Gwyneth Paltrow is bored with acting, wants to be the next Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow must be feeling antsy. Despite her high-class, jet-setting, enormously expensive lifestyle, a “rock star” husband, a spot on the (gulp) New York Times bestselling list, and a (at this point) moderately successful career as an actress, Goop just isn’t satisfied with life. To be entirely truthful, I knew something was amiss when Gwyneth announced that she wasn’t detoxing for the New Year, so she must not really be feeling like herself.

It turns out that something is wrong in Goop’s life. Goop is feeling very underwhelmed by life on film sets lately — even though she’s only really been in those Iron Man movies and that terrible Country Strong over the past handful of years. Personally, I think Goop is upset that no one treats her like the “it girl” anymore in Hollywood, so she’s decided to voluntarily “cut back” on acting. What will she do instead? She’ll grow her Goop website, and she eventually wants to have an empire as big as — get this — Jessica Simpson. Yes, Gwyneth wants to be more like the former singer that Kaiser lovingly refers to as “Farty.” Goop wants to make a ton of money selling useless crap like Jessica does on a daily basis. Here we go:

Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow is giving up showbiz for, well, business. A source says that after the 33 Dias actress wraps her next few films, she will focus on growing her lifestyle website, Goop, and the fitness company she co-owns with trainer Tracy Anderson.

Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.”

The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.”

Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay, I’ll play ball. Let’s say that there’s something to the theory that winning a Best Actress Oscar so early in life left Goop with very litle incentive to develop herself as an actress. After her Academy Award success, she really took a nosedive though even though she was trying to do passion projects. Did you see Sylvia, which was supposed to be arthouse Goop? She was atrocious in that movie, and so was Daniel Craig (don’t tell Kaiser I said that) as Ted Hughes. So I guess it’s easier for Goop to admit that she’s lost her taste for acting instead of possibly admitting that her Oscar was a fluke, and maybe she really wasn’t cut out to be an actress in the long term.

Seriously though, if she really wants to be like Jessica Simpson, Goop is going about it all wrong. Abandoning her New Year cleansing ritual this year after going to all of the (non-)trouble of relabeling another company’s product as a Goop-branded colon cleanse was a big mistake. Sure it was a pricey endeavor for Goop seekers, but that sort of flatulence is priceless if you know what I mean. And this year, it’s certainly a missed opportunity for Gwyneth to “grow” her own farty empire.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Jessica Simpson

Photos courtesy of WENN

 

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60 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow is bored with acting, wants to be the next Jessica Simpson”

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  1. Ranunculus says:

    She has done a movie with Mark Ruffalo, (which comes out soon I think) and also a Spanish movie about Picasso’s muse Dora Maar. She also gets a suit in Iron Man 3. So I guess other than working with RDJ on a blockbuster she is more into doing independent work.

    • Lune says:

      Her movie with mark and Pink can’t find an American distributor and is going straight to DVD.

      My theory is the mighty goop is jealous of her BFF Beyonce. Goop always had the i’m trying to be the perfect mom excuse and now there is someone more insufferable in her circle who is doing it all. Think about it, in her circle of BFFs she’s the only who doesn’t have a super successful career. Reese’s movies suck but before this year she was making 2 to 3 movies a year. Stella runs a major fashion label and Beyonce is an in your face mogul. I think that’s why she’s become so close to Cameron, her life is a hot mess and she’s someone G can still “advise”

      • Katie says:

        I think that’s really true. I think she likes having someone to show the ropes. And Cameron, despite her success, seems like a good project. It’s funny, though, because Cameron has been in way better movies than GP. She was really great in Being John Malkovich (her best movie, IMO) and can carry a movie and bring in an audience. I think Cameron’s big problem is that her persona is still that of a giggly 20-something and she’s 40 now. She needs to “grow up,” but I don’t see how GP is going to really help her with that. What Cameron needs is a juicy role, like Charlize Theron in “Monster,” to take her into the next stage of her career. If Cameron were up for such a role and GP got wind of it, I bet her passion for movies would come back and she’d try to Winona Ryder her new BFF.

      • Ranunculus says:

        The movie has not found a distributor yet because it is too controversial for US audiences. If Goopy was so career driven she would have started working right after she had her children. I am sure Goopy is fine with what she is doing and will not want any of the career a J. Simpson has.

