Last year, Angelina Jolie announced that she had gotten a double mastectomy because she, like her late mother, carried the BRCA1 gene. Angelina framed her double mastectomy as a proactive choice and her choice to make, a choice made after watching her mother battle cancer for years. More than a year later, people are still writing about “The Angelina Effect,” which saw more women get tested for the BRCA1 gene and more women make proactive decisions about their healthcare.
The publicity around Angelina’s choice and the announcement of her choice was overwhelmingly positive. Many people – including Brad Pitt – said that Angelina was brave and inspirational. Melissa Etheridge disagreed. In an interview conducted shortly after Angelina’s announcement, Melissa slammed the idea of Angelina’s “bravery,” saying: “I have that gene mutation too and it’s not something I would believe in for myself. I wouldn’t call it the brave choice. I actually think it’s the most fearful choice you can make when confronting anything with cancer. My belief is that cancer comes from inside you and so much of it has to do with the environment of your body. It’s the stress that will turn that gene on or not.”
Melissa is a breast cancer survivor, and many thought Melissa was basically saying, “Angelina should have just sat back and waited until she got cancer instead of cutting out healthy tissue.” Melissa doubled-down on her comments in a later interview, once again bitching about the use of the word “brave” to describe Angelina. Anyway, Melissa appeared on Watch What Happens Live several days ago and Andy Cohen asked her whether she’s ever run into Brad or Angelina following those comments:
Melissa says she’s never met Angelina and she hasn’t seen Brad in ten years, or basically since Brad and Jennifer Aniston split. There is an old-school vibe (mostly from Melissa’s expression like she and Andy are in on some joke) of Melissa being vehemently Team Aniston, like of course Melissa hasn’t ever spoken to Angelina because Melissa is faithful to her friendship with Aniston. Then Melissa triple-downs on this whole concept of NOT calling Angelina “brave” because she cut out “healthy tissue.” Yeah. Melissa was really, really offended that some people were calling it “brave,” because preventative mastectomies are always “fearful” to Melissa.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Poor not-brave, not-cool Angelina.
I’m sure Angelina is crying about people who say things like that. Until she considers the sources.
exactly…Ms E needs to STFU about Angelina. Different lives, different situations, different decisions. All legit.
She’s an idiot. Pure and simple. Who the eff isn’t fearful of getting cancer. How is it possible to miss the whole point of preventive mastectomies – that is, to NOT get cancer. Once you get cancer there is no telling if it can be defeated even after aggressive treatment. So, yes, cutting off healthy tissue to ward off cancer is an extremely brave act. Once you get cancer then how is it even an intelligent option not to.
And didn’t she say at an earlier point that she hadn’t seen Brad since like 2002 while he was still married to Jennifer? So now in the retelling it is supposedly due to Angelina? LOL! Talk about your coat tailing.
Melissa’s other brilliant medical opinions included holistic curing of her cancer (which didn’t work by the way so she had to get chemo after all) and not getting vaccinations for her children (the subject of a custody dispute with one of her exes). We need not even discuss the utter stupidity of using the sperm of a huge addict for your children.
She really is a nasty piece of work. She has so many issues her name should be Melissue.
Melissue LOL
Whenever I hear about Melissa saying anything, I put on my “oy this chick” t-shirt.
I’m wearing it now.
OT: There’s a (relatively recent) coffee stain on the front. When I look down it seems to be in the shape of one of Stephen Colbert’s ears …
I have a similar shirt but the second (third) word is slightly different.
Yeah, she want her! lol
Bwahahahaha @ Raptor
I was intrigued to read this only bc I saw there were so many comments but let’s be real, Raptor, you nailed it right off the bat!
Poor not brave and not cool Angie 😉
Bwahahahaha
Melissa Etheridge really sounds like an ass
She’s so defensive. Maybe she sees it as a criticism that if people think Angelina was brave that means people think she herself wasn’t brave.
Ahhhh good point!! Exactly… again the world revolving around her!
Melissa needs to shut her mouth about someone elses choices. go suck an egg, Melissa.
Yes, Melissa can’t seem to accept that another woman would make a different choice than she would. Angelina’s choice is as valid as hers. How hard would it be to say, “I don’t believe in cutting out healthy tissue when it comes to myself,” and leave off all the judgmental nonsense about how Angelina isn’t “brave?”
And, as an aside, I really hate the whole, “if you’re zen enough you won’t get cancer because it’s all stress” spiel. Coming from Melissa, who is a cancer survivor, it doesn’t seem so damning, but it’s not the first time I’ve heard this sort of sentiment. I can’t believe that people think because they eat eale or meditate, they’re never going to discover a tumor. I mean, would you really think that if someone got cancer, it’s because they somehow made the wrong choices in life and cancer is their punishment? Come on. Cancer doesn’t work like that. [ETA: obviously some lifestyle choices, like smoking, can cause cancer, but not eating enough kale and being stressed shouldn’t be considered in the same vein as smoking IMHO.]
Yep and agreed. Self-righteous judgemental people who believe that you ‘did something’ to get cancer or some such really piss me off. I’ll never forget a memory I have as a child and going with my mum and dad to this family oasis gardens place. It was just the 3 of us. They were sitting on the grass on a picnic cloth as I was coming out of one of the pools and some religious couple made a comment to/about my mum who was coughing due to her asthma. Basically saying mum must have done something bad to deserve having asthma. :O 🙁 It really ruined a family day. I was only about 8 years old and didn’t even realise then the significance of it all, just that mum was upset and dad was too. I often wonder if that woman ever got sick herself all these years (decades) later and does she blame herself for God giving her sickness? A bit off the topic, but suggesting you can avoid getting cancer if you do this and this and take this vitamin and meditate etc is very similar to saying a person obvious got bad karma or God punished them for something. There is no rhyme or reason to these things. Good people get sick, bad people get sick. Meditating, kale and thinking ‘positive’ will not prevent you from getting cancer altogether.
My mom was the most “zen” chick there ever was. Vegetarian before it was cool, yoga teacher since the early 70’s, meditated, never smoked or drank alcohol, etc. Guess what? She’s dead, from breast cancer. Comments like the ones Melissa made anger me to no end. My mom did everything right in Melissa’s book. But she still got cancer. I don’t know why, but I’d bet money she had the gene.
You can’t meditate cancer away. Can it help your state of mind and put your body in a place to facilitate healing? I believe yes. But it’s not quite that simple. If it was, my mom would still be here. I’ll stop now before I say what I really want to say to Melissa. I don’t condone violence, but I hope I never come face to face with this a’hole.
Melissa is right. Prevention always in general and in any shape or form is result of fear. You get vaccine because you don’t want to get sick, you fasten your seatbelt in case of crash not because you are brave.
I beg to differ. It’s still brave to have a double mastectomy when you don’t even need it yet. Many would wait until the last minute to have this procedure done purely out of vanity.
The only reason I’d think it’s not brave is because Jolie can afford to have breast implants immediately following the mastectomy, so she didn’t walk around breastless for even a day. I’m pretty sure they did it all at once. Still, many stick their heads in the sand and wait until it’s not an option, already cancerous, or possibly at such a late stage, it wouldn’t even help.
For the life of me, though, I can’t imagine anybody finding fault with Jolie’s choice. Who is Etheridge to judge anybody on anything? STFU Melissa and try not to bring another innocent kid into your dysfunctional relationships for PR purposes.
No matter why the decision to have a masectomy or even double masectomy.. I am sure it is never a decision made lightly, without some fear & some bravery. It is a life altering decision with a painful journey.. A journey each person hopes will turn out longer and healthier. To say it’s not brave to face such measures is unfair to those who do. Unless we walk a mile in their shoes and see what burdens they may carry.. I say both are brave and have fears..
JenniferJustice, I pretty much agree with you except that no matter how much money you have or no matter how brilliant your surgeon, the replacements are never as good or the same as your natural breasts. I think Jolie’s look pretty good but they’re not the same. Thankfully i have no idea what it feels like to endure that surgical procedure or what the implants feel like afterward but it is truly a brave ordeal to undergo when you are still healthy. A admittedly not great comparison would be people who prepare for the future by saving money now rather than enjoying it or paying for insurance, they may seem overly cautious now but when disaster strikes they look wise and are sitting prettier than those who didn’t take precautions.
This is simply not about right, or wrong. It’s about choices. And of course, having a mastectomy as a prevention (which it actually is NOT, since there’s always tissue left), is a decision that seems to be logical somehow, yet doesn’t really adress the many causes of this cancer, or the factors that can activate the foutive gene. So I do understand Melissa’s point, but I wouldn’t know why it bothers her so much that others see it as ‘brave’. It very much is a matter of perception, and understanding. And that obviously differs in people. The fear of getting cancer when having those mutated genes (which seems to be just human, and normal to me) would be adressed by each one of us on a very individual level, so there’s nothing to judge, to label, or to compare here.
I didn’t state that very well did I? I stick up for AJ’s choice because it is her choice. She also chose to do something that even though she has money to correct, is still scary. Who wants to be put under, have your breasts removed and go through all that pain and “oddness” of not having your natural breasts any more? Nobody. Sure, it makes it better to be able to have cosmetic surgery and implants right away. But it’s still scary to have any of it done. I don’t begrudge Angelina at all. I stick up for her to simply be able to make her own choice and not be judged for it. I didn’t mean to make it sound like just because she had them immediately replaced somehow made the experience a good one. I know it still must have been hard to go through.
Well said Ava
@JenniferJustice – I have a friend who just had a mastectomy and she has to wait about a year or so before she can get her new breast. A spacer is put in to start stretching the remaining skin so she can have a size to match her other breast. I don’t think AJ just walked out with a new set the next day.
Melissa needs to shut her pie hole. What an ass.
If I recall She had asked Brad Pitt for a sperm donation to have her children. he refused and she ended up using Dave Crosby’s (A significant down grade in genetic material.) Maybe she is still bitter about that. The point is that there is some history there that might color her POV.
LOL! I’ve heard the rumors but have no idea as to their veracity. But if that’s true then she should never mention Brad Pitt’s name again. Or at least never say a bad word about him or his family. They’re off bounds as far as she is concerned or at least should be.
@ Mike
“Downgrade” !?? Wow…That’s really rude!! I assume you’re superficially speaking (eww) as David Crosby is a brilliant musician…
Didn’t she go with David Crosby for the genetic material to raise gifted singers?
She certainly didn’t do it for looks or the ability to just say no.
@Stoner–Good one! Zing!
I think we use brave for anyone who goes through something we don’t want to face ourselves. So a breast cancer survivor is brave and so is someone who gets a preventive mastectomy. I don’t think we need to split hairs here or be so whiny and sensitive.
