Carrie Underwood & Brad Paisley host CMAs, joke about Ebola, Renee Zellweger

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Until I started watching Nashville, I was never into country music. Then I got sucked into that soapy trashy goodness and started to really enjoy the original music they play every episode. So while I wouldn’t call myself a country music fan, I can definitely appreciate it. Last night Nashville was preempted by the Country Music Awards, hosted by Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley for the seventh year in a row. The two did a great job. They seemed very comfortable with each other, the jokes were topical and just rude enough and they sang original, funny songs. Unlike some of the artists, they seemed to be singing live. (Seriously, some of the lip syncing was obvious.)

The big news of course is that pregnant Carrie Underwood revealed the sex of her baby in a clever way. She’s having a boy! She didn’t look very bumpy at all. Most of the gowns that were chosen for her were draped well enough to draw attention away from that area, or maybe she’s not showing that much at this point. E! has the best recap of the opening monologue, so I’m quoting them here. The video is also below:

Paisley [joked] around about Underwood’s pregnancy. “And we’re pregnant!” he quipped, which caused Carrie to interject, “Brad, I don’t remember you being there.”

He responded, “Carrie, you can’t keep me out of this child’s life,” and begged to know whether she’s having a boy or a girl. After some persuading, she pulled him aside and whispered in his ear. “I know something you all don’t know. Suck it TMZ,” Paisley gloated, but it wasn’t long before everyone knew what he knew.

While talking about Garth Brooks return, Brad accidentally (maybe?) said, “We should name him Garth!” and gestured to Carrie’s baby bump. BOOM, the cat’s out of the bag.

They even took a crack at Ebola. “This song goes out to one feisty little nurse in Maine, who’s probaby riding her bike right now,” Brad said. To the tune of “Jolene,” the pair sang, “Quarantine, quarantine, quarantine. Don’t ride your bike, please don’t infect my man.”

Brad and Carrie also mourned the loss of a valuable country singer—Taylor Swift . Clearly, T. Swift is still alive, but as we all know by now, she has made the transition from country to pop with her latest album 1989, and now country music lovers are suffering from what the pair call Post-Partum Taylor Swift Disorder, or PPTSD.

Paisley exclaims his frustration with Barack Obama for not caring about the disorder, which prompted Carrie to say, “I’m pretty sure that’s why the Democrats lost the Senate.” Ooooh. It’s all good, they sang a little jingle to say goodbye and reassured everyone that they’re just going to have to “shake it off.”

The two hosts stated that they would not make fun of Renée Zellweger, though. Nope. “She could be here. How would we know? She’s a master of disguise,” Paisley said. Do you see what he did there?
He also poked fun at the scandalous celeb nude photo leak by joining Carrie for a little rendition of “Walk the Line”…with a twist. “I keep a close watch on this cloud of mine, I’ve changed my password twice, but I take naked selfies all the time, I’m scared I’ll find they leaked online.”

[From E! Online]

I was surprised at how well done the opening was. I don’t want to oversell it but I’ve seen a lot of awards shows and this one had very talented writers. It wasn’t too industry insider-y, it was clever, funny and kept me entertained. As for the awards, Miranda Lambert was the big winner last night. She won in the Album of The Year, Female Vocalist of The Year, Single of The Year and Musical Event of The Year categories. (A complete list of nominees and winners is here. Kaiser has more on Miranda here.) Also Luke Bryan won for Entertainer of The Year, which was the first time he’s won a CMA.

Here’s the opening monologue:

As for Carrie’s looks last night, I wasn’t a fan of her sparkly bronze Lorena Sarbu red carpet gown (below), it was too pageant for my tastes. I did like the white babydoll dress she wore at the start of the show, and during the ceremony she had on a whopping 10 dresses from my count. Just Jared has the best recap and I’ll attempt to do one too, but I’m going on their info.
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Carrie in a Randi Rahm white dress.



Another Randi Rahm dress. She looks much more pregnant here.



Yet another Randi Rahm.



The worst Randi Rahm yet. Much fabric. So fug.



In a white floral print and pink Theia one shoulder gown.



Another Theia gown.



In Christian Siriano. Beautiful.



