Josh addresses the cheating at 2:00
Fergie’s “Oprah’s Next Chapter” interview aired last night. I’m not going to front like I watched it at all, I didn’t, I’m just going on the clips and quotes posted online. We previously saw a preview clip in which Fergie addressed the “rumors” that Josh Duhamel cheated on her in 2009, nine months into their marriage, with a stripper he picked up in Atlanta while filming there. The story was pretty much confirmed by multiple outlets, and the stripper went on the record with some sordid details. Josh’s response at the time was to admit being in the strip club that night, but he dismissed the woman’s claims as “ridiculous.”
Fergie didn’t deny to Oprah that Josh cheated, she just very carefully worded her statement to neither confirm nor deny that story, while explaining how they overcame that period in their marriage. She told Oprah that they went to therapy together and that those “difficult times” made them “stronger as a unit, as a partnership… Our love today is a deeper love.” It looked to me like Fergie was kind of acknowledging that Josh cheated, while not directly saying it.
Well now we know how Josh addressed it. (That video is above.) He kind of talked around it, which I don’t blame him because he was at a family dinner with Fergie while talking to Oprah. It was uncomfortable to see. He said that he’s glad that incident happened because “it put me in check and made me realize what kind of man I wanted to be… As much anger as I carried about it before, I’m actually happy that it did happen. It made me straighten my ass out.” At no point did he deny cheating at all, which honestly surprised me. Here’s more, thanks to ET Online:
Nine months after Fergie and Josh Duhamel tied the knot on January 10, 2009, rumors hit the tabloids alleging that Duhamel had a one-night stand with a stripper. Today, the couple explained how that rocky period strengthened their marriage on Oprah’s Next Chapter.
“We went to therapy,” Fergie said when asked if the couple ever thought of breaking up. “The whole thing just became a positive for us … Our marriage today — I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
Duhamel expressed similar sentiments later in the interview.“Now, I’m actually happy that all that happened, because we wouldn’t be as strong as we are now,” said Josh, who has admitted to visiting a strip club, but has always denied the cheating claims.
“As much anger as a carried about it before, I’m actually thankful that it did happen, because in a lot of ways it made me straighten my ass out,” the former Las Vegas star continued.
With those dark times behind them, Fergie and Duhamel seem to be looking toward the future which could include kids.“Two is our number. We negotiated that early on,” Fergie said when asked if they wanted a lot of kids. “He told me he wanted five and I said, ‘I’m not going any higher than two.'”
You know, these two were surprisingly honest and open about this. Just reading the quotes, I expected to find Josh full of sh*t, but I didn’t. I got the impression that he wants to change, that he considered himself changed. I was impressed that he didn’t directly deny anything, because I really expected him to. That doesn’t mean I think he’ll be faithful throughout the rest of his marriage, but maybe he’s trying.
That video above also includes the part mentioned by ET where Josh and Fergie say they want two kids, and that they negotiated that number together. Fergie is 37. I wonder if they’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and if they’re having fertility issues. If so, they’re not saying.
Oprah has another clip with Fergie online in which she talks about overcoming her crystal meth addiction. She’s discussed this before. She says that “therapy, soul searching” and “discovering why I took the drugs in the first place” helped her get past that period. She claimed that “feeling inauthentic” in her group Wild Orchid led her to take drugs, but she didn’t know how to break free and “got into a [drug] scene” in which she was addicted for about a year. She also describes her rock bottom (around 2:00 in this linked video) in which she says she was having paranoid hallucinations and had an awakening in a church where she told God she would quit doing drugs. It seemed a little hokey to me, but it sounded like it was real for her.
Photo credit: FameFlynet
He totally cheated. I doubt he’s “happy” all that happened, he’s just happy he’s still got his meal ticket.
MTE
Her face looks SO tweaked in all those photos. And I still think he’s a douchebag for cheating. What an ass.
Jenna, finally watched “Stuart: A Life Backwards” with MAH husband Cumberbatch and your Tom stark-naked Hardy on Saturday.
Very good! Hardy is great in the main role — even better than Cumberbatch in his (who, let’s face it, didn’t have much to do…that was definitely a supporting role — he looked super cute in glasses though).
Now, I’m actually interested in reading the book — such a sad, tragic life.
So glad you watched it!!! It really is a brilliant movie! And Tom, gah…I just wanted to hug him. THE BOOK WAS AMAZING!!! Especially once you’ve seen the movie and have those scenes inside your head. SUCH heartbreak! Almost made me cry in public! lol
If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to watch it again on October 29 (and 30). Ha!
