Well, it looks like Ellen Page really was NOT banging Alexander Skarsgard after all. Huh. On Friday, Ellen attended the Time to THRIVE conference (which supports LGBT youths), and during her emotional speech, she came out. I guess this is breaking news, although many people did assume/know about her sexuality before now. Here’s the video of the speech – I don’t know why the sound quality is so crappy, but you’ll probably have to turn up the volume:
Ellen, 27, says, in part:
“I’m here today because I am gay. And because maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility…. I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I’m standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain. It’s weird because here I am, an actress, representing — at least in some sense — an industry that places crushing standards on all of us. Not just young people, but everyone. Standards of beauty. Of a good life. Of success. Standards that, I hate to admit, have affected me. You have ideas planted in your head, thoughts you never had before, that tell you how you have to act, how you have to dress and who you have to be. I have been trying to push back, to be authentic, to follow my heart, but it can be hard.”
She also talks about gender stereotypes and how she understands that she’s a part of an industry that perpetuated those stereotypes and standards of beauty. She gives a shout-out to Michael Sam, the college football star who came out last week.
I’m happy for Ellen and I’m glad she finally publicly confirmed her sexuality. Not that it’s any of my business, but at least now we can stop trying to fix her up with Skarsgard.
PS… Incidentally, I’m super-excited because my state has become one of the new post-DOMA states to kind of/sort of legalize gay marriage. A federal judge threw out Virginia’s long-standing gay marriage “ban” following the precedence of last year’s Supreme Court rulings overturning DOMA and California’s Prop 8. HUZZAH! Ellen should come and get married in Virginia. Virginia is for [same-sex] lovers.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I hate that people should feel they have to confirm their sexual preference, but I applaud her because she knows this will help others.
Based on her speech, I think this will also help HER. The thing is, it’s a lot of work to hide who you are. It’s exhausting to dance around pronouns and it’s isolating to feel like you can’t have the person you love support you at major events. It can be like the reverse of that old adage about acting happy until you feel happy; even if you don’t feel any personal shame about it, you can internalize that shame just by staying silent and “lying by omission” as she says.
We all come out about how relationships in tiny ways every day. By holding our partner’s hand or referring to them in passing while telling a story to an acquaintance. I really like that there are celebrities, like Jim Parsons, who have been able to come out in a way that is as much of a non-event as the fact itself. But for others, it may feel important to have their coming out be as big and as loud as the pain that hiding it has caused them. So congrats to Ellen on speaking her truth in whatever way she felt best and for being such an eloquent lady in spite of all of the nerves and fear.
Yes, I can attest to that lying by omission can really affect your mental health. I am not gay but I had a female boss who was but she pretended that she wasn’t. Pretty much everyone knew it or guessed that she was but she kept up a front. I was her assistant and her partner called all the time, etc. Anyway this woman was top in her profession and I understand why she did what she did but I think living that lie affected her mental health. Everyone called her crazy and mean and she was. I was in a very unhealthy work relationship with her as well due to the pressure to always seem devoted, etc. In fact the only one in the department who was allowed to have kids was her star pet attorney and she celebrated his daughter, but god forbid I ever wanted to start a family. She was the kind of boss who thought having a family would take away from your devotion to work (her) so when I got married and moved much further away from work I didn’t tell her. That started my own mental health downfall. Having to lie directly or by omission was overwhelming to me. Praying to God that there would never be a major traffic accident on 66 (VA) that would keep me from arriving to work on time. Sitting in 3 hours of traffic because of a snowstorm and having to pretend I got home quickly and didn’t slip on any ice, etc. So it is interesting that both of us were in these pretend situations. I haven’t gone into all the details about this woman but believe me I am not the only one with this opinion. Other attorneys and staff felt the same way about her. She had many people feeling awful about themselves. I think because of my own sitaution I was able to see why she was the way she was and had some sympathy for her. But, it eventually got too much for me to handle and I left the job. There were also other facors affecting my decision to leave, but working with her was the biggest reason. It was nice to start fresh and not have to pretend I lived close by or that I wasn’t married. Also, it was nice to be able to have a child and not worry about being judged for it.
@TG
Sometimes people are just crazy and mean, b/c that’s who they truly are. I don’t see how her being gay and not telling anyone directly contributed to that.
Sure, hiding who you are can affect you, but not everyone is mean like that due to their sexuality. Perhaps she had some other things going on on her life that you didn’t know about that were responsible for her behavior.
“The thing is, it’s a lot of work to hide who you are. It’s exhausting to dance around pronouns and it’s isolating to feel like you can’t have the person you love support you at major events.”
True. I had deep down suspected that I was bisexual since middle school, but didn’t fully admit it to myself until I was 15 and had my first relationship. We’re friends and have been together on and off over the years. I’m out with some of my family members who love me unconditionally and two of my friends, but I’m keeping it from the family members who would be more judgmental. Even though my sexual attraction to guys is stronger than my attraction to girls, this girl and I will always have a strong emotional connection. We hid our relationship with our friendship. There’s definitely a bit of a safety net that comes with people thinking you’re heterosexual.
TG, I’m so sorry you had a shitty Gay Boss.
Gee Money’s right.
You can be a right asshole no matter where you shop downtown.
@Leila, Nice to see you Girl! *waves with my whole arm like a windshield wiper*
It’s a real drag to have to hide who you are, Leila. I guess you’re one of the ‘lucky’ ones.
You can go about your life under the radar of the “Hate the Sin, Love The Sinner” Smilin’ in Your Face Backstabbers a preachin’ TOLERANCE.
Even if our lives depended on it, some of us could NEVER pass.
When comes to the nuanced spectrum of sexuality, I’m a FIRM believer that most all of us so called heterosexuals fall between a ‘1’ and a ‘2’ fall on the Kinsey Scale. – http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-hhscale.html
*off to test my hypothesis*
Lee that is a lovely sentiment. I saw people posting on facebook when Michael Sams came out, commenting about how they don’t care what he does in his personal life as long as he can win games, blah, blah, blah, and they didn’t understand this trend of “coming out.” Just live your lives, they say. And I wanted to explain to them WHY it’s such a big deal for people to stand up and say “I’m gay,” but I couldn’t find the words. You put it into words perfectly though. Thanks.
