This is one of my favorite parts of the Oscar season, and I love that The Hollywood Reporter keeps doing this. For a few years now, THR sits down with Oscar voters from various branches (actors’ branch, directors’ branch, etc) and records them as they fill out their Oscar ballots. All of it is done under the condition of anonymity – all we know is which branch the voters belong to. THR published their first ballot article yesterday and it’s from a member of the “public relations branch” – likely a publicist working for a studio or a larger agency. These articles are just for unmitigated dirt and gossip about the inner workings of Oscar campaigns and what Oscar voters really REALLY think of nominees. I would suggest reading the full piece here. But here are some highlights:

The voter is tired of hearing about Selma’s “snubs”: “What no one wants to say out loud is that Selma is a well-crafted movie, but there’s no art to it. If the movie had been directed by a 60-year-old white male, I don’t think that people would have been carrying on about it to the level that they were. And as far as the accusations about the Academy being racist? Yes, most members are white males, but they are not the cast of Deliverance — they had to get into the Academy to begin with, so they’re not cretinous, snaggletoothed hillbillies. When a movie about black people is good, members vote for it. But if the movie isn’t that good, am I supposed to vote for it just because it has black people in it? I’ve got to tell you, having the cast show up in T-shirts saying “I can’t breathe”— I thought that stuff was offensive. Did they want to be known for making the best movie of the year or for stirring up sh-t?”

On Birdman: “I never thought that it would make it all the way to the finish line like it has — but then I remember that it’s about a tortured actor, and when you think about who is doing the voting, at SAG and the Academy, it’s a lot of other tortured actors. I just don’t know how much it’s resonating out in the world.”

Voting for The Imitation Game for Best Picture: “On paper, The Imitation Game seemed to be the one to me. It’s a great story, well-crafted, [Benedict Cumberbatch] is really good and it’s been a big success. It’s what you call “prestige filmmaking.” So why isn’t it receiving more recognition? I’d like to believe it’s karma for Harvey [Weinstein]. But I’m going to hold my nose and vote for it anyway because when you vote for best picture, what you should try to do is vote for the movie that, years from now, people will still watch and talk about. ..(1) The Imitation Game; (2) Birdman; (3) American Sniper; (4) Boyhood; (5) The Grand Budapest Hotel”

Vote for Best Director: “I’m voting for Richard Linklater. I think that what he did — as a “thing” — is extraordinary. I’m absolutely comfortable with breaking up picture and director; I wouldn’t know [The Imitation Game’s] Morten Tyldum if I walked into him. I thought all of the others were fine except for one: I could have watched my hair grow during Foxcatcher — it was so slow.”

Vote for Best Actor: “I’m voting for [Birdman’s] Michael Keaton because I love him and for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is he seems like a completely sane person who lives in the middle of the country and works when he wants to work. I’ve loved every interview that he’s done. He seems grateful, not particularly needy, and I don’t know when he’ll ever get another chance at this; the other nominees will. What Keaton had to do was harder than what the others had to do because they had the benefit of playing real people. I mean, Eddie Redmayne did an amazing impression of Stephen Hawking, but Keaton created a character from whole cloth.

Thoughts on Jennifer Aniston: “I’m not sorry that Jennifer Aniston isn’t nominated; she was fine, but I thought her movie [Cake] was ridiculous. …The minute I saw Still Alice, I remember thinking, “This [best actress race] is over. Four other women are going to have to get dressed and go to 5,000 dinners knowing they have no chance.”

Best Supporting Actor: “J.K. Simmons’ performance was in a different league. It’s kind of ironic that he’s in “supporting,” right? I’m voting for him because he was great in the movie — and because he was in 5,000 episodes of Law & Order. In other words, he’s been acting forever, I’ve seen enough of his work to know he is a journeyman, and I’m happy to be able to recognize him.

Best Supporting Actress: “Laura Dern was good, but I didn’t think she was as good as [A Most Violent Year’s] Jessica Chastain. Keira Knightley was fine and got in on the [Imitation Game] ticket. Emma Stone was pretty good [in Birdman], but she can do no wrong — she’s like Meryl Streep, although I wish [the film for which Streep is nominated] Into the Woods stopped after 20 minutes. But I’m voting for Arquette. She gets points for working on a film for 12 years and bonus points for having no work done during the 12 years. If she had had work done during the 12 years, she would not be collecting these statues. It’s a bravery reward. It says, “You’re braver than me. You didn’t touch your face for 12 years. Way to freakin’ go!”

[From THR]

There’s lots of other shade for some more minor players, like this voter strangely despises P.T. Anderson and Edward Snowden equally. The voter also loved The Lego Movie. Did we learn anything new here? Not really – three of the acting categories are completely done and I believe Julianne Moore, Patricia Arquette and JK Simmons should all be practicing their speeches. But I like that at the end of the day, Jennifer Aniston’s CAKE was a joke to some Oscar voters. As for the diatribe about Selma, I think that was really unfair criticism. And I do think Selma was artful or artistic or whatever you want to say – ever since I saw TIG, I can’t believe that Morten Tyldum got nominated over Ava DuVernay.

Photos courtesy of WENN.