Piers Morgan was on Chelsea Handler’s show last night, to promote the second anniversary of his own CNN show. I’ve watched the clip that’s available online a couple of times now and I can’t decide if Chelsea and Piers really hate each other and if she’s super annoyed with him, or if they’re just volleying off of each other and it’s all in good fun. Maybe the answer is somewhere in between – they do hate each other and they’re talking smack, but that’s their job too so they’re playing it up. It also strikes me that Chelsea can dish it out but that she can’t take it, because once Piers started turning her own schtick back on her she got bristly, but again it’s hard to tell – she’s always like that. Here’s more, thanks to The Daily Mail for transcribing the good parts:

Appearing as a guest on Chelsea Lately, Piers spent his entire slot poking fun at the rival host, who ended up losing her cool and telling him: ‘You can suck my a**.’

The 47-year-old former newspaper editor had barely sat down in his chair before the insults started flying, proving just how much rivalry there is between two hosts.

As soon as he took his seat, the acerbic blonde presenter asked him: ‘What are you looking at?’

Piers replied with a rather back-handed compliment: ‘Either you’ve had plastic surgery or a makeover as you look really hot today.’

Clearly not impressed with his cheeky comment, the 37-year-old replied: ‘You are so annoying, you are so obnoxious and you wonder why everyone hates you.’

‘I specifically covered up so you couldn’t look at me and undress me with your molester eyes,’ she added, contributing to the escalating banter between the pair.

Not wanting to let Chelsea get the better of him, Piers hit back straight away, saying; ‘Normally when I come on the show you are really hungover in a really unprofessional way.’

After making the allegation, he turned to the audience and added to the insult: ‘She’s like a bad boomerang, you chuck her away and she just sucks back in,’ he said.

Perhaps trying to steer the conversation into more professional territory, the US host reminded him that he had been a guest on the show a year ago.

‘You interviewed me last year on my first anniversary and it just proves one thing….’said Piers.

Interrupting him, Chelsea said: ‘Let me guess, that you’re a better interviewer than I am?’

When a chuckling Piers agreed that that’s where he was going, a fuming Chelsea fired back: ‘I don’t pretend to be a great interviewer, I don’t even pretend to be good at my job.’

‘That’s clearly apparent today but I can help you,’ responded a smirking Piers.

Losing her cool and clearly rising to her guest’s bait, the host simply responded: ‘Suck my a**.’

Laughing out loud, the Brit then asked her again if she’d had any work done, annoying her further: ‘Are you sure you haven’t had any surgery? Seriously?’ he asked.

When Chelsea then announced that she was trying to keep herself together, Piers got out a pretend violin and played it to the audience.

‘Poor multi-millionairess Chelsea, whining about her life again,’ he said.

[From The Daily Mail]

Maybe Chelsea really did get her feathers ruffled, but given how bitchy she usually is it wasn’t that obvious. I hate to give her too much credit, but she held it together well, I thought. I kind of like how she admitted she does a half-ass job. Again, Piers wasn’t saying anything to Chelsea that she doesn’t say to her guests. She’ll come right out with the same kind of barbs against whomever she’s interviewing so he was probably turning the tables to see how she’d handle it. I guess the outcome was predictable. It’s not like she was going to say “thank you” and be nice to him.

As a commenter on The Daily Mail mentioned, “She’s mean. He’s an a$$. Two wrongs don’t make it right.” It makes it somewhat entertaining, though.

Anyway here’s the clip. If you’re not in the US you can watch it on The Daily Mail:

Chelsea is shown at the premiere of Movie 43 on 1-23-13. Credit: WENN.com