Sarah Silverman joins the growing list of celebrities penning columns in Glamour. Sarah’s promoting her role in Seth MacFarlane’s A Million Ways to Die in the West. She plays a prostitute for comic effect in the movie. That could be considered offensive, but … it’s a MacFarlane movie. I can’t get worked up about anything he does. Sarah dishes out plenty of life advice to young and old women alike in this Glamour column. This is some solid stuff, and I think everyone (except for Goop) can take something away from this column. I don’t agree with the therapy stuff because it hasn’t worked for me, but everything else she says here is fantastic:
Do get your sweat on most days: “Just to keep your shell healthy and feel good.”
Don’t clutter your life with stuff you can’t afford: “Keep your overhead low. Get a car with good mileage. Work toward buying your apartment. Shop at Gap. Enough with obsessing over the latest bag. It’s a purse. It holds stuff. Get a backpack. You’re being ridiculous.”
Do brush and floss your teeth every day for reals: “Death creeps in through the gums. And scrape your gross tongue.”
Don’t expect someone to “complete” you: “I don’t want to make a guy whole; I want him to come whole. I just realized I said ‘come whole.'”
Do be with someone who gets turned on by you being turned on in bed: “Not everything has to be tit for tat, but a little genuine reciprocity is key.”
Don’t be a bitter ex: “I adore the men I’ve dated and tend to stay close friends. They become family. I could be bitter, but bitterness feels bad. And it’s aging.”
Don’t lack initiative: “People tell me, ‘I want to be a writer.’ OK, then write. There’s no trick. No one’s gonna knock on your door and ask you to write. Just write, dummy. Put your 10,000 hours in (see: Malcolm Gladwell), and be undeniable.”
Also, don’t let defeat discourage you: “I got fired from Saturday Night Live and fired from my next job, a sitcom, right after. It made me gun-shy. But I lived through it. I kept going. As Charlie Kaufman said: ‘Do not worry about failure. Failure is a badge of honor. It means you risked failure.'”
Do start reflecting: “I do therapy. If therapy isn’t your thing, then go to church or get a Pema Chodrion book for $9 on Audible–whatever you need to do to live an examined life. It’ll make your life (and the lives of people around you) exponentially richer.”
Don’t talk sh-t about yourself: “You’ll start to believe it. Instead of droning on and on about how the tops of your strong, working thighs touch, why don’t you ask your friends how they’re doing, huh? I’ve caught myself feeling utter disgust looking at myself naked, and then I realized: If I was someone else, I would think, She’s beautiful and strong! If we were half as nice to ourselves as we are to any f–king stranger on the street, we’d be winning.”
Don’t hate on your grown-ass skin: “I know, aging is like a really slow-moving horror movie, especially for women. But the lines on our faces are valuable. When I see people with fillers or weirdo stretched-out faces, I’m like, You look crazy. Your skin is gonna change. Mine is changing now. It’s getting looser. It’s how it is, OK?”
[From Glamour]
There is so much goodness here in this column. Sarah has a no-nonsense approach to life, and I dig her Charlie Kaufman quote about failure. You have to try to fail, and that’s better than not trying at all. That’s an easier attitude to hold in retrospect. I’m sure SNL would have been much better without firing her. Hey, has anyone mentioned the possibility of Sarah taking over for Craig Ferguson yet?
P.S. Did you hear that, Miley? Scrape your gross tongue.
Here’s a trailer for A Million Ways to Die. This is nothing I’d watch in a theater, but it will probably make a load of cash. Watch Sarah get it on with Giovanni Ribisi.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
Very funny and wise, but have to say NO to the backpack/rucksack takes up too much space on the tube/train.
A small backpack with a loop on top can be shifted to holding like a purse when you’re seated. Your arms will thank you. I remember the huge heavy purses my mother carried, I would be dying with that. I can comfortably carry so much more on my back than in my hands. Great for grocery shopping also.
I’ve grown to really love her over time.
Me too, Kiddo.
yep, me too (or me three)
There is something to be said for that one moment when you realize you already “peaked” and you’re on you’re way down. It’s a strange sad reality. But not the end of the world.
She’s like Cameron, but good advice and awesome perspective.
