Nicki Minaj covers the July issue of Cosmo to promote The Pinkprint and her tour. The shoot is typical Cosmo cheesecake. Nicki could have pulled these clothes out of her own wardrobe, so she’s an ideal cover girl for the mag. Nicki talks a little about her breakup with Safaree Samuels and how it influenced this album, which the critics say is “miles ahead in maturity“ than her previous music.
Since this is Cosmo, the focus of the interview is on the bedroom. Nicki talks about how she requires her man to make her climax every time they get down. She believes all women should be equally demanding. Nicki also feels sorry for ladies who haven’t felt the earth move even once in their lifetimes. So she sets up “orgasm interventions” to teach her friends how to make the most of their action. Really.
Women should talk about money: “Women are uncomfortable talking about money. I know it’s taboo to discuss it at work. Technically, you shouldn’t, but you need to know what people around you are making. Otherwise, you’re not going to know what you’re worth. You have to ask questions. ‘What is this person getting?’ Do your research. I’ve always been pretty competitive in terms of my pay.”
The Pinkprint is (sort of) about her breakup: “I didn’t [set out] to write a personal album, but The Pinkprint came at a very crucial time in my life. I realized that people can up and take off at any given moment. As women, we are vulnerable and emotional, and that’s okay. I had to learn quickly that if you don’t have a sense of self, you can be destroyed by a man. You can be destroyed by a relationship. I had to ask myself, ‘Who am I? Is this good enough?’ I had to approve of myself and my skills.”
Women should demand more orgasms: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that. I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me. We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying, ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this.’ She says she’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser, but it’s 50/50.”
[From Cosmopolitian]
Nicki talks more about how she wants to eventually quit music and be a full-time mother. She says it’s a 10-year goal to quit the entertainment biz and focus on family. I’m not sure that Nicki will be able to stay away forever because she’s so career driven. Maybe she’ll start curating her own lifestyle blog full of pink-makeup recommendations. Imagine a Goop-esque site filled with animal-print decor and clothing. Make it happen.
On all of Nicki’s orgasm talk, she may have turned up her usual vibe to indulge Cosmo’s audience. But I totally believe she gives her friends climax tips, and it’s fine that she admits being demanding in bed. Men usually don’t have trouble asking for what they want, so ladies shouldn’t feel bad about doing it too.
Photos courtesy of Matthias Vriens-McGrath/Cosmopolitan & WENN
Good on her.
Only one? Seriously? 6-10 should be minimum. Women are able to climax over and over.
Exactly! ‘Demanding’ *a* big O during sex is like picking up a newspaper and demanding a news article. Isn’t at least one generally a given?
That’s exactly what I thought. I “demand” at least 3 every time we do the deed. Feel sorry hubby only gets to have one each go… It’s good to be a woman!
Um, I don’t think expecting to have an orgasm is being demanding… it’s kind of the point, right?
Right. Sex is still taboo for a lot of people but most have figured it out already.
WTF? Did I wake up to the year 1955? Women demand orgasms?
You would be amazed how many men assume that it’s optional.
The thing is that a lot of young women / girls who are just started out don’t know these things. For them, it’s all about him, being with him and making him feel good.
See looks cute in her red, white & blue swimsuit.
I think it’s good for her to say this. Was reading Dan Savage (one of his more recent books – sorry can’t remember) and in polls taken of young woman on their satisfaction with sex they rated high if ‘they looked good’. Some of the young women did not know that they were supposed to physically enjoy sex. We have taken a step backwards.
Also, some of us when we’re first starting out either masturbating or having sex don’t know for sure that it’s an orgasm that we’re experiencing. (like for example, some think it’s not an orgasm if it doesn’t have you screaming like a porn star). I didn’t fully grasp that that was what it was until I started looking up and asking other women what exactly an orgasm feels like, because when I had first asked my mom, she wasn’t descriptive enough in telling me what an orgasm feels like. (Understandably so).
Where’s her arse (British) gone???
If your man treats you right, you can have have sky rockets any old night. I know I do.
I’ve never been intimate with a man or had a conversation with a man who has ever told me he’s had a sexual experience and NOT climaxed. In a mans world, to my knowledge, sex ends with climax…period. End of story. Why should or would a woman live any differently???
