This may sound like a dated perspective, but I believe most/many men have strong feelings about women’s hair, and of those men, most of them prefer long hair. I’m not saying a dude is going to divorce you or cheat on you if you have a pixie cut, I’m just saying that if you ask the average straight dude, they’re probably going to say that they prefer long hair on a woman. So, take a gander of this photo (above) of David Beckham and his daughter Harper from a month ago. You can see that Harper’s hair is basically to her waist. That’s because David has put his foot down and refused to allow Posh to cut Harper’s hair. Ever. Harper’s never had a haircut?
Speaking to Yahoo! Style, David Beckham explained: ‘About a year ago, my wife said, “Maybe we should cut Harper’s hair.” And I was like, “No! We need to grow it. Do. Not. Touch.” Since she was born, we haven’t cut it. That’s why it’s pretty much down to her knees.’
David, whose mother Sandra was a hairdresser, also revealed that he sometimes tests his own skills by giving his three sons home buzz cuts, but he wouldn’t dare go near the scissors: ‘If I have to use scissors, the boys know not to ask – [my mum] never taught me how to do that.’
I know we’ve already talked about creepy mummy’s boys today, but here’s another version: my late father always had strong views about me keeping my hair long too. He hated it when I cut my hair above my shoulders in college. So, I guess I associate Beckham’s thing with a completely natural dad thing. Dads like their daughters to have long hair. Right? Or is it weird?
In previous interviews, Becks made hearts melt by saying: “To have a daughter is a whole different story. I’m not saying I love my daughter more, but the boys are independent.” Yeah, he’s not going to say he loves his daughter more, but he totally loves his daughter more. He also says that he’s not ever going to allow Harper to date and she’s going to be “like Rapunzel – up in the tower.”
Here are some photos of Beckham out last night in London at the Pride of Britain Awards:
Photos courtesy of WENN.
He could be joking, who knows? Hope so.
My husband adores our kids but he left grooming and clothing decision to me, particularly with our daughter. If he had said she couldn’t get her hair cut when she was small I would have told him that HE could spend hours trying to detangle a cranky toddler’s hair.
I thought Harper was his son. It’s his daughter, no biggie. Plus they probably cut any split ends but just not a few inches of hair.
I don’t buy the he will never ever let her cut her hair. When she’s old enough if she wants she will do it herself. This sounds like the daddies who believe that their 25 year old daughters are still virgins in their eyes.
From the looks of her hair in the photo, doesn’t look like they have even cut the split ends off. Just saying. My daughter had hair down to her butt when she was 4 and it was so hard to keep the tangles out of (it was also thick) and it hurt to keep those tangles out that I cut it up to midback. As far as Dave “loving her more”. Don’t think it’s about “loving her more” as it is she’s daddy’s little princess. I know – I was one. I had 3 brothers and I was my daddy’s princess. Being princess had it’s advantages. He should also teach his daughter how to be independent.
Does she want long hair? Or is her father giving her an archaic crash course on being sure to 1) plan her appearance to please the man in her life, 2) focus inordinately on her physical appearance and 3) have twisted ideas on what constitutes feminity.
Also, this isnt your random decision that can be comfortably be deferred to the “adults”. Hair this long requires a great deal of maintance and can also restrict her activities. Even naturally fru-fru girls left to their own devices will occasionally horse around. I can think of nothing sadder than the little girl who cant just dive into a pool without having to plan a deep hair conditioning session or tucking on a bunch of swim caps.
My son is 9 and his hair is a few inches shorter than Harper. I only cut the split ends. Believe me I want to cut it all off but I’m letting him make the decision of how he wants to wear his hair. It is a pain to brush some times. To cut back on the maintenance of his hair I have resorted to corn rolls which last for about two weeks.
@Kami who said” Does she want long hair? Or is her father giving her an archaic crash course on being sure to 1) plan her appearance to please the man in her life, 2) focus inordinately on her physical appearance and 3) have twisted ideas on what constitutes feminity.”
