It’s been about three weeks since we reported the surprising death of Peaches Geldof. She was only 25 years old but passed away at her home near London. Peaches left behind a burgeoning young family, which included her husband, Tom Cohen, and their two sons, Astala (23 months) and Phaedra (11 months). Tom is now tasked with raising these two young boys on his own. He issued a brief statement: “My beloved wife Peaches was adored by myself and her two sons Astala and Phaedra and I shall bring them up with their mother in their hearts everyday. We shall love her forever.”
There’s been plenty of speculation surrounding Peaches’ passing, but here are some facts. A few hours before her death, Peaches posted a photo of herself with Paula Yates. Tom tried unsuccessfully to reach Peaches by phone. He called a family friend, who found Peaches’ body with Phaedra by her side. Tom, Astala, Phaedra have all moved out of the family home and are staying with Tom’s dad. Peaches’ dad, Bob Geldof, regularly visits his grandchildren. Tom has put the family home up for sale because he finds it too painful to live there.
Peaches’ funeral was held at the same church that Paula Yates was laid to rest. Celebrities like Kate Moss and Sarah Ferguson attended the proceedings. Peaches was cremated, but a coffin was created with a painting of herself, Tom, their sons, and their two dogs. I’ve included some photos of the coffin, which is heartbreaking.
Peaches’ cause of death has finally been revealed. Her autopsy was “inconclusive,” so lengthy toxicology tests were ordered. The Times has now published results that were returned to the coroner. Peaches died of a heroin overdose. The cause of death will be announced today at a brief inquest, which is a formality. What we know now is what many people originally suspected — Peaches left this earth in the same way as her mother:
Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose, it is expected to be announced today.
It has been claimed that results of a toxicology report will be announced by detectives in the morning, as an inquest into the mother-of-two’s death is opened and immediately adjourned.
The 25-year-old daughter of Sir Bob Geldof was found dead at her country home earlier this month in what was described by police as a ‘non-suspicious’ and ‘sudden unexplained’ death.
The Times reports that police discovered no evidence of drugs paraphernalia in the house, triggering suspicions that the house may have been searched and items removed prior to their arrival.
In a tragic case of history repeating itself, Peaches’ own mother Paula Yates died from an accidental heroin overdose in 2000, aged 41. She too was alone with young daughter by Michael Hutchence, Tiger Lily, then aged four.
A post mortem carried out by a Home Office Pathologist days after Peaches died proved inconclusive and samples of her blood and tissue were sent off to a laboratory to be tested for any possible toxins.
Police officers attend the home of Peaches Geldof in Wrotham, Kent, shortly after she was found dead earlier this month It is understood those results have now been returned to North West Kent Coroner Roger Hatch who will open an inquest into Peaches’ death later today. The hearing is only expected to last around 10 minutes.
A spokesman for Mr Hatch had earlier said a statement from a senior police officer will be heard and the coroner will release the cause of death. A date for a full inquest into the model and TV presenter’s death is due to be set some time in late July, the spokesman added.
[From Daily Mail]
This is terribly tragic. I had really hoped that Peaches had pulled herself together for the sake of her boys. She seemed determined to not repeat history. She even gave a final interview where she stated, “I am not about to let my sons down, not for anyone or anything.” Peaches spoke of her mom a lot, and it was clear that she was haunted by Paula’s death. Now Astala and Phaedra will grow up in the tragic shadow of their own mother. I can’t even imagine how much pain Tom and Bob Geldof are feeling right now.
Peaches’ Instagram, which was filled with photos of her children, has been deleted. Her Twitter account still exists (with gut-wrenching wallpaper) but has been locked.
Update: The Mail has an updated timeline of events that were detailed at today’s inquest. The timeline is confusing and (at first) makes it sound like Peaches was alone when she died. If you keep reading, the timeline continues to the point where Tom’s dad dropped off Phaedra and left the baby alone with Peaches. Sir Bob was confirmed as the person who identified Peaches’ body.
Photos courtesy of Peaches Geldof on Instagram & WENN
I’m very sad for her boys. 🙁 A very troubled woman.
Am I suppose to feel sorry for her? She was so privileged and also blessed with two beautiful kids…
She chose drugs and left her kids without a mother…
I think so, yes. One can feel sorry for someone without simultaneously absolving them of all personal responsibility. On a much more trivial level, it’s something I do quite often when the Sixlets are in some pickle or other of their own making.
I think addiction is more complicated than that. No, you don’t have to feel sorry for her. But please don’t think of it as a simple choice. She probably loved her kids and this was not what she had planned.
I almost feel resentment also…plus the upside down cross on her back? She seemed to take irreverence too far
I don’t know if I feel sorry for her, but I do feel compassion. I do think she loved her boys very much , but unfortunately her addiction got the best of her. It’s very sad all around.
Priveleged to have lost her mother so young? No amount of material wealth is going to make up for that kind of loss. Rich people may have it easier than us plebs in almost every way but not that.
@Jessica.
I don’t feel sorry for her, just sorry for her kids. But, was she really privileged, born to two parents with very mixed up lives and problems. Probably left her with emotionally scars and the only way she could cope is the same as her mother.
anyway, her husband needs to be questioned, did he know she was back on the drugs? did he cover it up? afraid he would lose the kids?
It is indeed tragic. Lost my Mom and Dad both to cancer. Both under 50 years of age. So, when I hear about stuff like this (dying basically by your own choice), it does anger me. However, I’ll never understand addiction. Too bad she didn’t heed what happened to her Mother. I sure did! Get regular mammograms! You don’t eff around with heroin OR cancer.
I don’t know… I honestly think it was an active suicidal choice, perhaps not so much a case of her having continued to use all this time. As in, I think her brain went to a dark place and after posting the picture of her mom right before HER death, she made the call to go to her the same way. And if that was the case, yes she was leaving her husband and children, but she could have been suffering from postpartum and not in her right mind at the time. She was so small, if she had been back to using I can’t help but think it would have been a lot more obvious to everyone around her. For the results to be so confusing at the start of the inquest, for them to not be 100% sure – pretty much says they didn’t find obvious signs of new use on the body. No track marks, no half healed cuts, no mouth or nose damage, and things like that would have caused a ‘well, she od’ed. Sad and all, but there ya go. Even the initial tox screens weren’t clear enough – as if there was no backlog of drugs lingering in her system, that would also point to continual use. Which in my head just seems like a case of a very young girl becoming seriously depressed in a short amount of time and not thinking long term before stepping off the cliff. Still horrible for the family, but if it was depression and desperation not indulgent drug use heading to a well-known end… yeah. It’s a sad sorry thing. But then, I’ve had 2 family members get totally clean for years and in the end chose the needle as their preferred method of walking off the stage so I could be just interpreting through my own lens.
I think it’s important to remember how young she was when she made her choices. Maybe she was a extremely sensitive person who couldn’t fully comprehend or process what happened to her mother. Maybe she didn’t want to believe it could happen to her. Maybe her way of telling addiction to F-off was to believe she was in control and not let the fear of ending up like her mother drag her down. Until it did.
I’m with Jessica. She’d already had a bad time with drugs, she had endless resources and access to all the help she needed, her responsibility was to take care of herself for her children, not shoot up with an 11 month old a few feet away. And whatever idiot cleaned up the scene before he called the cops should have helped her while she was alive.
It’s sad, but she gets no sympathy from me.
I’m with you, Jessica. Plenty of people lose their mothers in horrific and traumatic ways, but only a very few go on to have the money, resources, and connections that this woman did. I feel a lot more for someone who struggles with something like this in addition to having to worry about bills and work and retirement and medical care. Hell, I was molested repeatedly as a child by my mother’s brother; my father was severely physically and emotionally abusive; and I just lost my mother last year, but I don’t have anyone’s millions to fall back on and allow me the time and space to heal.
Nymeria, i agree with u and so sorry for your loss… Hold on
MJ I totally agree.Addiction is not that easy.And with heroin that is the devil.People you love and things you care about are not important anymore.
I feel ya, jessica. She left two little guys motherless, made a young man (she ostensibly loved) into a widower, left her family without a daughter/sister/cousin, and (of course) died on the only day of the week that could open her Dad up to terrible jokes. Addiction is selfish, by nature, and people have so many drugs of choice to fill the holes inside themselves – perhaps children etc. just fell short for her, eventually? (Family is a lovely gift, in the right mindset, but not a substitute for recovering your true self.) So it goes.
As for what kind of a life she actually led and left behind – apart from the people and the publicized bits – I feel like we’ll never really know how privileged she actually was, in the terms of a human with needs that may or may not have been met. You can have all the money and connection and opportunity in the world and still be thoroughly neglected/distressed. Heroin (and other heavy opiate) use is often the mark of a severely traumatized individual – drugs to fill in and erase the memories they repeat, otherwise. Find myself sorry – as I would be for any human (anonymous OR famous) who trekked that path, ever. Pity is pity is pity is pity?
I do pity her, because the twin horrors of family suicide and drug addiction are very hard to overcome without constant intervention. Look at Philip Seymour Hoffman – he had everything to live for, too, but that meant far less to him than his addiction. It’s insidious and all pervasive.
The fact that Geldof posted a photo of herself and her mother right before she died seems to indicate a simple suicide by heroin overdose rather than a relapse, but it might have been either or both and the family has chosen not to reveal this, which is their right. At any rate, we never really know what’s going on in other people’s heads.
I do feel sorry for her sons, her partner, her dad and her sisters. They are the ones suffering horribly now.
John, I’m sure Peaches loved ones would give everything they own if it meant Peaches would still be alive.
Yes. Many times postpartum depression or post-birth will flare up addictions. It’s possible she was clean but relapsed. My ex-SIL a lifelong addict, even though she is clean now, had a bad relapse after the birth of my niece. Addiction is very complicated and the addict is in a lifelong battle to control it. It’s not as easy as saying, someone should just stop.
I said this when Cory Monteith and Philip Seymour Hoffman died. I never watched Glee, so I wasn’t a fan of Cory’s but PSH was a phenomenal actor. That being said, I always have a hard time feeling sorry for celebrities who die from addiction when they have the money and resources to get the best treatment possible. Especially, when there are celebrity success stories out there of former addicts who have managed to beat their addiction and stay clean. They have access to all kinds of resources that normal addicts don’t, so already they have a built in advantage. Is it tragic? Absolutely, no question. I do feel for their families and friends, but the decision to use in the first place was an active choice. Like someone else said, I do think we tend to coddle addicts too much. By relegating it to a ‘disease’ that is out of their control, we are in a lot of ways giving up on them and enabling the continued use. It’s only when these celebrity deaths are due to car accidents or plane crashes in which they are simple passengers with no way out that I feel sorry for them.
It is a choice initially, and a stupid one, but at some point it is addiction. There is a difference. There is also a difference between empathy and sympathy.
It honestly makes me angry that she would use drugs with her young son. I can’t imagine doing that.
I know I’ll be yelled at for not understanding addiction but this is infuriating to me. I’m glad her son was not hurt by her actions
Her son has been irreparably hurt by her actions, as she was forever scarred by her mother’s actions. Maybe the heroin was her way of trying to feel close to her mother, feel what she felt. It’s so very, very sad for all.
She left many people emotionally scarred
It’s just scary how badly physically hurt her 11 month old could have been when left alone after she overdosed. Or he could have even died. Such an awful thing to do
It sounds like her husband kind of knew and that’s why he panicked. Also like he got his friend to clean up the scene.
It’s sad but also makes me angry that she would be so selfish
This. The poor, poor boy. He’s very young, but I believe he will deal with the death of his mother, which he obviously witnessed, his whole life. I really feel sorry for her children. No child should have to watch his mother die.
I can understand the anger but honestly with those 2 kids so close together maybe her hormones were changing and she suddenly didn’t have the “baby high” and possible even had post pardem.
Ugh its terrible and tragic and getting angry at her just seems…righteous. You don’t know what she went through and obv she tried to clean up. Heroin is a terrible drug. She was young. Perhaps a bit dumb. But I’d be willing to venture she was coming down from the baby high and was suddenly scared shitless faced with her own mortality. And she took the cop out by opting out by getting high. And it killed her. Have some restraint with the anger. And pray for those innocent boys.
Agreed!! While of course I’m sorry she died it makes me furious that she used drugs while she was the only one home with her baby. How was she supposed to take care of that little guy while high on heroin? At least call in a damn nanny if your going to use drugs around your children. Let them take the kids away where they can’t see you or be hurt by you while you are high.
Something very similar happened to the daughter in law of my mom’s friend. Her son and daughter in law were living in a basement apartment in her house with their son (so her grandson). The daughter in law stayed at home with the son and worked at night. A couple months ago, her husband came home to find their son (who was days away from turning three) upset saying mommy is asleep and not waking up. She was in her bed, dead from a heroin overdose. My mom’s friend was of course devastated and knew her son and grandson had suffered a horrible loss, but was also angry that her daughter in law would do heroin around her son and that he was alone with her body for hours after she died. These situations are tragic, but not too uncommon it seems.
My immediate thought was ‘didn’t she breastfeed?’ And yes she did, for longer than what’s considered the norm. If she was regularly using, she was putting that poison into her baby. Now that I have a problem with because there are other options. That’s messed up. So I hope that she relapsed that one time ( morbid I know!) and it was fatal (as for so many addicts).
