Poor sucky baby. Poor Chris Brown. Y’all are a bunch of haters trying to destroy gentle Breezy. So poor sucky baby had to go into rehab after he and his bodyguard put the beat down on some random dude in Washington, DC. I guess we have to give Sucky Baby a slow-clap – a rehab stay for “anger management” is actually preferable than Breezy sitting around LA, free as a bird, getting high and giving interviews about how brilliant he is. Right? Well, now TMZ reports that we’re going to be free of Breezy for three whole months!!! WOW.

Chris Brown will spend up to 3 MONTHS in a Malibu rehab joint for his anger problems … TMZ has learned.

Sources connected to the singer tell TMZ … there has been no firm decision on the precise length of time Brown will stay, but everyone in Brown’s camp — including Brown himself — is open to as much as 3 months.

One source put it this way … “The rehab facility has been told to take him [Brown] apart and put him back together.”

As TMZ first reported … Brown is specifically getting treatment for his anger problem, which manifested itself last weekend when he was arrested for allegedly punching a guy in the face.

And, as we previously reported, Brown’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, knows it’s very likely the judge in the Rihanna case will revoke Brown’s probation, which could put him behind prison bars for up to 4 years. The rehab move is an act of good faith, showing Brown is dealing with his problems.

[From TMZ]

Ah, he’s “open to as much as 3 months.” That means he’ll leave whenever he wants to leave, which I predict will be in less than a month. Unless the “racist DA” tries to put poor, gentle Breezy in jail or something. Because let’s face it, this is only about his probation in California. As for this idea that you can check yourself into a Malibu spa, er, I mean “rehab” for anger management… well, I think Chris’s treatment will probably be less intensive than whatever Lindsay Lohan got, which is to say… I have no expectations. Radar claims Chris is really trying to get with the program though:

Chris Brown checked into rehab on Tuesday night to “gain focus and insight into his past behavior” and now RadarOnline.com can reveal that worried family and friends encouraged him too because he had not “cured the pain” of the past. Following his latest brush with the law, the friends suggested he needed help.

“He’s a good kid, but he needs therapy,” one source revealed. “He had a tough childhood and is still holding onto that anger from his past.”

At a young age, his parents had divorced. He later witnessed his mother become a victim of domestic violence, once telling MTV that his mother’s abuse was “an influence in me about how to treat a woman.”

“All these ‘yes’ people aren’t looking out for Chris’ best interests. He’s going to keep landing in trouble if he doesn’t let go of these bad influences.”

[From Radar]

Blah, whatever. If someone actually tries to sit down and do intensive talk therapy with Breezy, it’s not going to end well. Chris thinks it’s some “gay sh-t” when a dude photo-bombs him. What will his reaction be when someone asks about his feelings?

Photos courtesy of WENN.