I don’t think David is doing that. He is married to Victoria Beckham who has worn many short styles throughout their marriage. If he was forcing this crash course on his daughter it most likely would have started with his wife who seems to wear her hair how she pleases.
Urgh. My father, God rest his soul, had no opinion about my hair. Or at least none he shared. Thankfully.
Right?! My dad would never notice a hair cut or dye, unless it was platinum…my mom on the other hand has finally recently stopped complaining when I cut it.
corn rolls? >_>
My dad is also old school,lol, he prefers long hair on girls, he wouldn’t stop me but if I had went home with a pixie cut in my teen yes, he’d be sad. I’m totally a daddy’s girl, but my hair was always my choice
Can’t wait for the day Harper locks herself up in a closet with a pair of scissors and gives herself a haircut (as I did when I was her age).
haha when i did that I ended up with a bowl cut…
David will be waiting outside the door with extensions!
It sounds sweet and yet … it’s a good thing Shiloh Jolie-Pitt got Brad and Angie as her parents.
Well Harper seems to be a Daddy’s girl so I am sure if she said “Daddy please let me cut my hair” he would say OK.
That’s what I’m hoping, too.
@ Colette: THIS! All the way! He melts with his girl!
@Colette
The point is, yes it’s weird. He’s placing way too much importance on what HE wants and likes about her APPEARANCE (long hair) – which is not healthy and won’t encourage her own identity and individuality.
So if what you say is correct and she is a Daddy’s girl that’s even more reason why her own needs and desires will be stamped out. She wants long hair because HE does.
He’s reducing her to what she looks like already. If Brad or Ben said this about their girls, women would riot and rightfully so.
Now if Beckham said something that had some kind of rationale. 1) She gets easily chilled and likes her hair long…OR 2) if she cuts off her hair I’d confuse her with my boy who’s near the same age OR
But he’s just weirdly stamping his foot because he wants her looking a certain way.
Kudos to the amazing Dad Brad is…I remember he took his girls shopping and got Zahara the jeggings she wanted and Shiloh the Polo’s and cargos she wanted.
What does Shiloh and her parents have to do with Harper and her dad? I am not sure what you are trying to say.
I think she was just referring to Shiloh’s trademark sassy shorter ‘do.
Yep, don’t read anything more into it. She’s only saying that at least AJ and Brad let their kids decide how they want to dress and how they want to wear their hair.
Thanks Kitten and V4Real that’s all I was saying. Shallow and obvious!
@ERIKA
It’s pretty clear what she’s saying: one Dad is unhealthily stifling a young daughter’s individuality and what her own preferences are, for his own selfish preferences.
While another Dad let’s his daughters individuality and what they want for themselves thrive and flourish.
Imagine if Brad (or Connie Britton) said of their young Afr American daughters from the time they were 3 or 4 – “I want my daughters to have bone straight hair! Its what I personally love and think pretty” Do u think their kids would have a chance in h*ll of loving their naturally curly hair? Not a chance.
Why are we looking for a creepy factor here? She’s his child, just a little girl who is not yet in the position to decide for herself.
When I read it I assumed him not wanting to cut it was more about not wanting to think about how she is growing up. I’ve had friends that are so upset when they finally get their kids hair cut for the first time because it was a symbol of growing up, not being their little baby anymore
This is how I read it too. It took me years to convince my husband to cut our kids’ hair, male and female. It wasn’t about appearance; it was purely sentimental. It was more like he didn’t want to change a single thing about our babies. My 2-year-old still hasn’t gotten a haircut.
I think it’s a normal dad thing, and really a normal parent thing in general to have an opinion on what their kid’s hair looks like, whichever way they prefer it. My stepdaughter’s mother, on the other hand, refused to let her hair grow below chin length until she was an adolescent. My personal feelings are that whomever is responsible for the upkeep gets to choose, until the child is old enough to maintain it and/or choose for themselves.