I do have to say, I think that doctors in large part are not supportive of Angelina’s style of treatment.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/09/02/345200586/double-mastectomies-dont-increase-cancer-survival-rates
“Women who had breast-conserving surgery had an 83.2 percent survival rate at 10 years, compared with 81.2 percent for those who had a double mastectomy. That meant that women who had breast-conserving surgery, also known as lumpectomy, did better and also avoided the risks of major surgery and loss of a healthy breast.”
Tiffany, I hear you, but my understanding is that A.J. had mastectomies before being diagnosed with cancer, whereas this article refers to results of mastectomy after being diagnosed.
While that is true, doctors still aren’t recommending double mastectomies for those with just the gene (and no actual cancer).
Actually, my doctor is advocating mastectomies if you have the gene. When I asked her about the testing, she told me point blank not to do it if I’m unwilling to face surgery. She strongly advocates for double mastectomy if you are positive for the gene. I also know several woman who have had their breasts removed due to the genetic component. So I’m not sure I agree with that statement Tiffany. Maybe some aren’t, but seems like some definitely are.
It is certainly something to discuss with your doctor. This is a very “of the moment” area of study, where they are discovering things every day and getting new information from long term studies. What might have been true last year might not be the conventional wisdom this year, etc. I think each woman should take trends in consideration, but it is very important to talk with your doctor about your specific situation.
Guess what…..I DON”T have the gene, but got breast cancer at age 40, had a mastectomy (one breast), did the chemo….etc …and 3yrs later the cancer spread to my bones and now recently to my ovaries….so bottom line is your health is your wealth and if you are going to get cancer…all the prevention in the world won’t help..if a cancer cell decides to mutate and divide..(removing breasts BEFORE cancer is a bit extreme and yes, completely fear driven decision, in my opinion) I am actually very happy I chose to keep my cancer free breast btw.
It’s ridiculous. Battling cancer is hard, just like having a double mastectomy is hard. They both struggled and no doubt both had to be brave, get over it Melissa.
The more I read/hear about her, the more unlikable and unattractive she is to me. She seems like such a nasty person. Even if she privately felt that it was a ‘fearful choice’ (or however she described it), why couldn’t she just say that it was a hard, difficult choice for any woman to make, and that it should be a choice that ALL women with the gene should be able to afford to make i.e. start a convo about women’s health, money, and insurance companies. Otherwise known as being a considerate person in public–instead of putting Angelina (and other women who made the same choice as her) down for being afraid.
+1
I agree. Why is she even commenting on another woman’s decision. Oh, and I don’t think Melissa knows the definition of faithful.
She comes across as a very bitter and unforgiving person.
Whether or not Angelina is brave…..Melissa E has cetainly wrung good mileage out of her story for herself.
🙁
Exactly. I think it also reveals her OWN fear, in that she has to belittle anyone who didn’t make the same choices she did. Because, subconsciously, she’s afraid she’s wrong.
BINGO! All criticism is a self-portrait.
Booya!
I have to wonder if it is really that, or perhaps she is concerned about people who will follow Jolie’s treatment style without thought to whether it is actually the BEST treatment for such a diagnosis?
As I posted above, women who chose a double mastectomy over more less invasive treatment have better survival numbers.
Agreed make it an issue on women’s health and insurance companies. She did change the wording of her statement but it still has the same vibe to me. how any women chooses to deal/fight cancer or the gene is up to them and should be commended. It’s her body and her right to do as she chooses.
Yes.
+1000000000
I couldn’t have said it better.
THIS a thousand times!
Yep. Responding this way reflects her immaturity. Shame.
I just don’t see how it isn’t brave. Was she afraid? Of course. Did she still do something about it? Hell yes. Was the choice she made easy? Of course not.
How many people are afraid of something, so choose to do nothing? Angelina confronted her fears and got pro-active. I’m no Angeloonie or whatever, but that made me definitely like her a whole lot. My own mother finally died of her third cancer and I’m TERRIFIED I’ll have inherited it, but I’m not brave enough yet to confront it. And I’m not even a Hollywood actress whose looks are a bit part of her appeal. How is also not brave to potentially mess with her money ticket??
M.E is a fool. But we already knew that.
Totally agree, Charlotte. I was speaking to a friend just yesterday about this because she is awaiting her results to find out if she has the gene. If it turns out she does have the gene, she’s already decided to be proactive for the same reason as Angelina was–her kids. I can’t stop thinking about her, and though I dearly hope that she won’t have to make the hard decision, I do believe she’s incredibly brave to be facing it head-on. As you said, it’s much easier to stick your head in the sand and do nothing until nothing is no longer an option (by which point it might be too late).
Petrichor,
I hope your friend has thoroughly discussed this with her doctor. Most doctors still recommend NOT getting a double mastectomy. As I posted above, women who have less invasive treatments have an better survival rate.
It is a complicated issue, and while I would never fault Jolie for choosing that for herself, I hope that women don’t blindly follow her and still discuss all the pros and cons with their doctors.
Tiffany this is the third comment you posted about doctors not recommending mastectomies while just carrying the gene. Are you a troll? Stop speaking out for doctors until you have the backing of the AMA please.
Pandy, there are over 230 comments on this thread. You REALLY think my 3 comments make me a troll? Bless your heart.
My mother actually had a “preventative” double mastectomy over 20 years ago, and she is the head of breast cancer treatment at a hospital. I live in another state, and have been treated by a group for women with the BRCA genes. Both groups, working with up to date information, do NOT recommend preventative double mastectomies for a ton of reasons.
I am simply sharing a tiny bit of the information that I have gathered, in the hopes that if someone is thinking of following in Jolie’s footsteps, that they take time and listen to their doctors and the science behind this decision. I am not speaking for doctors, so please don’t put words in my mouth. Thanks dear.
Thanks for the info @ Tiffany…well-informed, RESPECTFUL and informative as per usual!
Tiffany, if what you say is accurate, can you please provide links to research? I’m not doubting your experience, but if there is science that suggests alternatives to the preventative double mastectomy, I’d really like to read it and pass it along to my friend.
Thanks.
100% agree with everything that you wrote.
Exactly! I really used to like her. Now she’s just a bitter betty trying to get attention any way she can. Worry about your own boobs M.E.
and she never gave birth to any of the kids either so ME is not all that brave – also, ME is the perfect initials for a narcissist which it sounds like she is.
While I think it’s fair game to criticize Melissa for her comments on Angelina, I don’t think it’s fair to call her a coward for not carrying her children. Melissa was older than her partner in both relationships resulting in children, and Melissa was the primary or sole bread winner.
I’m not gay, but I think a gay couple’s decision making process when it comes to having children, probably comes down to many factors that have little or nothing to do with who’s brave and who’s not.
Well said, and couldn’t agree more.
Yeah, So Jennifer Aniston certainly has a lot of unpleasant celebrity people who are vehemently ‘pro’ her. I wouldn’t want M.E. on my team.
+1
Melissa is a nasty piece of work! The way she treated her Ex and mother of her kids Tammy Lynn michaels was disgraceful!
Chelsea Handler is also a horrible person. Making fun of children and such. Such bitter people in Aniston-land. Yuck!
So true.
Well, we don’t know if Melissa and Jennifer are still friends–or close friends, so we don’t know how close their friendship is……but she (JA) doesn’t need to be brought into the discussion.
Kaiser brought her into the discussion. Right there in the story. I was commenting on that.
Melissa said some years ago that she had not spoken to Brad since 2001 or 2002. That was while he was married to Aniston. I don’t know if she is friends with Aniston. I don’t hold JA responsible for Melissa E. big mouth. Obviously Brad doesn’t need or want to talk to her.
I think she may be trying to reach out to him too. I doubt he has contacted her after the first time she said this. Just because you were friends with someone a long time ago doesn’t mean it is still the same. A lot has changed. He is married with a family. She is not on the radar nor the grid. She seems pressed.
@Charlotte
Missed that. Hope I didn’t come off as preachy. But unless M.E. and JA are besties, then I don’t think that JA has anything to do with ME’s comments…or even if they were. ME has spoken about it twice….hardly gone on and on about like Chelsea Handler would’ve.
I think Etheridge made it clear during the Aniston/Pitt split that she was Team Aniston – now, whether she and Jen are friends, I have no idea; it was always my impression that Melissa was buds with Brad. I think she simply doesn’t like Angie, and is one of those people who believe one person can “steal” another away from their SO – as if a person is an inanimate object.
And you must admit it’s interesting that Aniston has these other celebrities who are happy to function as her attack dogs – they attack Brad and Angie while she has her highlights touched up. Not saying Aniston asks them to do it, or that she even knows that they’re doing it, but I do think it’s interesting…
I noticed that. ME, CH and her fans who say hateful things about them and their family. Birds of a feather flock together, and all that. I’ve always felt it says a lot about Aniston and the type of person she is and attracts. Certainly not sweet or down to earth people thats for sure. But hang on, how do we know ME even knows Aniston, let alone is even friends with her? I tried looking online and can find nothing linking the 2. Do they even know each other?
Edit, Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn, claims Etheridge cheated on her and that is what broke up their marriage and family. Hmmmm
photos:
http://education.alberta.ca/media/1234045/makingadifference_2010.pdf
http://ask.fm/jenniferanistonofficial/best
Melissa sang at Brad and Jen’s wedding:
http://www.celebritybrideguide.com/jennifer-aniston-brad-pitt-wedding/
http://ca.eonline.com/news/266941/10-best-weddings-ever-brad-pitt-and-jennifer-aniston-s-a-list-extravaganza
she and Jen and Brad haven’t kept up:
http://www.designntrend.com/articles/5435/20130628/melissa-etheridge-cut-ties-world-war-z-brad-pitt-dumping.htm
What is it to her if people call Angelina brave? She just wants publicity for her album, hence bringing up Angelina AGAIN.
+1
AJ seems to be the go-to target for a lot of attention seekers. Which is hilarious as AJ never rises to the bait – she is either unaware or simply unconcerned. The more shit people throw, the worse they make themselves look, and AJ comes out looking – as always – the far more mature and classy one.
^ agree. I love it that Angelina never pays attention to those miserable hags.
Also, ME must be very bitter about the “Angelina Effect.” She will never ever have that kind of widespread influence and goodwill so it must rankle her a lot.
Stop trolling Melissa, it is so unattractive.
Meh. Melissa seems like a complete mess in her personal life, but she has a right to her opinion about the choice to be proactive or not. Hard to tell if it is being drudged up by the interviewer so that people can talk about the triangle or if Melissa enjoys criticizing Angelina. Somehow I doubt Melissa is going to be much on an influence – she seems like a miserable gal.
That is the point.. Just like when I hear comments about Angie regarding fake breast.. it is gross.. because reconstruction is implants..
and as you say that “not brave” is not about Angie.. there are so many women that have made the same choice.. before Angie and after.