This is such a sad situation, but I do feel a bit upset (almost angry) about how her son was involved. She knew that her mother’s death harmed her in a profound way. HOW could she do that to her own son, but even worse? How could she use such serious drugs when she was supposed to be caring for him? Even if she hadn’t died, her son would have spent hours with a woman who was high and unresponsive to his needs.
Babies form very important parts of their brain early on. Neglect causes serious problems in later life. Sitting in dirty diapers, crying, while no one comes to their aid is a VERY harmful thing to happen to children.
She died 14 years after her mother. What can be done to make sure this doesn’t happen to her children 14 years from now?
L
I am so sad for her children /family. I hate this drug with a passion. Heroin, meth, crack-these drugs are deadly. And I would give anything for them to cease to exist. But I know that can’t happen. I just wish people would never try them in the first place. You can’t OD from heroin if you aren’t addicted, and you can’t get addicted if you never try it at all. Poor kids. I hope they aren’t haunted by her actions like Peaches was by her own mother’s.
kri, sorry for asking here, but you can’t OD from heroin if you aren’t addicted? why? I’m seriously clueless as I never rubbed shoulders with any hard drugs, but I thought you could also accidently OD from first use if the dosage isn’t right… Or even after a long time since you used heroin the last time.
I like to think that’s the case with Peaches. Because it would be so much more tragic if she was addicted again for a time and nobody close to her was doing anything to stop it and/or get the children away from her. Addiction (and depression) are horrible, horrible problems and lead to extremely selfish actions. I’m not sure we can really fault her for overdosing in the presence of her son. I mean, of course we can because it’s incredibly irresponsible and insane, but depressed people and addicts aren’t thinking clearly – the whole world kind of fades until nothing is left except themselves and their problems.
She breastfed. Maybe was still breastfeeding. That baby, and possibly her older child too, now have opiate receptors. Just like Peaches probably did, as her mom used, and likely used during her pregnancy. Opiate receptors that will go into overdrive the first time they have a surgery and have painkillers, or are prescribed them for some reason, or are stupid and try heroin. Someone needs to warn those children at an early age the dangers they will face their whole lives.
I guess as an addict, I really had no choice but to sober up because my family had not one dime for any kind of rehab, and back then, there were far fewer choices. I didn’t have health insurance, and neither did anyone I knew at the time. My point is, sometimes the wealthy addicts have far less of a chance for recovery because the safety nets are enabling. I had two choices : recovery or homelessness. This Peaches girl had a home and a wealthy father; there wasn’t an obvious “rock bottom” for this lady, as wealth can disguise the outward signs of dysfunction.
I do feel that addiction is damn hard to deal with, but as a 15yr plus recovered person, I’m not 100% sure I’d call it a “disease” that takes over the cells like cancer. Yes, there are extreme neural changes due to prolonged use, but a strong mind can overcome addiction. Culturally, I feel there is too much coddling of addicts and not enough tough love. I guess I’ll get slack for my post, but I feel very irritable on the subject, because I had no rich daddy and not rehab, it was just me and my choice to be a better human being.
Homegrrl.. I think it’s absolutely wonderful what you’ve been able to accomplish. And I think you’re right, we do coddle addicts too much and make too many excuses for them. Saying addicts can’t help it if they can’t change I think demeans those that have turned their lives around through hard work and determination. And I think it’s giving up on the addict. Enabling them. We should be helping them to get sober, not excuse their behavior.
Yeah I feel the same. I just look at those little boys and think “Wow Peaches you had such a gift” So many people would give their right arm to have just ONE healthy baby of their own. They are so precious. Yeah I’m jealous and kinda angry. Most of all I’m so sad for those boys and her husband.
I have no sympathy for people like Peaches, Amy Winehouse, and all the rest. In my opinion they were bunch of spoiled brats who were not able to appreciate what they got from life.
I feel differently. I think it can’t be boiled down to some simplification. I think drug addiction is incredibly complex–it’s not just like, put it down.
@Nicole Well, slow clap for you and your “everything is black and white” mindset. Do you think addiction is that simple? As a lot of people have rightly said in this thread, it’s a disease, it’s not cancer, but it’s definitely a disease. Get some perspective honey, it’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be.
Nicole and Audrey, I agree with you. I’m sorry for her family, her children. But no empathy or sympathy for her. She, of all people, should have known better.
Thank you for being a voice of reason Dani2. The holier than thou mindset regarding addiction must stop.
Addiction is addiction. It’s not much of a disease. Someone decided to use an addictive substance (most likely knowing the symptoms) and became ADDICTED. It is pretty black and white. She chose to self medicate with an addictive substance and turned into a junkie using in front of her kids. There is nothing to this story except she had a known name. Everyone has their struggles, I don’t see anything tragic here.
Elizabeth, not much of a disease? I too struggle with that word and addiction, but it’s most definitely a medical condition, and I for one know what it can do to your head and your body. You might want to read up some more. It’s not nearly as simplistic as your post.
@Dani2
My black and white mindset makes my life much easier. Maybe you should try it. I hate when people are looking for excuses when situation can’t be more clear and obvious. Too bad that some people just don’t get it.
What Dani2 said.
Where does your great knowledge on this subject come from that you think this issue is so black and white? Medical science has so much to learn from you.
I am cynical in regards to a junkie using in front of children. I have seen addiction destroy people. They think about their fix all day because it’s the easiest way to cope. It’s a selfish life to live. I am raising my sister in laws sons because of her own heroin/meth habits. I will be the first to admit that I am extremely biased. I have watched her lose her mind over the years. It’s self medicating to deal with misery. I don’t see a disease at play here. It’s choices that turned these people into junkies. I understand it will be ongoing throughout life. But it’s not an excuse to use with children around.
@Nicole You obviously don’t know enough about the complexities of addiction so I’m done replying to you. Good luck with your disney-esque outlook on life.
If you had Peaches’ body chemistry you could have done the same thing. Think about that before you judge her so critically.
“If you had Peaches’ body chemistry you could have done the same thing. Think about that before you judge her so critically.”
I disagree 100%.
There are addiction issues in my family, and my brothers and sisters and I all adjusted our behavior in light of that. Family history/body chemistry doesn’t dictate that you will have to become addicted to a substance. If anything, it is additional warning that you should avoid certain substances and look at your actions for signs of addictive behavior.
@Nicole and @Elizabeth – I agree completely with what you are saying. Addiction is a consequence of a conscious and deliberate choice. Addicts are selfish, and make enough excuses for themselves without needing everyone around to join in and do the same. Comparing addiction to a disease is just another excuse and IMO serves to enable the addict even further.
If I choose to eat fast food daily there is a high likelyhood of weight gain as a consequence.
If I bake in a tanning bed regularly there is a high likelyhood my skin will age prematuretly as a consequence.
If I use heroine there is a high likelyhood of addiction as a consequence.
I’ve lost many people in my life to addiction, and struggled with my own demons. People who take personal responsibility and choose to avoid addictive and harmful substances generally don’t die suddenly at a young age leaving family and friends to pick up the pieces.
I have a family history of addiction. I’ve seen so many people I know destroy their lives over drugs.
So I choose to live my life away from those influences. I focus on my life and husband and daughter. I don’t look at drugs or alcohol as an option because I know where they lead.
I understand addiction is a struggle but some things are more important than escaping. I chose to stay away while others make another choice
bluhare — I support your thoughts, and your comments about her body chemistry etc are quite relevant. Addiction is not a simple “why can’t they stop it” issue — we may all wish that they could, but it’s a medical condition as well.
I’ll just add that this is so very sad for her children and family and friends.
Liberty, bluhare – i think no one says that it is simple to quit addiction. The point is, that in order to bring yourself to the state of being hardly addicted, you’d have to perform many deliberate repetitive actions during some period of time. And THAT responsibility lies solely on you. Point number 2, how irresponsible is that – being a heroin addict to start making children?
Of course addiction starts with a choice. If you are feeling depressed/panicked/horrible there are many options to cope with this and turning to drugs is probably one of the worst ones. So yes, bad judgement. But we also have to keep in mind that addictions start for many people at a very young age, during teenage years etc. So it’s one really bad choice often during a time most of use make some not-so-stellar-choices or stupid things but in case of drugs in can ruin your whole life. Because once you started the addiction circle it’s really, really hard to get out. And to say “just stop using substances and enjoy your life” never works. Unfortunately it’s not simple like that.
I bet she owed money for the heroin.
Heroin People are willing to risk everything, even life, for it.
Very sad, but the results are not surprising.
Not even a little bit surprising to those of us who are familiar with the complexity of addiction. As many of us were saying on previous threads, one doesn’t become “cured” of addiction-it is an ongoing struggle, a disease that must be managed.
Very, very tragic all around.
I really wish the outcome could have been different.
Regardless of the fact that she had passed on in this manner… her death is painful!!
Very nicely said.I had a feeling that is what happened.So sorry for her and her children.
This. Thank you.
So true. Very sad. I’m glad that her husband and his parents seem to be very nice people and have a very loving relationship with the two boys. That will help them, and they will need a lot of love and a safe and secure home to heal. I’m also glad that they have so many pictures and mini videos of them with their Mom that show how much she loved them. I’m sure that will help them heal in the future although will likely hurt as well. Hopefully their father and his family will help them understand that addiction is powerful and complicated, as is depression – especially pain and hurt from a young age, which is what Peaches dealt with after the death of her mother. That kind of pain can often cause skewed thoughts of worthlessness and makes one extremely prone to turn to drugs or alochol to block out those feelings.
I’m not excusing what she did, but it’s not as simple as people think…not the drug addiction and not the feelings of hurt and depression that lead people into it. A lot of people were really hoping that Peaches had finally found a happiness and love strong enough to overcome her demons and a reason to fight for herself to get healthy. I really didn’t want her death to be about drugs. Anyone who saw her pic/vids on Twitter could see how much she adored her little family. It’s very sad.
Wasn’t it implied that the family kinda knew? Like their statements implied something? Or maybe because of the whole history behind Yates and Hutchence…
I always found her sudden weight loss an indicator that she had many other problems that can’t be cured by having kids. Sad.
I’m not sure about her family, Bob didn’t support the family emotionally when Yates died, his selfish behaviour certainly didn’t help little Peaches deal with her mother’s death. Also no drug paraphernalia were found at the scene, who took it? Covering things up isn’t going to make reality go away. These things can’t stay hidden anyway.
TOK — well said.
Very sad indeed; addiction is hard to beat for a lot of people. My heart goes out to her children.
Yes. I did have some hope this wasn’t the case but….
Heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking.
It is. Those poor little boys.
Too sad.
I am so saddened by this, the whole thing with history repeating itself is so heartbreaking to me. And those two little boys wanting and needing their mum but never getting to be held or comforted by her is just heartbreaking, this whole situation is so sad.
Very sad that her children will likely be haunted by their mother’s untimely death just like she was. Too bad she wasn’t able to do better by them, although kids do usually seem to follow in their parent’s footsteps, good and/or bad.
It really is sad and I imagine that they will be somewhat angry with her in a way, that they’ll feel like she didn’t try hard enough to fight to remain in their lives but with time, they’ll understand that addiction is a very complex and difficult thing to combat. I get the feeling that she felt like she was alone in this and like her new good-mother-and-wife image held her back from talking about this and getting the help she needed. All in all, I’m just sad as hell, sad for her, and especially sad for those two little boys. I hope their father is an especially good one and that even though he will be grieving himself, that he can really be the kind of father these kids are going to need.
MTE Dani2.
I hope the best for those kids and their father, and that they live a life free from those struggles that took Peaches and Paula.
Sad as hell. I feel the same way Dani2.
I agree Dani2! It’s not easy raising little ones and her two boys were very close in age. You could see from pics in her Instagram that she was very tried…huge dark circles under her eyes. Plus they had just got a new puppy she was having trouble housebreaking. She didn’t have a nanny and was looking after the kids herself and like you said…she had this image of being a wonderful Mom and had become a vocal supporter of attachment parenting in which the Mom has her kids with her constantly. It could be that things were getting overwhelming and piled up and she was having trouble coping. It’s hard to fight against your own demons and depression when you are so tired, and let’s face it…as adorable as little ones can be, they can also be extremely frustrating and difficult…and her older son was probably just getting into the terrible 2’s. She may have felt like a failure and even embarassed to admit that she needed help and counselling; scared that might hurt the new image she was putting out there. It’s sad, because even the very best mothers out there can feel overwhelmed and like failures at times and it would’ve been a very positive message for all if she had been able to get help and show that getting help is okay and doesn’t mean you are a failure at being a Mom. Hormones can also be a very strange thing, and she had just had two babies in a short period of time.
Lovely post, Suzy from Ontario. It’s nice to see some empathy here.
Poor girl, what a waste.
Why, just bloody hell, WHY?
I read this on Twitter this morning and just audibly said Damn. I’m so sad about this. The upswing in heroin usage is terrifying. Damn.
I did the same. The outcome is the same but I had hoped she had overcome her addiction. Damn sad.
This is such a shame. Her poor children, my goodness.
