Daisy Ridley is a tiny little thing. I suspect she’s just a very petite young woman naturally. I honestly didn’t think too much about her size while I was watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens, mostly because JJ Abrams created a capable, intelligent, emotionally strong and physically strong character with Rey. She’s capable in combat, and she’s capable intellectually (likely because the Force is strong with her). Rey is, I hope, a wonderful role model for little girls. But someone didn’t think Daisy is a role model because, and I sh-t you not, “real women have curves.” Ugh, I thought we were done with this conversation years ago.
Daisy Ridley is standing up for all women of all shapes and sizes. The Star Wars: Force Awakens actress found herself the victim of a recent body-shaming attack in which an Instagram user said she “set unrealistic expectations” for young girls because “real women have curves.” However, Ridley was quick to inform the user that, in fact, all women are “real” women.
“‘Real women’ are all shapes and sizes, all ethnicities, all levels of brave. I am a ‘real woman’ like every other woman in this world. What’s weird is most of the time I see such gorgeous messages from people around the world,” she began. “People who relate to something in Rey they haven’t found in a female character before…It is much more hurtful to continue to slate other women than BE a woman, BE a character, BE whoever you want to be.”
She added, “I’m a normal girl thrust into extraordinary circumstances, just like Rey. I will not apologise for how I look, what I say and how I live my life cause what’s happening inside is much more important anyway and I am striving to be the best version of myself, even if I stumble along the way.”
Thus, she has a bit of advice for not only those who have a problem with the way she looks, but who have a problem with anyone else in life: “Remember that expression, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Kindness isn’t going to cure the world of all its awfulness but it’s a good place to begin.”
Daisy ended up deleting her original Instagram, which called out the Instagram critic specifically, and then Daisy replaced it with the Instagram below. As for Daisy’s reaction… she’s perfect. She handled that really well. If you have to react to an online critic, this is a good way to do it. Why can’t people understand: some women have curves and some women don’t. Some women are petite, some are tall, some are big-busted and some are narrow-hipped. And they’re all Real Women.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
god forbid – she doesn’t have a boob job and a silicone clown ass.
Even if she did, she’d still be awesome <3
Seriously!
The picture in question was satire. It was making fun of the “real women have curves” crowd. It is actually saying that Daisy IS a real and Beautiful woman. Apparently the girl who posted it on instagram is a huge fan of daisy, has mental disabilities, and English isn’t her first language.
I have small boobs and narrow hips so I guess I am not a real woman according to some people.
I should get a boob job and get ass implants to become one.
Me too. Do you know where we go to turn in our Women Cards?
Guess I have to turn mine in as well. I’m also quite short, too, and it really gets my goat when people say that men who are attracted to tiny women must be peadophiles.
Sloaney – people actually say that???????
LOL I’ll have to get in line too. Fellow rectangles unit! lol
They do. It’s so gross.
I’ve heard the peadophile thing before… on this site once too actually.
I have to turn mine in, too. I’m long and lanky with small boobs.
Me too. Oh, well-guess I’m not a real woman either. I was also told once that I wasn’t a “real woman” because I don’t have kids but that’s another story. This “real woman” stuff has got to go.
I also have very small boobs and no ass and one of my friends, who is constantly seeking validation from a lame ass BF, told me: “You are single cause men like ass and boobs”.
WOW just WOW.
With friends like that……
that’s a friend??
she tryin to make you feel as weak as she. . … beware. it doesn’t get better w/ friends like that.
Wow, some friend.
I kinda get where the “real women have curves” thing comes from. I used to be fat, and when you’re told every day that you’re ugly, wrong, lazy and unaccebtable, it’s naturally to feel anger and resentment. Unfortunately, sometimes that anger gets directed at the wrong people, as it happened here. We shouldn’t put down other people to make ourselves feel better, but that’s sometimes hard to do.
I was chubby as a tween into my teens and was teased for it so I know both sides of it. As much as it stings to be teased for being overweight, being told that you are somehow “less” of a woman because you don’t fit a certain mold is insulting in a way that I had never experienced before the Dove campaign.
BTW I’m not saying one is better/worse, I’m just saying that we need to do more to make every woman feel accepted. That’s why you will always see me sticking up for women who are not of a conventional size, whether deemed “too fat” or “too skinny”.