It has made me value time much more, and that is not a bad thing.
Me too! I’ve gained perspective in a really good way.
“She’s like Cameron”
Oh please, no.
Keep reading kiddo. EXCEPT SHE HAS GOOD ADVICE AND PERSPECTIVE. I was attempting a joke at how Cameron has none of these things. I may have failed. I concede.
No. I got scared for a minute.
But how many of us can really say we’ve ‘peaked and are on our way down’? Very few people – athletes, models and a handful of actors/actresses whose appeal is based on their looks – have a clear point, usually some time in the twenties, when they ‘peak’ and after that it’s all downhill, at least professionally. For most of us, life is full of ups and downs.
Yeah man – at 34 I’m far from peaking. And if I’ve already peaked, then I’m f****d and nothing ever went uphill in the first place. This idea that you peak in your mid-to-late twenties is true for some, but it’s not true for EVERYONE.
I’m a decade older than you and don’t feel I’ve ‘peaked’. OK the gray hairs are becoming ever more resilient, and I can’t eat whatever I like anymore without it showing up on my waistline. But so what? I’m not a model or an actress. My looks are only one part of who I am – and anyway though I do say so myself I like to think I still look pretty good. In many ways, I feel much more confident and secure than I did as a younger woman. Like I say, life is full of peaks and troughs. Why do we all think youth is so wonderful?
I agree. It sounds like one of those negative labels people attach to themselves that become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Exactly what Sarah advises against. While the valleys will inevitably become more frequent as we get older, there will always be opportunities for peaks!
I agree with her. Aging is inevitable, and should be looked at as a privilege instead of a burden.
Yes! We should see all those wrinkles and gray hairs and years as something like girl scout badges. so much done and accomplished and learned. But American society just sees outdated and silly and senile. So wrong.
My dad used to say to me when I would complain about getting older, “it’s better than the alternative, isn’t it?” Once I hit a certain age and I began to realize how fragile life can be, I appreciate those words so much now.
That is always what my dad says. Without fail.
I lost my mom a couple years ago to a car accident, when she was 55. She was still, to me, so young and healthy and vibrant and full of life, even if she had a few wrinkles and had to cover a couple grays. That definitely changed my perspective on aging – I feel confident that as much as my mom enjoyed “looking good for her age,” (which is a phrase I actually hate), she would happily be alive even if it meant being gray and wrinkly.
So true. Growing old is a privilege which not everyone gets to experience.
Yeah I agree with her too. I have always liked her and thought she was pretty…awkwardly without being a huge fan of her actual work.
Aging is emotional for guys too, though, they just aren’t allowed by society to talk as much about it.
People need to embrace aging. The only other option is death.
RIP my friend May who didn’t get to even get near old age. Please celebrate your wrinkles and gray hair, freedom of expression, time with friends and family – so much beauty that comes with aging.
She’s one of the dirtiest comics around, but if Sarah Silverman can wear a Zac Posen at the Met Ball on Michael Sheen’s arm, I will scrape my disgusting tongue. See “Jesus Is Magic” if you can. Love her.
Yep…she is filthy & very irreverent regarding Christianity. I don’t like her stand-up at all. She takes it too far.
@cecilia. She makes fun of everything. Its comedy I domt understand why she offended you
@coolio – I agree with Cecilia and in my experience, it’s because Christianity is the go-to for someone who wants to insult religion (even in broad terms, not specifically tenets of that faith), the religious, or anyone they want to throw under the wide umbrella of intolerant/backward/simple-minded brain-washed idiots. The things said about Christianity/Christians, no matter how “jokingly” they may be said, would never pass muster if “Judaism/Jews” or “Islam/Muslims” was substituted in because there would be a quick rallying cry of racism or bigotry. I see it all the time – “Christians are (fill-in-the-blank)” and it’s met with appeal because there’s a safety in insulting those beliefs that is not found when doing so to other faiths. I’ve actually questioned a person who has said/written broad statements like “don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church” – obviously meant to suggest Christians are non-thinking fools, right? And the response was that even though he disdains all religions/religious people, it’s only going after Christianity that he can express as much without being labeled a narrow-minded idiot/xenophobe/anti-Semite. Or when I hear people denigrate “fairytales” of the Bible and claim how much nonsense it all is, could not the same be said about other faiths? Many faiths have beliefs in creation/a Creator(s), beliefs in supernatural, God-inspired events (is not the parting of the Red Sea also a part of Judaism as well?), but it’s only those under the umbrella of Christianity that are mocked and ridiculed as part of the general consciousness. Fine, some people claim nothing is off-limits or to grow a thick skin. That’s all well and good, by should not ALL religions be subjected to the same sort of criticism, or even joking? It’s just everywhere, and as a whole, yes, there are bigger and more important things to get riled up about than some comedian’s schtick, but the hypocrisy in constantly going after one group of the religious population is mind-boggling.
