As I finally forced myself to come to terms with this past weekend, David Bowie passed away a week ago on January 10th from cancer at the age of 69. By all accounts, Bowie managed his illness, about which he’d known for 18 months, on his own terms and his death played out as best he could control it. While much of the world tries to make sense of his loss, Bowie’s family has asked for their privacy during this difficult time. With the exception of a very few public statements, his wife, Iman, and children have let it be known they will be offline to grieve presently. Bowie’s oldest child, director Duncan Jones, briefly lifted his silence to retweet a compassionate letter from British palliative care doctor, Dr. Mark Taubert. The letter both thanks Bowie for all of his contributions to his fans’ lives and how he handled his death.
Tributes for the late David Bowie have been posted all over the world (and Internet) since the star died of cancer Jan. 10 at age 69. Bowie’s son Duncan Jones shared one letter about his legacy from a British palliative care doctor this weekend, when he retweeted a link to it this past weekend, marking the first time he’s posted something since confirming his father’s death on Jan. 11.
Dr. Mark Taubert wrote, “I am a palliative care doctor, and what you have done in the time surrounding your death has had a profound effect on me and many people I work with.”
Taubert addressed the letter to Bowie himself, and acknowledged both his musical contributions — “Thank you for the Eighties when your ChangesOneBowie album provided us with hours of joyful listening” — and the importance of how he spent his final days.
You can read Dr. Taubert’s full letter here. In addition to the music, he thanks Bowie for his 1989 performance at the Berlin wall, something that gets stuck in most people’s throats every time they reflect on it. After a few other personal nods, Dr Taubert frames the conversation of palliative care in his points of gratitude. As he says, end of life dialogues are critical to those who must have them but finding a way to introduce them is difficult. Dr. Taubert credits Bowie’s arrangement of his final months with providing a way to approach the discussion for those affected; just another of the many gifts he has left us.
It was kind of Duncan to take a moment out of his grief to bring more awareness to the letter. We were fortunate to have had Bowie for the time we did, I imagine most of us have a thank you note to him somewhere inside us. In a wonderfully felicitous tribute, Belgian music station Studio Brussel and MIRA Public Observatory have given Bowie a constellation.
1979 SNL performance: the first time David Bowie entered my world and never left.
A thank you letter to David Bowie from a palliative care doctor. https://t.co/ibFYRY8wc1 – thanks for sharing @DrMarkTaubert
— Marie Curie (@mariecurieuk) January 17, 2016
Photo credit: WENN
I thought they wanted everything private.
This is from his eldest son, an adult, not Iman or her kids. And sharing this doesn’t seem to me to break the privacy rule. I think most fans would actually appreciate it, particularly the palliative care aspects. When we lost my MIL to cancer we did not know anything, and we were struggling to learn and become educated while going through a very difficult time. Opening the conversation on this topic us a good thing.
I think it sounds like they want to release details on their own terms.
I don’t think this Tweet undermines the privacy Bowie’s family has surrounded themselves with. Duncan was shining a light on something that many families struggle with…I think this was gracious and respectful on everyone’s part.
It’s not exactly about Bowie’s illness or treatment so I dont think they have released anything private about that, more bringing awareness to the work that doctors and nurses working in the pallative care field do, and also I think putting a human face on them and how it affects them…almost like their way of saying thank you to them.
I think it’s touching
It was an open letter posted on a professional blog, not a private letter. Many of the public tributes to Bowie were written in the style of an open letter.
This one was about palliative care and the choices involved. It wasn’t in any way private. It was socially useful and I should imagine Bowie’s son felt it deserved a wider audience than the BMJ blog usually attracts.
This. I’m active on social media for healthcare. There is huge healthcare activity there with doctors tweeting and writing daily. Right now there is a debate between palliative care physicians and those who advocate for physician aided death. They’re not speaking TO or WITH each other but using any other means to speak independently (eg. using David Bowie) to push their own agenda. Palliative care is the loser to some extent if physician aided death is embraced everywhere.
