I was waiting for this, I was waiting to hear the next chapter in Ben Affleck’s cool chick/girlfriend rollout. Lindsay Shookus is the one who managed to climb to the top of the flying monkey heap, by sheer force of will and accommodation. She’s the one who managed to get some pap strolls as Ben needed an out to his marriage that didn’t involve actual confrontation on his part. And she’s the one he’s vacationing with in remote places where he hopes not to be recognized. Affleck and Shookus are in Maine for a little getaway after he finished wrapping Justice League. This trip also comes after his promotional duties at Comic-Con a little over a week ago, where Affleck swore he was still going to play Batman, despite rumors to the contrary. Rumors which likely center around his reliability, the fact that he’s not in physical shape for the role (I’m sorry but it’s true) and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have remained sober after his trip to rehab earlier this year. I guess we have confirmation of that, because Affleck was spotted at a liquor store while in Maine. In fact he went there two days in a row. Even People magazine is reporting this. However a post on Facebook, a photo of Affleck taken by an employee of the liquor store on his second day there, was removed, as was a photo she snuck of him on his first day, which she posted to Twitter. (Remember how that Uber story about him being spotted with a blonde was deleted?) He was just buying the booze for Lindsay though right? People also has some insider quotes about Affleck and Shookus’s summer plans.
Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus’s summer of love continues.
The Oscar winner, 44, and his new girlfriend, 37, were spotted out on vacation in Maine over the weekend.
“He recently wrapped filming on Justice League and is enjoying his summer,” a friend of Affleck’s tells PEOPLE.
Another source adds, “He also really enjoys spending time with Lindsay. It won’t be surprising to see them out and about and together in the coming weeks.”
The duo were spotted together on Sunday at a liquor store, where the actor posed for a picture with store employee Jenna Noyes, who posted the photo on Facebook, captioning it, “Met Ben Affleck at work today.” She has since deleted the post.
Affleck and the Saturday Night Live producer visited the same store the day before. Noyes later posted a screenshot of security footage on Twitter in another post that has since been deleted. She captioned, “The one time I don’t look up at the customer AT ALL.”
It’s not clear for whom they were buying the alcohol. In March, Affleck revealed in a Facebook post that he had completed treatment for alcohol addiction…
A friend of the actor tells PEOPLE that Affleck is “committed to bettering himself and continues to stay on his path of wellness and spends time with his family.”
Even Affleck’s publicist/the “friend of the actor” is phoning it in. I shouldn’t be so cynical, it’s entirely possible that Affleck was buying the booze for Shookus. Either way, he thought he wouldn’t get busted at a liquor store. He could have sent her in to buy their booze (or her booze, although that scenario is doubtful). Shookus isn’t that recognizable, only hardcore gossips like us would know who she is. Instead Affleck went in with her like it’s not a big deal. Hundreds of millions are riding on this guy’s sobriety and he can’t maintain it, isn’t bothering to hide it, and is likely justifying that to himself. It’s sad and honestly, as someone who has been sober over a year now, I would rather feel like this, and think this clearly, than live with the drinking every day and have all that money. I don’t mean to sound fatalistic, and my life wasn’t the worst when I drank. I didn’t black out, I didn’t lose anything tangible, but my relationships suffered, I was a much more negative person, and life was bleaker. It’s so much nicer waking up and not worrying how sh-tty you’re going to feel, and not having those few moments, before you sit up and feel the pain, when you’re trying to remember how much you drank the night before. That’s priceless.
photos are ones you’ve already seen from Backgrid
Mess. I’m legitimately worried for this dude. His father died of alcoholism right?
I’m pretty sure his dad is still alive. However, I believe he wasn’t that available during his childhood because he was an alcoholic. According to Wikipedia his dad is some sir of sober counselor now.
I think Tim Affleck is still alive, but he was definitely troubled presence in his young sons’ lives.
Every time I see that picture, i think it’s Brooklyn Decker.
She wishes…Brooklyn would be offended.
Every time I see that picture I can’t believe Ben is letting his chick struggle with 2 big bags?
Only twice?
One thing in his defense I believe his downward spiral began with taking steroids to get in shape for Batman. So I think the studio does have a part in his destruction. Maybe that’s part of why they won’t outright dump him.
I never heard that but he does indeed look like he has developed some gynecomastia from steroid use.
Gynecomastia can also be a symptom of liver disease.
I like it when you guys mention stuff I have to google.
man boobs. There ya go, cb. Don’t say I never did nothin for ya!
lol! https://media.giphy.com/media/baJms5FedlKxy/giphy.gif
The studio didn’t make him take steroids. There are other healthier ways to build muscle fast. That was Affleck’s brilliant idea.
Make him of course not look the other way sure why not
he took the steroids himself, because he wanted results fast and because he’s a lazy fuck. I think of course nobody from the studios would tell him to stop, they wanted the results as fast as he did, if not even more. But is all on himself. The studios of course is putting pressure on him, and he obviously can’t handle it.
I am not endorsing steroids, but they are not the “lazy” man’s route to muscles. You literally still have to work your butt off in the gym to see any results. The results you get tend to be bigger, more bubbly/round muscles which are what most bodybuilders are trying to achieve.
And yes, you get stronger on steroids, see baseball batting averages.
Not a shortcut, but definitely more bang for your buck.
Yes, it was his choice. Sure, there is pressure on all celebrities to look good before a movie, especially if it is an action hero movie. That is the life he has signed up for the last two decades. Working out daily with a person trainer is not a big deal in return for millions of dollars. Many of us with full-time 8+ hour job and other daily commitments find the time to get in some exercise without the major incentives. Hugh Jackman is older than Affleck and he works out hard for the body he has. I doubt he uses steroids or relies on any type of drugs or alcohol. Using that stuff causes a downward spiral. If you want to really be healthy, you have to work for it drug and alcohol free. Affleck’s soon-to-be ex-wife Jennifer Garner is a prime example of someone who looks great for her age by working out at the gym regularly. He’s too much of an idiot to ever realize that Garner’s type-A personality and on-point PR game helped him immensely, and that he will never get that type of assistance again from his side pieces. He’ll just blame Garner for always getting on his case because he’s a man baby who needs his wife to also be a mother to keep him clean and sober.
None of that Type-A personality and on-point PR game changed him or helped him in any way. It covered up what they didn’t want anyone to see. Yeah, let’s reward points to people who are as fake in their private lives as they are professionally.
