Here are some photos from last night’s opening of “the Tracy Anderson Flagship Studio” in Brentwood. If you’ve been following this crap long enough, you know that Tracy Anderson used to be in business with Madonna until Tracy and her con artist friends defrauded Madonna of hundreds of thousands of dollars (mostly from Madonna’s charity), and then Tracy moved on to Gwyneth Paltrow and now they’re in business together. Gwyneth and Tracy have opened up this studio together, and they’re also doing a blow-dry bar in the same space, I think. So, this was the launch/opening for everything.
And what a peasanty evening it was! Gwyneth wore this (surprisingly cute) purple Victoria Beckham dress and a pair of the ugliest Michael Kors shoes I’ve ever seen. Tracy wore… I have no idea. She looks like ten kinds of hell, so who cares what she’s wearing and why would you ever want to take her advice about anything? As for any new Goop quotes… I found this one, where she’s discussing how she loves to listen to hip-hop when Chris isn’t at home: “He can’t have background music on; it has to be 100 per cent of his attention. But if he isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop – I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.” Oh, Goop. You are a bad mutha. Oh, and here’s Goop’s new Goop-letter. I found it boring.
Hilariously, the biggest “names” (other than Goop) at this event were Stacy Keibler (in Rebecca Minkoff) and (gulp) Kim Kardashian. As you can imagine, Gwyneth did NOT deign to pose for photos with either Stacy or Kim. Because Lady Goop deigns to mingle with the peasantry, but let’s not ever forget that she IS elite. She will open a “studio” so that fat peasants can try to lose weight to look more like Gwyenth, but she doesn’t really want to talk to them or be seen with them.
Photos courtesy of Brian To/WENN.com.
cute dress,great legs but i dislike the shoes
Hell froze over because goop praised KK on entertainment tonight with video proof
Dress WOULD be cute if it were 3-4 inches longer.
Why does KK not look pregnant in these pics?
I think KK actually wore size-appropriate clothing, so she looks much smaller.
I need those shoes for walking the dog after dark.
No worries about not being seen by a car with that orange safety fabric.
Loving that the Keibler is the cutest cookie there. That dress is fabulous.
It’s so funny that Keibler looks better than the rest of them. I think Brad Goreski is styling her now (at least he did for the Oscars) but whatever has helped her evolve sartorially has definitely helped her!
Also, Kim K looks way better here than usual and she’s wearing something that even looks comfortable. Maybe she’s finally starting to get it that she has to change the way that she dresses to accommodate her changing body.
Stacy Keibler looks lovely. I can’t even find fault with KK’s look. And I am completely jealous of Paltrow’s legs.
Tracy Anderson, on the other hand, frightens me. That bleachy blonde isn’t doing her any favors.
Stacy looks great. Don’t like Goops’ hair, dress or shoes. But WTF is up with that other so called fitness person.. her face and hair look like something from the dark forest in Harry Potter, or like an Aunt hobbit. Why would anyone take advice from this woman? I don’t even think her body looks that good.
I don’t like the flare, especially on a short dress. It looks like she raided Jane Jetson’s closet!
Jane Jetson – you nailed it.
Yeah, not a fan either. It looks like a skating costume. And she needs a better bra to hoist the girls up.
Ya it does look a bit like a skating costume, but geez, how high do you need her ‘girls’ to be?
Brad goreski is the best. He also styles Jessica alba one of the best dressed hw actresses. Whatever you may say about her acting her style is always on point.
This
Kim Kardashian looks really good in that outfit. She needs to get her pregnancy style in order more often.
She really does.
She looks the best of all of them. That can only be a sign of the impending apocalypse…
Keibler looks good, but a little too overdressed for a gym opening. Yes?
+1
Word.
Kim looks great!!!!!!
In Kardashian standards she looks very decent! LOL
I always like VB designs. I love mini dresses and mini skirts and love simple, clean lines. I feel like she designs for regular women who just want a nice dress with a flattering cut.