I always watch it online when I get the urge. lol But then again, the damn movie NEVER fails to make me cry at the end. I need to buy the DVD so I can have him at my disposal!!! 😀
It is worth buying.
By the way, have you ever seen a movie called “The Reckoning”? There’s a very young Hardy in it.
I believe so. When I first ‘fell in love’ 😛 I watched all his stuff; even the horrible stuff. Hello, Minotaur. Ugh. SUCH a bad movie.
Really glad you liked it though! And Cumberbatch in his dorky glasses!!! lol
I hate cheaters. It destroys so much. And don’t tell me: Ooh, everyone makes mistakes, it’s human. We can control our behaviour. You can avoid this. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t be married.
What people shouldn’t be doing is getting married to someone who’s genuinely faithful, and then cheating on them!
Cheaters should only marry each other.
Is there a blood test for that? 🙂
You are so right Cazzie. But cheating men are very hypocritical. If you do it to THEM, how dare you? They can do better, you’re a whore, see ya. This is why I get frustrated with women who stay. If you did it to them they wouldn’t be this forgiving.
Things really do sometimes happen. My bf got drunk and slept with his ex. yes, I picked him up that night at the party. He felt guilty and told me years later. I had an emotional affair on him when he grew distant from me(after he cheated on me and I didn’t know it). All of that made us stronger. yes, all of it should have been avoided, but what is done is done.I don’t think everyone should be quick to forgive and I think each experience is very different. i have a friend whose cheated on her husband and he has no clue! She has no intentions of telling him nor seeking out help in their relationship.
@ Birdie Wow, yes, exactly
Cheating isn’t something that “happens” to you like say, Cancer. It is something you choose and obviously have control over. It does destroy people and families and that trust will NEVER be there again. Not for me anyhow
This. I hate when people talk about cheating like it’s inevitable because humans aren’t “monogamous by nature”. Everyone has a choice.
@bns, that really chafes me too and my answer to that is we may not have been designed to be monogamous, but we’ve evolved in such a way that monogamy is possible and preferable (for raising families and population control-where a man isn’t impregnating multiple women simultaneously, for example) Just because most mammals aren’t monogomous, doesnt mean humans shouldn’t be. How we view ourselves as humans has a lot to do with morality; it is partly how we separate ourselves from animals. If cheating is “natural,” then why shouldn’t stealing be seen as natural too? After all, our ancestors stole from others to feed their families. So, how can criminals be blamed for their actions? How can anyone be held responsible or praised for their actions if they are just doing what they are programmed to do? I find it absurd that people think we should be governed by our base desires. We have a prefrontal cortex that helps us suppress impulses like cheating.
Morticians..I am glad you addressed this because I cringe whenever I hear people talk about cheating being a primal, natural and biologically normal thing that occurs, because humans are not designed to be monogamous. Then we might as well justify stealing, murdering and biting because these are all natural impulses that occur.
One of my old co-workers was telling me that I shouldn’t be naive enough not to think that my fiance and now husband would never cheat on me, because he probably will and most men do. Her lame argument was that wanting to poke as many women as possible was a biological impulse and we shouldn’t condone cheaters because it’s a natural thing and it happens in the animal kingdom. Where do people get off on saying this? We know that cheating and lying is morally wrong and we have a choice to avoid making poor decisions, the end.
@hotpockets, you’re totally right. People think they’re being so cerebral when they cite evolutionary biology as the reason behind man’s need to “spread his seed.” Those are the people get a big side-eye from me because they know just enough to perpetuate the BS, but nowhere near enough to understand that we have evolved beyond being governed by our impulses.
I appreciate their honesty even if they didn’t directly confirm or deny anything. It was something personal that happened between them and I’m okay with the talking around it. None of us need to know the details, the evidence of what happened says it all. However, they were still extremely honest and didn’t pull the normal celebrity PR B.S. routine, I can appreciate that and respect them for it. Like I said in the last post, Fergie made the choice to forgive him. It’s a personal decision that many women have had to face. We all should be supportive no matter the decision to stay or go despite our agreement with the choice made.
I think if Josh took responsibility for his actions and learned from this experience that he won’t cheat again. I don’t 100% believe in the “once a cheater always a cheater” adage. I think that if one knows what drove them to cheat they can prevent it in the future. I cheated on my abusive ex several times and I have no desire to cheat on my fiancee. For me it was a respect thing. I didn’t want to be with my ex but he forced me to stay with him so I acted out. The problem is that Josh still strikes me as an Eddie Cibrian in the making.