This dress is Rhea Costa. Very Carrie Underwood.



In Pamela Roland. Love this red Grecian dress.



Finally here she is in Nicole Miller. You can see her bump a little bit!

Photos credit: WENN.com and Getty Images

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69 Responses to “Carrie Underwood & Brad Paisley host CMAs, joke about Ebola, Renee Zellweger”

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  1. AlmondJoy says:

    Carrie Underwood looks great!

    Am I the only person who doesn’t find jokes about ebola funny?

    • Esmom says:

      She does look great, my favorite look was the short silver dress. How many effing dresses did she wear anyway?

      Agree on the Ebola jokes, not funny.

    • Jaderu says:

      I think it depends on the context for me. And was it necessary? Does it fit the situation? I remember the jokes after 911 and some were just heartless and gross, but some seemed cathartic. Humor helps with serious issues sometimes. This particular joke about ebola though didn’t seem necessary or even remotely funny.

      • AlmondJoy says:

        Jaderu, I kind of see what you’re saying. But I’m not so sure.. I find jokes amid tragedy tasteless, all around.

      • Jaderu says:

        @AlmondJoy I think maybe because I was raised in a very jokey family that I tend to just let most tasteless jokes go without another thought. Heck I know I’m guilty of saying tasteless things as a joke.
        My family often dealt with tragedy or bad things with humor and I guess I just kept that outlook.
        But I can see your point and think you are right. A lot of the time it’s just a tasteless, unfunny, and even in this case, a racist joke.

    • feebee says:

      They weren’t just joking about Ebola, they took a specific shot at the nurse in Maine (who had a legitimate beef about her insane treatment esp given that she has doesn’t have and never has had the disease).

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I don’t know if her treatment was that insane, but it was unorganized.
        I do think that it is a unique position to be in when you have been working as a health care worker on patients with ebola, because they handle the bodily fluids that pose the most risk. I think health care workers returning from west Africa are different in significant ways from just regular people returning from that area.

    • QQ says:

      You aren’t AlmondJoy I find it completely awful actually like at the root is about “haha Africans dying on the streets a horrible dead LULZ I hope we don’t catch their unclean cooties” or The whole ” we are too clean here can’t we just seal em off over there”??

      I also just at a baseline DO NOT like Carrie Underwood… her face gives me…a LOT of Bitch… and the stories sorta corroborate it

      • MaiGirl says:

        Agree with everything you said. I also didn’t like the level of butthurt and “Well, JESUS loved my performance!” crap that came after her plank’o’wood performance in The Sound of Music. All the signs are there that she’s a sanctimonious stealth-bitch!

      • AlmondJoy says:

        QQ, exactly!!! I feel that people think ebola is funny and ok to joke about because it’s affecting Africans, who many deem unimportant. But if the outbreak happened here, there would be much more empathy shown.

    • Kiddo says:

      The joke was stupid and unfunny, based on conservative driven hysteria. If you make a joke about something serious, it should be funny, at the least.

      @QQ, Do not care for her either, even outside of the context.

      • QQ says:

        correct Kiddo, Guffaws Level funny, not “isnt it funny im being a racist a-hole?”

      • Kiddo says:

        Yeah, it wasn’t a joke but a dog whistle instead.

      • Eileen says:

        “Conservative driven hysteria” fascinating how you can insult people who believe differently politically than you as the only people in America who were afraid of Ebola

      • Kiddo says:

        Eileen, That was specific to the nurse involved. She tested negative and Christie, who is a conservative, fought her release. Hence the conservative hysteria, driven by him, which was politically motivated to show he’s a tough guy against Obama.

      • Lulu says:

        70% of Americans in all the polling believe healthcare workers coming back from helping with Ebola patients should be forced into a 21 day mandatory quarantine .

        That this nurse was too much of a precious snowflake to endure in Maine , no one was going to keep her inside the house , even though her roommate had tested positive for the Ebola virus in W . Africa

        And it’s conservative hysteria please, that’s why the national media decided once a New York case happened and the number of people under “active monitoring” for Ebola symptoms in New York increased from 117 to 357 the AP and other media outlets have made it a policy to not report any more American potential Ebola cases , unless it a confirmed case.. When did the media decide the public like a bunch of 5 years and is a need to know .

