Gwyneth Paltrow will eventually open a Goop Wellness retreat with ‘Goop doctors’

Celebs show off their elaborate outfits for the 2017 Met Gala

I feel like a broken record about Gwyneth Paltrow these days. Gwyneth should be ignored. But people are not ignoring her. Gwyneth’s Goop is a big deal, and she’s seen by many in Hollywood and beyond as “getting in on the ground floor” of the wellness movement. The wellness movement is basically “dieting with feelings.” It’s not just about going on a diet and wanting to lose weight anymore – you have to create medical and mental health issues which can be “solved” by “wellness.” The wellness movement believes they created the mind-body link. I could go on and on but as I said, I feel like a broken record. Gwyneth has a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter about Goop and how Goop is growing and growing and there is no limit to the Goop Takeover. Goop is now valued at $65 million. Gwyneth is opening a brick-and-mortar Goop Lab store in LA. She’s got Goop Quarterly in magazine form. All of it makes me sick. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Why she’s opening a brick-and-mortar store: “I do think there are people who have formed a bond with a digital brand that’s resonant for them, and they want an IRL touchpoint. We have come to that from all of our pop-up shops and seeing how our readers and shoppers like to interact with the brand and smell the perfume and try things on and be in the Goop world. And looking at models like Warby Parker and Bonobos and the “click ‘n’ mortar” dynamic, where someone is really connecting online but appreciating an offline experience, we’re a brand that’s primed to do that. I envision retail being a more dynamic experience, using the store for talks, signings, lectures and wellness activations, making it a living space where you are coming into our collective home.

Whether she’ll eventually open Goop spas or hotels: “That’s part of my plan. We are a few years away, but there’s a big opportunity to have somewhere where people are interested in wellness or a retreat, a real retreat where you can have access to Goop’s doctors.

The pros and cons of her celebrity now that she’s a “business mogul”: “It makes it much more difficult. For the business I’m creating, it’s an obstacle I always have to overcome. For example, Reese [Witherspoon], who is a dear friend, has this quickly growing Draper James [clothing] business, and she leverages her celebrity in a great way for her brand. But for this model — where I’m trying to make Goop bigger than me and its own brand — you become inextricably linked. I’m a target in a way most entrepreneurs are not….When I interview someone for a position, it takes them a while before I’m not Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s just an obstacle and then it’s OK. But it’s also a blessing when we need to leverage my celebrity — it opens doors. I don’t know many young entrepreneurs who can call [Disney CEO] Bob Iger, [Facebook COO] Sheryl Sandberg or [Airbnb founder] Brian Chesky, and they are kind enough to waste a little bit of their day to help me. So in that respect, my celebrity has been a huge asset.

Her priorities for 2018: “We want to take Goop international, we want to get this TV show right, and we have a lot of key hires to make. And we are looking to open another store.

Whether she’s giving up acting: “I need to be here right now. I went to Atlanta to do Avengers 4, so I’m in and out for that, and it’s weird to go back and forth. We’re growing fast, and balls are dropping all the time. But honestly, I was on set and thought, “You sit here for two hours sipping tea, Robert Downey Jr. and Don Cheadle are making me laugh hysterically — why the hell did I give this up?”

[From THR]

Just think, this whole thing started when she was a bored housewife in London. Truly! She was barely working as an actress, because the scripts weren’t coming in for her anymore, and she just started Goop as some kind of whim. It was like her version of the smug mommy blog. In the first years, I even remember that she would go months without updating Goop because she was on vacation! And now she’s talking about global Goop domination and saturating the market with her Goop. Obviously, people are buying this sh-t. So she did tap into something. But I still find it mystifying, and I don’t know why people are buying. Is it really just as simple as “rich, bored white women will buy anything”?

Also: Goop’s doctors at the Wellness Center… my God. I hope all of those doctors lose their medical licenses.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Blythe Danner arrive at Gwyneth's Goop event with Chris Martin

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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42 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow will eventually open a Goop Wellness retreat with ‘Goop doctors’”

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  1. perplexed says:

    I always thought she was kind of lazy because of how her acting career fizzled out (she could have had a better acting filmography if she wanted), but maybe her interests were always more in line with wanting to be a businesswoman (I mean, I know she lies and all that but how to get “well”, but maybe business is what motivates her.)

    • SammyB says:

      How is this company worth $65 million only? It’s had $25 million in Ventura Capital investment so far. She put 10 years of effort into selling snakes oil and she will get $20 million out of it at best if she were to sell it today. She should’ve stuck with her day job frankly.

  2. anna222 says:

    I get angry about this but part of me thinks – if you’re a certain type of woman that has too much money coupled with the inability to think critically and evaluate information then honestly, you deserve Gwyneth and her snake oil.

    • GiBee says:

      My problem with this line of thinking is that there is a REASON these gullible idiots fell for this trap. Gwyn’s terrible, but she figured something out – instead of dismissing all the little complaints some women have constantly, treat them like idiot babies and give them everything they want, at a price.

