If you get a call about Roy Moore from someone named Bernie Bernstein, hang up

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The Alabama special election for their open Senate seat is still scheduled for December 12, less than a month from now. Less than four weeks from now. Usually, when a state schedules these completely off-season special elections, they’re angling for more Republican voters to turn out. Off-schedule elections are a way to suppress the Democratic Party vote. Well, they tried. Now the eyes of the nation are on Alabama and this special election and I would imagine that the voter turnout is not going to be anything like the predictions several months back. For one, I bet a lot of conservative Republicans just stay home rather than vote for Roy Moore, a sexual assailant and pedophile. For another, the Democrat Doug Jones is getting some heat and he’s running a smart campaign. So, we’ll see.

This week has been crazy with news about Roy Moore, the craziest of which is that HE IS STILL IN THE RACE. He refuses to drop out! So here are some of the stories about him which have just come out in the past 24 hours, basically:

The RNC cuts off Roy Moore. It took them long enough! Throughout the weekend, the Republican National Committee was still supporting and funding Moore. Now they’ve cut off funds. Unfortunately, the Alabama Republican party operatus is still supporting him, and the state party Republican officials are still with him.

Steve Bannon is starting to have doubts. Bannon has been pushing Roy Moore since the beginning and Bannon and Breitbart Media have been doing a lot to “discredit” Moore’s victims. While Bannon still publicly supports Moore, apparently Bannon wants people to know that he has some private qualms about giving his full-throated support to a man who is most likely a pervert, a statutory rapist, a child molester and a sexual predator. Bannon has been telling people privately that if Moore lied to him, “I will put him in a grave myself.” Bannon has been telling people he’s “uncomfortable” with the charges being leveled at Moore, even though he doubted the victims’ stories in the first days. Too little too late, Nazi douchebag.

Anti-semitic dirty tricks. There’s a robocall tearing its way through Alabama right now – you can hear the call here. This is what’s being said: “Hi, this is Bernie Bernstein, I’m a reporter for the Washington Post calling to find out if anyone at this address is a female between the ages of 54 to 57 years old willing to make damaging remarks about candidate Roy Moore for a reward of between $5000 and $7000 dollars. We will not be fully investigating these claims however we will make a written report. I can be reached by email at albernstein@washingtonpost.com, thank you.” The WaPo is like “WTF, this isn’t us” and everybody knows it’s total bullsh-t. But even for a fake journalist’s name… Bernie Bernstein??? The tweets about this were amazing.

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48 Responses to “If you get a call about Roy Moore from someone named Bernie Bernstein, hang up”

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  1. blacksheep says:

    “Hello this is Bernie Bernstein, I love Keurigs and paying taxes” Lol..

    Now that that lol is over, I’ll cry, bc he’ll likely not drop out and still win because people like this, two supporters that were quoted by Buzzfeed leaving one of his rallies:

    “Why didn’t they bring it up 30 years ago if there was anything to it? And I could get on TV and I could cry and tell all of this, and just go to pieces and cry, and cry, and cry. That don’t make it so,” said Presnall.

    “I believe him,” she said. “I’ll vote for him.”

    “Even if it’s true, God forgives people,” said Alfred Marks, another attendee. “We all have a closet.”

    Really trying to keep down a rage rant on religious hypocrisy right now….let me go find a pillow to scream into…So much stupid…it’s overwhelming…even God wouldnt put up with your BS, ignorant reds.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      These really aren’t Old Testament folks, are they? I didn’t know Christianity included “Do whatever you want, be an assh*le, God forgives everything even if you don’t repent.” Must’ve missed that.

      Honestly though, I don’t get how anyone in the US can reconcile their religion (not even a specific one) with Capitalism. I’m no religious scholar by ANY means but I do not remember greed and “f*ck everyone else” being one of the core tenets of the bigger religions. Certainly not Judaism, Christianity, or Islam.

    • Megan says:

      Bannon is truly desperate. Apparently Moore’s trifecta of pedophilia, misogyny, and racism isn’t enough so Bannon is throwing in a bit of anti-Semetism.

      • Who ARE These People? says:

        Anti-Semitism PLUS a little ‘I’m a bad-ass thug.” He’s that rich white guy who pushes his chest out and says, “I will end you” in a high voice.

        What an a-hole! His days of relevance are coming to an end.

  2. Jerusha says:

    This was one of the best twitter responses.
    http://twitter.com/aynrandpaulryan/status/930584909340491776

    • hilariouso says:

      LOLOLOLOL

      “Jewy McJewerson is too on the nose, Brad.” I ded. This is 2017, insert laugh/cry.

    • Maria F. says:

      so funny.

    • magnoliarose says:

      I laughed so hard. I can’t tell you how hard I laughed when I heard this story. My husband had tears rolling down his cheeks from laughing so hard. I know as a Jew I am supposed to be offended, but it is just too fakakta to kvetch.