    • Avery says:

      So only Saturday Night Live or the Colbert Report or John Stewart can do Ebola jokes or any late Night talk show opening shm you guys aren’t too obvious with your political bias .

      Every variety show on tv has been doing weeks of Ebola jokes.

  2. mia girl says:

    Wow, Christian Siriano is turning out some lovely gowns. He was my favorite on Project Runway.

  3. Gina says:

    I watched a bit before the Cavs game started….shouldn’t have watched that but I digress. Carrie and Randy were very snarky, reading the zingers off the cards about Taylor, Renee and so on. I suppose Taylor is considered a traitor to them since she went pop. They should remember it’s people like her that got people watching country shows again. They’re alluding she wasn’t loyal, but I disagree. Girls just trying to make a living and doing it quite well, and I’m not even a big fan….just don’t like bullies.

    • bella says:

      +1 gina
      great points!
      i get the impression that the country folks will claw the eyes out of someone they don’t see as true country and will malign those they are jealous of till the cows come home 😉

      • Gina says:

        Haha. True! Didn’t Carrie sing some song about keying and destroying her boyfriend’s car after he cheated on her……angry country girls!

    • MrsB says:

      They don’t care about Taylor or consider her a traitor. They are just jokes, and they make fun of different people every year. No need to take it so seriously.

      • Gina says:

        I’m not taking it seriously at all. Not a country girl. It was them, in my opinion, that took it over the top…..and did it very awkwardly to boot. Seems since Carrie got so much flack coming off of American Idol, she’d have a little more class, but I guess they just read the words printed in front of them.

      • MrsB says:

        Have you watched their opening monologues before? They are always this snarky…every single year. If I’m remembering correctly, they made fun of Taylor a few years ago for her “aw shucks” routine every time she won an award. Also, I don’t think anybody really ever considered Taylor Swift fully country anyway…

    • FingerBinger says:

      I thought Taylor was always pop. I don’t know why they would consider her a traitor since she was never exclusively country to begin with.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      I didn’t interpret it that way at all. They talked about missing her and made jokes that the audience assumed was about Ebola, but were actually about a fictatious Taylor Swift withdrawl disease. In fact, they specifically said if Taylor ever wants to come back to Country musics, there will be a seat waiting for her. They do not think of her as a traitor. She came on the scene as somewhat cross-over and Country music wants cross-over anywhere they can get it. That’s why they have so many pop artists collaborating with country artists during the award show and in the studios. Blake Shelton is big on cross-over. So is Tim McGraw. They feel Country is the new rock-n-roll since there is no true genre for old school rock-n-roll any more. Steven Tyler said the same when he came on to host for a bit. At the end of the day they are all guitarists and respect eachother’s talent. The writers for the CMA are good. You can’t watch it w/out cracking up even when you know you probably shouldn’t.

    • Avery says:

      Thought their tribute to Taylor Swift was sweet , a few jokes , but nothing that wasn’t in end complimentary .

      And why would they feel betrayed what a silly argument, instead they must feel great that a artist nurtured in Nashville , Taylor moved there age 16 , youngest artist to ever win Grammy of the Year for Best Album , made album sales history , that country star has now become the biggest Pop star in the world , just shows the versatility and potential Nashville.

  4. Erinn says:

    Ahahah, I had to go check Leann’s twitter feed.

    She actually posted a clip of her at the CMA’s when she was 13. How old is this woman? She’s like 31? Somewhere around there? She needed to post a nearly 20 year old video on the CMA night just to seem relevant. It’s actually… just sad at this point.

    • Christin says:

      Good grief. If they ever made a doll of her, she was probably carrying it around last night while yodeling Blue (a modern day Baby Jane story for sure).

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      Erinn, I am high fiving you right now…haha. She is so freaking desperate. Always so desperate to have attention on her.

      *I’m still laughing about it*

      • Erinn says:

        Haha, thanks VG – I felt a little sketchy bothering to go see her feed…but couldn’t help myself haha. It was worth it, really.

