Gwyneth Paltrow dances onstage with Jay-Z: embarrassing or kind of cute?

Gwyneth Paltrow

Can you believe that early January is finally here? Not only is it the New Year, but we’re coming up on the one-year anniversary of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop-branded colon cleanse! This is a momentous occasion, and I’m really crossing my fingers that not only will Goop publish next week’s newsletter with a new “collaboration” with a Dr. Junger, but finally, she’ll see the light and offer the Crispy Carrot Ginger and Luxardo Maraschino powder flavors that I previously suggested. If anyone knows anything about peasant life, it’s me, and Goop needs to listen to my suggestions. Make it happen.

At the moment, however, Gwyneth’s newsletter has been on hiatus since December 20, which is completely understandable considering that it’s the holidays, and Goop probably wants to Goop it up in the kitchen for her family and attend some fancy parties. Also, she has been videotaped dancing onstage at Jay-Z’s recent New Year’s Eve gig in Brooklyn, and the video has now gone viral. Naturally, the Mail has labeled Gwyneth’s moves ascringeworthy” and “mum dancing,” but I’m inclined to take it easy on her because this vid is actually kind of cute. Check it out:

I don’t know. I think Goop’s little jiggle is dumb, but her little display of entitlement (“Look, I’m on stage with Jay-Z! His wife, Beyonce, is totally my BFF, and we drink wine together in bed while our children frolic in the fields adjacent to my wood-burning pizza oven”) is no where near as embarrassing as Chris Martin’s overenthusiastic “hip-hop” dancing as he shouts “Yeah!!!” I will never understand what Gwyneth sees in that guy — well, besides the posh accent and all of that money.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Photos courtesy of WENN

 

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111 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow dances onstage with Jay-Z: embarrassing or kind of cute?”

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  1. Belle Epoch says:

    totally agree Chris Martin was embarrassing – that body jump was uncalled for and not appreciated IMHO

    Goop looks stoopid – plus her shoulders are always hunched in. What’s with that?

    • lucy2 says:

      She’s probably depleted her body of all it’s strength from too many cleanses and over exercising, and can’t stand up straight anymore!

      • Lauren says:

        Goopy seems uncomfortable and hunched over. Goop has a restricted diet, colonics,personal trainer. She has no shape at all. Looks boxy with straw hair. That awful black dress is so sleazy and unflattering. Goop dressed so much nicer in her 20′s. Classy. Now Goop looks desperate..isn’t it obvious that Chris cheats on her? I thought it was adorable when the children were bouncing & dancing.

    • Chicagurl17 says:

      It’s the fake down with it hand gestures that come off totally douchey. The white boy one-handed bounce and then shadowboxing???….she’s lame. I bet if we had a zoom, she’d be making a face to go with it. She’s so disengenuine at all times, as if she’s always trying to be the cooler version of herself.

    • TrustMeOnThis says:

      Looked to me like she was concerned about her top falling down. And being onstage but not being in the band is a bit awkward in general.

      I’m not gonna bag on her for this one. Sure her hubs is a rockstar, but working on NYE kinda sucks (even when you are the entertainment and they are cheering for you, because it’s still working on NYE – I’m a DJ, I did it for years for the $ but never again). I wouldn’t be surprised if her first choice for where to be at midnight was somewhere other than onstage with the band. So I’m inclined to cut her some slack.

      Also, if she was busting the moves, everyone would be mocking her for that. Girl, you know it’s true!

    • Jilli says:

      Everyone looks like they are having fun! Good for them!

      • beanie says:

        Absolutely! Looks like fun times! Both Goop and her hubby have good moves as far as I can see.

      • SdGirl says:

        I agree. They do look like they are having fun and just being silly It’s obvious at the beginning that her and Chris are both engaging with the kids. I act like a dork when I’m trying to help my kids have fun too! And, they all are clearly a little tipsy and trying to have their own fun NYE. it looks to me like G is totally off too the side and not trying to be the center of attention. I actually like her here. I don’t get the bashing on this one. I would like the $$, but really glad my dumb family party behavior is never posted online for comment :-)

    • c'est la vie says:

      Not as embarrassing as pushing colon cleanser.
      Here’s hoping the Goop celebrated NYE with a thorougly cleansed colon.

  2. RovingLass says:

    Surprised that Chris didn’t make Gwynnie wear a coat over head while onstage. God forbid they should be seen together. He strikes me a being a grade A arse, which is probably why she loves him…he’s grade A.

  3. eska says:

    Cute! Chris energy on stage is amazing. Now, let’s talk about Jay Z’s coat…

  4. Bored suburbanhousewife says:

    For a white girl raised on the upper East side, she has some rhythm & we’ve already seen her dancing on Glee.