I don’t get when women do this. If I had to choose my breast and my life..the breast go without a thought. We see so many women dying because they are afraid of that choice. They go through so many treatments to save the breast..then at the end they lose them anyway and sometimes their lives
My breast don’t make me a woman. Obviously Angie has a man that loves and supports her decision and finds her sexy and desirable still. So does it matter what Melissa thinks. NOPE.
she needs to clean up her own messy life before pointing fingers at others.
You make a great point. Regardless of this woman’s public image or life decisions, she is entitled to her own opinion. I tend to sympathise towards Angelina, because she seems to be an essentially decent human being, but the apparent beatification of all things Angelina can be irksome, mainly because it is based on a perception of her public image, i.e. what is reported on them rather than knowing them personally. So from that perspective, if a lot of people claim Angelina was “brave” to do what she did, other people who may have a different perspective on life are equally right to voice their opinion.
I have not watched the interview, but based on the blog post, all I read from it is that a cancer survivor does not believe in that type of proactive course. Perhaps mainstream medicine has been far too imposed on us as a society backed up by pharmaceuticals, but Melissa does go on to state why she thinks it is a fearful decision to take: ” My belief is that cancer comes from inside you and so much of it has to do with the environment of your body. It’s the stress that will turn that gene on or not.”
Again, regardless of convictions, she is entitled to think that way, and perhaps I might find myself inclined to agree with this particular quote – this is where she is coming from.
At the end of the day, people adore reading too much into anything. I am happy to fly no flag in this “battle”.
I know that Melissa’s intent is to call Angelina a coward but she’s calling all women who do preventative mastectomy cowards. Angelina isn’t the first or only person to do this. I don’t think it’s cowardly to do whatever you can to help save your life. Besides a woman removing their breast isn’t an easy or fun decision to make.
Exactly this!!!
That is my exact problem with her comments. My friend Pam isn’t cowardly for choosing a prophylactic mastectomy. She’s brave in my book.
There IS a bit of fear involved in any preventative measure. But in this situation the preventative measure was one that women themselves fear. So its really a toss up and each woman’s own personal choice/opinion, and no one else should judge— meaning it doesnt necessarily need to be criticised OR praised. Preventative healthcare is however always wise…. sooooo… the scales just kinda keep tipping back to Angies favor regardless of how you view it.
I do get her distaste for how Angie/Brangelina is deified, it makes me sick, too- (which is nothing against the person, just the hype itself!) but that is one area where such a thought or feeling has no right to exist.
I totally agree with you. This is such a personal choice it defies logic to place any type of judgement over it. And yes the cult of personality thats developed around Angie sends otherwise rational people off into their pre-assigned camps. That masectomy was neither brave nor cowardly. It was a personal choice made by someone who hopefully was well informed of her choices, the end.
Teehe, you were able to verbalise my opinion in a much more efficient way. Agree with everything you say.
That’s right. Agreed that one can also be cowardly for not acting. I understand that this is nowhere near as severe as cancer and I am not saying it is. But, at the end of July I had my gall bladder removed. Now, for the better part of the first half of the year and into mid July I had been hospitalised multiple times for Acute Severe Pancreatitis due to gall stones. The pain was more horrific than words can say and I kept begging for more morphine in my cannula. YET, despite having been advised to have the Cholecystectomy the first time I got sick, I put it off for another 4 episodes, because as bad as the pain was (including 6 stones blocking my bile ducts and 1 lodged in the liver) I was so shit SCARED of having surgery. I was so so so terrified, it wasn’t funny. Its amazing what pain you will endure if you are desperately terrified ie toothache/dentist. But, I finally could not put it off any longer, I was told the next episode could kill me. As it was there were complications and what was a one hour surgery turned into me being operated on for three hours. However, I survived and it was the right decision. I was a coward and took the coward’s way out, I guess, by refusing to have surgery and hoping each episode wouldn’t happen again, but each time, it did. Of course, taking a pro-active, preventative approach and just having the surgery the first time would have saved me a lot and I mean a LOT of pain down the road. Yet I wasn’t brave enough to go through it until the seriousness was laid out to me. So, yes, one can say that its ‘whimpy’ to avoid surgery and brave to go ahead and do it.
As regards to the supposed ‘deification’ of this couple, has anyone ever at all considered it is a measured response against the overt, intensely vicious and irrational vilification of the couple?
Sal
Absolutely stunned reading your post…,.identical medical problem myself, identical terrified deferring of essential surgery. Well done you! I hope you feel likr a new person now. 🙂
Thanks Chris2, wow, that is amazing! Yep, I do feel a lot better now, definitely a new person. I hope you do too. 🙂
Hi Sal,
Sad to hear about your episodes with gallstones, they can be horrific and make everybody involved (patient, partner, carers) feel absolutely helpless. My partner has had to have his gallbladder removed, and the pain I witnessed with each episode made me want to cry. Eventually, when the correct diagnosis was made after 4 or 5 years of this, it became clear that surgery was the only way to stop this and fortunately he recovered well within 2 weeks of his laparoscopic procedure. In fact, 1 week later I was immensely proud he beat me to the top of Ben Nevis!
I would, however, disagree in that surgery in this case was not merely preventative, it was necessary as the only way to stop the confirmed diagnosis from ruining your life. Perhaps this is semantics, but it is not quite the same as the medical procedure that Angelina chose to take, which in itself was preventative, or perhaps this is how I see it.
I would also like to reiterate that in no way do I disagree with or criticise Angelina’s option. It is her body and life, and she will presumably have made a very well informed decision, with access to the best healthcare practitioners no doubt. She is in charge of her own body, as should each individual. But I still think that people may feel differrently about options that have been made public, and whilst I don’t really know that much about ME, that quote I read made sense to me regardless. I elected to not read the criticism in it, I merely focussed on trying to understand why she was saying it. For me, it is nothing but her opinion, and I don’t get up in arms about it, but would probably defend anyone’s right to say it. That is all it is.
Perhaps I am too new to this, but I haven’t really noticed that much villification of Brad and Angelina – at the end of the day, they are a high profile couple, and their lives in no way affect mine other than the “gossip” entertainment side of things. I really have no sides to take. I believe teehee did say the issue is with the “hype” rather than the people.
So if Melissa had known there was a huge chance that she would get breast cancer, and even after having had breast cancer, she would not have had the mastectemies to prevent cancer? I don’t understand that at all. Especially, if you are a wealthy person, who can afford the operation, and the reconstruction, no problem. Angelina has six children whom, I am sure she loves more than her breasts…I don’t know if I would call what Angelina did “brave” either….I would call it smart!!!!!!
Yeah, I don’t get Melissa’s logic.
Angelina, seeing what her mother went through I completely understand that as a mother of six she choose the steps that would give her the best chances for sticking around!
Personally, if it’s between my breasts or my life, I don’t see my breasts as more important to keep.
Melissa believes that stress gives you cancer. So she can “prevent” her cancer by controlling her mind. Because she’s such a peaceful creature, what with going around spewing venom in everyone else’s direction, I guess.
So, in ME’s mind, she has a better chance of controlling the BRAC gene, by trying not to get stressed out in this Ebola, ISIS, etc. world, than by having the operation and definetely removing the problem….uh, sure….Good thing ME isn’t like me, I stress out if I spill my coffee! (Yeah, I’m high strung, lol)!
So I suppose that’s her excuse for trying to get rid of her ‘stresses’ i.e. her wife and kids (alimoney and child support)……
ME has never fixed a car wash in her life, crawled through a mold and rat infested attic, cleaned after a fire or flood, with her ‘music’ not likely ME has ever been exposed to any chemicals on her job – how nice that she can spew her views – which is worse than her nails on a chalkboard voice – to the public. So many people getting exposed to so many chemicals in so many places – chemicals in perfume, shampoo, deodorant, laundry, febreeze in the air, chemicals in the carwashes to create colour and foam so the rich can have their shiny cars, no ‘fresh’ air anymore – we are not ‘allowed’ to have ‘fresh’ air – only stinky solvent laden chemically perfumed air! ‘fragrance’ is another word for Chemicals (FDA laws make it so you can’t even read the ingredients in your favorite chemical fragrance) – this part of the cancer epidemic that seems to be deliberately overlooked.
Sorry, posted in wrong place – post deleted.
To be honest, the medical community still doesn’t endorse the idea of preventative mastectomies. There is a lot of debate about this in the BC community, but I know that a lot of women’s cancer centers they are still recommending less invasive treatment.
She seems to be basing this premise of whether it is brave or not on breast cancer only starting if you have stresses and therefor being somehow preventable. What a fool. So help me, I’m going to find it very difficult to find sympathy for this woman if breast cancer becomes a reality for her.
She was diagnosed with it 10 years ago.
Agreed. If she gets it again, what will her reasoning for it be?
Hmm… is it actually “brave” to have elective surgery to prevent future health problems when you have a greatly increased risk of a disease, like having your inflamed appendix out before you develop full-blown peritonitis, or is it just sensible forward planning?
My mum had breast cancer and went through two surgeries and radiotherapy – she did it because she HAD to to stay alive, and woe betide anyone who tried to patronise her with any “bravery” talk! She believes the word should be reserved for those who make sacrifices to the benefit of OTHERS.
Tapioca, I like your mom. She sounds exactly like my late mom.
Melissa needs a basic education on what the word “brave” actually means. It doesn’t mean the absence of fear, it means doing something despite the presence of it.
Then again, she has never struck me as particularly bright.
^^ Yup!
I always remember that line from the movie “The princess diaries” where the late Prince wrote to his daughter:
Courage is not the absence fear; it’s the decision that something else is more important.
And that describes to a tee what Angelina’s choice was.
Nice comment.
Thirded.
I understand where she’s coming from. Taking such drastic steps because you might get something seems a bit extreme to me. Just having the gene doesn’t mean one will automatically get it. It seems like it should be a last resort, instead of the first.
True, but when your specialists assess you according to gene, family history etc and ascertain you have an 87%, that is 87 percent chance you will get cancer, and only 13% chance you won’t, as Angelina was told, would you gamble with that 13% chance of being cancer free just to keep something that is not vital and really has no function anyway unless you intend to breastfeed any time soon? Would you take the 87% chance of having cancer? Would you really?
She has a long family history of cancer.. her mother, aunt, grandmother, uncle..
Just as people have history of heart disease or high blood pressure or Diabetes, your family history is important. Which is why doctors ask you about it.
Angie’s mother had Breast and Ovarian Cancer. So did her aunt and grandmother. Why is it better to wait for the cancer to hit you if you know it is coming. Why not move out of the way. Too many woman have died waiting and hoping for the best.
Calling her brave for coming to her hard decision seems to imply to others that they would be brave too, if they did the same. Meanwhile, she actually talked to doctors, looked at her history and her percentages, THEN made her decision. Why not include that in the ‘brave’ talk?
