Kristin Cavallari and husband Jay Cutler took their kids on a family vacation over the 4th of July. Without telling us where they went, Kristin posted the cute picture above of her sons enjoying some beach time with their dad. Whereas I look at this picture and think I really need to know where she got those adorable swim trunks, the Internet Crusaders saw yet another opportunity to take a mother to task for a situation they know nothing about. Apparently, it was deduced by several commenters that Kristin and Jay were starving their children who saw fit to lecture Kristin about it.
Kristin Cavallari is no stranger to getting an earful about her parenting choices, but even she didn’t expect a sweet Fourth of July photo of her boys enjoying the beach would cause a stir.
After posting a shot of sons Camden and Jaxon wading with their father, quarterback Jay Cutler, the former reality star was accused of not feeding her children enough.
“Wow. I want to like this picture but for obvious reasons I cant. Please look into feeding your babies,” one commenter wrote. Another shared, “I’m not hating but that little boys back does look really skinny. I have a kid and that just looks so skinny.”
Kristin has been open about her diet in the past, writing in Balancing in Heels: My Journey to Health, Happiness, and Making it all Work about how she eats a diet free of genetically modified organisms (GMOs). She turned to homemade goat milk formula for her children after breastfeeding, she says she’s a “psycho” about reading labels, and her three children are not vaccinated.
Responding to the critics, Kristin Cavallari later wrote on Instagram, “Yep, I starve my children. Just blocked the most people I’ve ever blocked in my entire life. Happy 4th hahaha.”
I understand that Kristin has made many controversial and ill-advised choices. I am not for a minute suggesting I would ever turn to her as a parenting role model but give me a break! Kids bones show up at the weirdest moments anyway. I remember seeing my daughter’s ribcage one time and I freaked out and raced her to her doctor. I don’t think he could have rolled his eyes any wider at me.
As the article points out, Kristin is no stranger to being attacked as a parent but I can see how she might have thought this sweet little beach picture would not incur the wrath of the Mom-Shamers. There are many arguments to keep your kids off social media. People judging your every move isn’t even among them, it’s just a nasty side effect.
I will go on the record saying I really like Kristin’s sarcastic response. She could have gone on some long-winded diatribe about nutrition and shame and misinterpretation but to what end? If people are going to pick up pitchforks over that photo, they certainly weren’t going to listen to a counter argument… or reason. I am biased, however, because I think sarcasm is the correct way to respond to everything.
Photo credit: Instagram, WENN Photos and Getty Images
The thing that bugs me about the so-called “mommy wars” is moms wanting to have it both ways. It’s supposed to be the hardest, most thankless job out there; and, yet, some also see fit to judge each other’s choices CONSTANTLY. You’d think such a hard job would afford one more compassion–not to mention less time being in someone else’s business–instead of unending amounts of judgement.
But otherwise how can you feel like an Ăśber-mother-that-knows-it-better?! I mean where is the fun in this hardest, thankless Job if I can’t bitch about the next bitch, who does -everything- wrong…
Hahaha! How would one even survive?
I think a lot of this comes from how completely undervalued work associated with women is. Including unpaid primary caregiving, but also extending into criminally underpaid professions like early childhood education, housekeeping, home health care, etc. Capitalism considers these “unskilled” domestic jobs.
I believe the culture of criticizing moms arises out of this. In order to get any external validation (in the way someone with a highly paid job outside the home might every day), women take to comparing themselves to others.
In my experience, when I’ve seen the mommy wars play out, it’s typically by a certain type of mother. A certain mother who when working with them, I also realized they were a certain type of woman. It’s mostly those who thrive on gossip; someone who would find any reason to attempt to bring someone down a peg. I think motherhood is just an easy judgemental route for them because everyone does things differently.
Thank you for that.
I always liked Kristen during Laguna Beach ( although I HATE that her kids aren’t vaccinated) and I loved how she responded.
Yea, Kristen is definitely making at least one very questionable decision regarding her children – the vaccinating. But this picture doesn’t set off any alarms for me. Some kids are super-skinny for no reason. It looks like he’s playing with some toy…maybe it’s making his muscles flex in a strange way? Who is out there noticing these things and getting so upset?
I totally get her and the comments are rude!
My son is also super skinny and many people have made comments, while my teenage daughter is full figured. I know for a fact it is down to genetics with each child favoring different grandparents. Weirdly all the people that make these comments seem to want to offer my son sweets, as if stuffing him with sugar will save him. I’m no Gwenyth and I allow him some sugar, but stuffing him with it and trying to make him fat will not change his DNA!
The “Home-made goat’s milk formula” also raises alarm bells for me. There are A TON of home-made formula recipes out there and they are all WOEFULLY inadequate. Unfortunately, the Lactation-Nazi’s out there have made some women so fearful of formula that if they aren’t breastfeeding they make their own. Formula is highly regulated for a reason!!! It is not easy to get the right balance of nutrients in a form that will remain stable enough before it’s ingested. I really hope she didn’t introduce this home-made formula until after her children were at least a year old. If she did that before then, which she very well might have, her kids really could have been nutrient deficient.
