Duchess Kate made a last-minute cancelation at that weekend wedding

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Over the weekend, the Daily Mail wrote up a very bitchy story about how Duchess Kate and Prince William rarely spend time with their (his) friends these days. The jumping off point for the piece was that William and Kate attended their friends’ weekend wedding and it was the first social event/wedding they had attended in a long time. The DM used the wedding as an excuse to post several anonymous quotes from William’s friends about how “Kate won’t let William out of her sight” and “Kate has been turning down invitations on William’s behalf” and “Kate is controlling and privacy-obsessed” basically. Here’s the thing though: Kate didn’t even attend the weekend wedding. She did allow William out of her sight… sort of. William went to Bear and Daisy’s wedding in South Devon with Pippa Middleton as his plus-one. Kate canceled her appearance so last-minute that Pippa was likely sitting at a seat at the reception that still had a “Duchess of Cambridge” place setting.

Everything was in place for the perfect wedding: the sun was shining on the picture-postcard seaside village, the bride looked beautiful and the future king was there to join the celebrations. There was, however, one guest conspicuous by her absence. I can disclose that the Duchess of Cambridge failed to turn up for the wedding of estate agent Bear Maclean and socialite Daisy Dickson at All Saints Church in Thurlestone, South Devon, at the weekend. The hosts appeared to have been informed so late that Kate’s name was still on the seating plan at the reception in a marquee overlooking the village green.

‘The names William and Catherine Wales were written on the plan, which appeared on an antique-looking mirror,’ a source claims. ‘They were due to sit at the top table. Kate had been expected to attend.’

On Saturday, however, Prince William, who is an old friend of the groom, turned up with his sister-in-law, Pippa Middleton.

‘No one knows why,’ says the source. ‘Everyone was talking about it over breakfast the next morning. They stayed on the next day and night, too, attending lunch in the marquee together. The plan was for everyone to go and do a river estuary swim afterwards.’

It is just the latest in a long line of social events since they had children that Kate has declined to attend with her husband, who said recently he had to run decisions ‘by the missus’. The couple attended dozens of weddings in the run-up to their own nuptials in 2011, but Kate went to none in the two years afterwards. William has been to at least five weddings on his own.

[From The Daily Mail]

You know what I wonder, and yes, I realize that I’m being so gross, but tell me if I’m wrong: was Kate’s cancelation so last minute that Pippa didn’t even get a chance to rent an additional room for the overnight stay? I wonder if Pippa and William stayed in the same room just out of necessity, because everything was booked up and obviously the hosts expected William and his date (his wife) to stay in the same room. Am I being gauche? Of course I’m sure Pippa was able to wrangle another hotel room. Of course she was. Of course Kate probably had much more important things to do… like a blowout, or some shopping. Seriously, Kate hates William’s friends so much.

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Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.

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185 Responses to “Duchess Kate made a last-minute cancelation at that weekend wedding”

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  1. Skyblue says:

    Well…I don’t like Bear and Daisy either…just because their names annoy me and who wants to do an estuary river swim?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I think that’s strange about the swim. You get all dressed up and wear nice jewelry and do your hair and then go swimming? Then what? Go home? I mean, it’s their wedding, but I’ve been to weddings at the beach and by the lake and all that and no one made me go swimming.

      • Ms. Turtle says:

        I read it as the swim was the day after the wedding, after the luncheon? IDK. I don’t think rich ppl are swimming in rivers in their finery. But I could be wrong. They do do things differently!

      • LAK says:

        the swim was scheduled after the luncheon the day after the wedding.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Lol, I didn’t mean they went swimming in their clothes. And it’s none of my business, maybe they are great water lovers. I just meant after I went to all that trouble to get ready, it would not be my choice to go swimming. But then, I wasn’t invited.

        ETA – oh, thanks, LAK, that makes more sense.

  2. Loopy says:

    What I think is that Kate has a 2 year old and an infant, maybe something happened in that regard. Wow the DM is on fire!

    • BeBeA says:

      Thank you I was thinking the same thing. When you have kids stuff comes up. Also maybe she just wasn’t feeling it. What ever get over it .

      • sensible says:

        Yep, the kids could be sick, she may find these weddings of his friends from olden days boring (I can relate) she may have social anxieties. How about this, what if Carole described how this life would be for Kate and it was super different to how it actually is to be a public figure? What if what they all REALLY wanted was a private billionaire but didnt know it? And a private life is all she wants now she is older . She May have made a mistake facilitated by her mother.

    • NorthernGirl_20 says:

      Yes

    • Malificent says:

      That’s what I thought. Nasty case of mastitis…. Newborn who spikes one of those inexplicable high fevers…. Toddler with some gnarly virus and a terrible case of the trots…. I’m not a Kate apologist, but a whole lot of things around two little ones can keep a parent at home on no notice. And if she left a sick kid at home with the nanny, we’d damn her for being a lousy, over-privileged mom.

      • LAK says:

        there is a huge assumption here that a Kate is one of us. yes i recognise that she’s human, but she’s also royal. That means whatever normal worries associated with her being a new mother with 2 kids under 2, the royal status of all 3 will bring different treatment and indeed looks very different from anything regular people experience.

        IF kate or the babies are unwell, it is treated as a national emergency. that’s the standard protocol for royals. Her illnesses are not treated in the same way as your illnesses.

        And there is always a news blackout for such events unless it is life threatening enough for them to go to a hospital where they will be seen by the top medical professionals in the land. we would never know if the babies were ill.

        Further, the woman has STAFF. even if she is doing more work than her night nurse and norland trained nanny and Carole, the everyday mundane activities that would be an extra burden are non existent. for her and the babies.

        in other words, her existence is similar to living at the 5 star+ hotel with a very accommodating hotel manager who is able to cater for any desires.

      • K says:

        When my eldest was 8 months old, we went to Paris for a long weekend. 5 star hotel. And my God, is it easy being a parent when you have room service, laundry service, maid service and no responsibilities. We didn’t even have a nanny, but we did have the two of us on hand. Such a different experience.

        I don’t envy her anything else, but I do the staff.

      • LAK says:

        K: Exactly.

        Add to that on-call medical service for any and all ailments 24/7 and frankly who needs a nanny.

        Even the shopping (food or clothing or any human desire) is brought to you if you so desire.

        And no worries about paying for any of it.

        This is what people ignore about Kate’s life.

    • Maia says:

      Something pretty extreme would have to happen to cancel a wedding rsvp at the last minute. Or maybe not. She is after all quite a special snowflake. Maybe George sneezed a few times.

      • LAK says:

        She has a pattern of last minute cancellations without giving cause. before and after the wedding.

      • Lucky Charm says:

        I understood that she did go to Devin, but for some reason declined to attend the wedding and festivities while she was there. A great way to have a mini-vacation away from the house and kids, and still close enough to keep an eye on her husband. Of course it’s entirely possible I’m way off base here and just misunderstood.

      • MinnFinn says:

        Lucky Charm – I also read that Kate was in Devon but I can’t find that article again. I thought it was in the DM. I did find a twitter post of someone who saw W & K get off her train on Friday. https://twitter.com/derrylol/status/632159986320338944

      • notasugarhere says:

        Maybe she mistook Pippa for Kate?