  5. Jenns says:

    Maybe these jokes would work better coming from an actual comedian? Otherwise, they just seem unnecessary.

  6. OrangeBlohan says:

    I thought they did great on the opening, as they always do. They always tackle whatever is in the news. They weren’t actually joking about Ebola. They were joking about the nurse who would not be quarantined. Carrie is beautiful, and always so professional. I see a very long future ahead for her in music.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      They did do a great job. It seems like country music is held to an unrealistic expectation to forever be “careful” and “nice” but they aren’t that bland. It’s no different than the news skits on SNL. They poke fun at everything in the current news….like relief sketches. They didn’t say anything at all about Africa or people dying or who cares because they’re beneath us. They joked about the nurse refusing to stay put. That was it. People want to make much ado about nothing and find racism and cruelty where there is none. If it were Seth McFarland and Tina Fey doing the SNL news, nobody would think anything of it, but because the CMA hosts are usually white southerners, people look for nastiness. I don’t get it. I’ll take the CMA’s over MTV or even the Grammy’s any day. CMA still has class, taste and my son can watch it w/out seeing simulated sex or giant fake boobs thrust in the cameras.

  7. Toot says:

    Poor Renee.

    • feebee says:

      Why do I get the feeling Carrie really enjoyed that one?

    • mayamae says:

      That one made me mad and I don’t even like Renee. They’re picking on her because of her disastrous marriage to Kenny Chesney. How about a closeted joke aimed at Kenny?

  8. it'sjustblanche says:

    Holy hairpieces! She looks like she stole Arianna Grande’s wig on the way to the show.

  9. BendyWindy says:

    That Renee Z. joke was well done.

  10. Maria says:

    I’ve no problem with their jokes minus the jab at Renee and the Democrats.

    Renee felt pressure to “youthen” her face, god forbid a woman age gracefully, society really makes women hate ourselves.

    As for democrats losing the senate because Obama doesn’t care about PTSD, whatever, the entire senate–political affiliation be damned–doesn’t care about our troops.

    Saying it’s just one sided is disingenuous at best–I get heated over our veterans because our facility is the only lab in south texas contracted to do their studies –there’s no excuse for the lack of psychiatric care they receive.

    Nothing about that is funny to me.

  11. TTMuch says:

    I thought it was really funny, the hosting, for the most part. Not nearly enough shade shots from the audience, though, sigh. Brad Paisley is very funny, but Carrie Underwood climbs on my last nerve. Bad, overacting, almost-clapping, mean-cheerleader-smirking jerk. Do.not.like

    And the sound was AWFUL, very muffled. It didn’t seem to matter who was playing (except The Band Perry), they were able to overcome the cr*p sound.

  12. Stacie says:

    Man, tough crowd around here! I thought Brad and Carrie were hilarious as always.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      Me too. They were good and that’s all there is to it. I laughed out loud several times. They play off eachother well…obviously comfortable hosting together.

    • Mel M says:

      I agree, the republicans always gets made fun of in every aspect of media today. So the country stars had a little of that fun. It’s not anything you don’t see around here or other media everyday regarding the right. If you can dish it you have to be able to take it.

    • Carol says:

      I thought they were hilarious as well! I loved the George Strait bit: “When you ride away you’re supposed to go someplace . . . . Luke would be happy to get you a faster horse.” It all made me laugh.

      Regarding Carrie’s dresses, I thought the red one was best.

  13. Ms. Lib says:

    Thanks CB — love that you have all the dresses Carrie Underwood wore during this awards ceremony. She is so darling – I remember her from Idol.

  14. JenniferJustice says:

    Say what you want about the hosting, but Carrie’s singing her new song, Water, was amazing. She never misses a note, wouldn’t dream of lip-syncing, and even with the awful sound in that auditorium, she was pure perfection. Man, that woman can belt it. What an awesome voice!

  15. Jayna says:

    It was cruel to make fun of Renee. She is a sweet woman who has lived a quiet life as an actress and who has never said a bad word about anyone. She didn’t deserve to be the butt of a joke on a music awards show.

    • Chris says:

      Yeah–kick a girl when she’s down…

    • Christin says:

      This is probably a stretch, but maybe she came up because of her very brief marriage to a country star? It really seems out of place unless they were taking a little jab because of that old history.