Ellen P is so adorably cute! LUVS HER!
Uh, this is kinda old news. “Ellen Turns into a Sexy Lesbian SNL – http://www.justjared.com/2008/03/02/ellen-page-lesbian-snl-rumors/
I hope now she’ll get hired all over the place for the Silver Screen’s most juicy roles! Especially with Linda Cardellinii! – http://www.justjared.com/2013/02/23/ellen-page-linda-cardellini-independent-spirit-awards-2013/
I thought there was an off chance she was bi. She’s talked about dating guys before. Glad she cleared the air so I can stop setting her up with AS too, lol. Do your thing, Ellen.
Ellen looks good here.
Good for her for doing what she wanted to do, be honest about her life. I can imagine it’s exhausting to have to hide what you are, even by omission.
I wish we would get to a point where people are just accepted for who they are and no one had to publicly claim their sexuality. Maybe by the time I die.
Her speech blew me away. She’s a lovely, intelligent, eloquent woman. Well done, Ellen.
I love her because she doesn’t waffle. She reads books, she cares about intelligence and growth, she knows how toxic Hollywood is and and tries her hardest to not become Hollywood, she doesn’t give boring interviews and doesn’t shy away from discussing heavy topics. I love her!!! I kinda believed she was dating ASkars, they oddly fit together.
Her speech was amazing and I got so many feels about it, she was so nervous and emotional.
I didn’t even care about her sexuality, she’s cool and sexy and I would date her if I had the chance. I would probably not be good enough for her but whatever, a girl can dream 🙂 At least now I know I have a chance, haha…
Me too! When she came out and people gave her a standing o, i got teary eyed.
You gotta respect her for speaking the truth. Her whole speech was honest and beautiful.
You also gotta love the LGTB community for fighting for something the even straight people should be fighting for; acceptance, peace and love. For EVERYONE.
The world really would be a much better place.
I thought she came out ages ago.
I don’t really care what her sexuality is at all. What I do care about is how little most people care about the news that an actor came out. That’s progress.
Since the days of when Ellen Degeneres came out and lost so much over it to now I think it speaks to our growing acceptance.
Side note…I knew she wasn’t getting any Viking love.
I too thought she came out a while ago and that’s why I never bought the rumours of her and Skarsgard hooking up. It’s so awesome to see that she can come out and no one really bats an eye. It really shows how far people/society have come and it makes me so happy. Love is love.
@artemis: people were saying Page was a lesbian because while she wasn’t out to the larger public, she was out to the people that are actually in her life. Werent she and Clea quietly together for quite a while? It wasn’t homophobic for people to call a spade a spade when it came to the whole Askars thing, because she IS a lesbian, and that makes Askars distinctly not her type.
And we didn’t know that. I’m sure her friends and family knew but she guarded her personal life fiercely which is her prerogative.
It is said that she dated Duvall but she never confirmed it so I don’t care. She was also rumoured to have dated 3 men (Ben Foster is one them) yet nobody cares about that because bi people aren’t taken seriously and it would confuse the people who were sure she was gay/lesbian. Just like it blew people’s mind about her and ASkars possible dating.
And yes, judging a person and their sexuality on the basis of negatively passing comment on somebody’s clothing style and demeanor, thereby scrutinizing her love life and general persona is very homophobic. It’s the same thing what people say about Kristen Stewart and it’s a sad state of mind in our society.
Fact is, she just spoke out about her sexuality so people who passed judgment over her sexuality in the past where just doing that: judging. Not spreading the truth because they didn’t know. I’m all for gossip, but this ‘outing’ people is horrible. Every male actor is gay and in the closet and every woman who doesn’t conform to certain narrow standards is a lesbian and in the closet. Why?
The judgement wasn’t coming from ”she dresses masculinely, she must be gay” it came from the fact that she’s gay. She clearly self identifies as gay. Not only the people that knew her and worked with her knew that she’s gay, but also the entertainment press.
Now, the part that I find most interesting is this trend of other gay writers/blogs/media doing the outing. I think its an interesting queation: as a public figure, what is your responsibility to the group that you identify with, especially if they’re a marginalized group? And are you not ‘out’ if you don’t put out a press release? Look at Jim Parsons, who has been openly with his partner for many years – yet he wasn’t considered out until it was put in print? How could Jodie Foster not be considered out?
Personally, the only thing that bugged me about the Skarsgard thing was the fact that it was so out of character for Ms. Page – she’s never been a star to try to professionall capitalize on her personal life, and it was pretty clear even from here that she was being pressured into trying to ‘play the game’. Pressure that she talked about in her speech. Pressure to put forward an image, to sell herself in order to sell her movie.
Yeah me too. Never believed the Viking hook up either. Not sure why so many were so “sure” about it either ?
Because it’s impossible for a man and woman to just be platonic friends, duh! 😉
These comments are probably the reason why she came out, because when people such as yourselves saw the photos, you just KNEW they weren’t hooking up because you were certain she was gay. She had never said it, but you all knew it, and argued that point.
Well, you were right…but you shouldn’t be bragging. It was an invasion of her privacy.
Perhaps people won’t feel the need to “come out” once others learn to stop gossipping about their sexuality.
@ Elle Kaye: How was that an invasion of privacy? If it was, you’re doing the same thing simply by reading this blog. It’s ALL about talking about celebrities in a gossipy fashion so please, no soap box.
Also, I didn’t know or care about her sexuality but I sure as hell knew Skarsgard is super “protective” of his personal life (when he chooses to be) so he’ll smooch anyone BUT his girlfriend in public. Simple as that.
Oh, and people will never stop gossiping. About someone’s sexuality or anything else. That’s human nature. We’ll never be that evolved.
Elle Kaye
Those photos of Ellen and Skarsgard were to promote a movie they were in. The “candid” shots were taken and tweeted by the director of the film. There was absolutely no invasion of privacy there.