Goop looks good except she looks like she’s going to fall over in those shoes. Also, she should drop her hair down a shade or two–that blonde is a bit harsh–but at least her face isn’t all ‘toxed up.
Kim actually looks good here I think.
That Tracey creature is scary though. Yeah, I’m being mean today but she just has WAY too much plastic surgery plus her “diet advice” is total bullshit.
Tracy creature lol!! Ita with everything you said.
I like VB’s dresses BUT she insists on doing that whole visible zipper thing and it drives me bat shit. It ruins a perfectly lovely dress every time.
I wasn’t sure that was Tracy. she doesn’t even look like herself (looking at some old Youtube videos). I don’t know what’s wrong w/ the women in LA. Tracy looks a mess.
woah … Kim’s face looks JACKED!! But I LOVE LOVE what she is wearing. I thought for a second it must be a very old pic because her figure hasn’t looked this good since she got pregnant! But she really needs to stop messing with her visage … can your face change this much from pregnancy? or is it too much plastic?
Forget Gwyneth, can I just comment on Tracy Anderson for a minute?? Maybe it’s the lighting or bad photoshopping, but she looks more hideous than ever. It’s the bolt on boobs, tranny face, weird jaw, everything! Yuck!
yes, and cold shark eyes.
Exactly. And then when you read her back story-holy crap! I would have thought that Goop had better business sense than to get caught up with her.
Do tell!
I have to agree that she is a fright, but that KimK looks great here. Why doesn’t she look like this all the time?
I’m amused that two women with awful, yellow, fried hair are opening a blowdry bar.
ha – good one OT – fried yellow hair indeed!!!
And the hair! It looks like it would break if you touched it, it’s so fried! Way worse then Goops, and my first thought when I saw GP was, “cute dress, need help with her hair.”
Tracey looks really rough.
Stacy Keibler and Kim K are the only people they could get to come to the opening how sad is that.
What happend to all of Gwen’s BFF’s beyonce and cameron diaz.
Gwyneth is becoming so perfectly expensively eliminating minimalistic she just might vanish..
Lol!!!
Nice!
Tracy Anderson need not lighten her hair, it emphasizes how big her head is, wow that’s a noggin..
on Gwyneth I’d say the bottom half looks great, killer legs but bad shoes. everything above the waist looks awkward.
I can’t believe it – Kim is dressed appropriately!!!!!!! Stacey Kiebler doesn’t look too bad. Gwyneth’s dress is too short and for Tracey A there are no words….she’s hopeless.
So much plastic surgery amongst the four of them…
Kim Ks outfit is cute… shocking!
Ugly shoes Goop, looks like concert entrance bracelets around her ankles.
I don’t like her, but I think Gwyneth looks great. I even like the shoes. Stacey looks really good, too. I’m loving that dress! Tracy Anderson must be a hobbit if Kim K towers over her.
I must say I am really getting a kick out of GOOP season here on CB. There are lots of celeb idiots out there, but what is a better quote than “….if he isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop – I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook”?
That’s one of the funniest pretentious statements I’ve ever heard. Goop is a bad mutha! I predict that her next celebrity best friend, whose name she will knock herself out dropping, will be Samuel Jackson. Nobody’s a badder mutha than him!
Also, I’ll bet she gets to be a bad hip-hop mutha pretty often, because does Chris Martin ever go home?
Well, darling, aren’t we all really just bad mutha rapping cooks at heart? I know when I gently fold my scone dough so as not to bruise the butter, I like to drop a few Underground Kingz lines in between kneads.
And heavens, I think you broke my toe from the anticipated SLJ name drop.
Jane! You’re back! I am so glad to see you! I hope you had a wonderful time away.
Good thing you’re back, though, because the sweater/sock combo orders are piling up like you would not believe.
