These stories about Pippa Middleton’s wedding, OH MY GOD. I cannot believe how much coverage there is about this fakakta wedding. I would understand it a bit more if – I’ll say it! – the Middletons were aristocrats and and it was an actual society wedding featuring “Lady Pippa” marrying some titled lord or whatever. But this is not a society wedding! It is a tabloid wedding which could easily be totally C-list (the bride is pissed off at a reality star, for goodness sake) if not for the presence of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Anyway, let’s dive in to many of the endless details that are saturating the gossip-media:
The honeymoon. According to E! News, Pippa and Terribly Moderately Wealthy James Matthews plan to honeymoon in the French Alps. A source says they just want to “feel like they are alone” and “Both of them are so stressed right now, they just want to go away and feel like the only two people in the world. The wedding started out as such a small thing and has kind of escalated into this huge circus. [The honeymoon] will be the perfect chance to just unwind and enjoy the first days of married life. They’re calling it ‘The Escape!’ Seriously. That’s how much they just want to have privacy.” Going to the French Alps in late May is very off-season for a ski resort, right? They’re apparently renting a chalet and not hiring any staff. My first thought was… I bet that’s cheaper. They’re painting this as a decision made so they can get away from drama, but really they were looking for something cheap. Which makes me wonder again if Matthews really is as terribly rich as we initially thought.
Pippa’s Bridal Boot Camp. If the term “bridal boot camp” makes your eye twitch, you are not alone. According to E!, Pippa bought a Bridal Membership at the “Grace Belgravia health club in London.” The membership includes “a personal trainer, skincare and leg toning treatments, plus yoga, pilates, spinning, cardio training, dance and meditation classes. The club also offers to arrange home deliveries of specialized healthy meals.” The Bridal Membership also includes access to a “team of doctors and specialists” who will give her “botox, peels, fillers, microdermabrasion and an assortment of laser treatments, as well as IV therapies.” So if Pippa shows up to her wedding looking like Nicole Kidman, we know what happened. I also believe Pippa is being paid by Grace Balgravia for these kinds of tabloid mentions, just as her body is being sponsored by SirtFoods. Again… is she poor? Why is she selling so much of her wedding??
The costume changes. We already heard that Pippa is “demanding” that guests change their clothes for the reception, and the Daily Beast spoke to a wedding-organizing expert who basically says that Pippa’s not a diva for that. The organizer says, “It is increasingly common to suggest to guests that they might want to wear different clothes in the evening. It’s quite demanding, but it only truly becomes Bridezilla when they specify the colour they want the guests in. It’s actually quite a good way of letting your guests know that you are planning to do some seriously wild partying in the evening, and what might be appropriate for church won’t necessarily work at midnight on the dancefloor.” Which is what I thought too – the Middletons are going to throw a huge party and they want people to have fun. The Daily Beast actually goes on at length about how Pippa’s a great party planner and she will have saved her best ideas for her own wedding. I kind of doubt it, you guys.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Oh please if they wanted it to be a ‘small and private affair’ then she shouldn’t have hired a PR person specifically to shill the sh!t out of your fake royal/society wedding so you can get all the freebies.
The Fail will be shoving it and these 2 down our throats for the next month.
Her new PR person does a great job. The DF publishes articles about her every day. The comments are not so nice but I guess she doesn’t care.
Feel the same way. If you don’t want a huge wedding, don’t have one.
Betti
Can I be your +1 to the wedding?
Who is the new PR person? When were they hired?
Pippa signs up Posh and Becks’ PR mastermind for advice in the run-up to her wedding to hedge fund millionaire
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4366572/Pippa-signs-Posh-Becks-PR-mastermind.html
OMG she looks horrible in the second photo.
A friend of mine has seen Pippa and Carole in person and said that Pippa is not very attractive.
I remember the first time I saw a picture of
Pipps. I though she was unfortunate looking. Kinda man-ish as well
It hasn’t even happened yet and will probably not be that big of a deal. The media is trying to whip the public up into a frenzy over her wedding with speculation and it will probably end up being fairly low key and then they’ll disappear for their honeymoon.
But is the public anything but whipped in compete irritation at articles about Pippa leaving the house, going to the toilet, whatever? Is it ‘good’ PR when you annoy the shit out of people? Really? Is there a frenzy of interest? Not if you go by the DM comments. Why this woman needs so much attention leads me to believe she is mentally ill.
I’m glad somebody else started this train! Yes, she does. Is that spray tan or fake n bake, you think?
I don’t think it’s spray tan.
No amount of microdermabrasion and peels are going to help this girl’s skin.
I know. She has completely ruined it.
True. That is not a colour any non radioactive organism should be.
Puce. Not a good color for skin.