…on a side note, I am a married woman and admittedly, especially as I age it can take longer for me to ummm get there. So, my hubs gets a pass sometimes. Poor guy lol, sometimes he tries and tries and she just won’t give it up!!! Healthy relationships allow for ups and downs… 🙂
Good for her, although I’d be loathe to follow sex tips from Ms. Trufflebutter. Do not want raging BV infection!
Lol, you know the urban dictionary definition came AFTER the song right? As in purely made up to see who fell for it.
I googled, now I regret it. No….
Well… um… yeah. Is this groundbreaking or something?
Do some women not have an orgasm when they have sex? That’s just rude on the part of the man
A surprising number of women don’t have orgasms during intercourse, thank god I’m not one of them, but a lot of women I know can’t get there or are too afraid to ask their men to do different things!
Research says 1/3 never comes. Growing up, I would always hear my friends talk about sex but when I finally had sex (I’m a latebloomer), I realised how hard it is and how women must be telling half truths when they talk about their awesome sex lives. It can be awesome without an orgasm but I don’t think most talk about that part as it’s deemed so important.
When I asked my friends to be honest, a lot of them barely come and one friend came once after a long session that ended orally. The struggle is real and documented 😉
Thank you, Artemis, for what is probably the most real and honest post about sex I’ve ever seen.
Very true. I rarely have an orgasm just from intercourse, and I sort of don’t believe women who say they do every time. Maybe that’s not fair, and everybody’s different, but I think most women need more direct stimulation.
I don’t think it’s fair to say that women who orgasm every time are lying. I am proof!! But the sad fact is that many women don’t masturbate. That’s how you practice ladies. Why do you think men are better at achieving orgasm? They have the solo thing nailed down 🙂 I taught two of my best friends to orgasm in our early twenties (they had never achieved it before) and now they are rocking it! PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.
@Milaa
You’re right, that wasn’t fair to say. I don’t have a problem with reaching orgasm, just not solely from intercourse. That’s not enough stimulation for me, but we are all different.
Yup. I think a lot of people exaggerate about their sex lives. I have yet to orgasm without clitoral stimulation. I’m also not a talker and I prefer quickies. Different strokes for different folks right? ;D
I’ll say it. I’m a woman in my 30’s and I have never been given the big O. I can give myself one, but nobody have ever given me one. I don’t know why. I told my husband and he was shocked. Not a single one.
Without the help of a vibrator , I can’t reach orgasm. I’ve been with men who either assumed I orgasmed during sex but never asked or men who could have cared less.
Now, I tell men upfront that I need them to use a vibrator on me for me to orgasm and I always pull it out during sex without feeling ashamed. So ya, I am “demanding” an orgasm because otherwise regular sex would leave me very unsatisfied.
You and me both. Very easy for me to do myself, very hard to instruct another person what to do (and I’ve tried). So I just finish it myself. Some men are really displeased with that but well, that’s life.
And I know why it’s hard for me. Because it’s not rhythmical, it changes all the time. Several times a minute. Now if I do it myself, there’s no problem following my body’s urges, but another person has to be told to change rhythm and spot constantly and that doesn’t work.
I always assist with a vibrator and my hubby has been down with it from the beginning. It pays off big time. Both of us want to have a good time and we make sure we do :).
A good friend of mine told me years ago she has never been able to get to orgasm with a partner. She has had a couple long-term relationships so I found it surprising. She said when they guy is done, she gets herself to orgasm but apparently her boyfriend(s) can’t/couldn’t get her there themselves. I think some women have a hard time relaxing and being patient or however they’re positioned isn’t working for them.
A lot of women don’t orgasm during sex. I didn’t for the first 6 years of me doing the deed until I met somebody who finally did it for me.
I am actually shocked that so many women posting here have an O every time. I read somewhere just 2 months ago that about 70% of women can’t have an O/ never had an O, something about where/ how their clitorus is located.
I know for me sometimes the O is just not worth the effort, truth.
Lots of feedback! Very interesting.
I should have been more clear in my original post. I don’t orgasm from intercourse very often at all. But if I’m having sex with a man I expect him to give me an orgasm, oral is the best for me. I’m sorry to hear the different personal accounts and statistics about women who aren’t having orgasms.
If I had sex and didn’t orgasm and my man was done, I would be mad! And I would let him know!!
> If I had sex and didn’t orgasm and my man was done, I would be mad! And I would let him know!!
