Reese Witherspoon was one of the guests at the Tiffany Blue Book Ball over the weekend, where she wore a black J. Mendel strapless gown with sequin flowers and was dripping in diamonds. (Kaiser covered more of the fashion here.) While there, Reese talked to US about her daughter, Ava, 16, who just left Coachella after a few days there with friends. (One commenter on US’s website claimed that Reese’s dad, Ryan Phillippe, was there with her. I could not verify that on Ryan or Ava’s social media, but I hope that was the case.) Reese said a lot of things about her daughter which I could relate to, even though I have a boy and he’s younger. My kid is always cooler than me:
On her daughter, Ava, 16
She’s so much cooler than I am! She’s very cutting-edge, and she knows a lot about fashion, and she has her own sense of style, which is amazing. We try to kind of confer about new styles. She tells me whether or not I can wear things.On if she feels mommy guilt
Every day, all day long. Every time I travel, it’s very hard.On her husband, Jim Toth
I think what’s great about he and I is we’re both the heads of our family and we share everything – the responsibilities and the highs and the lows together. It’s really beautiful to be on that journey with someone that you truly love and who truly respects you.On her son, Tennessee, 3 and a half, learning to read
That’s a really great thing, to have my older kids teaching my younger children how to read. Incredible memories that we’re making.
I can relate to feeling out of touch compared to my son. He’ll tell me when an outfit looks bad and he’ll tell me when I sound like I’m trying to be young and am hopelessly out of touch. The other day I called something “wicked” and he said “Mom, no one says that.” I imagine that it can be worse with a daughter though.
As for Ava, she’s 16! I was watching bands and hanging out with my friends at 16 and I assume she has good supervision. That’s one thing you can say about Reese and Ryan’s divorce, they seem like amicable co-parents who care a lot about their two kids. My spidey sense is tingling with the way she describes her current husband though, like there’s a clash of wills there.
Photos credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
Points off for naming that poor boy Tennessee, though.
@Celebitchy Reese was actually at Coachella with Ava. She was snapchatting from there.
I like her and Toth together. Also if you remember that drunk arrest he was actually the calm one. She’s definitely a type A and probably needs someone who is the same. I never got her relationship with Jake G.
Reese has some strong genes, her daughter looks just like her. Ava most have forgotten to check mom’s blouse that day to see if it was cool enough, because sorry Reese, it’s not!
Actually, I think that, face-wise, Ava is the spitting image of her father.
She also resembles Reese.
Yeah, she’s got her father’s nose and eyes! She’s the perfect combination of the two, I think. Very pretty kid.
Agreed. I always thought Ava resembled her mom but in that one photo of them in the black formalwear all I see Ryan’s face staring at me, with long pink hair.
I’d seen her looking like Reese before, but in these pictures she’s the image of Ryan. Beautiful kids.
She’s a perfect split of the two of them. It’s crazy!
She’s very pretty though.
Agree with how much she resembles her dad.
When a picture of her daughter shows up, I have to glance twice to realize that it’s not Reese I’m looking at, but I can see her father in her as well. Maybe the daughter ended up with slightly softer features than Reese, though to be fair the daughter is younger which lends to looking softer. I wouldn’t be surprised if a picture of Reese at 16 probably showed her looking softer like her daughter.
personally I think that shirt is really dark cute.
The blue one with the flowers on it? It looks momish to me, but then again, she is a mom. May have worked better with denim, but to each their own.
Why would denim look better with that top? I think I may wear white jeans too often… 😬
Oh Lawdy. She said her daughter gave her the cool factor. I stated the blouse wasn’t. White jeans have nothing to do with it, the blouse looks like Target’s finest to me. Just my opinion, geez.
I think that blouse is AWFUL, but I hate flower patterns with the fire of a thousand suns so maybe I’m not the best to ask.
Ok that was… odd.
Kitten, I can handle a floral but, that one is too large scale and basic looking even for me. To me it looks like something from the Golden Girls. Ha! Or more likely, it’s from Reece’s own Southern Preppy line.
I think the flower shirt is sort of… “mature”. Maybe there was a sale going on at Sears.
I thought the same thing. She looks like a young clone of her mother.
Sure Reese…and you share getting loaded with your husband too.
Still can’t forgive them for driving drunk.
