As we have reported here before, Chrissy Teigen seemingly loves to duke it out with her followers on social media, especially when the topic at hand is her baby with husband John Legend. Chrissy was criticized back in February for announcing that she intended to hihire a night nurse to take care of her daughter Luna, born a week ago. Now the 30-year-old model Mom is on the receiving end of online attacks for going out to dinner – without her child in tow. She’s a proud mama, posting photos of the new arrival to Instagram, and I can’t believe people are incensed that she and John took a little “couple time” for themselves.
Chrissy and John welcomed Luna into the world on April 14 and I’m sure they’ve endured some long nights, feedings at all hours of the day and night and lots of dirty diapers since then. And then there’s the issue of taking a post-pregnancy pee, which Chrissy has been more than happy to discuss on social media. Definitely TMI. So, when photos of the couple leaving The Nice Guy restaurant in West Hollywood on Saturday night surfaced, her followers took to Twitter to let their displeasure be known. Chrissy posted some of the exceptionally mean comments on her Twitter feed with the caption, “I went to dinner. People are pissed. Good morning!”
I went to dinner. People are pissed. Good morning! pic.twitter.com/oQ54mtet8c
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 24, 2016
Side note: I love Chrissy’s ensemble. That coat is gorgeous and looks great with the sheer top and black leather pants. If she’s still working with a “baby body,” she’s doing a skillful job of camouflaging it.
Not a Mom here, but I really don’t think a few hours away from her parents is going to be permanently emotionally scarring for Luna. Besides, I am sure the patrons at the restaurant are glad they didn’t have to endure a crying baby while they are trying to enjoy their amuse bouches. Everybody needs a break sometimes, and I am very definitely #TeamChrisssy on this one. And I honestly think she and John don’t want to be away from this beautiful child for too long. I mean, look at how sweet she is.
Photo credit: Getty Images, Pacific Coast News, WENN.com
Of course it’s ok to go to dinner without your baby. People are crazy. I went to a Christmas party with my husband within two weeks of my first being born. I was a crazy mess (because hormones, anxiety about leaving the baby), but it was good for us.
Yeah, no shade about going out without the baby. Mental health breaks are super important – if you can get a chance to get out and have some time for yourself, that’s great. And it’s not like she took off to another city for a few nights of partying with a newborn left in someone else’s care.
My issue with Chrissy is that if it weren’t got garnering anger, she’d have nothing to do on social media. The woman seems to thrive off of the attention – good or bad. If she didn’t she wouldn’t post so many stupid things. There’s a certain amount of self-preservation that you need to do.
Well said, Erinn. I believe that Chrissy thrives on the drama created on social media – to each their own. Frankly I left that BS in Junior High and see no reason to go back to it.
Don’t understand why she fed the trolls. The best option would be to let it go. But guess she couldn’t. I didn’t like the sheer top and am so over that trend. That being said, there is nothing wrong with leaving your child for a few hours eight days after birth. It’s not like she is leaving the child with a stranger (she did say she was getting a nanny/night nurse so guess that’s who the baby was with). I would leave mine with my mother or mother-in-law.
I don’t think she thrives on it at all. Or likes to duke it out. She just believes that trolls should be able to take what she dishes back. After all, they say horrible things and think they’re cute about it. She calls them out on it. Most of them go running away with their tails between their legs because they forgot she was a real person. I like her stance that just because she’s a celebrity she has to take it and not give a witty scathing remark back.
To be fair, Crissy is not creating the drama on social media. A bunch of people with no life are creating the drama. I don’t think it’s fair to say she “strives” on it. She just responded to it. Could she have said nothing? Of course. She chose however to respond. I don’t see any fault from her end. If folks would stay the hell out of her business, she wouldn’t feel the need to justify her existence and this is from someone who doesn’t even like her.
@kodakay —
Here’s the thing. She DOES “thrive” on this. She constantly posts controversial things and plays dumb when people get mad. She loves it. If she didn’t love the attention she gets, she wouldn’t post so many asinine things.
This isn’t the only situation I’m commenting on – I’m commenting on her social media as a whole. She’s already ‘quit’ twitter once after mouthing off about the shooting that happened in Canada last year. She was completely baffled when people weren’t impressed with her selecting her babies sex, she’s completely baffled whenever anyone doesn’t agree with her.
“If folks would stay the hell out of her business, she wouldn’t feel the need to justify her existence and this is from someone who doesn’t even like her.”
If she was an adult who was secure with her life, and her choices, she wouldn’t feel the need to overshare her life on social media. But she acts like she needs that constant validation from strangers. And when you’re putting everything out there for attention – you have to accept it won’t all be positive attention. You don’t get to spend hours posting on twitter, or instagram, or whatever, and then wonder why people comment on your life – it’s silly. If you don’t want the negative backlash, set your accounts to private and only share with friends and family.
Yes, this case, she didn’t post that she’d gone out for dinner. But she went to one of the more pap swarmed restaurants – it’s not like she expected to go unnoticed.
See I don’t even need to type. Erinn said it all. This is where Chrissy lives, she likes controversies via social media.
Daring to draw a parallel to speak out against the appalling level of gun violence in her own country = “mouthing off”?
@starkiller
It wasn’t that she spoke out about gun violence – it was the way she did it – she had said something like “attack in Canada, we call it Tuesday here” RIGHT AFTER the news broke about the shooting. As if it’s like ‘well okay, Canada, it’s nothing special’. It was tactless, and trashy. Don’t immediately railroad a tragedy like that to get on your soap box. Yes, gun violence is an issue that needs to be greatly discussed and worked on – and it should be something she wants to talk about. But like I said – it was done in a tactless way, and when she got backlash for it, she ‘quit’ twitter for like a day.
@ Erin… I disagree. It is absolutely ridiculous that a) she received any shade for going out to dinner & b) that she is being criticized for responding to it.
