I don’t normally sit around having a lot of respect for Rob Schneider… because he’s Rob Schneider. He’s Deuce Bigalow. Actually, that is a good reason to have respect for him. Anyway, last week Lindsay Lohan was scheduled to be on the “Tonight Show.” Then she was arrested on a DUI for the second time, you know the rest of the story. So Rob Schneider took her place on the show, dressing up like her, including the ridiculous ankle monitoring device Lindsay’s been parading around. He got some good jokes in there, but a lot of it was funny because it was true. When Jay Leno asked Schneider-as-Lohan what happened, he responded, “Well, it was my assistant’s fault. I asked for a Diet Coke,” jokingly implying that the assistant mistook coke the drink for coke the drug. Leno also asked Schneider-as-Lohan which of her movies was her favorite. “I think Herbie Fully Loaded. Herbie was the car; I was fully loaded.” At one point Schneider took off the alcohol monitoring device and started drinking from it, revealing that it was actually a flask. I thought the whole thing was pretty funny. Dina Lohan, aka WonderMom, didn’t.

“We have a great respect for Jay Leno, but we are disappointed in the path he chose to allow a guest to make light of a very serious situation concerning Lindsay. Thank you to Craig Ferguson for not making a mockery of such a serious situation to which teens and young adults are facing across the country.”

[From Access Hollywood]

Well today, Rob Schneider responded, and not in his characteristic juvenile humor way. He was right on the ball.

“’When Mrs. Lohan stops partying with her child, then I’ll have an ounce of respect for her… I don’t care if her parents are both crummy – you cannot blame your parents anymore. She’s not a kid… Lindsay, get it together, America will forgive you but you gotta do something positive with your life. I hope she does okay but at a certain point, there’s so many bigger problems in the world than Lindsay Lohan. I hope she gets her head out of her nice, cute little rear end and finds a life for herself. She’s very talented, and a special little actress but there are so many people out there who’d trade positions with her in a heartbeat and use it better than she is.’”

[From People]

That’s so well said, I don’t even have a snotty reply. Except that I’m pleasantly surprised that such an on-the-mark statement came from Rob Schneider. I can’t believe that Dina Lohan has time to comment on Rob Schneider’s parody of Lindsay, considering all she has going on. She’s got a kid about to lose her life on one side of the country and she’s busy fighting her estranged husband on the other side. She really thought people making fun of Lindsay for being a moron was so important she had to condemn them? Who in the world is that nutcase to judge anyone? It’s like the rest of the world realizes she’s an enabler and a user, and she just sits there singing “I don’t hear you!” over and over with her hands on her ears. So Dina Lohan, thanks for being such a moron that you make Rob Schneider look like Socrates. It’s been a good day for you.

Note by Celebitchy: I’ve been looking for the video, but it’s not available on youtube any more thanks to a “copyright claim” by NBC. Don’t those network suits realize yet that the Internet is the best publicity they’re going to get?