We’ve heard about the older Duggars marrying off into relationships hand selected by their father, Jim-Bob. Recently Jill Duggar, 23, married an accountant named Derick Dillard and is having fun posting couples selfies. Jessa Duggar, 21, is engaged to a 19 year-old wingnut who rants against Catholicism and has a fascination with guns.
The oldest Duggar daughter isn’t engaged or married yet, though. Jana Duggar reportedly feels like an old maid… at 24. The Duggars like to marry ’em off young, but maybe they need at least one of the older girls to stay home and be a housemaid.
Jana Duggar may have 18 siblings and counting, but the 24 year-old is painfully short on suitors! “Maybe for folks in New York isn’t no big deal to be single at her age, but in Arkansas you’re an old maid at 25 – and Jana is scared!” reveals a source close to the reality TV clan. The problem? Dad Jim Bob and mom Michelle’s “buddy system” parenting style means Jana doesn’t have time to get a life of her own. “She wants to meet a nice guy, but she’s busy taking care of her siblings!” says the pal. “What is she supposed o do, put her life on hold until 4 year-old Josie graduates high school? Jana would be 38 by then! She deserves to be happy on her own.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 11, 2014]
Star is wrong on one account, it’s not like any of these kids are out meeting other young people to date, even at church events. Their dad is vetting potential mates and introducing them. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jana was selected to stay home because she’s indispensable. Or maybe she’s not that into getting married and is pushing back against it. Jana is studying to be a midwife. I would love to hear about one of these kids striking out on their own and deciding to go to a secular college, that would be interesting but you know it’s not going to happen. Jana isn’t the oldest Duggar who isn’t married. She has a male twin, 24 year-old John-David. He better get started, he’s missing some prime baby-making years.
Photos courtesy TLC and wikia
Buddy parenting, my rear. You have all those kids, you raise them. You don’t dump it on the siblings. Is she 14 or 24? The quote from the magazine says both ages. I’d like to think she’s busy studying for a career.
My bad that’s a typo, she’s 24.
Maybe she’s busy plotting her escape.
I agree! Children should not be raising their siblings; that is the parents’ job! She is 24 years old and can strike out on her own and do whatever the heck she chooses and she should do just that!
Both sets of my grandparents had very large families and the older kids did take care of the younger kids, but it did not effect their ability to get married or do whatever they wanted to do. I think the story is probably a pile of poop. Janna is by no means an old maid (a term that is out dated and mean spirited anyway) and I say leave the girl alone to marry at her own pace no matter how long it takes. It is bad enough she will have those idiot parents picking men out for her. If she wants to be picky and make her daddy work hard at finding somebody she likes, I say more power to her.
Oh, no, she’s getting her mother’s hair. These children are all doomed. It makes me so sad and enrages me, but I’m going to try really hard not to freak out about the Duggars today. So please, please, nobody post how everybody should just leave them alone because they’re such a nice family and they aren’t hurting anybody. They are hurting their children by exploiting them in their crazy, sex-obsessed, misogynistic , racist cult. So…
Ok, that went well.
The same thought I always have: These people spread a ridiculous and dangerous message and should be taken off TV. The end.
Keepin’ the composure, Goodnames. I like it and well done.
I’m glad you called that sh*t out for what it really is: a cult.
the girls perm their hair and style it that way because that’s the way JIM BOB likes it. They’ve said that before. Ick.
.
And poor girl, feeling like an old maid at 24?? Maybe it will get her on a self sustaining career path where she will fall in love , not be married off by her dad
Gross!
The career path sounds like it’s so she can deliver the next generation of Duggars. It’s like some kind of nightmare Ponzi scheme. It would make a good horror movie.
Nicely done Goodnames and I couldn’t agree more!
Excellent way to describe this situation in few choice words.
Sex-obsessed? I haven’t followed them enough to know that aspect, but I have to confess that I’ve read several memoirs of women who’ve escaped various religious cults, and sexual domination of young girls always seems to be the defining factor of fringe “religions.” Actually, it’s the defining factor of several mainstream religions, too. WTF?
What do you mean by mainstream religions? I am a Presbyterian and sex obsessed has never entered into my religion. I whole heartedly disagree with you!
Dottie – I didn’t say *all* mainstream religions, but living in a culture where everyone from political parties to the Supreme Court argue that religion is a valid excuse for elderly men having an opinion on my uterus, I can’t help but find *some* mainstream religions a tad suspect where gender and sexuality are concerned.
Agree w/ you. And it comes out in the form of wanting to control everyone else’s sex life. I’m suspecting Presbyterians have rules around who gets to have sex and under what circumstances.
To bettyrose: Right on sistuh!
With You all the way GoodNames.
I just can’t with this group today.
When have they shown racism? I haven’t watched much of this show but tell me when they have been racist?
If you read up on their religion and what they actually believe, but don’t say on the show, they have so many children because they fear that white people are going to be outnumbered by people of color.
I’ve heard the same thing. The congregants are encouraged to multiply to maintain the majority and they’re suppose to remain racially pure.
Omg, ha ha!!! no way, oh America you never cease to amaze. Now THAT would get some monster ratings!