  2. allons-y alonso says:

    hahahahahahahahahahaha

  3. Claire says:

    Everything she does screams of desperation…

  4. marie says:

    ha ha ha ha, I’m sorry but my eyes must be deceiving me. Goop wants to be like Simpson, where’s the punchline or the ba-dum-pum-pish.

  5. mel says:

    She will be successful only if she keeps a foot in earth and lowers the prices though. She clearly has the following.

    I agree about her Oscar thing. It was too soon and I fear the same will happen to JLaw.

    • Hakura says:

      I agree. Getting the ultimate goal in the profession so early in her career may have made her feel as though she’s ‘conquered’ this profession. (Sort of like a balloon hitting the ceiling. It stops because it’s reached the top.)

      I’m sure her ego has her thinking she’s already ‘the best of the best’, w/no need of so-called ‘improvement’. -_-’

      • mel says:

        I agree. That happens because they get into the industry enamoured with the game and keep acting until they peak with an Oscar just because that is why they wanted in first place, they don’t give a crap about art or acting, they just want to be famous and receive free clothes lol it’s sad.

    • Meredith says:

      Not sure if she should lower her prices as elitism for the goop-loving masses is her “brand”. And as much as I love Celebitchy’s goop focused stories, I admit that i love going to her web site and find it very interesting. But you need a lot of disposable $ to afford the stuff.

  6. Hakura says:

    Seems to me she’s just looking for a new endeavor, in which she can be the main center of attention, & not have to share any (or..at least not much) of the glory (Unlike with movies w/costars, or all the collaborations, ect).

    Interesting choice for a role model, though…

  7. Katie says:

    I don’t think she wants to be Jessica Simpson as much as she wants to be as RICH as Jessica Simpson. She may be in the Iron Man movies, but she’s so small a character she could be replaced by anyone (Reese Witherspoon, for example. Or Sandra Bullock! Holy crap that would be awesome) and no one would miss her. So I don’t think they’re paying her the big bucks. And she was never, even fleetingly, a box office draw, so she never got the odd $20 million movie role. And Coldplay is a fairly popular band, but they’re not U2 by any means.

    So I think it’s the money. She wants to roll with Beyonce and Jay-Z. At this point, though she’s probably loathe to admit it, even Kanye and Kim are richer than her and Chris Martin. So I can see her deigning to have a “small side project” that’s an empire that makes her filthy rich, all while she’s pretending she couldn’t care less about peasant things like money.

    • sirsnarksalot says:

      You nailed it. She wants the MONEY Jessica has. The roles and paychecks from acting are dwindling, and the GOOP newsletter and workout empire aren’t bringing in much. Plus hanging with Bey has her green with envy over their billions. And those rumours about her impending marital split could leave her poorer than ever! egads. Problem is she can’t appeal to the average Walmart shopper like Jessica who sells afordable wearable crap. Good luck Goopy!

  8. Eleonor says:

    In her heydays she was one of the most overrated actress out there.
    I’ve always thought she didn’t deserve that Oscar (Glenn Close doesn’t have an Oscar Goopy does…) if now she wants to change…well let her do it.

  9. T.Fanty says:

    I have to confess to unabashedly loving Goop, in all her cracked-out glory.

    Also, how great does she look in that first photo?

  10. brin says:

    “She wants to make a killing”? Sounds so money-grubbing, Lady Goop.

  11. Sheil says:

    She has it all, good health, looks, family, friends and money and does not appreciate or feel grateful. To emulate Jessica Simpson’s empire is sad. Money does not fill all the voids! For goodness sake, Goop, do something that matters in life!

  12. Micki says:

    “Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”

    I thought the movies have lost their passion for Goop.

    • poppy says:

      this.
      this is it and has been it for a long time. she can’t open a movie and hasn’t had a successful one since shakespeare in love/emma days. every movie she stars in bombs. she squeaks by in ensemble films. any film people love her in (royal tennenbaums, ironman, talented mr ripley) she was just one small part of.
      even with her connections, if she hadn’t dated brad pitt (ugh) she would be nowhere, including married to her current.

  13. bea says:

    If she wants to be the next JS, she needs to get herself to the nearest Cheezecake Factory.

  14. Jayna says:

    After 40, roles being offered to women start drying up. I think she is just planning for the inevitable. She hasn’t been white hot as an actress for a long time as far as opening a movie, being sought after for roles. She probably gets rejected more than we know. Plus I don’t think she likes leaving the kids.

  15. JL says:

    Goop just wants to be something other than totally and completely vapid!