    • notasugarhere says:

      Bringing over from other thread. They don’t always give excuses when she fails to show up for public events. They’re not going to give an excuse / reason for a private event.

      IF one of the kids were sick and she wanted to attend the wedding anyway, she’d attend. No one would know one of kids was home sick unless W&K shared that info. And they won’t.

      • notasugarhere says:

        LAK, you make a very good point. The ambulance in Bucklebury reserved for her. The on-call ambulance in NYC. Her snowflake health is always protected. She throws up once and she has HG.

        We’ve never seen that with either of the kids though. Have we ever heard of one of them having any illness? So the services are there and constantly on-call, but I’d argue William’s privacy obsession means it is all done under cover of utmost secrecy when the kids are involved. W&K can move about and live in completely privacy with the funding they have. I can see him extending that shroud of secrecy to the kids.

    • Dena says:

      How would that be a problem for Kate when Carole handles everything?

    • Kelly says:

      Serious question (I am no Kate fan), I had postpartum BAD and this is the kind of thing I did. Back out of stuff at the last minute.

      Edit: realized I didn’t actually ask a question. Does anyone think she might be suffering from it? It’s a bitch and it doesn’t care who you are or how much money/staff you have.

      • FLORC says:

        Kelly
        I’m skeptical of that, but no one can know. Because of that i’d rather not speculate. It’s a serious condition for a great number of reasons and shouldn’t be considered as a possibility to avoid a wedding event, but not several “fun” events.

      • Nikki says:

        She could have depression or anxiety; I know I would if the world scrutinized my every move!

    • Katydid20 says:

      Thank goodness she has kids, otherwise she wouldn’t have a non-existant excuse whenever she didn’t want to show up to something.

  3. Crumpet says:

    Her cheeks are so amazingly PINK! Yeah, that’s all I got. Why these boring average looking people are so famous is beyond me.

    • Maia says:

      She was flushing because Charlotte was crying. It’s not all blush, I think.

    • FLORC says:

      The photos are using filters. Helps certain tones to become more vivid. Even the backrounds frame to frame when looking at all shots change tone.

  4. mollie says:

    Or maybe one of their two young children was sick and she needed to stay home.

    • Megan says:

      That was my thought, too.

      • zimmer says:

        I find it weird the report is everyone was talking about it, but no one just asked why she didn’t come. Also, is Kate’s absence just a diversion from the real issue which is William took time off from work for this or was he not on schedule?

      • notasugarhere says:

        These people are supposed to be their friends. At no point during these events did William explain his wife’s absence? That is incredibly rude.

      • Jenna says:

        Maybe they told the couple and then asked that the reason be kept private from other guests? Say Kate does have a bad case of mastitis…is that something you really want getting out and being splashed around in the tabloids? Likewise, if it’s PPD, I wouldn’t want the Daily Fail picking me apart for that either.

        I think these two are incredibly lazy but I really don’t think this is a huge deal, certainly nothing relative to their total lack of royal work. They have a new baby and a toddler. Even with help, if they’re trying to be hands-on parents there is a lot to get used to there.

      • Maia says:

        Jenna, how would she be breastfeeding if she rsvp-ed yes to a weekend long wedding? She was leaving behind the child. Obviously she is not breastfeeding and has not been for a long time. Probably she did not nurse at all for this one.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Maia, as you said in another place, 6-8 hours at Wimbledon? Nobody made any mention of her leaving her seat for an extended time (like to pump). In a dress with a zipper down the back and Rebecca needing to 1) unzip her and 2) haul around the pumping equipment. Somebody would have noticed.

      • Maia says:

        @nota: yes. Exactly. So I can’t help wonder why she would not breastfeed her second child. One reason comes to mind knowing her extreme vanity.
        What exactly goes on in that household? With an army of staff what does she do all day. What does William do all day?
        You know, maybe there is some truth to what you guys say about their marriage not being what it seems on the surface. I can see why people would start wondering.

      • FLORC says:

        Careful Maia! Youre 1 sip of kool aid away from your own tinfoil wiglet 😉

      • notasugarhere says:

        FLORC, may I please claim Sweden’s Steel Cut Tiara as my version of a tinfoil hat? I promise to share it with ArtHistorian and Liberty.

      • Jenna says:

        Look, my point was not really that she HAS to have mastitis, more that maybe she (or Will) wanted her reason for cancellation to remain private from the media. There could be plenty of justifiable reasons for that, some related to BFing, but plenty not. It was in response to the comment that it was “so rude” of them not to tell people what the reason was. Maybe they did tell…the people they could trust NOT to open their mouths to the Daily Fail.

        I really don’t care whether she is breastfeeding or not. If she is not, I doubt it is vanity, as she lost the weight with George pretty quickly and reportedly breastfed him.

      • notasugarhere says:

        William has been known to lie, then he tracks which friend leaks and cuts them off. All he had to do is lie and give a basic excuse. Instead, guests at the wedding seem to have been openly wondering why he spent 2 days away from his wife and kids with no explanation for her last-minute no show.

        Stopping breastfeeding can be related to vanity. Not because of weight, but because of the impact of breastfeeding on the tissues of the breast. See Giselle’s not-so-secret plastic surgery recently.

      • FLORC says:

        Nota
        http://orderofsplendor.blogspot.com/2011/08/tiara-thursday-cut-steel-tiara.html
        If you get to have your own tiara then we all should!!! Noble members of The Wiglet Watch! Go pick out your favorite Tiara and they will be our new tinfoil hats! The reception for wacky theories might improve and they seem sturdier than aluminum foil… Really, I was getting tired of losing mine to the wind in the wiglet wagon. The light weight and how it tears holes when fastening with bobby pins was not practical.

        So, Great Idea Nota!

      • Maia says:

        Florc: bring on the tinfoil wiglets I say.
        Jenna: the decision not to breastfeed is absolutely related to vanity. Breast tissue disappears almost overnight after you stop. IThings typically do not look very attractive in that area and many women opt for reconstructive surgery. Women who are A or B cups sadly suffer the worst.

      • FLORC says:

        Maia
        Love it!

        Nota
        I can’t decide between The fife, Poltimore, or the Spencer Tiaras. All are so damn lovely! How do you choose?! #firstworldproblems

      • Mary-Alice says:

        Oh, is this the mommy judging thread? You do realize that breastfeeding, likemany other things, is a matter of choice, right? I did not breastfeed a single day, I chose so, and I am perfectly happy with my choice. I was also lucky enough to have a remarkable OB who didn’t brainwash me but listened to me and answered all my many questions re:breastfeeding. If she chose not to breastfeed for whatever reasons that’s no one else’s business.

      • IfUSaySo says:

        MAIA- there are many reason why women stop bfing and you simply cannot claim that “vanity” is absolutely one of them. That is a rude and disrespectful statement. Support fellow women and don’t try to feel superior by trashing their choices.

      • LAK says:

        Florc: dibs on the Strathmore Rose tiara. And the teck crescent tiara for seconds.