Even as a fan of Angie I will say ME has the right to feel however she wants.. She has already made her feeling known..what 2 years ago pretty much. So why is this her narrative when she has something to promote. She should be talking about her music.
I saw a comment on another site and it was perfect. I remember when Melissa did that performance after her cancer reveal and she had the shaved head. I recall people calling her brave for performing with her shaved head.. did she have a problem with that description of herself at that time. I think not.
Maybe brave is leaving the mother of your children and not wanting to pay child support.. see Melissa people can make assertions about you too.
just move on. Brad called Angie Brave. He has the right as her partner now husband to feel that way about the woman he loves. Why should it affect her in anyway. Angelina choose a preventive treatment. She didn’t want to do a wait and see. Sad to say that many women that have waited to see have died.. so every woman gets to decide what SHE wants.. Melissa sounds so pissed. Maybe she still wants the attention for her cancer story.
I would have to agree with her about it being brave or not, although not for the same reasons. If Jolie’s chances of getting breast cancer was 80 something percent, it was a practical no-brainer, however difficult the choice might have been.
Realistically, weighing an 80-85% chance of getting it, needing a mastecomy (far more urgently), the risk of it spreading and chemotherapy against getting a mastecomy with far more options on how to go about it and no chemo… I would classify that as a cool logical decision rather than bravery.
Difficult decision, but emminently practical when you weigh one side against the other.
She’s not brave for calling Angie ‘not brave’. Why is she bothering to make this a platform? She can’t find anything else more worthy as a cause? I guess any other cause wouldn’t have her propelled into the spotlight like hitching her ride to a famous woman’s travails would. Aside from this, her actions and statements in the last several years have made her utterly unlikeable. Too bad, some of her music was good.
I think some people who have to make decisions about cancer treatment become so fearful about their own choices that they actually become angry when someone makes a different decision. Their way is the RIGHT way, dammit, and everyone else is wrong. And a coward. And stupid. I think it ticks her off that Angelina not only went a different route than she did, but people are praising her for it.
That sounds like jealous bitterness. You can share your own decisions without condemning what someone else did. That likely wouldn’t get you as much press though, right?
Right. Or a platform for her “stress causes cancer” theory. I guess dumping your ex and your children is stress free for her.
I think you are spot on.
Also just to add apparently since ME doesnt believe in vaccinations for her own kids who are currently attending public school tammy has had to go to court to ask them to let ME give permission to get the necessary vaccinations. I know it is a side note but to allow one’s kids not to get vaccinated doesnt show ME in a good light at all.and she said it at the wwz and brad was asked about her comments etc – and he said that he had not spoken to her for some time. Now if my family had a strong family history of cancer – mother aunt uncle etc who all died and my doctors told me that I would most likely get it – there wd be no choice imo – i wd have the preventative surgery – for her to talk about any woman let alone someone ME has never met reflects very badly on ME – publicity seeking ME – frankly I would just ask ME what the heck is your problem with aj – it is aj’s body and her decision why get involved especially when you are not even a friend anymore
I can’t stand Melissa. She needs to shut her stupid mouth. Angie made a very difficult decision that I personally find incredibly brave. When a woman esteemed for her beauty lops off her breasts so she can raise her 6 kids with more peace of mind, I’m sure that was a decision most of us would not want to face.
Melissa keeps walking out on partners and kids and SHE is the coward who needs to take a good look in the mirror. Personally, I think she’s just envious of Angie and all the att4she receives for her multiple talents and efforts.
I have a friend who is youngish, who has never married, who is a professional, and who was diagnosed with BRAC1. After the biopsy she decided to have a double mastectomy because the biopsy was so very painful that she did not want to endure that year after year after year. But because of her decision she is now having to get used to a whole new body. She had the same body for nearly 50 years and now it seems very different and foreign to her. Still she has peace of mind knowing she will likely live a long, healthy life without the pain of the biopsy. Melissa’s comments make it seem as though it is a black and white decision but it certainly isn’t and sometimes it has nothing to do with wanting to be brave or because one lives in fear. In some cases, it just seems to be the better alternative.
Ugh. I watched that the other night and just… She’s so awful. #1 – I find it quite rich that she is seemingly shading Brange, given her own fabled relationship history, and, #2 – Stop talking about other people’s healthcare decisions. Everyone must find their own path, so inserting herself in this over and over is just so attention – seeking, IMO.
Looks like ME has caught a touch of the “woo.” Her personal belief EATS SCIENCE FOR BREAKFAST. Why must so many coping mechanisms be so… so…
Cannot even.
that was what stood out to me too. not only is it unhelpful nonsense, totally not based in any evidence, it also constitutes “victim blaming.” like cancer is a person’s “fault” because they were stressed, lived the “wrong” way, or whatever. unreal.
And as a breast cancer survivor I think she is in a much better position of authority to make this observation than many many other people who have castigated her for it.
Who the hell is anyone to attack a breast cancer survivor for feeling like this? What’s more its valid – chopping bits of you’re body out just in case you get cancer is one of the ‘choices’ someone can make that doesn’t make it brave or right, its just a choice. And one I and many people disagree with.myself.
And I say allthis as someone who think this woman is a real piece of work regarding her partners and kids.
I had breast cancer, and I think Melissa is entitled to her own opinion privately. But each woman has her own journey and has to face many different decisions. Just because you wouldn’t choose to do what Angelina did doesn’t make it the wrong decision for her. I’m not sure what I would have done. But it’s not my body, or my life, nor is it yours or Melissa’s. To publicly imply that Angelina made the wrong choice and to say it was a fearful, not brave, choice, is completely out of line. People aren’t judging her for having an opinion, but for publicly belittling a choice that is absolutely none of her business.
+1
+ eleventy billion.
Beautifully worded, GoodNamesAllTaken!
This.
So glad you’re OK, GNAT.
Exactly – if she wants to discuss her own health and her decisions, that’s great, but I don’t think anyone else’s choices are her business. If she wants to whine about it to wife #whatever, fine, but she shouldn’t be making public statements about anyone else like that.
Agreed, the cancer survivor angle seems to have gone past most people commenting on this story.
The fact that she survived her own breast cancer doesn’t give her the right to judge my decisions about mine. At all.
To me it’s not so much the cancer angle but more so a women’s body is hers and she can do what she wants with it. I kind of saw it as shading another women. They are both breast cancer survivors & how they dealt with it within there bodies is a personally choice. No one should comment about how another women dealt with that & what they should be or not be feeling. To me it’s about ME shading another women about what she chose to do with her body.
@GNAT this wasn’t in response to your comment. You are a much faster typer than me. And I think your amazing 🙂
@Aussie girl: you can’t really say that Angelina is. “Cancer survivor”. She carries the gene that makes it a strong possibility that she would eventually have cancer, but that day hasn’t happened yet.
Aussie girl, you’re amazing, too!
Alice, I get what you’re saying, but Angelina’s life was certainly affected by breast cancer in several ways – she lost her mother, she has over an 80% chance of getting it. I personally don’t get people who identify themselves as “survivors.” I had breast cancer. I don’t let that define me. But to each their own.
@AllGoodNamesTaken: agreed. My MIL has had breast cancer twice. After the first time, she completely changed her way of eating and living her life, mostly out of fear of getting it again. 15 years later, she had it on the other side. She might not identify as a “breast cancer survivor”, but her entire way of being revolves around the fear of dying and has for the past 25 years. I don’t quite get that either as we’ll all die someday, it’s inevitable. In a lot of ways, her efforts reflected the same philosophy as ME concerning stress, diet, immune system response etc. And there is in fact, some science to back that up, so I kind of get where ME is coming from on that point.
On the other hand, I have several friends who have had mastecomies an/or other forms of cancer. While each and every one of them has changed their lifestyles to some degree, they haven’t let it “define” how they live their lives to the degree that my MIL has. Different basic personalities and views on life, I suppose.
But anyways, semantics…there are likely very few of us over 40 who doesn’t have a family member or a friend touched by cancer in one form or another? However, classing Angelina as a “cancer survivor” simply isn’t correct as she’s never had it. No radiotherapy, no chemo, no dealing with the knowledge that you have this “thing” inside of you that’s maybe going to kill you, if the poisons they pump into don’t do it first. Knowing that you COULD have it at some point, and knowing that you DO have it are two entirely different things.
I absolutely don’t blame her for making the choice she did. With those odds, it’s pretty obvious what the most logical decision would be and I think most of us would make the same, circumstances permitting. She’s never called herself a “cancer survivor”, but some people keep putting it out there. It’s not the case and she doesn’t claim to be one.
True, Alice.
“And as a breast cancer survivor I think she is in a much better position of authority to make this observation than many many other people who have castigated her for it.”
Surviving something doesn’t make you the moral arbiter on how everyone else should handle the situation. If you survive a bear attack, you don’t suddenly become the authority on bears, and you don’t get to judge people who take preventative measures to avoid bear attacks in the future.
In response to various comments, my point isn’t that Melissa is the arbiter of anything, nor do I believe she has the final word on any cancer-related issues just because she is a cancer survivor.
However, I can appreciate how she might feel strongly about this. I have a sad abundance of examples of breast cancer in my own family, and this is a devastating illness to live with, so whatever people’s choices or opinions, anybody should be able to express themselves.
Everybody is judgy, it’s not just Melissa.
Angelina has had many close relatives die from female cancers. She has seen first hand the horror of cancer many times, and I’m sure she was thinking she didn’t want to put herself and her loved ones through that, since she had an extremely high chance of getting breast cancer. So, I would say, who the hell is Melissa Etheridge to attack Angelina’s decision that was made after many discusssion with her doctors and family members…ME can feel however she wants about the decisions she has made about her health, but everyone has to decide for themselves what is right for them.
When angelina’s news came out about her operation – there were other celebrities like christina applegate, sheryl crow , fran drescher etc all who had cancer who said very positive things abt angelina and said how brave a decision she took. None of them made the heartless comments that ME made then and is making again now. Whatever they thought at least they gave angelina the benefit of the doubt – i find it such a pity that ME who also had cancer felt that she needed to ‘shade’ angelina in this matter. Very disappointing imo.
Um, you are missing something in your primitive little world view of NON-VITAL body parts. When your specialists assess you according to gene, family history etc and ascertain you have an 87%, that is 87 percent chance you will get cancer, and only 13% chance you won’t, as Angelina was told, would you gamble with that 13% chance of being cancer free just to keep something that is not vital and really has no function anyway unless you intend to breastfeed any time soon? Would you take the **87% chance of having cancer**? Would you really? If you are told that if you keep your pointless breasts, that do absolutely nothing F all but sit on your chest that there is an EIGHTY-SEVEN PERCENT chance that you will get cancer, its a no brainer. I can ASSURE you, that if you are told THAT percentage, you WILL agree with it. If you choose to keep those useless tits, then you are an idiot. Plain and simple.
