Miley Cyrus has been playing it fast and loose with her love life lately. I don’t mean anything bad by that. She’s just not into relationships right now, which is fine. She was seeing Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell for a few months, but I think they split. Or at least, Miley stopped featuring her on Instagram, but Miley appears to have genuinely moved onto other prospects. If this story is true, Miley has severely downgraded from a VS angel to a washed-up comedian. Us Weekly says she’s hooking up with none other than Dane Cook. They’ve known each other for a few years.
.@MileyCyrus you gotta work on those tan lines girl.
Your boobs look like two scoops of french vanilla ice cream.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) September 9, 2013
Not too long ago, they met up in person to make profane gestures towards a camera.
Here are the details from Us Weekly, which says it’s ON between Miley and Dane:
Miley Cyrus has found a stand-up guy! A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly that the “Hands of Love” singer and comedian Dane Cook are “hooking up.”
The 22-year-old – who has said she likes “funny” men — and Jessica Simpson’s ex are longtime pals. In December 2013, they had an impromptu dance party at L.A. club The Woods. And this past March, when her then-love, Patrick Schwarzenegger, was snapped doing body shots off a bikini-clad girl on spring break, she regrammed a self-addressed post from Cook, 43, that read, “Don’t you ever let someone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You are a pink Starburst.” Sweet.
Since splitting from Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver’s oldest son in April after five months of dating, the host of the 2015 VMAs has been linked to Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell, though she has denied being in a relationship.
[From Us Weekly]
This is actually pretty gross news to me because Dane’s one of the most misogynistic comics out there, which is saying a lot considering the crop of contemporary comedians. His career topped out with Good Luck Chuck, you know? He’s not funny at all, but Miley isn’t known for having good taste in companions. Oh well, this won’t last long.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
Ugh. Hope that guy just started this rumor to gain relevancy, and there is nothing to it.
They only thing that could give this headline more ick factor is if they had a threesome with Daniel Tosh. Critical Mass achieved.
nyuk nyuk
The CDC has declared this coupling a Level 4 biohazard.
Lol.
Ha!
Brava!
LOL!! So two sleazeballs found each other. What a surprize! I guess it’s true what they say about birds of a feather.
I think they make GREAT molly buddies.
This hookup is even getting the side eye from roaches
Ok. This got an ugly donkey bray laugh outta me. Brava!
Miley can make look cheap even the finest Chanel.
He’s gross. She’s gross. I say they’re douche of a feather. Perfect match.
PAOLA – I agree. Only possible answer is GROSS. Where did I read that she wants to get devil horn implants?
+2
Can’t stand her. She’s really gross. Just another case of a celebrity kid.
gross + gross = gross
Yeah when I read the headline I was like this makes sense…
Wow, some people would do anything to get noticed. They’re both annoying as nails against a chalk board.
Am I the only one who thinks Dane has never, ever,never been funny? There were people on other message boards going on about his routines and how funny he is. I thought I was in some alternate universe.
I thought I had read that he was known for stealing material, too.
I’ve gotten the impression that he is not at all liked among his fellow comedians.
That’s what ended his career. And are we really going so full-on 90s that we’re doing the one strap undone on the overalls thing again? It looked so stupid the first time.
Louis CK had a whole episode about this.
I’m clearly in the minority here but that doesn’t bother me! I have always thought he was sexy and funny and I’m not ashamed to say it!
We’ll be in the minority together, maybe we can get some kind of funding? Back in 2002 when Dane Cook was all over the place I thought he was hot as hell and hilarious. Not so much now but hes been MIA forever. I read years ago that his brother (step?) was working for him and basically stealing large sums of money. I do think that Miley is a little young for him but thats not stopping anyone these days. “Dane’s one of the most misogynistic comics out there” — What? I must have missed some great gossip because I didn’t think he was worse than any other comedians? I’d love to know what he did. Anyone have the scoop?
I’m neutral. He was funny on his SNL guesting. I enjoy his late night TV guestings. His campus stand-up tour left something to be desired. A lot of cringe worthy moments. I read a lot about his joke stealing ways and people in various forums find him unfunny but I can never get myself to hate him. I feel the same way about Adam Sandler.
Cook has made me laugh: Finland!
