Did you guys realize that Scarlett Johansson has been with Romain Dauriac for four years? I had forgotten that they’d been together that long. The first rumblings of their coupledom came in fall 2012, and many of us (myself included) thought this Frenchman was just going to be a phase for ScarJo, that it would last for a few months and she would be on to the next one. But she got pregnant, and they got married and they spend at least half their time in France now. Star Magazine claimed last year that Scarlett was having big adjustment issues in France, that she was “homesick and miserable” in Paris. I feel like we’re always hearing about her being in New York too – does she even stay in Paris for any length of time these days? Well, Star has another story about how Scarlett still loathes Paris, and how her marriage is falling apart.
Paris is called the City of Love for a couple of reasons, but Scarlett Johansson’s marriage to French journalist Romain Dauriac is not one of them. Friends say the actress, 31, has struggled to adjust to life overseas, and when she suggested returning to the US, her husband flat-out refused.
“Scarlett’s never truly felt at home in Paris. Even after all this time, she still can’t speak French,” dishes a source close to Scarlett, who complained about how “terribly rude” Parisians are on national TV!
“Scarlett’s miserable over there. She wishes they were living in LA, but Romain hates Hollywood and everything it stands for. Honestly, if she didn’t have their daughter, Rose, to think about, I think Scarlett would’ve walked out of Romain months ago.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
I wonder if Scarlett just has no French skills whatsoever, or if she’s tried to learn French and it just hasn’t stuck. I would imagine it’s easier to learn French if you’re immersed in Parisian life, but it sounds like Scarlett is ready to just call it a day and be done with the whole business of being married to a Frenchman anyway. ScarJo’s relationship with Romain always struck me as a particular kind of romantic fantasy, the kind you dream about when you’re 14: “One day, I’ll meet an interesting French guy and run off to Paris and it will be so chic and amazing!” And then the reality is that you can’t communicate with anyone and the French guy doesn’t have a job and you just miss watching Live With Kelly Ripa.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
My daughter lives in Paris, but she also majored in French in college. She has a job, and she’s fluent, and she loves it. And so many people there speak English, and there are a ton of expats,
You can totally live in Paris if you only speak English
Yes, but it sucks living in Paris with a husband that ignores your needs and is dead set on not moving.
He married a foreigner, so did she, they must both be willing to compromise. IF this story is true.
What is evident is that she did move to Paris so she compromised but I doubt ScarJo has been in Paris lately.
Just this year she missed so many promotional tours because she was in New Zealand filming.
Exactly. As long as you have the basics of “hello”, “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” in the language of the country in which you live, you’ll be fine. That being said, Parisians appreciate the effort and will gladly switch to English, once they hear the accent.
If this report is true, I don’t think Scarlet’s put in the effort.
Question: is her husband really unemployed?
But if the agreed on living in Paris and she changed her mind than that’s not fair to him either. What does he do? Does he have to live in Paris for his job? Because she can live pretty much anywhere.
@ MsGoblin
He used to be an art critic and editor, and now he’s running an ad agency that focuses on promoting artists and galleries. He isn’t unemployed, he just isn’t famous, and his job is specifically focused on the behind the scenes part of the art world, so he has no visibility with the American public.
@ MsGoblin. Well I certainly wouldn’t want to live any length of time in a country with only those basics.
I lived in Paris and worked there for 4 years and I loathed it. I found most people to be rude and really cranky. I speak french, not fluently but conversationally enough to get by, but man it was hard. Paris is a hard city. Now other parts of France are lovely and people are less judgmental and kind ( particularly in the north & south) either way, I could see her wanting to bolt. That city has a way of eating your soul…
I think it is better and more respectful to speak the language of the country you live in.
I’ve lived in Paris for over two years. I can’t speak French. It’s not only possible to live here and not speak French, it’s made super easy too. French people will always moan that you don’t speak French but they’ll always switch to English when they catch the slightest hint of an accent. Partially it’s my fault, partially it’s theirs. All of my boyfriends speak English. I’m paid to speak English, it’s almost impossible to learn. And French companies will hire English speakers because they want not only the native English skill but also because they want to adapt to the Anglo markets. It’s funny how much is dependent on the French knowing English. In fact to get a good job (at least in Paris) you must be certified to speak english.
@MsGoblin – This was not my experience AT ALL. I have very basic french from my years at Secondary School, and people were rude. They would downright refuse to speak in English and definitely did not appreciate my efforts with my broken French.
I have only been to Paris, so of course my experience was with Parisians only, but I never had a good experience, especially with those in the service/hotel sector, and I speak 3 languages. I was always glad when the waiter/waitress was an inmigrant.
I lived in Paris for a few months while visiting family (and working on my French). I found the people to be nice enough, for the most part, especially when I insisted on practicing my French rather than switching to English with them. It could be that my grumpy temperament aligned well with that of Paris, but more likely that the rude thing is just a stereotype.
I think Scarlett might be having a harder time because so much of the rest of her life doesn’t involve being required to do things she doesn’t want to do. When it’s easy to pick up and go when circumstances get challenging, you miss opportunities for growth. Unless she’s completely crap at languages, it doesn’t make sense that 4 years into this she still speaks no French at all.