Jaded: I00. They tend to not mention these things in their resumes. Do you know who I am? Yes mam a couple of rich people driving drunk and putting other people’s life in danger. Sweep it right under the rug Reesie Cup.
Wow, her daughter looks exactly like her in that one photo.
Glad to hear a parent was with her at Coachella, I was wondering that about Brooklyn Beckham. He’s a teenager too, did his parents stay in London and just let him go off by himself?
He’s 17. Most teenagers I know attend music festivals and concerts with friends at that age. I went to Glastonbury alone at 16, and I was hardly unusual.
A festival 5000 miles away from home ?
I’m sure he had an “escort”. A driver or a bodyguard waiting in the wings in case of any trouble. It’d be seriously uncool if his parents went just to chaperon. He’s 17. I did almost everything on my own at 17.
seriously – it would be a surprise if any 17-year old would let mum or dad accompany them to a festival – celebrity or not
I have to say something superficial first. Ava is so frickin’ gorgeous and I’m always amazed that she look exactly like Reese and exactly like Ryan at the same time.
The mommy guilt though. Goddamn it. I recently asked my mother about that and she got really impatient. “Well, yes, I worked and we had a nanny. You both turned out fine. I HAD to work, most women had to and that was that. Your father and I had good jobs but we still needed two incomes and that was just how most people did it. Why would I feel guilty? I had no time to feel guilty.” To be clear, we didn’t have a nanny but I can’t come up with a better word. The woman took care of me from when I was about 1 until I went to kindergarten at 3. And my mom worked only until early afternoon. Still. I understand that sometimes mothers want to spend more time with the kids but as a concept, mommy guilt seems fairly new.
ETA: Just saw the Viola Davis post. Oy.
Sounds like your mom feels a little guilty and her impatience is covering it up?
No, that’s not her at all. It’s just that I had been talking about this a lot because friends/people I know have little kids and babies and this is what the mothers talk about all the time. And I never know what to say because a) you’re not allowed when you don’t have kids and b) they were complaining about “problems” that I think don’t warrant this level of self-flaggelation and, frankly, whining. Granted, these 3 women are … special cases, not all moms are like that. So I had been telling my mom all of this and at some point she was like “Well, they wanted the kids. Contrary to popular belief, you can’t actually have it all. There are always sacrifices. But that’s fine because they have a lot more than most and so did we.”
Ok, got it.
I’m not a mother but, the guilt seems odd to me. I think my sister in law feels sorry for herself because she would love to stay home with her son- and not have to work. Ha!
But, it’s absolutely amazing how much he has learned in daycare and how well socialized he is. He’s by nature a little shy and an only child but, it has given him so many tools about sharing, taking turns during sports (he reminds us!), and he now just walks up to kids in playgrounds and plays with them. If I ever have a kid I WANT to be able to send them to daycare at least a few days a week. That’s how impressed I am with his daycare, which they call “school.”
@ Hudson Girl: That was my mom’s takeaway, btw. If you’re in a position where you can afford daycare, stop whining. It’s good for your child. You can miss your kid and now and then you can even feel like you should be spending more time together. But come on. Working to put food on the table shouldn’t make you feel guilty.
I have major mommy guilt, even though I know that my kids are happy and healthy. It stings when I read a comment about how you’ll never get this time back with your kids, or when my kid cries at drop off, or my preschooler cries bc there was an event at the school and he didn’t want me to leave to go back to work. I had to pry his hands off me and just walk off and when I turned around another mom was comforting him.
I try to tell myself it’s quality time over quantity, but that’s hard when I spend the night catching up on all the stuff I couldn’t do while at work. Sorry for whining, I’ve got a lot of feelings this morning.
Isa, is that really mommy guilt though? I’m sure all moms miss their kids sometimes when they’re not together and it’s not great if you miss an important moment. But trust me, they won’t remember that. They’ll remember Christmases (or anything else you celebrate) and birthdays and summers in the sandbox with their friends. And when they think of their childhood, they will remember the moments when you were there, not the ones you missed. Like I said, my mom worked and my dad usually got home late but I somehow remember them being there a LOT.
Also, who writes crap like you’ll never get this time back? That’s so unhelpful. I know parents panic at the thought of time flying and them missing the milestones but you simply cannot be there 24/7.
