I’m kind of surprised that Hulk Hogan has $100,000 worth of jewelry in his house – his family seems way too cheap to have anything other than Canal Street knockoffs – but it turns out he does, because $100,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from Hogan’s place last night. Apparently the Hulk is in the process of moving, and during that processes the jewelry’s been looted. I wonder if it’s possible it’s just missing? I know that sounds naïve, but I always lose stuff when I move and then it turns up a year later. And it’s always the important stuff. I lost at least $300,000 worth of bling the last time I moved. Turns out I left it in my diamond-encrusted moving box. I’m just saying, the Hogan family doesn’t seem the sort who are so spot-on-intelligent that they could keep track of all their crap. Apparently this is just the most recent in a rash of bizarre problems for the Hulk – his Lamborghini erupted into flames a while ago – for no reason.

“In the latest bit of bad fortune, Hogan was moving out of his home in the 2900 block of North Bay Road on Thursday when jewelry — including a platinum diamond watch and some diamond-encrusted dog tags — vanished, according to a report filed with the Miami Beach Police Department.

“Hogan’s son Nicholas told police officers he had left a watch and two necklaces wrapped in a T-shirt in his upstairs closet. About 3:30 p.m. he went to retrieve the items. Gone. Four maids and several movers were in the house at the time. They were questioned by police.

“Back in November Nicholas was driving the family’s yellow Lamborghini Diablo VT through a residential area not far from the Hogan residence when he smelled a burning odor. He pulled over and got out of the car — right before it burst into flames. Nicholas wasn’t hurt, but the Lamborghini was burned beyond recognition.

“Hogan (birth name Terrence Gene Bollea) is an actor, former professional wrestling champion and VH1 reality show star. The reality show revolved around his life at the house on North Bay Road, which set him back more than $12 million in 2006. That chapter of his life is coming to a conclusion. He and his family — wife Linda, son Nicholas and daughter Brooke, an aspiring singer — are moving away, likely back to their previous house in a Clearwater suburb, which they still own.”

[From the Miami Herald]

Something fishy is afoot. Although I’d never accuse the Hulk of solving the worlds’ energy crisis or doing long division in his head, he doesn’t seem as dumb as his kids - I’m putting the blame squarely on them. What are the odds that your car - driven by your 17-year-old son - just bursts into flames and he didn’t do a damn thing wrong? I’m guessing Brooke ate the jewelry on accident, and now she’s too embarrassed to fess up.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s a picture of Brooke Hogan rocking her grillz. I’m pretty sure this is where her brother’s jewelry went. Below is a photo of the Hogans’ home taken this morning. I can’t tell if that’s a house or a medical center. I’m going to guess that it doubles as both. Thanks to Splash for the photos. Header image of Hulk & Brooke at the Z100’s Jingle Ball. Image thanks to PR Photos.