      • Maia says:

        Mary-Alice, where did I judge her. I pointed out with others that she did not nurse. Have you seen me use any judgy words anywhere? Perhaps you can not take things personally eh? Gossip site … anonymous … and all that.
        IfUSaySo Of course vanity is one of the reasons women *choose* to give their children formula. And of course I can say that. It is not rude and not disrespectful. It is a fact. I am sure that there may be other reasons women *choose* to not breastfeed – in fact feel free to name some other reasons if you wish. But vanity is definitely one of the reasons. I did not judge her on that, though – mind you. Oh and in case you miss it I am not using cases where they are *unable* but where they *choose*.

        Mainly I am pointing out that 1. Kate did not nurse 2. Vanity may have been *one* of the reasons she did not.
        It seems that the two of you need some basic lessons in logical reasonining eh ? Just jumping up and down all mad at someone is not going to further your cause. Your indignation comes across loud and clear but your logic, not.

      • Vava says:

        As far as the tiaras go, I’ll take that one that Mary in Denmark wears, the floral modern one with the rubies. 😀

      • notasugarhere says:

        ArtHistorian and I might have a duel, over both the Steel Cut and CP Mary’s Midnight Tiara.

      • FLORC says:

        LAK
        That one is LOVELY! I just know I couldn’t pull it off. Stunning choice!

        Nota
        The midnight tiara is so unique. The whole design is so perfectly assembled.

        Vava
        The Danish Ruby Parure Tiara is another unique style I couldn’t pull off. Georgeous though.

        Maia
        I see you logically sstating a point and having to defend it… Welcome! Choose your Tiara Marchioness Maia! Viscountess Vava and Lady LAK have chosen theirs. Baroness Bluhare and Archduchess ArtHistorian have yet to choose theres.

  5. Elisa the I. says:

    Pippa’s outfit looks fab! I would totally wear that to a wedding.

    • Tough Cookie says:

      But that HAIR. Both she and Kate look so nice when they style their hair, especially with hats. And jewelry.

  6. kri says:

    Unless she was horribly ill, or one of the kids was sick,that was truly rude. Maybe she’s too busy with swatches?

  7. Grace says:

    An anti-climate rant. And I admit I don’t follow what the royals do unless it’s screaming to my face on the front page of a newspaper. But really, with everything that’s going on in the world, why do we care (or not) whether this woman is going to a wedding (or not)?

    • Brunswickstoval says:

      Completely agree. And most people inviting a guest who has just had a baby should be pretty understanding of the fact that they might not be able to attend at the last minute. How is this even news? Oh wait it’s not it’s the DM.

    • Annie says:

      You’re on a gossip site, Grace. If you think it’s wrong to care at all, go to a news site where you can discuss “everything that is going on in the world.” Like, why click on this story and read it, and stay long enough to comment? You make no sense.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Thank you Annie. As the tagline reads, “Escapism can be smart.” Everyone needs the chance to unplug from the horrors of the world sometimes. Gossip snark can be that outlet for some.

      • LAK says:

        i for one really need the escape. i can’t cope with current affairs at the moment. Personal friends in peril and all that. i need the distraction of CB right now.

      • Liberty says:

        @LAK, precisely.

      • FLORC says:

        Exactly all. And when some topics (Cosby/Kelly) become less fun and more serious or ragey I back away. nBecause it should be kept light and not making my blood boil.

  8. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Could she be pregnant again? I think it’s very rude to be a no-show at a wedding when you have accepted the invitation. And I assume Pippa was invited? Or did he just show up with her to fill the seat? Odd.

    • ladyg says:

      Pippa does go to all these things, so yeah, my guess is that she was already invited, and maybe just swapped seats or something?

    • NorthernGirl_20 says:

      Maybe one of her two young children were sick? When my kids are sick you couldn’t drag me away from them ..

    • IfUSaySo says:

      Rude or not, if something is the matter with your kids (sick etc) you’re not going to go. If anyone faults you for that then they are nuts.

      • notasugarhere says:

        It wouldn’t be rude to cancel if one of the kids was sick. It would be rude to cancel and not explain why. These people are supposed to be their friends. Some simple etiquette could have been applied.

    • FLORC says:

      GNAT
      It’s possible. Though it would be early. Kate has shown she is fine until later in the 1st trimester. The the morning sickness hits and ends early in the 2nd trimester if it makes it that far at all.

  9. Wooley says:

    Who knows how Williams friends have treated her in the past? Maybe now she’d prefer to spend time with her children

    • DTX says:

      I agree! There are maybe one or two friends of my hubby that I can’t stand! In fact, my hubby tried to RSVP for us both to one of their weddings to strong arm me into going. He went alone and I had zero f*cks to give about etiquette for that douchebag’s wedding. Hubby went and came home early to make nice with me.

      Just for the record, I have very good reason to hate the guy, he truly crossed the line with me when he unsuccessfully tried to talk my hubby out of marrying me (and dump me instead!) so that he could take him as a wingman for a trip with some skank he met & her friend. Grrrrrrr….

      • FLORC says:

        Should an invite come in from a couple I don’t care for I don’t RSVP i’m coming when I don’t want to go.

        Wooley
        They’ve treated her terribly, but they were William’s friends so she always put in an effort for him. Now she doesn’t have to.

        DTX that sounds horrible.

  10. bettyrose says:

    Kate hates Will’s friends enough to bail but doesn’t trust him alone with them. How long was Pippa waiting for the call to fill in as Kate’s eyes & ears? Did Pippa cancel plans to be on call for this?

  11. Olenna says:

    Pippa needs a new hair style. The DM pic shows the same lank look as the older one above. She could use a stylist, too.

  12. Ms. Turtle says:

    Unfortunately, I’ve had to cancel last minute on events when one of my children was very ill. Devon is far enough from Norfolk; it’s not down the road. The DM makes it sound like Pippa was hanging out with her fancy frock and fascinator, waiting in the wings for a wedding emergency. Likely, she was also invited. Just a hunch.

  13. Talie says:

    Kate’s just delivering payback to people who screwed her over, clearly.

    • wolfie says:

      She does not appear gracious, at all. I would have believed from the traps she set for Willy, that she would have worked harder to look, at least a little like Diana. She said at her engagement interview that Diana was inspirational, but clearly, she is closing the doors on us. She doesn’t want us to know her – who is she not liking, the public, or herself? She seems merely an impostor, and very spoiled and stubborn, but then, so does William. Perhaps William is taking his inspiration from history, and feels because he is going to be king, he can do anything he wants. They both seem to be playing that card righteously, and appear immensely sure of themselves.

      • notasugarhere says:

        It is kind of you to assume that there is more to her than this. Or to him. I think she’s generally pretty content working out, shopping, going to the hairdresser. In the 10 years prior, it is clear her only true interest was The Prince. I’m not sure there’s much more to know about her than that.

      • DTX says:

        She doesn’t have to be an open book for public consumption just because you want her to. And just because Diana was “inspirational” to her doesn’t mean she has to give herself up to be just like her, that’s completely insane to expect of anyone. “She is closing the doors on us” <======= that quote worries me, as it seems to imply that you feel you have the right to know all her business, which you don't.

        I would assume that for someone to cancel at the 11th hour like that, it would likely be a case of a personal/private matter and not assume that they are just being rude. I bet William likely sent her regrets to the bride and groom in person at the event. NBD, it happens.