I’m a New Yorker, and I just came back from Paris. If you can live in one city, you can live in the other. They are not that different.
And second to Yup – if you live in a city for four years and can’t speak any of the language, then that’s kind of on ScarJo.
I’ve lived in Paris and found parisians to be lovely. If you meet a handful of rude people and thus declare everyone rude you’re an idiot. Put yourself in the shoes of the rude – thousands of ignorant tourists streaming through your city every day who have the audacity to expect you to speak their language. And don’t say it doesn’t happen – I’ve cringed countless times at the Americans at the next table slowly and loudly proclaiming “Eeeenglish???”. Both can be rude.
Hubby & I have been to Paris 5 times & we have never had anyone be rude to us. I speak fluent French but hubby barely does – but tries with much verve and self-deprecation – which always goes over well. Last time we returned the manager of our favourite watering hole bellowed “ah! C’est mes amis Canadiens!” and bought us a round. We hadn’t been there for a year – so I was pleasantly surprised. I actually found Parisians to be very polite – and they valued good manners – which a lot of tourists unfortunately don’t have. I agree with Sarah on that.
Or… Seeing her self-demanding nature in her filming of movies, she feels she can’t speak French on the level she feels she should.
Perhaps tackling the America Student level of French, but not the self-imposed ScarJo level of French.
Douche. He’s a douche who resents your success. Get out. Get OUT, girl.
how do you know?
lots of women believe its always the mens fault and that all men tremble in fear when a women has success.
thats why its the go to story when a famous woman breaks up with her less succesful man.
And you know this how?
He does give me the douch vibes too. Also if it is true that he resents everything about Hollywood than she really needs to get out. I mean how can you be in a healthy partnership with someone who resents what you do? She is apart of one of the biggest and more successful Hollywood productions with Marvel.
I can also relate to feeling alone in a foreign land if you do not speak the language. I traveled a lot for my previous job and in general for us folks living in the EU, travelling across all the EU countries is pretty much like going to another city, easy and fast. And while I love the diversity of cultures and history, I must admit that in all my adult years of travelling I never felt more at home in any of the Eurpean counties thsn I did in US because english is the only language I am fluent in apart from my native tongue. There is something special being able to understand the people around you at all times, being able to read signs and communicate freely. And it’s the country built by imigrants. Despite all the current political circus I felt the most welcomed there. Even in the UK they always look at you as an outsider. So yeah, it is romantic idea to think of one self living in Paris and I had some really fun and happy memories from there I would never move to live there.
There were blind items that seem to fit them. Yeah, I get the douche vibe, too.
I mean, you just look at their body language. Not good.
One of my cousins lives in the same aera than her home at Paris and he says that she didn’t come since many months (almost 2 years )
She had some problems with her neighbors(AND the paps also)
She has an enough bad reputation there
Oh love insider gossip, thanks 😊
What about her husband? Was he spotted there lately?
Paris is such a big city… Since she’s been traveling a lot I doubt your cousin knows for sure when she’s in Paris and when she’s not. These are pure speculations.
Pure speculation?? They just lived in the same street and he often saw her in the aera until some months ago
She lived above a restaurant and she had some problems with the owner because of the noise .
Some months ago = 2 years? The same area = the same street? OK… Good to know these details! But I have to say I don’t really keep and eye on the neighbours that live on the same street as I do, nor do I think my neighbours know all my whereabouts. Maybe she’s just a discreet presence. 😀
I used to have an associate that was friends with her husband and her take was that she was kind of vapid and disinterested even when they would try to engage her. Either way, I believe she hates it and wants to go.. It completely relate to ex-pats struggling in that city and I couldn’t wait to leave. Most of my friends that were born and raised in Paris hated it and most have relocated.. hard hard city that one.. a hard hard city..
This so reminds me of an episode of Sex in the City with SJP’s character moves to Paris with Baryshnikov’s character and is miserable.
Jane, I too went to the SITC episodes.
I thought of Carrie too!
Yep! Then she steps in the dog poo in those gorgeous white shoes and everyone laughs at her
Me, too! I was living in a new place (state, not country) when I saw it, and it made me cry.
It’s now Sex and the City due to the Mandela Effect.
It’s always been Sex and the City. Candace Bushnell, the writer of the original articles on which the show was based, has explained the meaning of her title before…these are the two main themes/loves of Carrie’s life: sex and the city (aka NYC).
I hope that isn’t true. A parent separated from their child by an ocean is a really sad thing.
If the photos are to be believed, ScarJo has had her kid with her in New Zealand while filming this year. I’m sure like any parent that has to travel a lot, there are periods of separation, but she seems to be with her kid a lot.
Maybe Jellybean meant the child’s father.
maybe because being an immigrant i had to learn english from scratch when i was 11, but is it really that hard to learn another language? it’s just effort.
i like that scarjo is low profile with all of her relationships btw, i always like actors more when they don’t twiddleswift their private life.
I lived overseas until I was 15 (my dad was a foreign service officer) and it is much, much easier to learn a language when you are younger. At least that has been my experience. I learned Mandarin with a little bit of effort when I was a kid, but today I’m struggling to learn Spanish.
Not to say that your learning English wasn’t hard or that you shouldn’t be proud, but in ScarJos defense, I’ve read research that if you learn another language before (around) puberty, for some reason the brain picks it up much easier.