Whatever! This is all speculation. You’re judging the hell out of her for nonsense that hasn’t even really happened. Anybody who owns a $28,000,000 home is outrageously wealthy or living a lie. There, those are your two options for this guy.
I agree. I am neutral on Pippa. She surely is getting tons of press but if people didn’t “click”, she wouldn’t. Anyway, hopefully she’ll only ever have the one wedding (so enjoy) and they will live happily ever after.
She’s getting tons of press because she HIRED A PR PERSON. You’d only do that if you want attention and are trying to make money off of something.
@HappyMom
Exactly!
Really? She hired a PR person to tell everyone about how stressed out she is and exactly where she’s allegedly going on her honeymoon? Yeah sure. Also, these stories conflict with the other gossip stories about how she wants to appear classy and low-key to fit in with the gentry. Which is it?
PR person, Stars. You don’t have PR if you are just having a family wedding. At least the people I know who had family weddings didn’t have a PR representative. And the stressed and relaxed articles? Crap to sell papers planted by someone to give the impression poor Pips didn’t ask for any of this. If she didn’t want stress and publicity then she should have thought twice about the publicist.
I figured it was all just an attempt to come up with content. All of the word on her wedding seems like they needed to come up with stuff. Then again, weddings are by nature kind of boring, so unless something goes completely wrong, it’s all going to be lame headlines.
Stars, we ask the same question. She used to be everywhere until her career in journalism faded out. Then we were told that she was going to be low key. She stuck to her word. With exception of a few fundraising events or her endurance marathons, she kept a low profile.
Then came her engagement and she rolled the announcement out like a starlet. Not discreetly with a notice in the times, but a call to the DM, paps invited into the private courtyard of her home to photograph her showing off her engagement ring on multiple days. Big engagement week. Then it all quietened down again.
Every few months, some titbit would drop about the wedding, but nothing that got any traction.
Then came the news that she had hired a publicist for the wedding. Since the day, we’ve had a sustained Pippa’s wedding articles in the media. Sometimes several times a day. Pippa being papped more, breathless insidery details which may or may not be true which isn’t their point. What matters is more PR articles manufacturing public interest so that this wedding becomes a media circus.
That publicist is doing an amazing job.
@LAK: do you think it’s Pippa driven or Carol driven? Because as you noted, she was indeed really low key (for a Middleton) and then the wedding PR. I guess I’m just having flashbacks to my own mother losing her damn mind when I got married.
Bridget: i think it’s both. Pippa looks pleased to be papped and isn’t hiding. Carole is using the usual suspects to talk up the wedding on top of the publicist’s efforts.
The fact that they called the DM to announce the engagement is very revealing about their level of thirst. It also kills off any notion that they are maligned as far as their fame thirst and it’s all a coincidence brought on by being royal adjacent.
She hired the Beckham publicist, Jo Molloy, to handle the PR for the wedding. Open-ended contract so there might be more PR needed post-wedding, God knows why.
Pippa is a thirsty girl. She knows when she is being papped (because she or her hag of a mother has called them) – she is very posed and artificial and smug. Ugh.
+1 weareallmadeofstars
Agree, WeareMade…. plus I tend to toss all piles of Miidleshanks nonsense and fluff at the hooves of Mama M. When will she focus on James, is my question.
As for the French Alps, an ex and I spent a month in May/June in a house we took a few years back when we both had big projects to focus on and wanted some space and air and gorgeous daily runs, a nice place when we had some colleagues in for a few days too, and it was distractingly lovely. I can see it as a choice, actually, especially if you want to bike and hike and run. That is my nice for the day. 😉
Thank you! He has his own jet! IT is bonkers to suggest he isn’t wealthy
Or he has a massive mortgage. In England, the average mortgage is more than 10 times a persons income. He could be making 2.8 million a year, which while certainly wealthier than average is by no means outrageously wealthy in London terms.
Hmmm I would disagree with that – most mortgages in England are 4-6 times your annual salary. Most HOMES in London are 10 times your annual salary but i don’t know anyone who’d be given a mortgage that large.
She looks like a toasted orange Marcia Brady in the second photo.
Yes. I knew she reminded me of someone, that’s it Marcia Brady who got locked in a spray tan booth.
No wonder she has terrible skin (which makes her old-looking) – just look at the 2nd pic, sunbathing etc. is everything to her.
All the Middleton women have bad skin, its down to genetics, smoking, tanning and the constant dieting.
True.. what a shame.
Does Pippa smoke? How can she do all these marathons if she smokes?
I agree the second picture is crap, but in the first one she looks nice, natural, and unlike her sister and all her extensions, her hair isn’t faling all over her face.
@maria I have a friend who smokes and runs marathons
Marathoner here. Knowing the events that Pippa has done, and at a respectable speed, I’d be surprised if she hadn’t given up smoking. And I know a lot of runners, not a single one smokes, so I would say that the above-person’s friend is the exception more than the rule.
