Gavin Rossdale’s 80s male lover speaks out


Like Jenny Shimizu before him, rocker “Marilyn” had a same sex relationship with a high profile celebrity decades ago and is just now coming out with the news. This guy Marilyn, who favored a look like Boy George with makeup and high hair, said he was with Rossdale’s lover for five years in the early 80s and that he initially lied about it for the sake of Rossdale’s career after the news came out. He’s just coming clean to In Touch now, and calls Rossdale “the love of my life”:

With a happy marriage, two beautiful children and a romance that’s lasted more than 13 years, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale have one of rock ’n’ roll’s most stable relationships. But Gavin wasn’t always the perfect family man he is today. Back in the ’80s, he was a wild child who wore black lipstick and partied until all hours at London’s underground clubs. And the most important relationship of his life may have been with another androgynous, hard-partying man. As In Touch has learned, Gavin had a long-standing secret love affair with Marilyn — a male rocker who looked remarkably like Gwen. “He was the love of my life,” Marilyn tells In Touch.

Though Boy George broke the news of Gavin, 43, and Marilyn’s tumultuous romance in his 1995 book, Take It Like a Man, Gavin denied it, stating, “I wasn’t dating Marilyn. We were, and still are, good friends.” At the time, Marilyn denied the affair, as well. But today he says he did it only because Gavin asked him to. “He was just becoming successful in America,” Marilyn explains. “I agreed to lie against every grain of my being.” Now, Marilyn wants to set the record straight. In an exclusive interview with In Touch, the British pop icon details the love affair that spanned the early ’80s. “We were together five years,” Marilyn says. “But it felt like 40.” (Gavin’s rep denies the story.)

[From In Touch]

Why do these people come out with news of their long-over relationships with celebrities over a decade after the fact? It’s like they’re begging for some sort of validation for their relationship with a now famous person and want the notoriety that goes along with that. Maybe there’s an aspect of wanting to bring the celebrity down a peg too. “I hit that – 20 years ago.” Really, who cares? If it’s true that Marilyn is still pining for a relationship from the 80s that’s sad. Good for Rossdale for being in a committed relationship with another guy if that’s what this was, but it’s a shame that he picked someone so willing to kiss and tell, even if it took the guy an awful long time to spill the news. Rossdale’s daughter Daisy Lowe was born in 1989, from a brief relationship he had with singer Pearl Lowe, so if this is true it means that he moved on to women shortly after this relationship was over.

Header photo vie In Touch. Photo below is from 4/12/09. Credit: Fame Pictures

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68 Responses to “Gavin Rossdale’s 80s male lover speaks out”

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  1. photo jojo says:

    I agree, CB, who really cares? Though to be fair, had I been with Gavin Rossdale, I’d have a hard time not taking out billboards to announce it to the world: that guy is HOT!! 🙂

  2. Lem says:

    I know nothing of Gavin Rossdale. I was surprised when I found out he had a daughter so old and surprised again with this. How old is he, he doesn’t seem old enough for all that.
    There are pics of marilyn I’ve seen when he looks alot like Gwen. At least Gavin has a type lol.
    I’m a big fan of her uniqueness but part of that draw was her always re-inventing her look. It’s time for an update Gwennie.

    OT I loved Boy George so… what a shame what’s become of him.

  3. Lem says:

    haha at the photo. the ‘girl’ is topless and Gavin looks ready for ‘fame’
    My god things were bad in the 80’s. I think everyone should get a pass on the whole decade

  4. Jazz says:

    I remember Marilyn! When I was a kid, I saw a picture of Marilyn on a tape and thought he was a woman. Imagine my surprise when I learned he was a man! I also thought Boy George was a woman when I saw a picture of Culture Club. The 80’s were a confusing time for a kid!

  5. Zoe (The Other One) says:

    Meh, big deal, everyone was gay for five minutes in the 80s.

  6. 88Modesty88 says:

    Okay, maybe Marilyn shouldn’t have waited so long to spill the details but, if true, you can’t fault him for doing it now. Fault Rossdale for lying.

