than just sit there. It better charge my phone, babysit my little cousin, and turn into a blue ray dvd player on command.
LOL 😀
Alexandra hand lasered that acrylic, eh? That is a plastic that is a Group 7 recyclable — which means it’s almost impossible. It’s also not biodegradable. I was just watching Shakespeare in Love the other day… I wish she’d eff off back to period pieces 🙂
Wow, very cool that you caught that! I actually glazed over the word “acrylic” with all the exciting exclusivity jargon. And the fact that you knew it “physic”aly impossible is impressive. You go!
Ohhhh, perfect!!! I have been searching high and low for a tray to keep all my goop in. Finally!
LOL!!! This article and all the comments are just hilarious!
Is she hurting for cash?? I don’t understand why she’s now trying to sell stuff. Tacky.
I bought one at dollar general for 3 bucks.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*catches breath*
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Seriously, who (with a lot of chump change – not us schmucks) decorates their home with a PLASTIC tray?!?!?! How tacky.
And who in their right mind would want to?
First of all, it’s almost fluorescent; secondly, it looks tacky as all hell; thirdly, IT’S ACRYLIC (even acrylic nails can look tacky); and lastly, the Goopster endorsement is the kiss of death to me.
No thanks. I’ll stick with Cost Plus World Market or Pier 1.
She always looks like she’s about to pass out.
Maybe because she hasn’t eaten a decent meal in years lol
I’d buy it if I could smack her in her smug little face with it.
+1 😀
OMG, I would totally give you $270 just to watch you do that!
I will give Martha Stewart credit, at least her stuff is fairly affordable for most of the population. Goop wants people to fork over a car payment for a plastic tray.
It has the name and “for Goop” etched in the side! Ridiculous. I guess that’s so you can tell it apart from the cheap trays you can find elsewhere?
In case anyone is interested (LOL) AVF is selling a bunch of these trays in the same price range! You could have a whole collection, but if you want the one with the big X (so you can hold it up in judgement when a peasant says something gauche) you have to get it from Goop.
What stupid idiotic people would ever buy any of her generic bland stuff?
Oh Goop. I love her and can relate to her struggles. She’s my muse. My bitchy, anorexic, out of touch, mildly racist muse.
Don’t let the haters get you down Goop !!! They’re mad because thay can’t master the art of being as removed from reality as you are. Like me, you’re just misunderstood. You give so much to the community. First a $90 shirt, then the $200 jeans and now this. You’re an amazing woman.
I can really relate to Goop. There are few things I enjoy more than sitting down with a lovely, fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free, soy-free, vegan, fairtrade, organic acai berry, ginger root and Dulcolax tea, freshly pressed by my live-in servants and having one of my IT people crack open a fresh iPad so I can read through the latest Goop e-newsletter. I’m SO happy that she released another reasonably priced and ever-so innovative item. Her creativity knows no bounds.
Why so much hate when all she’s trying to do is help you poor peasants decorate your homes ??? I’m buying 2 and a half.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!
Crystal, thanks for making me smile today!
That’s pretty good!
After your marketing outburst I may buy two and a half trays myself!
Thanks for the laugh!
Laughed my ass of at this- on the bus. Getting funny looks now!
….Hilarious and so right on the nose about her. How Chris Martin ever impregnated this moron is incredible to me.
Heres a thing: everyone should email complaints to her company for shilling a product that is awful for the environment. Plastic trays? Really?? Its bad enough shes rich as Midas and still feels the greedy need to shill, shill, shill. Disgusting and tacky.
I respect Jessica Alba more with her little organic company that is actually, you know, really organic and chemical free.
Goop…the colonic loving, vegan, gluten free Acrylic lover?? Doesnt make sense maybe because shes only in all of this for the money. Youd think she has plenty already.
I just can’t with this pretentious bitch. She’s so horrible it makes me want to cry.
Is any of this going to charity? It seems terribly tacky if she’s keeping all the profits without donating anything.
This made me LOL: It’s fancy because it’s hot pink and it has an X. SO GOOPY.