I hope he’s joking, because that weirds me out a bit. Like she’s not a “real” girl if she doesn’t have super long hair? Does that mean that I’m less of a woman because my hair is jaw-length?
I’m just…puzzled by this attitude.
She’s 4…no need to make this an attack on women in general.
@woooo
Its less an attack on ‘women,’ and more a stifling of one girl who will one day be a woman’s (Harper’s) voice and individuality. She’s 4, not 4 months.
3 and 4 is the exact age kids ARE expressing their individuality and what they want for themselves – that is, unless they have a weird Daddy turning them into a pretty doll or Rapunzel.
I find this sad. Then again I’ve always thought Beckham weird.
It sounds totally outdated, and equally as outdated to say that boys are more independent (which implies that girls are more dependent? Pshaw). Sure, maybe *his* boys, but certainly not all.
You know, girls are precious and fragile and only wear pink and play with dolls, right? RIGHT? Ugh.
His comment about the boys being more independent probably has to do with the fact that Harper’s 4 and still significantly dependent on them and the next eldest boy is nearly 11. Stop reaching *eyeroll*
@woooo
Uh, someone needs to tell David that it’s hard for a child to be ‘independent,’ when your child’s hair trails the ground, trips them up, gets caught in car doors and on clothes and foreign objects and when she always needs help bathing, washing it or even sitting on a toilet (eeew). So if she had to use the restroom in an airport he’s gonna let that trail the seat and stuff. Blech. …and a hair tie is something you’d have to remember to pack and if you knot it up that works but it’s still something you have to keep an eye on.
Long-ish hair is fine..but for a 4 yr old to have it to their calves on the insistence of a weird Dad…is terrible.
But that’s not what he said. So why the eye roll when you misquoted him?
His boys are OLDER. They need him less…and are therefore, more independent.
EDIT: Oops…we had the same thought at the same time.
I don’t know if it’s a daddies thing or if it’s a .
long hair = femme, short hair = masculine ,
long hair = Beaty, short hair = ugly type of thing .
It’s hair. She’s a little girl ,please don’t overanalyze it.
I didn’t say that how I feel, but guess what there are people out there who feel that why, my cousin is one of them.
It’s his kid. Victoria doesn’t doesn’t mind it why should we.
Never mind the hair DB looks a bit red in the face in that piccy – think Harper’s getting a wee bit heavy to be getting carried around!
Unless you are weaving your way through paparazzi… I’d carry her too.
I imagine shorter hair on a kid is much easier; I can’t see little Harper enjoying having her hair washed. I also don’t see any rationale why it’s a good idea for his daughter to have long hair besides “she’s a girl.” I am irritated by this.
To each their own of course, but for me personally, I tend to dislike long hair because it’s almost never in good condition: damaged, frizzy, dried out and flat. You can’t convince me that Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Aniston wouldn’t benefit from having a substantial haircut. (I also think short hair on women is so chic and polished. Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson and Helen Mirren to name a few who make my eyes light up!)
Yes. Helen Mirren is tres chic.
I also forgot to mention Viola Davis. I LOVE HER HAIR RIGHT NOW!!!
Well I think women such as Angelina Jolie, Sofia Vergara, Julia Roberts, Megan Fox Cindy Crawford, Adrianna Lima, Demi Moore, Jordana Brewster and Sarah Jessica Parker all have beautiful long healthy looking tresses and they look fantastic.
No shade on women who likes their locks short because Halle can rock some short hair. I just don’t think we should crap on women who prefer their hair long because they are just as fierce. And not all long hair is damaged.
*Sigh*
I am really tired of hearing parents talking about boys being independent and how daughters need to be protected and regulated. Girls and boys should be raised the same, and only treated differently when they get to puberty. E.g. knowing how to safely deal with their blossoming sexuality (without limiting, shaming girls’ sexuality, while doing the opposite for boys) and how to groom and take care of themselves.
I like the Beckhams, though.
I agree with 100 per cent of this.