Sorry for the rant, I just don’t know what to think when I see stuff like this, or further, people who either deny it or claim to not see it.
@Sooloo: In the US, and several other countries it has been Christians oppressing other faiths, lack of faiths, etc. There is a difference between poking fun at faith or culture that has been oppressed vs. the one that is oppressive. And before you even try to go there…Christians are not oppressed in the US. Someone saying Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas is not oppression. Not being able to have representations of your religious figures on public property, not having creationism taught in public schools, having gay and married neighbors is not oppression.
Using the Christian Bible to rationalize slavery, ban interracial marriage, burning “witches”, blaming women for rape…that is oppression.
Wise, wise words.
I remember reading an article about Joan Baez. She was releasing a new album & they had air-brushed her aging face into oblivion. It upset Joan. Joan made them put the original photo on the cover wrinkles & all. She said that she had EARNED every line & crease on her face & she was proud of it.
Great how she talks so candidly about getting fired – and healthy acceptance of failures. With her confidence and sass SS appears the polar opposite of goopy and cameron diaz.
Love this advice!
I’ve noticed that women who were never considered hot or beautiful are much less afraid of ageing.
Not Sarah, she’s pretty, but in general.
So so true!!!!
Lol I remember reading a similar wry observation from Norah Ephron and it has stuck with me all these years. I wish I could remember the title…it was in a collection of her essays from the 70’s that my mom had.
I don’t find her funny, but wow, when she’s being herself she’s incredibly likeable! She is so right about aging. It is better to embrace your years than to wallow in self-pity and be miserable about it. And aging doesn’t seem to be too hard as long as you remain active (not just when it comes to exercise, but active in LIFE in general) and eat well. And a glass or two of wine also helps :).
she isnt kidding about the aging and the horror movie. Never paid much attention to her but I like everything she said.
I’m like you..never thought anything about her one way or another but I too like everything she said.
Meh, she wore blackface and has made one too many jokes at the expense of minority groups, she can blow me.
I don’t need her advice on aging, she never gave a damn about older women until she became one.
No. I think aging might be a horror movie for a woman celebrity who has made it based on her looks and youth, but its not a horror movie for an average woman who has family and friends in her life.
I think the average woman, not just celebs, can have a hard time as they age and transition into their 50s. When things start changing, menopause hits. You can be loved and have close friends and family, but it doesn’t mean you are immune from feeling the emotional effects of aging at certain points in your life and then adjust and move into the next phase.
I mostly knew her for her comedy, which is at least 50% of the time not my cup of tea (I don’t mind raunchy humor, just some of her stuff comes across as too try-hard for me).
But everything she says here in this interview I really, really like! Especially as I stare down 40 in a few more years and am learning to just chill out about aging and all that comes with it.
She just went up a few notches in my regard.
I think I’ve never liked Sarah more than right now. What a great article by her
@Bedhead – I agree, “There is so much goodness here in this column,” which is why I wish you would have titled this column with any of Sarah’s fantastic&wise quotes in the column, except the one you went with.
FTR: I really like Sarah and I think she looks better now than she did 10 years ago!
I wish there were more women like her who are open and honest about aging happily and gracefully. I agree that it should be a badge of honour, grey hairs, wrinkles, saggy bits and all. I’d much rather look like me than like Nicole Kidman or Madonna who are doing every procedure short of drinking the blood of newborn lambs (well, maybe Madonna does) to look youthful. They just look ridiculous, desperate and fake.