The other photos of her and the hot viking were on the red carpet. They were playing roles to build interest behind their film. It was all staged so there’s no invasion.
And she to my knowledge has no been harrassed about her sexual orientation or fielded many questions about it. No one really cared. She came out because she wanted to, not needed to, unlike so many others that are outed without their consent.
@FLORC
She was harassed. She was ‘outed’ in 2011 by V-Generations because they didn’t like it that she wasn’t a gay activist and hiding her sexuality. They called her a hypocrite. They said she dated Drew B. and Clea D. but also included her male lovers.
Besides that, there were always rumours about her being gay because of the way she dressed (tomboy), because she never had a boyfriend (despite having dated 3 men?) and there were articles about her sexuality on Village Voice and Gawker because of her dating habits and the conclusion that she must be gay because ‘not a whole lot comes up’ when you google her and a boyfriend or dating! Always around times when she was high-profile (2007-2008 and 2011).
Then I remember pictures being taken of her and a female friend and they didn’t like it so conclusion: it’s her girlfriend! She’s in the closet!
Various things like that have happened throughout the years and on blogs the consensus (just like with Stewart) was that she must be gay because of her clothing style and demeanor. The scrutiny and homophobic commentary on her and ASkars said enough. She never said she was lesbian yet posters here and everywhere else were 100% sure she was lesbian so why would a man like Askars date her, she wasn’t his type etc etc. Wtf? Femininity and sexuality is clearly still a big issue for a lot of people and I understand why Page felt compelled to come out even though she didn’t have to imo. Besides she herself said the pressure took a toll on her (personal life) so clearly she was aware of all these events.
Artemis
Like I said, To my knowledge. Thanks for giving the details though.
Maybe I just don’t pay too much attention to those who pressure others to agree or take sides by threatening to out them or doing so.
Good for her for coming out. She clearly felt she had to for herself and her personal life.
I started following her career in 2008 so when everybody was commenting on her sexuality, I wanted to know if she confirmed it or not. That’s when I saw all those horrible articles.
I thought she was funny and intelligent in interviews, I don’t even know where the gay rumours came from. To me she came across as normal and low-profile, I didn’t understand why people where interested when it seemed clear she wasn’t ‘that’ type of actor. The rumours affected her deeply, sad, it goes to show again how sexuality is a big deal in Hollywood and why many don’t want to come out or are scared to 🙁
I find it intersting that with LGBT celebrities there are actually 2 ‘coming outs’. They not only come out to their friends and family and others in their life, but now there’s this expectation that if they don’t make a public announcement to everyone, that they’re not truly out. It’s like what Jodie Foster said last year at the Golden Globes – she came oht years ago to those she cares about. She’s been living her life openly, and we as the public aren’t entitled to any special announcement. Ellen Page has been the same way: its no secret that she’s a lesbian, and she’s lived her life very quietly and done her thing, but she’s clearly never had to truly hide who she was (aside from super public events). Which brings me to my other point:
I actually think the little faux-mance with skarsgard was a last straw. I think she got pressure to make their relationship look a little ‘are they or aren’t they?’ to get some extra press for The East. They’re friends, obviously, but it was definitely a bit much. It was for sure ”lying by omission”.
Bridget
Like I said above. getting cozy with Skarsgard was (imo) promotional and not whatever the reversed role of “bearding” is called. She might still have to fake a relationship or attraction to generate interest for a movie. Lots of actors have to do this regardless of sexual orientation.
Also, I agree about the 2 coming out announcements. It shouldn’t be that way and no one is forcing them to make the announcement to the public.
Promotional? How stupid. Could is be that they were two people who worked on a movie and became friends? SHOCKER!
If you knew anything about him at all (I have no idea if you do) he is affectionate with EVERYONE, including friends and costars. It’s not some publicity ploy. Ugh.
I didn’t mean to imply that he was bearding for her, rather that I think she got pressure to play up their personal relationship to garner press for The East(which was a tiny movie). It’s a prime example of her ‘lying by omission’ – they clearly have a good personal relationship, and by just not discussing the exact nature of it it got some extra press from people speculating about that very relationship. You know, exactly the stuff that she was talking about in her speech, hence my wondering if that experience was a bit of a last straw for her.
Not gonna lie, i was totally shipping her with ASkars but i’m happy for her!
I was hoping she was bi and hooking up with AS cuz I think they would make a great couple. They seem to really enjoy each others’ company and it would be cool to see him with a woman of substance. But it’s all good — I bet Ellen makes a great wing-person!
Yes, those pictures of them were really adorable, which is why i wanted Page-Skarsgard to be a thing that existed!
I love her! She’s so cool and so hilarious.
A lot of my gay friends call themselves gay, but are bisexual, but mostly lean toward same-sex relationships. Like they can have an enjoyable fling with a opposite-sex lover for a few months or whatever, but because they find a relationship with a same-sex lover more sexually satisfying, they really would only want a long-term, serious relationship with a same-sex lover. So maybe she did have a fling with AS, or maybe he just has a crush on her (the way he was looking at her in some of those photos).
Your friends aren’t gay, they are bisexual. Gay people don’t have sexual relationships with the opposite sex. Period. Ever. They are bi.
But what I’m saying is they call themselves gay. So a person can be bi and identify as gay. I don’t think it’s up to other people to say what a person should identify as or what they “really” are. Lots of gay people have had relationships with the opposite sex, too, if they are really only attracted to same-sex people then those relationships were icky or at least unfulfilling sexually, but that doesn’t mean that a person isn’t “really” gay because he dated girls in high school. It would set an unreasonable high bar to say that someone can’t be gay if they have ever had sex with an opposite-sex person ever, period.
It’s not really up to you to label them, Sappho. If Jenna’s friends identify as gay that’s what they are. How many girls have done stuff with other girls but consider themselves straight? Lots. They are what they feel they are. People are more than a series of behaviors.