And it makes me wonder…why is it that a woman like Brooke Mueller, who doesn’t seem to care at all about the children, thrives in her addictions, while this poor young woman–who apparently did love her babies very much–dies in such a sad way? I know, this is a strange question, but it did cross my mind…
Condolences to her loved ones, that’s all I can say.
🙁
I thought the same thing. It’s just sad all around.
Yes, Frida, it’s surely a valid question. Brooke seems actually BAD for and HARMFUL to her boys. Peaches seemed to be so much more loving and enormously sensitive. I think the answer lies in fragility: Peaches lost her own mother very early in life, and as a result she was fragile, keenly attuned to her own babies, and possibly haunted by the fear that she was doomed to repeat that sad maternal history. Brooke is tough, vulgar, and has shown herself to be utterly insensitive to the real needs of her children. Somehow, that has made her a survivor.
Doing heroin while taking care of your child is not a good parent. I don’t care how many pictures Peaches took with her kids and said how much she loves them, she was sick. An addict is incapable of being a good mother. Peaches should of not be allowed to parent her kids either like Brooke until she got the help she needed. She was just not in social services like Brooke. Why do you want to make one addict better than another?
Thank you! How does shooting up when left alone with an 11 month old make you a good parent exactly? SMH
It doesn’t. It makes you a complex human being with demons not even your children can help you with.
The issue with Brooke is that the system in the US is incredibly broken. Adoption is hard. Reunification with a birth parent is always the first priority until a judge rules otherwise. If Brooke has a roof for the children, makes continued contact, and tests clean then there is nothing that will take the kids away. It’s a sad, sad system.
The answer lies in the drug of choice. If Brooke was on heroin, believe me, she would have been long dead. Crack heads/meth heads/ coke heads rarely OD. They die later in life from a heart attack or anuerysm, or hardened arteries. Heroin will make you OD and die on the spot. People like Brooke Mueller and Lindsay Lohan aren’t dead because of their drug of choice and they probably know enough about their addictive natures to not go near heroin. It’s a shame because all the assholes are adderall/coke/meth heads.
I wouldn’t wish Brooke anything but to get better.
Nothing weird here. Meth v heroin. Its that simple. Far easier to die with heroin.
This is a thought provoking comment – didn’t see it from this angle before. You are right it really doesn’t make sense. I’m not sure if having videos will be helpful for them or make it even more heartbreaking in the future – it is hard to know waht to say.
This is so sad–her poor husband and sons.
This story has hit me hard from the beginning. Like Peaches, my mother died suddenly when I was very young (10) and I now have two small children. I guess it’s because my kids love the show Peppa Pig, but seeing that Christmas picture with the stuffed Peppa toy brought me to tears.
I don’t know Peppa from Adam, but that shot got me in my cockles too. This is so sad, her poor family, those poor little boys. My heart aches for all of them.
Does the never ending oinking on Peppa pig not bother you?
I’m sorry if i sound indelicate.. I am no doctor.. But how is it possible that the autopsy (done 2 weeks ago) was inconclusive and now the cause of death is heroin? Surely they would have found a needle hole somewhere in her body, or something testifying that. Am i wrong?
Surely near the body or in the house it should have been syringes or something next to her body. Surely her husband knew about her drug use and someone got rid of all the gear before the police arrived?
no?
All this has made me change my mind about her.. if she really loved her children she wouldn’t have put them in the same situation she was forced to live while growing up. I’m not saying she didn’t love them… but God knows what happened. Maybe she just wanted to numb the pain one more time and that was fatal on her frail body.
Someone cleaned up, you’re right. You don’t shoot up and hide needles right after.
What I thought. The police said they didn’t found drugs or stuff to use them and that her body wasn’t hurt. Someone cleaned up, which I find very weird.
I agree. Something was likely cleared away prior to the arrival of help/authorities.
Sad all the way around.
I believe they even had drug dogs search the house and garbage and found nothing. Someone had to have cleaned up the house.
I do wonder that there would be no signs on the body, though. Wouldn’t they have found needle marks or traces in her nose if she was snorting it? Perhaps they were waiting for toxicology to confirm or something…it is just hard to believe there were no physical clues even if there wasn’t paraphernalia around.
Yes, that’s why Seymour Hoffman was found with the needle in his arm. That means heroin-tainted needles were well within reach of the Phaedra for however long she was dead with him nearby.
I don’t care about hormones or relapses or anything else, those kids should never have been left with her, and if her husband knew she was using (which it seems he did, since he sent a friend over who was willing to tamper with the scene), maybe he shouldn’t be raising them, either.
And I have a relative who is a clinical pharmacologist, and she said it doesn’t take weeks for toxicology reports to come back, it takes a day, that’s just circle-the-PR-wagons lead time.
Like Lindy79 said, she could also have snorted it. Then there wouldn’t have been obvious evidence like punctures of the needle.
Her husband doesn’t seem to be very strong, but it seems like his family is very suppportive. Peaches mentioned that in an interview. Let’s hope that they take care of him and the boys.
It doesn’t take a week for results to come back once tested, but it can take that long for an inquest to be restarted, and for the backlog of other tests in the lab processed. She’s famous because of her father, but that wouldn’t lead to queue-jumping in the pathologists’ lab. She isn’t royal.
And her husband didn’t send a friend over, it seems. He and his mother drove down to Kent when she didn’t answer the phone – they found her and the baby there. I would suspect that she wasn’t using alone, and whoever she was with cleared up and cleared out. Unless her mother-in-law colluded in cleaning the scene, which sounds unlikely, really.
She could have snorted/smoked it, also the Times reported that the items indicating drug use may have been removed by someone in advance of the police arriving. She was reported as being alone with one of her sons so who that could have been is anyone’s guess.
The autopsy can only check the physical, there were no visible signs so they had to do toxicology reports from blood and tissue which takes longer to confirm.
Thank you. I am no familiar with drugs. This makes a lot of sense.
It could have been the friend who checked on her and called the police.
I agree that she probably snorted it, but wouldn’t there be heroin residue in her nose? Perhaps they make heroin pills now, or something, and she swalloved it? I don’t mean to speculate, I’m just wondering why it took so long for them to find out.
The evidence would still have been around and accessible to the baby.
Heroin is not only an injectable drug.
But there was no indication of packets lying around either.
Kiddo maybe she flushed the packet? Sounds so creepy and premeditate. Seems like she did want to die.
Or whoever brought the drug/was doing it with her, panicked and took all the evidence with them, PSH’s dealers were charged after the packets they sold him were found in his apartment. That or whoever found her hid it for fear that photos would be taken and leaked (we all know it happens).
perhaps she didn’t injected. Some snort heroine.
also some addicts have this “just one more time” and then it’s too much if you have been clean for a while. It’s very sad.
Yes exactly, and their tolerance from being clean is much lower so when they take something, it’s often too much for their body to handle.
I was wondering about that too, wasn’t that a possibility in Cory Monteith’s death (and probably countless others)?
My crackpot theory is she wasn’t alone at the time of her death. It sounds like someone cleaned up and bailed. It could have been the family friend that found her body but for whatever reason I don’t think she was on her own.
She could have easily snorted it in the bathroom and flushed the bag down the toilet. It was probably too much and she nodded off and didn’t wake up. Just because there isn’t evidence doesn’t mean some one was there to clean it up. She probably didn’t want the baby to get a hold of the baggy so she flushed it…its messed up but makes sense.
My “crackpot” theory is that Co$ quietly paid millions to stop speculation that her death was due to their Purif ritual. They’ve done it before, they do it now and they’ll do it until they irreparably botch a job.
I know a LOT about this organization. Between reading books, blogs, watching countless videos, protesting monthly in 2010 and meeting and talking at length with a handful of very well known outspoken defectors, I have a pretty good understanding of how they operate. They have too much to cover up, including their forced labor camps, the physical and mental torture of members, child slavery (yes, it continues to this day) killing members and making it look like suicide and something everyone knows- robbing people blind. They have a powerful presence in our government. They buy off judges, lawyers and any official that gets in their way. They break businesses. They will do Whatever. It. Takes.
And oh yeah, the entertainment industry. John Travolta is _not_ gay even though he admitted as much when his star was rising. Tom Cruise has never even heard the word homosexuality (to be fair, there’s no real proof.) Numerous other celebrities have glowing reviews once they defect and Co$ handles their exit with grace and dignity. The cult isn’t hateful, spiteful, paranoid, they never stalk or scare, they never, ever blackmail.
Hearing about the interesting circumstances of Peaches death fits their tired, predictable but somehow workable MO. I realize the strong possibility that Peaches might have begun using again- I really do. Everyone has their dark side. Everyone has their demons. If one is socially skilled, it’s not difficult to hide an addiction. But I’d bet money that once she allowed them control her health, she paid the ultimate price.
The authorities are aware someone cleaned up the house before police and paramedics arrived. While disturbing a crime scene is illegal in the UK, just as it is in the U.S., the police are not pursuing it, since it would serve no purpose.
Just because there may have been needles or needle marks is not conclusive. There is no way to tell without actual toxicology tests about what was in her system.
Yep. An inconclusive initial autopsy doesn’t mean there were no needle marks. Someone could be covered in tracks, and:
a) have died from something else (congenital disorder/disease), OR
b) have ridiculously high levels of the drug, (more than you’d expect in an accidental overdose), which in turn means they have to ask whether it was suicide, murder, or there’s a dangerously pure batch on the street.
It’s standard to wait 4-6 weeks for the toxicology report before determining exactly what happened.
Drug deaths are almost always inconclusive after the autopsy because it takes time to get back the toxicology report. Even if they suspect that it is an overdose, they will say “inconclusive” at first. Heroin use can damage organs. So when they do the initial autopsy they will see that damage and note that in their report.
The common heroin overdose happens not just because the person took too much but because of how heroin (and other opiates) affect the brain. Heroin subdues the part of the brain that keeps a person breathing when they are asleep, and heroin makes the person sleepy. This is why more police departments are having officers carry Naloxone. Because if the person is found soon enough, it can speed up the breathing and potentially save their life.
So, Merritt, does that mean the death is relatively painless?
In theory. But you can’t rule out a comorbidity that may be present. Drug use can affect the heart, lungs, etc. A person can have a heart attack while overdosing.
Probably someone cleaned up, yes. A needle mark wouldn’t have been found if she wasn’t injecting. Unlikely for a long term addict, but possible.
why are you assuming she shot up? that’s not the only way to take heroin. she could have smoked or snorted it.
Wow. This puts a different spin on the story now. If she was alone with her babies, and fully responsible for their safety and well-being, why the f*ck was she shooting heroin? Not exactly the mommy-blog material one expects from someone building an image as an dedicated mother (and obviously why the scene was cleaned up). Those children did NOT deserve this – and they are who I’m sad for. Truly sad.
Because she had a disease, that’s why.
I’m sorry but alcohol addictions, an drug addictions are not diseases strictly speaking it is not caught, addictions are consumer behaviors of psychoactive substances causing a psychological suffering and physiological troubles and the subject becomes more or less fast dependent
Actually there are several published medical studies that link genetics to the development of addiction. For example ; A NIDA-supported genome-wide association study recently found that a variant in the gene for a nicotinic receptor subunit doubled the risk for nicotine addiction among smokers (Saccone et al., 2007).
I am not saying that she definitely had addiction in her genes, like certain cancers, but it definitely is a possibility, given her public family history
A disease she gave herself and perpetuated. The comparison between addiction and disease makes me sick. Lymphoma is a disease. Parkinson’s is a disease. Addiction is a self imposed affliction. VERY different IMO.
Addiction is a disease. Consider it a mental disease. Maybe you also believe that people give themselves schizophrenia?
Umm, aenflex, she didn’t give herself the disease. She did give herself heroin.
@ Oops
you don’t catch cancer. it’s still a disease.
@aenflux Our bodies have things called sugar receptors that help us metabolize our food. Heroin is chemically similar to a sugar.
Because it’s so similar, heroin gloms onto these sugar receptors even though it doesn’t quite fit them. Then it chemically alters the sugar receptor so that it effectively becomes a heroin receptor.
Take heroin for long enough, and your body will have enough of these altered receptors in it that it will consider heroin an essential nutrient — i.e. something that it will die without.
Have you got the self-control to starve yourself to death in the presence of food? Because that’s the level of self-control you need to kick a heroin addiction. Your body considers it food that it needs to survive.
Taking drugs is a choice, but addiction is a physical state — an interplay of biology and chemistry. It is not wrong to call an unhealthy physical state a disease.
A person can choose not to do drugs, but they don’t get any choice in whether or not they are addicted. It’s a physical state.
This is the tone of most comments on news sites: but, but, she had babies! They healed her! She had new purpose!…Get over it people. The “mommy blog”, mommy-hood career is nonsense PR. She was very sick with addiction and emotional issues. Children cannot fix or “heal” you and it is not their responsibility to do so.
I was so frustrated with people that bought into that shit. As I said many times, this is very harmful in the sense that it perpetuates the idea that one can suddenly flip a switch and be cured of their addiction. Total falsehood.
I couldn’t agree more Mia and kitten
Preach it.
That is so true Mia. Children are not a band aid or some kind of cure. There are plenty of addicts who have had children and are still addicts.