I was with an addict for years. When you love the person, and know that the disease is causing many of the problems, you want to help that person fight to get well. There are small sober moments where they cry and plead for help, and try for a while, but ultimately fall back into it, unless they get to the desperate place they are willing to do whatever it takes and not give up. When you are the partner, you fight with them and for them, time and again because you see how they are being savaged by their own addiction, until you finally realize that you have to be free because it just spirals worse each time and you reach YOUR bottom. I didn’t share with the public what was going on – it wasn’t their business. My friends and family knew. That was enough. It isn’t fake. It’s privacy.
He didn’t have to take the steroids or the part!
He looks rough. If I were Jen, I’d be so relieved to be rid of him. She can have him. What a prize. 🙄
Except…still the father of those children. Better for them to have a father, even if divorced from their mother, who is healthy. And if he’s at least a 2nd-gen alcoholic, they’re going to have to figure out how to inoculate those children as they get older.
Yeah. Its not Jens responsibility but she cant be happy about this.
I don’t think this makes her happy at all. She loved him once and they have children together.
If I had children with an alcoholic, my main concern would be the future chances that my children will also become alcoholics. The best thing she can do for her kids is to keep him at bay while he isn’t sober. She did the right thing by having him stay at the guest house. I would not want my children exposed to an alcoholic. I have met alcoholics who were exposed to alcohol very early on in their childhoods by their own fathers. For all the flack that Garner gets for being the real life “Amazing Amy”‘, she is a good mother who at least gave her kids some stability while their father was off hooking up with randoms, gambling, and drinking.
kibbles I agree with you about keeping an alcoholic out of the house. I was referring to her being happy about it. It isn’t healthy to watch their mother enable him or make excuses for him. I like Lainey but she frames things without the deeper human angle because that isn’t her thing. The Amazing Amy nickname is There is never any negative rumors about her devotion to her children. Other mothers talk about what a good mother she is. I think her weak spot was loving a loser and having children with him. I didn’t like them using the children to drive a narrative.
Agreed. He’s no prize.
At this point it’s not Jen’s job to save him. He needs to do that himself. She spent her marriage trying to help him with his demons and he vilified her for it. Hence why he’s with someone that is clearly drinking with him when he should be sober.
What she needs to do is keep her kids away from him if he cannot be sober.
I think threatening to take away his kids if he doesn’t clean up his act would be a good motive for him…
Its not even about him though its about the kids. He shouldn’t be around them drunk
I think that ALREADY happened? I mean the timing for his rehab and then filing for divorce without lawyers and both mirroring each other’s filing could indicate that Jennifer put as a condition that the should go to rehab to then file and spare him the humiliation of not getting shared custody of his kids because of his addiction. I think she waited for him, he did the minimum stink in rehab just to get the shared custody and now he’s back at it again. Garner probably tried so many times to help him, not only because she loves hi but because he’ll always be the father of her kids, so kudos to her for putting aside the cheating humiliation and try to help him for the kids sake.
@ Nope : Threatening to take his kids away unless he stays sober won’t work. It never does. My dad lost years with his kids and it never stopped his alcoholism. Addiction is an evil thing. And the new girlfriend seems to be the perfect enabler.
His kids should not be around him when he’s drunk or stoned. Ben and Casey witnessed their father’s alcoholism and look how they turned out. If he loses years with his kids because he won’t sober up, then that’s his loss. People need to stop enabling him and that includes Jen making things easy for him to see his kids while he’s intoxicated.
It’s Ben’s choice if he’s going to drink or stay sober. If he chooses booze over his kids, then so be it. It’s his life and these are his decisions. I agree with the posters who say that these young kids have been exposed to god-knows-what kind of addict behavior already and that needs to stop. Jen doesn’t continue to let him come around “for the kids” — she does it for herself and because she can’t quit enabling him.
@Audrey. He’s their father. He can come around his kids. That is his right as a parent. Until there is a Brad Pitt event, she likely cannot legally keep him from them. So, by being friendly and inviting him to come along, she is at least present and able to monitor the situation and pull the kids to safety if necessary. It isn’t enabling him – it’s actually creating a safe place for the kids to be around him in the moments he is sober. I don’t know what state you live in that the laws allow one parent to control access like that, but I am in Texas and you can’t. I believe it’s also very much a 50/50 state in California, and they frown on one parent keeping the other away without huge cause (again, Brad Pitt-event sized).
It was like the more she tried the more he resented her for it. I do think Ben was really in love with her at some point, and may have seen her as his “savior”, but is way too self-destructive to maintain his feelings for her. I wish Jen would ignore him, outside of stuff about the kids obviously. It would defiantly shock Ben I think. Just hard core ignore and not react to anything he does.
What evidence is there that they aren’t already ignoring each other? They sat near each other on July 4 but that’s it. They stayed in separate houses in the Bahamas. It seems as though they are already tolerating each other’s presence for the kids. I honestly don’t think either one cares what the other is doing at this point. I highly doubt Ben would be shocked if Jen started to ignore him — he has obviously moved on and is not checking for her.
Oh come on. Getting papped at jen’s favorite restaurant with his girlfriend, and than her reaction by getting papped there a few days later with Chelsea Handler? They defiantly aren’t “over” their mutual resentment/anger.
They have been going to that restaurant for years. It is obviously a favorite place for both of them. Who cares? Not a big deal. And there is no “a” in definitely.
Why why why do people like you get so invested in this stuff that you patrol comment sections to ensure your favorite celebrities are properly defended. Is there an “a” in *sshole?
Why why why do people like you get so invested in stuff that you patrol comments sections to ensure that your least favorite celebrities are being properly trashed? I told you about your spelling error because you repeated it. It’s really unnecessary to call me an asshole. People who aren’t very intelligent resort to name-calling and cursing when they don’t have any other defense.
Well, I guess I will never be a rocket surgeon. Your right. I give up.
Oops. “You are”.
ooooh maybe if Jen ignores Ben his feelings will be HURT and he’ll realize the mistakes he’s making and return to her to beg forgiveness. What are you, 12? He banged the kids’ nanny. He brought his longterm mistress out in public. He is done with Jen and has been for years. He wishes she would ignore him but she’s a stage 5 clinger when it comes to him and is still hanging on.
I have no dog in this fight, but what on earth in the last comment is supposed to make anyone think better of Ben?