@littlemissnaughty it makes me feel guilty, that they need me and I’m not there for them. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, my mom was gone 5 days a week working in another city and only came home on weekends. We’re all fine and I’m still close with her. It’s a useless feeling but I can’t seem to shake it.
My husband doesn’t get it either. He looks at me and sees everything I’ve accomplished, but I feel like I’m failing at everything. It’s stupid and it sucks.
Isa, this is not going to sound great but … do they really need you ALL the time? I’m not going to tell you how to feel, that’s not helpful and as I said, I don’t have kids. But I know I sometimes get sucked into one feeling and can’t see the big picture. I’ve actually actively been trying to not do that anymore and it works. So what does the big picture look like? Good, bad, great? Do you consider yourself lucky in general? You said your kids are happy and healthy. I think sometimes it helps to make a list of all the things that are going well in ones’ life. It puts things into perspective, at least for me. Because I’m pretty sure you’re not failing at all.
I had my son in preschool and it was great! He too is an only child. He enjoyed having friends he looked forward to seeing at school. He learned structure, rules, academics, and ownership of the school. All the kids loved THEIR school. It was cute.
As far as working and feeling guilty – not so much. I watched an old episode of Judging Amy and heard Tyne Daly tell a man who questioned her working, “My children deserve a break from me.” I’ve never forgot that line. We tend think our kids want us 24/7 and that’s not necessarily true. It’s natural to fear for them and wonder what they’re doing when we’re at work, but it’s actually good for them to have other adults they trust in their life and to have their own life in a way. It’s also good to miss eachother and look forward to seeing eachother. it’s hard to let go those little bits, but I find it necessary for growth – everybody’s growth.
I think most mothers feel some guilt sometimes. I never blamed my mother for working but sometimes she told me she missed us while she had to travel for her job. Most of it depends on what the mother wants to do. If she wants to be home but has to work then there may be guilt. If she stays home and misses having a career then there may be some guilt too.
I love being at home but I do work sometimes and I do make sure to have breaks. It’s healthy for them to be on their own with other caregivers and to have some independence. I can’t be their whole world and I don’t want to be.
People who don’t have children have every right to weigh in, my only caveat is that understanding should flow both ways. Moms who feel guilty need support not derision.
“I’m always amazed that she look exactly like Reese and exactly like Ryan at the same time.”
This exactly.
Oh, I know they don’t need me all the time. I know it’s good for them to foster independence and friendships. It just feels like I’m constantly failing at something. My husband would say the same as you about looking at the bigger picture. I know it’s irrational, I just can’t seem to shake it. I like the suggestion of making a list. I think it might help so I’m going to try that.
I can’t tell you how much better this post has made me feel (and the ones following it). I was all in my feels yesterday about this very topic. But then I picked my youngest up from daycare, he was so happy and babbling all the way home, and I remembered why I stick it out at work – he likes daycare, he gets to socialize with others his age, and he learns a lot.
I feel like a freak because I do NOT have mommy guilt. Ever. Seriously! However, I am an anxious person who worries about their kids constantly and also imagines scenarios that would be incredibly unlikely and then gets all freaked out about them.
LOL so maybe I don’t feel guilt because the brain space for that is taken up by anxiety/worry for my kids instead.
Remember when Kanye was worried about a Drone crashing into their pool and electrocuting their daughter? (I think it was Kanye) I had to laugh because my brain generates all kinds of bizarre scenarios like that as well!!!!!! But work guilt? I never have that. Maybe because my mom worked and I just see it as normal? Growing up I never felt like I needed my mom during the day and I never felt like she didn’t spend enough time with me. So maybe that’s why it’s never made me feel guilty? Couldn’t tell ya!
You sound like my dad. Growing up (in a small-ish town, not Berlin or something) he came up with these insane things that could potentially happen to us. In hindsight we all laugh about it but at the time, damn.
I do think it could have something to do with your own mother working but that doesn’t stop the women around me from talking about that guilt all day. What the hell? Since when does a child – any child – needs its mother literally 24/7? They don’t! Not unless they’re still nursing.
Well, in terms of “cool” aren’t the children pretty much always cooler than the parents, unless the parents are Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz or something? That’s sort of the point, isn’t it?
And all teenagers have their own sense of style. It might be crap and they may look upon it in horror in 20 years, but it’s not like you can dress them at that age. Heck, my tween chooses his own clothes (from a parent approved closet.). Thank goodness he is fairly preppy /dressy, and he just giggles at the visible underpants, low hanging jeans, backward ball caps so many young men are sporting. That trend can die now.