I’ve heard from the gay folks I know that it’s pretty rare for even someone who identifies as gay to have NOT had sex with a member of the opposite sex. There’s a lot more to sexuality than the black and white labels. I even dated a guy who identified as straight, but had once been dating a guy. He was confused and exploring he said. He said he was never attracted to another guy that way ever again, so he identified as straight. I think the bottom line is that everyone be they gay straight bi. Etc respect what others feel about their own sexuality. It’s not for us to label or decide.
Wow Sappho I am not sure who made you official judge of human sexuality. There are loads of gay people that had early sexual experiences with the opposite sex. There are heteros that have had same sex experiences. There is a whole youtube video on lesbians that occasionally sleep with men.
Human sexuality has a lot of gray. Especially with woman. There was a university study done a couple of years ago that had people watch porn to see what triggered arousal. Gay men only got aroused at gay porn. Straight men had no reaction to gay male porn. The women straight and lesbian got aroused by all the porn.
@ Jessma: I completely agree with your comment.
Sappho, I have gay friends who have had relations with both sexes. They made an educated and experienced choice when they settled on a same-sex relationship. The Premier of Ontario, where I live, is a lesbian, married to a woman, but when she first married it was to a man and she had a couple of kids. She realized fairly early on that she preferred women, divorced, met a wonderful partner and married her. It’s not so cut and dried and human sexuality is an ever-evolving life choice.
@Saffo I’m 100% gay and I had sex with a man on New Years (I was very drunk). Just because someone’s gay doesn’t mean they can’t hook up with the opposite sex, I would’ve thought this was too obvious to even mention but there you go.
She made one of the best speeches. It was not preachy or anything ott. just very personal. made me like her even more. kudos for her coming out. i cant wait for the time that noone has to come out anymore and that gender/sexual orientation doesnt matter
Best speech from a celebrity I have heard in a long time. Not like that crazy and confusing speech from Jodie Foster.
Lol I hope you feel silly for believing there was anything between her and Alex besides friendship. Especially when everyone was insisting she played for the other team.
Everyone pretty much knew but her speech was beautiful.
Who didn’t know this? It was obvious,i’m not surprise.
It wasn’t about ‘knowing’ what her sexuality was – it’s the fact that she CAME OUT. Straight people don’t get or understand how big a deal it is (even today) to come out and announce your sexuality when there are still plenty of people who frown and look down on homosexuals. She’s announcing it to say ‘this is what i am’ and from what i gather, that hopefully your reaction will be the norm one day when it DOES become the norm to be able to casually explain one’s sexuality…
“Ellen Page is GAY?!?! I’m so shocked!!!” Said no one ever.
Dig this chick
I have to edit this because after I wrote this I read everything below me… Wow.. the LGBT community is treated like second class citizens and denied basic civil liberties and rights and this has to stop!!! I applaud her brave decision for coming out publicly!!! I think for me I would say “who cares” if she’s gay because it doesn’t matter in regards to who she is as a human being, and until people begin to see others as a person of value instead of the label they choose to put on them they will continue to be this kind of bigotry.. but I will also say as someone who comes from Los Angeles, nobody cares if your gay black white Hispanic female male transgender as long as you’re a good person. at least that’s a community I was raised in. but I know the extreme bigotry still exist all across America and it really makes me sad
Sorry but it’s not 1952 …being gay has been accepted for a while ….. Why did she wait so long …. Publicity stunt ?
Saying “who cares?” is the new favorite line of homophobes everywhere.
Who cares? How about all the young kids who still get bullied and attacked and assaulted and kill themselves because they’re gay? The kids who are terrified their family will disown them? The kids who feel alone? That’s why it’s a big deal.
Yes, gay people have become more accepted and many people are totally fine with ith it. But guess what? The state of Kansas just tried to pass a bill that would make it legal to refuse service to gay people and discriminate against them. So the only place that everything is fine and dandy is in your own head. If you watch the video of her speech (which I’m sure you won’t) you’ll see she was terrified of saying it. Saying it’s some publicity stunt is really gross and I hope you feel ashamed.
Who said I don’t care … I’m far from homophobic … My brother is an absolute queen and his husband is my best friend … I never said it was easy for any minority … But Ellen is not in Kansas …. She’s in Hollywood … So give me a break
Your naiveté is astounding.
Before you go on a rant about what somebody said…maybe you should make sure you actually read what they said. Even putting it in quotes…”who cares”
Looks like you were ready to pounce on somebody, so you put words in their mouth.
But no, being gay is not widely accepted. It was a big deal to come out.
It’s always frustrating when someone comes along and proclaims woman/minorities and/or LBGTQ people are no longer discriminated against. It’s particularly baffling when a group who has been oppressed in some way proclaims that other groups are no longer being oppressed. As a woman, who has been paid less for the same work (and who has been told women aren’t capable of doing my job as well as men), I know that women are still being discriminated against. I know that we’re being paid less for the same work and that minorities are being paid less than their white counterparts. I’ve been called a sp*c and have felt marginalized because of my background. For these reasons I know that LGBTQ people are still being marginalized. The discrimination may be more discreet (as it has become with women and minorities) but it is still there and we’re doing a great disservice to ourselves as women and minorities if we pretend that everything is great for LGBTQ people. We need to support other groups being marginalized and demand equal treatment for all (and by doing this, things will get better for all).
Yes Look at the Olympics.
I’m sure all the LGBT people are not thinking Who Cares. They do and so do the millions upon millions that are still out there.
It is 2014.. look at the news and you will see that we still have a very very long way to go.
Geez, now if you find this to be some boring non-event you’re a “homophobe”?
Excuse me, but I’m finding this whole ‘coming out’ business to be stupid and unnecessary; it feels more like a publicity stunt than anything else. Maybe we should demand that e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e wear a placard around their neck stating their sexual preferences. That would be good, right?
Where was it ever said that any of us should have to know precisely what an actor’s sexual preferences are? I barely can summon up caring about this persons acting career no less who it is she’s sleeping with. And frankly, if this is really, truly going to help someone who is closeted and having problems, I’d venture a guess that individual would be much better off going to a therapist than worrying about what Ellen Page is doing between the sheets tonight.
