I know that the Ted Cruz story was mostly a 24-hour thing, like a rash (from beating it) or a cold (from beating it outside). But I’m still laughing about it because seriously, it’s one of the best things that’s happened this week. I mean OF COURSE it’s Ted Cruz. Of course it was Ted Cruz’s Twitter account that “liked” a p0rn video. The same Ted Cruz that hates abortion, birth control, sex toys, women and any food that isn’t soup. The same Ted Cruz who is probably the Zodiac Killer. If this was a plotline in a script, people would roll their eyes because it’s just too obvious. Anyway, Ted Cruz wants you to know that he’s conducting an “internal investigation” into how that p0rn tweet got “liked.”
Sen. Ted Cruz said Tuesday that a staff member of his was responsible for “liking” a pornographic Twitter post with the Texas lawmaker’s account, chalking up the social media snafu to a “mistake.”
“There are a number of people on the team who have access on the account. It appears that someone inadvertently hit the like button. When we discovered the post, which was I guess an hour or two later, we pulled it down,” Cruz (R-Texas) said of the incident. “It was a staffing issue. And it was inadvertent, it was a mistake. It was not a deliberate act. We’re dealing with it internally, but it was a mistake. It was not malicious.”
Cruz told reporters Tuesday that it was “still being discussed” whether the staff member in question would retain access to the senator’s social media account. Earlier Tuesday, a spokeswoman for Cruz announced via her own Twitter account that the “like” had been undone and that the post had been reported to Twitter.
“The offensive tweet posted on @tedcruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter,” Catherine Frazier, Cruz’s senior communications adviser, wrote on her Twitter account at 2:16 a.m. Tuesday morning.
A “staffing issue.” That’s what she said. Ted Cruz got the shaft and now his presidential hopes are limp. He’s really going to have to stroke his image to get out of this one. He’ll have to pound away at it. Maybe someday he can find who did this and rub him/one out.
And seriously, what does an internal investigation look like in Ted Cruz’s office? Ew, that thought just made me shiver. So gross.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
Hahahah … this post is cracking me up!
Me too! Can’t stop laughing. This whole “incident” is amazing
Same here. 😂😂
OMG I will never urge anyone to use imagery in writing again! There is not enough brain bleach in the world for this one lololol! I’d bet a LOT that this shrivelled-hearted, hypocritical blot on humanity thought liking something meant he could bookmark it and revisit it. *shudder*. He is just too gross for words.
I’m practically crying, I’m laughing so hard!
He might be telling the truth. Every time I press LIKE, it’s because my hands are jittery from too much coffee. I blame caffeine. Don’t think Folgers won’t receive a strongly worded letter from me by days end.
A++. Still laughing that Cruz’s office “reported” their own mistake to Twitter.
There aren’t enough Sure, Jan’s in the world for this.
What kills me is so many of these dumbass Republicans don’t know anything about technology…or science or history or economics or people or anything in general. My kid would know this. An infant would know this. I love how important it was that he ‘liked the video. I’m so glad he wants them to know how enjoyable this was for him and his derp face. How is this stupid party ahead right now? Because the followers are equally as stupid. Like attracts like. The greedy ones don’t mind.
Also, I hate that he looks like my awesome Robin Williams…but more like his evil, demonic, diluted by hatred twin.
Oh, those pesky staffers and their accidental “my elbow hit a porn site and then the like button too” blunders. Silly silly staffers.
I know, so clumsy, aren’t they? Lol.
His response could not be more predictable.
He’s following the Trump plan – blame anyone else but yourself. Never take responsibility.
At 2 AM, no less. Bad, bad staff!
They know which *cough* member tweeted it, haven’t decided whether or not to fire him/her AND they reported it to Twitter? His staff is doing the most. Usually this kind of dumbassery is good for a giggle but with so much going on in the country I’m just sad and disgusted.
Ted wants Twitter to punish him for being a bad, bad boy. Ahem.
Or to punish the staff’s member who liked it!!!
It’s still funny even though it isn’t funny!
That said, absolute tish tosh, this excuse. To see pr0n in your Twatter feed, you have to actively seek it out – something something careful targeting, behaviour analysing algorithms, etc etc.
