Currently there is a baby boom in The Hills. Heidi Montag, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port are all pregnant. Has anyone worked in an office where it seems like everyone gets pregnant at once? And you start avoiding the water fountain because you don’t want to catch it? Whitney, who is a reality star, fashion designer and, of course, a *sigh* lifestyle blogger, is probably due late next month or early August and she’s kind of done with the whole pregnancy thing. But it isn’t just the heartburn, constant peeing, being woken up seven times a night with a solid kick or the sore everything thats he’s sick of, it’s the fact that she can’t bring herself to have sex with her husband Tim Rosenman. I imagine that makes two people in the Rosenman/Port household that can’t wait for the baby to arrive.
Whitney Port’s road to baby couldn’t end sooner. The Hills reality star-turned-lifestyle guru told the LadyGang Podcast she’s “so ready for this pregnancy to be over,” partly because she hasn’t had sex with hubby Tim Rosenman in some time.
Port, who is currently in her third-trimester, revealed that intimacy while pregnant isn’t exactly her cup of tea. She revealed, “It is so not for me! It’s not. I feel so uncomfortable with my body that I can’t get into the mood. Like, I can’t feel sexy.”
The 32-year-old confessed her and Tim did “other things” in the bedroom, but “once the belly really started happening,” sex was out of the question. Apparently, Whitney’s man is also pretty hesitant about doing the deed.
“I think if I was one of those pregnant women that loved it and was confident, then he’d be into it,” she explained. “I think I’ve turned him off of it because I’m like, ‘Don’t look!’ I’ll even not say anything and he’ll see me getting undressed and be like, ‘I’m not looking, I’m not looking!'”
Pregnancy is just as unique as the child it produces. I have friends I consider to be just like me and we all had wildly different experiences/feelings about our pregnancies. I have said before, I loved being pregnant. And I was about as horny as can be throughout. Whitney may have a point about Tim’s reluctance being due to her resistance to it. The Mister was cautious at first. He once admitted he was afraid he would “poke the baby’s head” (love you, babe – but don’t flatter yourself). However, once he saw my ‘enthusiasm’ he had no issue whatsoever carrying on as usual. I have a friend who had little sex drive when she was pregnant with her boys but her libido was off the hook when she was pregnant with her daughter. Another friend had no drive until her third trimester. No two are the same, really. Whitney might be into it if she gets pregnant again, who knows?
On the other hand, Whitney is talking quite a bit about her weight and body. I never watched The Hills so I don’t know if she’s always done this. She said, “I’m so excited to get back in shape. I love it. That was such a big part of my life. It made me feel so good.” She has a YouTube series called I Love My Baby, But I Hate My Pregnancy. She also wrote on Instagram, “At first, I must be honest, I had a very hard time coming to terms with my changing body. I had always prided myself on being healthy from the inside out and it was difficult not labeling my pregnant body ‘fat.'” Maybe her lack of desire is a combination of hormones and something else.
Whitney also runs a flower delivery service with her friend called bloom2bloom. I love flowers. I have a brown thumb so either someone else has to grow them for me or I have to buy them. Their bouquets are lovely. They have a “I just gathered these wildflowers on my walk” feeling to them and I adore it. But, get this – they donate to Wish on a Teen’s Design My Room program with every delivery. I just ordered the Berry Bunch as a treat for myself.
Photo credit: WENN Photos
Everyone is different. I was always extra horny while pregnant. Once my doctor told me that sex wouldn’t harm my baby, I had no fear and didn’t want to stop
I actually love that she’s honest about her pregnancy and not perpetuating the “pregnancy glow” myth in the way that other celebs do. It’s refreshing!
it is refreshing. I had pretty uneventful pregnancies, but I hated being pregnant. I was just uncomfortable and didn’t like the feeling of my body not being my own. I also had zero libido both times. there was definitely no glow happening with me.
Count me in. I am currently in my second trimester and my drive is gone since the beginning. I blame the nausea and persistent anemia to this and the fact to feel that I don’t own my body in these months.
It makes me sad when women feel fat when they are pregnant. Please just appreciate the fact that you are pregnant, something many women long for. And that having a healthy child is not a given. This superficial focus on a few extra pounds is so shallow and sad.