      For example, one thing Goop and others like her harp on endlessly is “tiredness” – you’re so tired, women always tell me they’re so tired, all you need to do is take this vitamin, this powder, this supplement. A lot of Goop devotees then spout nonsense like “I was exhausted and my doctor suggested I might need more sleep and a balanced diet, because he’s a tool of the patriarchy, but now someone’s willing to sell me all this stuff because she really understands working women!”.

      So, if a working mum is constantly tired, and isn’t eating properly, because she’s taking care of children and working and on a crazy diet or working out too much or not enough or sleeping only 6 hours a night, telling her to just sleep more is bad. And some women have become tired of that. BUT selling her useless sh*t nicely packaged is bad. But if a famous blonde woman who’s *just like you* says it, maybe you’ll try it?
      And unfortunately, it’s easier than saying “Well you’re doing too much and not eating properly, so change your entire life”.

      It makes me furious because it treats desperate women like idiots.
      Also, not all of them have a tonne of money – there are plenty of women wasting money that they don’t have an endless supply of on this nonsense.

    • Birdix says:

      But can there possibly be enough of them to sustain a business?
      On the flip side, my brilliant and dear friend recently went to a “retreat” in Florida where they fed her a raw diet and told her they’d cured far worse cases of cancer than hers. So while anecdote’s not evidence, even brilliant people have blind spots when it comes to “wellness.”

    • Izzy says:

      Sometimes the patient isn’t to blame. Some of these people are desperate and will cling to anything. At work, I keep having to try to talk patients with a serious chronic lung disease out of going to a special “lung clinic” in Florida which is claiming revolutionary success in treatment with stem cell treatments. There is not one pulmonologist, critical care or infectious disease specialist there – it’s a n anesthesiologist, an orthopedic surgeon, and someone we can’t find any information about. Stem cells may very well be a viable treatment, but there hasn’t been one single placebo controlled double-blind study done with it for this disease. But some patients will pour tens of thousands of dollars down the drain on claims that have no support from people who have absolutely no expertise. The patients are desperate, and these doctors prey on it.

      Sorry. It’s been a crappy few days. We lost a patient, she was one of our most outspoken advocates.

      • Down and Out says:

        Izzy, so sorry to hear about your patient. I also work in pulmonary medicine, primarily in low-resource countries. What grinds my gears is when companies like Goop promote alternative health practices under the auspices of “traditional medicine”, as though people in countries who practice those things all prefer it. I work a lot in Africa, and many people go to traditional healers simply because there isn’t a health clinic for many, many miles. Even when there is, drug supplies run short, so they have to make do with what they have. Reverting back to “traditional” medical practices is such a clear indicator of privilege, and these rich white women who buy the sh*t Goop is selling them wouldn’t do it if they didn’t have the safety net of Western medicine.

      • GiBee says:

        Amen, lovelies.
        I don’t see anyone wistfully longing for some all-natural, artisan cholera-infected drinking water just to be “authentic”.

  3. detritus says:

    So rich people can pay to get osteoporosis like Gwynneth? interesting.

    I hope Dr. Gunter visits and slaps them all down with science.

    • GiBee says:

      Organic, biodynamic, fair-trade osteoporosis.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      Sciences is toxic. Knowledge is subjective. Facts are invented by big pharma. Wellness is about not caring what others think even though they may have a point and several advanced degrees. You just don’t understand.

      • GiBee says:

        Hopefully they hire a specialist in pulling out the stick that been up Gwyn’s a** for the past few decades.

  4. minx says:

    Oh, go away you grifter.

  5. lala says:

    This is all fun and games until she starts peddling “wellness solutions” to life-threatening illnesses because, make no mistake, that is where she is heading. Vadge jade eggs and uterus steaming are only the beginning of this mes..

    • Wilder says:

      This is exactly what freaks me out. She’s like an early L. Ron Hubbard, who created dianetics ostensibly to help people with depression, or to overcome past trauma, but soon marketed it as a miracle cure for things like poor eyesight and arthritis. I swear Goop is heading down a similar path with her expensive vitamins and crazy doctors.

  6. marc kile says:

    Cue the malpractice lawsuits/ accidental death by vaginal steam cleaner in 1,2,3………

    • SoulSPA says:

      I bet that everyone who will undergo treatments will sign some sort of release of responsibility form. For the GOOP retreat/doctor and so on. With lots of money involved, GP will not risk anything. She’ll just make money, for her and her investors.

  7. Incredulous says:

    We live in a world where information and facts have truly never been easier to access so, naturally, we want our artisanal gobbledygook to complement our lifestyle.

    Fools, money, all that.

  8. Green Is Good says:

    Smug, pretentious grifter alert. She’s like her troll grifter friend Tracy Anderson.