I still like his old bit from Comedy Central where he was talking about Christ Chex.
After reading items online that Miley was considering having silicone horns implanted in her scalp, then everything else she has done the past few years. I would consider hooking up with this guy pretty tame
Oh, they so deserve one another! The perfect couple! May they have long life together and much happiness. Away from us all. In quiet. And solitude. Please, please stop sharing. Please.
I say we contact the pathologist from today’s Tom Hiddleston post and ask if he’ll please remove their voice boxes for the sake of humanity.
A most excellent idea, byland.
Thanks ever so much, Nutballs. Pregnancy is making me less and less tolerant of stupidity and my limit was already pretty low to begin with. I keep finding myself thinking “Off with their heads!” – which I know is not a good sign. 😉
Just looked at Dane again. Someone looks “refreshed”.
Yes, it looks like he finally took a shower. Two weeks ago.
He looks like Jason Sudeikis now, weird.
No people. Botox refreshed. Not a line on his face.
He sure does look like he’s had some “treatment”…electric shock would be my guess from that top photo.
I feel sticky just reading about these two hooking up.
All of her partners have been a downgrade from Liam Hemsworth.
certainly not in intellectual capacity.
He dodged that bullet. I bet every time he hears about he ltes out a giant sigh of relief. Then laugh at the latest sucker that has to deal with her.
Completely agree. She should have locked that down. He would have hated himself for life though lol
Seems like someone she would do.
I really think her taste in partner has gone down hill since Liam.
I feel like someone needs to stand up for yellow starburst here. Yellow you are delicious. Don’t let what others say bring you down.
“I am sorry if Yellow Starbust was offended by Dane’s comments, but I am glad it opened a conversation regarding the best colors of Starbusts” -Pink Starbust
Oh Pink Starburst, what would do without you to Starbursplain everything?
Starbursplain, I just died a little.
Ostone and Esmom – well done.
And while we are on the topic what’s with this guy associating Miley Cyrus with sweets? She’s a starburst and her boobs are vanilla scoops…does this guy have a Willy Wonka fetish or something?
Yellow is my favorite Starburst flavor.
Philistine.
Both of these comments win!!
This pairing makes a lot of sense to me. Miley has serious issues from being exploited as a child star. She has little self-respect and confuses her immaturity and exhibitionism for some warped form of sexual freedom and feminism. Dane Cook is the type of guy who likes to exploit women and treat them nothing more than as sexual objects. He is gross but I imagine his being a total freak in the sack which is what Miley is attracted to.
Ok, like a previous poster, I’m at a loss regarding why he’s so misogynistic and exploits women. Granted, I only know him from his stand-up and the few comedies he’s been in. But I don’t recall any misogyny in his act, and I’m pretty sensitive to that kind of thing. Maybe I’m mis-remembering? Can someone please elaborate on this?
P.S. All I know is, if he IS with MC, then obviously he has a serious character flaw.
Seems like it would a match made in gross, stale beer and weed stank heaven. Honestly, these two deserve each other-he may be desperate for attention, but so is she and she is by no means out of his league.
“she likes “funny” men”
the quotation marks around funny sound like beautiful snark to me.
What does he see in a 21-22y/o I have no idea….What does she see in a middle-aged man who is a “comic”? I have no idea either
In a word: GROSS
Just a mix of BO, dank pot, stale food and something rotting. Blech.
I think Miley would really benefit from the college experience, ya know? I think she’d really flourish in that environment- a really strong liberal arts college, with student organizations and ways for her to be exposed to new ideas, where she could explore her identity and “rebel” without the “yes men” around her telling her how smart she is. I don’t know why, I just think she needs somewhere to mature and grow and be challenged. Right now, I see a little girl who thinks she knows everything and is clueless in so many ways.
Yeah, some oversexed liberal arts college where she can sleep with…well, everyone in the student “body”.
This is the oddest hookup/coupling in awhile.
I hope this isn’t true because he is WAY too old for her. And she is pretty much the perfect prey for a much older, thoroughly disgusting man. I’m not fond of her, but that doesn’t mean I want to see her — or anyone — in this kind of situation.
But I think there’s a good chance Dane Cook started this rumor. It’s the kind of unfunny, gross thing he’d do.