I don’t care if she THRIVES on controversy or if you find her trashy or tactless, she is allowed to voice her opinions. She is allowed to overshare, if she wants to. If you don’t like it, don’t respond to it. It is as simple as that.
I think its ok to go out to dinner. However, she did choose a restaurant where she would be seen and photographed. I am not saying she shouldn’t be able to choose what restaurant she eats at, I am saying that the she shouldn’t be surprised she was criticized,
She should indeed be surprised she was criticized for going out to eat! The criticism is ridiculous! She can eat wherever she wants; it’s no one business. She does not have to be incognito in order to enjoy a nice dinner with her husband after the ordeal of childbirth.
We just got a young rescue dog (not a baby, I know) and even though I love him and he’s awesome in many ways, I seriously need breaks from dealing with him. I’m home with him all day and he’s sorta house broken and full of raging energy. And wants to eat everything he shouldn’t. It’s exhausting and so much work to keep up with him, try to instill good manners and keep him exercised. I love it when I can have a few hours away from him, even though I enjoy my time with him.
So I can’t imagine hating on her for going out to dinner. A baby is exponentially more effort than a dog, and it’s hardly a crime to leave the kid with a competent person while you have a little time away. Just because “you” wouldn’t personally want to leave your kid doesn’t mean that those who do are bad parents. Am I a bad dog mom because I leave the puppy with my husband an go into town alone? No. Do I love him any less? No. Good grief, some people clearly have way too much free time.
Congratulations on the puppy. They are work and not unlike when a child becomes mobile. Not as much but enough to be exhausting.
Yay for rescue pets! I am glad yours has a forever home.Enjoy the love.
Thanks! He’s a happy pup now that’s for sure. Just needs time and training and he’s going to be a good dog.
Erinn +1,000,000 to everything you articulated. Truth.
Wow. Do people not realize the paparazzi storm that would be if she was out with her little week old? Who would subject their baby to that? And besides that, who cares?! I wouldn’t go to dinner but I would have my husband watch the baby so I could go to the grocery store, or meet with girlfriends for a lunch date. I know CT can take care of herself but I just wouldn’t respond to the negative comments. It’s going to be a long year for her with the horrible people who make up the mommy police.
Not a fan of Teigen, but that blows. Everyone needs a break.
Agreed. I have never given birth or been pregnant (yet) but I’d imagine giving birth to be one of the most painful, life changing, emotional experiences. For all the different occupations who deserve a nice meal out, mothers (and fathers) would be near the top of that list.
I’m not sure why people expect her to be chained to Luna but people like to attack others for no reason. That’s what the internet is for. I also find it funny only Chrissy is attacked and not John.
Well of course only she is attacked, women are nothing outside of being wives and mothers. Bah can’t be treating them like they are people!
Yep, I got real tired of the joking to me when some people found out I was pregnant on how my life was over, “no more holidays/shoes/make up for you” said with a smug patronising tone and smirk.
Eh, thanks but I existed for 36 years before this with my own thoughts and dreams, and while my life will of course change, having a baby is not the same as having a lobotomy…or is it because no one told me that part….
Congratulations! (This sounds like a recent development?)
Thanks! 29 weeks and I feel a complete freak out/realisation is coming soon :/
It might feel like a lobotomy for a few weeks, but you will get past the brain fry. It’s definitely life changing, but totally worth it. You’re gonna do great!
Congrats Lindy79! Having a baby is nothing like a lobotomy. Though I agree about the brain fry. Haha
Really, it is getting ridiculous. I’m not a massive fan of hers or anything, but it’s like she can’t win. I don’t have kids but honestly, she went out to dinner…people need to take a breath and relax. To paraphrase Zapp, she can have a life outside of being a mother.
When my niece was born, she was such a difficult baby that for the first year or so of her life she stayed overnight with me once a week to give her parents a rest. So, these two going out to dinner is an absolute non issue for me. Dunno why people have to make nothing into something.
Exactly! My nephew was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. He was also a cranky, colicky demon child for the first year of his life.
I babysat for my sister when he was 6 weeks old so that they could go to a concert and get a break from the projectile vomiting.
Nothing wrong with having your newborn watched by a loving auntie or grandma — or an experienced night nurse. And way more responsible than subjecting your newborn’s immature immune system to a room full of hacking and coughing adults.
Nothing wrong with getting some dinner, my sis in law left her 6 month old with my mother n went to Vegas for new year eve, that was crap. Baby’s 1st n parents left for a week. Thi Chrissy girl, is friends with the Kardasses, makes me wonder. The only thing I find IMO selfish i needing a night nurse for newborn so u can sleep, that is selfish not dinner.
@Fee
It is selfish to have a night nurse so you can sleep????
That is completely ridiculous and you know it. Motherhood is not supposed to be some torture in which everyone has to pay their dues. I wish night nurses were a staple for new moms in the US, it would help so much and they would know it is okay not to be “superwoman” and I feel like it would probably help PPD in some cases. In many other countries the whole family of the mother bands together to help the new mom out and let her rest after the physical ordeal of childbirth. It is totally common, in my culture the family really chips in to help get the mother past her “Cuarentena” or first 40 days. For whatever reason, American society expects women to do it all, by themselves, and smile about it too, lest they be bullied by a bunch of judgmental strangers. It’s totally crazy, and truly not the way of the world for everyone else.
@Fee,
LOL So its selfish to find someone qualified to look after your baby while you sleep? The things you learn on celebitchy.
Good for you! I am so heart-warmed to read about a sister being so supportive and giving the couple a break and a chance to reconnect. I’m also super jealous but sincerely, you are a rock star for doing this for your sister.
Oh, Jay, that is so sweet. Not only was it amazingly generous of you to do that but I’m guessing it helped you build an extra special bond with the baby (even if she doesn’t remember it, lol).
