'09
I love Thursdays. Why? Not because they’re a day off from Friday. I mean that’s fine, but insignificant. At least when compared to Gwyneth Paltrow. As all things are. Thursdays are amazing because they are little mini-passive-aggressive holidays –Gwynnie sends out her weekly Goop email. I know that whatever else happens throughout my week, I am guaranteed some entertainment come this day. That’s why Friday almost seems like a letdown: six more days until Goop Day.
This week, Gwyneth is helping us nourish our inner aspect by talking about addiction. Gwyneth, of course, has no addictions. This would require some admission of imperfection. And Gwyneth is nothing if not stick straight and perfect. But she is fine writing a little intro paragraph with some subtly passive-aggressive judgments of others and their addictions – before offering some incredibly lengthy essays about addiction from her favorite gurus, “sages,” and experts.
Have you ever loved somebody who drinks until their usually charming personality is usurped by a monster? Or discovered that someone you adore is throwing up after every meal? Or wondered if you are stuck in a feedback loop of tension and unrest because you need the adrenaline of stress to function? How do we become enslaved by addiction? What is addiction? Below the sages weigh in….
Love,
Gwyneth”
[From Goop]
Hmm, I wonder who Gwyneth may have adored until she found out she was throwing up after every meal? Could it be none other than Chipmunk Cheeks Trainer to the Stars Tracey Anderson? Tracy’s obvious bulimia is hard to ignore. Not only does she have a child’s body, but she espouses an 800 calorie a day diet. Bulimics often get those chipmunk cheeks because their salivary glands permanently expand from throwing up all the time. Tracy also once admitted she likes to gorge on cookies, and told “Hello!” that she dips Oreos into Pillsbury icing. Does she look like she has a body that would let her get away with that?
I don’t give Gwyneth credit for much, but if she finally figured out that Tracy’s not the guru of physical fitness she thought she was, good for her. Hey, that is the first positive Gwyneth sentence I think I’ve ever written. Tracy’s tactics are downright dangerous – and when I look at her squatty, shapeless body, I can’t understand why anyone would pay good money to look like her. Tracy’s website has her in a bunch of ridiculous “hot” model/stripper poses. She’s still dropping Gwyneth’s name like it’s hot, but maybe Gwyneth’s little dig means she’s finally seeing Tracy for who she is.
Here’s Miss Goop arriving at Claridges Hotel in London on March 13th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Gwyneth Paltrow
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33 Responses to “Who is Gwyneth Paltrow’s bulimic friend?”
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I LOVE that picture! Her throat makes her look like the Crypt Keeper.
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This is so funny. I just got one of Tracy Anderson’s DVD’s yesterday. If she can make me look like Gwyneth, I don’t care if she barfs!
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I love the chin up ‘im higher than society’ aura she’s giving in the header pic. So funny.
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I finally get it! Goop is a blind-item gossip site wrapped in a credit card receipt!
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ewww, that discreption of how you get chipmunk cheeks sounded really gross.
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When you say “Goop e-mail,” you get “Goopy mail.” I think that sounds about right.
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I think Tracy’s body looks good. Her face is another story. Scary.
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No I have never
“wondered if you are stuck in a feedback loop of tension and unrest because you need the adrenaline of stress to function?”
whatever the hell that means
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Shame, Gwen aint receiving much love these days. I don’t really know why we continue to ridicule Goop… can’t we all just agree that it’s a pretentious and laughable blog and move on?
Onto breaking news: Gosh, Gwen really loves those fugly Christian Louboutin shoes. Blech.
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““wondered if you are stuck in a feedback loop of tension and unrest because you need the adrenaline of stress to function?””
I think it means that unless something is going on in her life, she feels wound up.
We usually call them unstable drama queens who can’t cope with normal life and clinically they are referred to as chaotic personalities.
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I have always wondered about this trainer to the stars..
she looks like she has a secret or two..
always soooo wound up and she has those dangerous cheeks…
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@ sakota, sounds like Madonna, non?
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I agree, it sounds like Madonna. But, I think Gwynnie would know better than to say anything about her, because Mad Madge will body-slam her, and then throw her bony a** out a window. I would be afraid for my life if I was Gwynnie.
The person who drinks could be her hubbie, Chris Martin?
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“but maybe Gwyneth’s little dig means she’s finally seeing Tracy for who she is.”
yeah right. and once you find out that a friend is sick and obviously needs help you drop them cos “you see them for who they are”!
sorry jaybird, but that´s a poor choice of words.
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It wouldn’t surprise me if he did booze his days away. Wouldn’t you if you had to live day in and day out with someone so pretentious and stuffing your refrigerator with organic garbage and tofu? I know I would.
Then of course her airs of gentility and idiotic social climbing.
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Those chipmunk cheeks on Tracy A. have nothing to do with bulimia. The enlarged salivary glands are on the neck, not the cheeks. It’s impossible to tell without seeing a good shot of her neck. It’s the neck, folks! I’m actually more concerned with her weird, plumped looking boobs. They’re all out of proportion with her shoulders and arms…..
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@Orangejulius – the parotid gland is enlarged with bulimia. That’s in your cheek. So yes, chipmunk cheeks.
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Gwyneth has an amazing body. At least since she’s been working out with Tracy she’s put some meat on her bones, not as skinny as her Brad Pitt years…
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… and the bulimic friend is… WINONA RYDER!!!!!!
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She is selling people out with these blinds, nearly left and right. Stay classy, Gwyn!
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I think Paltrow looks great.
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Those shoes are uglEEEEEEE. They look like her kids took a box of bandaids and stuck them to her feet. IDGI. I don’t get it.
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Tracy’s body look scary, especially those cheeks. To say nothing of those toilet-plunger looking implants. Yuck.
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tracy has NO NECK.
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The woman works in Hollywood. The more sensible question would probably be, who does she know who isn’t bulimic.
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Gwyneth never looked better. She has a great body and I like her on the that show with Mario Batalli, seems as though she would be fun to hang out with.
That trainer is a wee bit strange looking but she has put meat on Gwyneth’s bones and that’s a good thing.
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now i know how bethanny frankel stays so thin…she has the same thing going on in the face.
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““but maybe Gwyneth’s little dig means she’s finally seeing Tracy for who she is.”
yeah right. and once you find out that a friend is sick and obviously needs help you drop them cos “you see them for who they are”!
sorry jaybird, but that´s a poor choice of words.”
I agree.
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I don’t see a wedding ring. Interesting.
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Gwynnie needs to remove the stick up her a** pronto and talk to her husband about ‘sticking’ her with something else…it might marginally improve her mood…GOD what a horrid header pic…supercilious as all hell…
pray to the internet gods that her server goes down permanently…
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haha she so smart to blame it on the other bulimic girl! when it’s her the one with bulimia.. and does all that ”organic” food just to cover up her bulimia.. you guys have to be blind for not notice that
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