Ben Affleck compares his manhood to Fassbender’s: funny or have several seats?

The 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards Press Room in LA
We don’t have access to all the videos from Sunday’s Producer’s Guild Awards because it wasn’t telecast, which I’m somewhat pleased about. After covering the SAGs on Saturday I felt like I needed a break from the awards shows. (I know, my job is SO HARD, right?) So it’s hard to tell how Ben Affleck delivered this line, what preceded it exactly, and how it went over with the audience. It sounds like he was just riffing off something that was already said and that it was all pretty funny and harmless, in context.

Apparently Chuck Lorre was presenting something at the PGAs and joked that he saw Ben Affleck in the urinal next to him and that he had a big d*ck. Affleck was away during those comments getting his drink on, so someone told Ben that a guy on stage claimed Ben was well endowed. Then Ben took the stage for his presenting gig, and said he heard a rumor that his manhood was praised. He was flattered, basically. Of course he was, he brought it up.

While accepting an award on stage at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, CBS mega producer Chuck Lorre said that at last week’s Golden Globe Awards, he peed at the urinal next to Affleck, telling the audience, “Yes I peeked. And yes, Comic Con, he can play Batman.”

Later in the night, Affleck took the stage to joke about his private parts.

“I was at the bar briefly, and I came back to my seat and somebody said, ‘You know, there was a guy up on stage who said you have a big d–k,’” the Oscar winner joked to the audience. “I was like, ‘You know, isn’t that always how is goes? The one time it happens and I miss it!’ Thank you very much. Whoever you are, God bless you. I’m often confused with Matt Damon but rarely with Michael Fassbender, so…”

[From E! Online]

It’s nice to hear that Ben’s mood improved on Sunday. He sure was a sourpuss the night before at the SAGs, where he had to support his wife for once instead of the other way around. He seemed miserable during the cutaways and when he presented for best cast he could barely muster a smile. I wonder what was going on with him. He might have just been high as a kite.

Anyway as far as this story goes, I can believe it. He’s a tall dude at 6’4″ so I bet everything is uh, proportionate. Plus Jennifer Garner has said Ben has “wonder sperm,” that’s all I’m saying.

But isn’t there a guy code that you’re not supposed to check out other dudes at the urinals? Even if you’re reporting favorably on them, don’t guys have a code of silence around that? I guess that doesn’t apply to celebrities.

Also, poor Michael Fassbender continues to get sexually harassed by everyone talking about his nice dong.

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner leaving the SAG awards after party

The 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards Press Room in LA

Photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

 

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94 Responses to “Ben Affleck compares his manhood to Fassbender’s: funny or have several seats?”

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  1. QQ says:

    He can have a stadium full of seats

    • Dani2 says:

      LOL! He’s SO unattractive to me, I can’t even explain how much.

    • seriously says:

      +1 billion gazillion.
      God how I loathe this overrated ‘actor’. And thanks to Chuck Lorre, I have the image of Ben Asslick with a big penis. All I can say is poor, poor Jennifer Garner. She has to see that every night, now that he’s not working.

      Where the hell is J Hamm when I need him? (I don’t think he’s really that well endowed either)

      • Tazina says:

        Ben looked quite appealing in Argo with his facial hair. It suited him. He is getting a name for himself in Hollywood for The Town, Gone Girl and Argo, all good. Plus he’s a good family man soooo not sure what he’s done wrong to incur such wrath?

        Staring at another man’s junk in a urinal and then commenting about it afterwards in the hope of getting a laugh is tacky and rude! Ben was put on the spot to make a rebuttal….

      • Kendra says:

        So is this the going thing now, guess the size of a celebrity dic*. I don’t know what the fuss about John Hamm. Any man that does not wear underwear will seem bigger in his pants. The only one I can say is a nice size for sure is M. Fassbender because he showed it to us in the movie Shame.