I actually think the Beckhams are pretty great celebrity parents (I mean, their son has a part-time job at Costa Coffee… I LOVE that) but girls deserve to be raised to be self-sufficient and independent too, so they have the same options as boys and the same emotional and mental resources to go out and take what they want. I hope he realizes this as she gets older.
OMG YES. Thank you for this.
They are older… therefore independent.
Exactly. The Beckhams seem like really great parents – let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s holding on to the “baby”, not necessarily the “girl”.
Unless the boys didn’t get a first haircut until they were older than 4 – it’s not a holding on to the baby thing. He’s treating her very differently because she’s a girl, and justifying it because she reacts differently to him, because of course he treats her so differently… Heaven help her if she becomes someone not fitting into his little box labeled Daddy’s Little Princess. Parents like him absolutely raise their boys and girls very differently, and then insist that it’s because of inborn differences when actually they’re molding the kids to play certain roles.
Many kids are very sensitive to parental expectations, although some are strong enough to go their own way. Same with peer pressure, so many parents find their little egalitarians shift into rigid gender roles once they start school, since one stupid comment by another kid or any adult can get them to reject favorite colors, toys, decide the other sex has cooties, etc. They are that gullible at a certain age. But actually there are more differences between individuals in the “boy” and “girl” boxes than between the boxes, if children are really raised without sexist expectations. If we really want to give girls and boys equal opportunities, we had better figure out the differences between nature and nurture so we can help them compensate for any true weaknesses. Mother Nature has actually been kinder to girls, so in addition to not stifling your girls by dumping a pretty princess role on them, you need to help boys navigate in a complex society where typical male weaknesses are a handicap. The safest way is to have the same expectations for both and help both boys and girls develop their strengths and work to improve their weaknesses, because there are so many individual differences.
@jwoolman, this is wonderful. Social conditioning is so subtle and pervasive that it can be extremely difficult to tell what is an inborn individual personality trait and what is the result of our differing expectations of gender.
I was honestly initially disappointed when I discovered my last child was a boy (as are his older brothers). I thought that as a feminist, I had a lot of lessons to pass along to a daughter. But now that they are a little older, I realize that the great potential for change in the world is not in raising “stronger” girls, but in raising more nurturing boys. I strive to create space for my boys to be caretakers, to have emotional reactions, to admit “weakness”.
We can talk about Feminism all we want but when instead of empowering girls from an early age we reinforce gender stereotypes we are harming them. People say “oh it’s just hair”, no it’s not, it’s a symbol of typical femininity, just like pink dresses. And I don’t see why a little girl can’t choose her hair length,
Very well put!
Sounds like the typical dad of a girl. Just imagine her first date? Poor boy.
He may be coming off a little strong, but compared to the whatever goes approach from parents like Will Smith, it’s refreshing to see kids that aren’t self-indulged, entitled brats.
He has already joked that it is never going to happen. He was joking, right?
Of course! Hahah every single dad to a little girl has joked about her never being allowed to date (until she is 30, maybe)
You are right Kelly – it’s very typical for a Dad to want his little girls to have long hair. We should not over analyze this. When I was a little girl my Dad would not let my Mom cut mine or my older sisters’ hair – he insisted!! When I was five and my sister was six we shared a bed and I went to bed with gum in my mouth. That put an abrupt end to my Dad’s insistence that our long curly locks never be cut! HAHA!!
See, I look back and I’m grateful NEITHER of my parents felt a sense of ownership of my hair and allowed me to explore different styles. The only time my mom made a fuss was when I died my hair black, because it washed me out really bad. Some people just aren’t meant to have black hair. But it was always understood that my hair belonged to me and I should be the one to make decisions about it. After all, I was the one who had to live with it, not them.
I really hope Harper rebels in her teenage years and becomes a militant feminist with a buzzcut and combat boots.
Please he made a joke
I do too! That would be awesome.
He’s an ass hat. God forbid the little girl develops her own opinion.
Meh. Their business.