      • FLORC says:

        DTX
        It’s a part of their job to bring in Goodwill. All these stories of wanting to be normal and middleclass are to get us to think we know them and can relate. So, it’s not unreasonable to think we should “know them/just like us”. And their causes. We’re told they care and it impacts them deeply. Yet we see no follow through. Only told things with contrary actions. Knowing them and liking them brings in Goodwill. They need to be known and liked. It’s part of the trade off.
        At the very least she has to portray an image of someone who has interest in improving her nation/commonwealth or the quality of life for those within it. Her only image that sticks is a very private shopper who avoids work, but not vacations.

        And Kate has shown a heavy pattern of cancelling last minute then gets papped shopping or hair salon all day. Just saying there is a strong pattern supporting it might not be anything major.

      • Olenna says:

        Well said, Wolfie. The key word is gracious. This goes back to her upbringing. Being pushed constantly to achieve and be competitive in sports, friendships and intimate relationships left no time for real character building. That’s why I side-eye any suggestion that Carole thinks she can help rear George to become a leader of any merit.

  14. Maybe Kate has postpartum depression issues?! I feel like in this one case she gets a freaking pass! She JUST had a baby a few months ago. Sheesh. I’m 9 months pregnant now and can’t imagine just jumping back into social life. Lol. In all seriousness I had a great friend suffer with that for the first 6 months of babies life. Granted we are regular ‘janes’ but still. She gets a pass with an infant at home in my book. She honestly should have never RSVPed yes if there was a chance of her not going.

    • wolfie says:

      Mum’s enjoy their days off – she went to the Maldives, and left their infant George with her mother. Apparently now, her glory days are when she’s shopping or grooming. She has been seen shopping when William was attending the wedding of one of his friends. She is clearly sending a message that has nothing to do with babies.

    • FLORC says:

      There’s a line that should be drawn. So many extremes to justify actions. PPD is incredibly serious. Kate cancels a wedding trip last minute? PPD. It’s the only thing she’s cancelled really besides the expected few events she marks down. And that’s been behavior pre babies.

      It’s imo awful the lengths taken and instances that might negate these assumptions unmentioned to excuse what could simply be someone’s rudeness in cancelling last minute.
      PPD is not something that should be so carelessly casted about.
      Sitting in my armchair we have 1 cancelled wedding invite to William’s friends we know Kate doesn’t like. And what else?

      EDIT: Plese excuse my snarky tone.

  15. LAK says:

    a different thought today.

    William is often away from the family unit doing stuff on his own or with friends. the media generally doesn’t comment though twitter always does. the DM is very aware of his schedule even if he thinks he is being secretive. So the fact that they ran two articles on the same story might just be their way of pointing out that the marriage is in trouble. All the little details eg this wedding was a couple of days away from his family, not just an afternoon + evening, the repeated emphasis on Kate and his friends not really getting along, even the sexist ‘she’s henpecking him’ detail.

    and of course the emphasis is still ‘William the party boy who drinks to excess’ nevermind his wife and kids.

    thoughts?

    • Ms. Turtle says:

      I think it was you who said on yesterday’s post that the attack wasn’t on Kate but on William. I think I agree. Also, let’s say Charlotte was ill and that is why Kate didn’t end up going. What does it say about him that he not only went to the wedding (fine, you committed, go) but STAYED another full day and night?? If your wife stayed home to care for an ill child, you should probably excuse yourself from the next-day luncheon and river swim.

      • notasugarhere says:

        And as I wrote above, these are supposed to be their friends. Even if they are only HIS friends, he doesn’t explain his wife’s absence? That is rude.

      • LAK says:

        Ms Turtle: exactly.

        that extra detail of the number of days of this wedding makes you really wonder.

        most commentors here are speculating that perhaps kate stayed home due to post partum reasons or even sick babies, BUT if that is the case, why did William stay so long at this wedding?? not just hours, but days.

        Nota: maybe the friends know the deal?

      • notasugarhere says:

        Similar to the “oh we cannot bear to be parted when William is in the Falklands” storyline. He then chose to stay away an extra week but that wasn’t mentioned. Ditto her comments about him being away a lot for the first 6 months of PGTips, when we knew he wasn’t working more than 2-3 days a week. So where was he? Obliging press tends to hide those things. Hacked off press doesn’t.

        Maybe the friends were so happy to see she canceled that they didn’t care? As someone pointed out yesterday, it isn’t snobbery. Pippa is just as much a Wisteria Sister, but she appears to be openly welcomed by many of them.

      • FLORC says:

        Nota/LAK
        That Falklands extra week was odd. They were newlyweds and he “dismissed” Kate to spend another week without her? Nothing of that was explained. That maybe she had stuff to do hitting the ground running or nesting. Or that he had some charity or royal related stuff to do there.

        Regarding Pippa being accepted. This makes me think back to Kate’s cousin saying in Kate’s defense she just has a problem with small talk and finding what others say interesting. Maybe Kate is just that odd one out focusing too hard on her appearance and accent? Where Pippa is more natural overall?

        I’m wondering if the press keeps these stories and tones coming evenly or will they rise? Will William and KP push back with more threats? Or will they offer an olive branch for a cease fire? Clearly the press is ticked off.

      • Tanya S says:

        I think that they either had a huge fight and Kate refused to go to the wedding. OR now that she has produced the heir and spare she really doesn’t give a toss who she p*sses off.

        She thinks that she is untouchable. If the kids were sick Ma Mids would have been there to deal with it. Kate would not be able to deal with it.

    • frisbee says:

      Yeah I agree with you, that’s a really good reason for whatever it is the DM are transmitting. I think there is some information behind these stories they are trying to get across without coming straight out and saying it because, well it’s a British Tab (and Brits past masters at saying one thing whilst hinting heavily at another) and also they don’t want to burn all of their bridges regarding the BRF, they still sell copy, get clicks. But yeah I can see that marriage being in trouble. Charles and Diana’s marriage is said to have really hit the skids after Harry was born at which point Charles “simply lost interest”, wondering if history is just repeating itself? Dropping out of a wedding at such short notice – and without a good reason such as illness – is such a screamingly obvious snub to Williams friends – as if there’s some punishment going on. If the children or Kate were ill wouldn’t it make good PR sense to point that out?

    • Betti says:

      I wouldn’t be surprised if it is – I’ve always thought it would go the same way as his parents. Either way she’s set for life and will keep the title(s) until he remarries. I’m not sure if she is pregnant again thou wouldn’t be surprised – anything to get out of doing any royal duties.

      It could be that they are not adjusting very well to having small children and its putting extra strain on an already fractious relationship (with Carole being the only one who can keep it going hence her continued presence). They are both very child like, Kate in particular and both have always put his needs before anything else. With 2 demanding young children its going to be hard to change behavioural patterns that put them first.

      Either that or there are ‘issues’ with her – whether its related to mental health or she’s just stopped making the effort with his friends cause she doesn’t like them, only time will tell. Am sure at some points his friends will start talking to the press.

    • notasugarhere says:

      With Jason out flogging the “William saved somebody (except he’s the co-pilot and the gentleman passed away)” story? They’re trying to counter more than the photo rant letter.

