Is Jessica Simpson going to have a Hawaiian holiday elopement? Ugh.

I’m really looking forward to the holidays this year. Christmas falls on a Tuesday – two Tuesdays from now. That week, we’re probably going to be taking off for Christmas Eve, Christmas day, and then there will be some light posting for the last half of the week, depending on what’s happening. I have a nightmare scenario, though – what if EVERYONE gets married? There have been many reports about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s possible destination wedding. Then Brad Pitt said that he and Angelina were probably going to go through with their wedding “soon” too. What if there’s an Uncool Bermuda Triangle Wedding-Off? I’m actually concerned. I’m actually worried that I’m going to have to drunkenly write about somebody’s wedding on Christmas Day. Bah humbug!

Anyway, while I put the chances of a Bermuda Triangle Wedding-Off at “slim,” I do think there’s a decent chance that Jessica Simpson could end up with a near-Christmas elopement. Prepare yourselves.

Are Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson planning a secret wedding? RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the couple is heading to Hawaii on December 21st, and they’ve invited a group of close friends and family along for the trip.

Better still, Jessica, 32, and Eric, 33, have said they plan on making a big announcement to everyone there, but it can’t be about her surprisingly second pregnancy because that cat is already out of the bag!

“For the holidays Jessica and Eric are going to Hawaii and they’ve invited a lot of their close friends and family,” a source close to the Simpson family tells RadarOnline.com. “No one quite knows what is being planned, but family members are speculating that they could be planning a surprise wedding.

“Jessica and Eric had planned to get married before the end of the year, but because Jessica was helping her best pal Cacee with her wedding she got sidetracked. Then, her father’s problems shattered her world and she discovered she was expecting.

“Jessica is certain though that she wants to get married before her baby is born, and isn’t bothered if she’s showing in any wedding pictures. She just wants a relaxed and intimate ceremony and has been dropping hints that the big day could be right before Christmas,” the source divulges.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Jessica has made it clear that she wants to walk down the aisle before her second baby is born.

“Jessica wanted to get married before Christmas and was thinking of a date in December,” a source close to the Simpson family previously told RadarOnline.com. “But then Cacee set a date with Donald (Faison) for December, her father was caught up in the gay scandal and then she found out she was pregnant. Her plans were derailed and the wedding became a secondary detail with everything that was going on in her life.

“However, she still wants to get married soon and is seriously considering marrying Eric before her baby is due.”

[From Radar]

Yeah. I could totally see this happening. Shall we place our bets? Here’s my guesstimation:

Odds that Jessica Simpson will have a Hawaiian elopement: 50-50
Odds that Jennifer Aniston will get married during the holidays: 1 in 6, maybe
Odds that Brangelina will have some small, quiet, French wedding: 1 in 4, maybe

God, what if all of them get married? And what if Duchess Kate debuts her noticeable baby bump at the same time? And what if Jennifer Aniston announced her pregnancy on Christmas Day? And what if Blake Lively announced she’s pregnant too? And what if Rihanna and Chris Brown elope on Christmas Eve and then he goes on the honeymoon with Karrueche? GAH!!!!! I’m going to be working on Christmas, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

 

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24 Responses to “Is Jessica Simpson going to have a Hawaiian holiday elopement? Ugh.”

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  1. Chatcat says:

    Kaiser…with all that what-if scenario’s you need to start drinking now and not stop until Jan 2nd! Sláinte~

  2. truthful says:

    don’t worry dear, I’ll be here drunkenly checking in and commenting.

    LOL

  3. EmmaStoneWannabe says:

    That last paragraph was a bit of sensory overload..I am officially overwhelmed! My favorite scenario would be the CB/Rihanna wedding/ KTran honeymoon..hilarious.

    PS – Should have thrown in a Leo/Miranda PDA sighting; Gabe/Halle/Olivier Brawl #2; Brandi burning down Leann’s house by “accident” after she picks up HER boys for her turn at Christmas..and new Blohan charges for escaping the Chateau Marmont with her mother for not paying their tab for 13 spiked eggnogs…you really will be busy!!

  4. SW says:

    lol, I will be here, slightly buzzed and hoping to avoid my in-laws :)

  5. Jackson says:

    If you’re here working, I’ll be here reading. :) And don’t forget about the Cracken. I have a feeling she’ll be dialing it up for some Christmas press.

  6. Dawn says:

    I like that bag really. I wonder if it is a JS or someone else’s design. Anyone know? If she gets married she gets married. I do think however that she will not stop with baby 2, she has a guy who really doesn’t have any other job than keeping her happy and being preggo means she gets to eat what she wants and that makes her happiest of all. At least it appears that way to me.

  7. Katy says:

    Don’t do it Kaiser!! Don’t work on Christmas! Take the day off….the gossip will still be there! :)

  8. twoblues says:

    When did Eric become a lumberjack? How many of those shirts does the man own?

  9. lucy2 says:

    That’s probably what she should do, if she wants to be married before the 2nd baby. She’s already done the big fancy wedding, this time just focus on marriage and family.

    As for the other scenarios, that would be hilarious!

  10. Madriani's Girl says:

    The bridesmadids’ gifts will be lace-trimmed gas masks so they won’t have to breathe her chili fries farts.

  11. BELLA says:

    HE NEEDS A DADDY MAKE OVER !!HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS BUYING ALASKA

  12. Sumodo1 says:

    I am just gonna make that vodka run NOW!

  13. thatgirl says:

    You forgot about Lindsay. What if she gets sauced on egg-nog and dances around in the street flashing paparrazi?

  14. Stuart Horsely says:

    Is he going to get a job? I’m still completely mystified as to how he bought her a $15K (at least) Birkin.

  15. val says:

    Ha ha ha, lol, Chris marries Rihanna and honeymoon’s with Karueche…LOL, LOL, choked on my chex mix!

  16. PrettyTarheel says:

    Side note…Cacee Cobb is dating Turk? Where have I been?

  17. t says:

    I’m betting there won’t be a wedding for Jessica to the man in plaid and the “big announcement” will be the official pregnancy announcement.

    This time, instead of dressing like a mummy, Jessica will be dressed like the Virgin Mary (because it’s Christmas) and she’ll be riding on Eric Johnson’s back (he’ll be dressed as the donkey and covered in a plaid blanket). She’ll say something meant to be endearing like, “our lil family is about to get bigger” .

    But just like the first time, the pregnancy announcement will really be an ad for something Jessica is shilling.

    Only this time, we won’t be directed to the debut of Jessica’s Beauty Mint face lotion site like we were with the mummy announcement. This time when we click on the announcement, we will be directed to the debut of Jessica’s Breathalyzer Mint or Hour Boy Mint site. With these product endorsements, Jessica will be showing the world, that despite rumors to the contrary, she supports her dad in all his drunk driving and prostitution endeavors.

  18. leslie says:

    Don’t worry about working on Christmas!! You guys do not update on the weekends, so what’s the big deal? News happens during the weekends too; we are used to waiting until you’re back open for biz.

  19. bettyrose says:

    I really don’t get why any would deliberately tie their major life events to Christmas, which will forever overshadow any anniversaries of said life event.