I completely agree with you. It’s just that it’s hard to understand the other side, sometimes, you know?
It’s also because, I wasn’t chubby. I was fat. And people made sure I was aware of it every second of my life. and my character was also evaluated based on my appearance ( all fat people are lazy apparently). So to me, skinny will never be a bad word. But I understand why it might be to some people. These things will keep happening for as long as society bases a woman’s value on her appearance. There are some changes now, but I’m not sure it will ever truly stop.
Daisy is awesome. And she seems to be a good actress. But if she was heavier she would never ever be a leading lady, regardless of her talent. There is a privilege to being thin.
It seriously hurts me when I read stories like yours, Locke. The body image issue is one that’s very close to my heart so it resonates with me on a very personal level.
Gah. People can be so incredibly cruel 🙁
Internet hugs to you, my friend ♥
Aaaw, thank you so much! Internet hugs to you too 🙂
count me in with the no boobs, no bum and no curves whatsoever. and it’s so insulting when people go on about ‘real women have curves’ because i understand where they come from, but it’s also true that many women aren’t naturally curvy, and why should they be seen as lesser women? women come in different shapes, and none is better than the other.
Well; I had a super uncomfortable situation with a surgeon once. I went in to do this super standard proceedure; had something on my breast that had to go and be examined. So I only got a local and through it I was chatting with a plasstic surgeon. I should note that even though it’s nothing big; lying on a table in an OR is stresfull. So the surgeon is talking to me and at one point he says: “you know, your breasts are not fully developed”. I look at him and am thinking “is this guy trying to sell me bigger boobs right now? So I tell him: “You know what: I really like my breasts the way they are. I don’t have to wear bra and can shop kids sizes if I want to. And once I have my baby they will be just perfect”. So he shut up about it. I got a giggle out from the nurse. Assholes are everywhere; women just need to learn to love themselves and will be just fine. I actually always loved my breasts.
You handled that SO much better than I would have…l would have had a sh*t fit if some doctor said that to me. What an ahole.
he was probably trying to get you to have surgery by playing with your self esteem, which is quite low. i love your answer btw.
I’m not usually like that; I kick and shout; I still think I managed to play it cool due to sedation 🙂
He told you your breasts weren’t fully developed?!? I’m barely an A cup, but my breasts are as developed as God wanted them to be. It’d be cool if I woke up tmrw & was a B, but it’ll be cool when I wake up tmrw & am still an A.
I’m not skinny and say this as a person that could loose some weight. Honestly curves now has now become a description for overweight women wanting to use flattering terms versus calling themselves overweight. The meaning itself has been distorted. A lot of women claiming to have curves, really don’t have them, its more of them being overweight than actually curvy. To me curves is the hourglass shape and MOST women don’t have it. Not even women with boobs and some hips. Know this comment may get me thrown in a dungeon and locked away but women need to stop comparing themselves to politically correct terms and accept their bodies as they are and like them….and stop shaming those with all body types. We are shaming ourselves when we think our body type is the only acceptable one and latch onto terms that invent a body type we don’t even possess.
I completely agree. Everytime we have this body image discussion, I am forced to correct someone with a confused idea of the word “curvy”.
I get you. I’m small with an hourglass figure. I’ve had people meet me and be genuinely surprised because I was described as curvy and they thought I would be overweight.
That said I think we should always take descriptions with a grain of salt because it can be REALLY dependent on the person doing the describing. Here in the US I have brown hair. When I’m on the west coast it’s described as medium, on the east coast light brown. When I go to Kenya the hairstylist insists I’m blonde! It’s all relative you know? So you’re right that you should just start accepting you for you, regardless of the adjectives.
YES! Thanks for speaking the truth with courage Isabelle. I too have noticed that most women who are considerably overweight euphemize their rolls of fat as “curves”. These tend to also be the same women who say things like “eat a sandwich!” to those of us who aren’t blessed with their…er…curves.
You ladies can borrow my hips and boobs… LOL
I agree Women come in all shapes and sizes doesn’t make you less of a woman
It was ONE PERSON that made the comment. If you want to be in the public eye, you need thicker skin. You can’t let the opinion of ONE PERSON get under your skin. Maybe if we ignored the trolls they would go away.