    • pwal says:

      ITA. One of the main reasons why I like Renee is because she never traded on her romances with high-profile people although, she did date some major names (Carrey, Clooney, Cooper, etc.)

      I hope Renee will continue to live her life like it’s golden and keep it classy, but I wouldn’t be too sad if she drop some dime on certain people if they continue to dwell on something that doesn’t affect their daily lives in any way, shape or form.

      • mayamae says:

        Considering the rumor is he tricked her into being his beard, he should be grateful she kept her mouth shut.

  16. Triple Cardinal says:

    Carrie never met a song she couldn’t oversing. Yes, she and Brad did well with their funny/snarky intro and yes, the sound mix was from hunger.

  17. Lucybelle says:

    Loved the CMAs. I’ve been a country fan for ages. Thought Carrie and Brad did a great job together. They have good chemistry. I can’t believe anyone would think Brad “accidentally” spilled the beans about the baby. Wasn’t it obvious it was all scripted?
    I love Little Big Town but that performance with that Ariana girl was bad bad bad. LBT sounded good but I seriously couldn’t understand a word she sang.
    I’m bummed Zac Brown Band didn’t win anything. I’ve seen them in concert 5 times and they are so very talented. Just awesome musicians.
    If you want to hear an absolutely amazing artist, listen to Brandy Clark. She was nominated for best new artist last night and presented an award. I have never heard her on the radio but I discovered her on Pandora. She is fabulous and a great songwriter. She co-wrote “Follow Your Arrow” with Kasey Musgraves. Her album 12 Stories is one of the best alums I’ve heard.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      Grande is known for not annunciating well, plus it was a different version b/c she didn’t have Minage and Jesse J. All she could do was prance around in her tutu singing high notes. I actually like Arianna, but not with Country. It wasn’t a good fit. I loved the Band Perry’s singing of that Glenn Campbell song. As soon as I heard it, I thought, finally, The Band Perry has a song I like, but…it wasn’t their’s – that’s why I liked it. I want to like them b/c they seem nice, wholesome, hard-working, but all their music sounds the same and I can’t stand the lead singer’s voice…sounds like she needs to clear her throat.

      • Lucybelle says:

        I hear ya regarding The Band Perry! I’m sure they are lovely people but I just can’t with her voice and the guys’ hair. They have never put out a song that I just loved.
        The worst by far for me is Florida Georgia Line. I can’t for the life of me figure out how they are so stinking popular. They dress like complete douches and the main singer’s voice makes me want to put my fist through the wall. I change the station as soon as I hear that heinous voice.
        That’s why I love Pandora. I get exposed to lots of obscure, talented artists that never make it on the radio.

  18. maddelina says:

    Not a country and western fan but I did catch the part about Rene Zelwegger. I thought it was cruel, not funny. All the torch a twang, cowboy hats, big hair and god thanking is a little over the top for me. It is entertaining to watch though.

  19. Val says:

    Did they cut to Kenny Chesney after that Renee joke?

    • Lucybelle says:

      Nope, I expected them to but they didn’t. It didn’t seem to me that they had too many cutaways to the audience. Makes me wonder if they didn’t get the reactions they were hoping for.

  20. Dancinancy says:

    The hold the CMAs at our arena because it is large, not because of the acoustics. Though I maintain a true artist will sound good anywhere and doesn’t have to bounce their voice off the walls for cheap autotune.

    I hate hate hate that Trainor and Grande were there. They are not remotely country.

  21. TheOneandOnlyOnly says:

    I read some other blogs and the comments were far more critical questioning everything from why a no talent like Ariane Grande was even there to the observation that this is really just pop music out of Nashville to the observation that it is all about the dollars and dignity is dead in the American music scene given all the desperate cross over stunts. Rock singers at a CMA?
    BTW, Miranda lambert only wrote one of the songs on her 16 track album. Seven were co-written and eight were written by Nashville pros. The album is hardly an expression of her musical soul; do any of these people write and arrange their own music?
    The standards for being called a musician, let alone an “artist” are pretty low these days.