I agree. I also worry about the effect of that theme on her kids as they get older. She said things like the kids filled a hole in her heart, made her whole, that helped her overcome her addictions. etc. What are they to think now, that they weren’t good enough? She set them up as a crutch in her comments, how are they not to think that they failed in their job to make her feel whole?
I second that in a massive way and I am a mother.
I agree though this won’t be a popular opinion. You’ll get the it’s a disease she can’t help it attacks. I’m sorry (and yes I WORK in mental health so I see this mess daily) but I don’t view her disease in the same manner I view a child who gets cancer. It’s a slippery slope we tumble down when we take personal accountability out of the scenario.
No, it’s not the same as Cancer and it doesn’t have to be. “Disease” is a very broad, encompassing term.
Bipolar Disorder isn’t the same as Cancer either.
Calling it a disease simply indicates that there are changes in the body. In the case of addiction, it’s changes in the brain.
If someone has heart disease, are you automatically taking away their personal responsibility by calling it a disease? No. The next step is for them to make the right choices to help them manage it-exercise more, eat less, etc.
Once an addict recognizes that they have a disease, they then have to take the proper steps to manage that just like someone suffering from heart disease does-avoid triggers, stay away from people that do drugs, seek support and counseling, etc.
+1. Personal accountability seems to be vanishing in today’s society. No one owns up to their actions. If she was so haunted by her mother’s death, how on earth could she ever for a moment present the possibility of her children suffering the same fate of losing their mother in the same way? And her baby was found beside her body. So getting high on heroin while caring for her young children seemed like a good idea? That’s not a tragedy, that’s gross irresponsibility. Sorry, my sympathy lies with her children.
Very well put OriginalKitten.
Calling addiction a disease does not excuse someone from personal accountability. I’m tired of hearing the nonsense that its different from cancer or mental illness….well duh! Of course it is. Cancer is different from heart disease and diabetes, two diseases which lifestyle choices contribute to it but I don’t see people judging them when they die because they did not stop what they were doing that contributed to their death. And certain cancers can be caused by lifestyle choices, too. Let’s stop with the judging, it does not help. I get that people don’t understand addiction… I don’t and I have an addictive personality! The difference with me and say others in my family is that I recognized the signs early on and chose a different path, I chose not to even try heroin, It’s really the only choice you have… to not do it to begin with. Because one you do, you become hooked and it is hell to get off of it. It is hell to manage it every day. It stays with you for the rest of your life, like mental illness does.
Addiction is a disease. A self inflicted disease, like people get self inflicted diabetes. Once you are an addict it should be classified as a disease and treated as such.
How does it work being more genetically prone to being an addict? If I don’t have the gene to make me prone to be an addict then I can do more drugs more often without being addicted?
If it is a disease then why is it penalized in the criminal justice system? They only put people in jail in this country if you are doing something wrong?
everyone knows if you do drugs you have the chance of being an addict. When you play Russian roulette do you cry when you get the bullet?
Uh no actually, the only “self-inflicted disease” is Munchausen Syndrome so please try again.
GOOD LORD. People don’t get thrown in jail for being addicts. They don’t get prosecuted in a court of law because of their disease, but for using illegal substances.
Like, what the hell kind of an argument is that?
MaryIV, I didn’t choose to be an alcoholic. Alcoholism and addiction chose me. You have no idea what I would do to change that if I could, but I can’t.
The aggressively liberal stance is somewhat overpowering on this site at times. Peaches neglected herself and her 11 month old when she indulged in heroin that day, she put herself and, what people will now focus on, an innocent who was dependent upon her in physical danger. A lot of people aren’t going to get over that fact, whether addiction is a disease or not. If someone with heart disease left their 11 month old home alone to get a McDonalds and died of a heart attack while eating would people focus on the tragedy of disease or the fact that that person neglected their child, the disease argument is not valid here. It is a tragedy that she died so young, it is a tragedy for her 2 boys, her husband, her family and all who loved her.
So it’s aggressive liberalism behind the 200 plus comments here saying that Peaches is a terrible mother who willingly abandoned her children?
Wow, who knew liberals were such cold mother*ckers……
Yeah no. If a mother died of a heart attack while eating a burger I can GUARANTEE that people wouldn’t be faulting the mother, claiming she abandoned her children and calling her a terrible mother.
They’d be empathizing and saying it’s tragic that she died.
Geldof didn’t leave her child home alone–she was in the home with her.
@TheOriginalKitten A mother dying of a heart attack is different. She isn’t putting her child in harm’s way around a deadly substance. Peaches didn’t neglect the child. It was child endangerment. She couldn’t properly care for the child in her state of mind. Eating a burger and dying of a heart attack is a far different situation.
@ Elizabeth– I was drawing a comparison to heart disease in terms of being called a disease only. I was not comparing eating a burger with shooting up heroin. Please re-read.
Lordnicole was the one who used that analogy and I responded to her comment accordingly.
@TheOriginalKitten you were speaking about if a mother would be at fault. Peaches would be at fault for endangerment.
I never said you were comparing the severity of the two diseases but the public’s view on the mothers. I am saying Peaches is at fault for endangering her child. Her fault is not abandoning, it’s endangering. I would feel that is why the public would view the two differently.
Yes, we agree on this. I never thought it was an apt analogy at all, which was why I didn’t make it.
Her mummy-blog things really read like she was struggling though. Not in a way that would raise any flags at the time (what mum of two young babies hasn’t been reduced to tears from sleep deprivation) but with hindsight and all that it sounds like it was more than just a young mother being overwhelmed.
Addiction is an illness, I won’t pretend to understand it, I don’t but I’m learning how all consuming it can be and while I want to sympathise, like you, Lee, I’m truly horrified for her children.
The fact of the matter is she imploded and her infant son had to sit next to his mother’s corpse and wait for someone to find him for who knows how long, a few hours at least. It’s hard to feel empathy for someone who would unintentionally (but knowingly potentially) put their child in that situation.
Children don’t necessarily fix your problems, but the desire to be a good parent and protect your child should and often will help overcome those demons. Your priorities change and it’s not just about you. I feel sad for those boys. Who would clean up and leave them there with her body? What a troubling thought.
I’m relying to original kitten here: You can cause diabetes by your weight being to high and not having a healthy diet. It’s called type two diabetes. You can also cause yourself to have heart disease by your diet.
Using drugs is a symtom of addiction, so in part people are being prosecuted for their addiction. I wasn’t making an argument about drug offenders being in jail. It was more a statement that science needs to catch up with society. If it is a disease then why punish people?? It’ confuses the argument if the law says you have to be punished if you use drugs but scientist say its a disease.
I still think it’s a self inflicted disease. You change your brain and body so it needs the drugs. How about the people who are not hard wired for addiction? It just seems like drugs ,no matter if you are hard wired to be addicted or not will change your brain chemistry to make you at some point addicted.
It’s pointless really, like the chicken and the egg. It’s doesn’t really matter for an addicted if it’s a disease or not ( that’s for sciencest to figure out), All it matters is that an addict gets what they need to get better. That’s the same if you think its a disease or not.
I’m a social worker and have worked with addicts daily. I try to find a rehab for them to go to, and I have cheered many who have finished their program. I have seen people give up their children to drugs. We need more affordable rehab for people. The wait list are months long.
I feel sorry for Peaches and her children. No matter if addiction is a disease or not a young girl lost her life.
Blluhair: I’m sorry for your struggles and I wish you the best of luck. I will think about what you told me when I struggle to understand addiction.
Decided not to respond.
Thanks for your insensitivity, Lee!!
Regardless of the circumstances, the tragedy lies with family and friends having lost a loved one.
Let us not forget she was a human being, and was struggling with her own inner ‘demons’…
She was clearly not in her right mind at that time, something was deeply wrong, let’s respect that!!
Well said Lee
The power of maternal instinct is often overestimated. Once a woman becomes a mother, the society thinks that she’s supposed to love her child and put his/her interests above everything else. The problem is that it’s not always the case. There might be a huge number of reasons – from psychological to financial – that strangle that instinct. And it’s not that woman’s fault =(
THIS + 1000!!! What kind of mother who is ALONE with a small child uses drugs knowing there is no one else in the house who can take care of her baby son if she blacks out or is hurt. At least have a friend come over and watch the kid while you trip. Or send the baby with Dad and do it alone in your house. But don’t agree to be the caregiver that day and then use drugs in front of the helpless child.
@Maryiv, to answer your questions, if you aren’t genetically predisposed to being an addict, yes you may be able to do drugs recreationally for years without becoming addicted, however for most people who aren’t addicts drugs will become dull after a while because the original high can never be achieved. I’m not saying they can’t become addicts, but it is much less likely. To answer your question of why we jail addicts instead of treating it as a disease…the answer is simple…$$$$. If you are looking at the prison and justice system as a moral compass, you are looking in the wrong place. How can it be justified that an addict (using not dealing) can serve 20 years when a child molester or murderer can be out in a decade? That war on drugs hasn’t worked out so well for many.
I agree, Lee.
I hate to speak ill of the dead, but there’s really no way to sugercoat this: Doing drugs while she was alone in the house with her baby was incredibly selfish and irresponsible, especially given what happened with her own mother and youngest sister. Addiction is a terrible thing, but Peaches had the resources to easily find someone — whether a friend or a nanny — to take care of her son for the day. Instead, she chose to follow in her mother’s footsteps.
It occurs to me that I should make it clear that I’m not the new Violet, who started posting here a few months ago but appears to be a regular at CDAN. I don’t usually read CDAN but had some time on my hands this morning, so I browsed the site; I see from the comments on the CDAN Peaches post that, as usual, new Violet and I don’t see eye to eye.
She made a bad choice early in her life, probably to deal with emotional pain, and ended up with the disease of addiction. Some people end up in the same boat after they’ve had to use prescription medications for physical injuries. Some get addicted to sugar or other legal substances that lead to various diseases. Science has shown that brain chemistry does predispose individuals to addiction, or the urge to self medicate. I suppose that’s one reason why addiction is classified as a disease.
It’s nice to see a logical post amongst all the righteous indignation. Thank you.
This is so terrible for those left behind, hopefully, the kids don’t repeat it. But it’s what we all suspected.
I’ve seen some pretty nasty things written in comments about Bob Geldof, but I don’t know why. Can anyone explain this? I thought he was big into charity.
I actually wondered the same thing!!
Poor woman, in the end she couldn’t fight off her demons. RIP
I can only think it’s because some felt he was responsible for Michael Hutchence’s death as they had been speaking that day and allegedly argued over the phone regarding the custody hearing between Geldof and Yates. Hutchence was depressed and on drugs and some believe killed himself.
That and some just think he’s a preachy hypocrite.
(not me personally)
Okay, thanks. People were calling him a saint in an obviously sarcastic way, but I had no idea why.
I remember him being the one who initiated the whole feed the people in Africa especially Ethiopia if I’m not mistaken after watching something on tv, he then called all those artists and Do They Know it’s Christmas was done then LiveAid. I read somewhere that he was really upset at some of his friends and stopped talking to them because supposedly some of them had something to do with Paula Yates having a relationship with Michael Hutchence….I wish there was social media back then. I believe the 80s was a full drugfest with artists who had a clean image
Kiddo: Saint Bob was a tabloid moniker given to him by the British press for his crusading for LIVE AID and Ethiopia and the famine.
It took on a sarcastic/Ironic tone during his divorce battle with the Yates/Hutchences, including Michael’s family, because a lot of what came out about his personal dealings was less than flattering and showed someone who whilst trying to save perfect strangers wasn’t so good with those close to him on a personal level.
Thanks Lak, I was genuinely curious. I guess that’s not uncommon with people in general though. If you had to balance, which side of the scale would tip? In terms of what he contributed to the world, negative or positive, or is it a wash?
Well he has no clue as to why there is poverty in Africa for starters. Just search for ‘Gleneagles agreement Bob Geldof’ and you’ll see.
And while he was a good father to all of the children, he kind of ignored the issue of them having an addicted and then dead mother.
The very worst thing that happened to me started with my parents’ divorce,” Peaches stated in an interview with Elle magazine in 2012. “My mother… turned into this heartbroken shell of a woman who was just medicating to get through the day. On top of that, there was my father who was very embittered and depressed about it and for us children, an environment that was impossible, veering between a week with my mother that was complete chaos, and then with my father, which was almost Dickensian – homework, dinner, bed – because he was trying in his own way to combat what was going on at my mother’s.
In trying to deal with Yates’ behaviour, he ignored the children’s needs. They needed to understand. you can’t ignore these type of things.
Then there is the issue of Hutchence’s parents not being allowed to see their grandchild and they were also upset because Geldof wanted Tiger Lily to have his surname. I don’t know how that debacle ended though. Btw, Geldof is patron saint of a charity for grandparents who aren’t allowed to see their grandchildren.
Thanks. That was comprehensive.
bit late to this but i actually heard that the Live Aid concert Bob is famous for was actually the brainchild of another 80’s musician, Midge Ure, and Bob Geldof just got invited to help but ended up taking most of the credit. It’s a bit of a blurry issue, but it’s definitely true that Midge Ure was the brains behind the idea and ended up being written out of history on it a bit.