WE KNOW YOU LOOKED FOR IT, TEDDY BOY.
i totally agree. Like a staffer would troll for porn on his the account of his boss. Yes, there are a lot of stupid people out there, but i still believe it to be a stretch.
i totally agree. Like a staffer would troll for porn on his the account of his boss. Yes, there are a lot of stupid people out there, but i still believe it to be a stretch.
Contrary to the beliefs of the peddlars of moral majority nonsense, you don’t go on FB or the Twatter to encounter an avalanche of pr0n and depravity every day. You only find it if you look for it.
Exactly. Well said.
It’s almost as if Google et al don’t have entire teams of people refining algorithms so that people don’t have a bad experience using their services by finding unsolicited pr0n all over the place.
Revelatory, I know!
A search box was filled definitely.
Bet he’s had a lot of attention from p0rnbots recently.
If you’re using tweetdeck or something for social monitoring, it does sometimes spit up pr0n (fun fact: I gotta be careful monitoring the Medical Aid in Dying hashtag because #maid tweets go one of two directions) BUT their response to this situation makes it SO OBVIOUS it was Cruz
The only accidental pron I’ve come across has been from opening a few DListed commenter links. It’s usually funny.
Come on, look at his language! He clearly doesn’t understand twitter (or any social media for that matter). It wasn’t a post, it was a like. Very different things. “Oh, so when I like this, it shows up in all my followers’ feeds? Likes aren’t private?” His staffers (and the average person) are more media savvy than this. I fully put this on Ted Cruz and his ignorance.
And what’s even funnier to me is the idea that Ted wants an investigation into which “staffer” did this. Um, Ted? Just because your demon tech phone summons amazing pr0n through some evil magical science-y means you will never understand, just because you don’t know something doesn’t make it impossible. Science CAN TELL WHO DID IT. No prayer involved. Be careful what you pray for, Bub. You might just embarrass yourself more.
He doesn’t believe in science. So he’s safe. That means he will never get pregnant, right?
Most government accounts have blockers on them that prevent staffers from visiting porn or gambling sites on the taxpayers’s dime. No blocker on Cruz’s account? The guy is actively surfing porn while at work.
Maybe that’s why he had to make do with lame Twitter-level p0rn as he was blocked from all the other tens of thousands of more ‘reputable’ sites through which to access content.
Indeed he is.
His ‘staffer’ wasn’t searching at work. He liked the porn post at MID-NIGHT! at MID-NIGHT!!! 🙂 I mean, c’mon, senator!
What cracks me up is that during the interview with CNN, he kept saying ” it’s a total screw-up, it won’t happen again”, it’s a total screw-up” without any apparent sense of irony. SMH
I love it when right wing hypocrisy is exposed. The problem is the hypocrisy is never acknowledged. They never learn.
He should figure out a way to blame Chris “this uniform totally fits, guys” Christie. That seems to be the way to usually go.
Sadly, this will somehow be Obama’s fault.
I for one am happy to know that Ted is taking this thing in hand, now is the time to stand firm!
(I may have just made myself barf, but seriously he was looking at incest porn and barf again )
🙂
SO many double entendres to make that it’s just too, too good.
Sixer I am sure he will clean up his image again using a PR masterstroke!
And, thank heavens, that’ll be pretty much it in a nutsack!
HAHAHA. Comedy gold.
Pretty sure he has taken the “member” in hand that went searching for those images. Several times, probably.
Oh, and kudos, Kaiser, for squeezing maximum humor from the situation. Hope it wasn’t too hard.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My favorite tweet from yesterday: “To be fair, [Ted] was probably holding his phone in his non-dominant hand”
Say “inadvertent” and “mistake” one more time, Ted, then we’ll believe you.
This humiliation is exactly what he deserves. Him being vague about someone being fired to me proves that he did it.
Don’t be such a jerkoff, Kaiser, im sure Cruz just was distracted, he probably had his hands full.
Ahaha jk no, no mercy, please more on this track. this and Marin’s tweets are the medicine we need. Any and all puns welcome.
There is no way this was a mistake given the level of data mining that goes on online now – even if he didn’t search for it on Twitter he will have searched for pr0n at some point on the computer he ‘liked’ the tweet from. Related and targeted ads for things you searched for in Google (or where ever) appears ALL OVER your social media feeds – ALL OF THEM. He was actively was looking for it.
EXACTLY.
No way this was a mistake because most government devices have blockers to prevent staff from visiting inappropriate sites.