Because of color? Or because there will be a bigger population of Christians in their sect? I thought it was the latter.
She USED to wear her hair like Michelle’s. now she wears it straight. They’re all changing their appearances a lot- slightly shorter skirts, more modern fashion, no little house on the prarie dresses. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve become a bit disillusioned with their religious leader and are maybe starting to gradually move more towards mainstream Christianity.
eh, don’t worry, from what I’ve read they have about a 50 % attrition rate, worse than the mormons, and mostly the women, who they in particular need. Turns out most women don’t want to quit there jobs and sacrifice independence of thought, autonomy, and the ability to actually express emotion for opportunity to turn their vaginas into clown cars for an obscure bible passage
go figure
http://www.cracked.com/article_21061_5-insane-lessons-from-my-christian-fundamentalist-childhood.html
Oh mah gudness, her WOMB is goin’ to dry right up if she doesn’t get moving!! She needs to think of her OVARIES. 24 and no chilren yet?
I think I need some smelling salts at this point.
*wanders off muttering about wild youth these days and dry wombs*
Ahahahahaha! Gold.
Pass the Laudanum, please, I feel a bout of the vapors coming on.
I hope she’s gay. I mean. it’s probable that at least one of the kids are. I’d love to see how the parents would react to that.
She would sent to be “cured” if she were. If any of those kids ever came out they better have an EXCELLENT support system for all of the vileness from their loving Christian family and the family’s leghumpers that would come their way.
I hope she’s NOT gay. I hope none of the children are. They’d never be able to come out and would be married off into a heterosexual relationship. It would be a sad existence.
doh, beat me too it!
Why do you think she is gay? Just because she isn’t married at 24? Really? Are you serious?
I honestly hope none of them are gay. I really can’t see how any of the kids would be able to deal with something like that. Eternal denial, and extreme self-hatred that would most likely end in suicide. It would be very difficult for the kids to admit to themselves that they are gay, let alone that that’s OK.
I have always thought this exact thing. Statistically someone in that family is gay. I can’t WAIT until one of the remaining 15 kids comes out of the closet. Oh wait….never gonna happen.
I hope none are gay, for reasons stated above, but I wonder how one of their marriages would work out if it turned out they couldn’t have children.
Cel, if they couldn’t have children, they’d think that was god’s will for them.
I hate when people say this crap. Could you be any more mean? Why don’t you focus on your own life instead of wishing people were gay?
And no, it’s nothing against gay people. It’s the same as another poster said- it could lead to a horrible internal struggle and possible suicide. No kid deserves that. Instead of posting stupid shit on the internet why don’t you go help someone who is already struggling? Maybe make a difference today instead of being hateful.
I doubt any of them have a clear understanding of what being gay is and would probably take years to recognize the qualities in themselves. Like they would probably finally get it when they’re senior citizens.
Omg I thought same thing. Maybe she is flinging with one the Bates sisters. I think that is the other family they hang with that has like a million kids. They are like the poor mans duggars.
A collective mental illness, if you ask me.
This might be even more accurate than “cult”. You b*tches are smart.
Back atcha
Please don´t insult people with real mental health issues in comparing them to the Duggars.
The Duggars act like this by choice. It´s not an illness. There isn´t any excuse for their disgusting and vile behavior.
Thank you Mint! +1
Although I wonder if the daughters actually do have a choice, sadly.
Ok but there are signs that point to Michelle Duggar suffering from mental illness–and not just because you’d have to be insane to have 20 children.
At the very least, the entire family is completely brain-washed.
As far as it being by choice? I urge you to research the Quiverfull Movement-many of these young women are subject to marital rape, sexual and emotional abuse. These women are often treated as objects to be acquired and controlled by men, not as actual family members or partners.
Stockholm syndrome?
Ok let me explain my comment:
Jim Bob Duggar acts like this by choice. It´s his law, his views, his way his rules and his wife and kids have to submit to it.
Maybe in the beginning his wife was sharing some of his views but today it doesn´t matter what she thinks or wants in her life, because she was “taught” over time that she isn´t an equal partner, she isn´t suppose to have own needs, dreams, goals etc.
The kids are brainwashed. They are being raised to believe these things right from the start. Yes, they are being forced to live like this and it´s hard to break out of this circle.
Maybe it is some kind of mental illness to rule/ dominate / reign over your family like that. That would be comforting, because in reverse it would mean that there is a cure or at least treatment for Jim Bob and people like him. But sometimes people are just abusing assh*les, misogynist, racists and homophobes and there isn´t a reason (like mental illness) to explain their behavior.
