So Britney Spears ditched her cousin/personal assistant Alli and shacked up with her bodyguard. She is said to binge drinking, eating and shopping. She is also under investigation by California Child Protective services, and they cited her for not putting gates around her pool area. It still not that interesting to me, and I don’t give a crap about Britney. She does pull a lot of dumb stunts though, and it’s hard not to pay attention to her.

Paris was sort-of caught smoking herb this week, she went out wearing a t-shirt with a pop art portrait of herself on it.

Lohan is a bit more interesting as her lesbian affair with DJ Samantha Ronson was exposed through lovey MySpace messages. She also claimed rehab saved her life and bragged about how she’s reading Machiavelli’s The Prince, which surely helps her feel justified for treating people like crap and stealing from her friends.

So who should we cover, if any of them?