That being said- she has the resources for a private tutor, she lives there so she’s immersed. To me there is no excuse for her not being at least passable in French.
She is not seventy, she’s still young and can learn a foreign language easily. To have another language is to possess another soul. I am sure Parisians do not demand of her to use the subjunctive properly. She must oppose strenuous resistance to learning the language, considering that she lives in a place where TV programmes are in French, people in markets and in shops speak French, etc. I might be prejudiced but she might be kind of obnoxious indeed. I remember photos of her and her husband in Istanbul being surrounded by paparazzi and her husband trying to ‘protect’ her by covering her up top-to-toe with a shawl and giving them the finger. My god. Turkish paparazzi do not get the chance of photographing Scarlett Johansson every day. Be gracious, smile, don’t hide. They were doing their job. Dumb ass. Both of them actually.
It tends to be harder for people to learn another language as adults, and frankly some people don’t have the knack for it that makes it easier. Though it should definitely be easier if you are immersed in the language, but if you are depressed or culture shocked, you might not even put in the effort. I’m guessing that’s what’s going on with Scarjo.
That’s what I was thinking too. I lived in Scandinavia for 4 years and took language classes for 2 years. I learned a good chunk but not as much as I should have, and it basically boiled down to the fact that I was low-key miserable and not committed to living there long-term. I wouldn’t be surprised if ScarJo has one foot out the door, especially since she’s been spending a lot of time in New York etc. Not a fan but I feel for her in this case.
I love the “twiddleswift” as a verb.
It is much harder when you are an adult. Children are human sponges, they absorb everything and have the ability to learn very quickly. They pick up a new language much more easily than adults. The earlier you start, the better it is.
Facts aside, it all comes to willpower and circumstances. If she feels uncomfortable and unhappy in her marriage, she probably isn’t motivated to learn and speak the language. I guess it’s an instinctive reaction. Your brain closes up to things you are not willing to learn.
I’m bilingual, French is my first language. English is much easier to learn than French. I’m so glad I learnt French as a kid, I would have had a much harder time as an adult.
“I’m bilingual, French is my first language. English is much easier to learn than French. I’m so glad I learnt French as a kid, I would have had a much harder time as an adult. ”
I think it depends on your first language. My first language is Russian (I am too grateful not having to learn it from scratch, it is very hard ). Learning Roman languages was a breeze, it was like remembering something I knew but forgot. I think Spanish is the easiest language to learn, and if you know Spanish then learning Italian and French is super easy.
I struggled with English for years, it was too foreign for me.
Tais, I agree. English is much easier than French and I learned French (and Russian) as a kid in Poland (Polish being my native tongue), way before I had a chance to study English in the US as an adult. I can’t imagine living for so long in Paris and not speaking the language though! She must be subconsciously rejecting it or something, she’s still young and it’s such a beautiful language (not to mention her daughter is half-French, so no matter what happens between Scarlett and her hubby, she’ll always have a connection to France). Italian is also very easy, especially pronounciation but I haven’t had the time to learn it properly. Another thing though: if you don’t use it, you lose it.. I used to be fluent, really fluent in Russian as a kid as the language was required from grade 5 until high school graduation, but I hated it so much, I flatly refused to speak it past high school. Too bad! Now it’s a bit of a struggle, after so many years. But my true love is French – I dream of buying a summer house in France, just to be able to immerse myself in French culture and language again (I studied for a year at Sciences Po, many, many years ago.. it was fantastic! ). Scarlett is probably unhappy and her problems are probably not with the language per se.
Speaking from experience, it’s definitely possible to pick up passable fluency in a new language as an adult, even if you’ll always have an accent.
CAVEAT: this only seems to work if that person was bilingual to begin with – something about the brain already being used to different vowel/consonant systems and sounds. I don’t think that’s the case for Scarjo. And if she hasn’t been in France much thanks to work, she’s obviously not going to pick up any French.
I think it’s easier for some than for others. My hearing is fine, and I can understand other Aussies perfectly well, but – if I’m watching English or American TV – I have to put the subtitles on or I miss things. I’d be absolutely terrible at learning a different language.
I remember sitting through a child development class and this subject came up. Someone please feel free to correct me on the terms I’m about to use if I’m getting them wrong (although the concept is sound). Apparently, there are certain phonemes babies and young children can hear that after a certain point in development we are no longer able to hear, which makes learning a new language incredibly difficult. I was very fortunate I spent a great chunk of time living in Peru in my late teens and my Spanish went from 0-60. But after several years of not needing it, I’m struggling like hell to try and get it back. That said, I had a dear friend who, as a child, was a military brat and grew up in Russia where she went to a French school. By age 10 she knew English, French, Russian, Spanish and was learning Mandarin. It’s not impossible for an adult, but research has shown time and time again that A) children learn languages with much more ease than adults and B) once you know more than one language your brain has less difficulty learning more.