    Chris Martin is at best average looking but that could be a shrewd decision on Goops part. Being married to a prettier man than you are can be a ticket to perpetual insecurity. Maybe he worships her because he can’t blues a dork like him got such a catch.

    Her colon cleansing and the general obssession with this stuff is so retro–anyone remember movie The Road to Wellville? In early 20th century people were obsessed with enemas, laxatives & bowel movements as the very keys to health. My grandma ruined her intestines with laxatives & enemas & constantly questioned her children & grandchildren “have you moved today??” I believe it was thought to be some sort of continuation of the Victorian Edwardian paranoia about cleanliness sex & moral purity. What explains it’s reoccurrence today?? Health as religion substitute?”

    • RN says:

      We have a name for those people when they’re in the hospital – “bowel babies”. There’s a whole generation of people who damaged their bodies with excessive laxative and enema use. My theory is that they didn’t have the arsenal of meds that we do now, so they used what they did have.

      My grandfather used to use leeches when he was ill. In his favor, he did live to be 95. And we also use leeches in the hospital for digit reattachments.

  5. L says:

    I can’t stand any of these people, but I thought most of Chris Martin’s dancing was adorable. For the most part he was dancing with the kids or looking at them trying to get them excited.

    When I first heard about this, I expected Goop to be dancing on a box or some other kind of over the top center stage thing. Goop just seemed like a regular WAG in the wings enjoying the music, energy of the crowd, and trying to be low key to not take away attention from the performances.

  6. Jayna says:

    I beg to differ. I think Chris brings out all of her insecurities, whether she’s cuter than him or not. He’s not a crazy in live with her guy. He doesn’t brag about her. He’s a massive rock star who is on the road a lot. I think Gwynneth pours her energies into the kids and all her other projects to make up for what’s missing in her marriage. The children in school and her hitting 40 made what’s missing in their marriage more glaring.

    • Bored suburbanhousewife says:

      Actually you may be on to something here. It would explain a lot. One thing I wonder is if she thinks if she sticks with it & cleans her colon enought times Chris will turn into the kind of husband and father she had in Bruce Paltrow. Not gonna happen, but she seems the determined kind who can’t admit failure. Plus she won’t want to fail her moms standard of providing an in tact family for she and her brother whilst maintaining a career.

    • RovingLass says:

      +1 and +1 to Jayna & Bored suburbanhousewife. Despite the fact I find her irritating, I do feel for her. I didn’t find her cringe worthy, she was just enjoying the show.

  7. lilred1 says:

    Why because Goopy can’t dance.Great way to generalize.

  8. Viv says:

    Since she was only on the side of the stage and not upfront I am not going to talk trash about Goopy here.
    But Jay Z’s coat and Goopy’s hubby’s juvenile jumping are very very questionable.

  9. marie says:

    I’m only sad that I’m at work and can’t give this Goop filled goodness the full attention it deserves… she’s punching the air right?

  10. tmbg says:

    She looked very self-conscious, but then again, no one was really doing much of anything except Chris Martin.

    I will take my Eminem (no hate, please – I can’t help liking him) any day, thank you very much. I wonder what his face would look like if he had Goop attempting to dance on his stage?

  11. Amy says:

    Or, they really are the best of friends and they are having a great time on NYE and for some precious moments, not really giving a damn. Seems nice to me.

    • Lauren says:

      I agree. They actually are all great friends and vacation/ do stuff together all the time. I think they were all in the moment and having a good time. people make fools of themselves all the time in this world and not everyone is good dancing. But if you can do things without caring how silly you and knowing it isn’t your strong suit then more power to you. It is a good quality to have.

  12. Katherine says:

    She gets a pass. She seemed to be trying to engage her kids who were a distance away so that made her “dancing” a bit awkward at times. She didn’t really do anything but mostly stand there and bop. It’s not exactly like Elaine on Seinfeld.

  13. Catk says:

    She looks cute. Look, she’s not a rock star or a rapper. She’s just bopping along like I or any other normal person would at a concert, but she happens to be on stage on camera. Ugh, the Gwyneth hate can be so ridiculous.

  14. DAFFY says:

    While I thot Id never say this, but in her defense I believe she was coaching her little ones that were on the stage next to the guitarist and did you notice she was just dancing DIDNT have a microphone.

  15. sullivan says:

    I found the family quite endearing in this video. Maybe they really are a sweet, loving family. Ok, so they may seem overly blessed, but who knows?