Misstee, you are forgetting that AJ, while not being a cancer survivor herself, she has lived through the hell of cancer through her mother. She is not just someone out on the statistics who might get it or not. She lived the hell of cancer as a daughter.
I a sure that just thinking about it (will I get it?This year or the next?) and having to endure mastographies and biopsies while watching your children grow is stressful enough.
Maybe AJ needed to ditch her children and her relationship with Brad and go and live stress free…
She most probably wants not only to be able to live to raise their children, but also to spare those kids the hell she lived through. That is brave to me.
ME can take her own decisions, it has nothing to do with this other situation. She is not perfect either.
No fan of ME either, but I always thought that the whole “Angie did a brave thing” would’ve won me over had she removed her ovaries and uterus along with her breasts as well. JMHO.
she is going to do it, but it seems it is not the right time yet for that surgery.
Due to her medical history the doctor probably decided they could start with the breasts.
Who knows, she probably had something in them or felt something that could tun up dangerous. My family suffer from lung cancer… I have never smoked, but sometimes a respiratory infection or illness could leave a scar or irritation that can develop into something later. gotta be careful.
I sincerely hope this isn’t the beginning of “The Cancer Survivor Wars”, much along the same lines of the Mommy Wars. I.E. I can throw shade on your personal medical decisions because I’m a cancer survivor and my experience is the only valid one.
If so, count me out of this particular meme. That sh$$ needs to stop and right now.
+1 so not helpful
And the church says ‘Amen.’
If Brad wants to call his wife brave, he can. I doubt that Brad has given her much thought. I didn’t know that being an advocate for breast cancer treatments came with it’s own tasteless smirk kit? Or, is this is a competition for who is bravest? Ugh.
This is so gross. Who does she think she is to judge another woman’s decisions about her body and her health?
Ugh I think that woman is such a creep. Look at the way she treated her own wife who stood by her during cancer treatment. Not only did she cheat but she took advantage of bigotry to try to get out of supporting her stating it wasn’t a real marraige.
Of course she wouldn’t get Angelina’s choice or why so many are inspired and see her as brave. It was clearly a decision Angelina made for her children and family whereas Melissa lives soley for herself, and her ego.
ITA! Selfish self-serving people like Melissa don’t understand what it is to put others first so she doesn’t ‘understand’ a normal selfless decision. She can’t even put her own children first.
I am one of those fearful ones who has the gene and got a mastectomy. Melissa can kiss my a$$. Yes, I was afraid. Still am even with my breast gone because my ovaries are still there. Who knows what will happen while we wait for menopause. Because that’s when they’ve advised me it’ll be safer to remove them. So I’ve got another 10-15 years of a ticking time bomb in my abdomen but at least, I know I won’t be dealing with Breast cancer for which I had a 88% chance of having. I despise this woman so damn much.
Sorry to hear that and I wish you good luck.
Wishing you luck. I got assessed and though my mother passed away from it she apparently is an anomaly since no one else in her family on either side had breast or ovarian cancer.
My sensei once said something really, really profound to me that stuck with me for a long time. He was talking about being afraid and said, “Fear is good – fear means you value things that you do not want to lose. That is why people fear. If I met a person wholly without fear, I would pity him or her because it is clear that they do not have anything in their life that they truly love, because if they did, they would fear its loss.”
I have no doubt that Angelina had fear inside of her – fear of dying young, fear of leaving a partner and six children without her, etc. That fear isn’t wrong – it’s healthy. Part of me thinks ME can say this stuff precisely because she’s such a personal screwup who burns so many bridges.
The Original Mia
I’m so sorry for all you have been through and for the worry you live with. I think you are very brave, and ME can kiss my a$$ as well. Sending positive, loving thoughts your way.
I so understand your feeling of having a ticking time bomb. Twenty years ago my sister was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma at the age of 26. One of the so called “good cancers” because it is very receptive to treatment. They did get rid of it but the chemo caused ovarian failure, so no kids. Not to mention the hair loss, blimping up from the steroids, vomiting and generally feeling like death. And the radiation to her chest and neck caused raw open sores in her mouth and throat and lung cancer 15 years later. She was aware of the high risk of LC due to the radiation and it sucked so bad to live in the the shadow of that fear. If there was anything available to prevent LC she would have done it. She battled so hard against it and I was honored to fight right next to her. In the end LC took her body but never her bad ass spirit. Anyone who has cancer of any kind, or has a high risk of getting it and those that love them are BRAVE. We should stop judging and start supporting. Much love and prayers to you and your damn tick-tocking ovaries. YOU ARE BRAVE AND TOTALLY AWESOME!
“brave” or not, this was angelina’s choice regarding her own life and healthcare, based on the best medical information available to her, impacting only her and her family. so, melissa should really STFU. is she really getting into the territory of telling other women what to do with their bodies?
What an a-hole. Regardless of what you think of AJ’s decision, it was a decision she made and not lightly, involving major surgery. There’s no need to go around slamming someone for it. Even if she doesn’t consqider it brave, it’s hardly cowardly.
When Melissa got breast cancer the testing of the BRCA genes was in its infancy and widely unavailable. Shows you how far we’ve come in a decade. I’m by no means a Melissa Ethridge fan but I think that Melissa – like many others (not me)- feels that Angelina took away from those who have cancer and go through the grueling task of chemo and radiation. I think there’s been some fear that women in our culture who get cancer will be less validated if they did not get their genes tested (even though BRCA only accounts for a little more than half of breast cancer cases as it stands). So I understand Melissa’s sentiments and can empathize in a sense but I don’t agree at all with her view.
Angelina is a smart women who took preventative action to make sure the pain she felt at losing her mother will not be felt by her children and husband. I see the decision as less brave and more intelligent. If I were in her position being told I have this my first instinct would be “how do I not get cancer?” as well. I can’t say it’s brave but that isn’t to say it wasn’t. Angie helped a lot of women by sharing her decision with the rest of the world and we should be grateful.
I can understand and see what your saying.
UGH. This stupid talk smacks of those women who deride other women over things like birth choice regular v cs or breastfeeding or not. It’s just not on. It’s a personal healthcare choice but by going public with it, Ms Jolie has helped so many women. Not all of them will follow her decision but it’s easier to have the conversation, to contemplate all the options. No, it’s not Angelina Jolie who is fearful, it’s Melissa Etheridge. Let’s face it, the thought of losing your breasts is far more terrifying than your hair (that will grow back) – well at least to me.
I don’t know if she’s always been this sort of woman (Judgemental, nasty and medically qualified apparently) though as more stories of her personal have become known there would be some that would say yes or if this is a case of someone getting older and less flexible and accommodating in their middle age years as some people do (funnily enough this is usually driven by a fear of change)… anyhoo, I have a couple of favorite ME songs that I have trouble even listening to now. I guess that’s me changing in my old age.
Not only did Angelina’s mom die young, her aunt, uncle, grandparents, and great grandparents all died young, of cancer, in their 40s & 50s. Maybe her wanting to be a funeral director at young age is not as weird as everyone tries to make it. Not that she’d care what “everyone” thinks, which makes her very admirable and brave and, sadly, rare. Melissa whined four or five years before Angelina that she hadn’t seen Brad in years, so her now attachment to the fake triangle just shows how truly desperate she is.
I went to a M.E. concert (free tickets) where she played her song about breast cancer. I don’t remember the name. She introduced it saying something about how she lived because she had so much more living to do and that’s why she overcame cancer. Well, my mother died from breast cancer and I don’t think it was because she didn’t have any more living to do. Although I wasn’t a fan then, I’m certainly not one after.
I’m so sorry about your mother, and I’m sorry you had to hear that. Melissa is a judgmental, insensitive jerk.
I blame stuff like this on new-agey crap like the Secret, which basically puts forth the argument that anything bad that happens to you is a result of negative energy you’ve put out throughout your life. So those poor cancer victims (among a lot of other people) are just really reaping what they’ve sewn. It’s a terribly insidious, vile worldview that should have no place among civilized people.
The secret sounds like the notion of karma.
Uh, no, wolfpup. It sounds like the ignorant Westernized version of “karma” that people like to throw out there. Karma is a far, far more complex idea that reaches across multiple Eastern religions. I’d explain it more, but frankly your fingers can do the googling for you. The Secret was based off the law of energy vibrations, which is a totally different idea.
Honestly, i feel like AJ’s decision is not brave, but its also not etheridge’s place to judge her. AJ can do what she wants with her body, if she thinks she has a high chance of going bald and decides to shave her head and wear a wig full time, thats her choice. No one can judge her.
Perhaps she should consider that people think she is not brave for refusing to vaccinate her children who attend public school.
Maybe someone who has a film or an album to promote and sell should be on the talk show circuit calling her out for putting not only her children but other children in a difficult situation because she is not taking care of her children’s health – she is too busy pontificating about other people’s health decisions.
There’s a song for you ME ME ME – all about irony.
Which only goes to show just because someone is a survivor doesn’t mean they are not an absolute ass.
I’d forgotten that Melissa was friends with Brad once upon a time. Was always surprised by it. Don’t really know why it always surprised me.
Every time someone lashes out at Angelina Jolie… I swear, it just makes them look angry and foolish by comparison.
Why does it seem like so many women in Hollywood are so eager to take her down?
And… Melissa is entitled to her opinion… but how other women choose to deal with their own health issues is THEIR choice.
always about the triangle. Doesnt make JA a bad person that people defend her, AJ is not a bad person because she chose surgery. Funny how the comments became how bad JA is and the people around her. Cheese and rice. While I agree with AJ’s decision. Its also easier to make that sort of decision knowing that you have all the money in the world to fix the damage a double masectomy (sp) does. Whatever- not sure I would call it brave either, but I do agree it will help the average woman get tested. WHich is what I care about. And is a good thing so kudos for that! Worship the saint and dog the cheated on wife! I will never ever get that. just say I love The sainted Jolie no matter, is more likable than say how bad JA is for being treated badly. And sorry Brads hot, but so is freakin Justin and doesnt seem to have a stick up his ass…….
So you say, then YOUR YOURSELF bring up all the bs LIES that prove our point about the type of people Aniston attracts.
1. it was proven long ago Brad didn’t cheat on his wife. Do catch up. Even Aniston and her friends such as Courteney said NO CHEATING HAPPENED. Are you calling Jennifer Aniston a liar? It was Brad who was treated badly by Aniston who lied to her husband and deceived him into marriage.