It’s not a matter of hearing but of pronouncing them. Before the age of 10, our vocal cords are capable of reproducing any sound. Then, the vocal cords become “modelled” to pronounce only the phonemes in the languages you’ve learnt up till that age. If you’ve only learnt English, then you might have a problem, since it’s a language with less phonemes than say, Portuguese or Russian. The more phonemes your mother tongue has, the easier it is for you. Then, you also struggle with the familiarity of the foreign language. I’m Portuguese, so for me, learning any latin-based language, is extremely easy (Italian, Spanish, French), and English and German were also easy because, thank God, Portuguese television doesn’t dub the movies, so I used to listen to English every day, German is similar to English, which made it easy.. It’s funny when I read English native speakers saying they need to use subtitles in English and I don’t because of the habit of listening to British, American, Australian, Scottish English on television..
Sorry, I meant moulded, not modelled..
I studied French in high school and college. It is rusty now, but I think if I were living in a French speaking country it would come back to me.
Lol twiddleswift
I took Spanish all through grade school and I could never speak it. It was always the hardest class for me and I would dread it every day. It just doesn’t click in my brain. I would love to speak one or two other languages but it’s not in the cards. Coding is a piece of cake for me, languages, not so much.
Think of Joey Tribiani speaking French, that would be me.
I’d say effort is the most important factor.
Yeah, there are people who have a harder time learning languages. And yes, it is a lot easier to learn a foreign language when you’re young. But generally speaking, if you’re willing to invest some time and if you have the financial means to afford classes/a tutor, it would take most people a couple of months or a year to reach B1 or B2 (CEFR).
And for native speakers of English, French is one of the easier languages to learn.
this is what i meant. maybe i’m not the best example because i was quite young (although i did have to put in lots of effort and work at it, it didn’t just happen) however i have friends and colleagues who learnt english as a second language as adults, and have half the resources scarjo has. so yeah, i do think it’s mostly effort.
When I got married my husband and I move to another city and I had to learn French from level 1 (English is my second language), I was 27 and believe me it is very very hard. I felt immensely isolated, not being able to purchase anything or communicate and I had a huge mental barrier when trying to learn the language.
It definitely took a toll on my marriage the first years, specially because it was my husband’s mother tongue and his family doesn’t speak any other language, so in order to survive and communicate with them I was attending french classes with other immigrants like me. For my husband, learning my mother tongue was easy but because he has a natural ability to pick up languages and accents, but not for me.
After 3 years there I managed to have a decent level and we’ve moved to another city where English is the primary language. Fortunately, I still practice and keep my French level, except for writing that I was always bat at, and I hope not to lose it. But I can totally relate to Scarlett’s isolation and frustration.
@tyrantdestroyed I just started living in France with my husband (he’s French) and I’m having a similar experience to yours (I’m an English speaker). I have a very hard time with verbal processing and it’s almost impossible for me to pick up a language by ear or be able to understand dialogue, although I have a decent level with reading and writing. I’m doing ok with a lot of work, but it doesn’t help that EVERYONE speaks English and will immediately switch languages when they detect your accent. And then you’re still on the outside of all the French native speakers when they make plans or joke around hence the isolation. Also when you travel a lot (as I imagine Scarlett does) it’s difficult to create continuity with your language learning program and that creates frustration.
maybe they should’ve got to know each other a little better before baby and marriage. Why would she want to be with someone who hates Hollywood and everything it stands for? Marriage is about compromise, if he’s not willing to than how will it work.
She was with with him a couple years before they had a kid. That’s plenty of time to figure out if you’re compatible. She was already leaving LA as her home base around the time she hooked up with him (my boss’s house is in her old neighborhood in LA and there was local gossip about her moving out), so the fact that he wasn’t part of and didn’t want to be part of that LA scene is probably what attracted her in the first place. She’d already had a marriage with a fellow actor crash and burn.
I kind of feel like she has every tool at her disposal to learn French if she really wants to. But she clearly doesn’t want to that badly.
Or maybe she’s just too stupid? lol
The guy who “hates Hollywood and everything it stands for” and went on to marry and have a child with a Hollywood actresses is a genius though, right?
Some people really struggle with learning a new language. Also she works pretty consistently and is a newish mom, it’s not like she has all the time in the world to learn a new language while trying to memorize scripts.
And French isn’t easy.
I’m not saying that French is easy ( I find it confusing myself, but to be fair, I’ve no reason to learn it) or that she shouldn’t struggle (if that’s the issue) but her paychecks can afford her any number of tutors. She even has a spouse that she can practice with. Plus, if she can memorize lines for a film she can memorize a and handful of phrases. And aren’t the French notorious for just wanting you to make an effort before switching to English for your benefit?
I just don’t feel like she wants to be there at all, and language thing is a good reason for her, valid or not.
Melly is right here about languages being hard for some people. I will respectfully disagree with Taisa, though, French is a relatively easy language for English speakers to learn compared to many other languages such as Chinese, Arabic, Thai, Russian, or even German. Pronunciation is tough, but that’s it.
she is supposed to be good with those things. she is an actress and you can expect them to learn different languages and do different accents.
I have seen some of her interviews and she struggles with her own language. I seldom understand what she means. She might be a successful actress (only of late, though) but she ain’t very bright. Boring.
Goes to show, you cannot believe the romanticism of some cities. The reality really can disappoint you.
She definitely married down.
Huh? Isn’t he a well known French journalist? How did she “marry down?”
of course but there really wasnt an up for her anyway.
the previous jerk cheated on her and married his mistress. feel bad for Scar Jo, always liked her. She can act and she is not dumbo.