Ahhhh… true reason for bachelor-hood. Must. Drink. Sans. Nag.
His face is so bloated and red. He looks like he’s drinking regularly again. I don’t care for the guy but I can’t help feeling sorry for him either. Addiction is a hell of a thing.
He does look bloated and sweaty/greasy. Ick.
Yes, he looks like shit!!!
She looks kind of rough in that first pic too…
This is why his sources dropped the “She’s free to drink if she wants to” thing. So he can claim that he’s sober and it’s just her that’s drinking.
It’s frustrating to watch him self-destruct from where I’m sitting and I don’t even know him. I can’t imagine what his close friends and family must be thinking and feeling.
Aren’t people with addictions counseled to avoid others who partake of the substance, i.e. avoid hanging out with others who drink, bars, etc? In which case, he’s a) not following rehab advice b) putting himself into a situation of irresistible temptation c) involved with someone who is likely aware of all of this and not abstaining … maybe having a drinking problem herself.
The most probable outcome is he’s drinking. What a shame.
Not just avoid people drinking but also avoid dating altogether for a year, I believe.
Yep and not to date for a year because you don’t want to replace one addiction for another.
I actually can’t think of a worse situation for an alcoholic shaky in their recovery than visiting a liquor store. In a bar they will usually cut you off at some point/you have other people around but a liquor store? Holy crap. Also, who goes through enough wine/liquor in one day between two people that they need to restock? If it’s just her drinking (it’s not) then she has a serious alcohol problem.
People places and things. (Btw, for anyone who lives in New York, there will be an amazing play on the subject at St Ann’s Warehouse in the autumn, with Denise Gough who is utterly fantastic).
@KB +1 Also, E! Online is already adding the fluff around this complete with “isn’t this cute cause we’re telling you they’re cute” video. >eye roll< Are their readers that stupid? Legit question. This is sad. I have friends who are in recovery for as long as 11 years. Even now they would not go to a liquor store. This is a hell of a thing for his loved ones to witness. Deeply sad.
Wow. Pretty sad, tbh. I have no snarkiness for this.
What a mess. I don’t think he’ll be playing Batman again.
I feel so bad for his kids.
He reportedly just signed on for a Batman trilogy.
No that’s not true?
http://batman-news.com/2017/07/31/ben-affleck-batman-trilogy-beyond-rumor/
nope. apparently he did not
http://batman-news.com/2017/07/31/ben-affleck-batman-trilogy-beyond-rumor/
He looks like the north end of a horse going south. It seems like she’s enabling him, which of course an alcoholic isn’t going to say no to. I hope he can get some help and pull out of this.
Congrats on 365 days (or so?) of sobriety. Congrats seems like such a small word for such a huge achievement. Here is to waking & walking in clarity…
Thanks! 399!
Yes- congrats CB! Always getting sober is huge but my brain went to not picking up this Nov, then Jan and on is quite the accomplishment. Kudos to the good work.
Thanks for sharing your story, @CB! Just keep swimming. 🙂
Congratulations CB on 399 and 400 tomorrow!!! I have a friend struggling with alcohol right now. She isn’t a sloppy drunk and doesn’t go out to drink. She is a Mom of 4 and it is how she seems to cope with all of the demands while still remaining pleasant. She will start drinking in the evening and it has gone from one glass of wine to a whole bottle and I’ve noticed it creeps in earlier in the day sometimes. She is a wonderful person and so giving. She has reached the point where she is facing that it might be a problem, but I think facing the problem and knowing how to take the first step is exhausting for someone who is already at her limit. She knows she can count on me for moral support but I think she will probably have to get worse before she decides to get professional help. I appreciate your words and your journey and I am hoping she will be able to share a similar story with the same self awareness, honesty, and outcome!
Oh Capella. Your friend’s story resonates so much. I wish her success. Sometimes we have to love ourselves, and that is the hardest step to take for a person who is giving everything to other people.
Thank you Tina … You are so right! Loving herself will be the first step.
Came here to say the same thing. CB, thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations!
Super hugs and kisses, CB! Keep moving forward.
This 1000% one day at a time!
Me, too. The two take-aways from this post were that Affleck looks awful (which is sad) and that you have been sober for a year, which is inspiring. Thank you for sharing that with us so we could all give you props.
She probably has issues too, addicts tend to gravitate towards each other. What a sad situation 🙁
Wonder where they are in Maine. That would reveal a little bit about where his head is at.
I’m in maine… He’s probably on the coast or near a lake. So many celebs vacation here it’s just not something most notice anymore.
I used to live in Hampden and Orono… where are you, FLORC?
Near UMF! Lol not far from there, but the drive… My brother went to UMO!
I know! I live here and I’m scouring the article to see if I missed the name of the town. Maine is pretty big for anyone who doesn’t know!
They were in Naples on Sebago Lake. I am also in Maine and yes people just don’t realize how big this State is. It is a 5 hour drive for me to get to NH.
So many mainers… I’d summer at sebago lake!
Congrats on your sobriety Celebitchy!
As the child of an alcoholic, I do feel sorry for Ben and his family, I wouldn’t wish this pain and hurt on anyone.
This story just confirms what everyone suspected about Lindsay being the party girl. It is highly doubtful she is drinking alone, and if she is, doesn’t say much for her support of Ben’s sobriety.
@pk perfectly said. 100% Doesn’t say much for her support of his sobriety or for her own character and self-respect.
Ben’s sobriety is his own, as is Lindsay’s. Everyone has to take responsibility for themselves.
Ben’s been an alcoholic for years. What does it say about Jen Garner’s character and self-respect to stand by and watch that for 10+ years?
I’m not a fan of Garner, but addiction is a family disease meaning it makes everyone sick in the process. I’m sure he was sober with her at times which reinforced the idea that she was helping him. Until you have experienced this yourself, you have no room to judge.
If you bothered to read through the comments on this post and others, you would see that many of us HAVE lived with addicts. It takes a special kind of enabler to make excuses for 10+ years and three band-aid kids.
I had over 10 years and 3 kids with my ex. In the midst of the bad, there were periods of sober, and those are the ones that you think will be the new future, until it isn’t. When I realized that the pattern was not going to change ever, I walked away with the kids. When you love the person with the addiction, you always have hope this sober time will stick. Until you reach the end of your own line and know that you have turned every stone and can do no more. We all have a different place for where our line comes up.
