Zoe Saldana: Being a ‘self-focused’ mom doesn’t make you a ‘selfish’ mom

Zoe Saldana

This is a little checkup with Zoe Saldana’s quest to get back in fighting shape after giving birth to twin boys. She’s invited us into the process, which is unusual and (to me) preferable than seeing her bragging on a magazine cover about how chasing kids around made her snap back. Zoe’s intense film schedule will start back up in less than two months. She’s nervous about her baby weight even though those few lingering pounds look really fantastic on her. Zoe already talked about her “frustrating, painful” struggle to get her old body back. If she wasn’t an action movie star, I wouldn’t understand her rush. But I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that movie studios are breathing down her neck. Marvel famously visited Chris Pratt at home when he was losing weight, so it’s not beyond the realm of possibility here.

Zoe’s probably being really hard on herself too. She took to her Facebook page as an update. She promised to do this last week with a “Let’s do it together. Let’s talk about it, hear each other out, and seek advice when we need it.” So Zoe’s talking it out. She’s a little upset about her busy week, but she resolves to prioritize herself:

“I made it! After a week of postponing my workout due to life & meetings & work, I prioritized it. I prioritized myself. A good friend once told me that being self-focussed doesn’t necessarily mean you are being selfish. Be self-focussed!”

[Zoe Saldana on Facebook]

There’s also a post-workout selfie video at the link (and FYI, Guardians director James Gunn “liked” this post). This is just a tiny update, yet it reveals a lot about Zoe’s state of mind. She has baby twins, a husband, and multiple movies on the way. She has a nanny to help, but Zoe is so busy. I do sense the mommy-guilt complex in her words. Zoe is correct, it’s okay to focus on yourself even as a new mom. I would argue that some “alone” time for mom is healthy for the whole family. Zoe will work it out.

Zoe Saldana

Marco Perego

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

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24 Responses to “Zoe Saldana: Being a ‘self-focused’ mom doesn’t make you a ‘selfish’ mom”

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  1. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I think she looks great. Maybe she should reevaluate what she wants her body to look like?

    • TracySmiles says:

      Agreed, she looks great now. In saying that, she’s absolutely right with her comments regarding being self focussed. Everyone needs to be regardless of whether they have children or not… it’s healthy.

    • Kiddo says:

      She looks great as are her points. I just can’t with Federline 2.0.

    • Tracy says:

      Tell it to the studios, not to her!

      • Luce says:

        Exactly. They are the ones forcing her to lose the weight, which is always atrocious, and in Zoe’s case, idiotic, because she looks a million times better with her post pregnancy body. I never thought she was attractive before and never “got it” that she was some great beauty or even sexy. Post-pregnancy, I think she is stunning AND sexy.

    • lana86 says:

      focuSSed? ok

    • Anne tommy says:

      Oh FFS most people would swap their problem for her ” struggles”. Self focused or selfish? Fine line…

  2. CrazyCatLady says:

    God I understand her struggle. I had a little boy 9 months ago. Between being a mommy, working, and trying to get my body back into shape it seems like there’s so little time in the day. And any minute I’m not with him I feel incredibly guilty.

    • taterho says:

      From another cat lady, Congratulations!
      I hope you have a support system that allows you time for yourself. I had a wonderful mom and sister that was able to do that for me, but I still felt the guilt when I did get away here and there.

    • lolamd says:

      CCL – I used to feel like that too. It is only when he turned 3 that I felt okay to go do something for myself. I have no idea why I never did it sooner because even if I take a little time to myself I am so recharged and mentally ready for anything!

    • Dani says:

      I felt like that too! I went back to work when my daughter was 2 months and was miserable because I was away from her BUT now she’s almost 2 years old, in daycare, she LOVES it and is so happy and that makes me happy. Be proud of yourself for all you’ve done!!

  3. shizwhat says:

    Its like that thing they tell you on airplanes… put your oxygen mask on first and then your child’s mask. You really can’t be at your best if you don’t put yourself first and children are innocent enough to assume they are always first so it really makes no difference. I’d die for my children without even blinking but you know what, I’m going pee and I’m putting on makeup before they can even start making their demands for the day. Im just not that mom running around town in her husbands sweats with no makeup. There’s no shame in that but for me, that’s what I like to do to feel like myself and I think every mother needs to remember that.

    • Ripley says:

      I’m such a fan of the “airplane rule”… For life, for relationships, for motherhood…. Hell, even for countries. Help yourself first and then you can help others.

  4. Dolce crema says:

    It’s hard to have your body change quickly. I always thougt my arms were too thin (for my big bones, my elbows were quite prominent) and that my face would look better plumper , but when those things happenned (plus I got d cups!) after my second kid it was really weird to suddenly look so different even though I still looked “normal” and my top half was actually better to my bottom half than ever! It just felt weird to change quickly and not to have control over my body… After having it the same for so many years. Zoe looks lovely and normal but also definitely different than before, I don’t blame her if she doesn’t accept the new look right away.

  5. JB says:

    I think some people (moms and otherwise) can take it too far and wind up being more selfish than they think but, for some reason, I don’t think Zoe will end up doing that. She seems to have become more grounded and conscious since having those babies.

    That said, I’m glad she’s working out and keeping her strength up. So she can keep opening all those jars she’s always talking about.

  6. Cel says:

    She has a husband and a nanny, so two babies and two carers whilst she is out and about. She has done nothing to think she is being selfish – this is her expectation that the media will take a pop at her for not being with the twins. Sad.

  7. Regina Phalange (formerly Kara) says:

    I have never had this mommy guilt. My friends talk about it sometimes and and I just nod and pretend I understand, but I don’t. Perhaps I am missing some sort of gene or something. Or maybe I am just a crappy mother.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      No you’re not. I’m not a mother, but I have always needed some time to myself to stay sane, and have never felt guilty for taking it. I don’t think that would have changed if I had a child. It’s better for everybody if I’m sane. Lol

  8. Tiffany says:

    Motherhood has made her tolerable. Damn.

  9. Miss W says:

    She looks gorgeous! I love her curves. She’s still tiny.

  10. karen says:

    …she’s got startrek, avatar, guardians in the pipeline plus 2 babies…in the words of brian mills ‘ good luck.’

  11. INeedANap says:

    I think for women, Hollywood thinks that “skinnier = more fit.” But for an action star, she should aim for athleticism and strength, not just being as tiny as possible. I feel bad for her, she looks great but doesn’t feel it.

  12. Mike says:

    Oh shut up.

    She became a mom like two days ago and now she is an expert about everything maternal? Man, these Hollywood bimbos are growing more insufferable every day…