I’m pregnant and I feel fat because I am. I put on 30 kilos because of various reasons. It hurts really bad especially on the joints, and I am afraid my body will be ruined for ever after that. You are free to think I am shallow, I honestly don’t care too much, but if you never been through it you shouldn’t be so judgemental about it. You don’t cease to be a woman because you are a mother/mother to be.
And it’s not just the weight gain. It’s also the gassiness, heartburn, hemorrhoids, leaky bladder, sciatica, and SPD that make you feel like crap.
Er… no. I don’t see why a woman should “get over it and count her blessings” just because there are women who can’t have children. Pregnancy can suck. Some are sick from the beginning to the end. The body changes. And when you’ve lived with one sort of body for a long time, it can be alienating, difficult and even repulsive to see how your body changes into something you’re neither familiar nor comfortable with.
It’s not superficial at all. Human identity is tied to personality and views but also how a person looks, and it is a legitimate, valid thing to feel uncomfortable in a body you’re not used to be in, that doesn’t behave nor look like it used to. In fact the feeling of alienation can be so severe that it can contribute to the development of a mental illness.
A woman doesn’t stop being a person who feels a certain way about herself when she gets pregnant. And she certainly can feel bad about themselves and how they look, even if they’re ‘luckier than many other women’.
Our bodies tend to change with age, but pregnancy changes are so rapid and drastic in comparison. Add in the discomfort level that can be high for some – yes, that would make anybody feel alienated from their own body, despite the wonder of growing another human inside them.
I’ll be 40 weeks pregnant on Sunday. I didn’t gain in my first trimester due to constant nausea. So I’ve put 50 Lbs on in the past six months, same as with my first. My hips hurt, my joints hurt, nothing fits me, my bed creaks when I get in. Guess what? I feel FAT!! Get over it. Pregnancy is hard, this one is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through physically. I haven’t been able to even take a walk in the last two months due to major hip and pelvic issues that some women end up with.
I’m struggling not to feel depressed and anxious every day. I would still do it again, just to have my daughter whom I’ll be meeting any day. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend it’s sunshine and rainbows because other women struggle to get pregnant. We all have our struggles. My struggle right now is trying not to worry too much about whether this pregnancy will leave me with more lifelong spinal and mobility issues than I already had. And not to project about how much physical therapy I’ll need to walk without a cane or a limp again. I just have to wait and hope for the best, and accept what happens.
My main point: get over this narrative of “women must always glow and be grateful for every moment and aspect of pregnancy, because some women can’t get pregnant”.
Stay strong sister, you are a badass warrior godess in my eyes!
I had the pelvic girdle pain in my pregnancy and walked with a crutch for the last 3 months, my little girl is now 4 weeks old and it has eased off a lot. Not perfect but getting there so hopefully yours will too. I had IVF in order to have both of my babies, I am extremely grateful to have been able to have two healthy children but pregnancy itself still sucked! I see no reason to lie about not enjoying pregnancy!
Patricia, I hear you. I had constant vomiting with both my pregnancies but still gained a lot of weight that has affected my joints till this day (my kids are 25 and 18). All that vomiting wrecked my stomach and gave me acid reflux. It was worth it, of course, but my body has never been the same.
Best wishes to you. My pregnancy was very hard, but eased off so much after the delivery. keep strong; we’re pulling for you!
The body you’ve always had rapidly changes and becomes essentially unrecognizable in form and function in half a year, and proceeds to change every which way, and sometimes back again after birth, and will continue to change for at least a year.
The disconnect in a sudden huge physical change is perfectly understandable, and normal, and it’s not shallow or sad.
I have always wanted to have children. Seeing the positive pregnancy test, was one of the happiest days of my life next to my wedding day but that doesn’t mean my painful experiences should not matter because I struggled to get pregnant for a year or count your blessings situation. I was sick every day of my pregnancy (all 9 mths). I had extreme pelvic pain and had to use my maternity leave 2 months early because I was unable to get out of the bed on most days. Pregnancy is no joke. It is a stressor on your body. I didn’t recognize myself and being in so much pain I couldn’t be a good partner to my husband. I couldn’t relate to the shiny, happy images and messages pregnant women were giving because all I felt was the pain. We shouldn’t shame a woman for her emotions during that time.
