Jared Kushner is famously silent. Like Greta Garbo, only with fascism. From what I gather, Jared isn’t a shy person at all – he talks to his wife, he talks to his father-in-law, he talks to Steve Bannon, and he talks to his lawyers, of course. But he’s famously silent in public. Ivanka is the one who gives interviews with her patented Fascistic Baby Whisper™. Bigly Trump is the one who screeches like a toddler mid-tantrum. Jared is the Iceman, the strong silent type, the one who says what he has to say behind-the-scenes. Only he isn’t really the Iceman after all. Precious Jared gave his first public speech yesterday at the White House and now I know why he doesn’t do much public speaking: he sounds like a squeaky prepubescent kid.

I did not expect him to sound so young. He’s 36 years old – why does it sound like his stones haven’t dropped yet? I’m also a little bit surprised to hear his regional accent – there’s a slice of Jersey/New York in his voice too, you would have though all of his fancy prep schools and Ivy League education would have smoothed out those vowels. The way he says “auwwditting.” Jersey Boy.

Meanwhile, there’s some additional Precious Jared news! Precious Jared is going back to Israel sometime soon to work out a Middle East peace deal. It honestly seems like Bigly and Precious think Israeli-Palestinian peace can be hammered out in a month or two. This should be good. And of course, Precious Jared is lawyering up with #AllTheLawyers, because he’s ball-deep in treason and he’s right in the middle of the Russia investigation.

Jared Kushner is looking for a new attorney. The search began last month, right after word leaked that Kushner had tried to set up a secret communications channel between the Kremlin and the Trump transition team, the New York Times reports. At present, Kushner is represented by Jamie Gorelick, who was a partner with Robert Mueller at the powerhouse Washington law firm WilmerHale — until the Justice Department invited Mueller to leave the private sector for a gig as special prosecutor. In their interviews with the Times, Kushner’s allies suggested that Gorelick’s ties to Mueller had prompted the senior White House adviser to explore other options. Gorelick herself seemed to confirm this rationale in a statement Sunday.

“After the appointment of our former partner Robert Mueller as special counsel, we advised Mr. Kushner to obtain the independent advice of a lawyer with appropriate experience as to whether he should continue with us as his counsel,” Gorelick wrote.

But there’s reason to think Kushner’s search is about more than his current lawyer’s theoretical conflict of interest. Gorelick is a respected attorney who has shepherded many a client through government investigations. But she isn’t known as a trial lawyer. Which is to say: She’s an excellent choice for someone who’s just looking to get through a bunch of interviews with investigations without making any big mistakes. If you’ve already made a mistake big enough to potentially land you in a courtroom, however, you’re gonna want a mercenary with more experience on that terrain. And Kushner appears to want the latter.

[From NY Magazine]

This should be fun. If Jared needs a killer trial attorney ALREADY, then sh-t is really heating up. What are you going to bring to the Precious Jared Impeachment Party? I hope someone brings a really nice brisket.

Photos courtesy of Getty.