So, this is more of political health football match than an honest tribute to Bowie. I mean, the doctor may love Bowie genuinely, but the way this was written, to those of us in healthcare, is …. smarmy.
Just to note, this post was on the official blog of the BMJ, which is the peer review journal owned and operated by the BMA – the official doctors professional association and trade union combined in the UK. It wasn’t a personal blog. So I’d be inclined to disagree that he was in any way participating in a health-related political football. More representing the settled procedures for terminal care in the NHS. I doubt physician aided death even entered his mind: we don’t have it here. Although there is a debate, there is no infighting between doctors on it and the BMA has a settled position. Doctors don’t compete in that way here, even when there are differences of opinion.
I’m entirely sure this was intended as part Bowie tribute, part explanation of terminal care and choice in the NHS, and part imparting of best practice to colleagues.
The letter may be from a palliative care physician but it is not from anyone who treated Bowie. There is nothing personal to Bowie in it. It’s the personal experience of the physician reacting to Bowie from afar, learning from what Bowie did make public, and expressing his appreciation.
As a person who was trained in acute and critical care and now works in a very small hospital where you have to be jack of all trades, I wholeheartedly disagree with this letter bring “smarmy”. Yes, his writing style is OTT, no doubt. But the message is spot-on. End of life care, for many people who are not lucky enough to either have access to professional palliative care or perhaps just are too much in denial to want to have the conversation, is something that we sadly get consistently wrong in medicine. If I had a nickel for every patient I have encountered who was blindsided by his or her own mortality, or just never had “the conversation” about end of life for whatever reason (we still don’t do death well in the western world), I would
be a very rich woman indeed. If there was ever anything you would want to try and control, it’s how you make your exit. We have the technology, you (or those who know and love you) just have to be brave enough to take the first step.
Nice his son highlighted the letter.
They have kept everything respectful and private.
I lost my own father to cancer, right around this time of year, so this feels like it has doubly hit home for me. Personally, I get exhausted from all the “f*ck cancer” and heroism rhetoric regarding the fight (although no judgement on those who find it useful), perhaps because my own father was so soundly and quickly defeated. I very much admire the way in which the emphasis, even in this letter, has been on the manner of his life, which is worthy of celebration, and not his death.
And I’m happy to see the ongoing tributes, which still thrill. I never saw the SNL performance, so thanks for that.
I’m sorry about your father, t.fanty. I have watched several loved ones lose to cancer, and have had it myself, and could not agree more about the unhelpful (to me) rhetoric and the need to celebrate life.
I don’t like the war/battle/fight metaphors about illness, either. I don’t know if you recall the journalist John Diamond (first husband of Nigella Lawson) who wrote a column after his diagnosis of oral cancer right up until his death. He said:
“I despise the set of warlike metaphors that so many apply to cancer. My antipathy has nothing to do with pacifism and everything to do with a hatred for the sort of morality which says that only those who fight hard against their cancer survive it or deserve to survive it – the corollary being that those who lose the fight deserved to do so.”
Anniversaries of death are hard, aren’t they? Easter is ruined for me since my mother died on Easter Sunday. Sympathies and grief solidarity to you. x
I’m sorry about your mother.
I agree with John Diamond’s words, absolutely. I think it was Christopher Hitchens who said something like “I’m not fighting cancer, it’s fighting me”.
I can’t stand the notion that if just WANT to live enough, you can beat death. I believe people don’t like acknowledging that every single one of us WILL die, and IS vulnerable to any sort of misfortune. (Along the same lines, I hated the show “How I Survived” because most of the subjects would describe their luck in living through some disaster and then finish by saying “I survived because I had more to do in life” or “I survived because God was looking out for me”. Infuriating. No one could have fought harder than the person I lost to glioblastoma, no one could have had a better attitude – it still didn’t stop it.
So sorry about your father, t fanty.
Cancer is personal. It affects every body differently. We must all choose our own way of dealing with it and others need to respect those chooses.