    Too right, the rumours about him have been swirling for years — now we gang up on the person who’s (allegedly) telling the truth!

  7. caribassett says:

    Meh. He (Marilyn) should stop trying to grab some attention on someone elses name.

  8. Mrs.Darcy says:

    Wow, fairly surprising imo if it’s true. I think sexuality is each person’s business, but to be honest if I found out my husband was with a guy for five years it would freak me out to no end. I get experimental bisexuality but I find it hard to believe someone has NO preference, esp. if it was such a long relationship. If I were Gwen some part of me would question if I was really his preferred sex. But that’s just me.

  9. Hel says:

    Why is he talking about this now – because the magazine paid him!

  10. kxx says:

    “a male rocker who looked remarkably like Gwen” LOL

  11. Codzilla says:

    Zoe: Agreed.

    That being said, I’ll never understand the big deal about Gavin. He’s kind of greasy looking and his music is horrendous.

  12. Mairead says:

    Marilyn is known for his kiss’n’tells.

    Sad that the blind items about Gwen having to keep up that comic-book manicured look to keep Gavin’s interest are true.

  13. blaugaro says:

    88Modesty88, I agree with you. Imagine you were with someone together 5 years of your life and you have to deny it and see how the other denies you in public, like if it never happened, or you were not good enough for them. This must hurt.

  14. ! says:

    You guys are really rude. (Not all of you but definitely some of you)

    So what if its years after the fact? Marilyn is spilling the beans when it doesn’t matter anymore and it won’t hurt Gavin’s career, ’cause he doesn’t really have one anymore. If anything, I think that shows how much s/he really loved him, lying to save his career.

    But imagine being a gay man and watching someone you love dearly tromp about as a heterosexual, denying all rumors to the contrary, just for their career? To see them making a contribution to stunting the progress of gay rights by feeding into a publicity machine that says being gay isn’t right? Wouldn’t that hurt? Its Marilyn’s business if s/he wants the truth to come out now. Maybe it was eating her up inside. Maybe it finally hurt too much. Maybe she finally said “Fuck society, fuck their standards, fuck the way they made me stay silent, I’m standing up.”

    But no, you can all only gang up on her because she told a magazine for money. If YOU had that information, are you telling me you’d give it up for free? Take a look at your bank account statement real quick, compare it to your bills, and then get back to me. Having been paid doesn’t make her story any less valid.

    This isn’t about “I hit that…20 years ago” for her ego boost. This is about a culture of shame regarding sexuality, and Marilyn was a casualty.

  15. kiki says:

    the 80’s it was a gay decade. George Michaels video “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’ sums it up. it so gay but if you were around in the 1980s it was the norm

  16. Wow says:

    Wait! That’s a DUDE?!?! Gotta love the 80’s.

  17. Trillion says:

    Marilyn is a a middle aged queen looking for some attention and a reason to show ancient pictures of her former gorgeous self. I love Gwen but don’t get why she married Gavin. He seems boring but then again, I don’t know anything about him except that his music is super dull.

  18. Wif says:

    Last week Marlee Matlin talked about abuse from 20 years ago. She was overwhelmingly supported. I don’t see how revealing a relationship 20 years later is different. It’s part of Marilyn’s life, his story, I don’t know why people are up in arms about the kissing and telling.

  19. cap says:

    The real question is why does Gwen Stefani bleach her hair white? hasn’t she seen her own video for “I know we’re cool”? She is beautiful as a brunette!

  20. kxx says:

    @cap, she would love lovely as a brunette, omg i WISH i had her eye liner skills!!

  21. GayGavin says:

    Who cares Gavin had mandicksex in the 80s, as long as his a-holes healed up ok .

  22. Lory says:

    What is funny to me is they say this guy looks exactly like Gwen…seriously? I don’t see it. In fact isn’t that considered insulting Gwen Stefani in that they think she looks like a man?