I totally agree with you about “once a cheater always a cheater” not being necessarily true. But that he does seen a bit like Eddie. I cheated on boyfriends before, it was wrong and I have no desire to cheat on my husband.
I agree. I think fame can confuse people and result in bad judgment. The fact that both of them have these bad situations that they don’t want to return to, will help them support each other.
LeeLoo: Great comment, ITAWY.
Poor Fergie! I don’t think he’ll ever be faithful. Cheating with a stripper so soon after they married is a HUGE red flag.
Also, what the heck does HE have to be angry about?
Yeah…he’s a douche.
I took that as him being angry at himself for cheating.
I took it as him being angry that he got caught and the tabs were calling him out on it.
Just imagine his bachelor party…
I think it’s crazy when people get bent about couples staying together after cheating. MANY people, myself included, have stayed with someone after something like this has happened. 9 out of 10 times it happens again, but that is usually when the wronged party feels lucky that the a-hole let them stay. If the person cheated on can be strong, setting up standards and expectations and the couple does the work, if the cheater can admit that they are who messed up no matter what “drove them” (excuses meant to blame the other person) to it and take responsibility it can be fixed. It’s hard and it sucks, but sometimes (kind of often, sadly) it happens…
I agree. I worked with a woman who openly discussed her hatred for cheating (who doesnt hate cheating??) and said she could never stay with someone who cheated. This woman was 40 and has never been married. Unless you’ve been married and had that situation happen, then you have no idea how you would handle it. My husband cheated, it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. But through counseling we made it through that horrible time. When I was younger I always thought that women who stayed with their cheater husbands were weak…boy was I wrong. It takes a lot of strength to get through something like that. I didn’t stay with my husband for financial reasons, or for the kids. I stayed with him because I love him, he is my best friend and I didn’t want to spend my life without him. People make mistakes and some people learn from those mistakes.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Gandhi
I don’t know how you did it, I commend you. My husband and I were each other’s first girlfriend/boyfriend (not for religious reasons, just happened that way) and I’d be devastated. You’re right, it does take more than a bit to forgive something like that.
I don’t think it’s only ‘strong’ married people who try to work through cheating, even if their previous mantra is to leave if a partner did. I was with someone for over five years and he cheated. I forgave him and said we could work through it because he said he was sorry and loved me and did seem remorseful. Then he got her pregnant. I think that’s where most women just cut their loses and admit the person won’t change even with work, and leave.
@MerryHappy
You are right. Not just married couples go through that.
And I certainly don’t want to imply people are weak if they leave. Sometimes that is the best option and hard to do as well.
The fact that there were constantly rumors of his cheating, even after the stripper scandal, makes me feel like this interview is contrived. I don’t know why they’re addressing this now, but it seems so random.
I wonder if Fergie had a face lift? The 3rd photo of her with the double chin looks very off. It almost looks like her chin separated from her face or maybe it is just an unflattering photo?
That whole chin not right with the face is also happening to Mila Kunis in the post on this site from today! http://www.celebitchy.com/258483/ashton_kutcher_mila_kunis_get_pedicures_together_take_that_demi/
It’s like they got Lohan face or something!!!
That’s the sexiest woman alive?? I don’t get the Mila love. She has a very strange body, so-so face without make up. No boobs, no ass, no neck. Nobody would pick her from a line if she wasn’t a celebrity.
I think that’s why she always poses with such a smooth, calm face. Because when her face gets in motion, watch out!
Seriously, you know she got a look at that photo and said, “Honey, I could not give a sh*t less about that stripper these days, but if you ever grab me like that again, we’re through.”
yes, there is a weird chin epidemic going on in Tinsel Town.
Everyone has said what I was thinking, already… So I’ll bring up something slightly O/T…
Good Lord, how freaking tall is he?! (& Fergie, for that matter? He dwarfs her by comparison…)
Edit – Aaah, I looked it up… He’s 6’4 or 6’3 O.O & a few sources say Fergie is 5’3.
In the picture where she’s about to pop out of her dress, she’s mighty orange looking.
And saying he’s happy all that happened…ugh. That’s all I can say about that.
What I take from this ~ Oprah has come out with a new marriage therapy ~ The husband cheats with a stripper ~ Gets caught ~ Instantly you are closer together!
Now that’s a therapy any guy would get behind.
He has always grossed me out. I hate his tiny teeth.
creep
She was doing crystal meth? Good god. Now I understand why she messed with her face so much.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. And does it get any lower than a stripper before it turns into actual pay-for-sex? Come on, buddy. Don’t ask someone to be your wife if you’re not ready to leave the parties and the skanks behind. Think that if you catch something you’ll give it to your wife!