Beautiful letter, and a powerful way of showing the ways in which art makes all of us richer – even and possibly especially at our most vulnerable moments. Blessings on Dr. Taubert for writing it, and to Duncan for sharing it.
Thanks to all who are tired of the ‘fighting’ descriptions. There are many diseases that rob people of dignity and independence that no amount of fighting can ultimately stop.
I am hoping that G. Frey’s passing will shine a spotlight on the devastating effects of RA and the strong medications used for it. He passed in a way similar to my mother — a myriad of issues mostly traced back to RA and its medication(s).
Many diseases are misunderstood. The people suffering them need help and compassion, not a big pep talk as if they aren’t doing enough.
T Fanty, I am very sorry for your loss. Michael C Hall just recently spoke to People Magazine about David’s death and also mentioned how he is uncomfortable with the language surrounding cancer (going from his own experiences with having cancer)
http://www.people.com/article/michael-hall-discusses-playing-david-bowies-character
I took this letter as from a Doctor who admired Bowie’s work but also the fact that the impression is being given that Bowie had made his end of life wishes expressively clear to his Doctors and loved ones. That Bowie did have those conversations and Bowie’s death helped this patient and doctor speak openly about her treatment and how she wished to be treated for her remaining days.
I also wanted to speak on Glenn Frey, another talent who will be missed, and echo what Christin said about effects of RA and strong effects of the medicines used to fight it. I knew and know of people who have battled not only the disease but what the medicines used to treat it bring about.
Frey’s manager gave an interview linking an unnamed medicine to his problems. Not a huge surprise, as biologics can ultimately reduce if not outright destroy the RA patient’s ability to fight infection. Staph, pneumonia, etc., can suddenly explode in the RA patient.
RA and its treatment (some of which are cancer drugs) can be a catch-22, similar to cancer and its treatment.
The Michael C Hall interview excerpted in People, is from The Guardian, and is a very rewarding read!
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2016/jan/17/michael-c-hall-on-playing-bowie-on-stage-and-why-death-stalks-him
Me too, T.Fanty my dad died 3 days before Christmas over 20 years ago. It is a horrible disease and if it was as easy as “fighting it” more people would win. It’s a b*****d
Yes, yes, and more yes. I’m all for people fighting cancer however they can get through it. However, the rhetoric of “cancer can’t beat me” is somewhat insulting to those of us who were left behind because cancer takes people, regardless of their fighter mentality. I was at a concert where Melissa Etheridge played her cancer song (the name escapes me) and introduced it saying cancer didn’t defeat her because she had a lot more living to do. As if my mom didn’t… It’s just a sore spot, but not like I’d say anything about it to someone fighting cancer. 🙂
I’m completely with you. I agree with the idea that you have to find your own strength when you’re fighting cancer. It makes you feel like a squashed bug from the outset, or it did me. I eventually found some courage by thinking about how good my doctors were, how loving and supportive my friends and family were, and from my faith. BUT I get off the train when people start acting like they “defeated” cancer in some personal fist fight. I survived because I was lucky enough to have a form of cancer that is highly curable, not because of anything I did, or how much I wanted to live. And the people who had to look death in the face and accept that they were being cheated out of years of their lives are the ones who are the bravest, in my opinion. I’m so sorry about your mother, and for everyone who has lost loved ones to this monster.
Duncan is such a sweet guy and talented director. You hear horror stories of adult children with their rocker parents and nothing ever from him. And Bowie had custody of him after the divorce. He toured with his dad until teens, but was protected from all of his father’s excesses and didn’t see any of that.
Duncan’s fiancee was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 . She had a double mastectomy and chemo. It was a tough year. Then his father is diagnosed with cancer in 2014. Rough time for him. He went down to the courthouse and married her the day they got the diagnosis. When she shaved her head, he shaved his. He’s a compassionate guy and adored his father.
Bowie was such a good looking man in his prime. RIP.