Oh, how I disagree with you, @Mare. Do you think it’s okay to assume that once people reach a great goal and become more famous they lose their choice to react to some pissy stranger? Btw, I think having a thick skin actually means something even better in this case: to have the strength, seize your own power to speak up and stand tall after (=even though) someone put a spoke in your wheel, humiliated you or got on your nerves. I think she reacted very well & didn’t lose her poise, which makes it even cooler. I think famous people choosing their battles and reacting to a troll every once in a while is healthy and it dissolves the partition behind which trolls and bullies feel safe. By reacting to a comment coming from one person, you discontinue feeding the illusion of famous people being superhumans who could never be insulted or hurt. Anyway, yay for this woman.
No, you can just wait till you’re 40.
Well if you’re discussing it on here then you must really be having a body image issue.
Good for her, trolls need to be named and shamed. She seems like a nice person who’s making the most of her opportunities.
While I don’t defend the woman making these comments, I feel like I have never heard as much body shaming from women as I have from men – ranking women solely on hotness, or commenting on their T and A (or lack thereof) all the time; or shaming women for being too un-feminine -i.e. too tall, or having too many muscles, or they are too ‘bossy,’ or too skinny, or too fat.
Obviously both sexes do this “not a real woman” crap; it’s wrong from both genders, but let’s not pretend there isn’t patriarchal crap tied into the message of what a “real” woman is or isn’t, and that’s what I think we should be focusing on.
I think it’s the opposite.
Whenever there appear pics of a female celeb showing belly or cellulite, I see lots and lots of women laughing at her while I couldn’t care less.
I’m really happy she said that, I’m so tired of hearing the “real women” thing. No one is ever good enough, always too big, too small, too tall, too short…It needs to stop, it’s not helping anyone. Unfortunately we’re doing this to ourselves, it’s pretty much always other women who say “real women this, real women that”.
yeah, the fact it’s women saying these things makes it 100 times worse.
Me too. I don’t even get the whole “real woman” thing. Isn’t every woman a real woman? Unless you are fembot.
We as women should be celebrating women’s diversity instead of trying to box ourselves and other women into what society or other people think a woman should be. Let’s get ourselves out of the 1800s and into a more women-friendly future.
I have a friend who used to model with Naomi and the rest in the 80’s, she was thin as a rail. Now sh’es 40lbs heavier and all about the “real women have curves” thing, as if she were not a real woman before. I told her it made no sense and she basically refused to listen. If you want to be empowered by your body, that’s great, but it doesn’t mean you have to disempower women with different body types.
PREACH, Kaiser.
I cannot STAND the “real women have curves” bullsh*t. I also can’t with the commenters around here who feel the need to compare any thin woman to a pre-pubescent boy.
Also, I might look “skinny” but I’m STRONG as f*ck so don’t make the mistake of confusing thin for weak. I’m matching the same weight as dudes in my weight-training classes and I can outrun your ass so don’t even start with me lol.
That reminds me of this Instagram video Daisy posted a few months ago:
https://www.instagram.com/p/6puNsxFE1e/
I was about to post the same thing. She’s strong as f*ck! I was so impressed
Here Here to being strong!!!
Watch Daisy kick the sh*t out of this 176lb deadlift. (Hope the link works)
https://www.instagram.com/p/6puNsxFE1e/
GAH! – Looks like Samtha beat me to it – hahahaha.
HELL YEAH!!!! I haven’t even seen the new Star Wars yet but I’m LOVING this woman.
Thanks for sharing that, guys.
As a curvy woman I must say that I also hate the “real women have” statements. Soo annoying. As if not having curves makes you any less of a woman. It’s a stupid and senseless statement. I know it was created to make curvy women feel accepted and celebrated but there’s no need to bash slim women while doing so. So glad Daisy spoke out.
Hi Almond-Yes, but don’t think that us thin chicks aren’t envious of our curvy sisters. I’m doing squats for days just trying to keep that “pop” in my little butt lol. We just need to support each other and lift each other up, whether thin, fat, curvy, muscular, whatever.
