Yolanda Hadid has a new memoir out, and I vaguely remember covering the news that she was writing one. The announcement about her memoir, entitled Believe Me, was made last summer, and good for her for finishing her memoir and releasing it in just over a year. She hasn’t made as much headlines in the interim, likely because she’s been busy writing and also she’s been thoroughly eclipsed by her daughters, Gigi and Bella. (They’re both turning into seasoned models and I just love to see what they’re wearing.) Also, in the first cover we saw of her potential memoir she was snuggling a husky puppy. She should not have cut out the puppy.
Yolanda has received a lot of flack for going public with her lyme disease diagnosis, which of course is the focus of this book. I was surprised to read that she’s only been battling this for five years as it seems like it’s been longer for her. Yolanda wasn’t wasn’t shy about showing her illness on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, about discussing all the treatments (some very quacky/controversial that she went through), and about sharing her good days too. People don’t understand that with lyme and other invisible illnesses you can look fine and still feel sick or you can have one really good day where you feel almost normal, do too many activities, and then pay for it for days. So Yolanda was accused of faking and of playing up her illness as well as assuming that her children have it. This is a common experience for many people with illnesses like this. It’s also common for entire families to get lyme because it’s endemic in their area and they have pets which bring ticks into the house. So I do believe her and I’ll get more into that in a moment. First here’s part of her memoir, which is out September 12.
In 2012, Hadid, 53, was diagnosed with severe, chronic neurological Lyme disease after a Belgium doctor discovered an active infection in her brain. Despite antibiotics, her condition drastically got worse and symptoms like joint pain, exhaustion, insomnia and anxiety plagued her daily life. Simple things like answering an email became difficult and her fatigue was so severe walking from the bedroom to the bathroom was nearly impossible.
Two years after her diagnosis, Hadid was on a trip to Florida with then husband David Foster when she could no longer take the pain.
“I take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting,” she writes in her book, out Sept. 12. “The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me. Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the water’s ebb and flow.”“God please just take me away in a wave. I can’t live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear,” she writes. “My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and that’s the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown.”
Now more focused than ever to regain her health, Hadid is in what “feels like remission” and she’s focused on her family, recovery and finding a cure.
“As difficult as these past five years have been, I am so grateful that this journey has led me to living in the light,” she says. “I have had it all and lost it all, only to realize that less is more, money can’t buy you health or happiness, and one day at a time is good enough.”
As I’ve mentioned several times, I developed an invisible illness, likely lyme as I lived in Connecticut at the time, which caused me to need a wheelchair for months at a time when I was previously incredibly healthy and fit. (I worked out every day, I ran my own business etc.) It was awful, I was almost immediately unable to work or do basic activities and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I gradually recovered, I’m practically 100% now (knock wood), and it’s hard to remember what that was like. I do remember weeks when I could barely get around the house and when doing basic activities would exhaust me. I couldn’t even think straight.
So Yolanda may seem like a drama queen and she’s definitely an attention-seeker, she’s a model and a reality TV star after all, but this was her truth and it put her entire world in disarray. Until I went through that I had almost no understanding of what chronic health problems can be like and how people can suffer in silence. I don’t know what I would do in Yolanda’s public position but I get why she’s sharing it. There were times when I felt like I was going to die and I learned very quickly that very few doctors would understand or be able to help. Never once did I consider suicide or want to die though, that’s chilling to hear she went through that.
photos credit: Backgrid, Instagram, Amazon
I confessed earlier this week that I am a Real Housewives watched (gulp), and I’ve always found her borderline intolerable.
I understand that her illness is truly awful (I live with an auto-immune disorder, so I really do get the invisible and chronic illness thing – I have been to the brink of ‘I cannot live like this anymore’ in my mid twenties, and I believe the horror of losing control of your own body), but her behavior has been consistently appalling. She’s arrogant, entitled, a bully and a mean girl.
I’m also not a fan of her brand of non-scientific ‘alternative’ medicine – it’s her body and she can do with it what she pleases, but I feel it is a little dangerous for it to be advertised the way she has done using her platform as a reality star.
I mean, birds of a feather right? Brandi, Kim, Yolanda. Gag.
