Details of Arnold’s divorce: he refused counseling, made Maria move out


The Daily Beast has a new profile of Arnold Schwarzenegger in light of his upcoming autobiography, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story (GMAB), out October 1st. Apparently the book will cover his affair with the family maid, Mildred Beana, who had his illegitimate kid and went on working for Ahnold’s family for another thirteen years – until Maria got wise to the resemblance between Mildred’s kid and Arnold. The fact that Arnold is going to cover this subject is of course potentially painful for his estranged wife, Maria Shriver, and their kids. Arnold doesn’t care, though, he’s acting like he doesn’t need Maria at all. In Arnold’s mind, he’s still the womanizing, bodybuilding superstar he was in his heyday. This piece fills in some blanks for me about Arnold and Maria’s relationship, and what happened after the whole paternity scandal came out in May, 2011.

According to the Daily Beast’s Laurence Leamer, Maria wanted to reconcile and was willing to forgive Arnold, but he refused to go to more than one session of counseling and he refused to move out of the family mansion, which led her to check into a hotel. Leamer paints Schwarzenegger as a stubborn, foolish ass. It sounds pretty likely to me, and it does jibe with a lot of reports we heard at the time. Leamer also quotes from Mildred Beana’s single interview, with Hello! Magazine, in which described how she broke down crying and begged for forgiveness when Maria asked her point blank if her son was Arnold’s. So Maria is the one who figured it out, and someone in her camp leaked it to the press. Then she was willing to work things out with Arnold, but he wasn’t and seems not to care.

Here’s part of the story:

As Arnold and Maria sorted through the wreckage, the next few months proved a study of two people of very different character. Family members and friends say Maria told them that despite Arnold’s betrayal, she loved her husband still and she believed in marriage. Maria was a Kennedy, and she was a Shriver, brought up never to bring shame to the family. Beyond that, she was a shrewd political woman. Like Hillary Clinton at the time of Monica Lewinsky, Maria was willing to consider standing by Arnold’s side. But she needed time and space to figure out what she could do. She needed quiet, too, and beyond anything she needed this matter to stay private.

Arnold is a very different kind of person. Anything that posed emotional pain or difficulty, he was out of there. He could not understand why Maria could not just forgive and get on with things, and when Maria said she needed a trial separation and told Arnold to move out, family and friends say that he refused. It was his house, and he wasn’t budging.

Maria could not stay with her estranged husband. The California-style mansion had the scent of the affair in every bed and sofa, and wherever Maria looked she saw pictures and memorabilia of her husband. And so she moved into a hotel, where her children came to visit her. She had lost her mother and father within a year, and now she had lost her marriage.

In early May 2011, the couple gave a joint statement to the Los Angeles Times announcing that after 25 years, they had separated. They thought the details of why they were contemplating a divorce were between them, but a week and a half later, the Times ran the story that the couple had “separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago with a longtime member of their household staff.” Schwarzenegger has told his advisers that he blames Shriver’s four brothers for having leaked the story to shame their sister into leaving him for good. But the brothers adamantly deny having anything to do with the story. They say they did not try to talk their sister into divorcing Arnold, but only gave her support so that she could decide what to do. When Arnold refused to continue with therapy after the one session, Maria decided she had no choice but to ask for a divorce, people close to the couple say. “If he had character, he would have done what had to be done,” says a family member. “He would have gone to therapy and truly faced what he had done. He probably would have gotten Maria back if he had done that stuff. She truly loved him. She was looking for a basis to go back, but he was incapable of giving it to her.” Their divorce is still being finalized.

Ever the philosopher, Schwarzenegger told his next-door neighbor in Sun Valley, “I think things will work out OK with Maria, but if they don’t, I’m getting me a 20-year-old honey,” according to one of Arnold’s friends.

Schwarzenegger does not seem to realize all that he has lost. He no longer has the wife who brought him to a world beyond the furthest parameters of Hollywood. Everyone who knows Arnold well says that the purest feeling in his life is his love for his children, yet he does not have the affection of his children in the same way he did before. His son Patrick has started calling himself “Patrick Shriver” on his Twitter account. His two daughters, say family members and friends, fear that he wants to use them as part of his campaign to rehabilitate his image. He still tries to protect them, and when 60 Minutes wanted to interview them, according to those close to him, he said no. And yet, I am told by family members, the children remain suspicious of their father’s motives.