I bet that booty is lookin amazing 😉And don’t think some of us curvy gals aren’t jealous of our slim sisters! We always want what we don’t have. But there’s so much beauty in the female form that I agree about lifting each other up. We can celebrate all bodies and love our differences.
Aw thanks Almond.
“We can celebrate all bodies and love our differences.”
Couldn’t have said it any better ♥
+1
‘I also can’t with the commenters around here who feel the need to compare any thin woman to a pre-pubescent boy.’
i’ve been told i looked like a 12 year old boy countless time, and it’s really hurtful. women need to stop doing this to each other.
Kitten, I’m really sensitive. I can’t help it. I can’t cry at the drop of a hat about anything! LOL Happy tears, funny tears, tired tears, sad tears, stressed tears…I just cry. Some people view this as a weakness. I’m not sure why? I once told someone “The dumbest thing he ever did was mistake my tears for a sign of weakness!!!!” I am so strong mentally, and physically. Your comment reminded me of that awesome saying I came up with. 🙂 I am also skinny and people are surprised when I don’t need my husband to do things for me. I’m like I GOT THIS!!!
Empathy is a trait that should be commended, not criticized and to hell with anyone who says otherwise, HeyThere.
Real women have bodies. There, fixed it.
Yeah and to add to what you said down-thread, we’re more than our bodies but also, our bodies can do AMAZING things. It’s why fitness is so appealing to me: I love seeing what my body can do and I’m consistently surprised at what it’s capable of.
I hate when people assume because I’m thin I am also helpless. As if my size makes me weak internally and externally or feel free to make comments. My sister is tiny and weighs under a 100 pounds but is active and is naturally just petite. People try to treat her like a little girl and she hates it. I’m much taller but was teased because my skinny body developed awkwardly. It made me very self conscious at vulnerable age. I love the unsolicited advice about stop starving myself and food is my friend. I do have a shape but it’s just a thinner athletic silhouette.
I hate those real woman comments. Her character was very cool and yet the commenter focused on her body instead.
I like her.. but the truth is there have been many strong females in movies that have not depended on men; and were strong role models for young girls. Rey is not the first nor the last to be the Hero of the film.
we keep having this conversation about body because women don’t know what they want. And I say women because a vast majority of the negative about women’s bodies are coming from other women.. You are too fat; too skinny; your boobs are too small; too bit; you have too much curve, you have no curves; you are too tall; too short; your ass is too big; your ass it too flat; you are too this or too that; not enough this or that.
I see comments all the time that attack what a woman is body wise. It has not changed. Women are many things. and until other women embrace that every body type is fine because all women are different this will be the way.
agree so much, well put.
Women are the ones that manufacture these pretend body shaming wars and then they point the finger at men for them. I’m sure it was women behind the whole “real women have curves” “c-sections aren’t giving birth” “my eyebrows are still there after I wash my face” etc.. crap just to stir drama up for fun. I’ve been 188 lbs at 5’8″ with a cup size of 38 DD and didn’t judge skinny women. Currently am 133 lbs with zero boobs and in the negative ass wise and don’t judge curvy women. I’ve given birth naturally and felt like I was literally dying and watched 6 c-sections happen and think they are both just as intense and brave. I had drawn on eyebrows for years and finally grew them out and it really pisses me off when I see that meme. Like all women can grow perfectly shaped brows. No. Mine are like Andy Rooney’s. I think a lot of women are like me and seriously don’t give a damn about what other girls look like. But that catty, awful few make us all look like we are all miserable bitches.
PS Just wanted to add that I have been a jealous girl for most of my life. Ironically, it’s taken these pretend internet wars to see what a waste of time it was and how stupid I sounded bashing other girls.
She is awesome. Didn’t know anything about her before SW but now I love her. So encouraging to see young actresses who come across as intelligent, mature, well-spoken and compassionate, rather than the airheads who always talk about their hair, beauty routine, or have vague, buzzword filled “I am a feminist” comments but can’t say anything substantial about it because they’re clueless. Go Daisy.
Wouldn’t it be great if “all women” with all different shapes and sizes were given the same opportunities to be the lead in Hollywood films. Unfortunately most actresses are supposed to be a size 0 according to executives.
This. I think it was a knee-jerk reaction by the troll on her timeline who was probably just sick of all the leading ladies being super thin.