I don’t get people who always whine about getting older on b-days and getting wrinkles etc. Maybe it is because I lost one of my siblings when she was 15 but yes I never look at ageing as a curse. I think it is a blessing because I know my one sister who was my older sister I am now actually older than her. That is something strange to think about sometimes for me but`it reminds me how not everyone gets to have a full life and the ability to age and experience so many things.
I really enjoyed reading her interview. It has a lot of helpful advice.
Ageing terrifies me, it really does. I’m already investigating botox for the little lines that no amount of exercising and eating right and drinking water can get rid of. I knew my looks wouldn’t last forever but wow…never realized how difficult it is to watch it slowly fade. I definitely have other things in my life that I am proud of, but losing my looks makes me so so frustrated and sad. Just being honest.
But at least you had them for a while. Some people never get to experience how it feels ti he beautiful.
Right there with ya…effing sucks! You go from getting checked out all the time to getting passed over in a matter of years. “There’s always going to be someone younger and prettier…”
Totally thinking about Botox too as I have a furrow in the middle of my forehead (thanks bad eyes and resting b-face!!) that I’m becoming increasingly obsessed with. And I’m putting so much cream/serums on it that I break out, too. Wrinkles and pimples at the same time…awesome.
Just as it is okay to come to terms with aging, I think it’s okay to be just as terrified of it too…superficially speaking.
My sister did the botox in her furrow between her eyes. She was tired of looking angry, and it worked great. She loved the results.
Thanks Jayna! Always nice to hear someone else’s experiences 🙂
@Amanduh-I really relate to your statement about how you go from being checked out all the time to getting passed over in a matter of a few years. I’m 41 and 3-5 years ago I still got lots of male attention. Within the past year or two something has really shifted. I haven’t done anything drastic to my appearance and my weight hasn’t changed but I look older. It’s weird how quickly things changed. This may sound really superficial but even though I’ve been married for years it felt good to be hit on and complimented-it was nice to have that validation. Oh, well-that’s just how it is if you are fortunate enough to get older.
I would really advise young women not to rely too much on male attention to boost their self esteem/ego because it’s fleeting. Enjoy it while it lasts but don’t put too much stock in it because it won’t last indefinitely.
Actually, the most terrifying thing about aging is health related.
You will see that you can be physically beautiful at any age.
…double post!
… Hence the “superficially speaking” qualifier…health is a whole other set of anxieties for moi!!
Your last sentence reminded me of what my mom said: “Yes, you’ll be x years old, but you’ll be a beautiful x year old.” Very true, but hard for me to execute sometimes!
You don’t lose your looks, you grow into them gracefully. One of the most beautiful women I ever knew was well into her seventies when I met her and she was gorgeous – what made her gorgeous wasn’t her physical beauty even though she was very attractive, it was her persona. She was loving, funny, gracious, intelligent, curious, accepting of everyone, and had a youthful mind-set and heart. That’s what’s important, not little lines that you’re terrified of.
Oh for sure…I’m way more than my looks! I know that…my intelligence and sense of humour will carry me well into old age. I’m speaking from a vanity standpoint only; Completely superficial.
I’m surprised by Sarah Silverman’s comments; she always seemed to be down to earth and smart to me. That’s a really negative way of describing something absolutely natural. Some women handle ageing really well, just like men effortlessly do (or seem to): Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kim Basinger, Emma Thompson, Julianne Moore, Sharon Stone, Julia Roberts, Jodie Forster, etc. All of these ladies are still gorgeous – little or no work on faces – and productive way past their “prime”. That was her point in the end but saying that it’s like a “horror movie” is a cheap shot!
I think it was a joke because she’s a comedian.
I would be willing to bet 90% of those women you named have had lastic surgery. Sharon Stone has some interesting thoughts on getting older…
I would be willing to bet 90% of those women you named have had plastic surgery. Sharon Stone has some interesting thoughts on getting older…
Sarah is smart, gorgeous, and hilarious. I was a casual fan for a little bit but gained a whole new respect for her when I learned one of her reasons for not having children was because she didn’t want to risk passing on her mental health issues. I had never heard a public figure (or even a regular Joe) admit that. I’m in the same boat.