    • Liberty says:

      I am in agreement with you, LAK. This is like… a trail of hinty breadcrumbs.

      • Vava says:

        I also agree. I think they had a fight and she decided she didn’t want to go to the wedding weekend with her asshole husband.

      • MinnFinn says:

        Liberty – Sounds right to me.

        Vava – Someone on twitter said they saw W & K together get off her train on Fri. Kate was in Devon and I bet you’re right they had a fight Saturday morning and she stayed at the hotel pouting.

        And wasn’t it a fight that reportedly caused them to not show up at Carole’s big Mustique birthday party too?

      • bluhare says:

        Hinty breadcrumbs!! Hahahaha!

      • FLORC says:

        MinnFinn
        What were they doing in Devon? No kiddies?
        And all couples fight so it’s not wrong to assume they do too. As I tell FMORC. “I’m mad, I still love you, but right now I don’t like you.” Just a part of living with the same wonderful person day in and day out 😀
        And I adore him. So all couples will fight. Spending a night away though? I don’t understand that, but it might work for them.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Are we sure that person saw Kate and not Pippa? If you saw a bunch of RPOs, William, and a heavily-made up woman with a bunch of brown hair flying all over her face, it would be easy to assume it was Kate. You’d leap to the conclusion that it was Kate, because why would he be with his sister-in-law? Pippa could have been mistaken for her sister, especially from a distance by someone who doesn’t watch them closely.

    • L says:

      I find the whole “kate doesn’t let him out of her sight” to be complete BS when we all KNOW that William has gone to weddings/events/etc without her. Didn’t he go to that wedding in SC from that one friend alone? We know from twitter he goes out alone. We know from actual events that he’s gone to them alone.

      This smells of revenge for that whole ‘leave george alone’ letter that went out. Yes she has staff, but two young kids at home? I’m sure one of them got sick or had something come up. And just because she went to Wimbledon and then the yachting event doesn’t mean the kids didn’t get sick now. The fact that it was a very last minute cancellation leads in that direction.

      If anything, I’m giving William and Pippa a side eye for showing up. Now THAT is weird.

      • LAK says:

        Pippa has too much pep for William.

        And William likes em wild, which isn’t Pippa despite the aforementioned pep.

      • bluhare says:

        Really, LAK. So Kate’s got a wild streak underneath? I wish we’d see it sometimes.

      • Vava says:

        LOL…………Kate wild? She does get those crazy laughs going when she out in public like a hyena. But wild???

  16. ladyg says:

    That Kate allegedly doesn’t get on with William’s friends is something I think I like about her. To me, William seems like the WORST. A royal frat-boy monster. Always with that smug face. Can you imagine being in a room filled with a bunch of people that William actually likes!? Imagine! I couldn’t do it.

    Now, of course she shouldn’t have accepted if she wasn’t planning on attending. But I get a wicked little thrill thinking that maybe Daisy and Bear were two of the people who picked on Kate ‘s background in the past, and now that Kate is an HRH (and Bear and Daisy were probably bragging about both of them showing up to THEIR wedding), she accepted, then no-showed, as a power play. Which, in a way, would be kinda badass.

    • Eleonor says:

      I sooo agree with you.

    • notasugarhere says:

      If they only invited her because they had to, her not showing up would make everybody happier. They’re not going to care that she cancelled, it doesn’t affect their social standing with William (who is the one that matters in the hierarchy of things).

    • wolfie says:

      Not playing the game that she chose (William – head of a hierarchical system for the 1%) just makes her look weak, not badass IMO.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Or it makes her Hyacinth Bucket Syndrome more obvious. She got what she wanted, pampered high-status life off of someone else’s money.

    • Guesto says:

      @Ladyg – I like your theory!

      Agree re William. I think he must be a serious pain in the arse to live with. If he were a less petulant, less selfish, more mature, more rounded person, I think Kate would behave very differently. I put most of how she is down to him.

    • Giddy says:

      Would they maybe be relieved that Kate didn’t come, and therefore did not take all attention off the bride? It would be hard to share, or give up, the spotlight on your wedding day.

    • DTX says:

      @ Ladyg

      I think it’s kinda badass too! I just did the same thing a few weeks ago, but in my defense hubby tried to be slick and RSVP both of us without asking me first to force me to go. He told me like 2 days before and I promptly made him go solo. Still don’t feel bad. I hate the groom.

    • MinnFinn says:

      Ladyg? If that is what happened, it is the opposite of badass. It’s passive-aggressive which is motivated by cowardice. I fail to see how anyone could condone or admire passive-aggressive behavior.

      • FLORC says:

        Would be badass if she showed up anyways. That would take some plums.

      • BearcatLawyer says:

        I tend to agree. I think a true badass would have shown up as planned and either a) behaved as one would expect a duchess/the future Queen to behave or b) subtly upstaged the happy couple with knockout outfits and well-placed/timed yet not too overtly bitchy comments (e.g., “Their cake is just gorgeous. It’s amazing what bakers can do with only four tiers!”).

        It does sound like his friends did not care for her and judged her as a clingy social climber, but ultimately she got her prince and title. She should pretend not to notice all the BS his friends might say/do but subtly and politely remind them at every possible opportunity of the differences in their positions. For example, when she is with William she is not merely a duchess but the spouse of a future king and his lower-ranking buddies ought to curtsy to her. No one could fault her if she and William expected these courtesies befitting their rank and effectively forced his obnoxious pals to show her some deference.

        Instead Kate comes across as petty, passive aggressive, and insecure for skipping out on social events like this or worse still, getting her sister to fill in for her at the last minute. She may have had totally legit reasons for not being able to go (sudden food poisoning, sick child, unexpected death in the family, blah blah blah), but she makes herself look bad by not explaining her absence and letting the Daily Mail fill in the blanks for her.

      • FLORC says:

        “Only Four Tiers” I’m laughing over here Bearcat!

        There’s much to be said with keeping your friends/enemies close/closer. She could form at least 1 alliance in that group. To isolate isn’t wise in the long game.

      • Liberty says:

        MinnFinn, I tend to agree. She’s in a public role and IMO, she traded in her visible public-aggressive rights when she scooped all she could out of the buttons, gowns, tiaras and days-off basket.

        BearCat, like FLORC, I’m here honking over “can do with only four tiers!”

  17. Jaded says:

    I don’t think there’s a great deal of love lost between Will’s friends and Kate, and she’ll inevitably choose to avoid social engagements with them – “Oh sorry, gotta rearrange my sock drawer!” They sound like a bunch of upper class twits that still look down at her like she’s a ‘parvenu’ even though she bagged the big one.

    • wolfie says:

      That’s what the upper crust does, they love to look down upon – she can’t change that. She should play nice, because this is the system that she chose to become a part of.

      • Jaded says:

        Avoidance and running to mummy seem to be her only ways of dealing with anything to do with work or socializing.

    • notasugarhere says:

      They welcome Pippa. It appears it is Kate they don’t like, not the Middleton roots.

      • Betti says:

        Yes i get that as well – Pippa has been as well as these 2 to a few of his friends weddings so it must be that there is something more going on with Kate specifically.

        We only know that Wills treated her badly as a GF by maybe she retaliated in some way by digging at his friends – many of whom are very very close him.