Funny how the “reality” show “stars” are all silicone laden and the leading actresses are super thin.
Actresses like Jennifer Lawrence and models like Gigi Hadid have lost tons of weight. It’s super crazy how these women are pressured to stay as thin as possible to work and be admired.
both jlaw and gigi are slim and healthy, what’s wrong with that? i mean i completely agree that all women of all sizes should be given opportunities, but dragging other women is never the way.
Jennifer Lawrence and Gigi Hadid were very slim. They STILL lost weight. Have you seen pics of Gigi lately? It’s tragic that models and actresses are supposed to be as thin as possible or they can’t get work. They can never been thin enough for the media and executives.
Audiences are at fault as well. Ever read boards or social media of actresses that are in their normal range? Viewers are vicious when it comes to women being over a size 2.
She’s a tiny thing with some super awesome muscles. There is absolutely nothing ‘wrong’ with or unfeminine about her body.
As a curvy woman, the whole Real Women Have Curves message annoys the hell out of me. How can you prompt the acceptance of curvy bodies, but slam thin petite women and deem them less than? It’s so so SIMPLE, REAL women are ALL women!!!
I agree Cali. I hate that for decades we’ve been told the shape a woman must have. Actually, who am I kidding…it’s been hundreds of years. I feel like this is the year the ‘bustle’ seems to be making a come back (instead of just under your dress though it’s injected under your skin). If men/women have a certain preference of body-type they prefer to pursue…that’s fine. But I’m tired of the media/society always deciding one body type is more ‘worthy’ than the other. I have boobs now but when I was 16 my ‘friends’ would always tease me about my lack of boobs and I definitely thought I wasn’t a “real woman”. I hope by the time my daughter is that age we are in a new age of acceptance.
I have no boobs, but kind of a big ass. I’m ok with being only half woman.
lol
Drew, LOL!
I’m the opposite. Big boobs, non existent ass. I used to care so much what people thought about me and how I looked but nowadays IDGAF what anyone thinks of my body. It functions fine and that’s all I care about.
Also the Real Woman have curves thing has always been annoying.
Damn you two with your half woman selves. I’m not even that. I’ve been looking for my penis, but I can’t find it either. What exactly am I?
Wow, we have centaurs on this board!
Have big boobs & shoulders but a small butt with slim hips. If I didn’t have the boobs, I would be ruler shaped lol. I’ve always wanted some hips and more butt to balance it all out.
She plays a woman left in the desert for over a decade, scavenging to survive. I’m pretty sure her build is spot on.
ha ha good point!
What a great girl she is. I just wish she wouldn’t have deleted the original post (although I get why she did it).
I agree but why did the producers make her lose weight before star wars? She said she lived on tuna or whatever fish she ate and she was working out at the gym with a personal trainer.
And it’s not like she was heavy or anything before, she was slim. She clearly lost weight for the movie even though she was slim before.
Again, why? Why the need to lose weight? yes the camera adds ten pounds, it’s not a myth but it still was not necessary imo. What’s ten pounds on an already thin girl? The working out was never to build muscles for rey, it was about toning a skinny body. That’s why she lived on such little calories that she complained about in interviews.
I didn’t see that anywhere, do you have a source?
Well for the character? It actually makes sense. She’s spent a decade on a desert planet doing hard manual labor for meager food rations. She looked perfect for those circumstances. I sincerely hope that is why they asked.
I hate to say it because I adored Jennifer Lawrence in the Hunger Games, but visually she never fit my vision of that character (she looked far too healthy). That said, her performance sold it.
I guess the question is figuring out where the line is and making sure directors/producers don’t abuse it.
I’m sure I’m in the minority, but I think Real Women Have Curves wasn’t originally meant to say If You Are Thin, You Aren’t A Real Woman. Obviously, it has been taken like that, and people like this troll have used it as an insult, but I think it was an innocent mistake by Dove and was simply meant to embrace curvier women before it was popular. It could have been worded better, and I can see how women without curves were hurt, but it’s sort of sad that an attempt to say that everyone doesn’t have to be five eleven and weigh 110 pounds was turned into another way to make women feel bad about themselves.