@renata You clearly have no ideas of what struggles are faced by closeted people. Try and venture a guess on what it might feel like to have to hide a huge part of your identity for fear of hatred, loathing, fear and disgust (amongst other reactions) from those you love and those in your life. You have no idea what young kids (or adults who are struggling) a coming out like this could help. It’s okay for her to be openly a lesbian and it’s okay for them too. It could give them to courage or acceptance within to live their life they way they’re made to.
Are you married? Ever been engaged? Ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend of the opposite sex? Well you have that metaphorical placard round your neck. I’M STRAIGHT!!! If you don’t have to hide, why should anyone else? Gay people just want the same respect and thoughtfulness for the relationships they have.
If this isn’t your opinion then I hope you cringe if you see a hetero couple walking hand in hand or feel ‘bored’ if someone says ‘I am straight’ too. Why are they shoving their heterosexuality in your face? WHY can’t they just leave it behind closed doors? Sound reasonable? Didn’t think so.
@Lex —
Please don’t have the audacity to tell a complete stranger what they do or don’t have an idea of — it makes you sound like some sort of clown. Nor am I in the slightest bit interested in what you perceive of as a “struggle”. Nor did I mention a “metaphorical” placard. You want to put words in someone’s mouth, be brave and do it in person where you can suffer the consequences, not online where you slither away like a coward.
You know, everyday I see homeless people who don’t have enough to eat. That’s a struggle. Ponce movie stars who think they shatter the world by advertising their lesbianism, and do so with their publicists in tow??? That’s not a struggle. It’s just another 500 word slot on a site like Celebitchy. No offense to this site as I like it and come here often, but if this is where you find your serious issues and identify your life struggles I feel for you. Seriously.
As for your hypersensitivity regarding who is walking down the street and the gender of whose hand they happen to be holding?? I humbly suggest you go talk to a professional if that which your eye encounters walking down the street is so riddled with consequence and concern. No doubt professional advice will be of far greater help with that than anyone on this thread.
As long as one teen gives themselves for being gay, for being sent to an ex gay “therapist,” for being made homeless. As long as people are fired for being gay, are denied adopting children, are denied marrying the person they love…. as long as people are beaten, raped, and killed for being gay, what Ellen did is important.
I don’t know what United States you live in, but it isn’t one where LGBT have equal rights. That disgusting LGBT Jim Crow bill that passed the Kansas House this week shows that.
How demeaning and dismissive of equal civil rights.
Coming out as gay in IRAN is brave. Here, it’s not so much of a big deal. Yes you will find a-holes in the US but you are not seeing public executions.
And notice it’s always the PC crowds that crow about coming out but the moment someone looks different or acts differently (like a metrosexual male) and said person does not announce their sexuality, they are the first ones screaming “GAYYYYY.”
Just because i the US (and western world) isn’t as horrible as Iran, etc, doesn’t mean it’s not less of a big deal. As someone mentioned above, as a woman in the construction sector, I am discriminated against. Am I to feel better because I’m not …. what…fully discriminated against? Because it could be even worse? Because I’m “allowed” to work there, even at a lower pay and worse career prospects. I’m not even a “worker”, I’m a civil engineer, where it’s all about the brain. Discrimination is a black or white concept (which is also a source of discrimination). You either are discriminated against or you aren’t. Women, gays and non-whites definitely are discriminated against in varying degrees, depending on the sector, geographical area, etc. And most importantly, the group(s) you’re discriminated for belonging to.
Because coming out to just family and friends, let alone the whole world, is terrifying. It may be 2014 but life is still hard for people in the LGBT community. As someone who is a part of that community, with many friends also in it, I can honestly say that we still have a long way to go as a nation and as a world in accepting people who are different.
So I would say a LOT of people care, and that no, it’s not a publicity stunt. Ellen doing this will give people like me hope for the future. Sometimes that’s all people really need.
Although I would like to agree with you, I can’t. If everyone “accepted” the fact that some people happen to be gay, then my state wouldn’t be one of the ones that did a bang-up job getting out the religious conservative vote to pass the an amendment prohibiting gay marriage. The mere state of being homosexual would not be illegal in 38 of 54 African countries. We wouldn’t have controversy at the Sochi Olympics relating to Russia’s treatment of gays. Etc, etc, etc… There have been advancements, but there isn’t 100% acceptance or equality. I happen to have a gay niece, and I applaud any politician or athlete or celebrity who is open about their sexuality, because I want her to have a metric a$$load of examples of people who are happy and successful and just happen to be gay.
Ms. Martin – it is 1952 in many places. Gays and lesbians are bullied, shunned, taunted and treated horribly by many communities, religions and countries. Hello…Russia?
I work with someone whose nephew is gay and lives in a small-town northern Ontario community. He’s had a terrible time dealing with local rednecks and yahoos who have bullied him relentlessly. So coming out is very cathartic for people like Ellen Page – she’s never fit into the stereotypical Hollywood young actress role, but I’m sure she was pressured by the industry moguls to NOT let out the fact that she is a lesbian. That in itself is denying your own existence and not being true to yourself. I applaud her for choosing the right moment to address this in such a supportive way.
You may not be a homophobe, (I see why people thought you were one at first, though. A lot of homophobic people angrily or bitterly cry ‘publicity stunt’ when a famous person comes out) but you are a little naïve. Yes there’s more acceptance of people who aren’t heterosexual now, but we haven’t yet gotten to a point in society where everyone can be comfortably open about their sexual orientation and love lives without shaming, threats, or discrimination. Until we get to that point, coming out as anything other than heterosexual will be some kind of emotional or anxious event.