      • seriously says:

        @Kendra, I joke about J Hamm…I don’t care about who is a ‘biggum’ or not. Actually I think I speak for most women in that these celebs are lucky they’re aren’t picked apart as trashy hoz and narcy attention seekers. But at least J Hamm has an edginess about his acting (aside from what he does in his gf’s movies..blaeh..) than the likes of Ben Affleck…who really does NOT act well in any of the rolls he’s been in. Yes, I have seen the Town. But I refuse to see Argo or anything Ben or GEORGE CLOONEY is in for that matter.

        I wish we had better choices in male actors…like back in the day …including those who are hot and who can act of course. And no, Ben Cumber-yucky doesn’t cut it. He along with his image is annoying as it is. Sorry Cumber-bitches…(rolls eyes).

  2. Mimz says:

    I think in context it made sense… and come on, it’s Chuck Lorre, of course he said that..
    He’s known for his … peculiar sense of humor.
    I think his joke was harmless. Except that he kinda hinted that Matt isn’t well endowed so I don’t know what’s up with that (side-eye on that one).

    Ehh. Harmless.

    • Tulip Garden says:

      Agree that in context it was funny. Also don’t think he was shading Matt. I just think affleck doesn’t have a lot of fans on this site. Put Damon in his place saying this and people would just think it was funny, I think

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      @Mimz, who wrote: “I think his joke was harmless. Except that he kinda hinted that Matt isn’t well endowed so I don’t know what’s up with that (side-eye on that one).”

      Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have known each other since Ben was 8-years-old and Matt was 10-years-old. Did you see “Good Will Hunting?” I’m sure Ben and Matt shade each other good-naturedly all the time. Ben is always casting shade on Matt’s height (though I wouldn’t call 5’10″ short … Ben’s just tall as shite), so I’ll bet the ‘short’ shade at ‘little Matt’ was just more of the same good natured, bromancey shade. :)

    • Josephine says:

      I thought it was funny. I don’t get why this is a story and why people care so much.

  3. Mia4S says:

    You know if you really want us to believe the Batman backlash isn’t a problem Hollywood, I’d stop with the obsessive joking about it. You’re insecure Ben, I get it. Put up or shut up.

    I imagine the big Batman delay could have him cranky. That will cause problems for the scheduling of movies he wants to direct. Such a mess.

  4. bammer says:

    I think the dong talk was cute at first but then it got old quickly. Michael is a damn good actor so it’s silly to talk about him like he’s a porn star or some underwear model. Ben Affleck wishes he could act as well as Fassy. Or have as much fun. :)

  5. Dani says:

    If Michael didn’t want the backlash for his major dong he shouldn’t have exposed it (not that I’m complaining or anything).

    • Ice Maiden says:

      Why? The film was about a ‘sex addict’ so he wasn’t just letting it all hang out for fun. It was relevant to the film – he wasn’t posing for ‘Playgirl’ or anything. If a talented, serious female actor got naked in a film where her nudity was part of the storyline and character, would it be OK for people to make reference to her bits – even if in a jokey or complimentary way – for months afterwards? I don’t think so.

      • Dani says:

        Right I get that it was relevant to the film but be realistic for a minute, he has a pretty huge penis (come on!!!!) how does he expect people to just let it go? It was literally in your face in that shot, I’m not sure how anything else is to be expected. It’s not like anyone is shaming him, and I get that the attention is annoying but it comes with that job. Everything you do as a celebrity, nudity or not, is up for scrutiny by other actors and fans.

      • Renee28 says:

        I agree with you Ice Maiden. People were pissed off over Seth McFarlane did “We Saw Your Boobs” but 2 years later it’s still ok to make jokes about Fassbender’s penis. He’s a serious actor. I don’t think this was his goal.

