Yesterday, we discussed the situation with Tom Daley. Daley came out as bisexual earlier this week, and days after that, sources revealed that Daley, 19, is currently in a relationship with Dustin Lance Black, a 39-year-old Oscar-winning screenwriter (he won for Milk, which is a really great screenplay). As I said yesterday, it’s great that Tom came out, but I do take issue with the twenty-year age difference in dating, especially when the age difference is so stark that you have a nearly 40-year-old dating a teenager.
Incidentally, I should clarify my acceptance for Tom’s bisexuality – if he self-identifies as bisexual and insists that he “still fancies girls,” then so be it. The minor shade I threw was regarding Tom’s boy-band-esque Teen Beat image, which appeals to young girls. I think it’s possible (and even probable) that Tom’s management wants him to say that he’s bisexual and still into girls because it will be better for his image. Like, it’s comparable to the Ricky Martin situation – Ricky first eased his mostly-female fanbase into the idea of his bisexuality, then he eventually came out as a gay man.
Anyway, Tom has been giving interviews all week and I’m pleased to see that the news of his bisexuality has been met with overwhelming support. He sat down with Jonathan Ross to describe his relationship with Dustin (although Tom doesn’t name him), and as Michael K said, it’s like Tom is living life through Taylor Swift lyrics.
Tom Daley is in happily in love! Us Weekly revealed on Wednesday, Dec. 4 that the 19-year-old British Olympic diver is dating 39-year-old screenwriter Dustin Lance Black. During an interview on The Jonathan Ross Show — airing Saturday, Dec. 7 — Daley wasn’t ready to mention his new boyfriend by name, but gladly shared details about how they met.
“I’d never felt like anything like it before,” Daley shared. “We were at a party and I hadn’t even spoken to him all night. I didn’t know what to do or if he was gay at first.”
Eventually working up the courage, the athlete decided to make the first move. “I typed ‘call me’ in his notes with a smiley face on this phone and the next day he texted,” he recalled. “He makes me feel safe and happy, right now I couldn’t be happier.”
And the feeling of love at first sight seemed to be mutual. “I’d never felt the feeling of love, it happened so quickly. I was completely overwhelmed by it to the point I can’t get him out of my head all the time,” Daley said. “I’ve never had it before where I love someone and they love me just as much.”
Daley refused, however, to mention his new Oscar-winning boyfriend by name. “At the moment, I wouldn’t like anything to change,” he explained. “I hope it doesn’t get ruined by the media attention. Everyone has been so supportive and I hope it continues that way.”
Daley came out as bisexual in a YouTube video on Monday, Dec. 2. “My life changed massively when I met someone, and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great,” he shared with his fans in the tape. “That someone is a guy. It did take me by surprise a little bit.”
Daley explained on The Jonathan Ross Show that he didn’t come out with his sexuality right away. He first told a close friend before deciding to make the YouTube video.
“It felt like a dirty little secret, it felt like I had chains wrapped around me, I couldn’t be who I was, I felt alone and trapped. Just telling one person made me feel so much better, just that one person took a weight off my shoulder. I told Sophie my best friend first as I knew she’d be really accepting of it. She’s been so supportive and there for me. Now that everyone knows, I have nothing to hide, those chains that I felt wrapped around me are gone and I can carry on with my life as normal and be happy.”
“I felt like there was something wrong with me, I didn’t know other people out there felt that way, I felt so alone, so locked away and couldn’t say anything. Tell one person. Tell your story, how you feel. I’ve had people send some lovely Twitter messages with people telling me they’ve since come out to their parents, that they’ve had some hope, it shouldn’t matter who I’m dating in this day and age. Be who you want to be.”
[From Us Weekly and Towleroad]
He made the first move on a 39-year-old man? It could happen. British boys are so forward, that’s one of the reasons why I love them so. During the Ross interview, Daley also said that he doesn’t even want to put the “bisexual” label on himself: “Everything is all pretty new so I don’t see any point in putting a label on it – gay, bi, straight, any of those kind of labels. All that I feel happy about at the moment is that I’m dating a guy and couldn’t be happier, it shouldn’t matter who I’m dating and I hope people can be happy for me.”