  23. Adam says:

    I could say that anybody was “the love of my life” but it does not mean they were also in love with me. I don’t doubt Gavin’s bisexuality, but this sounds like the very common gay-guy-in-love-with-straight-guy scenario

  24. j. ferber says:

    !, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think Gavin was a lucky dude to hook up with Gwen and coast on her success. If he can own up to his sexual past by acknowledging his daughter, he can also own up to his affair with Marilyn. If he’s as cool as he thinks he is, he would already have done so. I think Marilyn is noble in trying to protect his lover for so long (from the “infamy” of being gay or bisexual). If Gavin were honorable, he would acknowledge Marilyn’s claims. But I guess he’d rather have people think Marilyn is a liar. Cowardly and uncool.

  25. gia says:

    He doesnt look that much like Gwen at all…So, Gavin was a bit confused in the 80’s, it happens.

  26. Rita says:

    Why does anyone care? It happened, what, like 25 years ago? Besides that, Gavin is pretty much a non-entity in the celebrity world now. When is the last time he was on the radio, touring, or doing much of anything besides playing Mr. Mom? He’s pretty much become “that guy Gwen Stefani is married to.”

    Gimme a better scandal that this, jeez. You want to talk about the 80s, let’s talk Rainbow Brite and He-Man. It’s a little known fact that He-Man totally cheated on She-Ra with Rainbow Brite, who was barely legal at the time. There’s also been rumors as to why there’s such anger between Skeletor and He-Man. Could it be that it was a relationship gone wrong? Hm, “enquiring” minds want to know.

  27. MSat says:

    I remember Marilyn from the 80’s. He was a no-talent famewhore then, too.

    Gavin looks like he’s about 10 years old in that pic. Creepy.

  28. bros says:

    do elaborate mairead?!! ?

  29. aaaaaaaaanyway says:

    It’s funny when people like a celeb and some dirt comes out about said celeb (however long ago,) the response is always “who cares” but if it was someone they dislike, they’d be all over it like white on rice with snark and disses. Stop being hyprocrites.

    Anyway, now i see his attraction to Gwen, her and Marilyn look like twinsies. Gwen probably straps it on for Gav. No judgements, just saying!

  30. kww says:

    Sheesh there was and is a whole lot of men swinging it both ways…reason for the sharp rise of women getting HIV…

  31. Gigohead says:

    Gavin looked so young, so I would chalk that up to his experimental phase. Plus trannies like Marilyn are girls anyway.

    Who cares anymore?

  32. Genevieve says:

    I believe most everyone is at least bi. Who cares? On to the next bit of gossip….

  33. Samantha says:

    Meh, no big thing chicken wing. NEXT!

  34. JAS says:

    This story had come out 14 years ago while GR was still with Bush (his old band.) This story is only new to you all because you were probably too young to know or care. it has been there in the book by Boy George all this time, too.

  35. OXA says:

    Also, keeping it on the down low would have made his immigration easier to complete.

  36. CandyKay says:

    There have been blind items on other websites – specifically CrazyDaysAndNights – suggesting that Gavin had endangered his marriage to Gwen by cheating with both men and women. I have no inside information as to whether there’s any truth in this.

    According to his Wikipedia biography, Gavin had a Top 40 hit last fall, and has a tour planned for Spring 2009 – ie now. Could he and Marilyn actually have planned this story to give him a bit of publicity before he goes out?

  37. Marnie Kissamee says:

    who cares??? it was the 80’s I had a same sex relation ship now I am a ‘soccer mom’ with 3 kids…

  38. tard says:

    Maybe he’s trying to sell his book?

  39. sarah says:

    Gavin Rossdale is hot either way

  40. tasteT says:

    I am sure Gavin will NEVER own up to it.

    hopefully his lover received a stipend for a closed mouth all of these years.

    Wasn’t the guy in the band w/Gwen gay also, she was in LOVE with him too correct??

    Could have swore I saw them both in an interview, he said he just came out and told her he had no interest in having a family or being w/the opposite sex for the rest of his life. They still remain very close.

    I agree w/poster up top, no matter what you prefer, wear a rubber..all the D/L and switch-hitting is dangerous.

    Heard GAvin on Ellen and I hated it but he has a cute bad boy look..