Well, I felt fat. I had a huge, stretched out belly full of over 9 lbs of baby, fluid, and the placenta. Moving around was difficult and I felt like a beached whale.
I know how fortunate I am to have three healthy children. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but I’m not gonna pretend like it doesn’t suck.
i was super horny when pregnant but it hurt to have sex. nature is cruel!
I was super into it, too, but I bleed a lot of bright red blood every time we tried. So just… not worth it. At all.
I’m kinda glad I have no idea who she is..
Currently 34 weeks pregnant. In constant pain. I can’t even get up the stairs TO the bedroom, much less do anything IN it.
It sucks, but it’s worth it.
Hugs and congrats in equal measure, Penguen xxxx
Thank you!
I was just talking about this with some gfs!!! Pregnancy wreaks havoc with your body and yes the miracle of life is amazing BUT your body goes through so much, and I honestly fear the changes if I do decide to have a baby. Its not at all shallow to worry about the physical changes…as a women our bodies are not just ovens for baking babies! I feel whitney as my sisters have shared how uncomfortable and painful pregnancy can be up until giving birth. Everyone is different but fair to say some ppl enjoy being pregnant more than others.
You could be one of the women who just sails through, too, you know?
I always thought I’d be one of the women with all the horrible pregnancy symptoms because my body is all sorts of messed up normally and freaks out at every change. Also, I’m 34 years old, it’s not the prime age for pregnancy. And my mother had difficult pregnancies.
I’m 26 weeks along now and – touch wood – it’s been a breeze so far. No nausea (and I normally get carsick all the time), no pains at all, I gained about 8-9lbs and feel OK, and the baby is apparently doing great too. Hopefully it stays like this for the last couple of months, but even if it doesn’t, I still would have gone through 2/3 of the pregnancy feeling so much better than I ever imagined I would.
You body surprises you in pregnancy, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Your experience could easily be entirely different than your friends’ or sisters’. You’re absolutely right in saying everyone is different and some people enjoy it more than others. Just don’t let other people’s experience put you off, if you do feel like you’d like to have kids.
Sheesh, Blessings and Hugs to the Pregnants on thread!, you ladies make my Tokophobia shoot up to Astronomical levels!, Especially cause hard as this is on the body( and it Is!, my gfs all paint the most harrowing pics) , It Isn’t even nearly Over for you Bbs! The Mommy wars, the get skinny first, the smartest baby on PreK, the most organic crap Baby Einstein can take etc etc etc… *after this im going to check my IUD Strings*
QQ there’s no opting out of the physical issues pregnancy can and does bring. But the rest of that bull… opt out! My son is almost three years old and honestly our days are filled with so much joy. I have nothing to do with any of the mom shaming, the body pressure, the comparisons etc. My son is happy, smart, so so loving. I have mom friends who are chill and supportive. I’ve met plenty of moms who do the shaming and obsessing you’re talking about, yes it’s out there. But you don’t have to participate!
But yeah check those strings woman. I’ll be obsessively making sure I never get pregnant again after this one haha.
I know everyone will HATE me for saying this, but I think it’s a big problem when either person in a marriage says “No sex” for a prolonged period of time. I hope she is at least willing to creatively pleasure him, and I’d say the same thing if it was the man wanting to avoid sex. I don’t think even a pregnant woman should get a free pass for a long period of time; caring about your partner’s sex needs is a huge indicator of your willingness to think about someone other than yourself. I know several couples who don’t have any sex, and it’s heartbreaking for the neglected partner. I’d advise anyone who doesn’t want sex for a long time to get a thorough checkup, and if all is well, get some counseling.
I’d agree with you, if it was about a longer time. Even then it is between the couple though. They have to talk about it and find a solution for it. It isn’t the responsibilty of the partner who doesn’t want sex to pleasure the other one against their own comfort.