HAHAHAH!! This stupid bitch needs to have a cheeseburger and/or get laid. Blech
Ya’ll need to quit hatin on The Duchess of GOOP!!!
I think I’ll buy this cute pink tray and her GOOP cleanse kit. That way I can sit on the loo and place the tray across my lap, you know, so I can journal all about the texture of my expensive BMs.
Thank you so much Gwyneth for making the hum-drum aspects of my life replete with dignity!
Swimsuit sizing. For UK sizing, just subtract 2 from the UK size to get the US size (UK 8 = US 6)
Italian 46 = US 12
French 46 = US 16
German 46 = US 18
No, a UK8 = US4
so diane von furstenberg’s daughter is a ‘designer’ … i wonder if her mother has one in each kitchen of her various homes…
what annoying people.
What, a daughter?
😉
Alexandra is Diane von Füstenberg former daughter in law and she is Marie Chantal Miller’s (aka Princess Marie Chantal of Greece) sister, and because her sister is tight with Gwyneth, her stuff is featured in Goop.
thanks for the correction… tatiana is the daughter.. alexander, the son.
Not even daughter-in-law anymore! She and Diane’s son divorced about 10 years ago!
Once an A list, always an A list
This tray looks like it was inspired by myspace.
Do people actually take her advice or buy her products? Are these the same people that walked over the hot coals at the tony robbins seminar?!
She represents NO ONE.
I still love ya G.
That tray better come with Ms Furstenberg serving me icecream and cookies.
She really likes that necklace, I mean she’s worn it at least twice. How quaint. I immediately throw out everything I wear after I’ve worn it, ESPECIALLY if I’ve been photographed in it.
Faye, dahling, you should really burn it or have it melted down. Wouldn’t want a peasant to be seen wearing your stuff! 😉
It’s because Goop it’s like one of us, she is suffering this economic, that’s her way to show us her simpathy.
good eye about the necklace
gwenyth paltrow = insufferable.
its a nice enough tray, but for $270!?! seriously? just how out of touch is this woman? what planet does she live on? planet caviar?
Tacky? Maybe.
Cute? No.
Mercenary? Big fat YES.
I actually really like the tray. It would look cute in my daughter’s room. But for $270. . . . .I’d pay $50 tops.
Ooh are those hydrangeas on the mantle? No wonder she and Madge fell out.
Oooh nice catch Jammu! S.N.A. to the P!!
Diane has a son named Alexander Von Furstenberg, prince Egon’s son, , can her daughter Marie Chantal Miller use legally the Von Furstenberg name?
Very strange. I’d like to know what Ira think about this.
I think I would purchase an object of plexiglass for $ 12 at most.
I see, she is Alexandra Natasha, the wife of Alexander Von Furstenberg.
this looks like the X Factor logo, no?
I knew this was going to be incredibly annoying, yet I clicked on the link anyways. Apparently I need to punish myself for something. …The pink neon. I really don’t need to experience that color ever again. Once, in 6th grade, I had neon pink jelly shoes. I never wore them. Please, fashion world, don’t do the neon thing again. The man at my local coffee shop who alternates between neon green outfit and neon pink outfit while parking his neon bike outside is enough neon for me to deal with in this world. Thank you.
Leave her alone! She must pay the bills since you don’t want to watch her movies.
Do Goop and hubby really need money badly enough to sell plastic trays? In what universe is this hobby website anything but a marriage of the pretensious and tacky? Ooh, kind of like them.
i cannot stop laughing at this tray.
Goop is so random! First a white t-shirt and jeans, then a bikini, and now… a plastic tray? It’s not even part of a household items set or anything. It’s just a tray on it’s own, for $270! She really is becoming the most wtf person ever. And the worst part is – someone will probably buy this.
I mean serious about the jeans and shirt! A white shirt with black piping for $90. Dont these people know society is about to take a dive off a fiscal cliff? Yes, we are about to go over and testing out limits. This has been in the making since 2000 and came to a head in 2008. It isn’t over. We are deep sh—and these people are peddling $90 white tee shirts? Cmon now.
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a superb article?but what can I say?I procrastinate a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.
You’d need a heck of a big ego to market your own “lifestyle”