  41. MB says:

    !: You have got to be kidding me. I have to wonder about the timing of everything. Gavin has just released the second single from his solo album and NOW Marilyn wants to go ‘on the record’ regarding this relationship? This is NOT the first time she has discussed this – quite frankly, I thought this relationship was common knowledge based on all the gossip blog articles that I have read on the matter. So, once again “she” comes crawling out from under her rock to tell the world about a private relationship that may or may not have happened twenty years ago??? Seems to me like ‘she’ is simply riding on the coattails of Gavin and the modicum of publicitiy he is generating with his album. Seems like a pretty scummy move to me, and not at all as noble as you seem to think it is.

  42. Alli says:

    I’m sorry, but how old is Gavin in that picture? He looks about 12. And Marilyn looks like his stage mommy.

  43. Mars says:

    Omg. The fact a “straight” guy had a homosexual relationship for one, two or five years is certainly news – whether the guy was famous or not. It speaks to his character and predilections, so yeah, this is shocking. Ever since I learned of his daughter and the fact he has not made more of an effort to heal their relationship I have thought less of Gavin. One could say the daughter has spurned his attempts; but gimme a effin break! Every daughter will give her father a chance to apologize if he really tries. Obviously it’s too difficult for him to make a dedicated effort. I guess he feels he has too much too lose like a rich wife and cozy life. So many secrets, Gavin. What a snake.

  44. lisa says:

    I’ve never understood the appeal of him, but oh well. I remember Gwen freaking out over him having a daughter and being pissed for a long time, so I am curious what she thinks of this now.

  45. LALA says:

    UMMM… Boo whoo, Cry all you want… But Gwen Stefani doesn’t just dabble in the art of COCK. So they are a match made in Hollyweird heaven!!!!!

  46. Enonymous says:

    Rossdale having a male lover for FIVE years does not exactly fall into the category of just being an ‘experiment phase’. Man, Gavin Rossdale seems to have a lot of secrets, a long time hidden 20 year old daughter that is also his goddaughter while the current wife had no idea about it and now a male lover proclaiming his undying love for him after 20 years. What’s next Gavin? Your real mom happens to be your sister, you had a sex change. It is like a soap opera, he should definitely write a book or something, it would be much more successful then his crappy songs.

  47. cherryblossom says:

    I just saw Rossdale in concert a few weeks back…he seems too young for all this. It’s sort of weird.

    But, what’s the point of telling people now? And if it’s true, why shouldn’t he admit it? Sure, you were with a guy…so what? Nobody cares nowadays.

    He looks so little and innocent in that photo. Awww…

  48. the original kate says:

    big whoop! it was the 80s…back then we were all confused, experimenting,coked up, wearing neon spandex and loving it!

  49. RaraAvis says:

    Wow, the 80’s really were a waste, weren’t they?

  50. mazman says:

    old news!! this relationship is known since the release of marilyn’s “you don’t love me” single. that was in 1984.
    oh! forgot to tell… marilyn is a father himself!! so he is as much gay as everybody is!! xx

  51. Annex says:

    Ah the 80’s

    Yeah some of us were into getting into each other big time because it was about being flamboyant and attractive not like those hideous 70’s.

    And lots doing the same gender thing BRAVELY should I say! As AIDS had just made an appearance. I learnt alot about the rubber dam thing and femidons. Easier for us lovin gals than for the guys who had to play with the double condom thing.

    Anyway the herpes thing had just blown through so we were pretty practised at being Safe. read:cautious

    Ah the 80’s…

  52. pixiepoo says:

    check out Marilyn’s place of birth on wikipedia…:P

  53. Ashley says:

    j. ferber – It’s obvious he’s not honorable, he won’t even acknowledge his daughter! They were apparently close when she was growing up but as soon as he found out he was her dad he bailed? Oh and I got all of that from an article Daisy and Pearl did in the DM so it’s not like it came from some tabloid.

    As for Marilyn, stop ragging on him. I’m guessing he talked to In Touch because he’s coming out with his bio, which has been news for a while. Why that failed to make it into the article is beyond me, without all the information it makes it seem like he’s a fame whore. He was a singer in the 80’s, I’m guessing popular in Britian and now he’s writing a book, which happens to have info on his lover at the time (a time when he was famous).