As a new mom I didn’t go out much but I can tell you I sure wished I would have. There’s absolutely no need to be tethered to the baby 24/7.
I agree, though, that this mostly about creating drama just for drama’s sake. Ugh.
That was kind and thoughtful. She’s lucky to have you in her corner.
More ridiculous internet outrage. Everyone can be a critic on social media. Get a life! So she went out to dinner–big deal.
I’m going to need theses idiots to have several seats. I wish I could have been together enough and had someone I trusted enough to take care of my newborn so I could eat a meal without someone attached to my chest.
Because I guess all these people were absolute model parents who never did anything wrong or took any shortcuts or time for themselves. Obviously they were perfect and selfless and thus have a right to criticize and judge someone else.
Chrissy is typically trolling for a fight but this one is beyond the pale for her followers. She and her husband had a date. It’s very necessary after you have children to continue to put your marriage first.
Her critics got this one wrong.
That child so beautiful and so adorable!
Some of those comments were so mean! Insinuating that Chrissy doesn’t love her daughter enough? WTH? She needs to spend from now until the child is 18 sitting at home like a hermit and gazing at her to be a ‘good’ mom? So sad that we as women sometimes feel the need to judge each other’s choices so harshly. I know I sound kind of rah rah sisterhood this morning, but seriously…and as a sidenote, no one would ever shame a man for leaving his newborn for a couple of hours! I understand breast feeding comes into play, but let’s save the outrage for kids being neglected and abused. I’m sure Luna was well cared for during the few hours her parents were gone.
I had a hard recovery after a c-section, so I’d just be more jealous that anyone would even feel like getting that dressed up and going out a week after giving birth.
I’m impressed at her leaving the house at all!
I have a 17 month old and at the two week mark I was moving like an old lady of 112 with big leaky boobs, bleeding all over the joint and a baby that BF constantly.
Tbh, I left the house once in 6 weeks and that was to go to the baby health centre and even then only because I had to.
How DO these celebs do it???? Do they have massive injections of Vit C to accelerate recovery time? Seriously I just don’t get it.
I have a friend who had an emergency c-section with her baby. I wrote her a text, congratulated her, and told her to call whenever she was feeling like having coffee with me. I expected to hear nothing for at least 3-4 months. Because that’s how other women around me had done it. When the little nugget was 5 weeks, she texted me and bam, we were having dinner. With the kid attached to her of course. She said it was an effort but she needed to get out of the house at least once every day. I guess it’s just different for everyone. Different personalities, recovery time, and babies.
I’m going to get beat up for this. That’s ok. I can take it.
I don’t get what seems to be the trends (celeb trend, perhaps) of needing or having to or being expected to wear 3 inch heels throughout the pregnancy and up until the moment of birth or having the baby at 3pm and up and out running errands and kicking it with friends at 5pm (yes, I’m exaggerating).
What narrative or story is attempting to be told? To whom? And why? I’m not a slave to my baby or my baby? I’m still sexy to men? To myself?
What happen to the personal: me, my baby, my life and growing us, doing us, doing me? Perhaps that’s what is being done on each person’s own terms and I just see it or get it but their seems to be some sort of corresive collective trend (demand) around personal identity and not changing to accommodate baby (even a little bit). Then, of course, on the other end, there are some in the SAHM camp who have totally abdicated their personal identity–but I’m not talking about them. Where is the comfortable middle? The common-sense? The personal & private sense about self, based on knowledge of self?
I’m serious. I don’t get it. And I’m really not trying to be stupid.
Peace
I agree. There is a balance. Or, rather, there can be, and even the extremes can have their reasons. I don’t really understand the trend toward the personal identity at all costs once you have a kid. Yes, it’s important to have time for yourself and your interests and your work, but at the end of the day, it does change your life. It does alter your family dynamic. There has to be at least a little wiggle room, for both parents. If you didn’t want your life to change one iota, then why did you have a child?
You can still be a strong, smart, capable woman, and admit that your life might have a different focus with a child.
It’s what happens when you reduce pregnancy and postpartum recovery to just a number on a scale. And it’s what happens when motherhood turns into a career avenue.
You won’t get slammed by me because I agree. I see women in heels and very pregnant and think she may hurt herself like that. I don’t see power, I see an accident. The need to be fashionable overrides safety for some.
It is a balance that can happen if a person is reasonable. If there ever is a time in a woman’s life when she should not think about being sexy it is after giving birth. But suddenly there seems to be a race to prove how gorgeous someone is post birth.
ITA, the focus is on the wrong things. I don’t know why we care so much about who is wearing what at all times, like if your self-confidence takes a hit for one minute it’s the END OF THE WORLD. It’s okay to be less than thrilled with how you look. It’s okay to just focus on a brand new role in life and everything around it and just not think about your appearance or what others might say. You’re allowed to have baby weight and hate it and just not do anything about it. That’s okay. Just be, man.
It’s like these women think a woman’s life should be defined by her children, which is an ideal I truly dislike. You can love something/someone with every fibre of your being without it being at the center of everything you do.
Team Chrissy.
Yes and Yes! I love you!!
This so damn much. Argh! So sick of The Mommy Brigade and all their sanctimony.
On another note, I LOVE Teigen’s pregnancy style. Even that gold dress looks so gorgeous on her. Sigh.
Best answer I’ve heard on it. The mom cliques try and make it seem like you have to give up yourself to raise a child, but I haven’t had that issue yet. Sadly, I have lost more than a few friends to motherhood. Everyone is different.
Everyone is different. Maybe some mothers want to go immediately back to work or go out a lot right away. That’s fine. It’s also fine if a mother feels the need stay home. We don’t need to denigrate “the mommy brigade” for their choices, just as we don’t need to denigrate the “I’m not changing my life for my kid brigade” for their choices.