You know for sure, don’t you?
@Lou
Didn’t you get the memo? It’s all Ryan’s fault. sarc off/
Never mind the stories of a still married ScarJo and Axl Rose doing the rounds back then.
Or that she proceeded to move in with Sean Penn, before divorce papers were actually filed.
You see either game can be played, when it comes to rumors like these.
Ryan was filming with Blake. Fact. While he was married. Fact. Later he married Blake. Fact. Are you telling me that nothing happened while they were filming cos they waited for Scar Jo to cheat? You do not even need to use your imagination with this one.
As for Rose, it is not even a gossip. It is nothing. Why cannot it be his fault?
ScarJo moved in with Penn before divorcing Ryan. Fact
She was seen on consecutive nights with Rose and was reported as such while still very married. Fact
As to your last question, you only insist it’s nothing to make it all Ryan’s fault. Seems you can use imagination for some but not for others.
they were already separated when she started seeing Sean Penn. Green Lantern
was filmed in mid 2010, she started seeing Penn in 2011. She is no saint, but then again RR started messing around first, based on the timeline.
And they were not separated when she was often seen around with Axl Rose. Not even divorced when she moved in with Penn.
Based on that timeline I could also say ScarJo was messing around first.
Mila, are you talking about the woman who said that monogamy was unnatural?
I will recommend to everybody thinking of moving countries to be with your partner to read the Hausfrau by Jill Alexander Essbaum. It is not an easy decision and it is hard work to move and adjust in a country that you do not speak the language even if the majority speaks English there. I had a hard time to make that decision and have been to language classes and studying a lot. After 8 months now I still do not understand everything but I am more confident because I can read for example the labels at the products and communicate without switching to English all the time. It is doable but hard work and requires a lot of support from your spouse too.
God, that was a depressing book. Certainly curtailed any romantic visions of marrying a foreign partner ! I really liked the ending though, a very subtle way of pointing out what happened..
Yeah. It was depressing. I liked it though. There are lots of great and interesting things having a relationship with a foreigner but you need to be realistic too and have a plan on building your life and make ties in a new country.
Never experienced it but the idea of being married in a foreign country sounds good to me specifically because of the isolation.
But I think it depends greatly on the partner. If I trust him and he seems flexible, it’s fine and we are moving wherever he wants, but if I am offered an ultimatum like ‘move to France or we are done’ or ‘move to France because your country is shit’ then we are done.
I am not very attached to my roots but the culture you are raised in always leaves an imprint on you, so a man that would be put off by the place I grew up in would end up being put off by me eventually. At least IMO.
28 years ago I married to someone from a completely different culture and language – for the first 20 years we lived in his country and raised the kids there and 8 years ago we moved to my country (I was terribly homesick). When I first moved there, I immediately learned English (we met in France and communicated in French) and got a college/grad school degrees very quickly but he still struggles and doesn’t really want to speak my langage. Why should he? Everyone around him speaks English! I speaking the local language is not necessary, few people will learn it.
I dated a Frenchman. For 2 years, and then we broke up. I can say from experience that when you’re in the beginning and in the throes of it all, you’re so charmed and in love and when they say things about America or how her husband said the Hollywood scene things, you instantly admire how unusual and different he is. But his distaste for the drama of Hollywood eventually turned sour to her instead of sophisticated because she is a part of Hollywood. The French are extraordinarily stubborn, which is why he required she move with him, and when I was in love with my ex I would have moved to Paris just like Scarlett because in the moment it’s so ROMANTIC and CHIC and the DREAM but then when you’re there oh it’s so lonely and all of a sudden his snobby ways aren’t endearing and amusing anymore, they’re actually quite mean. Americans and French people are polar opposites in the worst way because tje cultures are more different than most can even imagine. I feel so bad for Scarlett because I know the position she’s in.
Because we French people are ALL THE SAME : snobby, mean and stubborn… Right…
I don’t think that’s what she meant.
People form opinions according to their own experiences. Sadly, a country that creates beautiful memories for some, creates bad memories for others, all due to the fact of different experiences.
This was a comment made from a very personal POV and we should take it as such.
You said it, LadyAnne…No, I’m joking. The French can seem unendingly stubborn – I spent most summers growing up with cousins in Brittany. The language and their behavior made it a lesson in patience and humility. When I grew up, I realized that their stubbornness and sometimes snobby behavior was really just the Gallic pride most French have in their country, culture and themselves.
And I don’t think Ivy wasn’t suggesting what you think.
Love from one lady to another!
Yes, exactly LadyLoo and als! I’m just speaking from my personal experience. Of course I would never generalize the population of an entire country!! When I say stubborn I don’t necessarily mean it in a bad way, pretty much the way LadyLoo put it—they’re a proud people and extremely loyal to their country and sometimes that creates friction with other cultures and comes off as snobbish. Not necessarily a bad thing, simply an observation. However, I think the younger generation (X and Y) of Parisians are much more open-minded than the Baby Boomers and older.
@LadyLoo – I thought the “stubborn” thing is a trait/stereotype particular to Bretons, though?