I would’ve dumped his ass, no couples therapy or forgiveness. What he did is unforgivable. It shows lack if respect and love. What’s the point?
What a complete tool! And ugly to boot!
Ugh Fergie can do better.
Maybe she justifies his cheating with her past drug use…’we’ve both made poor choices, but no one is perfect, and if we move past them, we can be stronger’…seems like she is making it out to be a wash.
Totally. Plus, she strikes me as a woman with very low self-esteem. What will your future be like with a man that sees no problem in hanging out at strip joints? Not even when being married to you? To me that’s a huge turn off and MAJOR red flag that they even go to joints like these. It’s just so gross and it speaks loudly on how they view women and sex. No thank you.
@annie, I totally agree with you. My SIL was a stripper and flipped when she heard that her husband’s friend wanted to have his bachelor party in a Los Vegas strip club. She said she knows what goes on there and would never accept her husband going to a strip club. I always asked potential suitors if they went to strip clubs; and if they said yes, I’d tell them that I expected $10s and $5s to be thrown at me every time I took my top off since that’s what they were doing for strange women when they disrobed 😛
Wow! See, I have a major problem with those places and to know that even a stripper is all HALE NO when her man wants to go to one? Absolutely grosses me out more. It’s just nasty and degrading to throw dollar bills to girls with no clothes on. What kind of man thinks that’s ok? Especially if he’s dating someone. It’s just very telling. Like, deep down they think women are less than them and so they find it perfectly acceptable to treat women like that. Of course no man will admit to that but it’s true.
When I get married I will throw a joint bachelor/bacelorette party. No stripper shennanigans or the wedding is off. It’s just disgusting and girls have no idea what goes down in those places.
If he’s into that stuff it’s a deal breaker to me.
@Annie, my husband’s best man was also a friend of mine and knew how I felt about strippers, so he didn’t hire one or go to a club. Instead, they all went to Atlantic City to gamble. My SIL was the designated driver and made sure they all towed the line. Lol. They got drunk, gambled and she drove them home. Strippers and porn are huge red flags for me too. I’ve read several studies (published in peer reviewed journals) that point to the fact that men who are into porn objectify women to the point where they value them for their parts and not for who they are as a person.
I give them credit for working it out, but they seem mismatched. I’m glad they took their vows seriously and are trying.
If they were truly able to work it out and come out of it better, good for them, but…I’m doubtful.
This couple is like a Jessica/Justin T. The chemistry I just don’t see it. Like J Lo and her Mon-chichi. Strange.
I really like them together. It’s not impossible to move past an episode of cheating in a relationship if both parties realize why it happened and what was happening in their relationship at the time. I don’t doubt that they went to counseling and conquered some of their demons.
I wish them luck with conceiving and hope that they have many happy years ahead of them.
And I really wish she’d lay off the tweaking of her face and the spray tanner. She looks so much better when she is just chillin’.
She really looked fresh and pretty in the interview. I watched the whole interview. minimal makeup. I never realized she had such pretty lips with barely any lipstick on. I never realized she was a child star. I find them to be a great couple. They have been together like eight years.
Fergie needs to take a bathe…she always seem so dirty to me. Does she bathe, like ever.
Great interview. I really felt like I got to know Fergie outside of her pop image. When she was off on tour for eight months and he’s off in movie sets, jt’s a recipe for disaster. They survived it and she seems to have taken some time off. It broke my heart about her father. I felt her love for him. Beautiful area, living out in wine country.
I agree. I wonder if this is why Fergie hasnt released another solo album? I thought her first one was very successful, but maybe it kept her away from her man more than being in the BEP’s does?
Fergie’s neck looks at least 10 years older than the rest of her… weird. And it appears Josh sprouted horns in that first pic.
I think he did cheat and I also think Fergie didn’t really care.
I always thought they were a weird couple.
From the interview it sounds like he cheated and owned it and decided he doesn’t want to be that man anymore. Good for him and them.
Cheating sucks. It destroys so much. That said, some couples will and can get through it. I think each couple is different.
My ex and I both cheated on eachother. We were together for a long time, my only serious relationship and it hurt so bad. We were a couple who could “not” get through it. I have not cheated since and I never will again. It’s about boundaries. Mine are so much better now. It’s a shame we hurt eachother that way since there was a lot of love there but ultimately, we threw up the white flags and called it a day. I forgave him but I never forgot. Same with him for me.
I think that entire experience, as messy as it was, has made me a better person for it. I know better now.