    Also the gay rumors have circulated for years (another tidbit left out).

    On a side note I find it funny that Marylin currently resides (has resided for a while?) and was born in Kingston, Jamaica.

  54. Ashley says:

    Enonymous – Haha, he does look like Allison Hannigan (Willow from Buffy) in that photo.

  55. Beasley says:

    Marilyn is a true star. It’s too bad he fumbled with drug problems and was not able to do more musically. His DSL album was very underrated. As it was finally reissued I suggest that you all go out and buy a piece of pop genius.

  56. Beasley says:

    I want Maz to go on the telly and talk about this…it would also make for a good radio spotlight. Either way, it’s shock and it will probably help both of them sell cd’s and downloads.

  57. Waynzworld says:

    Wait…the ’80s was a gay decade? So what are we in now, a str8 one??

  58. Patrice says:

    This is so sad to me. Gay, staright, whatever, I believe that people have the right (and preferably obligation) to keep their sex lives in the bedroom. So what if Gavin WAS with a man? That doen’t mean that he deserves to be outed by a former lover if the story is true. Perhaps he just wants to keep his private life (gasp) private. I HATE it that the world acts as if anyone who is not entirely heterosexual has some sort of inherent obligation to the world to preach their bedroom secrets on the street lest they be deemed ashamed of themselves or hypocritical in some way.

  59. Teresa says:

    Has anyone thought that maybe he is claiming that Gavin was the love of his life and still is (as in they are still lovers)?

  60. Joe says:

    This is very old news. People just forgot about it. I first heard about it in 1997 or 1998.

  61. jojo says:

    Daisy Lowe was born out of a one-night-stand, not a brief relationship. Pearl Lowe and Gavin were friends who slept together one single night.

  62. Dirty Martini says:

    I can’t believe anyone ever thought he didn’t swing the bat from both sides of the batter’s box.

    Just sayin’……..

  63. Kristen says:

    The thing is, it’s not like he asked the dude to lie about it while they were together — it was after they had broken up. Mainly, it’s unfortunate that Marilyn hasn’t moved on — we’re talking about 20 years. Sure, it’s nice of him to have lied if Gavin asked him to, but it’s sad that he feels the need to come out with it now. The man is married with a family. Find someone new!

  64. Iggles says:

    @ Ashley:
    On a side note I find it funny that Marylin currently resides (has resided for a while?) and was born in Kingston, Jamaica.

    Interesting. I don’t think Marilyn is the only one holding on.

    1- Gavin’s firstborn is named Kingston.

    That could be a coincidence because Gwen was heavily influenced by Ska and Reggae. Not surprising she may have liked that name — HOWEVER it would be easy of Gavin to get her to agree to it if he had ulterior reasons..

    2- If the many blind items are to be believed, the reason Gwen has had the same look for 10 years (out of 13 years with Rossdale) is that Gavin strays when she changes her look. Her look is strikingly similiar to his Ex, Marilyn. And according to blinds, he strays with women and men who have this heavy make up + red lips combo.

    I highly doubt this is part is a coincidence.

    Maybe Marilyn is the love of his life too, but he’s too proud to admit that.

  65. MayaGibson says:

    I think Gavin’s relationship with Marilyn was like a sugar-mom-ish — Marilyn being a popstar and Gavin a nobody, he must be a good source of income. A relationship based on needs.

  66. MayaGibson says:

    I think Gavin’s relationship with Marilyn was like a sugar-mom-ish — Marilyn being a popstar and Gavin a nobody, he must be a good source of income. A relationship based on needs.

  67. Stephanie W says:

    Has anyone noticed that Gavin and Gwen’s first child is named Kingston and Marilyn hometown isn’t the UK but Kingston, Jamaica? Marilyn moved to the UK in his teens.

  68. hjsplit says:

    Why didnt I think about this? I hear exactly what youre saying and Im so happy that I came across your blog. You really know what youre talking about, and you made me feel like I should learn more about this. Thanks for this; Im officially a huge fan of your blog