Original Kitten is right – the Duggars play down the whole Quiverfull association but it’s clearly part of their belief system alongwith the who Advanced Training Institute a la Bill Gothard. The Duggars infuriate me…they say they are leaving preganancy happening “in God’s hands” but then utilize everything available in modern medicine if there’s a problem (like Josie’s birth…if left up to God alone, Josie would not have survived). So they clearly want it both ways and just use the God excuse when it’s convenient. Also, their tv show doesn’t show the reality of a lot of these families, specifically mothers without a lot of older daughters to shoulder the parenting load, not to mention the financial hardships without TLC footing the bill! Just last month, a mother of 15 ended her life after struggling with depression: http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=22746
It’s not all light and sweetness and females in this type of situation have a huge and heavy burden. If Michelle didn’t have all those older daughters to look after all these babies, I really wonder if everything would be so wonderful in her world. She’s lucky she popped out so many females early on instead of males because the males wouldn’t be helping change diapers or potty train or cook. What a life to look forward to. Maybe Jana is holding off because she doesn’t want to start on the baby-every-year train just yet. Also, I heard she did have a “special friend” but Jim Bob didn’t approve of him so the courtship never happened. I feel so bad for her. She really has no chance to have a life of her own at all, or even to get to know herself. On the episode at the Creation Museum she mentioned that she thought Evolution made sense but that it couldn’t be true because it didn’t agree with the Bible and Jim Bob told the cameras that he tells the kids that evolution isn’t factual.
@Mint-your explanation makes perfect sense and you’re right. The two are not comparable. Thanks for the detailed explanation and I get it now.
@Suzie-YES. So much weirdness and just..no.
Just can’t with this family.
I went and googled them and now I can’t, either.
Well now I can’t even.
Once she’s a qualified midwife maybe she can assert some independence. Maybe not, but at least she’ll have a career. I think it’s great for her she’s not married and pushing out a baby every year. I look at Josh and Anna who have had three kids in four years and I wonder if Anna really wants to continue in that pattern of being a baby making machine and a household drudge. I guess so since she seems quite happy.
I haven’t seen the show in a while but every time Anna was shown she never looked genuinely happy, it always seems forced.
Celebitchy is incorrect. Jana was never studying to be a midwife – that was Jill. Even though Jill is twenty three years old, she could not leave the house without the company of someone else – that was Jana. Jana (supposedly) is interested in being a doula, but many believe it was simply an excuse to explain why she was always with Jill.
I’ve watched the show on and off for years, and by far – Jana is the kindest of the bunch. She’s been completely broken down and is utterly submissive. She and Jill raised all the younger siblings. Jana has been sent to Weight Watchers (Gothard requires women to be thin), and repeatedly sent to programs that break a girl’s spirit.
I personally believe that Jana will never escape. She and Jill were the work horses, and Jill is now gone. Jim Bob and Michelle will expect to be cared for when they’re old. The youngest is special needs, so she won’t be caring for them. I think Jana’s stuck taking care of the youngest, followed by caring for her parents as they age. It sounds unbearable, and that’s probably why this girl always seems so downtrodden.
She’ll never be a qualified midwife because her education has been so awful. Maybe she can hold towels or something.
SEEMS is the operative word here. Their show is a commercial for their religion. They will never be portrayed as unsatisfied anymore than a person eating in an Olive Garden commercial would be. It’s all PR.
She’s pretty without the awful hair.
I agree, it would be nice if one of the girl decided to do something else and get married at 30 to a man she chose.
A lot of the kids are really cute and the older girls are very attractive. The boys start moving to Jim bob territory as the get older.
The Duggars come off as so strange and I bet people from Arkansas don’t love the fact that this cult, oops scratch that I meant to type “family”, has been put in the role of representing their state.
You would be correct.
I do have to say that it is common to get married young. My sister is 30 and isn’t married and when we went out and ran into people she got asked over and over if she was married or had any kids. It really annoyed me, but she said she was used to it.
It’s probably not as common in the bigger cities where there’s more to do, but in the area where I live it is.
I’m from arkansas and they suck. I was 33 when I got married and people did pretty much act like I needed to hurry up and get married or die.
I hope you told them to mind their own business. What morons.
Thirty three sounds like a good age if one is going to worry about the age thing. By thirty most people know what they want, what they are willing to put up with and what they just can’t tolerate.
But, there are people who still are not sure about those things at age 30 and I say give them the time they need to figure it out before they make the most important commitment of their life at that time.
I’ve watched the show a few times and they are beyond strange,especially Michelle Duggar. She has this weird look in her eyes and a smirk that can only be described as creepy.
Probably because she’s dead inside and her only value to her husband is as a baby-making machine.
I wonder if she will start getting weirder as she ages. Eventually she’s either going to have to stop getting preggers or die, and what value will she have to old JimBob then?
I think that Jana has been picked to be an “old maid”. She’ll live at home & cook, clean, & raise her siblings, and when they leave, she’ll take care of her parents until they die.
All of which is fine – if it’s a choice made freely. In Jana’s case she’s just a beaten-down, brainwashed slave.
When her womb is no longer fruitful, Jimbob could have a convenient vision from god that he is to take a virgin. Like Abraham and Joseph Smith before him. And since god is all made up anyway, who could argue the validity?
Well its FINE for the boy to get married older-he’ll just find some 19 year old and it will be a-okay with that family *eye roll*
And of course they aren’t vetting any relationships for her-her job is the be the main parent. Can’t have Michelle actually doing any real work with the younger kids after all.
I just can’t with this family. I have no idea why they are so popular.
MIchelle is really lazy, isn’t she? Thinking about it, I’ve never actually seen her do ANY work on their TV show. Michelle is all for show.
well actually she is a working womb
This is someone who has said she makes it a point to nap for X amount of time every day, and attempts to spend 1 hour one on one PER WEEK with each kid. She’s a lazy parent.