I know that’s why some of my friends don’t like him. It may be true to some extent but I always thought it was cool that he adopted Tiger Lily so she could live with her sisters. I actually think he did that for the right reasons.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
It seems not even those who loved this young woman so much knew how much pain she was in. This is just tragedy on top of tragedy.
Addiction really doesn’t give a crap about how much you love your kids, husband or friends, it is a constant demon that will live with you forever. Everytime things go wrong (even small things), it will be there to ask if it can take the problem away for you. How long you live depends on the type of drug you use.
Her story was that she turned her life around in just 2 short years, had 2 babies one after the other and became a success story. I have seen women and men that are not prone to addiction and for whom marriage and babies were incredible stressers, not because they were bad, just because they were big changes.
In my opinion it takes at least 5 years for a serious addict to stabilize himself/ herself, after which they can start considering taking care of another person (adult or child), not just themselves. But no addict will ever want to wait that long, they usually need to offer love, care, attachment or pleasure to others, mainly because they can’t love themselves. The sad part is that someone will always take what they offer and will not inquire any further. I believe this is what happened in this case, no one inquired further.
Agreed with every word, @als.
ALS, you are dead on! I think she loved her kids but her disease rendered her incapable of being the mother she must have wanted to be.
Lovely post, als.
“In my opinion it takes at least 5 years for a serious addict to stabilize himself….. But no addict will ever want to wait that long, they usually need to offer love, care, attachment or pleasure to others, mainly because they can’t love themselves. ……someone will always take what they offer and will not inquire any further.” – ALS
God, that’s heartbreaking. This describes a dear friend who’s never lived alone her entire life. Four marriages later, she still hasn’t found what she’s looking for.
Thank you, ReignbowGirl. Everyone of us here need compassion more than condemnation. I hope and wish for a better day where we can move away from the the criminalization of addiction and the rush to judgement.
RIP, Peaches, and my sincerest condolences to her little boys and her family she left behind.
That’s a lovely sentiment to keep in mind, ReignbowGirl. I’m going to have to put that somewhere and try to remember it daily.
Sorry did I read that right, that her infant son was by her side when her friend discovered her body? So she od’d while home alone with her son. That is so very sad and wrong. That poor boy.
I’d like to know if this was anything like Cory Monteith’s tragic passing. Everyone has moments of weakness and addiction is a life long battle, Peaches shouldn’t have her “good mommy title” ripped away because she had this dark cloud hanging over her. Just because someone is struggling doesn’t mean they are incapable of being a good parent, I very much doubt that this overdose was intentional or she wouldn’t have put her baby son through that, she already had to deal with the shame of falling off the wagon and facing her son..no way would she of done it if she’d of realized how easily it was to fall into her Mother’s fate. Have some respect for the dead, since more often than not we can’t even respect them when they’re alive.
No she should have her “good mommy” title taken away from her because she got high on heroine when left alone with an 11 month old. For gods sake she CHOSE drugs over caring for a baby of less than a year. NOT OK EVER.
I’m sorry RachelY but you are heartless. This poor woman is dead because she made a bad decision not because she is a terrible person. Her family has to live with the fall out and you saying she’s not a “good mommy” is the very last thing anyone needs to hear. Go live in Paradise, it must be wonderful, and allow the rest of us, here on earth, to have compassion for a troubled and dead young woman and her motherless sons.
Those poor children. Just the image of her baby by her side when she was found – I can’t. What’s just as disturbing is the suggestion that the scene was cleaned up before the authorities arrived. If that is true, then whoever did the cleaning up deliberately left the baby by Peaches’ body before they exited the house. THAT is awful, and a real junky move.
That mental image makes me cry as well, this whole thing is just one big tragedy
I can’t either. That poor little guy. Some tiny saving grace is that he won’t remember it but the whole scenario makes me shudder.
This and the fact she still presumably breastfed. I hope for her sons’ sake this was a one-time relapse.
THIS.
How did her husband not know she had relapsed?
Maybe he did. Maybe he’s an addict or maybe he was trying to get help and none of that was leaked, who knows?
Addicts are very, very good at hiding behavior. And often those closest to them go into denial about the addict. This has been my experience with addiction in my family. Someone else’s experience may be different.
THIS^^^^^^^
I agree, but her appearance was very consistent with heavy use.
Was it though? She fooled a LOT of people, as evidenced by the comments on previous Peaches-related threads.
When my ex was deep in his addiction, he was very, very thin. But as someone who saw him every other day, I hardly noticed it. I didn’t really recognize how skinny he was until after rehab, when he had put on a bit of weight (he is naturally very slender). Whether it was denial on my part or just the fact that I saw him so often that I couldn’t perceive the gradual changes, I’ll never know.
Well she was considerably heavier until her later days. So I guess one could believe that she had a VERY restrictive diet or disorder instead. But if someone had a history, recovered, then you might have some suspicions as to the appearance. However, I wasn’t intending to place blame anywhere for her death, other than that it was a self-inflicted accident. Like I said, for all we know, her husband or any number of people could have even known and tried to help her, or they could have been fooled, or they were also participants. We just can’t know.
I think people in her life may have had their suspicions, but I don’t believe anyone would have left her in the house alone with her children if they thought she was going to use heroin with them in the house.
Presumably he did know (or worry) – sending a neighbour round to check because your wife doesn’t answer her phone in the middle of the day suggests not all was well/he was aware.
V sad. Even sadder that this is happening all the time to people who are not news worthy. Poor families who are affected.
Very good point, AmandaPanda. She was found pretty quickly as I recall.
I feel bad for the boys. Not all children follow in their parents’ footsteps. My best friend from high school lost her mother at age 4 from drug use and suicide and her mom actually held my friend in her arms while she was dying. My friend has gotten past her own demons, and is successful and happily married. I also grew up with a severely alcoholic father (who is now 7 months sober at age 67). I saw myself going down his road, got help for it, and dealt with things I’d been hiding/holding in my whole life. I’m also now successful and thriving. It can be done.
I wonder about PPD.
2 babies, so close, can do absolutely crazy things to your body and mind.
I choose to believe she had cleaned up, was suffering from PPD, could tell no one, and went back to her old ways to relieve the pain.
I am probably totally wrong, but this is such a tragic story in any case.
There! finally someone who is talking sense….Two babies in such a short period of time…battling demons and addictions? Throw in some post-partum depression on top of that? All very sad and tragic indeed 🙁
I was thinking the same thing, I wonder why nobody is talking about PPD. I guess her blog was a lot of sweetness and light about motherhood but obviously there was trouble under the surface. Tragic in any case.
Please don’t do drugs, peopke! This is just too sad.
So sad. Addiction is a nasty cycle with heroin at the lead of hardest to quit substances. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, but it can kill. I feel so bad for her children who will grow up without a mother.
Fork in the road. One way or the other — very tragic. I hope her sons go the other way.
I’m going to be very insensitive but this idiot( who had more chance than many) was drugged in front of her kid! I have no pity for her. Just pity for their kids!
I certainly hope that if her husband also uses, he will get his life together for the sake of those children. Those boys will need him more than ever.
Speaking of her kids, is the father also an addict? I hope not…
Also, is heroin illegal in the UK?
very sad. i feel awful for her babies and her husband.
Addiction may be a disease or something you cannot control but she CHOSE to take heroin whilst her child was present. That is unforgivable.
This. I feel bad for her family and real pity for her as an addict. It can be hard not to relapse as an addict (especially with the emotional strain of being “turned around perfect mom!” All the time). I don’t know why she would do it in front of her kids, though, and risk falling asleep and having them hurt themselves. If she killed herself, as I suspect she did, she was using her kids as props in her own tragic death scene and/or as comfort for herself as she passed. That’s not fair to her kids, and I do judge her for that.
You’re applying rational thinking to someone who is incapable of thinking rationally.
THIS is what addiction does to people.
You don’t have to understand it or agree with it, but if you have empathy you’ll find a way to accept it.
People who are addicted find themselves doing things they would never DREAM about doing-desperate things, unconscionable things, careless things, immoral things. They are simply NOT capable of thinking things through the way a sober person can.
I don’t know how else to explain this to people but the addicted brain does not have the ability to think premeditatedly–there is no concept of future or consequences–addicts literally live moment to moment.
They do not see anything past the drug.
It enslaves them.
Peaches wasn’t thinking “I’m going to set up this next fix and let my kid wander around the house unsupervised. Sure, I may end up dead and my child motherless, but it’s worth the gamble!”
All she’s thinking is “I need this drug now.”
That’s it.
There is no ability to see beyond the high—-it is all-consuming. To the outsider it appears selfish but you have to understand that she CANNOT stop it.
I’m a bit mixed on that. I understand addiction, at the same time, there is a choice involved to get clean and most especially, once you have gotten clean, you have a choice to remain that way, whether through white knuckling, meetings, replacement meds and so on. More importantly, there is also a choice to leave your kids with a sitter or with someone else where they would be safe, if you decided to embark on bad journey again.
So there was an element of abuse that she put her children through. You can argue that it was drugs talking, or her lack of priorities, but exposing children to that is abuse, and it sets up the potential for the kids in the same direction. She saw her mother abuse drugs and went the same route. See what I’m saying? Addiction is a disease, but if you are feeling like there is going to be an episode where you can’t cope, you need to seek treatment. We can’t remove the element of choice, even if it is a very difficult one. And even if you make that choice, you shouldn’t subject others, especially kids who have no autonomy, directly to that devastation.
Adding: I just wanted to salute the people here, who have worked hard to turn their lives around.
“Addiction is a disease, but if you are feeling like there is going to be an episode where you can’t cope, you need to seek treatment. ”
But here you’re taking the addiction in and of itself and not factoring in the depression.
If you take addiction and combine it with a medical or psychiatric disorder, the problem compounds itself. Coexisting disorders are the main factor in preventing addicts from seeking treatment.
When we’re talking about the difference between an addict who gets clean and one who relapses, almost always a secondary disease is at play for the ones who are unable to quit.
This is kind of my issue with speaking in broad, sweeping terms about addiction. I realize my initial comment wasn’t specific enough to address the variables and underlying complexities behind addiction, but I was speaking specifically about the fundamental irrationality behind the disease that so many people have difficulty understanding.
The emotional motivations that affect the Limbic system feels closer to instinct-it’s not a conscious, deliberate way of thinking.
Here’s a link that explains it much better than my clumsy attempt here:
http://www.addictscience.com/irrationality/
@TheOriginalKitten, no doubt and of course there is a link between self medicating and co-morbid mental health conditions. However, people do get clean because they decide to. It’s incredibly difficult. But I think it’s a dangerous narrative to assert that one can’t overcome those drives, or be taught different behaviors to address those drives when they happen, especially in concert with an episode of depression. To say that there is no free will is to accept defeat. That is one point I was trying to make. I’m not saying she was terrible person, but if she was doing drugs with her children present, then she was doing terrible things. It’s the actions, not the person. But there is absolutely no denying that that type of behavior is damaging to children and Peaches, in fact, is a prime example of the damage that it causes. This is not to say that I have no sympathy for her.
Who’s saying there’s no free will?
We are in agreement.
I think my point has been over and over is that it is a disease but you can manage it. My ex has been clean for 8 years, but he knows to avoid triggers and he also cannot be on pain meds if he has surgery etc.
He also does not suffer from depression or any other mental health issue or psychiatric disorder.
I was simply describing the motivations behind an addict’s way of thinking, never did I imply that there is no choice there. I simply tried to explain that the way an addict chooses is different than the way a sober person chooses.
O’Kitt, I hadn’t read all of your posts I was only responding to the last thing from the commenter above. DO NOT KILLZ ME. I am going through it now.
I won’t killz you.
I’m just over-invested in this thread.
I keep trying to leave and it just pulls me back in and I start screaming at everyone again.
How do I stop? I think I suffer from blog post addiction.
It’s a disease, I tell you!
I hope nothing I said make bluhare feel bad. 🙁
Aw, Kiddo. You didn’t. It’s a very complicated topic and one that I don’t know all the answers to even though I have to deal with it every day. I almost always welcome discussion, and I learn a lot from it. I don’t appreciate people being judgmental and preachy though, and you aren’t. And even if you had been, that lovely comment would have made it all better.
You get a big-ass bluhare SMOOCH!!!! for that one. And made me glad I broke my promise to myself and came back in to check. 🙂
@bluhare, thanks, bluhare. *Mwah* back. Rereading my last comment, I sound like Tarzan, “No make bluhare feel bad”. LOL, I’m a twit! I meant “made”.
I feel everything all at once so I cant even imagine what her family is feeling. just terrible.
When I saw this report I said aloud “Oh no Peaches!!” I just feel great disappointment and sadness. I wonder how much counseling she had from time of her mother’s demise to her addictions to becoming sober then becoming a wife and mother. She obviously suffered a great deal and tried medicating it with drugs. Sometimes you really need your mother and if not her a strong support system. I can understand the anger hearing this because you can be angry over a life wasted and a family devastated.
I would like to think this death, along with so many other unfortunates, will illuminate just how dangerous heroin use is. But probably not. “She should have cleaned up for the kids” and “she CHOSE to do drugs in front of her son” and similar observations are unrealistic. Choice had little to do with it. This young woman was a heroin addict. That’s not a coffee addiction or cigarette addiction. It’s not even an adderall or meth addiction. It’s heroin. What was that recent confession going round recently? “Heroin is better than sex” It’s better than food, better than love, better than money, better than your self respect, better than God, better than your kids. It is unlike anything most of us will ever experience. Will power, parental responsibility, and “pulling it together” will not necessarily save you. In fact, they rarely will. Once you’ve tasted it, you’re done. Game over.