  16. Patrice says:

    I LOVE this video 😊 Why are people always so cynical? What’s wrong with it? Gwyneth is on stage supporting her husband publicly (it’s about time with these two!) and a good friend on New Years and she looks like she’s just letting loose and they’re all having a ball! Gwyneth always gets ripped apart on these threads for being “uptight” and “haughty” but when she’s dressed down and just goofing around and having a good time she gets blasted too?! It’s ridiculous. **Honorable mention goes to little Apple Mgartin and the other little girl in the sparkly dress who are tearing up the stage 😊 Gah! So cute 😄

  17. Ari says:

    I thought she looked cute hanging with Beyonce letting their dudes do their thing. I mean seriously at least she didnt pull a Demi Moore and be front and center with her hideous dancing. It looked really cozy and fun, well as cozy as you can get at huge a$$ concert like that LOL

    and i hate goopy so that fact that im even saying all of this is beyond odd

  18. maggiegrace says:

    Chris Martin is not dressed like a rock star, nor a rapper, nor a star. He’s dressed like an overly matchy 10 year old. Do his laces match his shirt?!!?!?!???

  19. HappyMom says:

    I’m torn between thinking it’s adorable to see the kids on stage, but also totally obnoxious and inappropriate.

  20. Ms Kay says:

    And I thought that naming the kids Apple and Moses was already enough of an embarrassment…

  21. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    On a scale of 1 to Demi, I give her embarrassing dance moves a 4.

  22. G says:

    Anyone else notice how humpy Chris gets on JayZ at the end of the song? Odd right?

  23. G says:

    Anyone else notice how humpy Chris gets on JayZ at the end of the song? Odd right?

  24. TheOneAndOnly says:

    Agree maggiegrace Robert Plant, Roger Daltry, Michael Hutchence – they were/are rock stars – watch their live performances back in the day which are all over youtube – goopy’s insufferable and Jay – Z is an entitled greedy corporate sellout – Need I remind everyone that during the OWS days he sold OWS t-shirts and kept the profits until he was called out. He and fakeonyce deserve each other since they both love themselves more than anything else.

  25. CTgirl says:

    Gwynnie is just so invested in being perfect that she’s become the Martha Stewart of HW – annoying and uninteresting.

  26. Reece says:

    The dancing does not bother me. I’ve seen worse. lol

  27. megsie says:

    I still like her. Against all better judgement and common sense, I do. I need help.

  28. Caroline says:

    Solange Knowles is the cool sister. GOOP trailing her a$$ after Bey and Jay is just so, I dunno… mom-jeans.

    And honestly what did Coldplay offer to this number? All he did was jump around and pop a few “heys” and take a victory lap.

    She can have them.

  29. Ginger says:

    I personally think the video is cute and they all look like they are having a blast. Sure, they are definitely doing the awkward, white folks type of dancing but why not? It’s New Years Eve and Jay Z is rapping…how could you not dance? Adorable that Chris is dancing with the kids too. It’s nice to see them cutting loose for once.

  30. Evelyn Apricots says:

    Moses is the only Gangsta on the stage.

  31. Latisha says:

    I don’t care about her dancing on stage with all her friends.I just can’t believe that a woman that clearly doesn’t eat is still writing cook books.
    CB is the gossip blog that shows what a pompous,arrogant dbag GP really is.If Steven Spielberg weren’t her god father and handed her all those breaks she’d be another tall skinny blonde still auditioning.

  32. Claudia says:

    I think it’s cute and harmless. I don’t think the dancing is embarrassing, a lot of people dance like this. Both she and her husband are mostly trying to get the kids involved and feel included, getting them to dance along. They’re just having fun.

    But! Whoever said Solange is the cool sister… proof:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy9W_mrY_Vk
    I think it’s one of the best songs to come out in the last few years. AHH. Love it.

  33. bcgirl says:

    omg Bedhead that post was hilarious.

  34. Miss Lafleur says:

    Looks like she is just having a great fun time with her family and fabulous friends! Lucky girl…

  35. dcypher1 says:

    Jay should never let people with no rythm dancing on his stage they look so ridiculous. They have no buisness there. Coldplay isnt hip hop its not even rock. Its like elevator music.

  36. annaloo. says:

    Crikey, I hope no one told her that she ‘looked cute’ dancing or that she was even any good. It’ll only mean that her talent-delusional stickhead be releasing a dance video or something later ..

  37. mar says:

    I think it’s cute.

    Knowing Gwyneth hates Kim K ans will not let them be part of that clique gives her points with me.

    Who is the chic in the black dress??

  38. BELLA says:

    I`m shocked that Gwynnie is even in the same buliding with Chris! time for gwynnie to give it up and start modeling for chadwicks or coldwater creek LOL

  39. yoyo says:

    Wow. The hunched over anorexic look is NOT fetching at all. Damn.