In earlier years, Schwarzenegger would have had pals with whom he could discuss his life, but he has turned away from several longtime friends and seems to have no one in whom he can truly confide. He has a movie star’s entourage, but they are not friends. One Saturday night a few weeks ago, Arnold was spotted bicycling by himself through the darkening streets of Santa Monica.

“Arnold’s always been alone,” says a longtime friend who no longer sees him. “It’s just that it’s more obvious, and maybe now even he recognizes something of his fate.”

[From The Daily Beast]

I’m not really buying this story that Arnold doesn’t have any friends left. I think this is more Maria’s take on his life than reality, but it could be true.

Arnold is going to be on 60 minutes on September 30th as part of his book promotion. I wonder how he’s going to handle questions about this affair, but more than how he’ll talk about what happened with his marriage to Maria. I have the sense he’ll play lip service to he feels bad but that he’s not really feeling it. At least he owned up to having a kid with the help back when we first heard about it.

Arnold is shown at the End of Watch premiere last night. He’s also shown driving his big old ridiculous truck in LA on Saturday. He drove that thing just to go to lunch with his sons. Credit: WENN.com. Maria is shown out at a Springsteen concert with her son on 4-27-12. Credit: Visual/WENN.com

 

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88 Responses to “Details of Arnold’s divorce: he refused counseling, made Maria move out”

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  1. fabgrrl says:

    Everyone who knows Arnold well says that the purest feeling in his life is his love for his children.

    Well, his LEGITIMATE children, maybe. He doesn’t seem to have the same regard for the housekeeper’s child.

    • apsutter says:

      I thought that he took care of that kid and the maid and they spent a lot of time with maria, arnold, and their kids? I’m not sure but I think I remember reading that Maria’s suspiscion built because they were always around and he looked similar.

  2. nina says:

    he’s such a dick.

    And I”m sure he has hangers-on, but I could see him not having many friends at this point. His political careers over and he’s too old to get back into movies, so his stock’s down.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      He is absolutely such a dick! And I can also see him having hangers-on, not friends, and not just because of his fading career.

      When my ex cheated on me (after a YEAR of marriage counseling together), he lost most of his friends. They were either mutual friends of ours, who knew me and knew the truth; or they were friends of his, who couldn’t believe his stupidity at throwing what he had away. (Their words, not mine.)

  3. spinner says:

    Arnold is starting to resemble Mickey Rourke in that top pic. He needs to stop…with a whole lotta things.

  4. lucy2 says:

    If that’s truly how he feels, that there’s no value in his marriage and family, then I pity him. At first I felt bad for Maria and all the kids involved, but really, he’s the one who’s missing out.

  5. LadyJane says:

    Maria Shriver is so pretty. He looks like an organge-haired orangutan

  6. lizzi says:

    “I think things will work out OK with Maria, but if they don’t, I’m getting me a 20-year-old honey,”

    I really can’t picture him saying this, but when I do, it’s hysterical.

  7. Jayna says:

    Arnold has plenty of friends left. The marriage ended because Maria stopped being a doormat. Men of Arnold’s age and background aren’t comfortable with emotion. No way he was going to bear his soul in therapy. The children are all almost grown. They don’t have much to hold them together anymore. I think her fifties hit her hard. Way before the maid thing she seemed lost and depressed in interviews or that video thing she did. She kind of gave up her journalism career when he became governor.

  8. Jaded says:

    He’s a misogynistic, arrogant, immoral prick who seems to think that by virtue of his physical prowess he can get away with anything. I can’t for the life of me understand why she ever married him unless it’s some weird characteristic that Kennedy women have that draws them to men who treat them badly.

  9. Eleonor says:

    Totally out of context, but I remember there were rumors abou Swifty trying to have dates with Arnold’s son. Maria Schneider isn’t a Kennedy related?? Creepy.

  10. sassy says:

    I know how Maria feels. My now ex has fathered a child during his affair. No way I can take him back though! I am moving on.

    • Erinn says:

      Good for you sassy!