      • Ice Maiden says:

        I think it would have been OK for people to make a few smutty jokes around the time the film was first released – and I think Fassbender (I’m no great fan of his btw) did deal with this in a pretty good-natured manner. But seriously, the film is two years old, and Fassbender’s just been nominated for an Oscar for his current film. Time to move on from the locker room jokes, I think. Like I said above, if, say, Cate Blancettt did a non-gratuitous nude scene in an acclaimed film, I don’t think she’d much appreciate people making jokes about it two years on.

      • Side-Eye says:

        I agree with you Ice. The constant jokes about Michael’s penis are not only tacky as hell considering the fact that he’s a phenomenal talent who should be regarded as a prime actor instead of an obnoxious genital joke, but also *nauseatingly* hypocritical.

    • V4Real says:

      I somewhat agree with Dani on this. I know the film was about a “sex addict” but there are ways of expressing that without nudity. The actor has to agree to do the nude scenes before they commit to the project. I bet someone like DDL, Denzel Washington or Tom hanks could have portrayed that same character without exposing their manhood. I saw the movie. Why was it relevant to show his penis? It’s just my opinion but I think he wanted the world to see it.

      • Ice Maiden says:

        Well, yes, it *could* have been done without full nudity. But I think the point in showing it was to show how the character’s physicality and sexuality consumed his whole being. So it certainly wasn’t gratuitous. If an actor wasn’t prepared to bare all for that particular role, then he wouldn’t be suitable. And the jokes are getting a bit tired, one year on.

      • JojoAnn says:

        The dong shot is in the opening scenes, right after the character wakes up to pee. Theres nothing in that scene that even remotely leads up to the sex addiction. The shot adds nothing to the plot or even the character, its simply some dude walking around his appartment nude. Completely gratuitous. Now, that doesnt mean that people should forever undermine his acting talent with dumb d*ck jokes.

      • Ice Maiden says:

        Very often, the opening scene of a film is to set the atmosphere, not actually start into the plot. As such, the opening scene of ”Shame” worked very well, since it established the character’s crude physicality. If you were to take the view that all scenes of sex or nudity which aren’t strictly neccessary to the plot are gratuitious, then you could say the same about almost all sex scenes outside of the porn industry. It’s very rarely absolutely neccessary to show characters nude or having sex – after all, Hollywood survived pretty well until around the 70s, before which time it was risque even to show married couples sharing a bed, let along getting up to anything in it. Plus, as LadySlipppers has said, Fassbender was an actor in the film, not a director – yes, he probably could have refused to do the scene, but probably he trusted the directorial judgement of the man who has been his mentor for years.

      • littlestar says:

        It’s funny that people are talking about the film Shame today, as I finally watched it Saturday night. Did not think the film lived up to its hype (I’m convinced the movie got such great reviews because Fassbender showed his penis full on in the movie). It was an above average movie in my opinion. Anyway, what I came here to say is that yes, I agree with you. There was no need to show his penis in the movie, as it honestly did not have much to do with the storyline of being a sex addict. I mean, they showed the women’s boobs in the movie’s many sex scenes, so why didn’t they show his penis then as well??? However, I wasn’t offended by his nudity nor was I offended by the women’s nudity in the film either.

    • Migdalia says:

      If a female didn’t want comments on her butt she shouldn’t have worn skinny jeans.

      If a female didn’t want continuing comments on her breasts she shouldn’t have worn that top.

      If a female didn’t want continuing comments on her body she shouldn’t have worn a bikini.

      Double standard indeed if a man feels at a point of being sexually harassed. It’s unnerving to see Fassbender’s comment about it being teased. If one doesn’t see it that or feels he should be bothered fine, but don’t brush off the subject’s feelings about it. You’re only facilitating the problem in society. To say this in a way to not sound funny but I’m pretty well endowed in the butt area and I’m well aware of that, but I’m so sick and tired of fielding comments/looks about it and it gets to the point where I feel harassed. Now guys says it’s a great thing, and lots of women pay for it. That doesn’t mean I should have to deal with it.

