John Mayer twitters about his breakup from Jennifer Aniston

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Who needs a therapist when you have Twitter? John Mayer is dropping cheesy hints about his breakup from Jennifer Aniston using his Tweets for sympathy. Or just to share the excruciating minutiae of his life with as many people as possible. I’m not going to lie – this breakup is certainly hard for Mayer. How is he going to get publicity after this? What paparazzi is going to bother following him around – aside from TMZ? He’s got to do something to make sure people are still paying attention, and what better way to constantly share insignificant information than Twitter?

Thus, John is blogging about his broken heart. Or rather, his complicated heart.

Is John Mayer still trying to cope with his reported breakup with Jennifer Aniston? The sensitive rock star took to his Twitter page on Monday, giving fans a brief glimpse into his emotional state.

John first asked his Twitter followers to share their “six word story” on the mirco-blogging Web site, writing, “Ernest Hemingway once claimed he could write a great story in six words or less… I’m certainly not the first person to pass the plate around on this, but Twitter seems like an excellent place to try it.”

And when it came time to reveal his own short story, the musician focused on a matter of the heart.

“My six word story: ‘This heart didn’t come with instructions.’” he wrote.

[From Access Hollywood]

Oh what depth John Mayer! Hemingway? Way to pull out the big guns. I love how John is always trying to convince us that his heart is deeply involved with all his women. I guess we can’t know for sure, but somehow I have a hard time buying it. A few of John’s other recent Twitters? “What I already have, but forever. Thanks for the chance. G’night all” and “My YouTube recommendations would have me believe I only like watching street fights and combustible flatulence” Somehow I feel like that last one says more about what’s really on John’s mind lately.

Here’s John Mayer keeping a stern face upon arrival at Los Angeles International Airport on February 19th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

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58 Responses to “John Mayer twitters about his breakup from Jennifer Aniston”

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  1. Jenna says:

    Cue the surprised gasps and… now!

  2. audrey says:

    self-absorbed twit. and he sings like a p***y.

  3. Enonymous says:

    Is he still alive? I don’t get these famous women that date this manwh*re when he is clearly using them to further his ‘career’ and extend his 15 minutes of fame. The women, like Jennifer Aniston, might think they are using him too but John Mayer is clearly the one that profits the most and they in return come out as the used ones.

  4. luckystar says:

    He bores me.

  5. sissoucat says:

    Just replace “heart” in his 6-words sentence with “d*ck” or “booty” and you’ll read the Real Truth of John Mayer.

  6. loldongs says:

    Lol, doucherocket.

  7. Elena says:

    Honestly i don’t know why was she even with him he is like so ugly

  8. someone says:

    No one ever REALLY knows what John Mayer is talking about. Im not sure he even knows..

  9. Annie says:

    Faux-depth.

    Better than just plain-outright-stupid. Imo.

  10. michellle says:

    Impressed by “Your Body is a Wonder Land”.

    Revolted by his making out w/ beast of all beasts Perez Hilton.

    Now just bothered by yet another needy display.

  11. Judy says:

    OMG he is such a waste..but she will be back with him..just watch. They do this for publicity as neither one of them really has a great career..b movies and b songs.

  12. Hieronymus Grex says:

    ‘twittering’- what an appropriate name for the service, considering the sort of people who use it to prattle on about their useless lives.

  13. Beth says:

    I admit, the more he tweets, the less I like him. I had to stop his tweets from coming through my cell phone because there were too many. But when I listen to his music, I completely separate it from his seemingly obnoxious personality. And my guess is, even if he’s a douche, the women like the sex. It’s really the only explanation. He must be good in bed.

  14. patty anne says:

    John seems to be very complicated and unsure of his place in the world. He’s forever twittering about rationalizing his life. It’s better to live your life John, than to twitter it away. Join a monestary and write your life away in music…you seem to desire to become a tortured recluse…..or whatever. Jen must be feeling a huge sign of relief about now….

  15. May says:

    But, but, “He thinks thoughts and that is why I like him” so someone famous said about him. Which at the time was seen as such a complement. Funny how things change. Actually, I have no idea what he is talking about and I don’t think he does either. He is too busy thinking more thoughts.