I think it’s a control thing. I’m sure the men who share their opinion that long hair is ‘better’ or ‘preferred’ do feel that way, but it’s also a control thing. It’s something he can control, and men like to feel in control of women, be it their wife or girlfriend or daughter.
My mom has not cut her hair because my stepfather has said he prefers longer hair, and I can’t believe that her choice not to cut it very short hasn’t been affected by her knowing her husbands preference.
I don’t think it’s a good or bad thing, really. It’s just a thing. But it can end up feeling like ‘oh, daddy doesn’t love me anymore b/c i cut my hair’
it grows back, and it doesn’t feel great to put a pressure on appearance on your children, especially one that is so strongly along the lines of ‘you’re a boy/you’re a girl’
if his sons wanted hair they could put in a man-bun…would he shave them bald until they didn’t want it anymore?
Why does the girls hair length need to be long but the boys don’t need to be short, Beckham?
Siobhan’s dad always wanted her to have long long hair… until she got gum stuck in it when I was out of town. After that, he didn’t seem to care as much. LOL.
i LOVE the name Siobhan! my dad was the same, LOL
Or, as I have now experienced several times, the vomit in the long hair (when child gets sick while sleeping). The worst.
I’m not in the business of telling someone how they should raise their child. We all know how jokes and sarcasm don’t translate well in print so I’m not going jump down his throat. Besides her own mother Posh seem to be ok with it so why feel some type of way about a none issue.
My dad liked long hair too. He was sad when I wanted to cut it but it wasn’t too big of a deal. I don’t see an issue with what DB said at all. It’s cute.
my husband felt this way about our first daughter when she was little, too. I think he just hated to see it change. They don’t want their little girls looking more grown up and cutting a style into previously baby-like wild hair does that. I think that’s all it comes down to: they don’t want their little girls to grow up too fast. When I finally had enough of our oldest daughter’s tangles as a toddler, I told DH i was cutting it and he came and teared up and all of that. We have the hair and a certificate to this day. She looked adorable and he got over it quickly. With our second daughter, he’s the same way: loves the baby hair. She hasn’t grown enough yet to require a cut, but I’m sure he’ll be just as sappy then.
The difference between boy vs. girl is that our son’s haircut doesn’t make him seem like he’s growing up too fast. He continues to look like a little boy even when his hair gets trimmed. It doesn’t make him look more grown up at all…it just makes him look less like he’s being raised by wolves.
I think you nailed it perfectly. It’s not a control issue or a feminist issue – it’s a sentimental issue. Harper is not only the girl, she’s the baby of the family. It’s natural that he would want her to stay young. As kids get older, they need their parent less, and as a hands on parent, he not looking forward to that. He obviously adores her – simple as that.
Short hair on a little girl doesn’t equal less feminine, as suggested above, it equals growing up. His boys are independent because they are older, not just becaus they are boys. I think people have read into his comments too much. His sentiment is actually very sweet.
Yes, you said it all perfectly. I would also add that boys are not necessarily more independent so much as they are assertive and aggressive – on average – and that’s totally natural. People want to read into his statement about his boys being independent as meaning he must want Harlow to stay dependent, but that’s not what he said. He just wants her to stay the baby for a while and let him carry her around and such. Most boys don’t want that beyond toddler years. All perfectly normal.
I don’t dismiss it as “weird” but it’s definitely rooted in patriarchal society standards. By not cutting her hair, he wants to make sure Harper is feminine and daddy’s princess. My dad had three daughters. He never had a say in our grooming or the length/color of our hair or how much make up we wore. However, he enforced curfew – especially if we were out with boyfriends and if by any reason our shirt was way too low cut or shorts too short. He did cry when he gave me away at my wedding and he has been my #1 fan by saying I should pursue higher education and never depend on anyone to succeed. We watch sports and drink beer together. Most dads I believe behave this way because it’s customary and they do love their daughters and have this idealization that they should be feminine etc etc. other dads cough Jim Bob cough really do believe men to be superior and for women to be “obedient and submissive and you will not cut your hair and will wear skirts because then you will want to play softball and run for office and obviously you will become a lesbian!”