I’ve never understood the appeal of drugs, and especially not after my experience with prescription opiates. I was prescribed oxycodine for a painful injury and all it did was make me nauseous and intensely lethargic. It alleviated the physical pain for the most part, but there was definitely no ‘high’ sensation, or even a feeling of relaxation or contentment. Maybe different people respond differently to them.
I think people break up them where there is a high, as opposed to a sustained release into the system.
They wipe off the time-release coating, then crush and snort or vigorously chew and swallow.
Yes, people do respond differently to opiates. If you had serious emotional pain when you were prescribed them, your experience would have been very different. They are just as effective as alleviating emotional pain as physical pain. The “high” is simply the absence of emotional pain. It is hard, if not impossible, for happy, emotionally stable people to understand.
I’m glad to hear that Sir Bob has been visiting the kids. I know from comments Peaches had made on Twitter that she was very angry and disappointed in her father who did not seem to have much, if any, relationship with her children. Maybe the one positive thing her death has brought is him starting to get to know the kids and forming a relationship with them.
I was one of the baddies here who thought she had OD’d when people wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Her heroin use was well documented before having children and she seemed depressed (and told her husband she was bored) with being a full time mommy. I’m sure she tried but motherhood doesn’t always make everything better. I think she was having emotional and maybe even psycological issues (she believed her house was haunted). At any rate the story is very sad and hopefully her children will be able to break the cycle.
She was surely battling quite a lot. Funny thing about motherhood is it often dredges your own buried childhood issues to the surface. And Peaches had more than her share of those.
Good point. I really think she tried, but it was so far away from her own upbringing it must have been hard.
Sorry, “psychological” as in mental issues. I think she was going crazy with that ghost hand stuff or she was using it for attention.
Also agree with your point. While children may be the motivation for many people to get clean and change their lives, it can also be a very emotional and stressful time. For someone who is used to getting through these things with some type of substance, it is going to be even more difficult.
People who CHOOSE to do Heroin know they are playing a game of Russian Roulette with their lives so I have ZERO sympathy for people that die from it but I do have sympathy for this girl’s two young children hopefully they grow up to have happy well adjusted lives and not follow in the path of their Mother and Grandmother.
Peaches use has been documented in the media back to the age of 15. So she probably first tried it as a young teenager. People make mistakes. Particularly kids. Particularly kids who have just experienced a massive tragedy. Have some compassion.
You are so uncompassionate it makes me sick. You clearly aren’t educated enough to know anything about addiction, so I won’t waste my time trying to explain it to you. Shameful, just shameful.
Wow! The judgement…the addict shaming! I became addicted to perscription pain-killers, “hill-billy heroin”, after several surgical procedures. What was my “choice”? Years later, I developed clinical depression….and after trying many anti-depressants…I came to realize nothing made me feel better, quicker than opiates. Almost all addicts suffer from underlying mental illness; so they don’t make decisions as well as most. And on top of that, addiction itself is a mental illness. Anyhow, the misinformation on this thread is alarming. FYI, I’m clean now…
Damn.
Heroin is illegal in the UK, both possession and supplying. I don’t think it’s likely that someone cleared up and left. I suspect the person who discovered her and the baby or another person, who arrived later before the police, did it and then waited with the baby.
The comments here are unbelievably callous not to mention incredibly judgmental and crass.
The woman lost her mother at 10 years old and suffered from depression on top of addiction and by all accounts could never get over her mother’s death. I guess because she became a mother herself she’s suddenly not allowed to be a human being anymore, not allowed to be sad, not allowed to feel empty or hopeless, not allowed to feel lost or overwhelmed.
Not to mention the fact that this thread proves how misunderstood addiction really is. Very sad that instead of listening and understanding, people see fit to judge and condemn–not helpful or productive in any way, shape, or form.
Thank you for saying that!! Exactly!!
People who seem harsh may have experienced suffering at the hands of an addict. It’s hard for many people to have understanding and empathy for some addicts when a person may have had their bank accounts raided by an addict, been physically abused by an alcoholic partner, or endured other horrors.
The collateral victims of an addict can suffer a lot more than the addict himself/herself.
Ok but that’s not at all what I’m seeing here.
Peaches Geldof didn’t rob or physically abuse any of these commenters–she’s the subject of this story, not ‘addicts in general’.
What I’m seeing is a lot of misguided people trying to apply rational thinking to an addict’s brain and it just doesn’t work that way.
I’m seeing a lot of misconceptions and indifference, instead of empathy and a desire to understand.
It’s disheartening to say the least.
And people who ARE harsh (no seem about it) aren’t talking about their family’s problems; they’re being Perfect Mommies dissing someone else. It’s ugly.
EXACTLY, bluhare. It’s all coming from a need to “feel better than” and it f*cking sucks.
Agree 1000000000%. Thank you. I’m not coming back to this thread it’s so ugly to read.
@bluhare It is very ugly to read, I’m out.
Obviously people weren’t hurt personally by Peaches Geldof; it’s their reaction that can be borne out of bitter experience with addicts. Maybe people aren’t saying they had such experience, but I bet many commenting have had it. It’s a lot to expect empathy and understanding from those who have seen the damage addicts can cause.
If addicts only hurt themselves, people would be a lot more empathetic.
That’s a HUGE leap to make the assumption that many people commenting here have had bitter experiences from dealing with an addict.
HUGE.
LEAP.
TRUTH TIME: The vast majority of addicts aren’t out there raping and pillaging, robbing innocents and killing babies–most are seemingly “normal” people like you or I. They’re your neighbor, your co-worker, the guy that sells you lotto tickets at the 7/11 up the street. They mind their own business and suffer through their disease quietly, unobtrusively.
Not to mention the fact that most people (and I’m speaking from personal experience) who have been impacted by a loved one who suffers from addiction will take the time to understand addiction and how it works. You know, because you LOVE that person and want to help them.
You don’t take it personally, you don’t become “bitter” because you understand the mechanics behind the disease. The education makes you more open and understanding, not angry and recalcitrant.
So no, sorry, but I’m not buying your rationalization of ignorant, hateful comments.
@jc126
As an adult child of an alcoholic, I believe you have a valid point.
From my experience, ACOAs (or people that grow up with any sort of addict) seem to fall into two extremes when it comes to any sort of substance abuse, either being super-understanding (sometimes to the point of becoming addicts themselves, such as Peaches) or refusing to accept addiction as an excuse for irresponsible, often criminally reckless, behavior. Obviously, I fall into the latter category.
My dad, who in every other regard is a lovely human being, still cannot (or will not) understand the collateral damage caused by his drinking. It’s taken me YEARS of therapy to forgive him (only possible because he very rarely drinks these days) and my mother (for enabling him).
What bothers me most is that Peaches knew firsthand what the consequences of her actions could be and, despite having the resources to get help — whether just someone looking after her baby that day, or going into rehab to kick her drug habit — chose to be reckless not only with her own life, but her baby’s.
To what jc said, with all respect I think it’s the opposite.
I’m betting that the people with the harshest judgements are ones that don’t have much experience with addicts and are probably the ones that defended her in the begining thinking that motherhood turned her around.
When the news first came out, I thought she OD’d and said so in that board. It was not to be callus but realistic that heroin is a drug you can kick for a while but one relapse can kill you.
But really I think depression killed her. It was such a big life change and she was not equipped to handle it. Two young kids, life away from the fast lane…lots of time to reflect on your own childhood and become dressed and paranoid.
She was very into the paranormal and believed her house was haunted. I think she sank into a paranoid depression which led her back to drug use.
It is very sad and I hope her sons can break the cycle.
Sadly, I think a LOT of people know of someone (or themselves) who have faced addiction issues. I don’t think everyone comes out of the experience with the same understandings, therefore I don’t think we can paint the comments/commentors with a broad brush based on their take on this.
Myself, I have had multiple close friends and family members that have faced addiction. Some got clean and never looked back, some are still struggling, some have died from their addictions. The thing I learned from all of it is that only the addict can pull themselves out of it. No amount of rehab, etc. will work if the addict doesn’t want to stop taking their substance of choice. In the end, it does come down to the person themselves and the choices they make.
I think there is a lot of hurt and pain surrounding addiction…and this thread and the comments makes that very clear. No matter if you give condmenation, tough love, or sympathy and understanding, ….it all comes from a place of pain. I wonder what history will say about our society and its intense battle with substances.
I think its bullshit to say that people with addictions are incapable of rational thought. That actually offends me more than people being supposedly callous. There is no entity called “addicts” that you can lump everyone with an addiction into and people with addictions are not all driven by the same things. An addiction basically means “continued use of something despite adverse consequences”. Your wife threatens to leave you and you are still drinking, youve had 3 DUIs and you still smoke pot, you dropped out of school but you still use meth. In between a “choice” and “no rational thought” there is a wide wide berth. Just because she’s an addict doesn’t mean you can’t think what she did to her kids, her husband and her life was shitty.
Ignorant and hateful – why do you assume these commenters know nothing? That seems like a HUGE LEAP to me.
Helping someone because you LOVE them – sometimes an addict can hurt a family member so deeply that the most loving thing you can do is keep your bottom line and cut off all contact in order to minimize further hurt. And perhaps that contact is cut off forever. People can do that and still understand how addiction works.
I work with people everyday who’ve been impacted by parents and partners who are very often addicts. The abuse that these kids and adults have suffered at the hands of those parents/partners has made me think that the collateral victims are all too often forgotten.
I don’t think every comment here is ignorant or hateful, but many are.
I agree with your paragraph about having to cut off an addicted loved one-it is a heart-wrenching decision–but I’m sure we can both agree that holding anger and bitterness towards that loved one does nothing to help either person involved. On the contrary, it is quite destructive.
I don’t think the family members touched by addiction are all too often forgotten-almost every comment on this board is one of extreme empathy towards the children that Peaches left behind.
One of my best friends is an alcoholic, recovering now for ten years, and she’s one of the best mothers and best people I know. But when she was in the grips of the alcoholism, she neglected her children and her husband because that was all consuming. I learned from her how helpless a strong, beautiful person can be in the face of addiction, and it taught me compassion. If it could happen to her, it could happen to anyone. And she wouldn’t have had it happen for the world, and she lives with what happened every day of her life. One of her most difficult and heart wrenching battles is with guilt. I admire her so much for the strength it took to pull out of it. And to whoever above said it’s unforgivable – just hope it doesn’t ever happen to you. You can’t say “I would never” unless you’ve been there.
Exactly the same with my ex. Probably one of, if not THE best guys I know.
We had a 7-year relationship and when discussing that relationship with new boyfriends, I’ve just stopped explaining what happened.
The judgmental comments “what a loser” or “I can’t believe you dated a guy like that” or “what did you see in him” shit just hurt too much. I started to feel really protective and defensive because I KNOW what an amazing guy he is.
Maybe I AM projecting a bit on this thread but it does hit home for me. You know exactly what can happen, Goodnames, because you saw it happen to a friend whom you admire greatly. It really does drive home the powerful hold that addiction has on a person.
I have lost a BIL to addiction, and time has given me perspective. His attempts to overcome addiction were repeated, and we thought he was in a great place just days before his death. I admit that I was not very understanding. Four years ago, I would have said many things others are saying. Time has made me slightly more empathetic as I can see the bigger picture.
OKitten
Yes, I saw it happen to her. People keep saying you have a choice, but it’s not that simple. It had her in it’s grips before she knew what was happening, and then it was a long, unbelievably hard thing to get out of that took strength and courage and a lot of support. It’s not like she decided to choose alcoholism one day. It’s more like she was denying there was a problem until one day it enveloped her. It’s hard to explain, but she is a good person, intelligent and strong. It can happen to anyone who has the right (or wrong) chemistry. And facing the things she did during those days, and not falling back on the alcohol to dull the pain of that was extremely brave. I honestly don’t know if I could have done it. I admire her very much. And I know that I have made bad choices in my life at times, but I am fortunate enough that my body doesn’t react the same way as hers did. That’s luck, not character.
Yup, the denial is a such a huge part of addiction and what enables it.
I feel like talking about mimosas is out of place on this thread but still…cheers to your friend and my ex and those that can find a way to live with addiction and not let it get the best of them.
*raises glass*
Raise a glass to all who battle with addiction. May they find support and compassion to augment their strength.
People have the right to disagree with you without being shamed. It’s just a difference of opinion.
Thank you, I’m glad someone said it.
This is so sad. Obviously she was still battling her demons. I feel horrible for the family she left behind, especially her two little boys.
The thing that strikes me about Peaches doing heroin alone with her helpless 11 month old child nearby is how easily this could have turned into a double tragedy. What if no one had thought to check up on them for a few days? That would have been a terrible end for that small child. That is what I find most inexcusable about this whole mess. I’m sure she had that “it can’t happen to me” mentality but to put your small child at risk is the worst thing you can do. If she knew she was going to be shooting up she should have packed both boys up and sent them off with their father to visit their grandparents.