“I have been to the brink of ‘I cannot live like this anymore’ in my mid twenties”
I’ve gone through this recently. I’ve had symptoms of fibromyalgia since at least 7th grade. It wasn’t something that impacted my day to day activity back then – but I definitely had incredibly heightened sensitivity to stimuli that shouldn’t cause any pain. I remember just brushing my hand against my lower back would hurt – or shaving my legs they would feel like a constant invisible bruise. Things like that that were nagging in the back of my mind, but could be easily avoided by choosing certain fabrics and simply not touching them. I turned 27 this year and was officially diagnosed last year. I hadn’t mentioned these symptoms to my doctor because they hadn’t really been THAT troubling at the time, and I was able to do normal teenager things. I remember working in a hardware store in high school and by the end of my shift almost being in tears because of pain. I just figured it was a case of me not being used to being on my feet for that length of time and that it was normal.
For the most part, it was a case of a gradual increase in symptoms, gradual decrease in energy levels. Life got more stressful, I gained weight which wasn’t helping. But because it was gradual and only so limiting that being in pain was kind of my ‘baseline’. You don’t really get used to hurting… but it stops being a surprise after a while. It becomes YOUR normal even if it’s not normal to others.
The last two years or so have been a lot harder. I’m 27 now. I’ve spent about half of my life with chronic pain issues that I didn’t want to complain about because I always thought people living with this sort of thing were much worse off, and I couldn’t fall into that category. It’s also not something widely discussed – especially not aimed at 13 year old kids.
It’s because of people advocating and spreading awareness (as well as being absolutely fed up with my work life, social life, home life being so negatively impacted on top of feeling like garbage) that I finally was like “wait… these things sound a lot like what I deal with”. It’s been just over a year that I’ve been working on figuring out the best treatment for me – and there’s still a lot of times where I just feel absolutely dismal about it. I’m not even in my 30’s and I take the same kind of meds (in higher doses) than my 92 year old grandmother. I honestly worry so much about what old age is going to be like. I have less bad days. But I still have them, and the good days are rarely without symptoms. But even with seeing some improvements, having to constantly up the dosage of medication every few months because it’s not working as well as it did before gets so mentally exhausting.
Honestly, I’m doing better. I’m so much better off than other people – I can still work. I have an amazing supportive husband and family. I have good health coverage. I keep reminding myself that I’m incredibly lucky compared to so many others, and one of the best things I’ve done for myself is to learn to say no to things I don’t want to do at least one days I’m really not feeling good.
I’m so glad that people are spreading awareness and trying to fight for more acceptance of invisible illnesses – but I am 100% in agreement with you. People who have a platform like this woman does need to be cautious and responsible when promoting ‘cures’ or ‘quick fixes’ that have no grounding in science, or studies to support the claims they’re making. They need to really drive home the fact that people need to consult with their doctors first and foremost if they’re also interested in exploring other options. So many medications can be affected by supplements and things that seem so benign. I can’t take a Tums within 4 hours before or after one of my medications – something as harmless as a Tums! And disclosure is SO important. If you’re at your dr or an er visit make sure you list EVERYTHING you’re taking – even if it’s a ‘natural’ supplement because there are so many surprising drug interactions out there that could affect the outcome of medication or surgery that you can never be too safe.
Have you had your thyroid checked?
Seriously. Check your thyroid hormones (not just TSH!), vit. b12 & d if you haven’t already.
@Erinn I was thinking of you when I read this because I have fibro too.
Do get your thyroids checked. Any tsh over 1.5 is NOT a good thing. Also check t3 and t4, vitamins D and B, iron and magnesium. Those helped me a lot but I am far from cured. Cutting out gluten was a mayor improvement. Also diary.
I have had first symptoms at around 20, but its really bad since maybe 5 years. I’m 39 now and not sure how much longer I will be able to work. No husband, no insurance, no idea how to do my job when I cannot sit still for more than 10 minutes because of the pain, and I fail at basic tasks because of the brain fog.
If my parents weren’t alive, I might have pulled the plug already but I am trying not to do that while they are still alive.
I will start a heavy metal detox soon, as they found not one but a handful of those in extreme amounts in my pee. Maybe that will change something. I asked multiple doctors for a lyme test because I have been biten by those more than once but the doctors dont want to do any tests as they are considered unreliable. If anyone has a recommendation on how to test lyme properly I would be grateful. Thank you.