Every case is different so we have no right to judge why JG stayed for 10 years.
Sorry, redundant.
Wasn’t Ben sober whey they married?
I’m not sure when he fell of the wagon, but I don’t think it was the entire ten years of their marriage.
Like many alcoholics, he is his own worst enemy. He chooses to drink instead of being a good parent.
Good work, CB. Wishing you well.
Congratulations on your sobriety!
He just can’t bear to be away from her, can he? Just back from JL reshoots presumably and he’s taken her away on vacation? The booze could have been for other people or something that they were going to. Looks like Shookus paid. Not a big deal IMO.
He didn’t find a new girlfriend, he found a new enabler.
I honestly think significantly less of her if she is allowing an alcoholic to socially drink with her.
I agree.
I think less of her too.
The new girl doesn’t ALLOW him to do anything. She can’t control him. Jen can’t control him. Ben needs to control himself. Stop blaming other people for BEN’S behavior. The buck stops with him.
@Audrey, well said.
“Allowing an alcoholic to socially drink with her. ” Allowing? Sorry, but I must respectfully disagree here. She could say no or walk away, but she is not responsible for him picking up a glass and drinking. It is up to the addict to control their behaviour, not expect everyone else to control theirs around him. Yes, it is much harder when those around are participating, but it’s still up to the addict to say yes or no.
Allow may be a poor choice of words, but allow in her presence is slightly better.
If he wants to drink he will, I’m not the type of person who blames a woman for a mans failing, but in this case he is sick and she is not supporting him, she’s enabling. By not walking away, she is enabling.
If this was a stranger, or an aquaintance, they owe him nothing. I would agree 100%. But this is a partner.
If you are hanging out with an addict you DO NOT encourage them to continue with their vice, and you don’t partake with them. She knows full well Affleck is an alcoholic. Drinking with him and purchasing alcohol with him in any way is enabling his addiction, is feeding his disease, is literally killing him. There is responsibility there, the bulk is on him because he’s self destructing, but theres anough to go around. He’s killing himself and she’s encouraging it.
Addicts are looking for a reason why they should partake, Shookus is giving him a reason.
Maybe my history with the illness is colouring this, but it is incredibly easy for people to push an addict into a relapse.
Most likely she is also an addict. Who is enabling who?
I like that argument, lipreng. I’m assuming she’s not, and really that’s a big assumption. Who’s with an addict most often? I’d assume other people with similar issues.
Congratulations CB on a year of sobriety! Legit trying not to happy cry for you right now. Hugs!!
Thank you I love you guys.
I would think a top movie star could do a little better then that
And I crushed on him hard in Armagedon (sp).😞
This is what baffles me: Affleck has been a public figure long enough and had enough experience with had profile relationships to know that posing on a liquor store for a selfie won’t lead to good press. Why did he do it? was he already drunk enough to give a flying f*ck? or he just let go of everything? because, let aside his personal problems, this picture is the complete opposite of what Warner Bros. is probably asking him: get in shape, get sober, do the f*cking movie and if it does well, you can get the Batman cape. It looks like he’s self sabotaging his career, just as he did with his marriage. He’s pushing Wbros to fire him as Batman, just like he pushed Garner to file for divorce by openly cheating. Like this dude is almost unable to make those decisions (leave the role, leave the marriage) by himself, and he just openly behaves in a way others will be force to take those decisions for him
If WB is concerned about his sobriety, they will have him piss in a cup. They aren’t going to fire him because he was photographed in a liquor store.
funny you mentioned because I think that’s exactly what they did, and he failed…hence WB dropping him first as a director, then as a writer, now non other than THR is reporting they want to “gently” let him go as an actor.
I know this is the unpopular opinion but honestly if Ben wants the drink and throw it all away then so be it.
He has been to rehab a number of times. He had a wife bending over backwards to aid him. I am sure there others eager to assist him with his struggles over the years. He has the resources to get true and meaningful help. And yeah millions ride on his sobriety but dude can take a time out if he needed to.
At this point Ben is making is decisions. They maybe foolish and drunken decisions but they are his. And he isn’t running from Lindsay, at least not yet.
If he wants to piss it all away well so be it.
I feel for his kids but they have a strong mother. As long as they are shielded they’ll get through this.
I agree with you. I’m over the shock and awe over every move that he makes. He’s living the life that he wants to and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.
I’ve been far from a Garner apologist and certainly not her biggest fan I actually stay quite critical towards her use of PR games and stuff, but one think I have to givi it her, specially as it unveils Affleck’s addiction problems, is that she’s been holding it together for her kids. I truly don’t know how she does it, with Affleck going public with his mistress and looking a drunk mess just weeks after the divorce filing.
My dad worked with him on Pearl Harbor and said he was a drunk mess (and my dad liked to party hard as well). I feel really awful for his kids, I’m sure at this point he’s floating in and out of their lives whenever he feels like it. I hope Jen is talking to a lawyer about visitation and stuff. I honestly don’t know if it’s worse to not have your dad around or have him floating in and out whenever he feels like 🙁
No matter what his people spin, he’s off the wagon and his kids are paying the price :/
I hope there are severe limitations on his driving them.
I don’t think he is even allowed to drive himself anywhere anymore–seriously.
He’s had a chauffeur the last several dates with Lindsay. I’m guessing Jennifer Garner has considered this and dealt with it already in some form of agreement.
The photos are still up of him there at the store on Perez HIlton. There’s the one of Ben posing with the clerk. There’s another one from the security camera of Ben standing next to Lindsay as she pays for the wine. She’s in a tight dress, hair up.
Ben doesn’t have a red face in that photo. In fact, his skin tone is actually fine. He still has a big face, yet his body is slimming down in the photo with the clerk. I know he had filler like a year-and-a-half ago or two years ago. I felt that was gone and that this year I thought maybe it was all the weight gain changing his face and drinking. Although, he’s been drinking at least since the Argo promotion/Oscar period and still looked like Ben in the face, not some big, bloated face. And losing weight and still having a big face, this leads me to believe he still has some filler in his face. He needs to try to get it taken out, have it dissipated like Courtney Cox did. It changes his face so much. His eyes look strange, swollen. I thought back when he and Lindsay debuted their relationship they had an odd puffiness. I think he’s had laser or a peel around his eyes and they are still swollen.