      • Liberty says:

        Nota, again, interesting theory, and it seems to make sense — similar launchpads but different trajectories with one’s heavily pushed “destiny” and the other’s relative freedom.

  18. Kate says:

    Eh, if William’s friends really did make fun of her for having a former flight attendant for a mother, I guess I understand her distaste for them. I do find Kate odd, though. Why try so hard to nab the future king if you’re so obsessed with living a totally private life?

    • Guesto says:

      I think she must have imagined a very different life than the issue-riddled one she’s ended up with.

  19. seesittellsit says:

    Pippa must have loved that- she could pretend to be the one who snagged royalty.

    • Anne says:

      I know we’re supposed to be impressed by it all, but, God, I don’t see William as a prize.

      For me, much of the impressiveness of royalty has gone with these two and the way they conduct themselves. I don’t see much to admire in either of them. It’s a farce.

  20. IfUSaySo says:

    It’s like nobody at the DM has kids or even understand how normal people act.. I’m sure her kids aren’t feeling well or she is simply exhausted and wants to be with her children. Kids get you out of so many annoying social engagements that you really do not want to attend!

    • notasugarhere says:

      For your husband to fail to explain that to your hosts? That is rude.

      • FLORC says:

        He could have lied at the very least. Not feeling well would work.
        People would be snarky, but saying nothing? That leaves the doors wide open to assume anything. No reason is far worse imo. Also, it runs along cancelling just because or not even bothering to think of something.

        I’ve sent FMORC alone to weddings because of migraines I get before thunderstorms. He went and didn’t explain my absence. I was mortified!
        Now i’m botoxed and it really is a great treatment.

      • original kay says:

        FLORC

        I too get migraines before storms, the latest one had the new added bonus of vertigo. It’s lifting now but it’s been a dreadful 24 hours, barely able to move my head without the floor rushing to meet my face 🙁
        I have not heard of botox for migraines though, did you just go to the family doctor to find out about it?

        thanks 🙂

      • FLORC says:

        Original Kay
        I”ve had a family history of migraines. You can go to your primary care doctor and they can do some basic tests, but that’s when you have a migraine and it’s not fun. If degree and frequency hit the right markers you go to a specialist. about 2 years ago Botox was recommended for me. It’s some in the upper part of the face and the rest all around your head in your scalp. It’s enough to stop the pain and adds a difference to my face taht i’m use to now, but hating right off. Every 6 months I get a treatment.

        What you and I have before storms are barometric migraines and they suck! I’ve always felt them about 3 or 2 days before a storm. When it hits instant relief! I’ve also had migraines without oncoming storms. If they’re bad enough and frequent enough I think it’s a miracle treatment.

        The vertigo and light sens… My heart goes out to you. It’s a truly awful condition to be in that much pain and unable to function.

      • IfUSaySo says:

        The DM is a notorious piece of trash. No one knows for sure if William spoke privately to the hosts and explained the situation. Maybe everyone is fine w/it. Maybe they didn’t immediately race to DM with the details of a potential medical issue Kate or the kids had. Maybe it’s not something the hosts saw fit to leak to the comments sections..

      • FLORC says:

        IfUSaySo
        It is and it isn’t. The print version is far more credible. And they do have their sources and decent journalist. This isn’t the majority ofcourse, but they’ve had contributors from Tatler and Hello who by no secret are close with palace sources.
        This story though? Like most DMOnline it’s burying the lead and passively slipping in the real dirty. These stories aren’t about Kate. They’re attacking (passively) William.

    • Tough Cookie says:

      Thank goodness the kids were well enough for her to attend Wimbledon and that yacht thing.

    • SnarkGirl says:

      That might be a fine excuse for most, but this chick is married to the future King of England, so the standards for what is acceptable behavior are set a whole lot higher.

      I’m sure the Queen is *not* impressed by the Duchess’ behavior.

    • Jaded says:

      She’s not normal people, and she has a huge number of staff plus her mother to look after her every need, including dealing with a kid with the sniffles. No, it’s avoidance plain and simple, and it’s rude. Sure William’s crowd may not be part of her fan club, and think she’s an impediment and lacking in background and brains. But she needs to step up her game if she wants to gain some admiration and respect. Instead she retreats to the bosom of her family and the simple comforts of retail therapy, hairdressers, vacations and workouts.

      She will never amount to anything worthy of note, despite the opportunities she has to expand her horizons, by actually doing some real work.

      • FLORC says:

        Jaded
        It’s such a peeve of mine that people will jump to extreme medical conditions. Or infantizing the mental capablity. Or cherry picking instances to support theories. Only to justify what might simply be rude behavior for an adult.
        This is also generally speaking. I always pick up on it when in conversation and am always shocked by it.
        Working in the medical field doesn’t help. I might be exposed greater to it.

  21. Citresse says:

    Maybe she’s pregnant again?

  22. Dena says:

    I smell a back story. Where is Liberty? I can hear Kate with her faux upper class British accent telling William “your friends constantly ridicule and belittle me. You allow it and have allowed it for years. You have even laughed with them. I am not going. I am never going and there is nothing you can do (as she flashes Big Blue). William, in turn, grits his back teeth & and replies “fine, I will take Pipa. Unlike you, she is a still a desperately ruthless social climber. Come, Carole. Let’s go inform Pippa that she is to accompany me tomorrow.” Carole then looks over her shoulder at Kate, not quite sympathetically, as she leaves with her __________.😊

    • Liberty says:

      Hi Dena! wrote one, but can’t get ’em posted here today on the threads, so I just store them, sorry. Anyway! My theory is: a planned Mids last-gasp push to get Pippa back out there for her shot at the next gold ginger-crusted ring, masterminded by Mrs M, who knows Willy’s willing to go along with anything that isn’t too much bother and he asks no questions!

      • FLORC says:

        Lol Liberty!
        I’m enjoying this short teaser you’ve offered 😀

      • MinnFinn says:

        Liberty – Ha-ha, and I think the near opposite. Pippa’s wedding to Nico is just around the corner. And that is why there have been so few pap photos of her lately and none of her with Nico. My hunch is they’re using the JFK Jr and Caroline Bessett pre-wedding ruse where they create the appearance of having split up and then boom, photos appear on a Monday of their weekend wedding.

      • bluhare says:

        Which is why you need a BLOG, Liberty!!!!!

      • Liberty says:

        MInnFinn, ha okay. I can completely buy into your take on this. But with this caveat: I think Pippa and Nico may well be full steam ahead as far as Pippa and Nico are concerned – but I can’t yet rule out a last burst of apple tree climbing by Carole, who’s a proven gold medalist in matters of this sort.

        bluhare, yes, yes, didn’t I tell you?

      • bluhare says:

        No, you didn’t, Liberty. I’ll be a faithful reader if you ever tell me the name of it.

  23. waitwhat says:

    These people are Royals for goodness sake…nothing they do is spontaneous or normal. After reading historical biographies of many celebrities, politicians, and Royals, I’ve come to believe that nothing these people do is what would seem practical or feasible to the public and that every action is calculated. So I’ll run with this theory and assume Kate never intended to go because William is meeting up with a mistress and Pippa was used as a decoy for media pix. Remember, EVERYONE knew about Camila and she even went to events with her husband where she could also meet up with Charles on the side and the husband knew as did all their friends. Truth is stranger than fiction folks.