Again missing the point …. Ellen is in hollywood where it’s much more accepted …I could understand her lying by omission if she lived in a small town …..gay people , black people Jews all still treated like crap in many parts of this county I get it … I don’t get it when someone is from Hollywood sorry
@Ms.Martin:
Hollywood has the *reputation* of being ‘open & accepting’ however, the fact that a great many men and women are still hiding their homosexuality indicates it’s not quite as open & accepting as we think. Clearly she felt (as have other actors and actresses) the need to hide. She isn’t the first, and sadly, won’t be the last to hide either. And there are movie theatres in lots of places that are anti-gay all over the world — so even if Hollywood was accepting, it can still negatively impact her career. Regardless of why she came out, I would give her the benefit of the doubt as I don’t think she approached this decision lightly.
If it was accepted there would be more than a couple of dozen of Out film actors in Hollywood.None of which are romantic leads in films to my knowledge.
Exactly 😉
Obvious troll is obvious.
Really I’m a troll … As renata said now if you don’t agree you’re a homophobe ?? Give me a break … As I’ve been trying to get across to most of you , being gay in parts of California ( Hollywood) ..and New York ….Manhattan , the Hamptons … Is much more accepted than let’s say …. Kansas …. Take it easy
Ms. Martin – why do you think she’s ‘from Hollywood”? She’s an indie actor. She doesn’t have a huge Hollywood presence. She keeps to herself when she’s not filming small, indie movies. It’s not like she’s in the Hollywood spotlight all the time promoting herself as one thing when she’s another. She’s deliberately kept herself away from the self-aggrandizing publicity wheel of fortune that so many Hollywood-obsessed actors jump on. So she’s gone about revealing her gender preferences in the most adult, supportive and mature way possible. What’s wrong with that?!
I never said she was from Hollywood …she works in a profession where it is more accepted than lets say a cashier in middle America ..people get off it …she has more support than the average person …in middle America where being any minority can be difficult
Such a touching and brave speech, it made me cry. You could tell how nervous she was. I just wanted to give her a hug.
And, yes, many of us figured she was years ago, but coming out can be so scary, so she deserves major props for doing this.
I hope this puts those messed up Alex Skarsgaard rumors to rest because they really, really disturbed and angered a lot of us who kept telling everyone Ellen Page was gay.
Kaiser, you live in VA? Let’s hang out! Lol.
I didn’t see Juno. I only know her as Kitty Pryde from X-Men. Congrats all the same!
You have to see Juno. Best teenage pregnancy love story ever. See it today. For real. For Ellen.
Inception!
She was great in Hard Candy.
Juno was awesome!!
I was so happy when I heard about this on Friday. I love Ellen (she’s my ultimate girl crush), and I’m glad she feels comfortable enough to do this. You go girl!
Congrats Ellen! So now that it’s official, I am single if you are ever in the Boston area…..
😉
As a fellow Virginian, I am so happy that we can truly say ‘Virginia is for lovers!’
As for Ellen, I called this. So happy for her. Now my brother, who has been crushing on her since Whip It, owes me $20.
Beautiful speech, and I am so happy for her. I can’t imagine what it would be like to keep something like that hidden, especially in the industry she is in. Hollywood may have made strides, but I bet that a lot of doors still get slammed.
And LOL to all the people who insisted that it was SO OBVIOUS that she and Askars were a couple.
This.
I never bought her and AS dating either, though I didn’t think it was a bearding situation. I just thought it was a) two people promoting a movie and b) two people hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. They did really seem to love being around each other.
If anyone wants to “come out” I think that’s fine. However, if people keep coming out in a splashy sure to catch the headlines kind of way they are negating the the concept of integrating LGBT sexuality into the common norm – ensuring that their sexuality stands out rather than the public having a Zachary Quinto coming out reaction of, “Well, OK then. I sure like him as Spock. By the way, what’s for dinner?”. I thought Qunito’s coming out was brilliant. No muss, no fuss, no treating it as anything but normal. Just my two cents.
Maybe if you actually watched her speech you would understand.
I did watch her speech. Perhaps you shouldn’t assume.
She came out at a conference supporting LGBT youth. It wasn’t a press conference. It was a very “appropriate” (read – “non splashy”) place to have done that – and in doing so, she encouraged the youth attending.
To me, her coming out was a non-event. Someone’s sexuality does not interest me. But to many, her coming out was a huge affirmation that it is OK to be exactly who you are and that hiding and lying by omission can hurt you. I applaud her.
As I stated at the beginning of my post, if someone wants to come out I think that’s fine. However they feel is appropriate. Like you, I don’t care what someone else’s sexuality is. I think the biggest affirmation that it’s OK to be who you are to to live your life they way that works for you.
+1 Very well stated, paranormalgirl.
Please explain Nora …. You act as if you know me personally ….. You have no idea how many times I had to come to my brothers defense … How it was I that encouraged him to hold his husbands had in public to not be ashamed … Don’t pretend to be an expert you sound like a bitter moron
You’re contradicting yourself. You write that it’s not necessary that gays come out publicly, because we don’t live in the 1950s, but then you write that you had to defend your brother countless times. Since when gays stopped being discriminated? Since last Tuesday?
It’s not about personality, it’s about logic.
You’re missing the point … I never said being gay was easy . I’m saying to suggest it’s not easy as an actor or actress is bs .Ellen ,Neil Patrick Harris … These people paved the way. Coming out when you live in a small town ,that I can imagine would be horrifying.
You’re also missing the point Mrs. Martin. Yes, it’s still no easy to come out in Hollywood, why?
a. The interest for moguls. For every Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris, we have other LGBT actors who didn’t get the opportunity to get roles in Hollywood. There’s still audience who didn’t buy a gay/lesbian actor as a lead. Just saw most of the reports from 50 Shades of Grey, the biggest obstacle from Matt Bomer was – “Of course he’s gorgeous but he’s gay and I never believe him as a romantic lead”. (And yes, it was a repetitive excuse by many fans).
b. Right now, International money has great value -Especially in homophobic countries like Russia and the Persian Gulf emirates-. Having a known LGBT lead will means lost for the rejection of the film in these parts. So, at the end, the actor lose opportunities, money and respect from Hollywood
c. Still, Hollywood is a conservative place with many power and money from the adverses groups.