In his prime? He was 57 on his last tour in 2004 and was still hot.
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hbSN458FZPQ/hqdefault.jpg
He looked good at 57 but nothing like when he was younger.
He was so timeless, too. I’ve been watching videos and if you didn’t know the date, it’s hard to tell the year by looking at him. So beyond the fashion of the times and yes, SO good looking. Sigh.
And his son looks nothing like him. I would have never guessed they were immediate family.
I thought the same thing the way he looks now in his 40s, dark hair, rounder face, thicker built. Then I read an older article where Bowie talked about at times he would look at his son and it was like looking at himself. I found this photo of dad and son together at David and Iman’s wedding.
It’s uncanny how much he looked like his dad back when he was younger (around 20) and leaner and had lighter hair. He looks like a younger version of his father in this photo.
https://davidbowienews.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/david-bowie-iman-wedding-duncan-jones-joe-3.jpg?w=640
Jayna
Thanks for that image. Wow- he does look a lot like his father there.
It’s amazing how people’s looks can change with age. We discuss it a lot with the Royals sp- William and Harry.
I’m still in shock by his death, there have been so many touching tributes. As for his family i hope the have some peace in knowing how loved and respected David was by his fans. Hopefully recording Blackstar helped David with his transition into his next journey.
Ugh, geoblocking. Foiled from seeing that video yet again.
#RIPBowie
Living and dying with grace, David Bowie the epitome of an icon.
Cancer. I hate it. Both my parents diagnosed and dead within two years. And now David and Alan. Ugh. I couldn’t read the whole letter. Maybe I can someday. I will miss him-such a magical person. Kind of a human unicorn (no disrespect, I mean it.) I love that he did it on his own terms all through his life.
Go palliative and hospice care! End of life can be such a terrifying, confusing time, and whether they’re doing so for their own motives or because they think it’s what the patient/patient’s family wants, it seems like some doctors want to extend life at all costs. I am so glad that there seems to be a shift taking place so that there is room for these conversations, especially before there is a “need.” What do you want your end to look like? Last weeks? What does “quality of life” mean to you? And sensitive caregivers are as important at the end of life as they are at the beginning. Nicely done, Mr. Jones.
My husband’s aunt, to whom we were very close, died peacefully at home as she wished thanks to hospice workers. God bless them. They were gentle but frank with us, and helped us know what to expect. They were wonderful to her. I can’t say enough good things about them.
It was nice to see you two and reading your words in this conversation.
I’ve been so disheartened by failure of some hospice orgs and reps to even be willing to speak to quality of life for those near end. This is due to other conflict gaining traction worldwide (physician aided death).
The way you each shared your stories is exactly what all of it is and should be about for everyone. Thank you.
“We were fortunate to have had Bowie for the time we did, I imagine most of us have a thank you note to him somewhere inside us.” For some reason I read this as “Most of us imagine we have a part of him inside us” and I’ve so been feeling this lately. The oddball inside 🙂
Thank you for continuing to post about David Bowie’s passing. I knew you were a Bowie fan so came here soon after hearing the news. There are many of us who are still grieving. Personally, I am reeling and having tearful moments everyday. Reading your updates have been helpful.
Thank you Neener for saying exactly how I feel too. And thank you Celebitchy.
Our Brixton Boy. Always and Forever. <3
I am still grieving, actively tearing up at least once a day…he meant to much to so many. Been designing my first tattoo, in his honor…
I agree with you re: the intensity of widespread grief his death triggered. It feels like a permanent hurt. I’m sure your tattoo will be amazing.
Thanks for that post and the SNL video. I remember watching that originally and just bring giddy about how “out there” he was. I have been fascinated by David Bowie since I was about 12 years old. Just always thought he was so elegant, so captivating, so unique. I either was in love with him or wanted to be him…or both. He, his life and his death were all a work of art. Sad to have lost this gifted man but the body of work he left us is glorious. There will never be another quite like him. RIP Thin White Duke.