    • Vava says:

      There is always that possibility. I wonder who else was at this wedding…..hmmmmm……….

    • FLORC says:

      That’s how it went. Everyone knew. You just didn’t go gossiping about it outside the closed circle.

  24. Liberty says:

    Imaginary Mrs M: That’s right, ducks, strap on yer nice false bum, we want yer reknown ladywares lookin’ fresh again, nice as meat pie, don’ we! An’ hope ye washed all the handprints off yer lass, as we used to say in the world o’ aviation! This wedding’s like to be our last chance to get you a seat in the Windsor bus, ain’t it! Blew yer last chance, didn’ you just, after all me work!

    Imaginary Philippa M: Mum!

    iMrsM: Don’t mum me! No more playin’ games, my fine miss! No more “pull my thumb” wiv that old nibs Grampa Philip when yer meant to be workin’ me long game, you ‘ear me! Now ‘urry it up, Willy’s waitin’, so put these nice cutlets in! You think I made it this far wivvout puttin’ me assets to good use in first class? O’ course, aye cain’t say as aye call South Devon first class, but, wear yer new hat anyway fer the toffs, m’dear! Cost me six hunnert quid to have the mic stuck in that twee violet up top!

    Imaginary Phillipa M: Oi, mam, not the cutlets! I need to carry me iPod twixt me girls, got to learn me bloody audition music for Dancin’ Wiv the Stars, ain’t I! Thanks to all yer bloody great ideas, me life is a mad rollin’bog, ain’t it! ‘Ell, ain’t it! Nothing but skiing and carryin’ coffee about and writin’ books and watchin’ the bloody bangin’ tennis! Cor! I ‘ates it! I liked it when I could just get eye-rollin’ topsy-assed unstuck wiv me mates and whatever toffs we brought up to the flat, three days of spank the nurse, weren’t it, or some oh sorry ‘eadmaster! An’ just wakin’ up on a loverly morning wiv a couple o’ nice sturdy boys and a box of smokes an’ me voddy, all a girl needs really! and then skinny sunnin’ off the roov, oi! Now only old Kitty gets to sunbav’ in the skinny like old days! While I’m stuck walkin’ about town in frightful frocks, or ridin’ about like a great yob fer charity fer bloody days, so much so, now me bum looks like a smacked pug’s face! Ain’t fair, ‘s it? Why’s Kitty got to do no charity or ‘ard slappin’, why’s it all on me’n’Jimmy, I asks! I’m tired of that plate in ‘er ‘ead, it’s ruinin’ me one own life! I want to ‘ave fun again, I do, like back when, like wiv the nice French lads and the gun! Oi, they was nice! Me best oui oui oui and no daft plonker’s hat!

    iMrsM: An’ that’s why you’re the perfect gal fer me greatest plan, you silly goose!

    iPM: I don’t care, I tell you!

    iMrsM: Now, listen good: you’ll be 32 in a couple of weeks and where’s yer crown an’ title? Yer me only smart ‘un, but look at yer! No work, no man wiv no family jools but ‘is Mr Johnson! Our Kitty ‘as a fine free ride as long as she lives now! That would’ve been you too, if you ‘adn’t skuppered off after Kitty’s weddin’ wiv that spotty old his nibs the Duke of Eddingwhataveyou, ‘ow could yer, what was you thinkin’! So for this weddin’ today, miss, you’ll make hat bloody Willy thinks what a fine thing you would be as his sister, and tick tock, he’ll order that ruddy Ginger brother of ‘is to marry you! How long I been trainin’ Willy to demand things, a house, another house, an’ now we ‘ave ‘im where we want ‘im, don’t we, pet, followin’ me every sigh! So it’s time to make bov’ of me gals princesses, or I’m not the woman what made Roger Moore pay a hundred quid to get out of me DC10 section’s loo, oi! And this time, no more mistakes wiv yer frisky vicky, you ‘ear me?

    iPM: But that old bloody Ginger don’t even know I’m alive! All he talked about at Kitty’s wedding was that great clompin’ Chelsy, an’ her leavin’ ‘im in a chiz! So, I was bored, tweren’t I? so yah. I went off fer a tipple wiv his old Gramps, din’ I, and why not, much more fun, still got a motor runnin’ for a spotty older bloke, don’ ‘e, quite a lot of laughs, aint he! So he says to me,, “Oi, you, little gal, I gots a bottle in me good pants AND I’m ‘appy to see you, har, Miss Pips, har, and ain’t you the prettier one, har! Well come ‘ere, give an ol’ dog a wet kiss” ‘e says, din’ he! And he’s ‘er Magnificence’s hubby, ain’t he, so one had to do as ‘e said, din’ I, rule o’ the Crowns! And I don’ mind sayin’ we ‘ad us a right lovely old time, in three grandrooms, din’ we, until ‘is old Missus’s boring palace spoggerss threw me out! But his very old nibs sent me them nice ear-bobs and the necklace and two bicycles, and them lovely teacakes every Tuesday like clockwork, din’ he! An’ me great private allowance! An’ ‘e swears he’ll leave me a packet when he pops off! An’ all I gots to do is drop in and say Bobs’ yer uncle now’n’again, sit on the ol’ boy’s good knee an’ tell ‘im a frisky story about me day, what! Then I gets to go do as I please! Why, it’s quite enough Windsor fer me, mam, I don’t need no diamond hat, or a wet Ginger do-gooder ‘angin’ about me flat when I c’n ‘ave me nice boyfriends in!

    iMrsM: Well! it’s NOT enough for your family, is it! After all Uncle Gar’ did so you’d ‘ave the good life! Well, I’ve fed Kitty those lovely Bahamian knock-out drops already, didn’t I, so you’re going to grow up and take her place and go to this wedding today wiv ‘is ‘airless junior Nibs! You play yer buttons right this time, we’ll ‘ave us a lovely Christmas wedding wiv a nice Swiss ‘oneymoon, you and Ginger will look best against snow!

    iPM: I won’t! I like me Nico and Alex ‘n Henri, n’ me ol’ Phil!

    iMrsM: Yer playin’ days are done, miss, we’ve got a worry in the shape of a nanny I don’ min tellin’ you! Now, off wiv you, and I don’t want to see you again until I see you creepin’ out of the Ginger’s Kensington flat wivvout your silkies on the front page of the DailySmell! One of them two lads is going to be King, and I ain’t bein’ knocked out of the Palace honey tree if the angry mucks go after soddin’ Willy’s ‘ead! Now, here, ‘at on, off you go! This house lease don’t pay itself, nor do yer clothes n’ such, and I won’t be floggin’ me whimsical nut-minders another ten years, I tell you, when I’ve Kings to raise!

    • Guesto says:

      Liberty – are you American? And posting an American’s idea of parody?

      Because I’m just not getting the humour.

      • bluhare says:

        Most of us really enjoy these and they aren’t supposed to make sense. Liberty has said that she take great liberties (ha!) with the accent and dialog which is based on a public school educated British boss she had at one time. Although I grant you the accents above are not public school educated ones! But that’s the whole point because the Middleton children might be public school educated but they come from a council estate-raised mother.