2. Aniston is a three times homewrecker, and this Justin is a cheater who destroyed his 14 year relationship with Heidi Bivens when he got together with Aniston and he treated Heidi Bivens, his life partner of 14 years, that is FOURTEEN YEARS, not some meagre 4 year merger, er, ‘marriage’, badly. But that’s ok to you? Such hypocrisy and double standards. So you can go on and lie and smear Brad and act as if town pump homewrecker Aniston is a saint and call that greasy dog Justin hot, but ignore how badly Aniston treated Angelina and her children as well as Brad, AND Heidi Bivens. As for Justin not having a stick up his arse? Wtf? Justin waxes lyrical about how thongs (flip flops for Americans) are bad, and dissed actors before he cheated with Aniston. He seems to be an uptight drama queen who can be bought for a price. Brad is so laid back. Theroux is an overdone makeup wearing boot polish in his hair wearing hipster douche with massive hangups and several sticks up his greasy cheating douche arse 500 feet long.
I’m sorry, but how was it “proven” that they didn’t cheat? Aniston has said she chose to believe her husband about the cheating rumors. Choosing to believe something doesn’t make it true. I don’t doubt that Aniston and her guy cheated, but you nor anyone else know whether or not Brad and Angie cheated, only they themselves know.
Also, how was Brad treated badly by Aniston and deceived into marriage? Do you really buy that narrative? Could it be possible that, I don’t know, he asked her to marry him because he really loved her?
Aniston said point blank that no cheating was involved. She said this in the separation announcement. She said it in Vanity Fair interview. She (or Courteney) said Brad was *upfront* with her about his feelings. Aniston wanted him to have an affair, get it out of his system, and come back to her. He was too honourable to do that. EVERY source close to that couple have all said the same thing including industry peers. Brad is a straight up reliable guy and no cheating was involved. Besides, if Aniston was cheated on and it was that painful, why would she turn around and inflict that on another woman (Heidi Bivens?) Proof enough she wasn’t cheated on, for her to do that to another woman.
Also, its pretty clear she never wanted children and Brad wanted them all along. She had him put his hopes and dreams on hold for years. She promised him when Friends finished, she would concentrate on having a family and nothing else. Until she signed up for 6 movies back to back, 2 Brad had to find out from Hollywood insider magazine Variety. Maybe that was the straw that broke the camel’s (his) back? She mocked him wanting children, she mocked the attention, tells him in an interview (Barbara Walters I think it was, or Diane Sawyer) that he’d be lucky to get one. When he was practically crying about it. I don’t doubt he loved her. What I am doubting is that she loved him. At the very least she lied to him about wanting a family. I feel she used him to get a leg into Hollywood and lied to him, messed with his emotions and treated him badly. Then to top it all off she threw him under the bus and mocks his wife and mother to his children, either alone or with help via attack dogs like Handler.
I’m glad you are using the words ” maybe” and “I feel” in your reply; nevertheless, how does Aniston KNOW that Brad never cheated? Yes, I agree that she said he was upfront and she chose to believe him, but once again, choosing to believe something does not equate truth. No one knows for sure whether they cheated or not, except the Brange. I have no doubt Aniston cheated; there is evidence. To say it has been “proven” that brange didn’t cheat is unfounded.
Aniston was never in a triangle with Angie & Brad, she was simply left behind-any triangle talk came from Aniston & her PR to make it seem like Brad might come back-ugh-as if. Aniston was in a triangle with Heidi Bivens and Justin- like with Vince Vaughn and the Coed-there is PROVEN cheating/overlap.
+1 Funny how people will swallow outright lies yet deify Aniston as the Patron Saint of victimhood and give her destructive, selfish cheating skanky arse free passes left right and centre to steal men and break up relationships. Their subjective morals and rules don’t apply to Thou Great Aniston. I swear, Aniston could roast a baby in broad daylight in a crowd, yet people will still excuse her actions and get upset at those who deign to call Aniston out for who and what she truly is and how badly she and her actions hurt people.
Y
I find it interesting that she doesn’t criticize other celebs who had preventative mastectomies like Sharon Osborne,Christina Applegate,Amy from GMA,Rene Syler from CBS Early Show,etc.
Also ME is anti vacination according to her ex Tammy.I just read some childhood illnesses are on the rise at private schools in LA because of the anti vaccination crowd.ME probably thinks stress and diet leads to chicken pox.
BTW she also talked about AJ on Howard Stern,I hear.I wonder if she discussed Tammy on Stern Show.Well she got more web mentions by discussing AJ.
As AJ said ” My Medical Choice”
M.E. thinks that her choice is only the brave, best choice & should be applied by everyone…other than that, is not.
Thus in her opinion, AJ’s medical choice is a bad one.
I think there are no other plausible reasons why M.E. continuously criticizing AJ’s medical choice despite that it was done several months ago….that it was AJ’s PERSONAL choice because it concerns her body & health…. that it was a choice that AJ preferred after certainly CAREFULLY weighing the options available considering her family history, circumstances & situation… that she listened to her doctors who are in AUTHORITY to give pieces of advice to her…. Bear in mind that this major decision was not made impulsively BUT after a series of consultations & visitations with her doctors.
M.E. really wants to have some connection with Brad in order to use his clout, his influence, his power, his fame.
She wants to sell records, to be popular again. Have we not noticed that every time she is selling something, she mentions AJ again because she knows she will get people’s attention just like how she got ours.
However, she miscalculated. Because of what she is doing, many people are turned off, questioning her motive and even her credibility & personal life.
Probably M.E. is hurt because BP is ignoring her…. not talking to her….. not calling her…..
And that hurts her and she is using AJ to call BP’s attention but BP knows better.
I am glad that ME has her own opinions but I wish she would focus on her own life and her own career instead of bringing angelina into the conversaton. She was with 2 other women before her 3rd wife and the way she dumped tammy doesnt help my opinion of her at all, May have liked her music before but she seems to be wanting always to be the centre of attention
Brad said Angie is brave. This made Melissa mad. Two years ago. And now Melissa is still mad because Brad didn’t retract his statement…or maybe it’s because she has an album coming out? Hmm. In a town where grown women proudly go on chat shows saying they cry about gray hair and wrinkles, cutting off your breasts is very brave, especially when you have made your living as an athletic, beautiful actress. Sharing her story and addressing the impact on her feminity was very important and generous. It’s also brave if you are a waitress or scientist or teacher. Angie never called herself brave, Brad did. Like Bjf stated, Melissa seems to like calling herself brave.
Yeah I think it’s because she has her $hitty album coming out. I used to be a fan of hers but between her cheating butt, trying to get out of alimony and child support I am over that woman.
Sure Melissa. Well “not brave” is leaving your partner and kids for someone you were sneaking around with behind their backs. “Not brave” is slagging someone who proactively went through a devastating surgery to prevent what she went through watching her mother die. “Not brave” is putting your ex-partner through a vicious fight over support even though you have bags of money out of cheapness. STFU.
+1
Melissa is certainly entitled to her her opinion. I think I get what she’s saying ,but I don’t agree nor do I disagree with her. Angelina’s decision was both brave and fearful. Angelina is fearful of a disease that keeps killing the women in her family and brave because she took preventative measures.
What I really think AJ’s piece on New York Times last year, “My Medical Choice” taught us?
It gave us important information about women’s health issue & give us the inspiration to know our FAMILY HISTORY. And that by gathering enough knowledge & tests and consulting proper medical experts & opinions, we have medical OPTIONS how to deal with it. AJ didn’t ask the public to do the same course of action she took. She is just sharing her experience to show that there are choices one can make. She is sharing that her choice is what she thought is best for her sake & for her family given the circumstances. She is encouraging us that if faced the same fate we can do something about it depending on one’s situation. She is telling us to be strong & learn to face it. She is telling us that SUPPORT SYSTEM such as family can help ease what one is going through. She is telling us that there are medical professionals who will guide us & give us the possibilities & the reality. In other words, she wants to inspire us through bravery, honesty & power somehow.
To be honest, I for one didn’t know about BRCA, or have very little knowledge about preventive mastectomy & the like. Many people have little or no knowledge about gene-testing at all until AJ’s op-ed came out. Undoubtedly, it really created discussions among families, friends, professionals, media, all people from all walks of life around the world. Through her experience, it gives the public the REALITY. The reality about women’s health issue.
And for AJ to share her choice to the public is a brave one.
Family history is what I’m putting together for my daughters. It took me years to figure out that the benign form of epilepsy my eldest has is the result of a perfect storm of genetics, not anything *I* did.
I don’t know Angelina (obviously) but I am choosing to believe she did this for her children. All signs point towards her devotion to them. If she thought there was a chance she could ever have breast cancer, she eliminated that so they would not have to go through watching her fight it.
Even with the job she does (looks being important and all) she chose this.
I respect that, I applaud that choice.
I find turning around and confronting something brave, in any walk of life. It is very brave to deal with, in a constructive manner, the thing we fear. She feared this, she fought back and that is brave, IMO.
And Melissa looks like a coward for even voicing an opinion like this.
I know this isn’t quite the same thing, but here goes anyway. I used to smoke, and even though I’d heard for years all the rhetoric about how bad it was, it didn’t really change things – I continued to smoke. Then one day, my beloved Uncle (who smoked a LOT) went into the hospital because he got so sick at work he couldn’t even stand up. They diagnosed him with lung cancer, but it was so far along and metasticized into basically every organ, that within the week he was gone. I saw his suffering and rapid deterioration, and my cousins having to witness this, that I realized then and there that choosing between my children and possibly getting cancer and dying was a no brainer. My children were FAR more important to me than a cigarette so I made the choice to quit. It wasn’t easy, and the first year required a lot of willpower. But I would do anything to be here as long as possible for my children (and now grandchildren) if I had the ability to do so. Since Melissa apparently doesn’t value her children in her life as much as Angelina obviously does, then it’s easy to not appreciate the reasons for doing something before it happens, to make sure that you are around for your children for a long, happy life.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer this past July. I had a routine mammo and DCIS came up in my left breast, and only after an MRI did it show up in my right breast. Nothing showed up on my mammo and ultrasound! I tested negative for BRCA. I needed a bilateral because my breasts were small and my cancer was large so I would have been disfigured. Only after my final pathology did I find out I had a small invasive area in my right breast. DCIS is contained within the milk ducts, and I was feeling OK with that, but when an invasive diagnosis happens, things change fast. Luckily it did not spread to my lymph nodes. I start tamoxifen this week. I did not do reconstruction. After all the painful tests I had (including one injecting nuclear medicine into my areolas – I almost fainted from the pain) I did not want to deal with the subsequent surgeries and expanders. I joked, “Well, if I had Brad Pitt at home with me and a ton of cash, perhaps I would have gotten implants.” Seriously, unless you are faced with important information it is hard to feel and people shouldn’t judge. I am pretty sure Melissa did chemo because she was bald at one point. That is some scary sh*t. Jolie lost her mother to the disease – the first surgeon I met with said if my MRI and BRCA test results were both positive she would also remove my ovaries. I can live without my breasts.
