The latest issue of the Enquirer claims that Brad and Angelina are getting ready to get married next Spring despite their declarations that they aren’t going to tie the knot and don’t see the necessity of doing so.

They’re said to be planning a $220 million prenup to protect their immense assets in the case of divorce and to ensure that their children are taken care of. Brad and Angelina are also said to want another biological child and one more adopted one to bring the number of children in their family at least six.

I’m kind of gullible and believed this at first, but then the Enquirer had to go and drag George Clooney’s Italian villa into it, and that’s a sure sign it’s bullshit - or maybe part of it is true and they got overeager for details.

“They don’t want anything left to chance,” an insider told The ENQUIRER. “They are straightening out all their financial arrangements before the big day so they can kiss at the altar knowing they have taken care of every eventuality…”

For now the couple want to keep the precise location of the wedding a secret, even from close family and friends, but The ENQUIRER has learned they favor an April ceremony in Italy.

“They’ve loved Italy ever since they spent time there while on a break from filing, and they’ve talked about a small wedding in Tuscany of near George Clooney’s mansion in the Lake Como region,” divulged the insider.

Angelina has also told friends she might like a simple ceremony in Vietnam, close to the orphanage where they adopted their latest adoption to the family, 3-year-old Pax.

The prenup hasn’t been finalized, but the two superstars have been ironing out their financial positions on paper. Brad’s fortune has been estimated at $150 million and Angelina’s at about $70 million…

“When they get married, they will have every last penny accounted for,” said the insider. “They are responsible parents and don’t want any confusion about what will happen should the marriage fall apart. They will ensure that Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh and Pax won’t want for a single thing for the rest of their lives. On top of that list, hopefully, will be a happily married mom and dad…

“They are planning a quiet celebration just for family and close friends,” revealed the insider. “Neither wants the kind of big fanfare that accompanied Tom Cruise’s wedding to Katie Holmes.”

[From The National Enquirer, thanks to The Bosh]

Maybe if the Enquirer had some details in there about how they figured out that there was a prenup in the works, like there was a lawyer somewhere working on it, I would believe it. Insider quotes don’t really cut it.

Meanwhile Life and Style says that Angelina is wasting away and that’s she’s dizzy and has headaches stuff. They say she is eating only watermelon and grapes.

They also include the fake quotes from Brad about how great Angelina’s body is, “Angelina is a sublime and unique work of body art. If the procurer for the Louvre saw her, he’d want to exhibit her.” [Details from Life and Style via Gossip Rocks]

That quote was reprinted in The Mirror today, and I’m pretty sure it came from a supposed interview with Brad Pitt and a journalist in a bar that never happened. It’s hard to Google for the exact facts, but from what I remember that’s a fake quote from a few months ago.

Regardless Angelina is really thin, but whether Brad is worried about her or if she only eats watery fruit is up to question.