99.9% of women celebrated in the media as models and actresses are super thin ( whether by nature or starvation) . There are literally no actresses who have lead roles in a tv show or film who are heavier than a size 8 or 10. So that’s why some “curvier” women have been questioning their exclusion. It’s a valid concern.
Ok so the solution is for a company who’s primary consumer is women to tell us that some women are ‘real’ women and others are not based solely on their body type?
That’s why I have a problem with it: because it wasn’t a message sent to men who perpetuate the Thin Ideal, it was a way to divide women and reinforce this idea that one body type is “preferable”. It was a pat on the back for certain women and a slap in the face to others.
Mainly, it wasn’t helpful to the discussion, quite the opposite actually. At the risk of reiterating what has been said an impossible number of times around here: women come in ALL shapes and sizes and THAT’S the message of inclusion and acceptance that we should be reinforcing.
Melissa McCarthy. Rebel Wilson. Kirstie Alley. Roseanne Barr. Kathy Bates. Granted, it’s not very many, and their weight was probably joked on at their expense, which is gross. But “literally” none? Not so much.
For the record, I love seeing women of all shapes and sizes and colors on my tv.
Apart from Kathy Bates, they’re all comedians. Alley was thin when she started.
There are women of all shapes and sizes on TV ( OITNB for an example is amazing in that regard), but films are still behind. To be in a mainstream movie, and actress has to be slim and beautiful,
I don’t disagree with Kitten that it is problematic that a company selling a product started that conversation, but I do remember those times and there really wasn’t much diversity in shape at all. I despise the Kardashians with the heat of a thousand suns, but that was part of a cultural shift to acknowledging multiple shapes (real or not) and we do see a little more diversity. With a long way to go, no doubt.
@AlarmJaguar-Oh TOTALLY agree with you and while I see the irony of white women with surgically-enhanced butts being the ones to turn the tide of public opinion–alas, that is the reality.
…and ultimately it’s a good thing when we see high-profile women who represent a departure from the Thin Ideal. Diversity is never ever bad IMO.
There are ! Melissa , Roseanne , what size is mindy? If her body were my height (5’10) with that shape she’d be at least a 14 I think (love her!)
Queen latifa
Viola Davis
Phyllis
I have a slightly different perspective in that I see it solely as a marketing campaign meant to appeal to a certain demographic of women who felt disenfranchised. It was savvy and smart and it worked in that the people who wanted that reinforcement (i.e. to feel “better than”) got it. But that’s all it was: a smart ad campaign. I don’t think Dove had any genuinely good intention beyond trying to sell soap to the average American woman.
Meanwhile, it sent the very opposite message to those of us who avoid holding any body type up as the “preferred” physique. It sent a message of exclusion, it said that anyone who isn’t X is < . It was divisive as f*ck and it's why Dove will never get my money. I know that might sound extreme but I really hate that a soap company was totally cool with contributing to an image war among women because, catchy tagline and soap sales. Ugh. Sorry for the rant…the Real Woman sh*t is one of my biggest pet peeves (as you can probably tell lol).
I agree that Dove’s “Self-esteem” fund is a joke. The same company owns Axe body spray! Real female body positivity in those commercials! Although I feel the company might be growing because their latest Axe commercial at the super bowl did away with stereotypical masculinity by including a wide variety of men.
My issue with the real women have curves is also the terminology. Curves have always been accepted if they are the “Right curves”. Afterall, we all know the infamous story of the coke bottle being shaped like a woman. It’s always been fine to be curvy but only if your ‘curves’ were limited to your boobs and butt with a tiny waist. So I always found it odd that apple shaped women (like myself) embraced the “Real women have curves” slogan because to me whenever men discuss curves they mean someone that’s hour glass with a tiny waist.
SO MUCH YES to everything you said, pinetree33.
I have male friends who actually discuss women having a nice “hip-to-waist ratio”..I mean, come ON.
Agree pine tree! And I think it’s weird because the dialogue around the definition of “curves” has changed over the years and is very subjective.
Well, you are certainly correct that the wording was poor. We can argue about the intention all day, as neither of us really knows. And you’re probably right that I’m silly to give generous motivations to a big corporation. The bottom line is, regardless of their intentions, it came out in a way that offended thin woman. Which is too bad, because some message needs to be sent to women who aren’t skinny that they are ok.