I am back, dearest. I have been back but unable to catch up enough to come to tea with you ladies. When I finally had a moment, no one wanted to play so I am actively ignoring my inbox this morning and saying “hallo!”
Yes, I have seen the orders and will be working well into the night on them. How many argyles does your Mr. Cumberbatch need, anyway? I have made a special something for Tommyanna as I have decided to start having sex with him again. No, CHemboy is still my number 1 but those Flaunt pictures certainly caught my attention.
Now, as for Dame Goop – is she asking me to walk into a gym to get my blow out? Could you think of anything less sexy? With the smell of sweat and yoga mats? Not to mention the guilty reminder that I did nothing to balance the calories in the eclair (or three) I consumed the night prior. No, I think I shall stick to taking my bonnet off during a brisk carriage ride to blow out my hair, thank you very much.
Oh, Miss Eyre, I have missed you. Cumby is getting awfully low on socks, so I would say probably several hundred pair. Yes, it sounds excessive, but I finally figured out why all his socks were disappearing. I caught Eve sneaking into his bedchamber when she thought I was doing the Tracy Anderson workout. She knew, based on my natural languor, that I lacked the strength to fight her off as she rummaged through Cumby’s drawers (I’m not sure what I meant by that) & stuffed hundreds of his darling little socks into a duffel bag. It’s an outrage, & Cumby is inconsolable.
I am delighted to hear that you are going to patch things up with Hiddley-anna. I respect your passion for CHemmie, but I like you so much with Tommy & believe that you crazy kids were meant for each other.
And Goop. Oh, Goop. I happen to know that she is a closet eclair lover just like we are. She’s not fooling me. She says she has a magic recipe that does not include flour, eggs, dairy or chocolate (it’s in her new cookbook) but she cheats when Chris Martin isn’t home (every day & every night, year-round) & she is a bad-ass mutha with those eclairs.
And I think letting your locks blow-dry in the breeze as you trot around Thornfield’s grounds in the carriage is a much better idea than going to her idiotic “blow-dry bar.” What a ridiculous scam! Save your tuppence, Miss Eyre. You’re going to have to buy a lot of yarn for all the socks.
P.S. I adore Naomi!
*gasp* Eve! That trollop! And after all that time you spent pairing and folding those socks. It’s just like her to undo your efforts. Well, I will knit few “special” pairs with her in mind. Just make sure to leave them on top so when she has her hand fully in his drawers she will get a little surprise herself. Oh dear, maybe little surprise is not the best choice of words – I am sure Cumby has great things to speak of.
We will see about Tommyanna (Hiddleyanna just had too many syllables. Say it thrice, you will see what I mean). He has quite a bit to make up for, let’s see how inventive he can be about it. I think the only way to settle this business between CHemboy and Tommyanna is a side by side comparison. Head to toe, if you will. Back and forth, double analysis… this could take a while. And then I have T. Fan and the Doublemint Ginger Twins in the drawing room – Thornfield is going to need to be sterilized again.
Thank you for reading Naomi, I really do appreciate it. I have more personalities than a Network Exec. Someday I will tell you all about Trixie.
Oh my God, Kim K is wearing something presentable & looks kinda good!
I usually can’t tolerate Kim Kardashian but since her pregancy I have quite enjoyed following her hideous maternity fashion faux pas.
But apart from her face, she actually looks good here. Kim, your only value to me is the chuckle I get from seeing your the latest unflattering leather skirt or frilled outfit so please don’t dress so tastefully too often!
Has Goop ever tried styling her hair with waves or curls? Her hair looks dead all the time.
flawless as usual
Those shoes are possibly the ugliest I’ve seen on here so far. And in what way do they go with purple?
Guess it’s just Goop being gooptastic again. And if she can find a way to show her overly toned legs, she will.
She’s a bad mutha all right. She’s so unhip it’s unbelievable.
Exactly! Not only are those ugly mutha’s, the dayglow orange clashes hideously with the purple dress.