And, yes, he’s still drinking. At the least, I hope he isn’t as bad as when he had a huge alcoholic meltdown over the Christmas period when his movie bombed and landed him with a sober coach and rehab.
Even though, he’s getting back in shape, if his face stays a mess, he’s out for Bruce Wayne/Batman. Gone is the chiseled face he had.
This chick seems like a real enabler. I agree. She stuck around long enough during the separation that she won out over whoever else he went out with. No man is separate for years and not dating. He just kept it private , which was better for the kids and letting nannygate die down. But the woman who thinks she won I don’t think sees him as having a drinking problem. I believe the Skinny Girl maragritas were for her.
Maybe she was buying the bottles of wine all for herself. I doubt it. Even if that is true, drinking bottles of wine in front of an alcoholic trying to stay sober is someone who doesn’t want them to be sober. Although, I think he’s drinking again anyway. Even if he has toned down the drinking, rationalizing he can keep it in check, that is only temporary. It will escalate to more glasses and more glasses to bottles of wine or whatever he’s drinking.
Some liver issues can puff/bloat your face, even if the rest of you is “normal”.
Thanks I went over to Perez and looked. Two bottles of Rose and a bottle of Skinny Girl Margarita (blechh). Looks like Lindsay was paying.
Lindsay seems like the Cool Girl incarnate–won’t guilt you about gambling, because hey she loves Vegas too and will go with you! Won’t guilt you about drinking, hey let’s hit the liquor store and stock up! Won’t guilt you about not spending enough time with your kids, because when you’re together she isn’t with her kid either!
This is so sad. He’s clearly an alcoholic and Jennifer tried desperately hard to help him.
I have exactly zero insider Affleck knowledge, just generally informed speculation via generalization and gossip history. Many people in positions of power think that the ordinary rules don’t apply to them; that they’re different, aka better than, from the “regular” folks in recovery. Based on (public) info regarding Affleck’s previous recoveries, he rarely, if ever, stopped drinking completely, believing unspecified other things (almost certainly harder drugs), to be the “real” problems. Drinking and gambling have, at times, subsided for Affleck, but from what has been publicly disclosed, rarely ceased. This has “I can handle it” narcissistic self-delusion written all over it. And I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised if he thought that staying in and drinking wine, or beer, or whatever to “not really” be a problem, as long as he doesn’t also do ______, which he sees as the “real issue.”
I’m blessed not to struggle with addiction, but I know many who have, including family members. It’s insidious, devastating and never cured, only managed. I also believe that there are people who may not be “addicts,” per se, in a strictly chemical sense, but need rehab to get their lives back on track after a period of being out of control that included reliance on various substances (alcohol, drugs, etc), and may, once recovery is complete, be able to partake occasionally safely and without issue of relapsing into past behavior patterns. Based on historical evidence it seems unlikely that Ben Affleck falls into the latter category.
I wouldn’t say I have sympathy for him, per se (oh the poor pampered movie star), but I do at least have some first-hand knowledge of how being THE star — and Affleck, whatever you think about him, IS personally responsible for a lot of other people’s livelihoods — comes with a lot of enabling “help” to keep on going, keep on making money, no matter what the personal cost. Can he work? Where do we have to get him so he can work? … Is often the mantra. Not, SHOULD he work? After all, in the end, he’s a product first, person second. And, again, I get that he’s made tens of millions and got himself into the mess in the first place so, yeah, no violins for Ben, just pointing out that getting him well, almost certainly comes second to getting him able to perform.
He is going to have to lose it all to gain some clarity. His career is the next stack of chips he has to anti up. Loss or respect/success professionally might be his bottom. Losing his wife and family certainly weren’t .
It has taken my husband years of therapy to peel the onion and understand that exterior validations mean next to nothing. They don’t make you a man. Seeking validation of your wothiness is something men without fathers often do. Women validate them, money validates them, material possessions validate them, but it’s all just a temporary salve. The pain is still there. It never ceases to exist.
We give JayZ a ton of shit on here but at least he explores his faults and owns them. Ben is a piece of work. He seems to have zero interest in understanding himself. It’s awful to watch.
He didn’t lose his wife. He, like many other couples, fell out of love with Jennifer. They had problems, whoever’s fault the problems were, Ben’s LOL. But half the celebrities we read about are divorced or on their second divorce. They still love their children. The marriage ended. Jen just hung on and hung on. Ben stayed out of guilt for the kids more than likely. She’s the one that wouldn’t let go for years as his behavior escalated.
But let’s not pretend he lost the love of his life due to drinking. All he ever said about her was she’s a great mother. No Hugh Jackman type accolades for Jennifer ever, the way Hugh is about his wife. And Jennifer stated in Vanity Fair her eyes were wide open the whole marriage. She has her own set of problems, that being she liked being married to Ben and so kept having babies and dealt with his infidelities and addictions, but became the mother figure in the relationship, which eventually creates resentment.
Even if Ben wasn’t drinking, I don’t think anyone on here believes he would have stayed married to Jen. They have put a lot of effort into co-parenting. I do commend them for that. She said in VF that their marriage didn’t last, but that they were on the same page as far as the children. She’s obviously tried to help him even after breaking up for the sake of the children. She has stated the children adore their father. But while her support, for the sake of the kids, even after breaking up, is nice, only Ben can fix his problems.
I dont think you haveto be with a great love to have a great marriage. In fact too often, a great love is usually doomed. The only question you should ask is, did they have the ingredients for a great marriage. I.e. Common goals, some shared interests, mutual respect and commitment to making it work. I think Jen was on board on these four pillars and it took her a long time to realise that he was failing in the last two. I think his addictions were what confused her. When someone is ill, you assume that once he is cured, the old him will return. So she hang in there waiting for him to heal and he never did.
@Jayna – I agree with every one of your points.
So much for rehab.
I think he’s suffering from some serious emotional disorders – his addictive behaviour is a symptom of a much more deep-rooted affliction. People who have these types of disorders (Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic) often suffer from emotional arrested development because of a traumatic childhood event – i.e. parents going through an ugly divorce, alcoholism, abuse, etc. and it’s almost like they stop developing emotionally in their teens. My sister had Borderline and Narcissistic PD and eventually drank and eating-disordered herself to death. They need constant attention and ego-stroking because they don’t have a strong sense of self-esteem – validation has to come externally. It’s a debilitating condition that hurts everyone around them.