<3 best of luck to you. I can't even imagine how painful all of that must have been.
I think, ultimately, I feel like I could live without mine if I had to make the choice – but I haven't had to make that choice yet – and I honestly don't know how i'd react. I've always been somewhat indifferent to breasts (likely because I've never had to make a tough decision about them) partially because my great aunt had to have both of hers removed, so it didn't seem very odd to me for a woman to not have them. She lived next door, and it was my second home. Occasionally, when she got dressed up and went out, she'd put some fake breast pieces into her bra, and head out like that. I really don't think I'd want to go through the pain associated with getting implants after all of the pain you'd have to go through in the first place.
Hope you're doing well, and I hope you don't have to deal with all of that again.
Bless you,and good luck!
I did it – I faced 87% chance of cancer, I have small child, I don’t want to deal with MRIs & ultrasounds every 6 months. I had ovaries and Fallopian tubes taken out and bilateral masectomy. I currently have tissue expanders under my skin to stretch the area for implants. I don’t think (FOR ME) the right adjective is “brave” is better described as “pragmatic” and ‘following my doctors’ recommendations’ and ‘100% paid for by insurance’ and ‘healthier to have surgeries when relatively healthy, rather than inevitable bilateral masectomy when actually suffering with cancer’
Btw, for those who waffle with this decision? They found carcinoma cells in my Fallopian tubes. Not so “profilactic’ after all.
I get she was probably asked about Jolie, and this is her opinion. But she could have framed her point in a more thoughtful way without unfairly attacking another woman for a sensitive, personal decision.
Angelina has a history of cancer on both sides of her family’s her paternal grandmother also died of cancer at age 85 and the mother’s side the paternal and maternal grandparents, the mother, aunt uncle all died young. Each case is different, for Angelina she knows tha she will have cancer , it is not a that maybe she will not have. With this history of cancer .
Unwittingly, many people blame the patient for disease and assigns it the responsibility for healing. The problem here is that the ME it seems very radical, and she thinks the cancer happens the fault of food , stress. and I think she must have various conspiracy theories against health methods.
Tammy Lynn’s mega lawyer, Mark Gross, filed the legal docs stating That She wants to be the sole parent to make the twins Decisions on health issues because Melissa has refused to allow Them to be vaccinated.
Sources connected to the case tell us que Tammy Lynn wants the kids vaccinated because They are now enrolled in public school in the Los Angeles area. Etheridge, a breast cancer survivor, underwent chemotherapy to fight the disease, “does not believe in vaccinations, period. It’s not a fear of Autisim, she just does not think immunizations are Necessary, “the insider Revealed.
Welp, it’s awfully easy to be “brave” when one has ridiculous amounts of money. Those women who can’t afford a double mastectomy, yet know they carry the same gene as Angelina Jolie, are more deserving of the title “brave,” seeing as how they have no choice but to soldier on. People who get up every day to face the daily grind are brave. Angelina Jolie is rich. There’s a vast differential between bravery and wealth.
Um no. Others on here have stated that insurance covers it you don’t need to have ridiculous amount of money that is why people have insurance for things like this. So rich people cannot be brave? Seems like you are prejudiced against people with money and need to deify ordinary people in order to justify your attack. There is NO difference AT…..ALL between bravery and wealth because there is no qualifier for either to be based upon. You can be cowardly and wealthy or cowardly and poor; and brave and rich or brave and poor. Socioeconomic status is NOT a determining factor for bravery or cowardice. Don’t be ridiculous.
I doubt if this has anything to with Aniston. Etheridge is just a bitch, period. I hear horror stories all the time from people who have to work with/for her. I’ve heard she is nasty to her SO’s. Yes, she is very talented but she has what, two hit songs? She thinks she rules the music industry. Angelina not brave?!? Sit down and stfu Melissa!
Her first partner, Julie, was married to Lou Diamond Phillips and M.E. broke that marriage up but to be fair Julie didn’t realize she might be gay. Julie is now married to another man and many say it was because M.E. treated her so horribly. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have serious questions about your sexuality and then to have a partner with similar sexual leanings who doesn’t treat you well. I always felt bad for Julie.
If anyone knows the right to your own medical decisions, it’s Melissa herself, so she should not choose provocative words regarding another woman’s choices. I have commented before about this, and had Breast cancer last year. I do not have BRAC 1 or 2. ME must know that anxiety that comes with regular checkups and the fear of it coming back. I say this again, block out the noise, make your own choices and listen to medical experts around you. They know what they are talking about. Oh and yes, I have also radically changed my lifestyle and diet in order to do all I can to complement my meds and treatment!
Great comment! It takes a lot of fortitude to make diet and lifestyle changes, and be proactive about your health. Best wishes for a complete recovery and healthy happy life! xo
Thankyou so much Jane, very kind of you xx
Why are Andy and Melissa going on about Aniston’s marriage to Pitt. That was a plant. Everybody knows she has her attack dogs. Also known as, due to Aniston’s mommy issues she has developed a mental illness. Woman has a social disorder.
Anyway, Angelina Jolie was extremely vehement in saying that was her personal decision based on her own personal history and her goal was to encourage women to get themselves tested.
Being pro – active is not only brave, but being self -disciplined. I also respected the fact that Jolie isn’t delusional thinking that nothing could never happen to her.
She is sn a..hole and a mean hen. Since she does not know Angie she should keep her witchy mouth shut. I will never buy another of her records nor will my friends.
I had heard about being tested for the BRCA1 gene before, but it was reading about AJ that pushed me to go ahead and get tested. I have a very strong history of breast cancer in my family-a grandmother, 4 aunts and two cousins (including one who died just last month from the disease).
It was nerve wracking waiting for the results, but I wanted to have all of the information I could get so that i could take a little control and make an informed decision about what to do. Amazingly, I was negative for the gene. But if I had been positive I may well have made the same decision that AJ did. I think it ‘s not just “brave” but it’s smart and proactive. That’s not to criticize those who would choose differently, of course. It is a deeply personal decision and I would never shade anyone who chose differently than me.
I’m glad I got tested. Knowledge is power. And I don’t care what ME has to say about it; AJ was brave to get tested, have the surgery and go public about it. ME can go suck a lemon.
No matter how hard I’ve tried, Melissa Etheridge makes it impossible to like her even a little bit.
The term “brave” is almost always used in a foolish manner when it comes to illness. No one dies of illness who isn’t described as having “bravely battled” it when they die. The brave and the timid alike become ill, the brave and the timid alike use what medical interventions are available to try to cure the illness and the brave and the timid alike die of illnesses that cannot be cured. To become ill and die is not, in itself, brave nor does suffering from a lengthy illness as no person would ever do who could avoid it, make you brave. We die, period and usually under circumstances that are beyond our control and completely unrelated to whatever virtues of character we may posses.
Hmmmmm…..from what I inferred,ME never said Jolie was wrong to do a double mastectomy to prevent breast cancer. She simply said she didn’t view it as a brave act. I think Jolie weighed her options carefully and chose the mastectomy out of fear for her life. And I don’t think that’s wrong at all. Smart decision on Jolies part. I would do the same too. As for it being a brave decision well I don’t really know. One thing I know as Brave means possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance. Don’t think it applies to saving one’s life. Most people will do anything to save their lives. I look as it as choosing the lesslesser evil . A double mastectomy sucks but it sure beats the hell out of going through the gutwrenching experience of cancer which would most likely lead to a fatal end.
I had no idea that the word Brave had to be used in a certain manner and circumstance for it to count. When I was teaching I would tell my kids to be “brave speller” not fearing a word but to tackle it if you wanted to.
No one gets to tell me how I may use a word to describe a thing, person or whatever. When did we get to the point of life that people think they can do that. Bravery is not a word that is meant only for military service.
I’ll use the damn word when and how I want..
I guess she doesn’t realize that her comments only make HER look bad, not Angelina. I used to really like Melissa in the mid 1990s and bought most of her CDs and saw her in concert. I would never again.
Everyone fears death in some manner that’s part of being human. As I understand it, Angelina’s chances of getting either breast or ovarian cancer were pretty high. Breast cancer has happened in my family on my mother’s side and so I make sure I get my mammograms and routine checks, etc. I think that all of it is very practical and intelligent decision making for good health. I don’t understand Melissa’s obsession with the semantics of the description of Angelina’s decision. Does it really matter? I don’t think so. I think saying she’s brave or not is merely subjective. BUT one does have to agree that she has been inspirational. I’m sure this act has spurred more than a few women who, like myself has breast cancer in their family line to get the test. Of course Angelina’s husband is going to consider her to be brave. I think it’s just being repeated as something he has said. Melissa’s thrice repeated opinion is coming off as sour grapes at this point.
Oh God, Melissa Etheridge…your animosity for Brave Angeline is ooozing out of your pores. Perhaps you should reflect more on your own non brave ways and correct them so that you can too feel brave like Saint Ange.
Of course the choice to have that surgery is entirely up to each individual.
But as I have never had issues pertaining to cancer and have never dealt with it personally, I definitely see having such a traumatic surgery as a brave move. Having lack of fear is not bravery. Courage and bravery are forging ahead despite danger, risk or pain. If anyone thinks that having a double mastectomy is without risk or devoid of physical and/or emotional pain, they’re sadly mistaken and I don’t need to experience it for myself to know that.
Just another day, another way to shame a fellow woman.
OK – chew me up and spit me out, but I think Jolie had the surgery not only for the reason she stated, but also because of how breasts change and shrink and sag, after nursing and childbirth; that’s why I did. Melissa does have a point.
You have absolutely nothing to base that upon. Nothing. I think she had it done because it’s part of a ritual sacrifice to the ancient shape-shifting aliens who control the universe and I’m exactly as qualified to draw that conclusion as you are to draw yours.
You win the internets today.
You are missing something. People get IMPLANTS for shrinkage and sagging, they DON’T have the REMOVAL of entire breasts. She had a double MASTECTOMY. Not a mere implant. They are 2 entirely different things. Not even remotely related.
wolfpup, I agree with your opinion. I think it would be much easier to have it done prior to being diagnosed and with better physical/visual results. Google Beth Orton. It’s shocking and hers is the face of bravery imo.
Of course *you* would, maggie. Even though wolfpup made a fool of themselves mistaking a mastectomy for an implant, looking silly doesn’t bother you as long as you can vent your anger and hatred of Angelina. Btw it makes NO difference if you have them removed before or after being diagnosed to the outcome or looks of the surgery. Think. Do you really think a diagnosis makes a difference to the LOOK? The end result and look is exactly the same. Again, in your haste to shade Angelina you don’t think about what you’re actually saying and make statements as absurd wolfpup did.
Wow Sal!