As much as everyone wants to eulogize this woman, what is most obvious is that when it came down to it, she was willing to play Russian roulette with her child’s well being and there is no excuse for that.
No, I don’t believe she had a “it can’t happen to me” mentality. She knew very well where heroin leads and was well past the point of casual use. Her mother died of this, and no doubt she’d lost a friend or two to the same. And I wouldn’t accuse her of a willingness to play Russian roulette either. The key is WILLING. By all accounts she wanted out of this. She was no longer a willing participant – she was an addict.
I have a feeling she probably made her condition known to someone for her neighbours to call the authorities as soon as they did.
So..who faces the c riminal charges for cleaning up the crime scene prior to the authorities arrival? Heroin is still a felony-equivalent crime in England, isn’t it? Who tampered with the crime scene?
Who tampered with the crime scene??
I’m guessing the husband. I hope he isn’t using but how could he NOT know if she was using.
I understand addiction is very complex and a relapse could have killed her if she had been clean and took too much… But the OD in addition to her post of her mother a few hours earlier makes me think suicide. Anyone else?
That was my first thought after reading this 🙁
If she committed suicide while alone with her young child, well, there is really no redemption for that. I’m really hoping it was a tragic accident.
Yes, that also occurred to me.
I think heroine is one of those drugs where you never know what you are going to get and the potency can kill someone at any time, it’s not just about tolerance. You can have tolerance to a lower form, take the same amount of something stronger, and boom, you’re gone. It’s kind of a Russian roulette.
she did to her children exactly what her mother did to her and her siblings.
she probably didn’t mean to or intend to, in fact I bet there was a conversation she had with herself promising she’d never make her children feel the way her mother must have made her and her siblings feel…
But she couldn’t pull it off.
so continues the sick cycle.
This seriously made me tear up. It seems like she tried so hard to be a good mother, wife and person after all her trials but just couldn’t defeat her demons in the end.
Semi related: but how much stock do people put in the gossip at CDAN? I read the write up and comments over there and it was different than the general consensus. Seems to happen often (could just be me thinking that though). Any thoughts? Don’t want to hijack, but I’m curious.
I’m not much of an Enty fan (although I do read the site) and when she died he wrote a lovely elegy for her. It really was. And hasn’t published any blinds about her (yet). I hope he keeps to his promise.
Nice to know I’m a piece of crap according to many here. “Just stop doing it”..OH!! Why didn’t I think of that?? (not heroin..but yes..an addict….who strugges every day never to use again.) Bless you OKitten….these attitudes are why I hid my addiction for so long. I’m disgusted.
Move over on the dung heap. I need more room!! 😉
Ha ha…don’t let other people’s ignorance make you feel ashamed, Vampi & bluhare.
There are some of us who really, truly understand.
Thanks, TOK. I’m not ashamed; never have been. I own who I am.
Vamp, I hope that you’re doing good and staying strong. And I hope that you know that you can always ‘talk’ on here, at least. I find it easier to type the things that I’m feeling, rather than say them.
@bluhare: LOL! Plenty of room girl! *slides over*
@OKitten: you ROCK.
@Virgilia: Thank you girl!! I have lurked here for a long time! Maybe only posted 5 times?? Lol..but yes..I am staying strong! But I also know how FINE that line is….how one really BAD thing can make you…well..not YOU anymore in a flash of a moment. That’s why I feel for Peaches.
And I LOVE the commenters on CeleBitchy! Brains, compassion, wit, and SNARK! What else could a girl ask for? 😉
I struggle with feeling compassion in these types of scenarios. Yes, I know she loved her kids and that she was an addict, however, choices were being made that I can’t sympathize with: it’s one thing to be an addict and not be able to stop doing a drug, especially when it’s all around you because of the circles you move in, but it’s quite another to know you are an addict, not get help or deny you have a problem, and worst of all, to be doing it around your kids and when you are the only adult there to take care of them. I am angry with her that she shot up with her kids in the house with her with no one else to look after them and that she did that much?! She could have reached out to someone – Lord knows, that woman was beloved – to her family and friends. She couldn’t got a babysitter or waited until her husband got home and these are all horrible ways to do the heroin but without her killing herself and with her kids there to see her dead. Heaven forbid she not do herion at all, but I do realize she was an addict. Uggghhh! Why oh why do people ever start doing drugs like herion, meth, crack, etc.? I will never understand.
Why do they do it? Because for a short period of time the world isn’t closing in.
That’s a perfect summation, bluhare. I come from a family with addiction issues, and I do struggle with the selfishness of it. I have been put through the ringer in every way possible by them, but the thing that hurts the most is what they risk doing to themselves. I live with a knife over my head daily, with the fear of losing them – and that fear is more than enough to drive me to drugs. I’ll have an extra glass of wine at dinner, a secret cigarette myself – anything to ease the constant tension and heartache. But just because I can limit myself doesn’t mean others are able to do so. To just ease the pain and stop the world from closing in for even a moment …
Thank you, Annie. And thank you for understanding. I got a bit weepy reading that.
she and her husband look like brother and sister.
She preached about how mothers should bring up their kids. She didn’t agree with putting babies in cots etc but was fine with injecting heroin with her baby near her? Hypocritical much? If she hadn’t preached I’d feel some sympathy. I feel very bad for her boys, so sad.
Imagine how someone with such high expectations must have felt when she failed so hard to live up to them. I think we can all agree she was a very sick young woman who lost her battle to control her addiction. Sometimes people focus so much on caring for others that they don’t take care of themselves and end up in a bad place.
I feel angry about it too. When she first died, I thought it was an accidental overdose. Then I read all about her babies and her writing mommy articles and how she had turned her life around and I thought it couldn’t have been an overdose, it must have been anorexia or something that weakened her heart. I felt bad that I had prejudged her for her past drug use.
But now it seems I was right the first time – she was just an addict who misjudged her tolerance for heroin and it killed her. I feel angry because it seems the Peaches who supposedly turned her life around, had kids and was an example to young mothers everywhere (and her public persona was just that – do what I do, practice attachment parenting and such) was just an act, a trick with mirrors to distract us from the fact that she was an addict. Would we have had sympathy and respect for her if she blogged the truth about her life – i.e. “Thank God Tom just left to go to his parents Astala because now I can shoot up while the baby takes a nap”?. It was all just smoke and mirrors and that is the saddest part of all.
I don’t know if this makes me a bad person, but I don’t feel sorry for her in the slightest. She was a moron. Your mother dies from a heroin overdose and so you start using heroin too? What the f—? That’s like saying my mother is an alcoholic, so I’m going to go get wasted. No, that’s stupid. My mother is an alcoholic so I stay away from alcohol, and when I do drink, I am always careful about not having too much.
Also, I have no sympathy for addicts in general. They don’t care about how much they hurt themselves and they certainly don’t care about how much they hurt others. It’s their own damn fault what happens to them; I have no sympathy for that.
The only people I feel sorry for are her kids, because this crap will leave them with all sorts of emotional problems.
I just posted below you and obviously, we seem to be coming from the same place. A poster up above stated that a lot of the people with not much sympathy are probably people who have suffered with an addict. It seems to be true.
And the people who have sympathy for addicts are usually people who HAVE dealt with loved ones who suffer from it. It directly affects their lives and so they take time to understand the complexity of the disease. It’s those who haven’t experienced it who lack the education to comprehend addiction… which I guess is fine since it’s not relevant in their lives. But it annoys me when those people then think they can preach about a disease they know NOTHING about. Read up or shut up, honestly..
I’ve suffered from addiction in my family so my opinion is not based on ignorance. I have sympathy for people with addictions who want to get help but I don’t see that from her. She made public statements that she had “learned” from her mother’s drug use and overdose death and that was why she never really got into drugs and she dismissed her past drug use as teenage experimentation. Lie after lie after lie. That is what I am angry about. There was no indication that she wanted help. Maybe she did but there is no sign that she wanted to change how she was living her life. And now she’ll never have the chance.
The ignorance is so strong on this thread.
I realize that everyone is different. And addiction may be a disease but it a self-inflicted disease. No one needs to take these drugs. My husbands father is an alcoholic and his mother is a drug addict. My husband and his siblings have made a conscious effort to avoid those things in their lives, since they have seen the damage that they cause (which is not to say they don’t have their own issues). THEY MADE A CHOICE to not drink and do drugs. I know that once you are addicted much of your “choice” is taken away, but regardless, a choice was made at one point.
Add me to the list of people who feel bad for her babies.
Completely agree.
I feel sorrow for her family and compassion for her. Being an addict is a terrible, horrible awful affliction. I’m left wondering if she simply fell off the wagon momentarily or was this a purposeful overdose? So sad
Stupid, stupid girl. She had so much to live for.
I hope her husband finds a kind, stable woman to help raise her son and perhaps her widower can have more children-half sibs Let there be a big, happy family for the boys to be surrounded by. Let there not be a third generation haunted by the actions of a grossly irresponsible parent. The fact that the children are boys may break the curse, who knows.
Her husband doesn’t have a job. Or any education to get one.
bluhare says: May 1, 2014 at 11:45 am
MaryIV, I didn’t choose to be an alcoholic. Alcoholism and addiction chose me. You have no idea what I would do to change that if I could, but I can’t.
————————————————————————–
Your comment made me tear up. I feel your pain. I’m a Friend of Bill W., too.
And your comment made me tear up. Thank you. Bill W is friends with some nice people. 🙂
i’m a friend of bill w too
Me too 🙂 4 years just last week.
congrats on your four years. i had my sober bday april 9
Who is Bill W? I looked for clues up thread. Is that a code word or a real person?
Bill W is the guy who founded AA.
Oh, thanks. Sorry for being a dope. I never heard that before.
Pintrest has been occupying my internet for the last month; I didn’t even know she died. Not surprised at all. A while back I seen pictures of her on this site and she looked well but, come on, now…heroin addicts don’t usually kick it because they meet someone or have kids or have their addiction outed via strung out photos. Heroin is hardcore – and not in a good way. I used to really like drugs but I never knowingly touched heroin thanks to hood movies, basketball diaries, and trainspotting. EFF. THAT. SH*T.
Wow, the addiction gene sure runs strong in that family. Very sad.
The mail said her kids were NOT home and she was alone at time of death
That’s what the Mail’s latest story sounds like at first. If you keep reading until the end, it reveals that Tom’s dad (who was the last person to see her alive) dropped off Phaedra (on Sunday night) and left him alone with Peaches: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2617315/Peaches-Geldof-died-heroin-overdose-tragic-echo-mother-Paula-Yatess-death-inquest-reveal.html
I can’t imagine why anyone would take an illegal drug in the first place. I don’t want to hear about how strong addictions can be, because she would never have had an addiction if she didn’t voluntarily take the drug in the first place.
It’s “mean” to “blame” a dead person, but that’s what I’m gonna do. Maybe some people don’t care about what illegal drugs can do to themselves (they could be suicidal, have low self-esteem, thrill issues, or whatever) — but if they have any family at all, like parents, siblings, spouses, or children, then they are giving a big “f-ck you” to everyone they supposedly love. Who’s hurting the most from her death? The people who loved her. Drugs are very, very, bad – I don’t understand why some people just don’t get it.
when i first about peaches’ death it broke my heart. i know it is hard to feel compassion for someone that was doing drugs with her small children at home but all these comments about addiction being a self inflicted disease are so simplistic & dismissive of what is actually the root of the problem. addicts very rarely addicts because they simply enjoy it. addicts are most often than not “dually diagnosed” meaning they have a mental disorder as well. factor in having two kids in a very short period of time and it is impossible for any of us to make a quick judgement call about what an awful person she is. depression can f*ck with your brain in ways that you cannot comprehend. if a person is in so much pain & are looking for a way to temporary (or permanently) escape it, it doesn’t matter how privileged their background is or how many kids/responsibilities they have, they will do whatever they can to ease that moment of hurt, it is often impossible for them to see past that moment of pain.
i’m bi polar woman who has been off of heroin for 8 years as of april 9. yes i love my life sober & i am doing things i never thought i would be able to but i have to be vigilant about my self care. i have lost many friends to the disease of addiction. i cannot forget that maintaining my sobriety & mental well being is hard work. fortunately i have been blessed with a wonderful support system. i can’t pass judgement on peaches, i can only feel compassion for her & her family she left behind.
Beautiful post. Congrats on 8 years free, that’s quite a feat. I hope one day I can say the same for myself.
thank you ivy. i wish you all the luck on your journey. i do believe there is redemption for the addict who seeks it <3
Addiction is a demon.
I hope some of the posters who are tearing her apart realize she was a teenager when she started using drugs. You know, someone whose brain is not fully “grown”? Honestly, have you never made a decision in your youth that you regretted? She was prone to depression and had a painful childhood. Yes, she made a poor decision when she tried heroin, but I believe she regretted it. That decision must of had an incredible effect on her still developing brain chemistry that she’d have to live with her entire life. And I don’t believe a mistake made as teenager should cost someone their life.
In Peaches defense.
Both my parents died when I was 17yrs old. In my twenties when I had my beautiful child, there were moments of intense joy…….and also moments of incredible & deep SORROW in missing my parents and wishing they were there to help and share in the moments.