A pregnancy is nine months and any partner should accept that the other partner doesn’t want to have sex for nine months at most. The partner can think about himself by using his own hand in that time. No need to do something you absolutely don’t feel up to.
As the Former Neglected Partner I CANNOT COSIGN YOU ENOUGH! For reals that sh*t does a NUMBER on your self confidence and the connection, and your outlook on relationships in general, shoot Breaking up with someone that loves you and all that gushy stuff but with zero Intimacy and Zero work arounds and Zero attempts at improvements Honestly felt like a slow drowning
Are you me? It’s the main reason I’m getting divorced among a shit ton of other things I put up with for fifteen years too long. I have a lover now and I still have moments of surprise when he tells me I’m beautiful/sexy etc., Denying your needs is no way to go through life no matter how much you may care about your partner.
Couldn’t agree more Nikki!!! Very well said….
I don’t agree that pregnancy isn’t an excuse to not be intimate. It affects every woman differently. I know women that puked the entire 9 months requiring hospitalization with IVs. Some women get put on pelvic rest. For me, I felt like someone hit me in the crotch with a baseball bat. I could barely sleep in any position. I know it wasn’t easy on my husband, but it was much harder on me. Thankfully, he was understanding and things are back to normal now. Physical intimacy is important to us, but we both knew it was temporary. Now if we never had sex now that I’m not pregnant we would have to figure out what was going on with a check up or counseling.
@ Isa I cosign everything you said. Pregnancy really does effect each of us differently and even each pregnancy for the same woman is a different experience but it is a temporary situation. There is light in the tunnel so to speak.
Before my pregnancy I understood this point, but after I got pregnant and could not sit up in the bed for more than 5mins without getting sick, the constant vomiting and inability to move, the need to be unconscious (i.e. sleep) as the only relief, even after taking 300.00 a month pills for nausea, I felt so worthless as a woman, helpmate, wife and the disconnect with my hubby was emotionally painful. I can count on one hand the number of times we had sex my entire pregnancy, not because I was just being lazy but because I could barely sustain in waking hours– spent my days curled in a ball lying on the bed, switching positions every hour. My hubby was amazing, honestly, if he would have cheated I would have understood but he stayed by me. He actually nurtured me and made me feel beautiful even though I knew us not being intimate was hard on him. It changed my opinion on this issue. Marriage, or relationships, like this, can endear these types of tribulations, if not, if he can’t understand that you are going through this experience then it speaks volumes to the character of the man married.
So you’re basically saying that people should be forced to have sex with their partner even if they don’t want to?
Amunetmaat- I’m sorry you had such a horrible time. I’m glad you have a good spouse. I know if my spouse was ever in pain or sick my sexual needs will take a backseat. He knew it was temporary. I can understand the pain it would cause if there If there was seemingly no reason as to why one of us wouldn’t want sex. But we would work through it together- talk about it, get a check up (may be caused by depression or hormonal imbalances) or couple’s counseling.
Okay, Nikki. You get pregnant and see how you feel. Most ladies: no problem. Sex is way better! I want more of it!
For some of us, though, it isn’t something to be done. I bled profusely – i.e., not just spotting – after sex during pregnancy. That’s over and above the regular physical pains. That’s over and above not feeling like I could move right. That’s over and above every way feeling wrong. That,s over and above needing to put my head in a toilet.
If a marriage or partnership can’t sustain itself without intercourse for a few months, one might suggest there’s something wrong with that relationship. What would you do if your partner were seriously ill? Suck it up, sweets, it’s sexy time? No. you wouldn’t.
From what Whitney is saying, it is not a libido issue for her, it’s a body image issue. She thinks fat=unsexy and that’s why she doesn’t want to have sex or even have her husband look at her while pregnant.
The only time I had any drive at all during my pregnancies was with my daughter and I wasn’t allowed to have intercourse after about 14 weeks because of complications. So that sucked. With my sons, I was so terribly ill with morning sickness and had no energy that I couldn’t even imagine having sex.
I don’t think I had sex at all after the first month or two of my pregnancies.
I just didn’t feel like it and my husband was irrationally concerned about his penis being so close to the baby lol.
It didn’t really bother us to wait.