The only ‘work’ I’ve ever read/seen her do is that blanket training thing they had on their child rearing blog back in the day. When the kids start to crawl, you put them on a blanket, and then if they try to crawl off the blanket you smack them. Eventually the kid learns not to leave the blanket, and you can set them on there and go about doing whatever. One would think a playpen would be easier.
Oh my god, L. I wouldn’t even ever do that to my dog. That’s horrifying.
Wtf? Have they never heard of play pens? Why does it not surprise me at all that they smack their kids?
@L, typically the babies are either hit with a wooden spoon, or just terrorized with it. That doesn’t sound much better, does it? I can’t imagine not only hurting or frightening a baby for simply MOVING, but also stifling their natural curiosity – which develops their little brains. I believe it’s simply the first step in the long journey of breaking your child’s spirit, and teaching them not to trust.
@L-I typed in “blanket training” into Google & guess who pops up? The Duggars. Wow. There are a lot of articles siting this “training” as child abuse as well as other articles on this family. Very eye opening.
Omfg I just googled too. Are they serious?
It is interesting because in from a large family and was raised with a crazy mother forcing an absurd religion down our throats and all 11of us escaped her. Why can’t these do the same? I guess we went to public school and college so that was key.
That’s interesting, and I think you’re probably right. You had a chance to meet other people and see other lifestyles, and could then know that there was something else out there if you wanted it. That’s what makes me sad for kids like these, they’re kept in such a small little bubble, they never have the opportunity to make any kind of choice about their own lives.
The only outside glimpse they have is of Jim Bob’s sister and niece, who are not part of the cult but still interact with the family. I’ve been hoping for at least one of the kids to turn to them for help with escaping.
That’s the thing that is so scary…they aren’t allowed to even know what is out in the world so how can it be a true choice?! It’s not. They clearly don’t believe in higher education, certainly nothing secular. Everything they do online is monitored and even when courting, their texts and phone calls are monitored. They can’t even go shopping without an “accountability partner” to make sure they keep to the program.
Their show makes it all look so easy and sweet that a lot of people buy into it without really understanding what the true beliefs they follow are. They ascribe to the ATI, an oganization founded by Bill Gothard, who is currently being investigated for numerous accounts of sexual misconduct with young women. Jim Bob is on the council of his organization and they believe things like children should always be happy and put on a happy face because to do otherwise is disrespecful to their parents. and that women are obedient to men and children need to be kept away from harmful secular influences like school etc. (more info here: http://powderroom.jezebel.com/how-are-the-duggars-dealing-with-the-gothard-sex-scanda-1581883720).
Since the show and the opportunities give to the on the show, they’ve traveled to many places, albeit with their parents, but in that way are being exposed to more than their little church and town. I guess still they are ingrained in mom and dad’s lifestyle, and they haven’t hit a kid yet who is more independent and not going along with the program. They’ve got 20. Give them time. They will hit a few that won’t follow the Duggar plan for them after high school, who are more feisty in personality and will rebel.
Suzy, thanks for that link. Article was amazing and hilarious. Then video, OMG those pinafores!
It’s sad, what these religious tenets do to children and families. I hope she becomes a kick-ass midwife and moves to a big city.
These people disgust me. Why are they given a TV show is beyond me. I’d watch the Kartrashians any day (and I loathe their blatant gifterism) before I’d give one second of my viewing time to these fundie loons.
Chances are one of them is gay, gotta be with that number of children but their view on the world is so damn skewed that I feel sorry for them. They are kind but that are also very narrow minded that while they have the ability to go anywhere, they do not have the ability to see. I can’t wait for the “reunion” show 20 years from now.
So this family is famous for having lots of children? Or something else? (Sorry not American)
They have/ had a reality show. They are famous for birthing out lots of kids, religious fanaticism and intolerance towards others. The mother is in her 40’s and still wants to have MORE babies after having 19 or 20 kids already. The father arranges marriages with like minded people for his kids.
American here, never watched, only read blurbs about how their religious fervor has gone terribly awry in the impact of the children, especially females.
Thanks for the replies. So reality TV religious weirdos who don’t believe in birth control.
“how their religious fervor has gone terribly awry in the impact of the children, especially females. ”
What do you mean by this? I can’t stand the Duggars, so if I’m missing some potential ammo for whenever someone defends those idiots, I’d like to know about it.
@Algernon, I think we can agree that the belief system hasn’t exactly provided a healthy environment and mindset in these children within modern day society, can’t we?
@Kiddo
Oh yeah, of course. I just thought there was a specific anecdote I hadn’t heard.
Basically. They are a fundamentalist Christian family. The mother has given birth to 19 living kids. They have a political view that people like them should have as many children as possible in order to eventually create a majority that can start voting and swaying national politics towards their own views. They do not allow their children to attend public schools and deeply control their educations and lives. It’s presented as this happy-go-lucky sweet show but its really disturbing if you watch it long enough.