I too had a similar experience and can relate and yes @LadyAnne this is a personal viewpoint of one persons experience. It doesn’t mean all French people are like that. When I was living there it was widely know those from Paris can be difficult folk, most french people in other parts of that beautiful country would agree with that assessment. It’s not all but it’s an attitude and a culture that is unique to people from that city, at least in my experience.
I agree that Parisians are generally (gross generalization here) less “nice” than people in other parts of France there but the same goes for New York and the rest of the US. Americans are generally much friendlier and nicer to strangers as they’re used to them (everyone is constantly moving) while in Paris people stay put and cultivate their own “cercle”. I can live with it. And I love brassy, noisy, sometimes rude and cantankerous but always fun New Yorkers 🙂
I just think it’s most likely very hard for Scarlett because of the new environment and different culture, and it’s not easy to try and learn a new language when you don’t feel comfortable in the environment.
I think it more depends what circles you run in. I think if I was travelling in rarified art circles in Paris or in Manhattan, the effect would be pretty much the same, and I would be considered a hick despite being well-spoken and well-educated in other domains.
I had a lovely month in Paris years ago, but I spoke the language a bit (my grammar and vocabulary wasn’t great, but I have a good ear for accents, so I sound so charming that I’m usually forgiven my errors). And I was staying with French friends, so I was something of a known quantity when I was introduced to people.
What was interesting for me was to observe my friend’s family. Her dad was from a middle- to upper-middle class academic family and her mom was from a working class family that had done well financially after World War II. Both sides of her family were very welcoming to me. But it was interesting to see the kinds of questions that I got which would indicate where in the hierarchy I belonged back in the US. I got much more of a sense of everyone needing to have a “defined” identity than I do in the US or some other parts of Europe that I’ve lived and traveled.
No Ivy is correct. I’ve dated I don’t know… 100… 200 Frenchguys, it’s funny you’re always taught don’t make generalizations but after dating such a huge pool of Frenchmen there are many, many things that can be generalized because no matter what part of France he’s raised in, if one of his parents is t French, if he went to an international school, whatever, French seeps from his soul and they are always the same deep, deep down. Frenchmen are the worst. And I continue to have to date them because I live here but there are so many ways; some big, some small but in every way they are like aliens. We might as well be from differ et planets. You won’t even get that kind of a difference from other European nations. Spanish men, Italian men, other Anglos, their ways make sense but Frenchmen? Pfft might as well come from Mars. I despair for any American girl that dates one. In fact I’ve known so many that went running back to their exes because they were so shocked by Frenchmen.
They suffered from anaFRENCHmatic shock maybe?
I dated a French guy for 2 years and it was very similar. Lots of aspects I loved, the food, rhythm, beauty of the countryside, the hour de vivre, the romance. But, he would never have moved to the U.S. And looking back it was because he was too insecure masked by French macho. The French seemed to love humiliating Americans including me at parties- they acted like they were being witty and teasing, but on top of all the other cultural differences I was often left in tears. In the end I broke it off because being an immigrant if you aren’t forced to it can be an extremely lonely life. I really feel for Scarlet, marrying out of your culture can work, but that doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly difficult.
I also used to date a French man… and have had French roomies. We now call their way of being insulting a “French compliment” in my house. Because they are all joking and laughing and then WHAM – you realize they’ve just called you fat, or worse…
“The French seemed to love humiliating Americans including me at parties- they acted like they were being witty and teasing” >>>> I’ve experienced this. It’s the worst. Say what you will about Americans, but we can at least be welcoming (for the most part).
Also – I’ve heard there is a regional difference among the French (much like every country). It’s particularly the Parisians that can be a bear, even to other French individuals.
This Canadian also agrees, it’s nice to see others that have had the same experiences.
It is Parisians in particular that give the French a bad rep…
I would get a lot , “Well it could be worse you could be America, and at least you don’t have a Quebec accent,.. etc etc..”
Siiigghh
My ex’s father came from a long line of Parisians, and when I would visit with his parents his father would barely speak to me because he flat out refused to learn English. His mother was kind to me because both of us are Swedish (I grew up in the states though) but his father had a tendency to mutter things under his breath that would anger my ex.
I also studied in Barcelona at an international language immersion program, and I had endless problems with the Parisian girls. The ones from the west coast of France were super nice, but my god the others….
YES. YES YES GG. EXACTLY. There are so many things that enchant you about them but when it comes to the long-term, like marriage and where to live and children and how to raise them, it’s completely different.
I was an expat wife in Paris for two years. I’m English, and studied french at school so had the VERY basics. 100 hours of private tuition helped, but the culture difference was way harder to adapt to than the language difficulties. Of the people I met, Americans had the hardest time adapting to the food and culture. I have lived all over the world, and am now an American, but those two years were the hardest but the most fun of all our travels. I can’t see Scarjo having too hard a time to be honest, but living as a local is very different to a couple of nights in the George V!
If he really doesn’t have a job he needs to move where her work is.
I think it is the cultural differences that are extremely hard not the language itself. You have to learn the language, then the history, then the poetry, then the art, then the wine, the cuisine. Only then you’ll be accepted, maybe ..
What I don’t get is why would someone try to fit in?
I mean, of course you have to know some of the basics but let’s not kid ourselves, an expat stays and expat and it would be more charming if she brought and kept the elements of her own culture.