    Her “dancing” was just embarassing and no she has no rhythm. And she moves just like she sounds: stuck up.

    Hubby though was having a ball and well he’s the front man of one the biggest bands on the planet, so yes the man can move. I’m surprised the kids were on stage though, them who are so private. I was also surprised they didn’t have earplugs in, you can see at one point one of the kids holding his/her ears. It’s surprising cause hubby Martin is an advocate for wearing such devices at all concerts as he suffers from chronic riniging in the ears due to not protecting his ears early on. People think it’s an overuse injury but it isn’t sometimes it just takes the on time to get it for a very long time of not life.
    Protect your ears folks!

    • Annie says:

      I wish people wouldn’t just throw the word “anorexia” about. If you don’t like the thin and toned look, then don’t be thin and toned. Easy.

      • yoyo says:

        @Annie: look at the video, she doesn’t look thin and toned like in some of the pictures, she looks proper anorexic. Which considering her “diet” recommendations actually makes sense.
        We know what she looks like when she’s eating properly God knows we’ve seen enough pictures of Goopy for that…

      • Annie says:

        Nope still not seeing “anorexia” AT ALL in the videos – just slim. She eats, she just doesn’t eat a shit ton. Like I say, if you don’t like this look, then just be more voluptuous. No need to imply that those who do are mentally unstable – that is just intolerance for those who look different or have a different aesthetic to you. Personally if I were Gwyn here I’d keep myself around 10-15lb heavier that her, but I still do not think she looks anorexic.

  40. Sarah says:

    Geez, that was just embarrassing for everyone involved.

  41. serena says:

    Aw the children danced too, that was kind of cute.
    Actually, I like Chris way more than Goop. But I get why they’re together, most people wouln’t be able to stand them. LOL.

  42. kerprice says:

    The whole colonic thing is just too nutty. She hasn’t looked good/healthy in a long time.

    A good book to read about rich girls who are into the colonic health thing is “Starvation Heights”. It was a true story from 100 years ago about 2 naive sisters taken in by some quack

  43. TG says:

    Am I missing something? Because I saw Gyneth dancing off to the side not running around the stage screaming for attention. Her kids were adorable though with their dancing. I know this is a celeb gossip site but I don’t get why anyone (all the media) bothered to report on this like it was a big deal. I mean I only watched the video because I was expecting her to come out center stage and embarrass herself and that didn’t happen. She had a glass of wine off to the side with another woman and it was NYE everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves.

  44. mimi says:

    Many tall women are a bit awkward like that.
    I think she is cute and awesome as she is trying to encourage the kids to dance and communicating with them in that way.

    I have no idea why she is still with her husband. He seems as self absorbed to the max. There is nothing cool or sexy about him. He seems completely involved simply with himself and hardly marriage material.

    I think she definitely deserves better. She may be a snob and annoying in her attitude and entitelment and whatever, but she still deserves way better.

  45. rose says:

    i dont see the problem. she looks like she is having fun.

  46. Jennifer12 says:

    JayZ lives like a billionaire. What street cred? I like that he likes who he likes and doesn’t make excuses for it.

  47. Ranunculus says:

    I wish Goopy would ease a bit on the advise giving and especially the plastic tray endorsing on her website, which I find a bit tacky. Other than that I like that she cooks and that she seems to be a real good mum for her kids and also that she is not famewhoring her private life for publicity. Her husband – well I never got what she likes about him. Coldplay’s music is quite unsophisticated and Chris seems terribly immature and a bit dumb, so yeah she could do a lot better.

  48. Ferdis says:

    Apple loves dancing, no? She was happy.

  49. poppy says:

    she is the gift that keeps on giving.
    fake ponytail, lousy posture, whoring her kids on stage after ridiculing other celebs for the same, stood up by her bff, AWKWARD butt-clenched (cleansing at the moment poopeth?) dancing and only january?!?!
    thank you fabulous ladies of celebitchy for making 2013 a year to look forward to and for always giving me a safeplace to rage against goop.
    also, love the community here. some of the classiest peeps on the webs. sorry to goop fanciers in advance. just ignore me.

  50. Flora says:

    I’ve never been a fan of her’s, but I don’t understand the hate this time. She looked cute dancing and hanging out with her family and friends.

  51. Amelia says:

    I agree with the Daily Mail. Her “dancing” made me cringe.

    I thought Goopy didn’t drink alcohol. What was in that champagne flute…ginger ale?

  52. Natalina says:

    gwen and chris martin are an embarassment to white people. they both looked ridiculous, qwen u cant dance and ur not hip hop