I have an interesting perspective on this. I am the oldest of 8. I’m 34 and the youngest is 11. 6 boys and 2 girls. We are not catholic or Mormon. Everyone asks that. 😉
When I was younger, up until the time I was about 22, I had a big role in raising the middle kids and helping to keep the house clean while my mom mostly dealt with the baby at the time. Is it healthy or normal? No.
My insight is that I helped out mostly because I wanted my siblings to have attention from a caregiver and a clean home. I did it more for them than for my mom. They had no say in the matter, they were just born into it.
Maybe it’s the same with Jana.
That’s interesting – I can see that being the case with Jana. Mother Duggar can’t possible keep up with all the kids on her own.
I don’t think Michelle even wants to be involved in her children’s lives, to a certain extent. She’s addicted to being pregnant, yes, but seems to keep herself emotionally distant from her children. That’s what I’ve always felt from watching them, anyway.
I have only watched one or two episodes, years ago. The buddy system was mentioned and the impression I got is that the older kids shoulder the bulk of daily responsibilities. Mama was more of a lazy, happy little executive of the family operations.
My mom was the same – she was the oldest of 6 with a gap of 15.5 years from oldest to youngest. My mom was the honeymoon baby and my uncle the “change of life” baby (she was 39). My mom basically raised my uncle since my grandmother refused to walk around with a toddler. When she got married, my uncle had a room in my parents’ house/apartment so he could stay there on the weekends. It was my mom’s job, I guess. My grandmother was clinically depressed and my grandfather was a veteran suffering from PTSD and alcoholism, so she had to clean, work a job to help pay bills, and take care of the kids when my grandmother was bedridden. It is definitely a hardship on the kids – my mom still has major issues thanks to her childhood.
My dad is the oldest of six and is 14 years older than my youngest uncle, who is much closer in age to me. When I was little, he was practically living with us, because he was with us so much. My grandfather was gone, so my grandmother had to work two jobs. My next two youngest uncles (who were quite a few years older) were also working after school, so weren’t home to babysit, Rather than have my uncle home by himself at age 9, 10, 11, my parents watched him and took him with us whenever we went somewhere. I grew up thinking of him more as a big brother than an uncle.
Except Michelle doesn’t even want to deal with the babies-once they are about 2 they get paired off to a older sibling in the ‘buddy’ system so she can get pregnant again and they play with a new born while they are cute.
I’m sure Jana is trying to step up for her siblings-but she shouldn’t have to. Helping out is one thing, but Michelle should be a better parent.
@L, it’s worse than that. When the baby is six months, Michelle weans it to increase her fertility. At that point, the baby is bumped to a sister-mom who sleeps with, feeds, bathes, wakes up in the middle of the night with, etc.
Oldest of 10 here. My mom was 5th of 18. I feel your pain.
That is such b.s that ” In Arkansas, you are considered an old maid at 24″ What utter nonsense. Maybe that was the case 100 years ago. Arkansas is not full of idiotic hillbillies who can’t wait to get married. Good grief. These Duggars give anything associated with them a bad name. Maybe in that disturbed family you are considered an old maid but outside of that house, that is not the case and I am not even from Arkansas but have enough sense to know that.
Thank you! I swear I hate stereotypes of ANY kind and this bugged me, too. I’m not from Arkansas either but I’m from a place that gets lumped into a stupid stereotype and it’s annoying.
Imagine if Jana isnt interested because she is a Lesbian and is stalling?? that would make My LIFE! (And statistically? Arent they overdue for a few lgbt children?)
Because she isn’t married at 24? Are you really serious about that?
Frankly, she seems to have no good options. If she wanted to get married, she’s be marrying a man who her father has picked for her and who she may/may not be compatible with. If she remains single, she’d be expected to serve as the help for her parents. No good options there. Part of why 24 seems so young to us is because its usually considered the stage of life when you are getting educated, getting a career going, becoming independent and exploring relationships. Jana has none of that. Even if she got married, she’d be expected to be a baby-maker and be the “support person” to her husband and kids. And how is that different from what she does now? Very little. She probably has no enthusiasm for either choice, since they’re basicaly the same.
This is so sad to me. She is 24! Her life should be just about starting as opposed to being thrown into spinster nanny mode for her siblings. I hope she works her way out of this!
And while statistically one of those kids pretty much has to be gay, I really hope none of them are for their sake. I don’t care how “sweet and wholesome” this family portrays themselves, this is just heartbreaking.
I think about where I was at 24… Just finished university, had my first real “career” job, was a working gal in the big city, having the time of my life and traveling quite a bit to see my boyfriend as we lived in different cities. It was just awesome and I learned so much about myself and life then. Poor Jana is missing out on so much. Who the hell cares if she wants to get married or not, the fact is: SHE’S MISSING OUT ON LIFE IN GENERAL!!!
So true!! I got married at 22, but that was my own choice, and it never stopped me from going to school, getting a good job, and having adventures & travelling. This poor kid (even at 24 she is basically a child due to no life experiences), has had none of that – not even the independence to hang out at the mall alone. Her life is being taken away from her, one day at a time. She’s a prisoner with no hope of parole. 🙁
EXACTLY! 24 was the beginning of golden years of exploration and freedom. I was raised in a very restrictive, religious environment and graduated from the religious college. It was sex drugs and rock and roll for a good long time after all that and I’m forever grateful. What a ride. Choose to become a mother rather late in life after finally finding a worthy man. So amazing to have choices. I never take it for granted.
meant to say “chose”, as in I chose to become a mother….