Life gets in the way of things, I think. If it is just a date with a bf like once a week, with no kids and other obligations I can understand but in married life either you limit sex and have it scheduled so that you can give it all your effort, or you don’t schedule it and then you have to fit in with everything else .)) And you might not have enough time, or not even have an opportunity to give it 100%.
if we’re just talking p in v, as men get older they don’t have stamina anymore to go as long as it takes for the woman to climax. it’s pretty common for me nowadays that my partner finishes and i haven’t. it’s ok, he just has to attend to me afterwards rather than lolling around in post-coital bliss.
Nicki’s really been growing on my lately. I watched an old episode of Graham Norton and she was hysterically funny on that.
I’d totally take orgasm tips from a friend of they actually work; thanks to medication in on, rainbows and fireworks are coming around with decreasing regularity 😓
Your daily dose of TMI, brought to you by Amelia and too many mimosas at brunch 💫
I see nothing wrong with expecting to be satisfied in bed. There are times for me, however, and always have been, that it’s just not going to happen. Just occasionally, and I don’t know why. But that’s ok, too, and I still enjoy the closeness.
*crickets*
Tmi?
nah……not TMI. I’m the same. Sometimes it just won’t happen. Doesnt mean I don’t want to have sex, but if its not going to happen I just tell my DH……..ok……….I’m done.
Yes, it’s like part of my is turned to “off” for now. It’s still pleasurable, but just not happening with the O. Thank you for responding. I was starting to feel like a freak. Lol
Not a freak. Same here.
Me too! And it’s okay with me and sometimes my sweetie doesn’t too. But we have tons of fun and a great time together.
She actually gave sound advice especially about the pay. If you don’t ask you’ll never get your worth.
Maybe things have changed since I jumped off of the corporate hamster wheel, but we were contractually barred from discussing individual pay & compensation packages with other employees or faced termination. Not reprimand or suspension, but termination. I’m so glad to be done with it.
I do think there might be some companies that still enforce it but I believe she’s focusing more so on the idea of not discussing it because it’s not ‘polite’. In this case women trying to appear as if they’re not concerned about how much they’re making get screwed because they’re not discussing it to see how much the company really values them.
Yep, every single multinational I ‘ve worked for stated in the employment agreement that you are not to disclose the salary. It is grounds for termination.
So, I honestly don’t know what Nicki is talking about because her advice can get you fired.
No it’s stuck there but you can find out ranges and figure out what people in your field are being offered with matching backgrounds and then ask for it. However, if you sit quietly you’ll always be underpaid
No it’s stuck there but you can find out ranges and figure out what people in your field are being offered with matching backgrounds and then ask for it. However, if you sit quietly you’ll always be underpaid
Nicki must be so hilarious as a friend! I also like that she insists a lot on education with her teen fanbase. I don’t think she’s ever going to full-on quit music but she’s going to transition to a business woman type like Jay-Z or Dr.Dre.
too bad i have the rule to never follow sex advice in Cosmo.
Oh that’s unfortunate. I got a few really awesome tips from that magazine.
Yeah. Not sure why other sites are reporting this as if it’s odd. “Oh big bad greedy Nicki how dare she demand the same satisfaction as a man!” *pearl clutch*
This is what women should do! It’s what I’ve always done!
Gender equality= orgasms for everyone. Now that’s equal pay for equal work
Haha orgasms for everyone, love it! In my best Oprah voice, YOU get an orgasm, YOU get an orgasm…everybody gets an orgasm!!!
Ha!
For real laughed out loud!
LOL LOVE THIS!
Hahahaha.
men have the big O every time so why shouldn’t women!!! good on ya nicki.
overall, my sex life and relationship are both better after finding the balls to ask for what I want in bed.
My partner never makes me feel greedy or too needy or bossy, which is what I was afraid of at first.
But I try to tell my other friends, too, sex is not all about the male climax, nor does the male climax mean that sex is ‘over’…and if he doesn’t like that, then you have to say that you get to go first 😉
or find a new partner.
I agree. My ex-bf was amazing in bed and the first person who made it his mission for me to orgasm at any cost every time we had sex. When I told my friends about all the fun sexual experiences I was having with him, they were actually surprised and kind of jealous. Many of them have never never truly explored their sexuality and are too afraid to ask. One of my married girlfriends said she was afraid to roleplay even though she badly wanted to because “that’s not what wives too.” And we’re all in our 20s! Trust me, lots of young women really are not getting what their worth in bed.
A lot of women don’t want to speak up or voice their needs because they feel awkward or shy asking or directing, but most men like “talk” and are turned on by it.