Betti again I am your +1. I a man glad I don’t smoke or diet although I am not shy with the plastic surgeons knife
I’ll never forget going to the parking lot to drive to a marathon staging area & seeing another runner, stretching against his car & smoking a cigarette. It happens.
Bridget – I smoked a pack a day for two decades (gave up 5 months ago and counting) and I’m a runner. Throughout my smoking years and now I am considerably more fit than almost all my non smoking friends.
Congratulations on quitting! My Dad quit smoking after twenty years, and he said it was one of the best decisions he ever made.
This is the first time I click on a post about her just to see if there’s anything interesting besides the comments, and I can just say that I’ll go back to never click on a thread of this person again. Totally not getting the hype.
Pippa TIP: if you want to get married, you should get married.
Perfect!
WOW, I wish I could have gone through a A wedding bootcamp.
I read in daily mail the headline to one of their Pippa articles:
Pippa’s big day ding dongs.
I almost fell on the floor laughing and still chuckle. How very insightful. That headline says it all.
Call me when there’s a boot camp for bridegrooms.
You’ve never watched Groomzillas? Spoiler: I’m pretty sure they’re mostly not really heterosexual.
What happened to the honeymoon in the Scottish highlands because Pippa’s a country girl? I really liked that one. I don’t quite get the French Alps though. Unless money really is an issue, wouldn’t the Riviera or Ibiza or something be more honeymoon-like?
Don’t get that either. They wouldn’t have paid for the Scottish h highlands either because his family owns it. My take is this is the first of several honeymoons, and they’re not even calling it a honeymoon. The real thing is coming later.
Maria, yeah that actually makes sense. Like a year long globe-trotting extravaganza. (Honestly, that doesn’t sound too terrible either, if one happens to be moderately terribly wealthy.)
If they aren’t going to the Highlands, I volunteer to go in their place. It is truly one of my most favorite places on Earth. And I am writing this from the incredible city of Amman.
Megan,
ITA! I loved the idea of the Scottish Highlands. Someone else mentioned that it’s a truly serene, secluded spot for being alone together. I’m much more into hiking than beaches, so I totally get it. I’m sure the French Alps are spectacular in early summer also, but as Kaiser pointed out that sounds like a budget version of trendy, which would be a weird choice for wannabe royals.
Lol! I live in the Scottish Highlands and right now I’d give my arm to go somewhere else! It’s raining and the roads are chock full of those bloody white camper vans all driving at 10mph. Only good thing is the midges aren’t out – yet. Ok, slight sarcasm it IS lovely but for a honeymoon for Pips? From what I recall Glen Affric is just land, I don’t think there is property with it. There are a couple of ‘big’ houses but nothing special, but then I’m just a common person with very little interest in the matter. It’s very much a (off-season right now) hunting/shooting/fishing area so should suit her if and when she comes up to visit.
No offense, but the people who keep saying she and meghan markle look like eachother, seriously need to go check their eyes.
With all the tanning this one does, maybe she’s TRYING to look like MM?
Nah, Pippa and Kate have always sunbathed too much.
And not one of them thought/thinks of the consequences.
There is no resemblance between Meghan and Pippa. I never really read about her or looked at pictures until this wedding craziness. One of the papers did a photo slideshow of what she and Kate have worn to other weddings. Poor girl has been to so many weddings-and some are already divorced! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/people/19-times-duchess-cambridge-pippa-middleton-nailed-wedding-guest/
The clothing she wore to other weddings was absolutely awful. She has worse taste then her sister! Plus she does not know how to dress for her body type.
There is nothing special about her. She is rather plain looking. I cannot understand how a 33 year old has had no career. In New York the socialites seem to do something before they are married-fashion, journalism or family business.
This marriage seems like it is a matter of timing not a true love affair. She has aged out.
NY Socialite jobs are stuff like “jewelry designer” and “gallery girl” or “equestrian”. So not exactly real jobs either, I don’t know that I would suggest bringing them up as a contrast.
@karen I see a resemblance between Pippa and Meghan,
100%.
Talk about a tasteless display of First World obsessions . . . by the time this wedding is over, MM will be fleeing for her life. It is amazing how a family that spent so much time and effort “making it” could end up looking so horrible as a result. Is that what success and marrying into a royal family does to people?
It’s Pippa’s wedding. She is entitled have the wedding she wants, not the wedding others think she should have,
Looks like Pipp-squeak’s PR machine is working overtime to put the focus back on the bride. Pippa’s nuptials wouldn’t get any press at all if she weren’t the sister of the future queen consort and the aunt of a future king.
Gad. There’s not even enough in the article to snark about. Dull, duller, dullest.
