With the notable exceptions of Cameron Diaz and Celine Dion, most of the women with bad hair and makeup wore risky dresses that they managed to look pretty good in from the neck down.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s peach-colored Zach Posen tulle and chiffon gown is complicated but flatters her figure well. It looks like she did her hair and makeup herself, though, as she has the same weighed-down too-long straight hair that she’s always seen with lately, and her lips are too red for her pastel-colored dress.

Like Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst is also wearing bright red lipstick with a neutral gown. Red lips are not in this season. It seems like they both just chose their lipstick color using the old “red lipstick for special events” rule that no longer applies. Dunst’s hair was pulled back with plain straight bangs stuck on her forehead. Dust is seen with her 19 year-old brother, Christian. Her dress is a little much with the feathers on the bottom sides, but the top part is decent. I have not been able to identify the designer. Her dress is vintage Chanel.

Cameron Diaz’s bleeding blue eye shadow with too much black eyeliner, dirty brown skin, and sloppy hair are just terrible. She should fire her stylist, hair and makeup people.

Jessica Biel’s curly upswept ‘do gave her hair a frizzy look that didn’t suit her. She wore a pink Oscar de la Renta gown with a black belt and seems to have neglected to apply those sticky things you put over your nipples to keep them from showing through sheer fabric. Her makeup is fine, though.

Eva Green loves the goth look, but it just seems out of place at the Oscars. Her straight hair with a puff crown wasn’t as bad as it’s been in the Bride of Frankenstein past, but I don’t like her smoky creepy eyes. Let me know if you think she pulls it off. Her gauzy dress is not my taste, but it’s not awful either.

Celine Dion’s drab hair drags her down in a too-loose green draped dress that makes her look skinnier than usual. Her makeup seenms cheap with light bronze eyeshadow that’s not blended well, and heavily applied, clumpy mascara.

John Travolta’s spray on hair and too-light foundation coupled with black eyeliner applied to the membranes of his eyes make his the worst makeup of the night.

Update I just realized that Rachel Weisz had dark red lips that she managed to make work. Her dress was silver, though, not pastel, and her lips were a darker red than Dunst and Paltrow, who wore a brighter color. Dunst’s dress is vintage Chanel.