Lots of carcigens in dove anyways! Good that you don’t use
Agree pinetree13 – Dove & axe
talk out of both sides of their heads – – it’s purely marketing at the expense of women’s self esteem, imho.
I used to be curvy and loved those commercials. Still do. But it wasn’t until I developed eating disorders and lost a ton of weight, muscle and breast tissue that I was able to see where skinny girls were coming from with being offended. To me, those girls had zero room to complain. like.. They get everything else in life so I’m going to be proud of my 38DD’s! Then I started losing them and losing them to the point where I have to depend on perfectly sculpted and heavily padded push up bras from Victoria’s Secret just to look like I have boobs at all. I look a lot less conventially “woman” like now. My ribs literally stick out more than my breasts. Shirts droop off me and my skin droops off my chest. Sometimes, I honestly feel like a genderless human. I think the “real women have curves” thing hurts women in a much deeper level than just superficially. In that it makes our bodies seem almost unfit to reproduce. Our hips were meant to spread at puberty to be able to pass a baby. Our breasts were meant to feed the baby. Even female gorilla’s breasts get larger to signal that they are to mate. Those curves serve a reproductive purpose. To say to another woman that she isn’t a woman because she lacks those things is taking away her identity as a female.
Really appreciate you sharing your perspective as someone who’s been on either end of the weight spectrum. I think the takeaway for us should be that there’s always going to be something that we envy about other women, but we need to find a way to embrace our own unique body types and be proud that. Not saying it’s easy but that’s the only way we win this battle because society won’t stop pressuring women to look a certain way. We have to collectively fight against that while supporting and loving each other for our differences, you know?
Thanks Kitten and I agree with you. I think for most women, it takes a lot of work to admit to ourselves or others that we are jealous of other women. Our competitiveness seems hard wired. I remember sitting next to my future sister-in-law in 5th grade who had gorgeous, super thick, naturally curly hair and staring at it and being so jealous of it because mine is stick straight and fine. I had no other reason to dislike her other than she has hair that I would kill for. I had a real and irrational hatred of someone I never even talked to. This lasted until adulthood when I married her brother. Then I had a daughter who has the same exact hair and looks identical to her aunt. Now she’s being teased like crazy by other jealous girls at her school because of it. Because of jealous girls like me.
Good for her! She seems really awesome.
This whole “Real Women Have Curves” thing is used to tell women without traditional curves that they aren’t good enough and then curvy women are told to lose weight and then if they drop weight, they are told they need curves.
Let’s encourage each other to be healthy and happy and love the bodies we have. My body is not healthy and I need to lose weight. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t love myself and I am trying to lose weight because I love my body, not because I hate it. That has made such a difference for me.
I’m probably twice her size with way too much T&A for my comfort when I was younger, but even I think the ‘Real Women Have Curves’ thing is really annoying.
I mean, are you implying someone’s a figment of your imagination for not looking a certain way? Or that they’re not really a woman? It’s offensive and needs to stop, women come in all shapes and sizes and we’re all real.
It doesn’t matter what the slogans say – in the Western world of today women in shape, preferably on the thinner side are considered attractive. If it wasn’t so, Kim and Khloe wouldn’t be on a diet right now despite all their claims about loving their curves.
I’m pretty ectomorphic and small framed, and up until age 35 couldn’t put on weight (haha, that has changed). In college, I was 5’3″ and managed to balloon up to 102 lbs. It was just the way I was built,a dn there wasn’t much I could do about it.
What I remember most was endless body shaming. The same people who would never call a woman “fat” seemed to feel just fine ridiculing me for being slender. I actually had a professor ask me loudly in class, in front of everyone, “So Miss Jupitero, are you just skinny or are you an anorexic?” can you imagine how that would feel if I actually *were* struggling with an eating disorder?
All women are real women. All people deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
was that professor a woman? some people are unbelievable. body shaming is never ok, i’ve been made uncomfortable many times for comments on how i’m too tall and too skinny, and what hurts the most is that it’s always other women saying these sort of things.
Said the same thing above. Women talk a good game but we are the ones that need to get it together. Reality: Men like women in all shapes and sizes. Some men like thin, some curvy, some tall, short.. There will always be a man that likes the shape any and every woman has.