Ugh, the Duggars. I’ve been praying for Jinger to be the lone dissenter who breaks loose of their creepy compound, runs off to live a secular life and ends up writing a tell-all about her weirdo fundie family, but hey, if Jana does it, more power to her. Frankly I can’t stand pretty much any of the reality families on TLC, with the notable exception of the Kleins (the Little Couple), who are the nicest and most normal of the bunch.
I LOVE the Little Couple. Jen is an amazing woman.
Jen Arnold is hardcore. Beat cancer and adopted two kids in a year AND promptly went back to work as a doctor.
And those kids are freaking adorable. Will is the happiest little boy I’ve ever seen.
To save the gene pool of the future from her family, JD really needs to marry/have kids with a dude a different race – like an amazing african dude or viviacious vietnamese guy or loving luscious latino or passionate punjabi The kids would more than likely be cuter than the Duggars, genetically stronger and thus more intelligent, and it would bring a cultural flavour that the show lacks.
Why would they be cuter?
That’s an oddly worded statement. Why would the kids be cuter, smarter and stronger genetically just because they are not fully white? Just a little confusing.
I’m assuming Mitch was aiming for “not inbred” and went for the extreme of genetic variety. Relax.
It’s still a bit of a racist comment, intentional or not.
That’s a little racist, although I am sure you didn’t mean it to be. And their looks aren’t the problem.
I’m an American viewer (I watch in half disgust!) and my perspective is this: first of all, 25 is NOT an old maid in Arkansas or anywhere else in the US. I have many FB friends from all over the US and I’d say that 25-29 is the average age of getting engaged or married. I am almost 27 and am married with one child but I feel I got married EARLY (at 23) and I’d say 60% of my friends are still dating while the other 40% are married or married with kids. America is NOT Saudi Arabia where women need to secure a man by 21 or are shamed as childless spinsters.
On the Duggars: I think Jana is shy and perhaps less interested in male attention (Hi Jessa!) and enjoys the role of near-mama she gets by caring for her younger siblings. She is the type of woman who will probably get married soon, to a man a few years older who is ready to have children ASAP. Unlike Ben Seewald, who is a BABY, way too young to think about being a husband and father. I’m not surprised Jim Bob hasn’t ‘allowed’ him to pop the question. Although, I do truly believe Ben and Jessa are fooling around in some sort of pg-13 way, its just obvious by the way they act and look at each other.
Also, with Jill on her own and Jessa halfway out the door, Jinger and Jana are the only two older girls (read: mama types) left. Once the 4 of them are gone its just Joy-Anna with 6 younger brothers and then like 5 infant girls after them. Michelle knows she will really have to raise her own kids after her older girls are out of the house. I think her and JB are taking advantage of Jana’s shy nature by not setting her up with someone because I do think that is what she wants, as she hasnt really embraced midwifery wholeheartedly. I don’t really blame her for feeling like an “old maid” living in that house and religious community, even if it is all bullshit.
Now I need to face the fact that I spend like 10 minutes discussing the f-cking Duggars…
I don’t think anyone in the real world considers 25 an old maid.
I agree. And it’s not surprising that Jana does perceive her age that way, as she has been living in an entirely limited world concocted by her parents.
Sorry, but I used to live in Arkansas, and yes they do consider 25 and over, not married to be an “old maid”.
Well, then Arkansas needs catch up to the rest of the world, now doesn’t it?
Jana is a grown woman. She has the ability to give notice and leave. Yes, that’ll require sacrifice: she may be exiled from her family. But from the looks of things, her folks are sacrificing Jana’s life right now. Unless she’s truly comfortable being an unpaid sitter, it’s time for Jana to grow a spine and take control of her life–at least on some level.
Guaranteed: if she takes no action, nothing will be improved.
That’s easy to say, hard to do. Remember, Jana has spent all 24 years of her life completely enveloped within this family. She has never once attended school. She has never had the freedom to cruise the Internet, or read whatever she wants or socialize with whoever she wants. She knows only what her family has told her.
I compare this to cults for a good reason. I was actually privileged to learn from a professor who specialized in cult movements and who actually spent time meeting with and researching the Jonestown survivors. The Duggars are very similar. Jim Bob and Michelle might have their choices, but how much choice can exist for a person who has been submberged in it since birth? I don’t put the onus on Jana to “grow a spine” and leave. It would be equal to demanding why a fully-indoctrinated cult member can’t just up and walk away. Her family is her whole life, and the prospect of leaving is, for her (and like cult members) a very real form of Death.
I blame the parents for this situation. Blaming the kids is tantamount to victim-blaming, in my mind.
I get what you’re saying, and I truly hope she does leave, but I think it’s harder than it sounds. They aren’t allowed much contact with the “real” world, so their beliefs are largely based on the bs they’ve been told since birth. And she has essentially been a mother to many of these children, so it may be hard for her to leave them, especially knowing she would be cut off from them completely. I feel so sorry for her.