  16. Greg B. says:

    I remember reading somewhere that Hemingway’s own example of a six-word story was “For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.”

  17. andrea says:

    i must be blind, I don’t see Jennifer Aniston’s name in that post and if you’d bother to go read all the posts from that day you’ll understand.

  18. teri says:

    Shoot I give John a full year to talk about Jen every chance he gets, at least a full year and no less. Seeing Jen still takes every chance possible to bring up Brad, Angelina and the children five years later.

  19. Baholicious says:

    See, I’d just hire somebody to irreparably break his fingers. No twitter, no guitar, no ‘John Mayer.’ Easy-peasy.

  20. debra says:

    I have to say I am loving the mini drama. He is out and about showing the world that he is the dumper. Jennifer has not been seen from nor heard from. So John is using this time to say to the world I am on top. But then he never said much about the relationship. I wonder if Oprah will have her great friend on the show. I mean that is the usual course of action..Brad break up. go on Oprah.. Vince still boyfriend.. go on Oprah.. Need a boost, go on Oprah to tell the world how wonderful your life is. I happen to like John’s music. and did not understand the “She deserves someone better” based on what?
    She is not a child. She picked this man. Not once but twice. She got what she deserved.

  21. Maritza says:

    I bet he already has a replacement, probably as famous as JA. He seems to love the attention.

  22. Granger says:

    “This heart didn’t come with instructions,” my ass. Aniston wouldn’t have known how to read them anyway.

  23. What assses! says:

    Totally agree Debra and Granger! Can’t wait to see how Aniston’s camp responds to pretty boy’s betrayal. More rumors about how cheap Mayer is? More attacks about his “coldness”? Remember when she said “you’ll never hear from THAT man again!” Aniston is a friggin’ idiot. NO ONE stops the MAYER. Bimbo should’ve learned from Jessica Simpson’s example.

  24. the original kate says:

    “this heart doesn’t come with instructions”? wow…that’s deep. no, it isn’t…shut up, john.

  25. Jade says:

    I love this guy. Wouldn’t want to date him, but he never lets me down, gossip-wise. He’s so much more interesting than that wooden plank, Aniston, anyways. Charge on, John! Plow thru those Hollywood vajay-jays, and then tell us ALL about it. Some fun!

  26. Rita says:

    debra, IAWY, JohnM is who and what he is. Jen is a grown woman and knew who and what he is. Her choice not once but 2X. Guess Huvane is out beating the bushes for a man, any man at this point. GerButler was once in the mix so I look for the next fauxmance to maybe feature him if Jen and Huvance are willing to pay his asking price. LOL This is better than a tv soap.

  27. luvs it says:

    Yes debra, yes. Tell it like it is.

  28. serena says:

    Boy this is a real JA site. Poot John. He got used by her pr team and now they want to throw him to the wolves. JA’s team better be careful. Mayers twitter reaches alot of people, most not JA fans. She has dumped on Angie now it is her turn. I wonder how she likes it.

  29. cee says:

    I think David Spade would be perfect for X. He is still fiends with Brad so she can get him to keep tabs on Brad and Angie and the kids. Maybe he can even get her on his TV program.

  30. LilyBme says:

    six word story?

  31. LilyBme says:

    na na hey hey hey goodbye.

  32. Lola says:

    He is such an a**hole. He don’t realize that he is a noboby.
    jen deserves a lot better

  33. Bina says:

    Nobody’s going to be happy until John Mayer goes out with Paris Hilton and catches herpes.

  34. ThatBKChick says:

    AND OH YEAH…TWO WORDS FOR MAYER…”TWITTERING TWIT”

  35. Charlene says:

    And, I bet after Mayer catches herpes, Aniston will take him back for another round when she needs red carpet arm candy.

  36. ms adamantia claus says:

    Ok. I like his music, I like the way he writes, I like his melodic hcord progressions and he IS a very good guitar player, even B B King said so…so I resisted when others were less than admiring but I finally have to admit it …he’s a douche – strawberry scented douche.
    God man, shut the hell up, where IS your mother? Mine woulda showed up by NOW at my door by, hand on hip and dragged me off by the ear already…

  37. Bina says:

    Just because someone is a good artist doesn’t mean they are a good person. History is full of such examples of great painters who were cruel to women, writers who drank themselves to death, and so on. Now I know John Mayer’s no Mozart, but still, I wonder why we expect sainthood from these people – they’re in the business of entertainment, and aren’t trying to win a congeniality contest.