      Listening to the radio today, that stupid Usher song came on. Confessions. Grabbed this gem from a lyric site: “I’m having a baby by a woman that I barely even know / I hope you can accept the fact that I’m man enough to tell you this / And hopefully you’ll give me another chance”

      It’s hard enough to work on forgiving a cheater… it’s another when there’s a child involved. Stay strong girl!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Stay strong, sassy! Within two weeks of my moving out (with our kids & cat), he’d moved his side-piece into our condo.

      In November (we’d moved out beginning of August) around our anniversary, while he was having his friends call me to see if I was open to reconciliation (wuss!), he was busy impregnated her.

      By August of the following year, he’d had a son with her (right around our oldest’s birthday) and even replaced our CAT!

      I told him “Too bad you didn’t have twins. You could have replaced the entire family within a year in one fell swoop!”

    • Hakura says:

      @Sassy – I’m with the others, you’ve got the full support of Celebitchy’s ladies behind you. It takes strength to do what’s right for you, & it’s admirable that you’re able to do it.

      @TO Bellaluna – It’s hard to believe that SO many people have experienced a husband cheating & selfishly ruining everything. Since when does ‘marriage’ not mean anything? It’s so depressing that it’s so common.

      I could never forgive a cheater. We all deserve better, damn-it.

  11. Joy says:

    Maria Shriver has a great head of hair.

    • muffin says:

      that’s about it, though.

      also – any hair will look “great” on a skeleton.

    • hoya_chick says:

      She does doesn’t she? Very full and shiny! I met her in 2009 when she came to tour my campus. I think one of her daughters was thinking about attending. She was so gorgeous and striking! Pictures and television do her no justice! I think she should go back to her journalism roots and find some distinguished businessman around he own age who will treat her right. I always wondered what her and Arnold had in come that lead to marriage and multiple children. They seem so opposite. I hope she finds happiness and peace. He is a d-bag and a tool.

  12. ddl2002 says:

    Honestly, I just feel bad for Maria for having spent her life with this a**hole. But she’s obviously known about what he is for decades and turned a blind eye. It’s just a sick situation all around.

  13. MommaK18 says:

    I think he is a total tool bag. I mean, he slept with their longtime house keeper who was like family…anf she continued working for another decade.

    He faced his mistake weekly (if not daily) and still didnt tell his wife! He is disturbing looking and gross…
    Any 20 year old ‘honey’ he gets will be after his money and not his nasty body and wondering pe*n.

    My cousin ‘met’ him in LA last year and she said he was a big jerk and creeped her out…not to mention, very short.

  14. Stubbylove says:

    Arnold’s like Honey Badger – he just don’t give a shit.

  15. Blondie says:

    Arnold is an idiot. I don’t think he’s capable of any emotion. He had a beautiful, intelligent wife, and he threw it all away. He will never know what he is missing, he just isn’t capable. Maria is so much better off without him.

    • Djinn says:

      A beautiful intelligent wife who didn’t seem bothered by years of infidelity not to mention numerous sexual assault and harassment accusations. There was a tonne of evidence he was a misogynist shit head a long long time before his in house affair was exposed. I have difficulty feeling sympathy for women who willingly look the other way for so long.

  16. Violet says:

    Arnold is a complete and utter ass. And I’m incredibly disappointed in Maria, but the Kennedy men are known cheaters so I guess that’s what she grew up thinking was normal.

    I get the sense that Arnie never saw Maria as more than a means to an end; she had the family connections to further his political aspirations, and was willing to put her own career on the backburner to further his.

    Maria had everything going for her — intelligence, looks, schooling, money — yet she ended up wasting her entire adult life with this egomaniac. From the sounds of it, she’d still be with him if he hadn’t made it impossible.

    He actually did her a favor. I hope she realizes and appreciates it one of these days, and finds someone worthy to share her life with.

  17. Dahlia1947 says:

    She’s better off without his dumb ass then. Move on girl!

  18. Daisy says:

    Maria looks happy in the pictures so life has no doubt taken on a sense of freedom for her, especially after being with such a power-tripping man who obviously couldn’t be trusted. They were a good-looking couple in their youth. I’m sure Arnold has his regrets, though he hides it well. The TV interview will be interesting. Maybe he will say something meaningful to try and get his wife back!

  19. Lindsey says:

    Anytime a man buys a car that huge just to drive around to lunch, I assume that his penis size is disproprotiantely small.

    Therefore, his pecker is tiny.

  20. KellyinSeattle says:

    Ah-nold will never change.