      *climbs off soapbox*sorry I had to.

    • V4Real says:

      I just wanted to let you know I wasn’t commenting on the jokes about his penis. I was just referring to Dani’s statement that he didn’t have to expose it in “Shame.” IMO I think he did it b/c he wanted that reaction (I have a big _ick, check it out). I do however believe that he has grown tired of hearing poeple continuously joke about it years later.

      @Migdalia

      There’s a difference between women wearing tight jeans and bikinis in their everyday like as compared to an actor who decided to showcase his package for the world to see for no apparant reason. Seriously would that movie have been less effective if we didn’t see his penis?

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I don’t necessarily think the movie would have been less effective but I don’t see why it’s a problem that he showed his junk, if just as a big FU to the notoriously sexist MPAA.

        The argument that ‘it wasn’t necessary’ can be easily flipped to say ‘it wasn’t unnecessary either’. McQueen thought it was important so it was in the movie, end of story. A different director might have handled that script differently. Personally, as someone who loved Shame, I can’t imagine it being filmed any differently. I took Brandon’s nudity as the physical embodiment of his emotional vulnerability. It worked for me within the context of that movie. It didn’t feel superfluous on any level, quite the contrary it felt very deliberate and intentional.
        *shrugs*

    • LadySlippers says:

      @Dani & V4Real: Steve McQueen directed the movie NOT Michael Fassbender. So obviously SM thought that having MF being nude added an element to the movie. What? I don’t know but please remember actors and actresses are not in control of the script or the movie — just their roles. Granted, MF had to agree to be nude but with the gist of your comments, it sounds to me as if you both think MF had more control over the movie than he actually did.

      • V4Real says:

        An actor does have control because if he didn’t want to show his manhood he could have walked away from the project. Don’t start crying poor Fassy, he didn’t have a choice. Yes he had a choice. Just like some models, actors and actresses can also have a clause in their contract that says no nudity.

        “So obviously SM thought that having MF being nude added an element to the movie”

        That can be said about any director who has ever had a female actress go topless in their films. Also SM could have also known that seeing a man full frontal would probably garner more attention for the film. Think about it, not many people were talking about what a great job Fassy did in the film, all we mostly heard about was his dong which led to more people seeing the film.

        The gist of my comment was that it wasn’t necessary for the film.

      • LadySlippers says:

        @V4Real, I’m not saying poor Fassy at all. A lot of actors and actresses do nude scenes in the early days of their career because they don’t have a ton of power (more true for actresses though). In that later years, it’s a whole different story. But whether MF reluctantly agreed or was totally on board — the vision still came from someone else.

        Also, I honestly don’t think nudity is ‘required’ for a lot of films. I said that McQueen saw a need for MF to be nude — not that I agreed with him. For example, ‘Thanks for Sharing’ is also about sex addiction but there are zero nude scenes. Neither Gwyneth Paltrow nor Alicia Moore (P!nk) were totally nude (you do see GP in nice underwear but it is not gratuitous). The same can be said (no nudity) for Mark Ruffalo, Tim Robbins, or Josh Gad. So a movie about sex addiction can be created w/o any nude scenes. So you and I are in agreement there.

        I do wonder if directors throw in nude male scenes simply for publicity as females in the nude are more common.

  6. Dawn says:

    Totally harmless and well sort of funny at least to me. And as far as the Matt thing goes, come on now, they have been friends for like ever and I am sure they know each other’s sense of humor better than the rest of us. Again harmless fun!

  7. Neffie says:

    I have always been team Matt Damon so charming yet so humble and brilliant actor.

  8. original kay says:

    I agree with Fassbender, in regards to his constantly discussed “endowment”.

    if someone had taken the stage and said “I saw jennifer garner in the bathroom adjusting her bra, and she has great boobs” (or something like that), would the joke be funny?