  38. santacruz says:

    Jennifer Aniston doesn’t appear to be particularly bright, but surely she knew this was bound to happen. Wasn’t it John who commented that he only dated stupid women…if the shoe fits JA etc……

  39. TM says:

    douchebag…… the fauxmance must have a great numbers of zerosss , to keep him going back and to the bank
    wonder how much the contract was worth??
    lets pay guessing game and guess who steven huvane have on speed dial for the next contract

  40. Yae says:

    The serial woman-dumper strikes again. He’s “high” right now. Sickos like this enjoy this moment and savor it after a breakup. He’s soaking this up like a fine glass of wine.

  41. Yae says:

    OH I forgot their next step after the “high” of the breakup. They get all emotional and deep, making themselves seem like they are wounded profoundly….while trolling for the next victim. His last twitter is just him putting his worm on the hook for the next victim.

  42. PJ says:

    Here’s a gem from the johnmayer.com blog: It’s the words to a song he’s writing but hasn’t finished yet:

    ASSASSIN

    “I was a killer, was the best they’d ever seen
    I’d take your heart before you ever heard a thing
    I’m an assassin and I had a job to do
    Little did I know that girl was an assassin, too…”

    Does this plot line sound familiar, like Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

  43. PJ says:

    What does “This heart didn’t come with instructions” mean? I have no idea.

  44. rhoniluv says:

    here’s my six-word story:

    stop giving this grade a douche pussy

  45. Kristen says:

    I just can’t stand this guy and I’m not a huge fan of JA. He just seems like such a jerk.

  46. eternalcanadian says:

    wow, twittering about your break-up is just as tacky as breaking up via text. 😛

  47. Blah blah blah says:

    UGH, I’m gagging from the cheese!

    “This heart didn’t come with instructions” as well as the song lyrics PJ posted–I’m ready to vomit on my keyboard.

  48. aJAZ says:

    well maniston did say his better in the sack than brad in her superficial way while flicking her expensive hair and also dated brads friend and spears ex and k reeves and her marley and me co star,boy she gets around

  49. gg says:

    Amazingly, when they re-hooked back up again, he stopped shaving and looked like a dog that had a mean master. They break up again, and voila’, he starts shaving again and suddenly no longer looks like a put-down East LA coke dealer.

    Interesting.

  50. diddy says:

    ^^^
    gg do u know that is an old picture from feb 19 , he was still dating her then.
    infact we haven’t seen a picture of him since the breakup cos he is recording his new album and according to reports he rented a mansion in a gated community (the paps are not allowed in the gated compound)which he turned into a recording studio.

  51. Aspen says:

    …and the douchebaggery continues.

  52. Z says:

    LOL Baholicious!

  53. Z says:

    Right on Bina: “Just because someone is a good artist doesn’t mean they are a good person.” So, so true.

  54. debra says:

    Just read some of the post. I was reminded of the song John had written Jennifer. He is in the studio making new music. I wonder if he will be inspired by this breakup and put those emotions in song. Music men do that all the time. So this time next year, we could know quite a bit about how he feel or felt about her. Remember “your body is a wonderland”.. But again it just kills me how she is hiding out this time. Working on the next strategy must take a lot of planning. Don’t be surprised if she does something to correlate when Brad/Angie go to Cannes. Time will tell.

  55. diddy says:

    ^^^
    debra u cant even get ur facts right about ‘your body is a wonderland’ lol that song wasnt about any of his girlfriends, he wrote it two years before he dated jeniffer love hewitte…

  56. diddy says:

    and what do u mean by jennifer hiding out? x17 posted a video and pics of her on friday boarding a plane to i assume ny to start shooting her new movie which begings shooting this month; that doesnt seem like hiding out to me; the woman has work to do

  57. lois says:

    CONGRATULATION, JOHN. JENIFER IS NOT FIT YOU. WHO IS TOO OLD AND UGLY FOR YOU

  58. katie says:

    Hey ahahaha wow you guys are so funny!!!!!