You have to register on these pom sites in order for you to like or thumbs down a vid. You can like freely on twitter. But who does that (liking pom videos)? I won’t do that even if I’m anonymous. Teddy bear is very appreciative.
I don’t buy the blaming, either. A younger person would be far more savvy, and would have quickly fixed the ‘error’.
Supposedly the like was still in his feed hours later. It was middle of the night, and I think he had no clue how to get it off his feed until staff could help him.
Ummmmm now the p0rn twitter is selling Ted Cruz merch:
http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/350389-twitter-account-sells-merch-about-cruz-liking-porn-tweet
Those are hysterical!
His face physically makes me ill. When even your daughters think you’re gross, you’re gross.
Baaahhhhhaaaa. That is a face meant for glory holes.
Hahaha. Firstly, only someone like Ted Cruz would go looking for porn on Twitter. (What does he use Tinder for? Finding cheesecake recipes?)
And, secondly…well…there is no secondly…he did it and we all know.
Ted saw a porn and he liked it
Gives new meaning to TedTalk
Cruisin’ with Cruz
What a load
Nut Squirrel Nut
Ballsy, Ted
I assume his staff members are millenials or late gen-exer. No one in that generation would ever use twitter to watch p0rn or if ever they do they won’t be watching lame p0rn that looks like a royalty free stock footage video. Only very religious, middleaged, coddled white men will type the words ‘sexual posts’ on the search bar.
Eh, I had to look up his age. It’s scary – he is a gen-x-er. For the normal people in this generation, we know better. I believe the idea upthread, that it happened on his phone at night and it took hours to clear up because he had to wait for staff to show up at the office.
Did you see that he typed in “sexual posts” though? I mean… Do you think anyone other than Cruz himself would be such a weirdo that way? It has to have been Cruz himself.
He’s not fooling anyone except maybe his wife and I’m not even sure about her.
It’s an easy mistake to make. He probably meant sectional. It’s all that Betsy de Whatsit-style schooling he had.
i imagine him stroking his dicknose b/c he’s so confused about science and the human body…
LMFAO!!!!
I was trying to think of a clever way to mention his dicknose but couldn’t come up with anything even remotely as funny.
You win all of the internetz.
thank you and you’re welcome…LOL
Also, it was labeled as ‘incest porn’. He’s gross.
‘ol jackass.
This entire paragraph is LEGIT, I am cracking up, so fabulously hilarious, on-point, DAMN GIRL:
‘A “staffing issue.” That’s what she said. Ted Cruz got the shaft and now his presidential hopes are limp. He’s really going to have to stroke his image to get out of this one. He’ll have to pound away at it. Maybe someday he can find who did this and rub him/one out.’
All gossip aside, it’s writing like this that holds my interest and fills my morning with laughter, keeps me clicking back at celebitchy.com. Thank you!
Sure, Ted needs to be the new “Sure, Jan”
He should have called Josh Duggar for tips before he went looking for love in all the wrong places. If it hadn’t been for the AM hack, ole Joshie may have never been outed.
A “staffing issue.” *rolleyes*
This reminds me of a German Politician called Beatrix von Storch ( Yes, it is her real name), who claimed – after posting an extremly vile comment on Facebook – that she slipped with her mouse.
Coincidentally her vileness rivals Ted Cruz’ vileness. They would be a match made i horror-heaven.
Why does he have to Stroke his image to get out of this one. Hasn’t Donald Trump set the bar about offensive misogynistic behavior. To many of Trumps deplorables isn’t this normal behavior for a man in a powerful position. Won’t Cruz’s constituents just give him a pass?
Methinks the only “staff” he needs to blame is the one in his pants.
I hope he “pulls a Weiner” and won’t win office again. It does not surprise me at all that Ted loves porn.
And for those of us who have not seen this video since last year, here are the Ted Cruz Family Outtakes from the video he had filmed for Superpacs to use in commercials. After watching this, I can see why a highway patrol officer found Heidi Cruz on the side of the road crying and near suicidal a few years ago. And I can see Ted Cruz is a 100% weirdo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqpHTFJO4mE
My staffer, AKA my right hand….
Oh dear, it’s like a tween getting caught googling “boobies”.
It wasn’t me! It’s… it’s.. a virus! Yeah! A virus! No, no, it was my FRIEND! Yeah! You’ll buy it, right?