Mindy Kaling is promoting her new book, Why Not Me?, plus the new season of The Mindy Project, which has moved to Hulu this year. I’ve been enjoying Mindy’s interviews a lot lately – she’s been talking about confidence, her life in LA, her work in Hollywood and she just seems very relatable and “Real.” Mindy talked about that realness in an interview with The Guardian a few days ago – go here to read the full piece, which I would recommend if you enjoy her already. She tells an uncomfortable story about being invited to announce the Emmy nominations only to learn that she wasn’t nominated, and binge-eating McDonalds after the announcements. It’s very “real” and relatable. Here’s more:

Writing about her embarrassing moments: “You can choose not to write about your embarrassments and things that make you feel vulnerable but it’s not like people can’t see them anyway. Most people think that everyone’s life is so easy in Hollywood. And, for the most part, life is pretty great. So those moments when you are embarrassed, or you feel slighted, or an idiot, or miserable – I think they’re good to write about. I mean, really, I cringe when I’m reading it. But it’s really funny. Everything just gets better! That’s been my experience.”

Trying to sell The Mindy Project pilot: When NBC passed on the pilot, “I sat in my trailer and wept.” Finally, however, Fox said yes. “It’s very nice to have a show at a time when a woman who is not traditionally beautiful having her own comedy show and being openly pro-choice is commonplace. Right now, all my favourite shows star women who, if not producing it, created it themselves. I’m glad I’m coming up at this same time.”

Being constantly invited to sit on Hollywood panels: “When I get invited, I’m often the only woman and I’m often the only person of colour at this event. So if I can’t make it because of my work, I get an enormous amount of pressure to come, because if I’m not there, a minority and a woman will not be represented. That pressure sometimes is a little unfair, because me being included makes other people seem like they’re open-minded and diverse.”

Her realness: “I don’t want to be real! When I think of things that are ‘real’, I think of income taxes and Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. Real is bad! I want fantasy!”

Body image: “You know what’s funny? If I call myself a cute, chubby girl, the natural kind woman’s response is, ‘You’re not chubby! You’re beautiful! And thin!’ And I always want to hug the person and say, ‘It’s OK, I identify as someone who is cute and chubby – that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of love and attention and intimacy.’ And also, my priorities are not such that I’m mortally offended by someone thinking that. Insults about the way I look can’t be the thing that harms me and my heart the most. It has to harm me the least. If I have a daughter, I’m going to tell her that. Far too many women are much more hurt by being called fat or ugly than they are by being called not smart, or not a leader. If someone told me that I was stupid or that I wasn’t a leader, or that I wasn’t witty or quick or perceptive, I’d be devastated. If someone told me that I had a gross body, I’d say, ‘Well, it’s bringing me a lot of happiness.’ Like, I’m having a fine time of it. Having my priorities aligned like that has helped me have a happier life, I think.”

Her relationship with BJ Novak & whether they’re like ‘When Harry Met Sally’: “When people say that, it makes me feel so cool. Like, oh, people are thinking about me like I’m a character. We are so different and we fight a lot, but the gift he [Novak] has always given me is the utter and total belief that I am one of the greats. And it is an intoxicating feeling.”

What she learned from losing her mom: “The only good that came from the experience is that it really is as bad as it gets to have a parent who dies of cancer. It really doesn’t get worse than that. Like a lot of people, I care desperately what people think, but I’m also like, oh well, it can’t hurt me too deeply. It’s never going to be as bad as losing your mom. Right now, I’m still in the place where I feel so robbed of her that if I write about her it would just be a piece about grief and anguish instead of a real celebration of what she was like.”

[From The Guardian]

Mindy always makes me ache with sadness when she talks about losing her mom. It feels like she hasn’t completely processed it and she still feels waves of grief. I love what she says about BJ Novak too, because I worry that they hold each other back from forming real relationships with other people. It’s good to know that she’s getting something out of it, that he “has always given me is the utter and total belief that I am one of the greats.” That’s wonderful. And everything she says about body image and what would really devastate her… word.

Photos courtesy of WENN.