Disagree. Anyone who uses motherhood as a means to make others feel *less than* while building themselves up should be called out on it, and yes that is why the term “Mommy Brigade” exists.
There are plenty of mothers who don’t fall into that category so there’s no need for them to be concerned but it’s so f*cking monotonous to watch sanctimommies sh*t on other mothers because they make different choices. For whatever reason, some women feel like it’s their business to tell others how to raise their kids. As long as the kid isn’t being abused and is loved and cared for then people need to mind their own, end of.
Then again, as a childfree person I guess it doesn’t really impact me either way other than it being grating as hell to behold and making me never want to have a kid.
I’m all for supporting mothers in whatever choices they make. I hear people talking about the mommy brigade and to me it just seems like a derogatory term for sah moms. If you’re just talking about people who are judgmental of how other moms do things, then I agree with you. But working moms and other kinds of moms can be just as judgmental.
For me the “mommy brigade” are the ones who constantly feel the need to judge and pass comment on everyone else, regardless of whether they are stay at home or workers or whatever they choose to do.
(I’ve also found some dads that can be just as bad)
@SloaneY-My mom was a SAHM and it was amazing for me. I never took it for granted because growing up in a squarely middle-class town during a time when divorce was at an all-time high, I was one of the few in my peer group who had married parents and a SAHM. My mom was available to pick me up from school when I was sick, to watch after myself and the neighborhood kids while their parents were working, and to drop off my bagged lunch when I forgot it in the morning.
It was a wonderful thing for me, but my mom is the first to tell you that she was VERY lucky that my father made enough money to support our family. I just think single mothers, working mothers etc have so much on their plate already, it is so unfair to make them feel guilty or somehow defective as mothers for not having the opportunity to be there for every second of their child’s life.
….and even if the mother is rich and has every available resource like Teigen, I STILL think it’s her choice to take a few hours away from her child. Sometimes parents need that reprieve for their own mental sanity. Additionally, if it makes them better parents in the end, then so what? Who are we to judge? I think you probably agree with me about this, I’m just questioning those that feel the need to criticize the experiences and choices of other mothers, that’s all.
I totally agree with you.
It starts when your pregnant and the judgments never stop. There is a Mommy brigade on both sides. The career mothers who think sahms are old fashioned pathetic throwbacks and the sahms who think working mothers neglect their children for selfish reasons.
You never win.
Exactly. You’re either a martyr or a failure. As if being a parent wasn’t hard enough…
The baby is a week old, she shouldn’t be out in public period. When my son was born, I was told he had to stay home 1 month, no stores, parks, etc. When my daughter was born in the winter (and a month early) I was told 3 MONTHS. The baby isn’t vaccinated yet, the flu is still going around, etc.
Anyway, good on her on leaving the baby home and getting away.
Different docs and different recommendations. My second was just born in January – our doctor said we could take her out – just not let any strangers hold her/touch her/cough on her. We went to the mall when she was 4 weeks old (a big outing for us!) and all went well. We went back to Church when she was six weeks old, and I wore her to keep the well-meaning crazies away. I also took walks with her starting at 3 weeks when the temp was above 30 degrees.
Ok. I’m in this camp with you all.
3 months at home? You’ve got to be kidding right? I’d have gone stir crazy. Child three was born 3 months prem. I was out and about with her the day after she came home from hospital eleven weeks later because, you know, life and all that.
And as for Chrissie. I like her. If she wants and feels up to going out for a meal with her husband and has good childcare at home, then good on her.
You realize this would be virtually impossible for many parents, right? Many go back to work long before 3 months. Sadly, some go back to work in as little as 4-6 weeks (not of their own choice). Further, if you have an older child who goes to school or some extracurricular activities, you’re going to have to leave the house. And that’s not to mention everyday tasks like grocery shopping, dry cleaning, car maintenance…the list goes on. You just do the best you can to keep your baby safe and untouched during flu season. I find it hard to believe a doctor would make such an unrealistic request of a new parent.
I’m just relaying what her doctor told me. I’m not passing judgement on anyway so let’s not make this a mommy war. I was simply defending a mom’s prerogative to go out without baby in tow, especially when that baby is 1 week old.
It wasn’t easy, btw, but I was a young mom and the doctor scared the snot out of me, so we made it work. I’m not saying anyone should have to do this, or would want to.
I’ll back you up, JULUHO. I got the same message. My children were both (only) 1.5 weeks early, but I was told up and down no no no taking them out. My MIL tried to have a family picnic (45 minute drive away) in a public park 4 weeks later to show her to the entire extended (massive) family and my doctor said- are you insane? No way. I don’t remember exactly but I think he said a fever under 2 months old is an immediate overnight hospital stay. I personally was a mom who didn’t WANT to “get out” and get a babysitter and do my hair/nails/dinner. I was really overcome with emotion at having these babies (I had never been around any babies before), and I wanted to soak up every second. I got beat up no nstop for it- people offended I didn’t want to meet up right away, relatives irritated that they didn’t get their “alone” time to babysit- I got flamed for the opposite reasons. It goes both ways.
If I remember right the doctor was worried about RSV? I don’t know.
I get you about be flamed both ways. A mom (especially a new mom) can’t make a decision without everyone commenting and degrading. It’s the worst. Now that my kids are older though there doesn’t seem to be the same reactions to family decisions (or I just stopped noticing).
I personally couldn’t imagine going out after one week, leaky boobs, stiches, mega pads, dark circles, and feeling like you’re under some sleep Torture experiment? No way. Forget it lol.
Honestly I think as women we need to be aware of some of the things that happen to our bodies postpartum. There this stigma that all of it is tmi and it does is all a disservice. I wish more people had warned me about the first postpartum bathroom experiences (because holy moly was that awful) or the craziness with the hormones. But we’re all taught it’s to much info and to solider on alone.