So much about how women talk about their fathers grosses me out. I love my dad, he always loved and respected me for my intellect and my feisty ways, but I was never his little “princess,” or “Daddy’s little girl.” My husband and my daughter adore each other, respect each other like crazy, and he never called her “daddy’s little girl.” And grown women who call their fathers “daddy,” makes me queasy. How infantilizing for them.
+1
do we have child hair police these days? If the parents are happy and she’s not in danger or tripping over her hair rapunzel style I dont really care. They seem to be good parents and their kids come across well adjusted and well behaved in public
Agreed!!
Also, my 3 year old daughter has never had a haircut either and her hair is as long as Harper’s. Her hair is thick and beautiful and I haven’t seen a need to cut it. No big deal!
Yes, cavemen would drag women by their hair into their caves, that’s why men like long hair, lets evolve people!
No, cavemen and men today are attracted to the youth, fertility and feminity that long hair conveys – it’s science. It’s never going to go away. No different than women being drawn to strong brawny men. My husband’s hands are in my hair alot and I love it. Has nothing to do with wanting to drag me into his den. It has everything to do with the way it feels.
It’s …. not science. Social science, maybe, since we are societally conditioned to associate long hair with femininity. But men are not genetically inclined to like long hair — that’s absolute hogwash. Long hair is not inherently feminine.
Yes, it is science. Cavemen were attracted to long hair, especially lighter hair and they were not socially conditioned. Just as it is human instinct for men to be attracted to small waists and curves – because of the whole Golden Ratio attraction and that was not socially conditioned either. People don’t want to accept the fact that we are still animals and driven by instinctive reactions we aren’t even aware of. Maybe it makes some people feel more in control to believe we are more conscious than we are and more in control of our thought processes. We’re are more aware than we used to be, but it’s still there.
That doesn’t explain cultures where short hair or shaved heads are normal for women. It really is just a cultural thing, not a built-in preference. It’s more along the lines of the changing body parts of women that are supposed to arouse men , depending on what is usually covered up by traditional clothing.
I have known 1-2 parents in my time that were obsessed with one of their children and just adored / worshipped that particular child in a way that was over the top — to the clear detriment of their spouse and other children. It was quite creepy.
I hope that isn’t the vibe here.
i have an acquaintance (female) with 2 kids, a boy and a girl 1 year apart. the boy never had a haircut until he was 7. it was past his butt and looked awful. she couldnt even talk about cutting it without tearing up. it was creepy has f***. she was always touching it.
the girl had a bob always.
the boy’s hair was only cut because one of his friends had lice and she panicked.
I’m “child-free” but have a neice who I adore. My brother’s wife decided to cut her hair (by herself) and the poor kid ended up looking like she had the same haircut as Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber. It was truly horrific.
I had very long hair myself ’til I was about 9 and then got it cut (and permed! – it was the 80’s, what can I say)
All of the people I know who had super long hair “forced” on them as kids now have short hair as adults, so what he is doing sort of backfires.
When I was in grade school I wanted to cut my hair so badly. My mom refused to let me cut it. Guess what I did to my hair in my early 20’s? Cut if off! I went from between my should blades length to a pixie. It was fantastic! It is still short.
The princessification of his daughter is unfortunate. His attitudes are that type of benign sexism. If she wants to have waist length hair then more power to her. She is most definitely old enough to have an opinion. It’s creepy if her hair is the direct result of her father’s wishes to keep her feminine and dependent.
+1
+1000
Both? All dads are like this, it’s true. Mine is, my husband is. But I know a lot of moms who are partial to every cell, be it dead or alive, of their children. My eldest lost her first tooth the other day, and I catch myself staring at it wistfully, while 27 year old me looks on in disgust.
Neither my father nor my husband ever told my daughter or I how to keep our hair. We were much more concerned that she read, do well in school and have the self-confidence to not be defined by her hair.