Sympathy to you for your sister, Jaded, I know it’s very hard to see someone you love harming themselves.
Can a Cluster B (BPD) really love someone? He does not care about anything or anyone … the BPD is trying to fill a hole that can not be filled. Of course that flying monkeys do not help at these times.
Congrats, Celebitchy. Wishing you continued peace, clarity, energy…all the things I rediscovered after I quit drinking, too!
I doubt she doesn’t know about his struggles with sobriety. What kind of moral compass does she have that she’s ok with even drinking around him (assuming the alcohol is for her and not him)?
I mean…we already know her moral compass is wonky given I firmly believe they messed around while both were married.
Not absolving him of responsibility but addiction isn’t something people should take lightly. He needs someone who supports him, not makes it harder for him…
Guessing Jen was that person and he couldn’t hack it so he screwed it up. Seems to be his MO.
Congratulations Celebitchy and here’s to more clear-headed, clear-eyed time in your life…all good and healthy things lie ahead!
I always get the feeling that Ben started resenting Jen a LONG time ago–way before they finally went their separate ways. He barely tried to hide it and never looked happy to be with her.
Still can’t get over how much he and Lyndsay look alike and have the same goofy, gaping smile.
No wonder Jen continues the shared family vaycays. In her position I would grit my teeth and do it too if it meant that I could keep an eye on if he was drunk/ make sue the kids weren’t exposed to it. I know she did all that stuff for his (and her) image for a long time but at this point maybe it is more about making sure that the kids aren’t around Ben when he is drunk or hungover. If so, then kudos to Jen. She still has to share custody with him after all.
It’s more Jen enabling. If his kids aren’t safe in his care, she needs to tell a family court judge and restrict his visitation until he gets his act together. He NEVER will at this rate because Jen will always be right there, making sure things are easy for him.
It is still Jen’s fault no what matter what she does.
It’s not her fault but it is her responsibility to make sure that her kids are safe and not exposed to their drunk, stoned father.
@Iris, I don’t think legally you can keep a parent away, unless there has been a significant event (see Brad Pitt) that brings in social services. Unless he is proven to be unfit, he’ll get 50/50 with them. Jen probably has to walk a fairly fine line on that to give him enough access that he is ok and doesn’t push more.
I read yesterday that Tiger Woods’ custody agreement was 50/50, but that if he did something scandalous again, he loses 20% of that, getting 30% instead of half. He’s been a horrible mess and would still get 30%.
How do you know that she doesn’t have things in place to keep her children in safe? There are a lot of behind the scenes that are going on that all of us here are not aware. She will make it easy for her kids as they love their father. From my perspective, she works it for her kids safety.
Actually if a parent proves to be impaired often and is unable to maintain consistent sobriety, the courts can absolutely take custody away. I’m sure there have been “events” behind the scenes that we have only heard hints of. Who returns from a luxury holiday in Montana and requires a sober coach?
Iris, I don’t think she is enabling. I think she is being a responsible parent. He clearly has no interest in parenting without a nanny or Jennifer present. I think it is time to stop blaming Jen for being kind.
Enabling behavior can look like being kind. By making it easy for him to see his kids on HIS (drunk, irresponsible) terms, he doesn’t have to get well. Why should he? Jen will be “kind”, look the other way and put on a happy face. It’s classic enabling.
That’s backwards – he sees the kids on HER terms – sober and with others present. Is that any different than the Brad Pitt scenario where he could only see the kids with the counselor in the room? That was enabling somehow? No, it was providing a space place for the kids to see their dad.
Are you dense? He’s not sober.
Rita, how do you know he is currently seeing the kids? I would not think he is unless he shows up sober.
Just wondering, where’s her BABY?
Probably with her DAD! Just like Ben’s three babies are probably with their MOM!
They are prime examples as to why everyone is not meant to be a parent. Just because most humans can procreate doesn’t mean they should. These two were bumping uglies soon after Shookus gave birth and Garner was at home with small children. They are clearly very selfish people who did not care very much about their spouses nor took much responsibility for daily child rearing.
I’m so very sad about this. I really hope that he isn’t drinking again but I know that is not realistic. I’m still rooting for him. I always will. His children need him
Of course they were buying liquor, she’s the opposite of his nagging wife who wanted him to be sober and ya know, a present father for his children. He can let loose with Lindsey, for now anyway. It’s all fun and games until one of them needs to be responsible, then he’ll move onto the next.
I know people say that you shouldn’t hate on “the other woman,” and I promise that I have no bad feelings towards Lindsay Shookus and her part in the affair. I really don’t. Ben Affleck is as much to blame as she is on that front.
But it pisses me off that a person who is likely fully aware of someone else’s vices and addictions is completely unconcerned with helping them out and putting them on the straight and narrow. It’s clear that Shookus is more concerned right now with being “the chill girlfriend” (aka the Cool Girl) as opposed to “the shrew” that Jennifer Garner was probably being characterized as (because don’t you know that expecting your husband and the father of your children to NOT be an alcoholic is CLEARLY nagging).
Whatever said and done about Jen, the truth is that while she might have been a doormat, Lindsay Shookus is a doormat of an entirely different variety. At least Jennifer Garner had standards for what she wanted out of him, and she made sure that he knew what those were. What can you say about a woman who wants to be with a man and please him so badly that she completely avoids all conflict, to the point of enabling and likely encouraging a dangerous addiction that’s already been responsible for decimating Ben’s own childhood? How badly does she want to be with Ben Affleck that she doesn’t give a f*ck about how self-destructive he is and that he likes her because she doesn’t confront him about his self-destructive behaviour? How much are you debasing yourself that you’re willing to be with a man who’s like that, even though you and everyone around you knows that you deserve SO much better?
It is true, A. Agree 100% It is hard for me to imagine that she is that dazzled by him to turn a completely blind eye to what is happening to him. Yes, addicts are amazing manipulators. I dated and alcoholic for many years, my eldest brother was a drug addict and my husband’s father was an alcoholic. Amazing manipulator doesn’t even cut it. And add in a little bit of charm and good looks. Forget it. But does she deserve much better? IF she is willing to sell out her own daughter and sit back and watch a man destroy himself and the lives of his children does she deserve better?
Or its possible that shes an addict herself.