    Jealous that the stacked and curvy country girl, without two famous parents is more successful?

    Jealous that the girl from nowhere pulled herself up and is actually happy and secure?

    Oh silly little Goopmuffin, it’ll take much more than talk, cleansing and money to get that life.

  16. dcypher1 says:

    i would never buy her overpriced or whatever she thinks is affordable goop crap. she would probably sell a handbag for $1,000 . no way in hell would i buy anything from goop.

  17. Jayna says:

    How is Madonna’s Truth or Dare empire going? She says it will be a lifestyle brand that under it encompasses perfumes, shoes, on and on. I can’t remember what she announced all of her plans were under fashion. She also opened more fitness gyms and is releasing the workout videos.

  18. Talie says:

    The same thing happened with Angelina, who I believe, was the same age as Gwyneth when she won her Oscar. None of the work either one of them did after Oscar was as good as before they won.

  19. I.want.shoes says:

    She better start eating cheese in a can, then.

  20. janie says:

    Midlife crises? She isn’t getting lead roles anymore. Unfortunately she’s delegated to the co-star, or mom rolls.

  21. kersten says:

    “She plans to do one or two supporting roles per year”

    Um, yeah. Gwyneth has NO chance anymore. Her dad is gone, and there is no more roles coming in due to her connections. The world knows that she is a horrid actress who skated by on being a tall blonde with amazing connections through her parents. Even that isn’t enough anymore. Puh-lease, she can kiss the ground that she still gets these shoddy “supporting” roles by people in the industry who want to do a favor for her godfather, Spielberg.

    She’s tryin’ to make a living the good old fashioned way, like a peddler. But she’s trying to seem high class about it all. Do you think Meryl Streep would be doing this?

    Personally, I find her to be a liar and a scammer, and she’s trying her hardest to make lots of money somehow to make up for her acting failure. People, please notice how she changes her story and philosophy every year. She’s obviously got an eating disorder…vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic, cleanses, fasting, totally normal in moderation, work out 2 hours a day. She’s all kinds of crazy and trying to make a buck off of all her gimicky crap. I don’t want to be negative, but this woman tells people things that are harmful to their health, and then turns around and changes her mind about it.

    By the way, she is the spokesperson for a frozen food line in Austria? And the frozen food has CRAP in it. Yes, the queen of high class is pushing crappy processed frozen food in europe for a quick euro.

    Shame on her, and shame on the people who buy into this.

    • annaloo. says:

      Oh my God, THIS!

      Gwyneth is a fraud, her image and tall skinny frame is all that she has! All you have to do is watch her do anything – ANYTHING – to see how mediocre she really is.

      Can’t sing
      Meh actor
      Notally can’t dance
      Not relatable or funny

      She’s a THUMPING BORE!

      In the 90′s, I think J-Lo was the one who said she was only famous because she was dating Brad Pitt. Words of TRUTH. Gwyneth’s peak was then. She was tall, thin, blond, connected and had an airy-fairy name no one had heard of. Charmed, but that girl is GONE! She can tell herself whatever she wants and try to promote lifestyle BS, but I’d almost rather it if Gwyneth just rolled back and disappeared in her lifestyle. You don’t see her contemporaries like Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett trying to shill like her. She’s so myopic bc she doesn’t realize that half of her allure was bc her life seemed like such a charmed mystery…now we’re going to see her blanched raisin face attempting to be like Jessica Simpson? Even I hate seeing Queen Bees fall.

      Gwyneth needs to read Lainey and take life and image advice.

  22. anonymous fan says:

    This woman is a spoiled brat who desperately needs to be the center of atention and if her acting doesn’t do it then she will find another way.If she really wants to be like J.S she should gain 30 pounds then spend all the time talking about it and not shut the hell up about the 30 pounds.Then make milllions getting paid to lose and gain the weight back.Am I the only one that is sick of J.S shelling her weight all the time? Being fat is all Jessica Simpson is known for.I forget that she used to sing.I am kidding of course, God forbid Goop gain even 5 pounds.She would have to eat first.

  23. Zorbitor says:

    There’s always Lifetime movies

  24. poppy says:

    hahaha. this is the one that said she’d never ever sell out with goop even though “corporate america is knocking at my door”.
    she has zero brains. she cannot remember what she said yesterday-last year and can’t understand why she comes off as an insincere taint.
    she is priceless and i hope she never changes.
    my schadenfreude is earning serious dividends. can’t wait to see where this terd blossom will be in 10 years.
    (still not beyonce)

    ps tracy anderson gives you gristle arms

  25. Ramona Q. says:

    She could spend time doing charity work instead of focusing on making more millions for herself. Greedy.