At the end, a coming out from an actor/actress in Hollywood is too much to handle and lose.
I don’t think this surprises many, but I’m really happy for her having the strength to make this statement.
Shows how silly most tabloid stories are too.
Some day, announcements such as Ellen’s will not be necessary or newsworthy. May we reach that day soon. May Ellen Page have a long, successful career and a happy life. Kaiser, welcome to the lands of marriage equality.
Yes, congratulations on your state’s decision, Kaiser. It fills one with pride, doesn’t it?
This is awesome. Like Juno couldn’t get any better in its legacy, and then this happens.
She’s a righteous gal for doing this! I honestly think it will help many teens who are struggling w their sexuality out there. She’s made it easier for them, and for that, I think she deserves every once of positive attention she’s getting for doing something brave.
Years ago, My family and I, moved to Kansas due to work. I was new to my neighborhood, when a couple of the neighbor ladies asked me if I wanted to take a walk. One of the woman, (and I don’t even remember how we started talking about this) started talking about gay people and the bible and how they were going to Hell, etc. I totally disagreed with her, but, being new to the neighborhood, I kept my mouth shut, didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with the neighbors. I looked over at the other woman, and she had tears running down her cheeks. We said, whats wrong, and she told us that her beloved brother was gay…I was ashamed of myself for not speaking my mind…I was ashamed of myself for not standing up to this judgemental, ignorant, person, for fear of being ostricized…I was ashamed of hiding my true beliefs…and I am ashamed when I think of this story today! And if I felt like I had to hide, just my belief, that being gay is perfectly fine and normal…can you imagine, being gay, and trying to hide that everyday and pretending to be something and someone you are not?
Congrats to this lovely and talented lady.
Am I the only on who is less-than-in-love with the phrase ‘coming out’? The phrase implies hiding (I get that). Shouldn’t it be more like ‘revels’ or just plainly ‘announces’. If a person prefers the same sex & is shy or scared, ‘coming out’ sounds like you tried to unsuccessfully rob a 7-11.
Even better, “mentions”….
Ellen doesn’t need to get married in Virginia. She’s Canadian.
I really wish we lived in an era where no one had to come out and publicly announce their sexuality.
+ 1 million
+ 1 trillion
I feel that i’ve always known she was gay, but i’m glad she’s said it clearly without a caveat.
Hate to say it, but Kaiser- we told you so ;).
I thought her speech was all kinds of fantastic and very moving. Good for her for coming out.
The fact that her voice was shaking spoke more volumes about this than her words themselves. There is still so much bias out there and this was very brave.
I am such a huge fan. She is such a brilliant and gifted actress. She always seems way too good for Hollywood.
agreed
I agree. I cried listening to her speech. I felt so proud of her though — overcoming her obvious fears (the fidgeting, the shakiness in her voice, etc.) that I cried as if I was her Mama.
Ellen, you go girl!!!!
YOU GO, GIRL! Brava.
Ellen is an amazing actress and was really great in ReGenesis, a little known show. If you’re into science I highly recommend you watch it. But I just wanted to say that I have always liked Ellen Page. For her personality, her intelligence, her eloquence and the fact that she cares about what happens to the world. The fact that she came out to the world with such grace and elegance, makes me like her even more. Congrats Ellen. Here’s to living an authentic life and crushing the stigma that so many people out there feel. As a fellow Canadian, I couldn’t be prouder.
@Tanya, ReGenesis looks UhMazing!! I am a HUGE SCI FI FAN, especially the classics, and I can not WAIT to watch it. Here’s a link for any other Lady Sci Fiers out there! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0429422/
I grew up in VA. I had a childhood friend who had a gay parent with a live-in partner. My friend requested that we, her close friends, not tell other more casual acquaintances about that particular living arrangement. She was afraid that more conservative people in our state would report it and cause her gay parent to lose custody of her. (Her other biological parent was a deadbeat.) We would refer to the live-in partner as “the roommate” in order to protect our friend’s privacy and to not cause problems for her.
I’m sure that there are stories like this all over the USA and probably all over the world. I am glad that now this kind of story won’t be true in Virginia anymore.
Virginian in the house. w00t! You go, VA.
This is in response to @Geemoney to my comment way at the top. I didn’t go into full detail about my bosses behaviour and there was a lot of issues with her and you are correct some people are just mean and crazy but when I found myself having to lie and pretend because of my own situation it changed me and affected my confidence and mental health in huge ways so I was able to look at her in different eyes and see that some of her problems might be associated with her living a lie. I mean I only lived my lie for 3 years and it completely f-ed me up and she had been living a lie for over 30 years or more. So I do think there is something to here behaviour. Anyway I happy for Ellen and she found her speech moving and touching and she is one of the few I really believe her sincerity.
Good for her! I’m shy about talking about sexual stuff, I can’t imagine what it has to feel like to have to admit something about your sexuality publicly to be able to just be yourself. I didn’t have to make an announcement to my parents before I held hands with my boyfriend in front of them. I admire the people that have the courage.
This just makes me LMAO at all the people who actually really, truly believed she and Skars were on the down low — despite the obvious.
Not that there’s a “right” way to come out, but this is pretty classy and awesome all at once, between Ellen and Wentworth Miller the bar has been raised. I think the next truly awesome thing would be for someone to come out at a high school somewhere, because that is where the suffering and problems are at their peak for most young people. My good friend was openly gay 20 yrs ago in our social circle anyway, and even then I thought “What’s the big deal” for a long time, until I realized he was threatened and bullied constantly despite being popular and having lots of friends. It makes me sad that so little has changed, it’s beyond ridiculous. I wish it didn’t have to be a big deal for famous people to be out and proud, and while I respect people’s privacy, anyone who thinks things like this don’t make an impact or matter is wrong. Even when it’s someone like Ellen who was simply lying by omission, I hope it makes things a little bit easier for someone who is suffering somewhere.