My husband left me alone to care for our baby most days and nights and his family never lifted a finger to help or even visit.
Although I never used drugs. The mixed days of happiness and dispair were frequent. I can only imagine how much she missed her mother. Just my two cents. RIP
To everyone saying “Why would she have ever taken drugs to begin with?” and “She made the choice to do it the first time” — have you ever considered that maybe she first took drugs (even heroin) while still legally a child, meaning she really wasn’t capable of making an informed choice? Due to parental neglect or whatever kind of circumstances, many people first take drugs when they are TOO YOUNG to make a sensible choice. Think about it – why do we have “age of consent” laws for sex? Because we consider anyone under 18 (or 16 in some places) to be not emotionally mature enough to make an adult decision to engage in sexual behavior. We would never hold someone responsible for something that happened to them as a result of having sex as a minor — even if they did it willingly, because we would say “Well, they’re incapable of consenting/choosing to have sex.” So why wouldn’t the same logic apply to taking drugs? If someone takes drugs before they’re old enough to understand what they’re doing, sometimes that’s all it takes for them to be an addict for life.
I’m not suggesting that it completely absolves someone of personal responsibility if they continue with certain behaviors once they are an adult. I’m just saying, have some compassion and understanding for the reasons why Peaches (or any addict) might have taken that first hit, first drink, whatever — people who are in pain and still legally CHILDREN often make stupid decisions that set future behaviors in motion. That’s different than someone who is a fully functional adult making a decision to take drugs for the first time.
Peaches Geldof had an unhealthy obsession with her mother, Paula Yates – it’s almost as if she was determined to relive her mother’s life.
– Both of them were journalists, television presenters and models.
– Both of them were known for their partying lifestyle.
– Both of them suffered from eating disorders.
– Both of them had lip fillers towards the end of their lives.
– Both of them were attachment parenting advocates.
– Both of them got married in Las Vegas and at the St Mary Magdalene and St Lawrence Church.
– Both of them died of an accidental heroin overdose while alone with their youngest child.
– Both of them were buried at the St Mary Magdalene and St Lawrence Church.
In Peaches’ last interview she said “There are so many parallels between us. I feel her living through me all the time because we are just so similar.” Peaches had also previously said that becoming a mother had made her feel closer to Paula than she had ever felt, but it had also made her miss her more than ever.
May she rest peacefully in the arms of her mother.
@bluhare: LOL! Plenty of room girl! *slides over*
@OKitten: you ROCK.
@Virgilia: Thank you girl!! I have lurked here for a long time! Maybe only posted 5 times?? Lol..but yes..I am staying strong! But I also know how FINE that line is….how one really BAD thing can make you…well..not YOU anymore in a flash of a moment. That’s why I feel for Peaches.
And I LOVE the commenters on CB! Brains, compassion, wit, and SNARK! What else could a girl ask for? 😉
Very sad. She never looked healthy to me, she was very thin and drawn looking in her face (she looked like a true anorexic to me), and there was no glow to her skin or hair as well. I wonder if she suffered from PPD and if that parlayed into her returning to drug using. Well whatever her state of mind etc, it is very sad that her poor boys will grow up without their mother.
So well put, Ella. Exactly what I was thinking.
I think I need to say something here. Pardon me for getting a bit personal. I feel strongly about several things that were mentioned on this thread.
Addiction is the worst thing. And you know how it happens? There’s a void, a need, this complacency that you can’t stand. And to tell someone to just suck it up is ignoring a batch of mental health issues and/or disorders. It’s actually unhealthy to ignore the demons someone’s dealing with and tell them to get on with their life. The thing is, we don’t share corporal experiences. What, for one person, might be stubbing your toe, for the next is akin to being burned alive.
Addiction takes time. During that time, you are stealth, you are smarter than the substance, you are not obviously changed in front of people. The red flags are carefully and insidiously camouflaged. You feel powerful.
And then the power drains. All you’ve got is desperate, somatic, and psychological need. It’s cyclic–this is you now. It fuses with your identity. People begin to conflate their notion of you with addiction. You feel hurt by this and frustrated by people who try to change you. You are defensive of their criticisms of your need. Are you selfish? Absolutely. But without the addiction, you are back to square one, and it’s lonely, squalid place.
Also, you’ve already come this far. People already know this about you. They’ll never not know. They’ll never unremember the incidents. The times when you were not you but you swore up and down that you were. The lack of connection. The need to set yourself on fire.
And even if you can see past that, there’s the physical part–you are enslaved by the addiction. You need medical professionals to ween you off it. It hurts. It burns in the bad way. At best, you suffer through every day as an irritable wench. At worst, you are perhaps on your deathbed somewhere, sweating it out, reeling in hallucinations. The pain is very real. You might perish from it.
If you do all this, if you swallow the fact that this will never not be real, that you will never not be something that happened–that you did, that it did to you–you will still know your entire life. You will relive the shame and horrors daily. That burn will creep up on you and you will recall how empowered you felt in the early days, when no one knew, when your body didn’t hurt, when you had no regrets. You will wish for those days so, so badly. And you will hate yourself for that wish. And sometimes that hatred causes people to go back and to go hard. And they die.
What a haunting and excellent post.
I’m not sure why they’re not considering suicide. Many people fail to leave suicide notes. If someone cleaned up evidence of drugs, they could have removed the note as well. For some reason, there’s often shame associated with suicide, so that could have been covered up.
I’m not saying it’s suicide, I have no idea. I keep reading here about possible depression or post partum depression. Hopefully, a mother wouldn’t commit suicide while her baby is in her care, but I would hope a mother wouldn’t use heroin while being responsible for her baby. She did one of those things.
I hope her husband was unaware she was using again. This could have been her first relapse – it’s not unheard of to overdose on a relapse. Heroin and babies never mix – I’ve never recovered from Trainspotting.
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jun/12/news/la-ol-drug-addiction-disease-epidemic-20120612
This is interesting to add fire to the debate
http://blogs.plos.org/mindthebrain/2012/11/12/why-addiction-is-not-a-brain-disease/
Another
So what sort of state was Peaches in when grandpa dropped the baby off? Was she using regularly again or had just obtained some and thought she could handle the same amount that she used before? I’ve heard of that happening. A lot of questions.
I’ve lost both of my parents within a 2 year period and I am not even 40…until August. Something does happen to your psyche when losing a parent under the age of 50-60. Not that it’s easy at that age, it’s not, but you still really really need your mommy and daddy up until then on a very deep level of need. Just my opinion.
My mother died of a stroke at 64 so in the back of my mind, I wonder if I will go the same way at times. My mother was a very healthy person but struggled with anxiety and depression. My father was killed during a simple outpatient surgery and a big mess up by the physician performing the surgery 2 months ago.
I think peaches believed having children would help with her depression and addiction. And it did…for a while. I don’t think she ever dealt with the underlying issues that she had. It is such a shame, those poor boys including Tom, her father and all of her loved ones. 25. This is just such a shame and so saddening. My heart goes out to them all.
She was murdered – set up to look like suicide – she was probably late paying for some drugs – all the paraphernalia was gone – all too easy to kill a girl
It made me nauseous to read that her baby was with her when she OD’d. I have a great deal of sympathy and compassion for addicts, I really do, being a recovered alcoholic myself and having spent a good little bit of time in rehab… but doing hard drugs while your VERY young children are alone with you is selfish, that’s the only way I see it. She had the money to hire a sitter if she really felt the need to get a fix. She essentially chose to alleviate her own discomfort and pain rather than protect the basic welfare of her children. I would feel the same way about a parent that drives their children around drunk- I’m sorry you’re an addict, I hope you get help and don’t begrudge you the mess you’re in, but when it comes to your children, swallow your pride and ask for help (a sitter, a driver, a sponsor, a doctor, whatever). Not cool, Peaches, very sad.
Just speculating – but I wonder if she had a friend present who would stay sober while she had what she thought would be a small dose, to take the edge off if she was missing her mother? Then when she died (it could have been very quick), the other person panicked, cleaned up if needed, and ran. Taking the baby would have implicated him or her, so the baby was left with hopes for the best. Is it possible the husband was tipped off to check and it wasn’t just some random feeling that he should? It might not have taken much to overdose at her size and after being away from it. Anyway, she might have thought she had provided for the baby’s safety.
That’s exactly what I also think happened!
Also they never know what is in that batch of (of course!) illegally made drug they get. It is not like the dosages are always clean and well prepared. Remember PSH.
When I first heard the news that Peaches Geldof had passed away, I was convinced it was due to cardiac arrest. Having followed her on Instagram and seeing daily photos and videos of her two beautiful sons, I thought there was just no way she would ever go back to her old lifestyle. Sadly, I was wrong. I pray to God that her children will break the cycle. The fact that they are boys may help break the curse. Rest easy, Peaches.
Mixed feelings on this one. The initial outpouring of sympathy here felt like a gesture of respect for her Dad more than anything, as in all honesty Peaches was not the national treasure people might get the impression being outside the U.K. From a very young age Peaches was handed a career of sorts as a rather annoying t.v. presenter based on her family connections. She really was a loathed figure of the worst kind of nepotism a few yrs ago. She came across as an obnoxious, overprivileged brat generally. Imagine Rumer Willis on your t.v. all the time, it was that kind of thing. But in recent years she had mellowed (seemingly) and gained a more mature voice and image as a young mother. I did feel terrible for her young family when this happened.
And I know from close friends that losing a mother young brings up a lot of repeated mourning when you have children of your own and realize all that you have missed all over again. And Peaches’ mother was very well known here. Her memory was inescapable for her. And I know addiction is not easy, but this really does seem like it should have been a very avoidable tragedy. If her rail thin body of the past year was anything to go by this wasn’t isolated, so how her husband and large family did not see the signs and intervene is a mystery. It is a tragedy for her children, the only positive is that they are too young to remember any of this and so maybe will not have the scars of memory that Peaches did. Of course they will mourn their mother, but hopefully this is the end of a very tragic cycle.
I don’t mean to sound too harsh on Peaches, I think unlike her mother she was a very young woman still who maybe started a family on the brink of recovery. I think she had good intentions and wasn’t ready for it all. Paula Yates was in her thirties with a family when she chose to run off with another rock star, and when she chose to continue taking drugs after he died despite having many children to look after. I don’t think she was any kind of victim and her selfishness continues to harm her children long after her death, in this case in the most tragic circumstance possible. I know the British press are going to be serializing this into some “Like mother like daughter” documentary in no time, which I don’t think is fair on Peaches necessarily.
@ Mrs. Darcy
Just had to comment on your input…very well thought out and written!
It is always sad when a young person passes away because it becomes the what if syndrome.
The UK newspaper Sun has a story today about Peaches attending a methadone clinic recently. According to the source Peaches claimed her husband didn’t know about her visits and that her dad would go livid if he found out. If this story is true she clearly had relapsed and tried to fix it on her own. It makes sense that her relapse wasn’t known to the family because: A. Thomas wouldn’t have left her for four days alone B. Thomas’ dad (a social worker!) wouldn’t have left the youngest kid with her alone. Also I think it is commendable that so many commentators here speak up about addiction and how hard it is to kick it, regardless of how “wonderful” your life is. Seriously if kicking an addiction was just “a choice” similar to choosing pizza or pasta, how come most people keep on struggling with addiction for decades, even when they have kids and so forth? It might seem simple for those of us who have never gone through it, but that doesn’t mean it is simple for those who are addicted.
Being from a troubled family is no excuse for being a junkie. SO many of us are from troubled families and have had bad childhoods and rough time growing up and yet we are not junkies. She has no excuse. Shame on her for leaving those two young children without a mother. This is absolutely irresponsible. I am very upset and disappointed. They had better kept the truth under wraps. Very disappointing.
I once ended reading a forum where people who were dedicated to heroin were discussing their methods and needs. I was astonished at what I read.
In my country where there are no benefits for those out of work, there is a border town and the saddest worst cases of addiction that one can ever seen is of those who consume heroin. There was a photographic article about them and it was appalling the depths of what people can descend to use this drug everyday. Absolutely sad and horrible.
Everyone who tries heroin does not die. That is total nonsense.
Yes. H is a killer but some do manage to kick it or just die old junkies. William S Burroughs was a life long addict and dies at 83. Keith Richards and Anita Pallenberg had habits they kicked etc….
This is not to say it’s not a disgusting drug. The worst.
I have empathy for someone enslaved by addiction but she could have called a sitter when she felt an overwhelming urge to use. She wasn’t poor and without the means to get someone to care for her child at that moment. I’m sorry but there is no justification for this woman doing drugs in front of her kids – her VERY SMALL kids.
She doesn’t lose her “Good Mommy” label for struggling with her addiction.
She doesn’t lose it for relapsing that day.
She loses it for not caring enough to protect her children in that moment.
I’m sorry it absolutely sickens and angers me.
Also I find it interesting that people are twisting themselves into knots empathizing with Peaches but what about Brooke Mueller?
completely agree
Those poor little boys. What was she thinking? Two kids in a young marriage, at a young age, within a year of each other. She was already fragile and not emotionally well. Those are the people who always think having a kid (or more) will fill the hole in them, even though YOU are supposed to fill your kids up. I hope their dad is more stable, but I doubt it.