Isn’t everyone?
I was looking for that. My grandpa is cooler than Reese. She’s so mumsy.
Was just going to say- if a 16 year old is approving your fashion choices as a 40 year old, you are doing something wrong-LOL! My mom’s favorite expression was “I am your parent- not your friend. I HAVE friends- and they are not you”. Funny now, but used to drive me crazy.
Agreed. Nor do you need your son’s stamp of approval on your choice of words unless you are asking whether you fit in with his prepubescent friends hanging out at the las. Otherwise, kid, chill.
I’m sensing maaaaajor ATTITUDE in these pics. I think Reese might be fighting some huge battles behind closed doors. It could just be the pics and it’s completely normal for a teen girl. God knows we had 2 teenage girls in my house growing up so I get it. ‘My sister was a terrifying teen who delivered my poor parents hell on the daily, lol.
Social media may not be a reflection on real life but if I go off that they seem really close. They’re openly affectionate and Reese comments on Ava’s account a lot. She even wishes Ava’s boyfriend a happy birthday. I don’t know that many teenagers, especially famous ones, who interact with their parents on social media like that
I’ve never doubted Reece’s devotion either. She has always been centered on her children. I loved my parents as a teen so it happens.
I’m with PINACOLADA. We know how headstrong Reese is. I would expect her daughter to be the same. Few things are more terrifying than a 16 year old headstrong girl! Reese may be a fancy movie star, but I bet Ava levels her at LEAST once a day. Being beautiful, blonde, cool, and privileged, Ava makes me feel like I’m back in high school and she’s everything I’n not!
That’s really judgemental and close minded. Daughters are not exact replicas of their moms. You’re assuming a lot based on your thoughts of her mother.
Note to your son: I know many people (from late teens to late 50s) who say “wicked” regularly. If I lived anywhere near Boston, I’m sure the number would be much higher.
Ok but people in Boston don’t say “wicked” the way C/B said it–nobody here would ever say “that’s wicked!”.
We say “wicked” as in “very”, like “that’s wicked cool” or “it’s wicked f*cking cold out”.
It’s an adverb used for emphasis, not an adjective.
In short, C/B’s son was correct about her uncoolness.
(just kidding, C/B I love you!)
Goddamnit Kitten. I used it as an adjective I swear.
Wow, in that one picture, I totally thought it was Reese at first until I noticed the pinkish colored hair.
As for mom guilt – It may sound silly to some of you, but yeah it’s totally a thing and it sucks. As a working mom of two, I never feel like I give enough time to my kids, my husband, my house, or my job. Something always has to give.
Hudson Girl
Thank you for the reminder! I’m just finishing maternity leave with my second and hate the thought of leaving him. But looking at my daughter and seeing how much she’s learned and how social she is thanks to “school” it is for the best!
There are a lot of things I don’t like about Reese Witherspoon, but I have always liked her Saturday style (what she wears to run errands, go to her kid’s soccer games, grab brunch etc). Reese and I are about the same age, and I am from the South so Reese’s style is very familiar to me. In her real life she seems more Garden and Gun than Vanity Fair. She blends rich, amazing fabrics, and I like how she isn’t afraid of colors and patterns, but she isn’t afraid of khaki either. Now will I ever order from Dapper James or whatever that mess is called that she shills? Ah, no thank you, but I do think Reese has classic style with a great modern southern twist.
Yeah I like it too. It’s not even my style of dressing, but she always look put together and stylish.
When was Reese ever considered cool? Never, that’s when. Her kids are gorgeous and Ava does look both like Ryan and Reese.
I don’t have kids old enough to be cool but I do see teenagers these days that look so much more sophisticated than I do now. They all seem so comfortable with their body while I didn’t appreciate mine.
I agree that teenagers seem more mature and confident now then they did when I was in high school. In some ways. My kids are in high school and observing them in their natural habitat, I still see plenty of girls (and boys) who seem insecure, wanting to be invisible.
I saw your comment about your mom guilt, Isa. My heart goes out to you. I think balance is really tough, and I think you’re absolutely right that it’s about quality vs quantity. I teach preschoolers and the other day one of the girls gleefully told me that she’d just watched 5 episodes in a row of a tv show. And her mom stays home mostly full time. Not exactly quality time there.