That said-i don’t social media with a celeb is a place to do it. But that stuff does trickle down the social ladder.
And of course they can go to dinner for less than 2 hours without their kid. They weren’t bragging about it on social media-they just went. If I had a nanny or a night nurse to watch for a few hours It would have been so good for me mentally. Hormones are crazy.
Yeah, I agree. I am a smart (haha, patting myself on the back here) woman who did a lot of reading before I gave birth, and still the whole experience was so shocking and traumatic for me. It was entirely different than what I anticipated.
Now, granted, my labor progressed very very quickly and I ended up doing it all without an epidural (never again) because the anesthesiologist didn’t make it to my room in time, but still. I had no idea it would be so bad, and I may have a touch of PTSD from the whole thing.
“They weren’t bragging about it on social media-they just went.”
They went to a celeb hotspot where they knew they’d be photographed. It’s not like they went privately to a restaurant. They wanted to be seen and photographed. So in a sense, Chrissy brought this internet storm on herself. Having said that, I think the Internet reaction was ridiculous because women don’t have to be chained to their babies every waking moment. But it’s not like Chrissy went out privately; she went out publicly knowing full well she would be photographed.
I think after you have a baby, you often just want to get back to your normal life. If her normal life is getting dressed up and getting photographed….then…..
I just don’t get the judgment. Let women do what they need to do to be healthy individuals. And maybe it was John who wanted the restaurant, not Chrissy.
I guess by bragging I meant they weren’t posting pictures of getting ready saying “Parents free night out!” or “So ready to get away from this kid!”
Why would they think anyone would get upset about them going to dinner?
Yet another proof that we human beings are seriously messed up by this internet thing. Why on Earth would I ever write to a celebrity, calling her names, saying her vagina smells or whatever, saying she doesn’t love her child because she went out for dinner? Or for any reason?
WTF? I could never even write or say that about anyone I know, much less a celebrity. People are crazy – crazy, I tell you.
She has a two-hour break to go to dinner, probably pumped some breast milk and probably has her mother with her to take care of Luna while she’s away.
People are crazy.
“People are crazy” most perfectly describes the current climate of social media and cannot be said often enough.
Social media really brings out the insanity like nothing else. I swear, it’s like watching a train wreck on most days. And don’t get me started on the comments section of my hometown newspaper. Trolls, all of them.
Agree so much. I can’t stand it sometimes. It used to be you just kept things to yourself, now it needs desperately to be told to the universe.
People are crazy. A friend of mine was over at our place (in San Diego at the time–warm and sunny) and a random stranger told her off for having her newborn outdoors (we were sitting on the lawn). Insane!
When I took my fourteen month old on holiday (2 hr flight away) other couples told us how they would never travel with a baby that young and would leave it with family. I was like, well, I don’t have any family around and I’ve been delaying this trip since I found out I was pregnant so how much longer would be okay with you? People are insane….why on earth you would even have an opinion on the matter is beyond me.
Granted, I’m not a parent, but I absolutely do not get women who behave as if the second you give birth, you stop existing as a separate human being and as a woman. It is possible to love your child and be devoted to them without chaining every second of your life to them.
Frankly, the women who constantly need to judge other mothers (especially new mothers, which seems stressful enough to deal with) and blather on about how devoted they are to their kids and never want to leave them are probably the same ones who called the school principal every time their kid got a bad grade and end up with young adults who don’t know how to do anything for themselves because they’ve been told they are special snowflakes their entire life.
And worst, it reeks of hatred for other women-these are probably the same women who consistently vote against women’s healthcare because they agree that their only function in life is to be baby factories.
People are literally insane. So if JOHN went out, that’s totally cool, but if THE MOTHER goes out, she’s a bad parent? For going out to dinner!? This parent shaming trend is insane. Social media has turned everyone into kangaroo court judges, anonymous ones. JFC, raise your own kids and get it together. I understand some things, like Mama June or Kate Gosselin, who make no secret of their disdain for their own kids, but to criticize a mother for going out to dinner with her husband, who is apparently faultless in his desire to go to dinner as well?
My first was born a few weeks ago on April Fools Day. He was almost 6 weeks premature and spent 10 days in the NICU.
Annnnyway, it’s hard. I’m breast-feeding and super sleep deprived, getting no more than a few hours at a time at night, but! That’s with 1) a loving, supportive partner who has been taking the night shift when he can (although he is working while I am on maternity leave, so I’m doing the heavy lifting in the baby care department right now), and 2) a relatively easy vaginal birth, from which I healed quickly and was up and walking around almost right away, and 3) lots of family support around – grandparents and aunts and friends, etc. I’m luckier than most.
Parenting a newborn is hard, and I would LOVE to have a night nurse or a date night with my husband right now and feel comfortable that my son is okay while I’m out or sleeping. I think some women resent that Chrissy and John are able to do this when they felt or feel that they couldn’t/can’t. I am choosing to be happy for them and little Luna, who has parents who recognize how important it is to take care of themselves, too.
Hang in there momma!! My daughter will be four months next week. I think I started getting five hours of sleep in a row around 6 weeks. It happened once or twice, and then by 8 weeks, it was happening consistently. I felt like a new person! Congrats on your little one!
I think you hit the nail on the head. People are likely a bit resentful of her and being cruel about their own hang-ups. I’ve said it before on here but I was never so unprepared for anything like I was unprepared for the lack of freedom after giving birth. There’s no freedom to sleep, eat, use the bathroom, shower, leave the house, hell, take a 5 minute walk. It’s overwhelming to be so in-demand all the time. But it does pass. My daughter is 3 now and while she is still super demanding, those first very difficult months are just a fuzzy memory now.
I think you are right. I think there is some resentment going on.
I can also relate about the shock when you realize your life is changed forever. It was a hard adjustment for awhile.