Wolfpup, she could have had a boob lift years ago after the birth of her twins but she didn’t. Furthermore her boobs looked fine even after the birth of her kids. So it’s a moot point that she may have done it for vanity reasons. She had the cancer gene, she lost her mother to breast and ovarian cancer, she took precautions. Melissa Etheridge has no business comparing her “brave” to Angelina’s “brave”. It’s childish one-upmanship and serves no purpose other than showing the world she’s a mean-spirited person.
Thanks Jaded. That makes sense to me. Sometimes one has to put their ideas on the line, in order to be educated. Cancer and vanity are very different things. I do believe however, that as long as she’s sharing her cancer cure, why doesn’t she also take some of the mystery, out of the feminine mystique?
I also want to share with all of the ladies, how delighted I was (after my divorce), to have the implants removed. The thing most stressful about them, was the type of men “they” drew. I am free!!!
what an ignorant comment. Google mastectomy and implants and google boob job after sagging. AJ probably knew hers would never look the same or natural because she has very low body fat.
What she does not have now, is a high risk of cancer in her breasts.
What pleases me the most in the criticism that my comment brought, was that rather than my person being attacked; the idea was the problem. I don’t have to lick the ground!!!
If I had been given the choice, I would have GLADLY had a preventive double mastectomy BEFORE I was diagnosed with breast cancer 24 years ago, when I had a young baby girl and had to endure painful surgeries, chemo and radiation. I had to fight to even get a diagnosis because I was “too young” (in my 20’s). I am blessed to still be here 24 years later, and still fighting (I have had it again, together with more surgeries, chemo, radiation). Melissa E is a jack ass for judging and labeling anyone else’s choices. She is a hateful person.
Sorry you had to endure all that, CeltLady and so glad you are here!
Thank you, Anon! I am one of the lucky ones, and lived to see my baby grow up into a delightful woman.
m.e. just seems like a really hateful crappy person. Oh, you’ve had breast cancer? Then certainly you are the expert on how everyone should act and feel. Oh, you’ve split with your baby-mama? Then certainly that free-loader needs no support.
She is just an awful person.
Melissa seems like a truly awful person. I know I don’t know her personally, but I have never heard any good stories about her. Angelina gets called a home wrecker with no proof (actually most “proof” leads to the conclusion that she’s not) but this lady was in a relationship with Julie Cypher while Julie was still married and then cheated on Tammy Lynn Michaels. I am under the impression she is using Brad and Angelina to get press for herself. Also, Brad called Angelina brave. She is his partner (now wife) and the mother to his children who underwent a major surgery, or course he sees her as brave!!!
Why is it that feminist, “women’s right to choose for her own body” advocates are always criticizing what other women CHOOSE to do with their own bodies….if they don’t happen to make the same choice?
I don’t even know who this woman is, but she sounds like a nasty piece of work.
I take smart and fearful over brave and stupid any day of the week tbh.
I love your website and have never left a comment before. But this is one I can’t ignore. Melissa, who I admire, is totally off the mark and dangerously misinformed.
Testing positive for the BRCA gene doesn’t mean you “might” get cancer. What it means is twofold:
1) Your odds of getting cancer are much higher than the general population
2) IF you get cancer and have a positive BRCA gene, you will continue to get cancer. Even if it is cut out, it will return somewhere else in your body – stronger and more dangerous. With women that often happens in reproductive organ cancers which are the most deadly.
When I took the test, my doctor told me — it wasn’t a matter of “if”, it was of “when” and “how often.”
Which is why so many people who test positive for the BRCA-1 gene do exactly what Angelina did — they remove the organs before cancer can attack, take hold in your body and kill you in a horrid and vicious manner.
The ignorance around this issue is terrifying. If you’re a woman over 35 – get a mammogram. If you have a history of breast, uterine or cervical cancer in your family, get tested for the BRCA-1 gene.
Thank you for a wonderful, fun and intelligent site. I check it every day and love it.
It is my hope that when this topic is discussed, you’ll ignore the tabloid’s hope for a cat fight and stick to information.
Whether or not Angelina was “brave” is beyond the point. She was smart. She opened a dialogue on an issue that needed to be discussed. Because the bottom line is deaths that can be avoided.
Best to all.
Thank you SG – I lost a good friend to breast cancer who had the BRCA gene, it ran through her family. It came back after she had a double mastectomy and just kept coming back until it killed her. Melissa is completely off base with her comments and I will continue to applaud AJ for her choice to have the surgery proactively and go public with it.
My condolences on the loss of your friend.
I was lucky – I tested negative.
What really concerns me here is that sites less intelligent than this one look to pit Melissa vs. Angelina in some sort of cat fight. This isn’t a Bravo reality series.
That’s why Kardashians were created (g).
This is something else.
This is life or death.
Best to all.
great comment! tnx.
we already know that , God this Melissa chick is good at stating the obvious
Everyone knows that Melissa is positive with the same gene as Angelina right? So I think that the point of Melissa speaking is to question who is brave – the one that keeps her breasts or the one that has them surgically removed? Angelina received huge publicity with her news article detailing her surgery. And good for her. However, in my opinion the press went a little overboard with Angelina love when they called her brave. It makes those who have made the decision to keep their breasts look like they are not brave and pathetic. Is Angelina more brave then those people? Is someone who decides to keep their breasts brave as well? I would probably make the same choice as Angelina if I had the money. However, I think that at the same time Angelina was making headlines the press should have interviewed others who made a different decision and were also brave. The point is that it is good that Melissa is questioning this as it makes women feel like they have choices and whatever they decide they are all brave.
Even Melissa doctor who treat her cancer Dr. Susan Love said that in the case of Angelina for being too high the risk is unfortunately the only alternative was that which she finds absurd to have to take the breasts and the ovaries
Ms. Jolie’s decision highlights the painful dilemma facing women with BRCA mutations.
“She is a special case, and you can completely understand why she did it,” said Dr. Susan Love, the author of a best-seller, “Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book,” and a breast surgeon. “But what I hope that people realize is that we really don’t have good prevention for breast cancer. When you have to cut off normal body parts to prevent a disease, that’s really pretty barbaric when you think about it.”
Women who carry BRCA mutations have, on average, about a 65 percent risk of eventually developing breast cancer, as opposed to a risk of about 12 percent for most women. For some mutation carriers, the risk may be higher; Ms. Jolie wrote that the estimate for her was 87 percent.
“I think there is an important upside to the story, and that is that women will hopefully be more curious about their family history,” Dr. Bedrosian said. “We need to be careful that one message does not apply to all. Angelina’s situation is very unique. People should not be quick to say ‘I should do like she did,’ because you may not be like her
So Melissa should not have said what is good for other woman health
Do not know of a family history of cancer or what risk Melissa was diagnosed with BRCA. But in 2011 her mother was with her, she has her mother an old woman.
From Angelina maternal family her oldest living relative is her brother and she has 3 more younger cousins.
grandparents, aunts and uncles were all still young killed by cancer
She is a special case and thank God not all womenwill had to pass what he went through or have the same decision. It’s the importance of listening to doctors, knowing your family history, and it’s sad but at least she can prevent the breast and ovarian cancers. Maybe she gained a few more years of life with health, maybe she will have cancer in other body parts, but she is trying to live longer than her relatives.
whereas not paying child support is very, very brave per her logic i suppose
We all have the BRCA1 gene. Angelina Jolie is actually a carrier of a MUTATION in her BRCA1 gene. BRCA1 is a tumor suppressing gene (i.e. an important gene)… and men & women carrying a MUTATION in the gene are at an increased risk of developing certain kinds of cancers. And with breast cancer detection not being anywhere near 100%, Melissa Etheridge has no idea whether Angelina Jolie had “healthy” tissue removed or not.
People care waaay too much about celebrities they will never meet or know. However if I were to be diagnosed with the same gene as Angie I would get my breast tissue removed too! Perhaps Melissa is jealous of the attention Angie received not having cancer when Melissa had to go through the hell that comes with an actual diagnosis.
There is the hell of watching the people you love go through it and the hell of knowing that your children may have to do that with you.
thankfully Melissa didn’t have that on her either. I you have never seen someone you love got through that .. well that is a different hell too. Angie has never claimed to have cancer. Maybe Melissa should focus on her own life. Why does what the public thinks or feels about this ONE woman affect her in any way shape or form.
I completely get where Melissa is coming from, however, I kind of think she shouldn’t be commenting on this. What Angelina did was a personal choice for HER, one that she thought was best for HER. I don’t recall Angelina saying it was the best choice for everyone. I personally would not have made the choice Angelina did, but I also don’t have 6 children or cancer history in my family or the breast cancer gene. Who knows what I would do if I did? I don’t know. But Angelina did do a brave thing, and women that already have cancer are also brave. It’s not an either/or thing. I’m not sure why Melissa seems so offended by this.
I loathe this sociopath, and am embarrassed and angry she represents the LGBT community in any way.
People who are among the first to try new and potentially life saving measures are brave. People who face cancer or the prospect of it because they carry this gene are no less brave….regardless of their treatment choices. Melissa is a musician, not a mental giant.
Etheridge certainly has a much better and correct understanding of cancer than Jolie. Jolie’s decision isn’t just “the most fearful choice” as Etheridge put it but it is also ignorant.
The research shows prophylactic mastectomy has no benefit on breast cancer mortality. Neither do regular “prophylactic” or “preventative” mammograms (sources: Mammography Screening: Truth, Lies and Controversy by Peter Gotzsche and The Mammogram Myth by Rolf Hefti – more at TheMammogramMyth dot com) . But all of these lucrative medical interventions do a lot of harm to a lot of healthy people.
The official disinformation on mammography and breast cancer is highly persuasive to both women in general and many “celebrities.” But the reality is that the cancer business, which includes the pink ribbon organizations, have accomplished this by “educating” women with misinformation, distortions, and misleading arguments about breast cancer.
Actually, the research shows minimal increase in survival rates for those women WITHOUT the BRACA gene mutation according to the Journal of the National Cancer Institute. There is a higher projected rate of survival for those WITH the mutation.
No brainer for most really. I think if I were a gazillionaire and could afford the very best in medical care and they said you have a much greater increase of getting breast cancer and knowing your Mother died of cancer, I would do the exact same thing Angelina did. Angelina seems like a very smart woman so I am sure she researched and had the info she needed to make the correct decision for her.
as someone who watched her friends sister die from the gene mutation i say that Angelina Jolie made the ONLY choice.
My friends sister was 28 when she was tested and didn’t have surgery right away because she wanted to have another baby . Sorry i should say she had a mastectomy straight away but she didn’t have a hysterectomy so she could have another baby. At 32 she went to the Doctor for what she thought was constipation. It wasn’t and by then it was too late. she died after fighting for two years. all she wanted was to see her son grow up.
Melissa Etheridge is a fool if she thinks you should just wait for the cancer to get you