    • Happyhat says:

      Depends who said it, I guess. If it was Seth MacFarlane, then the joke wouldn’t be funny (but he’d get paid a lot of money to say it). If it was JLaw; the same.

      But…I just can’t with Affleck. South Park has pretty much made my mind up on him, both with his a**-faced parents, and “Pearl Harbour Sucked, And I Miss You”.

      • V4Real says:

        I agree it depends on who is saying it. If another actress made that comment about Jen’s boobs it would probably be less damaging. It’s coming from a woman not a man. If it was a man who made that joke people would probably be wondering what is he doing in the bathroom with Jen. Women joke about other women body parts more often than you think. I’m assuming you have seen Fashion Police? The cast from “Girls” can’t escape the jokes.

      • Happyhat says:

        @V4Real I’ve not seen Fashion Police? Are you talking in general or is there a specific show called Fashion Police? I imagine ‘Girls’ cast are ripe for the picking of such things anyway!

        But yeah…a supportive compliment from woman to woman on boobs is good, and funny (my JLaw comment was that if she’d said it, half of us would be ‘Awww how cute and supportive’ and the other half would be ‘Shut up Jen, can’t you do anything other than talk about boobs?’). A supportive compliment from a man is creepy! But vice versa – a woman complimenting a mans bits is…complicated (oh so you think about man’s bits, you’re a slut, oh you shaming a man’s bits? Good for you! And shame on you!) a man complimenting a mans bits is similarly complicated (haha! Gay! Haha – gay and there’s nothing wrong with that! haha! Gay and there’s something wrong with that and I’m going to make jokes about it!)

        I dunno what my point is though!

      • V4Real says:

        @HappyHat I’m sorry I ‘m just assuming everyone on here knows about Fashion Police. It’s a show hosted by Joan Rivers which includes co-hosts such as Kelly Osborne. They critique the fashion styles of mainly female celebrities. Usually after every big award show the following Monday FP airs to critique the fashion. They also airs pretty much every week just to talk about celeb fashion on the regular. Not only does Joan sometimes crack mean jokes about some of the celebs that comes in her line of fire, they all talk about their body parts.

  9. Seán says:

    There is indeed a guy code that you don’t stare at another man’s private parts while at the urinal but that doesn’t stop some men looking. You’ll see it just out the corner of your eye and when you turn around to look at them, they’ll look away awkwardly. It’s why I always try to pee two urinals away from someone if I can help it.

    Happy to help with the guy knowledge. *takes bow* :P

  10. Hannah says:

    Is he really 6’4”? I never knew he was that tall. Wow.

  11. yael says:

    you’d think that tall guys would be proportionate, but i’ve known at least two men who were both tall and big-framed with undersized dongs.

    and yes, it was disappointing.

  12. Penelope says:

    He always looks like he’s miserable and ever since he basically trashed Jen in his Oscar acceptance speech I’ve thought he was something of an ay-hole.

  13. Myrto says:

    Ugh. I may be alone in this but I hate penis jokes ( or any joke having to do with private parts, bodily functions, etc.). It’s basic frat boy humor and I wish comedians/actors presenting awards would stop. And it’s not just men making those jokes, it’s women as well unfortunately (Tina and Amy made one of those jokes at the Golden Globes).
    It’s not funny, it’s tacky and it always makes me cringe. But considering the prevalence of those jokes, I’m guessing most people find them funny.

    • Happyhat says:

      I find them pretty cheap – but sometimes funny. But I know how you feel. It’s like…really? Do we all have to do this? And I have a pretty crass offensive sense of humour. I love Family Guy. But, unless it’s particularly witty…my heart mostly sinks when I hear penis/vagina/fart jokes. It’s like…ugh…

      • Tig says:

        I am so happy to hear you guys say this! Me too- seems that Chuck Lorre can’t stop producing the 2 1/2 Men garbage even when he’s not there. Why even try this at an awards show? It’s not witty at all.