  21. mk says:

    What a sad man. I’m happy that Maria has a second chance at a better more fulfilling life.

  22. Palefire says:

    Ewww he’s so gross looking. His car is so frigging ridiculous. I can’t imagine his massive distorted ego. Why would anyone ever want to be with him he literally looks like he’s incapable of loving anything except himself. His ex wife was wayyyy to classy for him. Move on and up hunny.

  23. RTR_Girl says:

    Arnold disgusts me, but I am laughing at the line about Maria being a Kennedy/Shriver, raised to never bring shame to her family. Please. The Kennedy clan practically sets the standard for atrocious behavior. Bootlegging, killing Mary Jo Kopechne, adultery, rape, banging the babysitter…c’mon, Maria would have to work pretty hard to compete against the sleazebags that are/were her grandfather, uncles, cousins, etc. Thankfully, Maria does seem to have some class and dignity, and I can’t imagine why she fell for Arnold in the first place.

  24. pinchofsalt says:

    Wow, truth is stranger than fiction. What a mess this is.

  25. Eileen says:

    For context he started as a bodybuilder/ fitness guru turned actor and met Maria Shriver did phenomenally well,became even more rich and famous and then became governor of California. His achievements required a heck of a lot of intelligence, savvy and major ego. I am in no way defending or justifying his actions in any way but he was a huge star and his former wife is very accomplished in her own right. I think the truck is insane but that’s his image he is still pushing. Sure hope the children are doing well and I wish Mayia peace and happiness.

  26. Missanne says:

    Men who drive vehicles like that are usually douche bags. Just my opinion.

  27. Jess says:

    I thought they worked it out and stayed together?

  28. Tanya says:

    gosh she has GREAT hair..however HE, needs to step away from the hair dye…and cover those ‘moobs’, with a heavier t-shirt…. (man boobs)…hormones are such a bitch! :-)

  29. HannahF says:

    Arnold’s true colors showed when as Governor he significantly shortened the jail time for the son of a political crony. Why was the son in prison? Murder. And Arnold could not even claim the kid had an unfair trial because the kid pleaded guilty!!

  30. Mia says:

    Maria Shriver’s hair is from the Kate middleton school of curls.

  31. Andrea says:

    Anyone who feels the need to drive a car like that who is NOT involved in combat is a class A asshole. That is all. :)

  32. madpoe says:

    lol look at that douchebag machine he’s driving!

  33. jc126 says:

    Yes, he lost a lot. However – I believe it’s really for the best ultimately for Maria to move on. It’s not good to eat crap (metaphorically), and not every marriage should be saved.

  34. Joey says:

    When did he turn orange? He looks like a giant Oompa Loompa.

  35. Migdalia says:

    Haha he wasn’t biking by himself in the darkened streets…one of my clients actually instagramed him and he was with a friend. I love the media ;-p

  36. Aubra says:

    I can’t for the life of me understand why she ever married him

    …C’mon, you know the Kennedys are all about charity work!

  37. aamberwaves says:

    He looks like Maria’s GrandFATHER!

  38. skinanny says:

    He is a disgusting, has been! with a bad facelift. She was the classiest person in his life.

  39. Talie says:

    I hate to say it, but of course some 20-something twit will be all over his situation. Someone now dumb enough to talk and, you know, express themselves.

  40. Mrs. Ari Gold says:

    He is such a lowlife and always has been. No amount of money or power will ever change that he is just a no-good piece of dirt that crawled out of a poor Austrian family to come here and social climb.

  41. Lem says:

    I believe Arnold has been a tool from day one. Maria had always chosen to accept that for whatever her reasons. His womanizing hasn’t been news since before I was born (and I’m getting old)

    He did as excellent job of parking that Merc beast. I’m impressed by that.

  42. Matt says:

    Anybody who saw “Pumping Iron” remembers that Arnold didn’t even attend the funeral of his own father, despite the desperate pleading of his mother, in order to compete in his 5th Mr. Universe competition. He had already won the previous 4th. That should tell you everything about where Arnold’s priorities lie.

  43. mln89 says:

    he is such a pig. if i was maria, i would have figured out (legal) ways to make him suffer if he had the balls to stay in that house, after it came out that he cheated and fathered a child with our maid. why did she even want this piece of sh!t back?