Good for her for having the strength to make that speech. I’m just sad that we live in a world where it’s still scary to make that speech in public. I really, truly don’t understand WHY it’s anyone’s business who anyone else chooses to be in a relationship with. As far as I’m concerned, the only restrictions on relationships and marriage should be: their age, mental competency, and single status. Obviously no minor/adult situations (the fact that 16 year old Courtney Stodden was allowed to marry a 50-something man is ridiculous!!!) or already being married to someone else. The fact that anyone 1) feels they have the “right” to know about someone else’s private life, or 2) feel they have to “come out”, speaks volumes how incredibly far we still have to go in acceptance of people as just human beings, regardless of which “box” we put them in.
I have one house, but it would be extremely boring if every single room inside that house was painted the same color! Or if my garden and yard had only one kind/color of flower, etc. It’s the variety that makes it interesting and the beautiful visual impact makes me happy when I look at it. We are all one race, the human race, but everyone is a little bit different in some way, and the more variety the greater the benefit to everyone.
^^THIS^^
People should be allowed to be who they are as long as it’s not harming others. Love (healthy love) makes the world a better place. Period/Full Stop.
Everyone who read enough gossip sites knew about it. Despite being labelled as “hater” by others (as if knowing someone is gay means you hate them. pfft, that’s such BS.)
It does seem to me that usually stars come out when their star isn’t burning as bright as before. Then again, others call the paps for fake coverage, or act like morons on Twitter so….. at least coming out is genuine.Even if I sometimes question the timing. Other than that, I got nothing.
Of course the timing may be simply that they’re less likely to be hurt by it after they’ve been around a while (industry and perception). And people have a right to self-preservation as well.
I thought we all knew she was gay after Juno came out? …
ellen was finally featured in this site!
Her coming out speech was ruined as soon as it was announced her new movie about a lesbian couple was coming out the day after. So it was a publicity stunt.
What exactly is your point?
Observer – THIS is the year Ellen Page had the courage to throw away her chance at becoming America’s Sweetheart like a young Sandra Bullock. She’s walking away from Big Money because of Muricans like you.
Ellen Page is a normal young woman who’s been attending the Spirit Awards for years. She is a lovely and talented young woman who has as much right as Johnny Depp to talk about her sexuality, and make no mistake Ms. Page should shout from the rooftops who she loves.
You’re ‘point’ is invalid. In fact, from where I sit it sure looks like what you’re trying to say is a load of bullshit.
@Sloane
Your comments are often among my favorites on this site. Let me just say that in all honesty upfront. However, right now I can’t understand why you are so ANGRY. You’ve lashed out at both @Observer (above) and @MrsMartin (below) even though they’ve said nothing offensive. They’ve just expressed an opinion that maybe goes slightly off the beaten track of most everyone else’s comments on this thread. But they’ve insulted no one — not gay people and not Ellen.
FWIW, I agree with both of them. So I guess you can get mad at me now, too.
Thank you that’s EXACTLY what it is ….this is the same thing as being a racist if someone doesn’t agree with Obama …
Mrs.Martin, um, are you agreeing with Observer? Or are you using an excellent sarcasm font? I really can’t tell.
Either way, would you mind letting me know?
Christ, where’s my damn Mimosa? I know I saw it around here someswears.
Anyone who watched and listened to her give her speech knows it wasn’t a publicity stunt. How insulting and disturbing you would think that. Just wow.
Sappho is right, if you look at how nervous she is in the video, you can tell this moment is REAL for her. And beyond that, Ellen has been trying to get Freeheld made for YEARS. She’s been working on it pretty much since the documentary came out in 2007/8. It seems like pure coincidence to me that producers finally got a name big enough to play the main character (Julianne Moore) and thus ensure financing. If Ellen just wanted to use her sexuality as a bargaining chip to publicize that particular movie, she would have done it ages ago and saved herself the headache of having a production in limbo for nearly 7 years.
I am not saying her speech was not “real”, or that it wasn’t sincere and coming from an honest place. I am saying the timing ruins it for *me*.
I am happy for her but I am also a little disappointed because itwas clearly a calculated publicity stunt.
Also, I get that it was probably difficult for her but again, the timing of it all ruined it tbh.
Fair enough. If that’s how it came across to you that’s fine and there’s no arguing with that. It’s not personal and I guess it shouldn’t have to be any different than when we all argue over other celebrities and what is or isn’t conveniently timed for publicity.
I think it’s just that, for those of us who have gone through our own coming out and recognize ourselves in all of her nervous movements, it’s really hard to keep this from being personal. I know you don’t mean it this way, but it can feel like those who are claiming it’s all for publicity are denying how hard it is. It can sound like this event we struggled to get through is being called a cry for attention. And it can feel like people are denying that the difficulties we still face everyday don’t exist. That our sexuality is an accessory to be trotted out like a new hair style. That this thing that is often used to oppress us is being called an advantage when we know from our experiences that it is not. Again, I know you don’t mean it that way at all. I’m just trying to explain why some of us may come off as reactionary to the opinion you guys are expressing. You are free to think it was timed to be advantageous. There’s nothing inherently offensive about that. I just happen to disagree. And that’s fine. 🙂
For what it’s worth though, the movie you are referring to (correct me if I’m wrong) is still in pre-production. They only announced that Julianne Moore was signed to star in it. I figure if the goal was to publicize the movie, she may have come out a few months too early to get the full benefit.
I dream about a world where no one will feel the urge of “coming out”, because your private life will be really private and no one will be able to judge you for your sexuality ( or for the colour of your skin, or your religion, or absence of religion, or for any of your life choices when they are no danger for other people). In the meanwhile, I’ m happy for Ellen, because it’s such a freedom when you have not to hide yourself anymore, it’s something which improves your life drastically.
At the same time I’m astonished when people label a woman as lesbian only because she is a no conformist woman, or because she is not married and doesn’t date like crazy, or because she doesn’t dress as a doll… There is something wrong in a world who thinks this way.
Did anyone actually think she was getting it on with Alexander? She always gave off a strong lesbian vibe. She just confirmed it. That’s all.
I DID see Juno and think Ellen is COMPLETELY ADORABLE!
love it/her/all