  26. Gossip Girl says:

    Goop wants to be Simpleton and talk about FARTING? nahh you lie… ;)

  27. Hautie says:

    I have been on to Gwyneth from the start. For two years she has been out there looking for that cash.

    But I had thought it was because her husband, had cut off her allowance. :)

    Gwyneth had been spending money, that would even give Jay-z pause. There must be 20 million dollars tied up in that London home alone.

    So suddenly our girl Goop decided to go back to work. Even lower her high standards and do TV. (Glee)

    Of course she is jealous as hell… that someone so beneath her (?) like Jessica Simpson has a freaking fortune.

    And will as long as Jessica never lets her boy Eric Johnson, have check signing privileges. :)

    But the one thing I don’t see Gwyneth doing… is the hustle that Jessica has done.

    Mock Jessica all you want. But the girl does oodles of personal appearances. Everywhere they sell her product line.

    Jessica is out there in the stores, doing the much needed appearances. Doing all the talking and picture taking it requires.

    Where as Gwyneth does not strike me as a girl… who has it in her… to go make small talk with the common folks. Unless they are in a uptown Manhattan book store. And agree to never look her in the eye. LOL!

  28. MsAubra says:

    You ever just look at somone and yawn? I do that knowing how much of a stiff-assed ninny she is, she probably nags and doesn’t suck d*ck neither…bitch!

    LOL

  29. kitkerenina says:

    She wants to be JS because times have changed. JS is what the new army of PFOT-Bots, (photoshopped fat on twigs robots) aspire to look and sound like. Bet the Pfot-bots are forced to watch endless footage of Jessica, but any and all attempts to relate or emulate come off as tragic. ‘Cause farty Jessica does fit the new social consciousness, unlike Goop constantly cleansing from her own yesterthin neurotic recipes and regimens.

  30. videli says:

    Haha, these two in the same sentence, how awesome! No matter how much I dislike dumbo Jessica, form a physical point of view, she looks like an appetizing plum compared to Paltrow. Gwyneth looks so… dessicated and sad-sack.

  31. Madriani's Girl says:

    Cracks me up how she acts like she’s in such high demand for acting roles and she’s only deigning to do “one or two” roles per year. In reality, everyone is tired of her and her haughty, high-and-mighty judgments.

  32. Gemini08 says:

    Ummm I beg to differ Bedhead. I saw Sylvia and she was AMAZING in it. She was also amazing in Two Lovers. I think it’s smart what she is doing being an actress in Hollywood who peaked early and who is now in her forties instead of desperately clinging to what was like some actresses she is carving out a new niche for herself. People love to hate on GP but I think she is incredibly smart and savvy with how she has been handling her career over the last few years. She made a trunk load of money on the Iron Man franchise and can focus on doing what she really loves. Good for her.

    • Becky1 says:

      I think she’s a decent actress. The most recent thing I saw her in was “Two Lovers” and thought she was well cast and solid. She’s not a great actress but she’s a good one. I think she would do well by taking small, interesting roles in big movies or larger roles in indie films. I don’t understand why she feels the need to shill and to make herself into some brand. Wasn’t she always all about being a “serious actress?” I can’t believe money is an issue-she’s made plenty on her own plus she’s married to Chris Martin. I guess it’s an attention seeking thing? Or maybe she’s just plain greedy? Maybe she’s thinking of leaving Chris and wants to have her own little empire? I don’t know. I think it’s odd.

  33. danielle says:

    Fascinating! I first read this and laughed, seemed ridiculous. Buuut….Goopster does hang with the super rich. Her acting career couldn’t have made her THAT much. Her husband possibly is in the super rich league (touring brings in boatloads of cash) but if they are having problems, she might get stuck flying commercial or something horrible like that.

  34. F5 says:

    Maybe acting is bored with her..

  35. KellyinSeattle says:

    I like Jessica way more than I like Gwyneth, and at least her clothing line puts out a decent, affordable bra…

  36. chirpy says:

    I hope she’s planning on shilling her crap in Europe. Wouldn’t she have lost any fan base and credibility she ever had by talking down about everything USA related?

  37. Dizzle says:

    Jessica Simpson> Gweneth Who?

  38. mollination says:

    “moderately successful” career at acting? Are you joking?