        Re Fassbender- I saw “Shame”- he was very good in that role, but really didn’t see what all the fuss was about re his “member”. Reminded me of the full frontal shot of Richard Gere in American Gigolo all those many years ago!

  14. GeeMoney says:

    I would say to Affleck “Whip it out and let us be the judge between you and Fassy”

    :) :) :)

  15. Zana says:

    Now we know the real reason JG will never leave him :)

  16. Marty says:

    Hmmm… I’ve found that men who joke about how big they are, are either insecure or seriously lacking. Ben seems like he’s insecure about everything.

  17. Lipsy says:

    Um only thing I take away from this article is that I didn’t know he was 6’4… he’s so big-headed that I thought he was stockier! I can’t imagine how big his head is IRL (I literally mean the size of his head, not his ego lol)

  18. MrsBPitt says:

    I can’t believe all the hate on Ben for this! Chuck Lorre is the one who made the comment about Ben’s penis…Ben was merely joking back and being a good sport about it. Also, if you look at the pictures of the SAG awards…Ben was laughing and talking to everyone…He can’t be smiling every second! Jeez…I don’t get all the crap Ben gets…I love him!!!! Good looking, funny, talented director, He’s been married for years and has three kids…was there a time years ago, when Ben was living large…yes…but, just like everyone says about Angelina Jolie, people grow and change…

  19. Leah says:

    Have the whole row of seats. He is not hot at all. Even though Ben is more classically handsome, Matt Damon was always sexier and more charismatic.

  20. TSwise says:

    He was just joking about a comment that someone else made about him having a big dick.. it’s not like he got up there and just started talking about his penis with no provocation. I don’t know why this website is so determined to make something out of nothing when it comes to this guy.

  21. The Original Mia says:

    I must be a size queen because I’m still as unimpressed with Fassy’s dong as I was the first time I saw it. It’s a nice size, but if that’s the biggest Hollywood has seen, they need to get out more.

    I am loving all the Batman backlash. Loving it. Taking Henry’s starring vehicle and turning it into a vanity project for Ben is ridiculous. So, all the shade being thrown the egomaniac’s way is delicious.

    • LadySlippers says:

      TOM, I felt the same when Tom Hiddleston’s dong pics were circulating. To me, flaccid don’t mean nothin’ so I just don’t care.

      I’m more interested in the *type* of man he is and whether he knows what to do with himself (and by that I mean his whole body and mind) in bed — not just one part.

  22. PinkyTuscadero says:

    i dunno about his one-eyed snake but i do know about another eye: that droopy botox left eye he’s rockin underneath his plugs

  23. Cali says:

    Apparently Fassbender has left an impression on hollywood men. They keep referencing his dong. The jokes are getting boring – move on!!

  24. idontknowyouyoudontknowme says:

    Might have been already said but.. height has NO RELATION to d..ck size. I had multiple 6’4-%15 guys who were just average.. and some average height ones (5’10-5’11 who were really packing :)

  25. katy says:

    I don’t think BA is big guy. Seriously! just look at him. The joke is a fake set up probably by both to give him something to talk about his batman backslash. The good thing is the women he has been with are not the types to commit for the time being and who talk below the belt after.

  26. Sal says:

    What? What is so wrong with what Affleck said? It seems he was self-deprecating, so why would he need seats? At least he isn’t ugly like Fassbender. Ben is hot *and* with a big one. Bonus!

  27. Meanchick says:

    I tend to think that boys who talk about it, cannot BE about it.

  28. Lena says:

    Yes, He is a tall dude, taller by a head than 6′ Brad Pitt, whom he gave an award to. And Obviously it was a joke, on both parts. I sincerely doubt it was “set up” like the poster above said.
    It’s difficult when all the news comes to you third hand to make a judgement. You need to see it for yourself:
    http://www.wearemoviegeeks.com/2014/01/ben-affleck-chuck-lorre-producers-guild-awards-video/