She has no real skills or education, how can she just leave? And most importantly, she doesn’t have a job so no money to support herself. Michelle and Jim-Bob-Numb-Nuts have really done their children SUCH a disservice, especially their grown daughters.
Her share of any money she earned with TLC is doubtless in the greedy, grubby hands of JimBoob. To have survival money, she would have to sue him for a share. If Jana leaves, she can choose between scratching and clawing for a living, or risk permanent alienation from her family by suing her parents.
Where is she going to go? They don’t have friends. The people she does know are fundies like her family. What is she going to do? She has a putrid education. She was training to be a doula most likely because her sister Jill was training to be a midwife and they didn’t want Jill going out alone. Jill got married and seems to have stopped or is delaying for the time being her midwife training.
Jana is beautiful. She’ll find a husband eventually. The longer she puts it off the less likely she is to have double digit kids. Could be she doesn’t want a giant family.
There is even a pack of baby wipes in the background of that last pic. That says it all.
And Terence Howard is single so there’s a match!
That’s appalling! They buy packaged baby wipes when they could be making their own?!
Out of all the posts on Celebitchy, it is the Duggar posts that get me worked up the most. I think I actually feel real anger, when I think about how the girls in their family are treated and controlled. Honest to goodness real infuriating anger.
Me, too.
These people sound like excellent reasons for supporting interventionist social services and to hell with parental rights…..morbidly abusive things going on, in full view of a huge tv audience, and the family’s permitted to repeat the cycle ‘ad menopause’? The mind reels at that point…whom does the creep impregnate after that?
Blimey, roll on the 20th century.
Ditto!
What all you jelly h8trz fail to recognize here is that they’re just kickin’ it Victorian style. Prior to the 20th century, it was pretty typical for the eldest daughter to be a maiden who first raised the siblings and then cared for the aging parents.
Lololololol. “Kickin’ it Victorian style”. I am so stealing that. With your permission, of course!
It’s all yours. Use it in good health! 🙂
Yeah, but bona-fide Victorian parents did a much better job of actually finding husbands for their daughters. They took their girls to dances, parties, picnics and anywhere else where marriageable men were likely to congregate. They cultivated friendships with the parents and siblings of eligible men. The Duggar parents are worse than Victorian; they’re antedeluvian.
PortlandJan:
I’ll admit I know more about literature than actual history, but I love that your post is describing proper Victorian families pimping their daughters out to eligible bachelors. It was mostly with good intentions for the values of their time period, but finding a rich husband was the best thing that could happen to their daughters – not love, not personal fulfillment; So, while the Duggards are actually more extreme than the Victorians, the end result is the same, finding a suitable husband for the virgin daughters (with the exception of the one daughter -eldest or otherwise- that the parents hold onto to care for them in old age. That part is true and was still happening in the early 20th century).
Setting aside the Duggar family’s unbelievably ridiculous religious views … it should be observed the family also qualifies as a “cult.” Either you are in the cult or you are not. Jana can’t break away without losing everything. Her career choice is interesting…
I do not watch this show for so many reasons. The main one is I cannot handle the creep factor. It’s so high the needle broke. And now I have another reason-they have a duaghter named “Jinger”?! Please tell me this is not true. There is something so wrong about this mini-cult/womb farm. Gross. I hope this chick tell this Family Of The Corn to go shuck themselves and makes a break for freedom. do you think they spell it “vajina”?
The creep factor is high with this type of fundamentalism. They put all the onus on the women for creating lust in men. No let me correct that…the females, not just women. Even kids as young as 3 and 4 can be seen as sinful if their knees show or their dresses are too short. If sexual abuse happens in this type of religious family, the victim shares the blame as they dressed or acted in a way that created such feelings in men. I’m not saying that any sexual abuse happened in the Duggar household, this is stuff I’ve read about other families who follow the same belief system, although the Duggars do insist on modest dress and very old-fashioned modest bathing attire so as not to create lust in men (who clearly don’t have to take personal responsibility for their own lust! I mean what about teaching them self control!). Jim Bob creeps me out bigtime. Plus I think he and Michelle spend so much time talking about sex and inappropriate touching …they are obsessed imo. Where’s the faith in your children? Why do they always have to have a chaperone? Do they not trust them to follow what they say?
Hmm. Maybe she is into same sex love 🙂 Ooh imagine the scandal!
I’m sooo fortunate to have had the example of a great-aunt who didn’t get married until she was 63! I won’t be considered an old maid until I’m 64, so that gives me a few more years. Poor Jana!
I grew up in this kind of family, and so I always cringe when I see this sort of thing.
My heart hurts for the kids. They don’t know. They literally don’t know what it is they’re missing. And so for them it’s not a simple matter of getting up and leaving or bucking tradition. You can’t “buck tradition” or “push back against your family” when you have no real understanding of what the alternative is or that it’s there.
Speaking as someone who was disciplined for most of her childhood with thoughts of hellfire, eternal damnation, and God’s love being taken from me for behaving in any way my parents disliked or disapproved of, I can say that it is a hard hard thing to fight against a belief system you’ve internalized without even realizing it.
I know to the rest of America the family is pretty much a freakshow or an object of entertainment, but it’s so sad to me.