Congratulations on 399 days of sobriety, CB. You’ve shown incredible strength and determination. Alcoholism is a disease I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Ben needs a hard intervention. Where are his good friends, like Matt? Or his mother? Or his father? I know it is up to the person himself/herself to own up to it but clearly, he is sick that he can’t really see anymore what is good for him. More especially now that he is with that woman who is clearly has the same vices as him. He needs to get better mentally.
This is sad and I hope that he gets help. I am wondering though, with all of his money, surely he has an assistant that could go out and get the booze for him? I am trying to figure out if that means the alcohol really wasnt for him? or It was for him and he’s too far gone to give a crap about how bad it looks or how much it will cost him in terms of his career. (I’m thinking that insuring him for a movie has to cost a fortune now)
He seems to have reached the point that he doesn’t care. He’s going to do what he wants to do. I also don’t know that he is thinking clearly about consequences. Addicts are great manipulators. Maybe part of his brain is still thinking he can control the narrative.
I agree with you both that Ben is past the point of caring.
His PR people still very much care given the fact the pictures of them buying the booze were deleted plus shortly after People and E online published stories about their “Maine vacation” . Somebody is caring about the narrative.
They prob sold their pics and an account of what happened to the tabloids who then asked them to take them down. The tabloids want people to view the photos on their websites, not go to instagram or facebook for the scoop.
I think its partly not giving a crap anymore, but also a smugness like “Who cares if Im seen in a liquor store, they cant prove I drank it”. I think that he thinks hes invincible. After all in his eyes his career has already survived through his infildelities. His brother was accused of sexual harassment and won an Oscar.
Congrats on your sobriety, CB!
I stopped drinking a year and a half ago, and the hardest part has been the social pressure. People don’t understand (in my case, it’s due to an inherited alcohol intolerance but I have alcoholism on both sides as well), and even though I wasn’t a big drinker, I’m surprised at how much it’s altered my social life.
Knowing that pressure, why anyone who cares about Ben would drink around him is beyond me.
Congrats! My husband has been sober for 39 years, very proud of him.
I’ve watched this scenario in my personal life – my mom’s partner of many years was an alcoholic, in and out of rehab. She finally had to look after herself, as Jennifer has likely had to choose to do as well. He found himself a new, enabling girlfriend and was back to drinking. Two years later, he died of his alcoholism. He had barely passed his 50th birthday.
Enews says that her friends and family were with them in Maine. He’s met them already? I wonder if her kid was there.
Enews clearly is his PR mouthpiece. They covered this vacay without 1 mention of the 2 visits to the liquor store. Portraying it as a totally new relationship etc. how lonely he was, huh? How they are so into each other they can not be separated for more than a few days – interesting when your respective children live on opposite coasts and you have work commitments
Perhaps the bottles of wine and liquor were gifts to your friends and family? … of course Enews , now I understand (rolled eyes) … it’s not!
Yikes at that ENews story! He has “felt alone for a long time”? Dude FFS, these type of quotes will get back to and be understood by at least two of your children (your daughters are old enough). I don’t care if you are happy for the first time in forever, STFU about it and think of your children’s feelings. Here’s the quote your “friend” can leak: We’re very happy. Period.
So ET put out a story just now with pictures of Jen and Ben’s mom walking arm-in-arm. His mom has gone through this with her ex, so I’m sure she has a pretty good perspective about Ben’s current state of mind and what’s going on (big picture). It’s good that she is showing such very public support for Jen.
I think Ben is just making his PR hole deeper and deeper in his attempts to fix the Lindsay debacle.
Also isn’t it funny how both those posts have been taken down/deleted of him in the liquor store…just like the post about him in the uber car.
Perez has the pics and a screen grab of the twitter of the surveillance camera pic.
I can imagine the owner of the liquor store was none too happy about an employee posting/selling security camera footage of a customer and also putting out in detail what they bought, even if he is a celebrity. It’s not exactly good PR for the liquor store, and it clearly crosses a line.
He doesn’t just have a physical addiction. In the photo where he’s smiling, it looks like he could just as easily cry. Too bad for his kids. Hope it doesn’t go to the next generation.
I think he’s struggling in some ways with depression along with his drinking, but maybe also a relief to finally have the marriage publically over, where he can live like a normal separated person, not everything on the downlow . I don’t think this is who he will end up with. She’s his enabler or someone who just likes to drink as much as he does. Once he hits the total bottom and gets serious about sobriety, he will move on.
Hopefully, he will get himself together. Jen was photographed with Ben’s mom today. So it looks like Jen and Ben are still co-parenting fine and she’s still friendly with his mom.
I just can’t figure out what he’s done to his eye that has caused the swelling under the right eye, but both eyes are puffy underneath and shiny. It’s on the photo above from a couple of weeks ago and it’s on the Perez Hilton photo of him with the liquor store clerk. I would say an eye job, except it’s obvious his upper lids aren’t different. Though, they’re puffy, too. That’s why I’m leaning towards laser or something he had done under his eyes for lines and there’s residual puffiness, especially on the left eye. My friend had something done to her eyes for lines or bags, and she had a weird swelling for several weeks, much like Ben’s. I’ve never seen his eyes like that, and I do believe it was some form of cosmetic surgery or procedure, and we’re still seeing the residual swelling.
I agree that he did something to his eyes that hasn’t healed yet. I hope that he gets his fillers dissolved.
With the issues Ben has, it is unlikely he will ever be in a healthy relationship. Of course, if he ever truly found sobriety and healing, maybe. But he doesn’t seem to care much about that (since his early 20’s, right?)
She has a fairly young kid. Does she ever see him now that she bagged a “star”?? Ben seems to see his kids more than she does.
He was last pictured with his kids on July 4th. She was just photographed with her daughter in NYC on July 20. So, no.
There is a life lived not in front of paps. We have no way of knowing anything about time spent with the children.
People are accusing this woman of “never” being with her daughter. Garner is the one who is still making a point to do the daily pap strolls, because they’re all she has. I was making a point.
You may not like the genre of movies Jen is in, but she does work. She is also strong in 2 commercial products. Maybe that’s enough for her? She wants to be with her kids, and does so. I wish I had that option – work a little and be with my kids more. I don’t doubt that they have used pap strolls mightily, but I don’t think they often call – because the paps clearly follow them around and camp outside their house.
The stroll with Ben’s Mom today is clearly done in front of paps deliberately to show solidarity. When she comes to church or is caught in a store, no I think not.