I tried to post with link, but it didn’t make it up.
Daily Mail has pics of her shoes with the price tags still on the bottom…and Ms. Perfect has the nastiest flaky callous feet ever. Nice to know Ms. Perfect is human, after all.
Silly you. If you’d only just whip out your colowheel, you’d see that purple and orange are opposites. So they go together. Just like red and green, etc.
Actually purple and yellow are complementary colors. Blue is the opposite of orange.
OK, sure. And purple is red and blue, and orange is red and yellow. They still look fab together. 🙂
The reason Goop didn’t talk to Stacy and Kim Peasant is because they were probably the hired help. She probably paid them their appearance fees and that is why they are there.
As long as this is not a Goop ditching out advice article I’m good but I still want to lay hands on her.
She loves to listen to hip hop when Chris is not around (which is ptobably most of the time) I wonder if it’s Jay-Z. I can just see Goop in the kitchen bobbing her head up and down to “I Got 99 Problems But A B-tch ain’t One or
-iggas in Paris.”
The dress is too short. Any slight bend at the waist, and she’d flash ya for sure. It’s not that it’s not cute, it is, but a lady should be able to bend to take her seat and not risk showing her bits to the whole world.
Imma say it. Kim Kardashian looks good here. Heck, she looks better than GOOP.
Yep.
WHAT THE WHAT
How great does Kim look?
Wow! I thought I would never said I love what Kim is wearing.
Math problem:
Gwynnie has 10 vats of bleach. Her fame-hungry friend, Tracy, needs 6 vats of bleach to dye her unfortunate hair before she attends her flagship gym opening. Gwynnie needs only 5 vats to dye her hair before the same event. How many vats of bleach can Gwynnie unselfishly give her friend Tracy in her time of need while still having enough whitening power to nuke her own locks? How many vats does Tracy still need because Gwynnie would never put a friend’s needs before her own? (Be sure and show your work.)
Slow clap, Dirtnap. 😉
Kim Kardashian looks pretty good in this photo. As for Gwyneth’s dress — not a big fan of that shade of purple. I firmly believe that color should be reserved only for party balloons and lollipops.
Can GOOP do a nude coffee table book or something already? She seems like that girl, you know the one, who figured something out and now must turn every chat or hangout into how fucking amaaaaazing it is to not eat sugar and water filtered through a yak’s coat is just, oh my god, so amazing for your AHAs or some shit, and my god my thighs are so strong now Chris just loves it. Do the classy strip job pictorial with Annie Leibovitz and get the damn ass-kissy headlines of “can you believe this is a mom of two in her forties!!!!!ZOMG” done already. This veering to trashy/trendy from the Formerly Modest Ac-TOR Who Does Serious Projects is some Matrix-level shit.
Guys, I’m cranky, can you tell?
your response seems perfectly natural considering the subject matter! 👿
You’re also funny as hell. Great post. 😀
whatever happened to the gym they opened together in NYC?!?!?! oops!
KK looks great for KK.
goop tries hard and fails hard.
mutton dressed as lamb.
if you have to suck your gut in when posing for pictures your dress is too damn tight.
Donatella Versace is a personal trainer now?
Loo Loo wins the day!
Goop’s dress isn’t bad, but I don’t like the shoes and it looks like she’s having trouble walking in them. She and Tracey should take a page out of Keibler’s book and ditch the brassy white-yellow blonde for a warmer shade.
I actually love her shoes. Color and all and I think they go great with the dress. Goopy got some killer legs and a great body. I agree with the blond being too bright. She should tone it down a bit. Can’t wait for Iron Man 3!
OMG what is wrong with Tracy’s face
Exactly what I was thinking – she looks like a man – or a really short tranny at best. Not good.
It seems to me that some of the pics are taken from a weird angle so the ‘subject’ looked slimmer, see pic no 5 for example. There are several pics like them online. Maybe it’s just my impression though.