  9. MousyB says:

    It should be Goop ‘doctors’…As a former Goop/Gwen apologist, I just can’t anymore *facepalm*

  10. SM says:

    I will never stop wondering, who on earth takes a wellness advice from someone who looks like this? Her skin looks dry and her hair looks dry and if I had all the money in the world to spend on my wellness and preserving my body and looks this is the last person I would take as an example. This face to me does not comminicate wellness and successeful healty living. The only thing that face captures well is how stuck up her own ass she is

    • HK9 says:

      Thank you! I drive by fields of hay that are less thirsty looking than her hair. She doesn’t look good without a ton of makeup. Her diet resembles something really close to disordered eating and nothing I would recommend to someone looking to be healthy.

      The jade eggs/ vaginal steaming are ‘therapeutic’ things that while it’s not for me, I don’t think will cause too much damage. It’s when you start getting into treatment of disease (and you know she’ll prance right on into it) which needs expertise from degree holding doctors is where the trouble will start.

  11. Talie says:

    Everything she touches with this seems to turn to gold, so yeah…

    I wonder if her life would’ve been different had Fincher cast her in Gone Girl and she got another Oscar nom.

  12. adastraperaspera says:

    Let me give a shout out to a legit wellness center — The University of Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine, founded in 1994 by Dr. Andrew Weil. They have a clinic in Tucson.

    https://integrativemedicine.arizona.edu/clinic/

    • anon says:

      yes! i am a big believer in functional medicine and ayurveda, despite what conventional drs here say. rather follow the principles that helped my ancestors thrive for thousands of years without getting poisoned like modern medicine.

      • Dani says:

        I’m all for integrative medicine, but please don’t denigrate all of modern medicine. Many people would otherwise have died without things like antibiotics and insulin.

  13. Boodiba says:

    I wouldn’t mind working for her actually.

  14. Kateq says:

    Look, everyone loves to hate on Gwyneth Paltrow and she can be completely obnoxious and a pain in the a** but some of what she is doing on goop is really positive and should be seen as such. She’s making a completely organic makeup and perfume range. Have you checked how much crap is put into expensive makeup brands like Mac, Clinique, Estee Lauder…the list goes on and same goes for the perfume industry.
    In this day, with all the shit going on in the world, wouldn’t it be nice if we could start focussing on the positives rather than the constant, negative narrative?

    • GiBee says:

      This article is well-written and discusses claims like ‘natural’ and ‘organic’:
      https://www.thecut.com/2017/04/a-guide-to-natural-makeup-and-skincare.html

      Products from Juice Beauty, which GP is associated with, aren’t completely organic – they are “made with certified organic ingredients.” Which means it might only be 70% organic.

      I agree that conventional perfumes and cosmetics can be loaded with nasty things, but it’s worth doing a deep dive into “natural” cosmetics too – there’s a lot of hoodwinking going on all around!

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      We could but you do realize that she is most negative one of them all, right? Words like “bad” or “toxic” are what is supposed to scare us into buying her “organic” products. Gluten is bad. Processed food is toxic. So is makeup and candles and skincare. GOOP is based on scaring people and that’s not really positive in my book.

      Also, as GiBee says, her products aren’t 100% natural or organic. Her eye cream, for example has only 78% organic ingredients. And the products are so expensive, my eyes start watering every time. Also, her Instant Facial contains glycolic acid.

      Also, and this is where I get angry. She lies. She calls the beauty industry “an industry that operates without regulation”. No. Just … no.

  15. annaloo. says:

    The success of Goop is a mirror of our society. As is the election of Donald Trump. People do not embrace common sense, and waste what agency they have supporting those who would take advantage of them. If this isn’t the Age of Shameful Vanity on multiple planes, I don’t know what it is.

  16. homeslice says:

    Why does her hair look so bad? I live in S. CA and have a great colorist/stylist…call me Gwyneth!

  17. Zondie says:

    People always talk about empowering women. Well, Gwenyth seems very empowered. She may or may not know what she is talking about but she is really confident. And smug.

  18. Serene Wolf says:

    Lmao @ “goop docters”!
    Hi everybody…

  19. Lulu says:

    Anyone who uses phrases like “offline experience” and “key hires” gets a massive eye roll from me…

  20. Seán says:

    Oh my God…it sounds like an episode of Black Mirror!

  21. Alix says:

    Do I detect the slightest bit of shade toward Reese and Draper James? Leveraging her celebrity in a lovely way, because of course, hers is but a quaint mom-and-pop shop compared to the worldwide business Goopy is building…

    Also, I’m so utterly sick of the word “brand”, I could puke.

    • dj says:

      @ Alix. I totally interpreted this back-handed compliment to “Reese” as well. I had to laugh out loud and read it to my husband. She is such a Bee-yotch. Loved the way she named dropped at least 4 names of famous people in one answer. Honestly, she does love herself so much!

  22. Jill says:

    People will die. People already die from preventable, curable, manageable conditions while depending on placebo bullshit from homeopathic or naturopathic “doctors.” Now, more gullible rich people with more money than sense will die. I’m sad for them but happy for the gene pool.