@kristen, mine was born 6 weeks early and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. My husband and I would go down to the hospital cafeteria together while he was in the capable hands of the NICU nurses to decompress and reflect. Almost like a date, but it was nice just to run downstairs for a breather.
As for Chrissy, I agree with other posters, this is such a non-issue.
My little girl was born 4 months early at 23 weeks & we spent 176 days in the NICU. She came home on O2 & has a feeding tube. I would have killed for a night nurse. I had never been so exhausted in my life. It does go by quickly & eventually you will get some sleep!
I had PPA, undiagnosed the first go round, and it almost killed me. I wish I’d allowed myself a couple of hours out here and there with my first one for mental breaks! It was finally by my third when I thought “wait. I can love her and also love myself and my husband and our relationship.” Good for her. Breaks, less pressure, and medication the second and third times made me a much better mommy.
I’m not “outraged”, and I do think those people attacking her went waaaay too far….but I kind of see the bewilderment that a week in they’re going out. I’m currently pregnant with our first, and after 9 long months of waiting for her to get here (and this hasn’t been a glamorous pregnancy, I’m only just now not sick everyday and I’m almost to the 3rd trimester) I don’t think I’d feel comfortable leaving her that early on! I think a week in we’ll still be terrified that we have a little human to keep alive. And I don’t think I’d be over the awe of gaping at this tiny thing we created that early either. They struggled for a long time to get pregnant, I’d think they’d still be enamored with being at her side non stop. My husband has already said he’s not leaving her side even at naps when she finally gets here. To each their own, and if they’re comfortable leaving her then they should be able to without people so viciously attacking Chrissy. I can just understand some shock because I don’t think we’d be able to leave our baby after a week without being neurotically worried the entire time regardless of who we left her with.
Meh, your experience isn’t universal. Clearly John and Chrissy have someone (or multiple people) watching Luna whom they trust to keep their kid alive.
I am so tired of the whole “Oh, well, to each her own, but I would never do XYZ!” It’s so passive aggressive. Try it out in other circumstances.
“Oh, well, I like those jeans on you, but I would NEVER wear white jeans.”
“Oh, well, that lipstick is fine, but I would NEVER wear lipstick to church.”
“Oh, yes, formula is great for babies, but I would NEVER give my baby formula!”
Ha ha…that’s so true and you illustrated it perfectly with those examples.
I love Kristen! People need to get over themselves, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. Get over it!
I didn’t say my experience is universal, I simply said I can understand some of the shock people have that they were comfortable enough to go out a week in. And I’m not being passive aggressive, I did say if they feel comfortable enough to do so, they should be able to without being attacked, because her being attacked is completely ridiculous. I just can’t foresee myself being healed or comfortable enough a week in to do the same thing, like I said regardless of who we left her with. Everyone has different comfort levels and of course a million opinions on parenting, so to each their own is a nice way of saying I may not agree with everyone else’s ideas, actions and opinions, but I can’t knock them for having/doing them
Eh. She didn’t say NEVER in her post. She just said she couldn’t see herself doing that. She has a different opinion. It’s not the same as someone else’s.
KC7 never said her experience was universal. She was just saying how she thinks she will feel when her baby arrives. No need for a “meh” and an unfounded accusation of being passive-aggressive and a “try it out in other circumstances”. For the life of me I will never understand why so many moms go after other moms for just expressing their opinions.
I think it’s because she’s your first. When you have other kids, you can’t stop everything because the others need you as well. Everyone has their own thing, though. Just from someone whose kids are older, I think when she’s napping, you will be thrilled to get a laundry or meal done, or even just nap yourselves. Enjoy her! She sounds like she has two thrilled parents waiting for her.
Thanks for the nice words Jenn12! My preggo hormones were getting a little stirred up from feeling snarked at for my opinion, someone laughing at said snark and then someone telling me to get over myself for having an opinion even though we’re all here posting opinions….the joys of hormones making me overly sensitive are just boundless lol ordinarily I wouldn’t have taken offense. And I definitely think we’ll be that way because she’s our first! We had a lot of trouble conceiving, I think that plays into it as well.
ITA, it also depends on how many younger siblings you have. If you had a lot, things just don’t phase you.
((Hugs)) KC7. I understand what you mean because I’m the same way. I couldn’t imagine doing it this early – I would probably have a heart attack worrying about what’s happening while I’m gone – I couldn’t enjoy myself. I had a “difficult” time too (first pregnancy I lost twins), so maybe that contributed to how overprotective I feel about my babies/children. I was the same with both my children, can’t really say much changed but my husband was really supportive and did a lot of the other things that needed to get done as well. It’s not passive aggressive, it’s giving a different viewpoint and I think you were very respectful and acknowledged that Chrissy and John have a right to do what’s best for them without being attacked (which I agree with as well).
All the best with the rest of your pregnancy.
Being pregnant and thinking about how everything will be and how you’ll behave when the baby arrives is totally different than when they are actually in front of you. You really cannot know how it’ll be until it happens. Maybe Chrissy thought she’d never want to leave her kid and would watch them nap prior to birth but then after birth, John suggested an hour and a half for themselves and she jumped at the chance.
The other thing I’ll say is-as someone who has been through the toils of reproductive assitance-please don’t suggest that someone who needed help getting pregnant should behave differently towards parenting than someone who conceived in the typical way. It’s disrespectful to those using ART and those who aren’t. Neither wants their child more or less based on how they got pregnant and neither should be held to a lesser or higher standard of motherhood.
Hey you know what? I was like you with my first and with my last. Chrissy wanted to go out and she did. Good for her. I didn’t want to go out and I didn’t. Good for me.
Although honestly, I don’t go out much anyway so maybe that is more a factor than the kids.