I hate this new age, anti-science, “I-know-better” trend. If you aren’t breastfeeding just BUY THE DARN FORMULA, they even sell organic if that’s your thing. Don’t make your own, it’s way to risky, you cannot guarantee that you are getting all the necessary nutrients in an easily absorb-able form of that nutrient. *shudder* And not vaccinating? Well, all I can do is shake my head sadly.
It’s sad because I’ve always liked her (and I think her boys look fine!) and I don’t want to be that “judgy” mom but she’s in a position where other moms do look up to her and I really think we do need to speak out against people promoting things that are harmful. Not vaccinating and home-made formulas are absolutely harmful. Just look at all the poor babies raised on Scientology’s “formula”. Some of them will have life-long effects from having malnutrition at a critical time in development.
Yes! Yes! Yes! To everything you just said.
Signed, pine tree 13’s newest squad member.
LOL! Thanks for making me smile!
Also I love your username. Adele Dazeem memes will make me laugh FOREVER!!!!
I try hard not to judge other parents, but not vaccinating and then making their own formula? Though they’re rich enough to have their own personal nutritionist helping out, I’m guessing. But her daughter is under a year old, and still needs either breast milk or formula. I think social media has turned what used to be nosy people walking up and making snarky comments into the world being able to shoot their mouths off collectively.
I looked into the formula and Kristin worked with the children’s pediatrician to make sure the recipe included all the necessary nutrients. It seems like she did start giving them milk products before the recommended age though.
Hey La Ti Da, Just a nerd comment in regards to your post 🙂
A pediatrician is likely NOT qualified to approve a formula ‘recipe’. Formula needs to be TESTED in a lab, to make sure the correct amount of nutrients are bio-available. There was even a recent recall in the past because a certain formula company discovered a nutrient wasn’t bio-available, meaning they tested correct levels of the nutrient, but not in the form that can be easily absorbed by the body. Formula has to be a delicate balance of all needed nutrients, in their absorb-able forms, but in levels not so high that they could build up and result in over-dose in the infant. Not an easy task at all.
So unless she’s submitting each batch of her home-made formula to a lab to ensure the proper quantities of bio-available forms of each necessary nutrient, then there’s no way of knowing what the baby is actually getting. No one seems to believe it but formula you buy in the store has to pass rigorous testing standards.
If you’re using it for an older infant/tot…no problemo. But you are taking a REAL risk if you’re using home-made formula for a young infant. I also worry about those who here “Goat’s milk formula” and just give their baby’s goat’s milk….because that is a thing I know for a fact some people are doing…giving straight goat’s milk as a substitute. Yikes! Though your post is comforting because at least if the pediatrician is aware he could keep an eye out for symptoms of any deficiencies. A lot of people doing their own likely don’t even tell their doctors which is even more problematic.
I agree with your comments regarding homemade vs. bought formula. I read that Kristin had issues with the cow’s milk formula and didn’t want to use soy based because it’s GMO. She also did breastfeed, since the description says she used the formula after breastfeeding, so I’m guessing she may have exclusively breastfed for the key first 6 months. I read somewhere else that she stopped after her frozen breast milk supply ran out. So it could be totally fine (where I live, 9 months is OK to give cow’s milk).
But “lactation-nazis” . . . I feel like some context is needed here and that’s a pretty inflammatory term. Formula companies used to over-hype their products and imply that formula is better than breast milk, so now there is push back that no, ‘breast is best’. Formulas have really improved over the years, so they’re pretty decent now. But still not as good as breast milk (according to the WHO).
@Pinetree-13
Thank you for the explanation! I hadn’t even considerd those factors. To be honest I was stopped short at the thought that a Dr agreed she should feed her kids a formula of dried goats milk, maple syrup, and fish oil to even consider quality assurance issues lol.
I don’t care what she feeds her kids. I want to know if she bothered to vaccinate them yet.
Right there with you. This little one looks like one who has been walking (maybe running) for a few months but still has baby body proportions. Kids just look like this sometimes. Do people expect babies to have bulky muscles??
I’d like to knock her upside the head for not vaccinating, though. I hope the children don’t develop respiratory failure from pertussis- or get measles w/ encephalitis, deafness from mumps, liver failure or cancer from Hepatitis, paralysis or death from polio, respiratory failure and death from tetanus, heart failure from diphtheria, brain edema and death from Hib or varicella, pneumonia from any of the above viruses, not to mention influenza & pneumococcus, bacterial meningitis, etc., etc.
I’d like also to “Clockwork Orange” her and her ilk with video clips of babies and children with these infections/ conditions suffering in PICUs and EDs. She’d sing a different tune quickly.