Tracy A looks horrible, enough said.
I am 4 days into the Tracy Anderson 30 Day method and it is hardcore. My legs are super sore, but I bet I will drop a few pounds by the end of this month, just in time for my brother’s wedding early next month. I did it for a while a couple of years ago and saw great results, over a longer period of time, and eating what I wanted. Now I am a little older, and being a tad stricter with what I eat. Plus, a couple of my pregnant friends did her pregnancy DVDs and dropped their baby weight in 5 weeks – it was CRAZY how fast they bounced back, but one friend said part of it was breast feeding. Got to give credit where credit is due! Took my measurements on 4/1/13 and will re-take them on 5/1/13.
I tried her method myself – the mat work and the post pregnancy DVD. Those do work and as you said, where credit is due….
That aside, I believe she’s getting phonier and phonier. And the way she bashes (fat?) women and their bodies, nothing short of being a bully. But then, who would want to look like her? Really. I mean, really.
IMO Pilates is much much better then her method, it is more challenging but the results are WOW.
The funny thing is, she makes those rude, unnecessary comments about people being “fat” and has made all her money from working in the fitness industry, when the reality is she’s a naturally thin woman who doesn’t look like she’s actually exercised a day in her life.
I agree. I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t look at her and see fitness instructor. I see a small woman with big boobs. Jillian Michaels, Amy Dixon, etc. look very toned and in shape in non-workout gear. Hmmm…
“As you can imagine, Gwyneth did NOT deign to pose for photos with either Stacy or Kim.” Thank you, GOOP! hahaha
ps: update –> But Stacy published a photo with GOOP on her instagram. GOOP is so humble to take a photo with George’s girl…
Goop looks like she just farted in the 1st pic.
Tut tut. Everyone knows perfectly well that Goop does not do that. If on occasion she gets *ahem* gas, it simply transforms into a flutter of sweet baby butterflies who wend their way towards Heaven.
Kim looks nice and she doesn’t look that big (even though she may be hiding something ’round back). That’s what I never understand, in pap pics where she’s alone, she looks pretty “wide” but here, standing next to Tracy, they don’t look that different, in terms of size.
Can clothes make THAT big of a difference? Or is it how she’s standing? Hmmmm…
Kim and Tracey’s lips…..so pouty and matchy matchy, they share the same plastic surgeon? Also have to admit Gwyneth’s legs looked pretty amazing
TA’s face is so jacked and tight and painful looking. It looks like if she tried to smile, it would split in half. Stop tanning, for the love of God.
is it gross that all these women are OBSSESSED so much over their fitness/looks that they appear to be dragging women down?
over botoxed, over lip injected, air tanned, excersized, vomited/starved…
i’m not taking away from beauty/fitness but …esp w goopy and her frankenstein-look alike trainer…it’s creepy.
stacey looks better than all of them because she appears the least artificial ingredients.
along w/ real housewives, i compare these woma (and above) to real, ‘peasanty’ working folk like us and honestly, i think we’re more beautiful n’ feminine than those gals.
real is beautiful…artificial/obsessedd is…gross
Her dress is adorable but it needs to be about 6 inches longer because this short, it looks like she should be ice skating or something. Hate the shoes.
Tracy must be really short because even KK is taller than her! KK looks good and Goop’s skin looks bad.
Tracy Anderson looks like a T-Rex. Nothing about her is attractive. Blegh.
I don’t mind the dress, but her shoes…and I do not think her legs look good at all (the shape of them). I’m glad there’s not a photo of Tracy standing next to Stacey; can you imagine how she short she’d look then. Stacey’s the one with the great legs…it’s a bad day when KK comes home on the best dressed train…I can just see Goop rapping – not. Doesn’t she have any girlfriends left? Seems like everyone is getting tired of her.