But these kinds of comments come mostly from women. So that being the case what does that say about us.
@lisa2 – I hear what you are saying but I resent the idea that the only and final judges of women somehow have to be men. It doesn’t matter what THEY like – how about what WE like and feel comfortable with.
I’ve been super thin to overweight. I was harassed a lot more when I was thin, especially from women. Constant comments. I’ve always had bigger boobs, even when I was skinny and the comments were just awful. Since being overweight, get very few if any comments on being overweight. People are harsh in the real word to thin people, especially if you live in places like the South, midwest or more rural areas..
I hate when people feel free to ridicule women who they consider a safe target because they are thin. It’s like they think because you are thin you don’t have feelings or problems. I have had so many rude comments guised as a good natured jibe.
That professor is a jerk and unprofessional. Smh
I’m glad Daisy stood up for herself. I think she is a naturally petite girl and she’s an amazing actress. I LOVED her in Star Wars. LOVED!!! You go Daisy!!!!
I’m with Daisy. She handled the trolls well. She is a woman. Women come in all shapes and sizes.
It is JJ who should be taken to cast. JJ is incapable of casting anyone who is not skinny. The blonde actress in Star Trek admitted she ate an apple a day for a couple of months before that underwear shot. Daisy lost weight she didn’t even have on her for Rey. He males me sick.
Yep and nobody says or does anything about it. It just gets worse.
If he’s the one who told her to only eat an apple a day, then absolutely he should be taken to task. But it’s also possible the actress herself made that choice – I’ve heard a lot of actors/actresses say they’ve done that, out of vanity, to look their “best” on screen. Unless we know the director told her to starve herself for that scene, let’s not throw everyone under the bus just yet.
And in reading about Daisy’s pre-movie work out, it sounded like she was doing athletic training and diet to be able to perform such a physical role, not to lose weight.
Women come in all shapes and sizes, but you know what? I am more than my body. Fat, skinny, curvy, flat – I am more than just a collection of parts.
Real women DO have curves. They also DON’T have curves. They also come in all colors, all heights, all weights, all religions. They also wear what they want, do their hair the way they want, and have a variety of jobs. Or no job. They have children or don’t have children. They are married or single. They may or may not have been born as women. They are liberal and conservative. You can’t arbitrarily assign characteristics and say “that’s a woman.”
I initially liked the “real women have curves” slogan. As a high schooler in the late 90s during the herion chic & Kate Moss days I struggled with my cartoonishly curvy body. Clothes were hard to find & I was also tall. Softball uniforms didn’t fit my chest or my poppin booty. At that time I NEVER heard a single compliment about my butt. A girl on my cross country team started calling me lard ass ( my ass was the furthest thing from fat) & some stupid boys joined in with her. It took me til college to realize that my tall, strong, athletic as well as curvy body was awesome.
Basically my point is that I’m old enough to remember a time when the curvy physique (aside from breasts) wasn’t as lauded as it is now so the slogan appealed to me.
But I agree wholeheartedly with everyone stating the slogan is divisive & not as accepting as originally thought.
Real women have bodies, every size & shape is freaking awesome. 😉
I also wanted to add that reading thru comments that show that every woman, of every size, every shape has had to face body criticism really boils my blood. I hate that society has beaten on womens’ self esteem for SO LONG. It’s gotta stop.
It really does and I hate this. It’s exhausting sometimes.
Daisy is athletic, fit and in shape. She is a great role model and it’s about time we had more like her.
Maybe that commenter didn’t see Daisy’s abs of steel. Its not like she’s some anorexic model, she’s incredibly fit and strong.
And I agree that I hate the term “Real women have curves”. I feel like (for the most part) it gives fat people a chance to skinny shame people so they feel better about themselves.
And btw, Im not saying that being curvy is “Overweight”. I just think actual overweight people use that term all the time. Someone who is curvy is more like Mindy Kaling too me.
The whole real women have curves argument is bull yes I’m a smaller women but yet I have boobs and hips my sister in law even smaller no boobs no butt and has two kids pretty damn sure she is a real woman!! I wish people would accept everyone has a different body type otherwise we would all be the same and that would be crap.