In case you can’t tell, I was writing this in support of your statement haha
Eh, I don’t know… My husband and I struggled with infertility for years and finally got pregnant with twin girls via IVF; they made their debut on December 21st. My husband was home on paternity leave and a week in my mom – who I trust with the world, including our two babies – was pushing us out the door for some time away and to ourselves. We grocery shopped and went to lunch, had a lovely hour and a half dinner out on NYE, and I really think that helped me, and ultimately us as a family, tremendously, in those first few CRAZY weeks. I understand that not everyone has the same type of family support, to each their own, blah, blah, blah, but caring for a newborn is exhausting, overwhelming, thankless (let’s be honest, they don’t do much at first other than eat and sleep) work and if taking a shower, putting on some leather pants, leaving your baby with your mom, and going out to dinner with your husband makes you feel good then do it. And in my case, I think I’m a better mom for it.
K-
I think you are in that special time when you are nesting and excited to meet your baby. It does seem like you would never let your baby out of your sight.
My first came after my ex and I suffered a tragedy that affected both our families and a new baby went a long way helping us all heal. The pregnancy felt special.
After giving birth I had the worst time trying to nurse and felt like a failure when we had to supplement in the beginning until she latched properly. I could barely sleep because I feared SIDS, even though I had a night nurse, two sisters and my mother there. I was a leaky puffy eyed mess. I could barely shower fearing something bad was going to happen. My ex was scheduled to go out of town for two weeks and he would not go because he was like me.
Finally after 3 weeks of this my mother forced us to go out. More like bullied really. We were ordered not to come home for at least 3 hours.
It was the first time I fixed myself up and we went for a nice long dinner and visited some friends. I wasn’t allowed to text but received updates every half hour and it felt like I could breathe again. I needed to be me again and I needed that break. It broke the ice for me to slowly realize my baby was fine without me attached 24 hours a day.
Yes we stared at her all of the time. When she smiled the first time we both got teary because we both felt like we had done this right.
By the third I was basically over the earth mother routine and was happy when my baby was born but also much more confident.
Also don’t stress about your body post baby. Just enjoy and relax. Plenty of time later for society to body shame you into feeling adequate believe me. Ignore and press your mental mute button.
I meant inadequate. Sorry, I fail at multitasking
Being a mom to a small child myself I say good for her. Moms should do whatever they can to have a small break, accept all help and do what actually make them happy so the child is not feeling the stress from a stressed mom. And we moms know that despite all the literature and all preparations you go though while expecting,all the jokes how drastically the life changes the second your child arrives into this world, you are never prepare for that untill you go though it yourself. Having said all that I can not justify that outfit. It’s horrible. and I can’t imagine how that could be comfortable one week into breastfeeding. Her breasts probaby are still adjusting to the milk needs of the baby. I personally felt like I was carrying two heavy rocks on my chest one week into the feeding
Yes, yes and lol yes.
My sister in law would take my firstborn once a week to give me a break shortly after her was born. I was suffering from severe PPD coupled with CD, and every minute of quiet was a godsend.
Judging a new mom because she’s getting a few hours of alone time shows that you don’t care about the baby but, rather, defending your own choice to do the same. Martyring yourself on the Internet so that you look brave only makes you look like a douche.
Wow I love this post.
Martyring yourself in the internet sums up exactly what is going wrong with social media, or any website where you can exercise your “right” to an opinion.
Lack of empathy is killing our society at an alarmingly fast rate.
On a different note, what do the initials CD stand for? Thanks
Clinical depression.
Absolutely no hate from me but rather interrogations. Isn’t she bothered by lochia? Damn, one week after delivery, leather pants were definitely not an option for me. The no-bra either. I mean, doesn’t she leak or simply feel pain? I guess she’s one of the lucky ones, so why not going out if she feels like it?
But if they picked this particular restaurant, they sure knew they woul be papped.She probably expected comments to be about how she rocked her outfit so soon after the birth.
Anyway, this baby won’t be scarred for life because her parents took a couple of hours outside the house.
I was surprised at the outfit, too. I bled for 8 weeks after and you have to wear pads so leather pants would have been a big no. I also would not have gone out without a bra with pads in it. Not hating on her, but just wondering how she wore that without leaking anywhere.
I’ve noticed that from a few Instagram fit moms I follow. They have their baby then pot photos a few days later in skimpy clothing.
My bleeding wasn’t even that bad and I used always infinity pads, but they don’t look like they’re wearing a pad at all. It blows my mind.
She never likes to be criticized. We were supposed to ooh and ahh. Welcome to motherhood and a new world of being judged Chrissy. It will be interesting to see how she handles social media now. Introducing a child into the mix will change the tone of her comment section.
There are a lot of children that I worry about in this world, but this obviously loved and well cared for baby is not one of them.
The baby probably slept the entire time anyway. Even if she didn’t she was under the care of her night nurse that probably speaks 5 languages and can talk with animals.
Chrissy probably doesn’t have to cook or clean and this is the only kid she has. I would imagine she spends more time with her baby than the average woman.
the baby is well cared for. She didn’t abandon her. She went to dinner. Honestly its just ridiculous that a mother can’t go out to dinner without her baby after two weeks, why not? What about her father? Why isn’t he held to the same scrutiny? Oh yes because when fathers take care of their kids it’s called baby sitting.
What do they think people with more than one child do? I had number four in October. C-section with spinal headache. Awful. But six days after he was born I went to my 12-year-old’s volleyball game while my mother-in-law stayed with the little ones. Life doesn’t shut down because you had a baby.
I think I’m just impressed with mums who can go out that soon. Like. There are some things that need to hang out for awhile, if you don’t have a C section! Maybe a grandma is with the baby, getting some of that newborn energy?