Adding to the above good advice: Please look into connective tissue disorders and mast cell activation syndrome (an allergic disorder). I have both (as do my kids), and they can both lead to fibromyalgia-type pain.
That’s a very sweet summary of her book. I have multiple sclerosis and I literally do everything I can to avoid showing or discussing my symptoms. I just understand that people won’t understand and I want as normal a life as possible. I suppose it’s different with Lyme bc hopefully that can be cured and people can eventually get better.
My niece and one of my oldest friends are both living with MS. My niece was diagnosed at 19 years old. They both feel the same as you: get on with your life. Everyone has their own way of coping. I wish you the best.
Ok, please don’t attack me but….didn’t she start to feel better once her leaking implants were taken out?
I’m not saying she didnt have Lyme btw
I watched RHOBH when she was on and so I have mixed feelings about her. There’s a part of her that is very Goop…you know, rich lady indulging all this wellness trend crap. Her appearance on Dr. Oz has me side-eyeing her because he revealed that she had been hospitalized a lot in her life for what he hinted was depression.
Chronic pain is awful. Hope she’s feeling better or at least better on the good days.
Has she always gone by “Hadid”? I don’t know much about her other than her daughters (I don’t watch Housewives), but was told that she was divorced from their father and remarried and I was slightly confused. Is her original surname unpronounceable or easy to mispronounce? I *think* she’s Dutch, and from my Dutch friends a couple of their surnames make my Arabic family surnames look easy.
Her maiden name was Van der Herik, so no, not hard to spell or pronounce. Presumably she became Hadid when she married husband number 1, then she was Yolanda Foster when she first appeared on TV…then reverted to Hadid post divorce from David Foster.
A little odd that she didn’t revert to her maiden name, and instead to her ex-husband’s name…but hey the famous kids are Hadids…
She probably wants the same name as her children.
But she didn’t want it for the first 15-20 years of their lives?
To be fair, she always kept the Hadid name, even after she split from her first husband, Mohamed Hadid. She went by Yolanda Hadid until she married David Foster and became Yolanda Hadid Foster. Now that she’s divorced, she dropped Foster. I don’t think she’s used her maiden name since before her first marriage.
Ok, that makes a lot more sense.
Ok, I’ll be honest and say I don’t believe she had Lyme. She had none of the symptoms for years when she claimed she had it. She refused to go to licensed western doctors for the testing for Lyme, according to what she said in the show (I love garbage reality tv). She only went to eastern doctors that tried to treat her symptoms but never questioned her self diagnosis. She lied about her kids being formally diagnosed with Lyme by doctors until the kids publicly claimed they were fine and she had to walk those claims back. Her first husband stated she is a hypochondriac who refuses to get real treatment for her depression, typically claiming the symptoms are all sorts of other diseases instead. The doctors tv show implied she had depressive episodes for years that affected her. Her second husband (total jerk) started cheating on her, understandably causing major emotional turmoil for her. Boom…she has all the symptoms of a major depressive episode but calls it Lyme disease. She gets her leaky implants out and is magically cured of Lyme disease.
I believe her when she talks about her pain and symptoms. I believe her when she says she couldn’t get out of bed for days. I also think she would benefit from not viewing depression as something to hide or be ashamed of.
Lyme disease is something done to someone’s body by outside forces out of their control. Depression is caused by our own bodies and is still viewed by many as controllable and the victim’s fault.
+1. She doesn’t have lyme.
I honestly don’t understand this “invisible” thing with lyme, I’m not being funny by the way, I’m sure there are people who experience a lot of pain without receiving a diagnosis. But I had a very bad case of lyme disease myself when I was a kid and was misdiagnosed for months (because I didn’t have a red ring and doctors thought it was growing pains), and finally ended up in the emergency with crazy fever and almost paralysed. They finally diagnosed and confirmed it using a spinal tap and put me on heavy duty antibiotics for weeks. Had to stay at the hospital and be hooked up to it and missed a month of school the bacteria was so bad. And it did take over a year to recover when I was overly sensitive to light and sound and basically couldn’t think. But, the bacteria was actually there and it made me extremely sick. So I don’t really understand this “new” idea that lyme disease is somehow invisible. Just saying, I’m not negating anyone’s experience of pain but I am confused, isn’t it possible it could be something else?
‘Invisible’ because there are no physical identifying clues (paralyzed legs, for ex) or the aides that go along with some health issues (ex, wheelchair). On a good day, a person with an invisible illness can blend in and appear healthy.