Daley also spoke about training for Rio in 2016 – he’ll be 22 and he says that’s the age most divers peak. You can read more from the interview here.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
His boyfriend looks all of 23, though.
I agree, he had to have been told that saying he’s Bi would read better with all the tween girls who like him.
I’m focusing on the blank space between their pictures and squinting to “see” them together. They must look so cute as a couple.
I never know how to react when someone famous gushes over their significant other. I can’t tell who they are trying to convice themselves, the other person, or the public. Also, who cares if he’s gay or bi.
For me, it’s not so much about the age difference as it is about the fact that Tom’s 19. Nineteen. Like, young enough to have homework. 49 and 29 sounds ok, because a 29 year old is a full-grown adult, but 39 and 19 is a bit sketchy to me. Same feeling I had about Sam Taylor-Wood and Aaron Johnson. I felt it was kinda weird that she got involved with him when he was barely legal.
Anyhow, if Tom is happy, then all I can say is congrats, have fun, and good luck.
I thought nineteen sounded so young for love too, but then I was reminded that my father was nineteen when he met and married my mother (who was sixteen). They are still married nearly 40 years later!! It can happen at any age.
I think Tom would be mature for his age because of the training and discipline of his sport. So long as they are both happy, its all good!
Well 19 and 16 is a little different. I’m only 26 and I can’t even imagine dating someone that still has a “teen” listed in their age. I can’t even imagine dating someone that can’t legally drink (per US age limits). I’m not saying that their love isn’t genuine, but that large of an age difference will always raise eyebrows (especially with someone so young).
Sorry HH, my point was to Drea that it is possible to find love when you are only 19 (or 16 in my mother’s case) even though it sounds so young. I wasn’t referring to age gaps at all! However I agree that a big age gap like 20 years is much more noticeable the younger the couple are.
I just imagine Tom as a baby in his crib and 20 yr old Dustin saying “I’ll come back in around 20 years and hit on that”. Creeeeeeeeepy…..
Tom has never said he was Bisexual so Im confused why websites keep saying he is Bisexual.Same goes for singer Frank Ocean he has NEVER said he was bisexual.Yet websites continue to label him as bisexual.In Frank’s case several of his friends have publicly described him as Gay.Including his “brother” Tyler on the Arsenio Hall Show.
Please explain to me why people are labeling these Guys as bisexual.
I think it’s PR, their folks are afraid for them to come out fully gay and chase away the female fans. Or, they might actually be bisexual. (I’m not a lot of help, sorry)
yeah talking about PR, I really think he’s been coached with this whole coming out process. I mean the whole : “I felt like there was something wrong with me, I didn’t know other people out there felt that way, I felt so alone, so locked away and couldn’t say anything.”
Like really? What is this the 50s? A week doesn’t go by when some celebrity or the other big or small comes out as gay, yet he didn’t know other people felt that way? Seriously? Oh, please, stop the woe is me non sense.
His whole thing, all week long, has been to go for this sympathy vote which I really don’t understand. Some media folks have been saying it was a pre-emptive strike due to some reality competition show that he’s on that’s coming back on air soon and he wants people to keep watching, so if he goes around all maudlin he feels like he’s going to keep his viewers. I find the whole thing quite disasteful because there is something very much not honest about it all. Let alone the whole the whole “Bi” thing. Please…This is all bad PR for a TV show. Wish him all the best in his personal relationship though.
Well in Daley’s case, he says he still fancies girls in addition to being in love with this man. So if you’re going to categorise his sexuality, bisexual seems the best bet! On the other hand, it’s probably a good thing he’s not labelling himself…he’s 19 and in his first serious relationship and has a lot of growing up to do. In a few years time, he’ll probably be more aware of who he is as a person.
First of all, am I the only one who thinks he looks like the younger brother of Joey from ‘Friends’ (when the show first started)? He is adorable!! And you know, it’s so sweet that he’s so excited and happy. Yes, sometimes it’s sort of nauseating when celebs gush about their significant others, but he’s not an actor, and I have to say he comes across to me as very genuine. As for their ages, I agree with drea, that 19 to 39 is much different than 29 to 49. However, I think the one who might get hurt most at the end would be his partner, Black, who is old enough to really commit himself. Still–cheering for this relationship!!