She has pretty much passed the age of chopping off her own hair, but come 7yrs old they want to fix their own hair. That may be the time she will want it cut herself. One of my granddaughters would fix her hair in the oddest ways. I had to bite my tongue and let her be seen with it that way all the while hoping everyone realized I did not fix it.
Yes, most men do like long hair on their daughters. Why on Earth is that anything to find creepy? Creepy is trying to find something creepy about a dad who just enjoys his daughter’s long flowing hair and feminity. He does not love her more than his boys. He loves her different than his boys.
0000
I’m very glad you retracted your comment.
I have never cut my daughters hair, other than a trim. I also didn’t pierce her ears when she was a baby. She’s her own person and should have ownership of her appearance. When she wanted her ears pierced, we got them pierced. She loves her waist length hair; it’s shiny, bouncy, healthy, and sets her apart from every other kid in her class with a bowl cut. If/when she wants to cut it, we will.
I agree. Although I am concerned about reinforcing feminine stereotypes, my daughter’s very long wavy gold hair is so aesthetically beautiful, I can’t bear to cut it other than a trim for health. She loves it too, for now. But when she decides she wants it cut, that will be her decision.
My parents forced long hair on me for religious reasons and it was a burden. It really just took so much time to care for. And I never ever cared about hair myself. As an adult, it’s never been longer than my shoulders and I’ve had many pixies.
I think it’s wrong to rigidly control your kids appearance. And usually sexist, for that matter
I dont think its a big deal, as you said men are geared towards longer hair & find it feminine & beautiful…as they see their daughter. But at her age something will happen, be it gum, glue, or just a self experimental hair cut, it will change soon enough
Honestly it should be up to the kid, not the parent. It’s their hair! I remember having opinions about my hair as early as 3 or 4. I decided I wanted long hair because some other stupid kid said I looked like a boy with short hair so I grew it out. My mom was fine with it though she was the one who had to brush and detangle my long thick hair.
Around middle school I decided to cut and grow my bangs out. Again my parents let me do what I want. I also discovered that my previously straightish hair went boing during puberty and went all wavy like my mom’s and I immediately regretted my decision cutting it lol. I was self conscious about my hair for a long time and would just keep it up in a ponytail. I’ve cut it since a few times and have grown to like it short or long. I’ll always be thankful my parents let me do what I want with it, I never realized parents imposed hairstyles on kids. How silly.
In think it’s just sentimental. I can’t cut my kids hair either only Bc I don’t want to separate with a small part of her. When she asks me I will but for now the hair stays.
I really really like Will Smith’s perspective on this subject. Say what you want about their parenting, but he was on point with what he said to Willow about her hair: “We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? If I teach her that I’m in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she’s going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can’t cut my hair but that’s her hair. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she’s going out with a command that it is hers. She is used to making those decisions herself. We try to keep giving them those decisions until they can hold the full weight of their lives.”
I do think it’s a normal dad thing to be wary of daughters cutting their hair… A haircut can sometimes cause you to look a little more grown up. Plus there are tons of men that still equate long hair with youthful beauty. My dad was pretty shocked when I was a teenager and told him I was going to cut my hair. But once I did it, he said “you have the face for it. You look so pretty!” Gotta love dads 😊
My husband keeps asking how long before my daughter’s hair will grow long??? He is obsessed with her hair too. Makes a point of washing it himself because clearly I must not be meticulous enough.
I have a four year old and just cut her hair for the first time. I wasn’t being creepy by refusing to cut it before now. I looked and my baby’s beautiful long brown hair with natural honey blonde highlights faceted through it and wanted to see it for as long as I could. Afraid that when I did finally cut it, that would be the last of those beautiful colors. And guess what? It was. I suppose I was hanging on to her baby years. And I won’t sit here and criticize the man for clinging on like I did. The opposite sometimes happens too. My hubby’s ex would always cut their daughter’s bangs stupid short. Yes, I said stupid. They were about an inch and a half above her little eyebrows and her hair was chin length. One day she looks at her older step sisters and her younger sister that I had with her father and asked why she couldn’t have hair long enough to braid and bangs to pull behind her ears. Broke my heart and to this day she maintains that haircut because mom says she has to…
Wow, the over-analysis and jumping to conclusions about the little girl’s entire life, based on one casual remark by her father, is just spectacular.