An American will never magically become a French, the idea is to cooperate, that is if people are willing to make a little effort and to accept you just as you are.
I don’t think it works like that in practice. I lived in several countries and in every single one I chose to learn their culture and fit in. Even though in places like Germany and UK you can do everything and be indistinguishable from them and you’ll still remain an outsider.
Being an outsider and not accepted as “one of their own” is very hard physiologically. As the saying goes “no man is an island”.
I’m cracking up at everyone saying how mean the French are. Never go to the UK, Ireland, Spain, Canada, Australia…you’ll long for the treatment you got from the French.
If you’re American, people in other countries are going to be hostile to you. That is a fact. The degree of hostility will depend on the country (and for what it’s worth, I’ve been to around 70 countries and have always found France to be one of the LEAST hostile, in general).
@ Starkiller,
hey now.. I am Canadian and most people I know are super super nice to those not from the country, maybe it’s because most of my friends are first generation like myself, but either way.. do not say we treat folk as poorly as Parisians.. because that’s not true..
And I don’t know any Canadians that go out of their way to insult or demean Americans. I mean hell most people think we are an extensions of the US anyways so why would we be rude..
Again this is me speaking from my west coast enclave. so maybe people in the Prairies are jerks, who knows..
Starkiller, I’m Irish, and we have a reputation for being fairly easy going, not the other way round. I lived in Spain for years and thought the people were lovely, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
Mind you I’ve been to NYC a number of times and found it to be delightful.
I agree with GG. It is not only the language but the friends you make, how are you accepted and integrated, how your family helps you with the transition, and language is a big part of integrating. I feel sorry for whomever is homesick. I have been for a while and it is quite horrible.
The environment you settle in also counts. The months I spend in Paris were awesome, but I was in an academic environment with lots of other international students and I already spoke a bit of French. But I supposed is was difficult for her to be thrown into French culture from one moment to another and to move in the snobby circles.
Thanks!! And I spoke French fluently! But there is tons of slang and I didn’t quite get all of it…
she has became much better actress.
I seem to remember her talking about learning French in an interview during the press tour for Captain America 2. I think they might have even been in France at the time, and she said something to a French journalist, like, “I’ve got the basics but everyone speaks so fast it’s hard to keep up.” It’s one thing to *learn* a language, but gaining fluency is harder. And it’s not like she’s in Paris year-round, and fully immersed in the language. She’s spending at least half her year elsewhere working. So I can see how it could be frustrating, because just as you’d be making the adjustment to “thinking” in French, you’re off again somewhere else and you lose whatever fluency you’ve gained.
If this report is true, I wonder if they could compromise on London. Easier on her, but still embedded in the European art scene for him.
Yeah, I think the speed with which French is spoken is probably what makes it hard to pick up.
I’ve been trying to learn French for years, but the speed is what stumps me.
Also, when I’ve visited places like Montreal everyone switches to English once they realize I’m not fluent, and then it gets harder to practice.
Since she lives in Paris, I figure it must be easier to immerse herself in the language, but maybe everybody switches to English half-way through the conversation (most likely out of kindness, not rudeness) and she doesn’t get the chance to practice
I don’t think it can be overstated that she isn’t in France year-round. To really be immersed and get good at a language, you need a long(ish) period of exposure. Since moving to France, she’s spent at least half her time not in France, so she isn’t getting consistent exposure.
Fair enough. I just think that even if she lived there I can believe English probably gets spoken to her.
Probably that, too. I just think it’s really judgmental to assume she isn’t trying hard enough.
I wasn’t judging her though. I pretty much stated that French is a difficult language to learn (I haven’t mastered it despite trying) and that most of the time people usually flip back to English even when you’re living in a place where immersion (which Paris most definitely offers) opens up the possibility of being able to practice. Anytime I’ve tried to practice French with a French person they just flip to English to make things easier for me. Maybe even her husband does the same. Simply saying that living in Paris opens up a certain possibility of ease in learning the French language that a regular classroom doesn’t isn’t a judgment though — that’s just a hard fact (why else do immersion programs of living in a country and learning the language while staying there exist?). I’m sure anyone would say that living in a place where the language is spoken as the official language offers tools that no other classroom can offer. But as I said, I suspect everybody speaks to her in English, and the ability to practice gets lost because of that. I don’t see where judgement could be read into my statement.
edit.
I wonder if her and Natalie P are BFFs and they hang out in Paris.
😀
I feel like if she wanted to learn French, she could. Isn’t a gigantic component of her job memorizing things? I just don’t really think she’s motivated enough to learn.
Poor thing.
Americans romanticize Paris way too much. It is a city like any other. Sure, the museums are great, the architecture is beautiful, and yes the food is amazing. But living there is like living anywhere else. When Americans realize this, it takes away the idealized glamour and the grandeur they envisioned. I live in NYC and I find Paris to be similar in terms of vibe and personality. It can be a lonely place and hard to break into.
And I speak French fluently, have been able to since I was born and I have traveled extensively in France, not just Paris (born and raised in the States). My father is French and he is not at all like the men some posters have described. He embraced American life and is not a snob (also a US citizen!). Proud to be French of course.A lot of Americans also find it hard to accept criticism of their country so they feel “attacked.” French people love to debate, I have often been on the receiving end of it from French relatives. It can be exhausting but it’s part of French culture.