I totally relate to your comment.
A lot of these ultra conservative, fundamentalist faiths will judge people harshly if they are over 21 and not married. Just another good reason to stay out of these religions. Nobody needs to feel second-rate just because they are single
I like to think that this is a family of brilliant actors, maybe not even all related, who are working from a very detailed script. In between takes, they sit around and shoot the shit, smoking joints and making fun of the Quiverfull movement. A few of the girls moonlight as pornstars and at least one of the boys is a dancer in an all-male revue. Jim Bob is gay and Michelle runs a high-class escort service. Maybe the joke’s on us?
That would be brilliant. I also can’t wait for Ann Coulter’s reveal as a genius performance artist.
The Duggar’s religious belief is that a woman’s only purpose is to get married and have children. They misuse old testament scripture to support that. Anything else is verboten.
Independent thought or action outside of Daddy’s approval is considered a grave sin.
Until the woman gets married she is to stay under control of her father. Really, really sad these people. Fortunately most Protestant denominations don’t practice that crap.
all religions have this element, but some are better at modifying it or at least hiding it.
What amazes me is that no one ever call them out . Josh works in Washington DC for anti-gay. No one ever mentions that. They have been on Anderson Cooper more than once and he fawns over them like everyone else.
I seem to recall hearing years ago that Josh had a little problem with pornography. As in, he was caught with it and had to repent profusely for his sins.
She’s a grown woman. She can move out any time she wants.
She has only a homeschool education, no real money of her own and risks being shunned by her family and community if she takes off on her own. Where can she go? How can she support herself? Marriage is her only way out of her family but it means starting the cycle over. I have no doubt Jessa knows this and is planning her own little rebellious lifestyle once she is married to Ben. I sure as Hell don’t see HER with 19 kids!
Not as easy as one would think. I was raised in a cult and I did leave, but I started plotting around 3rd grade and didn’t truly extricate myself permanently until I was a young adult. And the cult I was raised in was not as intense as quiver full, in my opinion.
The Duggars are no different than the Taliban, control women, use for breeding, men get educated, women stay home and clean house and cook. Jimbob vetts who the kids can date, how they date or interact with society, there is no choice other than who he says you can date, and that happens only as he approves. If you aren’t in that crazy Evengelical loose knit cult they subscribe to, you will not be allowed near his family. Same as the Taliban elders. Notice the absolute hatred of any other religious belief, the judgement that everyone but them is going to Hell? That’s the same as the Jihadists beliefs. These are dangerous people, they don’t believe in the American value system, but take as much as they can out of the system to breed and exist, just as muslims do. The Duggars are really scary people, and have very negative values. No one is allowed a real life in that family.
Y’all queda!
The Duggars are child abusers of the highest order and I can’t believe people watch and support that shit. They’re obviously insane. And I can’t begin to explain how bad I feel for the women in that family. Shit like that should be against the law. If you think that’s okay, even remotely, there’s something wrong with you.
Dysfunctional family systems tend to get carried over to the next generation. None of these children and they’re children will ever be functional, interdependent adults.
The article makes no sense. Her two younger sisters managed to meet guys. They were taking care of the younger kids also. It’s not like in that family she’s going to be out doing all kinds of stuff that would allow her to meet a guy different from the way the others met their husbands anyway, which is through the church or her dad knowing the boys and introducing them, etc.
Jana is so pretty. When I’ve watched it, I’ve always like her. She’s obviously had some guys after her with her looks. At least, she’s picky and maybe she will be more independent by waiting and not marry some handpicked suitor for her. Of course, what are the chances of that? Nada. She seems submissive to mom and dad’s wishes.
The one that married the accountant, she’s studying to be a midwife, so at least she’s going to have a career, at least until she’s saddled down with like five kids. I don’t know what Jana is doing beyond helping mama.
Most likely Jana is the biggest help to Michelle, and the most indispensable to her. Being the oldest daughter, she has had the most responsibility the longest taking care of the house and the younger children. I think Jim Bob and Michelle are the ones being really picky, they are holding out for the “perfect” man because they know the longer it takes to find him, the longer they will have Jana around to help. I can’t see that Jinger or Joy Anna would be nearly as much help as the others (Jana, Jill and Jessa), so Ma & Pa are holding on to the one that they know they can count on.
For Jana’s sake, I wish that she could find a decent young man that she can enjoy a nice, quiet life with and have a small little family of four or five kids. After spending most of her life already basically being a housewife and mother, she deserves a break. Actually, I hope that Jessa also has a chance to spend time as just a wife before they have kids, and don’t get on the same crazy train as her parents. Derrick’s family seems normal, anyway, and since in that religion the man says what goes, maybe there’s a chance that his normal family will have some influence on them instead of the Duggars, who seem to be quite the control freaks when it comes to managing their adult children’s lives. If only they could expend that much time, effort and energy raising their own little children instead of monitoring their adult children…
I wouldn’t be surprised, nor would I blame her, if having to raise her siblings has turned her off of having kids of her own. I hope these kids know that not procreating is an option.
cough cough
http://www.cracked.com/article_21061_5-insane-lessons-from-my-christian-fundamentalist-childhood.html