        Maybe you should give it a go. I’m all for taking the mickey out of them.

      • Sixer says:

        I’m getting it and I’m all for running jokes. Perhaps you’re just out of the Normal Bill loop, Guesto?

      • Olenna says:

        My head is usually spinning afterwards (like I have a plate in my head, too), but I get ’em! It’s kinda like watching a Guy Richie gangster movie with the closed caption on.

      • PoliteTeaSipper says:

        I can’t even get halfway though it without getting a headache. Moving on.

      • Deedee says:

        If you don’t “get it” then move along. It’s actually a quite funny serial that goes way back on royal posts.

    • frisbee says:

      Well I’m getting it and it’s as usual a completely brilliant flight of fantasy that hits more than a few nails on the head – ‘Bahamian knock out drops” Bwahahahahaha.. and I agree – it’s bound to be the Nanny, Normal Bill is nothing if not an unimaginative, completely predictable twerp- Bravo Liberty!

      • Guesto says:

        Sorry, but the parody is just not coming across. I’m not getting a ‘voice’ that I can identify with or one that makes me laugh in recognition. Which is a shame because there’s huge parody to play with here.

        I do think you have to be ‘here’ though to exploit it successfully.

      • frisbee says:

        Where is ‘here’ are we talking about geographical location? I’m a Brit in England and I get it so it can’t be that. Or possibly a frequenter of this site? I think it’s ‘wavelength’ I think you are either on Liberty’s surreal/exquisitely developed sense of the ridiculous wave-length or you’re not. No shade intended at all by the way, humour is a complex thing and not everybody’s funny bone is in the same place.

      • Sixer says:

        Also a Brit. Also get it.

      • Ski bunny says:

        Guesto you’re not alone. i don’t find any humour in it either. I’m English and find it insulting actually. We don’t speak like that.

      • bluhare says:

        Ski bunny, you must have lived in the US for a while because I see a lot of American in your speech. Tax relief healthcare, tax dollars, unemployment insurance. Not British terms and William and Kate represent Great Britain or the United Kingdom, not England. It’s easy to forget, isn’t it?

      • Tough Cookie says:

        I waited all day for this, Liberty!!! XXXOOO, wot? <3

      • LAK says:

        Another Brit here. I get it.

      • Ski bunny says:

        Bluhare I’ve lived in many places but never the US. And I’m English as were both my parents. Why try to insult me because I find libertys dialogue verging on high school mentality. And lacking in any kind of humour originality or wit!

      • notasugarhere says:

        Seriously, you have to lash out because you cannot handle being questioned? BTW, your lack of punctuation skills are showing.

        I’m going to guess that if you agreed with Liberty’s opinions on things then you wouldn’t attack her delightful fictions.

    • LAK says:

      That’s hysterical!! 🙂

    • Becks says:

      It’s absolutely brilliant, as the British are wont to say.

      And for me, the voice of imaginary Carole Middleton comes through just fine. It’s funny, funny stuff, Liberty.

    • Liberty says:

      My, look what I found here. 🙂 Thank you everyone for your kind comments!

      @Guesto, thank you also for your thoughts. As Frisbee said so eloquently (thank you Frisbee, I am humbled), my silly story-comments are never going to be for all tastes. In fact I’m amazed by any nice comment they receive. In any event, these bits are not written as works of art or fine examples of superb international parody. They are, like other comments, whipped up while reading the CB posts, in ten or twenty minutes over coffee, just for fun, full-stop. The made-up language of OTT ridiculous verbal mugging I use is not going to be found in any linguistics thesis. It’s just part of the surreal (nods to frisbee again) nonsensical nature of my little chunks, as all of this is quite imaginary, taking place in an imaginary world that is not ‘here’ nor even ‘there’ etc.

      As bluhare mentioned, I did pilfer some rhythm and phrasing for two characters from the, um, more drunken hours of client who went to school with our Chuck. Another character uses twists when she speaks that come from a friend in Munich who is not German. I plop this into an imaginary world of imaginary things. I’m not spending much time stewing on this (other than now keeping a beady on continuity for bluhare!). So no, no prizes will be won here!

      Finally as bluhare also said, I hope you will write your own parody and share it! We love the subject matter, and we love having a smile in our busy days! The more the merrier!

      As to anything I’ve not addressed, Guesto, I’ll leave you with the words of the American Dorothy Parker:

      Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
      A medley of extemporanea;
      And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
      And I am Marie of Romania.

      – From “Not So Deep As A Well”

      • bluhare says:

        And I love you forever until the sky falls down for all the continuity, Liberty!! I also am chuffed beyond measure to be part of the haute couture world. 🙂

      • wolfie says:

        Liberty, I think that you are darling!

    • Tanya S says:

      Love your work Liberty!

    • Dena says:

      That’s right, ducks, strap on yer nice false bum, we want yer reknown ladywares lookin’ fresh again, nice as meat pie, don’ we!

      Hell, just that alone had me falling out of my chair laughing. And it’s the first sentence. Thank you Liberty.

      Screen play! Screen play! Screen play!

  25. Tilly says:

    I have several thoughts / possibilities rolling around in my mind as to what could be happening:

    1) Kate and William are in the process of separating (weird that Rebecca Deacon confirmed Kate didn’t attend the wedding but added that William definitely did); or, they’re fighting;

    2) Kate’s parents are in the process of separating and because Carole spends so much time at Amner Hall, Kate is her confidante and she wanted to be there for her mother;

    3) Kate didn’t want to go because if she did, people would likely ask why she can still turn up to a wedding but she can’t be bothered making the effort to turn up to anything else she should be fronting for in her ‘Duchess’ capacity;

    4) Kate found out someone else would be attending the wedding who she loathes and can’t bear to look at;

    5) Kate was feeling unwell;

    6) Kate had absolutely nothing to wear and William refused to buy her something new. (Because how many times do we, as women, look in our wardrobes and do that? I know I do!! Hundreds upon hundreds of items of clothing but still nothing to wear).

    If any of the above is what was really going on, and I was in Kate’s position, I still would’ve attended, and in doing so I would’ve put my very best smile on and best foot forward. Mind you, I’d also be doing a heck of a lot of good for my charities and to raise awareness in other areas than she is … but that’s a different story.

    • Tanya S says:

      Tilly, It would not surprise me if number 1 was true. They have not looked happy together since Charlotte was born. They didn’t even look all that thrilled at the photocall on the steps of the hospital.

    • Tough Cookie says:

      I bet one of her veneers popped off and she couldn’t go missing a tooth, could she? I only raise that as a possibility because I have several veneers and a few years ago when giving my dog a bath his head hit me in the mouth and POP. It didn’t break, I was able to keep it in in place temporarily until I got to the dentist the next day but I was afraid to smile for fear if would fall out.
      Yes, I know it’s bizarre. And I keep wanting to re-write it in Liberty’s voiceover LOL

  26. hopscotchchampion says:

    New article in the DM about not attending the wedding. Kate is a “tired mum” and “fragile.” She needs Will by her side and not going to all these social events. William “seems doggedly determined to maintain pre-baby levels of partying.”