Zimbio has the full set of pics from today. It was a brief, 3 second hug that Jen initiates. She should focus on moving on with her life and not playing pretend with the paps. SHE’S the one who will likely never have a normal relationship ever again. She’s still clinging to the past.
I take it back. I didn’t realize Jen had been pap strolling. I thought she decided to lay low. Sigh.
Why does she do this? The stroll with his mother is just so staged.
These two truly deserve each other. I feel badly for their children.
Now we know what they have in common: alcohol.
Daily Fail has pics of thirsty Jen with Ben’s mom. *shakes head* She is so still hung up on him. It’s just SAD and pathetic. She’ll remain single, never date, and hang around like a dog waiting for him to settle for her (again).
Haha you completely missed what she was doing there didn’t you? It was really quite clever. And very telling about how Ben’s Mom feels.
Nah. You’re the one who completely missed it. Shockingly most the comments on DM are about how she’s still obsessed and calling the paps for staged photo ops and how desperate she looks.
What better way to shut down recent tabloid stories about Jens revenge tell all’s than to have an affectionate stroll with his mother! It tells the world there is peace there and not to expect any ugly tell all stories, right?
I didn’t look at it like that, a planned pap stroll, but it so is. How did I miss that? Look at me, I still have the mother-in-law, who adores me. It’s more a signal to Lindsay, than to Ben. You’d think he just left her or something. They’ve been split up for two-and-a-half years, official divorce papers filed in April. And she is acting like the just-jilted wife with this so obvious set-up pap photo, all huggy with Ben’s mom.
Ben with his over-sharing and selling Lindsay and Jen who is still so obsessed with Ben and her image with him, they’re both nuts, Ben and Jen, and why this relationship is always drama and fodder for the public. Ben and Jen never let the interest in them die. Other couples separate, live their lives, divorce, and don’t respond to stories created about it or about a new relationship . These two are still invested in how everything looks to the public for YEARS now.
The day after it was revealed that Ben met Lindsay’s family in Maine. Jen is just… next-level pathetic.
Ben’s mom was the original Jen. She exposed Ben and Casey to their father’s insane alcoholism for more than a decade before finally kicking him out. He took Casey and Ben to bars (where he “worked” and drank, according to Casey), they witnessed his alcoholic seizures, etc. Ben and Casey were both teenagers by the time he was finally made to hit the road but the damage was already done. Look how his boys turned out, both drunks themselves. Great mothering, Chris. And like most things, it’s a cycle that will repeat itself. Of course Jen and Chris get along, both couldn’t quit their alcoholic Affleck husbands. Did Chris ever get remarried? Prob still holds a torch for Ben’s dad.
Wow.
E News tonight said Ben & Lindsay were in Maine with her family and friends. So now we will think the liquor was just for her family and friends and not him? (Not)
Also did family include her daughter?
E also said that he & Jen would be having some summer vacations together and separately with the kids.
Well, to be fair, we know he wasn’t drinking the Skinny Girl Margarita Lindsay bought.
And Ben buying Rose wine for himself? Nope, I don’t see him as a Rose wine drinker. Do I think he is still drinking and had his choice of alcohol back at their hotel or condo? Yes. If they are with her friends/family, I can see that Lindsay was actually buying the rose wine for herself and her family, not Ben.
I do not know how it works where you are from but here in New York where I live even when it is an established fact that the one parent is in the midst of a very active addiction episode they can still see their kids. She has money so she can have the best private lawyers and I would bet behind closed doors there are contingencies in place about drinking and visitation. We were fortunate and had a good lawyer so we were able to get supervised visitation although he was at the moment involved in an active criminal investigation into his drug habits. The family court system is not logical or Fair. I’ve seen people who did not have money for a private lawyer and things did not go well for them. It is very easy to fall into the Mantra of don’t let him see the kids if he is drinking. He has money to and could easily take her to court if she withheld those children and he was so inclined to do so.
I’ve seen people who wish to adopt both siblings whose parents are both currently in jail and Rehab situations and it is taking a very long time and a huge amount of money to move forward with even attempting to adopt these children
It is not a simple thing to sever parental rights or limit visitation no matter how obvious it seems that it is necessary. The philosophy of a lot of family court judges is that just because one child is being abused does not mean the others are.
It is a very complicated situation although it should be quite simple. It should be if it’s not safe for the children sorry not this time but that is not how it works
Just my two cents but I think that if Brad Pitt wanted to see those kids he would be seeing those kids because the man has a lot of money and could easily hire a team of lawyers to hammer out a satisfactory custody arrangement.
It could be that Brad is doing what he thinks is best because it’s not good for the kids to be around him right now? I really don’t know just saying he’s got enough money to hire the best lawyers so I’m going to have to wonder why that a year later custody is still in question
I don’t think the booze was actually for him (Skinnygirl margarita mix isn’t exactly his thing), but I doubt he’s sober and I doubt he cares if people know it.
He’s never cared before. After his first rehab stint he almost went out of his way to let people know he was still drinking eg. sipping a glass of whiskey instead of water during an on stage interview.
I’m very curious to see what happens when the new television season starts up and she is needed to work 6 days a week for SNL and has to have her wits about her ( somewhat at least)
They went public during the summer break and fall season will start up soon enough. Will Ben be able to tolerate not being Soul Focus or will he get a Wandering eye and have several side pieces?
Will he become sloppy with hiding said side pieces?
Tune in to the same bat Channel at the same bat time next week LOL
I think this woman is the enabler and this is why he chose her. First he meets her in Los Vegas ( the recovering alcoholics version of hell) and now he’s buying liquor with her.
This is a guy who still wants to drink and wants to be with the person who tells him it’s okay to do so.
Now he is back in LA with her goi g on public date nights. Maybe he has no access to his kids now? Let’s just trace the last week – NYC with Lindsey, Comicon on the weekend, supposedly London shooting JL last week. ME with Lindsay on the weekend and now back in LA with her. How can he be giving any sufficient real parenting to his children when he is not home and when he is, he has his girlfriend with him.
Saw that they were in LA, at the Comedy Club. Agree, very little time for the children, yes, we only see what’s not behind closed doors, but as you’ve mentioned, the times he’s with Snookers leaves very few hours in the day to see the kids. I would think with summer almost over he would be spending more time with them before they start back. Of course, maybe he and Lindsay have them with them all the time,ha,ha,ha….