We moved to the midwest about a dozen years ago, and though my three were fully vaccinated, one toddler picked up pertussis ( a thankfully comparatively mild case), and there were many sleepless nights watching over him while he and everyone in our house took the required antibiotics and were quarantined in our home. It was frightening, to say the least- and both Dr. Fly and myself (CCRN credentialed at the time) were health care professionals.
Her brand of ignorance makes my blood boil, because wet no only is jeopardizing her own children, but she simultaneously weakens herd immunity for those who cannot receive the vaccines. Idiot.
There was a great piece written in a blog called Rage Against the Minivan, where it basically explained the refusal to vaccinate as first world privileges. And showed the photos to prove it.
honestly, alot of folks just do not care for her and no matter what she posts, she will have trolls.
is she surprised??
everybody knows plenty of kids are picky and/or light eaters.
even folks w/o kids (such as myself, thank the gods) know this.
My son went through a super-skinny, picky eating phase. Today he’s at the 98th percentile in height and at a decent weight. Sad that people took a happy family picture and made it something ugly.
Well, what do you want? When you make a career of being a mompreneur and post pics of your kids, people judge. Shocker.
I remember going to the beach with my toddler once (we lived in Wisconsin). He looked positively emaciated next to all the little chubbies running around. I took him to the pediatrician and he just looked at me and said, “He is not too skinny. He is just right. Those babies are fat.” LOL! Looking at the picture she posted, what struck me was out out of shape Jay Cutler is. Of course the could be why is such a stellar success as a QB.
My kiddo’s ribs show all the time. She is all muscle though and eats like a pro athlete. She can throw a basketball and killer kick a soccer ball. Her agility is insane. I just can’t imagine a parent not feeding a child, even if it really healthy, but there is an amount of fat kids need to develop and maybe she missed that point.
I am of two minds about this…normally I care zero, but she feeds her family Low carb (no grains or sugar) a la goopy I think?? And she doesn’t vaccinate? Kids need carbs for their growing brains and vaccines for themselves and society. I question people who force their beliefs on their children even though it harms the kids.
I agree with you about the vaccinations, but not about the carbs.
Animal fats and proteins are ideal for growing brains and bodies and carbs are totally unnecessary.
However, from the perspective of allowing kids to enjoy being kids, I don’t believe in putting kids on a *strict* keto diet because they should be able to enjoy an ice cream or candy as a treat, which keto doesn’t allow for.
Honestly this is just another example of haters gonna hate. Some people simply enjoy knocking others down while hiding behind a computer screen. And it is a reason not to put your kids on social media. I love my son. My family has great vacations every year and there are always some super cute photos, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to expose anyone in my family to unnecessary judging, back-stabbing, jealousy-riddled jabs, etc. It wouldn’t matter if it was just a picture of us eating at a restaurant. I can guarantee if I posted a pic of it, no matter how harmless, the food choices would be dissected, drinks, attire, napkins v. no napkins, why isn’t she sitting next to her husband..uh oh!, is she wearing a bra?, who cut his hair like that? husband’s gained weight, she needs to color her roots! And that’s just what goes on in peoples’ minds that they don’t even write. Nope. My business and nobody else’s to pick apart because that is what a lot of bored, unhappy women do – judge happy non-bored women…..all for attention…all out of jealousy. I say get a life and stay out of mine.
Ditto. Thus my absence from social media. If people want to criticize my kids and my family, they must do it to my face. And face the wrath.
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. How do you know that is what is going through people’s minds if they don’t even write it unless its what you think when you see similar photos posted by others?
DingDingDingDingDing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good thing I’m not a celebrity mom, my boys are WAY skinnier than hers. And no, they are not starving or on some special diet.
I hate this crap. I get comments about my daughter being thin and it really bothers me. She’s just naturally a thin kid, my husband and I are both small. Her doctor is fine with her size so everyone else needs to stop judging.
NotSoSocialButterfly is absolutely right. Kristen is dead wrong on the vaccination issue. It is a public health issue that affects not just your own children, but other people’s children as well. That’s why the public has a right to weigh in on this (as well as other public health issues like gun violence). About the thin-shaming, I don’t know. She should just stop posting pics of her kids altogether.
Not a fan of hers (esp re vaccination) but love her response. Take that mommy trolls!
Let’s be honest – chubby kids are so relevant these days that whenever someone sees a kid that is actually at a healthy size, they’re considered “too skinny”.
She’s an idiot for not vaccinating her children.
How you know your entire country is too fat? You cannot recognise healthy, normal bodies anymore.
I have issues with the vaccinations, but the kids look fine. They look well nourished and healthy. Elderspawn was a thin child – he’s now a healthy looking teen.
Her kids look just as skinny as mine. I never thought twice about this picture. Kids are energy balls, they burn it all off. They are not suppose to have excess fat on them.