Did she really have Lyme disease, though? Wasn’t her “nurse” revealed to be a hooker? Isn’t her fakery the reason her “perfect” marriage imploded? Isn’t her lack of honesty about this one reason she’s not on RHOBH anymore?
Honestly, I think she’s yet another attention seeking trophy wife. There’s so many of them out there.
I don’t believe she had Lyme disease. Once she claimed that some of her children had it too, it showed she was either making things up or is just clueless.
“Once she claimed that some of her children had it too, it showed she was either making things up or is just clueless. ”
How so? It makes sense that people who lice in the same area would get it. It’s not unheard of for several family members to be infected.
Ugh no, Bella has come out (months ago, if not years) & said that she also has/had it. I believe their brother has it as well.
@tty
Because real Lyme disease involves getting bitten by a deer tick. When you look at the CDC data of cases in California, the state has a relatively low number of cases. If they lived in CT and not CA, I would find it more believable.
Also given Yolanda’s history of going to quacks instead of real doctors, I don’t think there was ever a reliable diagnosis.
I know all about Lyme, I had it. CDC is notorious for downplaying the severity of Lyme epidemic. Some major US university (which one escapes me at the moment) published their own stats and they were vastly different from what CDC says.
I should add that my views on Yolanda not having Lyme but something else, are based on my personal experience with a friend and Lyme. She self diagnosed herself as having Lyme for nearly a decade, trying every herbal medicine, etc with no help. She was in terrible physical pain. A few years ago she started therapy for help. Within 6 months she and her therapist agreed that while Lyme fits the symptoms so does depression. She started on prescription meds for depression and for the first time got relief. She no longer claims to have Lyme and realizes she was too ashamed to consider she had depression because of the stigma.
I just wish she had gone to a licensed doctor and therapist earlier because she suffered physical pain and emotional distress for years, simply because she didn’t want to be labeled by depression or other mental health issues.
I watched RHOBH when Yolanda was on and I have to say I liked her, I found her to be less drama than the others. And I believe she has Lyme.
I’ve also owned up to television bottom-feeding—and am very familiar with Yolanda’s illness and storyline on RHBH.
I don’t doubt that she’s battled Lyme Disease, and I feel great empathy for anyone dealing with something that invades your life, turns it upside down, and leaves you feeling sick much of the time.
But, I’m pretty sure that Yo and then-husband David Foster’s marriage had already hit the skids when she joined the cast. She pretended (and he went along with it) that their marriage was solid as a rock and the best thing since sliced bread. So that deception, played out over time, makes me generally question where her head is at, what she’s capable of.
She never struck me as very deep or smart. But she’s gorgeous, stylish, very practical and disciplined. She succeeded as a model, knows the business, and wanted to use the show to launch her kids.
I loved seeing her incredible Malibu house, and the way she and her then “king”—as she called husband David Foster—-entertained. The fabulous lemon grove, where she picked lemons for her special-brew, cleansing drink, the spectacular kitchen with the giant see-through refrigerator that always looked like a decorator arranged its contents… it was fun to see it all.
I watched the show and always really liked Yolanda. I found her to be the most down to earth of the cast, and also very kind and reasonable. I questioned her relationship with David, but only because she was always doing so much for him, whereas he just kind of seemed like an arrogant jerk who was happy to have someone waiting on him hand and foot. Not surprising (but disappointing) that when she got sick and wasn’t able to cater to him in the same way, that they broke up. If the tables were reversed I’m sure she would have been by his side, fighting for his health.
I don’t know what to think about her. I would hate to accuse someone of not having the disease if they really do.
At least it’s recognised there. Sufferers here in Australia are more likely to be refered to a psychiatrist and given a lecture about it not existing in Australia.
Don’t believe her. She’s one of the most manipulative housewives.
I have the same experience of looking normal, and then doing several activities and crashing a couple of days later. When I crash I look 20 years older. I have CFS due to candida. It’s been difficult to get caring, respectful doctors because they don’t believe in it. I just started with a Nurse Practitioner who deals with adrenal fatigue and candida. I tried antidepressants and they made me feel worse. Because of my condition, my fiancé and I broke up which was heartbreaking. No one wants to lose their significant other due to a systemic infection that many won’t understand.