Fishstick does not look good in those short little flouncy dresses contrary to what she obviously thinks. She is too angular and horse-y looking to pull of flounces or anything ultra fem. She looks the best in tailored clothes…blazers and stuff like that. Also it is screamingly obvious that she is trying to show off her legs. Not subtle at all Goopy/We get it even though we don’t want it.
Ah! Gwyneth looks exactly like a real doll in that first photo!
Tracey looks like she gathered the stray hairs from Gwyenth’s brushes, fashioned them into a tiny mop, and had it glued to her bald head!
These two are just the worst.
Ha…almost made it through an entire article about GP withouth using the word deign.
Come on, I know you can do it.
LOL! Tracy looks like a gremlin, or a muppet–like the female lead from the Dark Crystal!
Stacy looks great.
Are Goop et al a different species than Stacy or perhaps they were created on a 3D printer?
Kaiser, Gywnnie DID in fact take a picture with the Kiebs. Stacy just posted in her Instagram today 😀
but just on instagram’s stacy !! because there is not others pics together in the net !!why ?
there is a picture inside but not before photographers
They both look like they’re desperately trying to hold on to their youth.
Fried, bleached hair. Exercise overload making them look hard and manly.
Just stop fighting it already.
TA looks terrible. After a certain age, your hair should not be lighter than your skin, especially not skin like that. Mr. Sun has not been kind.
Paltrow’s sucking in that stomach as hard as she can. Not that she needs to — she has a nice figure — but the dress is a size too small.
Tracy Anderson is a troll doll in the photo with Paltrow’s arm around her waist.
Kim Kardashian looks really nice here. The greasy pulled back hair look was never flattering on her — she looks great with bangs. I think she’s stopped jacking up her face, too.
Stacy Keibler’s look is very polished.
I don’t know what to say about Gwyneth, except to say that I was a little shocked to see a picture of her 8 year old girl obviously sucking her thumb, as Gwyneth held her hand while walking in a street.
Sucking her thumb at 8?
Perhaps Gwyneth should be focusing more on her parenting skills than offering exuberant and unrealistic ‘tips’ on shopping and cooking. A child sucking their thumb at 8 is never a good sign.
This woman is so narcissistic, she is nauseating.
I don’t care how thin these women are (Anderson and Paltrow) or how many designer size 0 dresses they can fit into. It still doesn’t make them attractive.
Chris Martin was actually there. He just didnt walk the red carpet. He never does.
Cute or tragic? I would say desperate is the right adjective.
Cute dress and I love the shoes.
Gwyn’s shoes are killer. Tracy looks HORRIBLE. Frownie lines all OVER her face, and those tiny penciled in harsh eyes?? Plus she’s got about 10 lbs of fake boobage going on. She is finally looking like the fake trash that she is.
Love the purple dress. The shape is a classic. The shoes are are cute and go well with with the dress and are a refreshing change from black or nude shoes. It’s a fun outfit.
Wow! Kim looks great here, and her standing next to Tracy, maybe she’s not as big as we think lol she looks pretty small here
…miss THIS? Dirty, skanky feet and she left the labels on the shoes!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2304344/Leggy-Gwyneth-Paltrow-shows-perfect-figure-pair-killer-heels–shouldnt-taken-label-first.html
Ew. Stars…they’re just like us!
I would think with her money and access to amazing beauty treatments, Gwynnie would have beautiful, baby’s-butt-soft feet.
Goop thinks shes a rapper now girl please the only thing u can rap is present with $50 wrapping paper. Hip hop was never about being a bougie stuck elitist snob. It was about growing up in the hood. The only hood goop grow up is a hooded cashmere sweater that cost $500.
Tracy Anderson looks like a character from the movie dark crystal …I think that’s the name
Could someone tell me what the big deal about GP is?
Tracy and her sidekicks are starting to look scary skinny and ugly with the tanned skin and stringy blond hair. Oh yes, and now botox. (Just wait 20 years, hoo boy will they look awful). Yuckety, yuck, yuck yuck.