Wow, you must be quite a prodigy to have been able to speak French since you were born!
I see that some say it is easy or difficult to learn languages, but it wholly depends on the person. I have lived overseas in both Japan and Germany for 14 years but languages are the bane of my existence. I have the rudiments of 5 languages outside of English rolling around in my head, but it still not sufficient to make living outside your country totally comfortable. When I visit stateside I nearly weep going into bookstores; being able to understand everything around you (speech, food labels, directions, products, etc.) is not something I will ever take for granted again.
That being said, I have to say the app WordLens is awesome for signs.
This is how I feel when I visit back home )). It is not only understanding the language, But to also be able pick up on subtle signs in facial expressions and the body language and various obscure references.
I suddenly realize how much stress I carry just because of that – not always being able to understand the non-verbal signs of people.
It is like in the show Sherlock with Bendy – in my home country I can pick up on many of those details like Sherlock does, and I know exactly what people think/ want/ going to do.
Then I go back to the US and I am completely clueless again.
she complained they were rude on TV??
I know we’re not suppose to judge an entire relationship on a few photos and I’m sure the photos used up top were chosen because they do give off the vibe that he doesn’t seem into her. I looked for other pics on Lainey and such, same thing….dude seems crotchety and above it all. I realize she agreed to moving to France, BUT her career is in America….Hollywood, the city he loathes and everything about it. Just because she agreed to move there and isn’t happy, doesn’t make it unfair to him. IMO it’s unfair of him to not even try to meet her emotional needs. Add the fact that he doesn’t have a real job. He flits from art, journalism, etc. but no real job. I’m getting an a$$ vibe from him.
She has horrible taste in men BTW. Ryan seemed the most normal. Then she moved on to Penn, and now a man who won’t bend one inch for her. I wonder if she’s attracted to drama.
As a French, I fell so sorry for all those bad experiences some of you had been through.
Yes lot of parisians can be very dumb, judgy and snobby with foreigners as well as others french people from little cities.
I always have lived in Paris suburban area. Once I had a parisian co-worker who was surprised to learn that I was a suburban because I was so nice to others people, she assumed I was from the countryside !
And indeed, if you meet a nice parisian, it is most likely to be someone native from another city, my experience told me so, sadly.
What ? Come on! Most born and raised Parisians I know are really friendly and open minded. Lots of people I know living in Paris but raised elsewhere in France are also really decent and kind human beings. Then there are some a!!h!les. I am pretty much sure those also exist in the the suburb, in the rest of France, the US, Canada, other European countries and pretty much all around the wolrd.
I’ve also worked in a very touristic area in the south of France and let me tell you, contrary to popular belief the Parisians are absolutely not the rudest.
But the xenophonic is very very strong in France, it’s hard getting Hate only because the Country you are coming from, most of them don’t bother to get to know you…..
“” Lots of people I know living in Paris but raised elsewhere in France are also really decent and kind human beings””
That was what I tried to say in my last sentence, sorry for my poor english ><
Indeed, I think there is the same problem everywhere. But It is annoying me when I read foreigners telling how bad Parisians are, of course all of them aren't jerk !
Yes, the south of France is known for that, Lot of french-equivalent-of-republicans, mostly old people and/or wealthy people with strong xenophobic feeling. The extremist right-wing is really big there.
I’m trying to learn fluent Czech, for my husband’s sake; we may be moving there, from the U.S. IMO, Slavic languages are extremely hard for English speakers to master, much harder than Latin based languages like Italian and Spanish. I can speak a little French, and understand even more–but no one would ever want to HEAR me: my pronunciation is painful! Some languages are just more elusive to the ear and tongue than others, depending in part on what your native language is.
I remember someone who had friends that were friends with Scarlett and they mentioned how miserable she was living in Paris, like she was so over it and this was in 2014 or so.
I lived and worked in Paris and a small city in eastern France for a number of years. I’m back in Paris quite a bit for work. I’m pretty close to fluent and use French (and three other languages) for work regularly, which makes it easier to keep it fresh and in good form. I love Paris, but as a small town girl from the deep South (in the US), I love it the way I love New York and Chicago. Which is to say, they’re all big, beautiful, busy cities full of busy city folk. Yes, Parisians are rude, but no more than New Yorkers. I think that it’s the daily grind of the big city that wears you down and makes you less neighborly and less likely to give the benefit of the doubt. I guess for me, I don’t get why Scarlett hasn’t tried to learn the language. If you marry someone from another country and make a commitment to live there, you’ll be much happier if you try to learn the language. It’s the best window into cultural understanding. I’m not surprised that she feels alienated and unhappy.
Paris is a particular kind of rude and full of little dog poop, oh and the weather is crappy
Can’t say I blame her
I’m a proud Parisienne and for some odd reason I laughed reading your description.
Learning another language can be pretty tough past your adolescent years, and I would imagine she travels a lot, so it probably hasn’t settled for her. Not everybody has a good ear for language.
I would think part of his reluctance to move – if there’s any truth to the article – would be the difficulty of building his career elsewhere. She can live in France and still be a movie star. It’s a lot harder to reestablish yourself in his kind of industry in another country, yeah?
Does he ever smile?