I know! Everything is just discussed & over analyzed far too much.
That is sweet, how he gushes over his children.
As for the long hair thing…I refused to have anyone cut my daughters hair. It was long, thick, and gorgeous. So thick, I couldnt use ordinary hair ties.
This became a problem in sports. Especially if her hair needed to be in a bun. It looked like another head.
It’s creepy. Dads focused that much on a daughter having long hair are weird. Truth be told, Posh could never have long hair because hers is too thin, hence tons of extensions over the years. Why? Hubby probably wanted it. Now he’s pushing it onto the daughter. It’s weird. Dads need to get away from physical beauty pushing in daughters. Every dad that I know who does this (and there is definitely a type who tries to capitalize on their daughters beauty) is a deep down creeper. And it is different for moms. Moms don’t want to cut kids hair, because they don’t want to let go for nostalgic reasons. That’s it’s own issue, but it’s not creepy.
Seriously why does everyone have to read everything into one small comment.
He never said Harper wanted to cut her hair so how is he stifling her individuality?
He said Victoria suggested it and after he said he didn’t want to cut it they didn’t.
Why does Victoria’s initial idea to cut it mean more than his reluctance to cut it?
Also I think the comment about David loving harper more than the boys is more creepy based on one statement and no evidence than him not wanting to cut his daughters hair…
I wouldn’t have cut my daughter’s (4) hair but she climbed a bookcase can cut it herself. She LOVES her short hair and I don’t miss braiding it every night before bed so it didn’t get tangled.
I think the child should decide. My mother forced me to have my hair cut at 9 y.o. because she is a perfectionist and long hair does get messy.
I haven’t forgiven her to this day, seriously. I mean yeah, I am not mad at her and I understand but I didn’t forgive her. It was a major tragedy back then.
My father didn’t let my sister and me cut our hair until we were old enough to to really agitate for a haircut. On the other hand, my father is also the one who encouraged me to go to law school and said I could do anything I wanted professionally and didn’t have to get married if I didn’t want to. He also used to tell me to ignore my mother when she harassed me about giving her grandchildren, telling me that I could be and do whatever I wanted and didn’t need to have kids to live a worthwhile life. My father was a much bigger influence in my becoming a feminist than my mother. So the idea that a father liking his daughter’s hair long should be linked to archaic gender roles is a major over-reach, I think.
Normal is mundane.
I was about to go off about how totally creepy this is.
Then I saw it was The Daily Mail. They made it up.
When my daughter was 12, she insisted on getting her hair cut. (It had been cut only once before, just above her shoulders when she was about seven.) I told her she could, only if she promised not to cut it again before she graduated from high school. She agreed, got it cut, then let it grow. After she graduated she cut it short, hated it, and let it grow again. Now it’s down to her waist and she loves it. Why did I not want her hair cut? Because my mom had to cut my hair really short when I was six (waist length hair, mom out of town two weeks, dad left in charge of three young daughters with no idea how to brush or braid our hair, and I insisted on combing my own hair after it was washed), and she decided to keep it that way, so I couldn’t have long hair until high school when I was allowed to decide for myself. Projecting? Definitely. But I just liked it better long and she was my only daughter. I just had to get 4 inches cut off because it needed it, but I’m definitely in no hurry to have it cut really short again (meaning, to me, anything at the chin or above). Maybe when I’m 80…
All I gotta say is our cultural biases and influences show up in EVERYTHING we do, whether we are aware or not. So…word choices, long hair, pink…independent, princess, “never date”……tell us what he thinks. Over and out!
Her hair is beautiful, she is beautiful. I love long hair all my kids have long hair as do I.