or What Katie Didnt Do …

Lovely Liz Smith at Page Six reports that Katie Holmes suddenly remembers she’s an actress. Maybe they had to take her off the Stepford sedatives while she was recovering from her brash new rhinoplasty … don’t want to mix medications after all. Not when she has some good Thetan breeding years left in her yet.

Agency CAA is developing a new career plan since Katie has not worked during the two years since she fell for Tom. … [Moviefone] describe her connection to Tom Cruise as “a tabloid free-for-all” that didn’t do her any good, creating negative publicity. They say her “likability” rating has dived. And she’s been off the screen too long.

Lovely Liz exhibits some of the problems of an overly kind granny reading of gossip (usually a welcome change from the venom for venom’s sake). In trying to prove that launching the Tom Cruise Missile into a girl’s career is a force for good not for evil - Liz undermines her own kindly case.

Of course, Tom Cruise could produce his own movie to star his beloved. If you think such loving nepotism doesn’t work, think back to Norma Shearer and hubby Irving Thalberg. Being associated with Mr. Box Office didn’t hurt Penelope Cruz, his short-term girlfriend. She’s up for a Best Actress Oscar. And since her divorce from Tom, Nicole Kidman has come into her own.

Okay she gets points for going all ol’ skool with the Shearer/Thalberg reference, but the rest of the argument falls to bits … only proving that getting free of the TC works wonders. Sort of like time served in purgatory that might eventually get you the Keys to the Kingdom. As for producing a film for Katie … does the idea of Battlefield Earth Returns frighten anyone else down to their cotton socks.

Penelope Cruz’s Volver nomination is generally considered a Hail Mary (or I guess Ave Maria) pass from a Hollywood career with not a single good role. She had to basically rewind back to her pre- Cruise Hollywood days to get back on track. I think working with Almodovar again is clearly the key, not her year of T.ender L.oving C.ruise.

Kidman’s divorce let her wear heels again and start winning Oscars worthy roles et al. Isn’t the real lesson that Katie Holmes is either up Dawson’s Creek without a paddle or married and in flats? Success will follow when she’s paroled or granted a pardon.

I wonder if CAA stands for Cruised Actresses Anonymous - in certain knowing circles?

Pictures added by Celebitchy: Here’s Katie Holmes outside of CAA on 1/26, which Just Jared says stands for Creative Audio Associates, which handles music and sound for TV and film. There’s also a Creative Artists Agency, which is what I figure it stands for. Pictures are from KatieHolmes.com