Even being the sister of a Duchess wasn’t getting her wedding press, not until she used MM , saying she’s not invited then all the press picked it up. Her PR people turned it into a 3 parter, first she wasn’t going, then only to the reception, now to the actual wedding, they have earned their salary. I want Meghan to plead female problems and send Harry by himself. This is crazy
Noooo! We have to have Megs go! ME-GHAN! ME-GHAN!
Woot Woot! I am on the biracial, American, Princess train and I am *not* getting off until the LAST STOP -Buckingham Palace balcony wave!!
Who’s with me?!
Elaine: me!
@Elaine, LOL! My first thought when I saw ME-GHAN was Key & Peele’s “Meegan, come back…!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eirBtt7wIDU
Oh yes I forgot how Pippa used to be touted as a “party planner.” Here’s a wedding tip: flowers boost any wedding. Place a bouquet at each guest table for the best look. #pippatips
As a keen hiker, I’ll just adress French Alps thing – I’d rather go there in may or even june, when there is less prospect of heavy snow, and just beautiful nature all around. Since I don’t care much about skiing.
That second photo looks like what you’d get if Jersey mom (memba her?) had a kid with Trump. A little tanning goes a llloooooooong way Pippa. Geez.
If they wanted cheap they’d just go to the resort his family owns. I guess they just want to go to the mountains.
Re: Grace of Bulgravia. I don’t think that’s a paid shill (though actual Londoners can give better insight). That’s THE high end gym that women of wealth go to. It’s incredibly high end and I have a really hard time picturing them giving a comp for a mention like that. One of the York girls has a membership as well.
I’m surprised she couldn’t score a free honeymoon someplace.
Marcia Brady Middleton needs to step away from the tanning bed it isn’t doing her any favors.
Eh, Meghan & Harry are the only interesting thing about this wedding. Poor Carole.
Is she competing with baby fists for the worlds most orange tone? That last photo is just wrong. Girl, you’re pretty. Put the tanning products down.
Is that an old photo (in front of the British Heart Foundation background)? She certainly looks more natural in the top photo. I hope she’s gotten the memo re: not cosplaying as an Oompa Loompa for her wedding day, but only time will tell.
Very plain looking girl. It doesn’t help her style is really bad with all the money and staff she has. She could look much better. Get a stylist for a month to teach you what fits you and what not, then you can do it yourself.
I am surprised at her skin. Yes I know she is outdoorsy but still. For 30 years I didn’t even consider wearing sunscreen at all (nobody told us too when we were little and we wouldn’t even use hats or stay in any shadow-crazy years) and we have 300 days of sun here no joke. Yes I have darks spots and stuff but not at that level. I mean I am 36 and I have a super smooth skin except my eleven between my eyebrows.
Girls has abused her skin and now she has to go the botox and fillers route.
As for this wedding people were going to talk anyway as she is associated with public people. Plus the fact that they are not shy does help. But I have noticed that besides the press release from KP there aren’t really any direct quotes from the family so I understand all this news is mostly gossip or planted stories from her PR.
I was born near the Arctic circle as where every generation of my family going back to Viking times. My complexion is what you’d expect for that heritage, ie very very pasty pale. My family moved to northern Australia and then later to Malaysia when I was a kid. I HATED sunscreen and would bolt whenever my parents would wield a bottle. I still refuse to wear it even though I’m well old enough to know better. I also LOVE being out in the sun. Even though I’ve spent half of the year in the overcast and frigid UK for the last few years I am a decade older than Pippa and was a 2 decade smoker. Still my skin doesn’t look half as damaged as hers. Only a few very fine smile lines near my eyes and the 11 on my forehead I’ve had since I was young.
I might show this pic to my mother next time she nags me about this (which she does from sunny Noosa in January when I’m living in London – mothers gotta love em)
They’re stressed because the wedding is getting out of control? Please. Blame mom for that. This was never going to be a quiet, private affair.
I *screamed* when I saw that second photo. Thank heavens she has laid off the tanner and black under eye liner lately.
“Going to the French Alps in late May is very off-season for a ski resort, right? They’re apparently renting a chalet and not hiring any staff. My first thought was… I bet that’s cheaper. ”
I am sure it is cheaper, but there are many, many other, far cheaper options around the world; and however “moderately wealthy” they are, you can bet they are still wealthy enough to afford staff if they wanted to. My first thought would be the really want to be alone, that’s why they are going there off-season.
Only white people (probably even only in the UK) that this plain face flat behind can generate some publicity with those planted stories. You gave the world Kate Price, come on! The level of interest on her just makes white women look bad – if she’s THAT interesting, what does that say about you?
As opposed to the deeply fascinating lives of the RHO stable? Or the latest Bachelor contestants that fill trashy magazines and tabloid newspapers in America?
I’m only interested in Queen Carole’s wedding outfit. She puts those hopeless daughters to shame. #bosslady