HUZZAH Nicki! getting yours in bed shouldn’t be anything more than a given in 2015
I agree with her on climaxing, and I wonder where the hell women get the idea that it’s selfish for us to demand the same pleasure a man expects? I’ve been lucky and have always been able to have an orgasm during sex, but I know quite a few women who don’t and have either given up trying or are too afraid to ask their partners to work harder at it. The idea that women are supposed to be docile or “ladylike” in bed(or any other time for that matter) is bullsh*t, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want ladies!
+100 many women need the help of a toy to reach climax and are too afraid to bring it into the bedroom. Don’t be!
The majority of men are naturally pretty clueless about what turns women on, and all the porn they watch just makes it worse. The fact that so many women fake orgasms drives me insane too. How is a man supposed to realize he’s doing it wrong if she’s faking it?
Anyway, I love Nicki.
thats a good point. i mean men cant naturally know what a woman wants, every women is different but even if not how would they know?
i know plenty of women who cant get themselves off and they are not religious in any way. how the hell would a man know how to satisfy them if they dont even know? and if he tries and she fakes it..well…i think girl friends can be a big help.
What does a woman who can’t get herself off have to do with whether she’s religious?
@BaeonBoard: Some religions put strict limits on the kind of sexuality its members are ‘allowed’ to experience, and that could possibly affect whether or not people are getting off. For example, in addition to their harsh ban on premarital sex (even if you’re engaged and it’s like the day before your wedding) and any sort of homosexuality (so basically people who are gay or bi are stuck pretending that they’re straight), the JW religion bans oral sex (!) and anal sex EVEN AMONG MARRIED PEOPLE, and masturbation is also banned, although I don’t know if that just applies to unmarried people or all people. I learned about this from my friend. I’d probably be like “Bye Bye, Jesus! Bye!” if I had grown up in a religion with those kinds of rules.
Word. I never fake it, it’s such a pointless thing to do. Now that said when I was single if it wasn’t going to happen I wasn’t rude about it but I certainly wouldn’t reward a job badly done.
There are women who physiologically have difficulty climaxing, but barring a physical issue, I was surprised that so many of my peers have never orgasmed. I mean, it’s not 1950 where we can’t even name our own body parts. I just assumed it was common. It’s not. Sad.
Since I am single, the only way I can get the O is with a vibrator – and baby, do the the really good ones work like magic.
BTW, I’ve always assumed that most women do *not* climax through sex with men and that most “get it” with sex toys.
I think some women just reach the point easier. My husband jokes that all he has to do is breathe on me and I’ll orgasm. I thought all women were that way, but I learned all the women in my family are that way, but a lot of women have never had an orgasm. I’m getting a bit graphic here, but I think women reach orgasm easier if the guy goes down on her. I guess the problem lies in some men not liking going down on a woman. I have never been with a man who didn’t like doing that, so I don’t know where these guys are coming from that reject it.
It’s crazy that this is a groundbreaking or “aggressive” position in 2015. I love Nicki for putting it out there though, and Cosmo is the perfect forum for this kind of statement.
She’s right about the money and the orgasm. We’re still learning how to stop pleasing everyone. And no, I don’t like Nicki Minaj at all.
Not usually a Nicki Minaj fan, but she was definitely spot-on both points.
Every woman is so different. I orgasm very easily… I always have several orgasms during sex. I read somewhere that about differences in anatomy making it easier or harder for women to climax and that theory is accurate based on my anatomy and ability to climax. I do think it’s reasonable for women to demand to orgasm during sex (of they are capable of it) whether that means bringing toys in to the bedroom or giving some instructions along the way.
I thought this was pretty normal now. I expect the same. I know from talking to my friends the days of women faking are long over, at least for my generation.
For me, it’s about respect. I don’t like the word ‘demand’ in this context, especially in a committed relationship. My expectation is that we are generally equitable and we tell each other what we need and the other respects that.
But If you’re with someone who only thinks about himself, absolutely let him know that doesn’t work for you.
My husband is very giving in bed, always wants to please, but sometimes it’s just not gonna happen. I think there’s a lot of difference in women’s anatomy . Some women have an easier time than others. However I do feel sorry for the women that have never had one, even on their own.
A little off topic but I’ve learned through experience that whether or not a man cares how satisfied you are says a ton about his character. Never dated someone who didn’t care and turned out to be a decent person. Even if they’re young/clueless good men want to know how to please a woman. The others…not so much.