How can you even sit there, acting as if your world hadn’t been destroyed by the news of Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison’s separation? How do we even go on? How do we function as a society knowing that love has died and then a creepy old guy came around and banged love’s corpse? Because that’s exactly what happened. Alright, I might have mixed up my metaphors. Anyway, yesterday Courtney and Doug finally confirmed – in an exclusive with The Daily Mail – that they are officially done. NOOOooooo.

Green Mile star Doug Hutchison and his teen bride Courtney Stodden have confirmed they are to divorce after two-and-a-half years of marriage. The couple told MailOnline in a statement that they have decided to become ‘legally separated’ – but that Doug, 53, will still play a role in 19-year-old Courtney’s career as co-manager alongside her mother Krista.

Courtney recently appeared on Celebrity Big Brother UK – and sources previously told MailOnline the reality show was the beginning of the end for the controversial pair. The aspiring Hollywood starlet flirted outrageously with fellow contestant Mario Falcone on the Channel 5 show – and admitted to feeling more independent from Doug, who did not enter the house with her.

In a statement released on Tuesday, the couple insisted the split was ‘amicable’ and the decision was mutual.

It read: ‘After two and a half years of marriage, Courtney and Doug have decided to become legally separated. Courtney was married at a young age. Now, at nineteen, she’s interested in exploring life as an unmarried single young adult – with the freedom to explore her independence. Doug supports Courtney 100 per cent. The two will share custody of their precious pup, Dourtney, remain living in the same house [for now] in separate bedrooms, and Doug will be co-managing Courtney’s career. We love each other very much, want for each other’s happiness, and will continue being the best of friends for life.’

Last week MailOnline reported the pair had split, the day after Courtney threw a Halloween party without him at their Hollywood Hills home. And back in August MailOnline revealed how Doug freaked out and became concerned Courtney might leave him after she flirted with fellow Celebrity Big Brother contestant Mario Falcone, 25.

In one episode they were both tied together for a task and cameras caught them caressing each other’s hands. An insider told MailOnline at the time: ‘Courtney has changed so much since being in that house. She is more independent and just wants to have fun like any 19 year old.’

[From The Mail]

First of all, how am I just learning right now that they have a dog named DOURTNEY?!?! OMG. And now we know that they will share custody of Dourtney. *breathes into bag* Poor Dourtney. As for the ham-fisted explanation for why they’re splitting… “Courtney was married at a young age. Now, at nineteen, she’s interested in exploring life as an unmarried single young adult.” YA THINK? You mean it was a bad idea for a mother to sell her 16-year-old daughter to a creepy old man? You mean that this marriage was NOT destined to fail almost immediately? You’re sh-tting me.

Last thing – this “Mario” person… is that the guy in these photos?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.