Amazed that the dad gets no criticism, but the mother is reviled for daring to go to dinner. What is the point to sitting and staring at a sleeping baby? She seems very well loved. Social media has turned people into anonymous bullies and judges. Parent shaming is actually a trend. I took my elder one out at two weeks because I was so bored at home, and she loved the stroller and I either got, “She’s so small! Why is she out?” or “Good for you, already exercising!” Very few actually minded their own business.
Can’t stand her, thirsty and fake.
Agree. But I don’t fault her for going out for dinner without the baby. I’m sure she had her nurse and security and was just fine.
Okay, s he just went through a damn pregnancy and giving birth, and it’s a problem cause she went out to dinner! Gmafb. First, there’s a dad there, too, so give him shit too if you’re gonna be that pretty. 2) I think she deserves a dinner out after going through all that, trying to get pregnant for years, and you haters can’t even give her a dinner out! 3) I’m sure THEY have the best of care to watch their little one, as in probably an actual baby nurse. 4) mind your own business.
Boy am I glad I’m not having kids. …. Such a shame, it must be a blast, having people judge your every move.
“Boy am I glad I’m not having kids. …. Such a shame, it must be a blast, having people judge your every move.”
I said the same above. The judgment is completely terrifying, as if having and raising a child isn’t a daunting challenge in and of itself.
You learn to ignore people 😉
Ha ha…Well, I applaud you moms for staying strong in the face of unwarranted criticism and unsolicited advice.
I think I’d just delete all my social media if I ever became pregnant.
HOW is this anyone’s business.
Did these women also come for Ivanka Trump.. she was out and about on the campaign with her father.. Or do they just troll certain women. Chrissy needs to stop replying to these people. She is giving them what they want.. Attention and interaction.
Exactly. It ISN’T anyone’s business, but people will say that she made it their business by posting a simple pic on social media.
Also, Ivanka Trump got SLAMMED around here for saying that she works 60 hours a week and for going back to work a week after her baby was born. I also vehemently defended her because it is HER damn choice.
The thing is her comments about motherhood have always been really pragmatic and fair. She said this in a People interview:
“This is an inclusive conversation,” she adds, noting that the conversation should also be free of judgement. “I’m not here to tell people how to work, or the hours they should work,” Trump says.
As much as I cannot stand Drumpf, I like Ivanka. She’s smart and articulate and has a great work ethic. Hell, if she was a father instead of a mother she would be heralded for all these qualities. Ugh.
lol people are so dam judgemental these days, what is she supposed to do ? lock herself up in the house ? New mom aren’t allowed to take time for themselves ?
If you’re going to go out to dinner post baby its much easier to do it in the early days. Once a baby gets older and realizes that mom isn’t around its much harder. Good for Chrissy I wish I’d gone out more often when mine was this small.
People in poor relationships,..ie, marriages, will throw this sort of shade. In my experience, the best parents have strong relationships SEPARATE from the two person team they present to their children. Parenting is a long hard journey. Filled with ups and downs that can’t be predicted. I think Jonh and Crissy have a strong healthy marriage and are going to be wonderful kind fun loving parents!! ❤
@Jasmine
PERFECTLY PUT!
So true.. some people get angry when they see the life others are having that they want themselves.. and yes I think she and John are doing the right thing. They are still a couple. Their world is the baby; but they need to remember and nurture that part of their world that is still them as a man and woman.
Jealousy makes some lash out.
That’s dumb as f**k. During the first year of parenting, maintaining emotional intimacy with your partner can be a challenge. I think it’s awesome that they’re taking a little time to themselves – happier parents are better parents.
This is just the logical consequence of living your life on Twitter. Of course it’s okay for Chrissy to go out for dinner, but this insane criticism is what happens when you invite commentary into your life as a part of your job.
You realize celebs who are not on social media get criticized everyday as well.
Huh?
Once you’re famous it doesn’t matter if you’re on social media or not. People will discuss, bash, and judge everything you do.
That’s what Colette is saying.
I think the point is, this particular celebrity is constantly complaining and fighting on her media pages. Unlike a lot of others. It’s rather unique to her.
But my point is that Chrissy Tiegan is a Twitter celebrity. She’s become famous because of her social media presence, and by essentially inviting other Twitter users to interact with her. This isn’t about someone who isn’t on social media being raked over the coals, at all. When you invite people into your life, sometimes you’re going to get opinions you don’t like. This is Chrissy’s job.
Who cares. A big deal ovber nothing. I wouldn’t even respond to is.
I am a mother of two. Team Chrissy all the way!!
I don’t understand what the big deal is here. If they were going out every night, maybe then I could see someone leaving a comment. But in all honesty, it’s their f*cking baby not anyone else’s. Why do people care so much? I am sure that child is well taken care of.
Glad to see this topic isn’t full of nutcases. Too many people worried about how other’s live their lives and Twitter can sometimes be the worst.
People are insane. Of course you get to leave the house without your baby!!! Much better for the baby to be sleeping in her own room with a trustworthy babysitter than dragged out to a restaurant. Or for the the mother to be stuck indoors driven to breaking point with cabin fever. Mental health is important, continuing to live in the world, engaging in normal social interactions and having a life outside of baby is essential for good mental health and that’s essential to be the best parent you can be.
The expectations and judgements on women aren’t just ridiculous, they’re positively harmful. I’d hope any new mother would ignore that nonsense and recognise those people for the clueless, miserable little bullies they are. Misery loves company, don’t ever join those people or care for their opinion.
Oh, for the love of God. People are so freaking ridiculous.
Why aren’t they criticizing Ivanka Trump? She popped out that baby and looked better than ever and was off doing appearances and out and about everywhere within what seemed like days. LOL Poor Chrissy just wants a dinner with her man for a few hours and the judgy moms are all over the place..
What coat? Is there a pic missing from this article?
I should be surprised, buuuut I’m not. For some bizarre reason, we seem to think motherhood should strip women of any individual identity beyond the child.