…but did she tell you about the two hours they spent at the park playing hide-and-go-seek and drawing pictures with chalk? And after when they baked muffins together? And then played that Paw Patrol game eight times in a row? Or after that when they read their library books together…
Stop judging (This is for everyone)
“Good for her, not me…” Good for you, don’t let your kid watch tv then. Mine will. How ever many it takes till the baby feeds then goes down for her nap.
Isa…I totally know that feeling. It’s the worst. I just cry, drive away and call my mom (hands free!) lol. They stop crying as soon as you leave (apparently) if that’s any consolation!!
@ Esmom: Sorry! That sounded harsh…I didn’t mean it to. I just meant that we shouldn’t assume the worst (about the girl’s mom) but I’m just being over sensitive, I apologize. You were just giving an example. I’ll blame it on lack of sleep, yada yada yada.
Maybe they’re just better at hiding it. I couldn’t even enjoy the beach bc I was so self conscious.
Thank you, Esmom. I think that may be why I struggle so much lately, bc I feel like I’m always playing catch up and am lacking in quality time. My kids spent a lot of time watching tv while I tried to clean my house, and yet I’m still not caught up. I feel like I’m always dropping a ball: keeping up with work demands, taking care of the kids, providing nutritious food for my family, keeping a house clean, losing my baby weight from my toddler, nurturing my marriage…the list goes on and on. It’s not in my nature to not give 100%, but it’s not possible. My husband says it’s affecting my self esteem. Some days I feel like I’m doing okay, but sometimes I cry in the shower. Today’s a cry in the shower day if you can’t tell. 😖 I guess that’s just life though.
Isa hugs to you. If possible maybe you can have someone come and clean every few weeks for a break. You don’t need to be perfect. Believe, all your kids see is a Mommy they love. When they are older they will understand more than you can imagine. It’s the quality of time not quantity.
When my working mother used to take me to her office or play with me I loved it and those are my memories. Playing with my toys and reading together. I forget about her not being there as much.
I’ve wanted a house keeper for a while but my husband is resistant to the idea. I’m going to talk to him about it again bc I think it would be beneficial to my mental health. I agree that quality time is more important than quantity but I feel like quality time is taking a backseat to all the catching up I have to do. Like I said above, my mom was gone 5 days out of the week and we are fine and still close to her, and yet I still can’t seem to shake this stupid mommy guilt. My kids are happy and healthy and yet I still think of ways that I’m failing and what I need to do to improve, but I don’t have enough hours in the day.
I also know that if my kids grow up to have any sort of issues I will blame myself despite knowing that sometimes you can do everything right and it still happen.
ISA this quote helped me put things into perspective:
“Anxiety does not rob tomorrow of its sorrow, but it robs today of its strengths”
Seriously…fretting about it won’t make the future any easier!! It just takes you out of the moment when you should be present…
It’s not “he and I.” It’s “him and me.”
What’s great about him.
What’s great about me.
Not:
What’s great about he.
What’s great about I.
THANK YOU, Ramona Q! I was about to point out those errors, too, and English isn’t even my first language! Not to mention that I also cringed at the following two lines:
“It’s really beautiful to be on that journey with someone that you truly love and who truly respects you.”
It’s not “that”. It’s “who” both times.
Also, logically, the sentence doesn’t make sense, or so I hope. So, she loves him and he respects her, but she doesn’t respect him and he doesn’t love her? I would have preferred her to say: “[…] whom you really love and respect and who really loves and respects you.”
Then there’s this one:
“That’s a really great thing, to have my older kids teaching my younger children how to read.”
She only has one child young enough to still learn how to read, so the correct way to phrase it would be: “That’s a really great thing, to have my older kids teaching my younger child how to read.”
Fine, I’m going to take my inner Grammar Nazi out for a nice, long walk in the countryside now.
It’s so sweet what she said about her husband. They sound like a close couple as far as partnership.
I’m wishing CB would have done a story on Hugh Jackman and his wife on their anniversary vacation. Talk about love, the way he looks at her with such pure joy on the beach together.
Reese’s eyes look so pretty in that photo.
Awww, that sounds so sweet. I love Hugh and his wife. Their love for each other is so obvious and strong.
Don’t think Ryan is Reese’s dad!
Reese, you were never cool. Never.