  3. Eric says:

    Cmon Alabama! Vote Jones for Senate.

    And…pst….mr mueller

    HURRY!

  4. HadToChangeMyName says:

    “For one, I bet a lot of conservative Republicans just stay home rather than vote for Roy Moore, a sexual assailant and pedophile.” Are you sure about this, though? These are the same people who voted for Trump, a serial sexual assailant and liar.

    • Shambles says:

      And this is what f*cking kills me. To all the republicans who have denounced Moore but fell in line behind Trump, you are worthless trash. You’ve made it clear that fetuses are your highest priority, you care a little bit when it’s underaged girls being harmed, but when it’s grown women being violated? Hell no. Who cares about grown women? What even are those? Where can I buy one?

      • magnoliarose says:

        My mother, when confronted with Pro-Lifers, says she is President of the Already Born movement. I started saying it too. Surprisingly effective I have to admit.

  5. Squiggisbig says:

    Since this scandal broke I was surprised that they didn’t have his wife front and center denying everything and defending him.

    Then I googled her and guess who is 14 years younger than her husband. It’s like he wasn’t even trying to hide….

    • Lolo86lf says:

      I’ve seen videos of Roy Moore and I believe his wife was standing by him, so I guess she is still supporting him and refusing to believe Moore’s victims. Eventually she might end up turning on him and probably will divorce him.

    • IlsaLund says:

      Apparently Moore’s wife is using Facebook to mount a smear campaign against his accusers.

    • Who ARE these people? says:

      She helped him forge the pastor signatures on an old defense letter, has a different more sanitized account from him of how they met, and has attacked his accusers. There’s a lot of defense being played, inside and out.

    • Lightpurple says:

      Oh, she’s supporting him fully and engaging in some nasty behavior of her own

    • Reef says:

      One of his accusers was his wife’s high school classmate. He said they met at church, but it was probably the high school parking lot.

      • third ginger says:

        How does Mrs. Moore explain the yearbook inscription for a young woman her husband never met? Did he do regular high school yearbook signings?

      • Jerusha says:

        @third ginger. This way-deny, deny, deny. And spread lying fake news:
        ‘Kayla Moore shared one link from the conservative site Gateway Pundit that attempted to discredit the signature from Roy Moore in one of his accuser’s yearbooks, evidence that contradicts Moore’s claim he has never met the accuser, Beverly Young Nelson. “IT’S A FAKE! Analyst Says Judge Roy Moore Signature Inside Gloria Allred Accuser’s Yearbook Was FORGED,” the headline declares. The post points to tweets from a writer who the site says is “known for his insightful take on politics” (and whom Breitbart calls a “Twitter thread genius”) but who does not appear to claim any expertise in handwriting analysis. (The writer, however, has described himself as “the planet’s only expert on World War I flame throwers.”)’. From Slate

      • Christin says:

        Wonder if the church was next to the high school? Well, when one cannot cruise the mall anymore to pick up girls, maybe it was time to settle down.

  6. grabbyhands says:

    Bannon has been telling people privately that if Moore lied to him, “I will put him in a grave myself.”

    Oh give us all a hug, f*cking break, Bannon. You already KNOW he lied to you and the only thing you’re worried about is how it might affect you negatively. You could care less about the truth of what he’s done, just how bad it might make YOU look.

    And oh my god, the raging hypocrisy of his so called evangelical voters. This is why I hate people so much.

  7. IlsaLund says:

    Please Alabama. Prove us all wrong and show the world that the majority of your citizens aren’t brain dead sheeple led astray by right wing religious craziness.

    And why is it that democratic leaning voters are too f@$&ing lazy to vote in Off year and special elections? That has to change for the country to right the ship and move forward again.

  8. robyn says:

    This is what the Republican Party and particularly the Bannon/Trump wing comes to stand for … lying liars, pedophiles, dirty air and water, white Nationals, treasonous traitors and people desperate to take away health care for all while promoting automatic rifles for all. Deplorable is too tepid a word to describe this bunch. Anyone voting for Moore deserves to be sent to the coal mines in Siberia where they can happily vote for Putin to their heart’s content.

    Moore could still win though because even the woman assaulted by him voted for Trump who from his own mouth said he assaulted women.

  9. Who ARE these people? says:

    The stakes aren’t only for Alabama. A Jones win would slim the margin in the U.S Senate, So that could still draw the Republican hold their nose voters.

  10. Talie says:

    Doug Jones is a really great candidate, but sadly, I think Moore will still win. And this will be a huge catastrophe.

  11. boredblond says:

    That call is like the worst snl sketch ever..we’re laughing..but I wonder if his voters are…I can’t understand how they prefer a child molester over someone who sought justice for those four murdered school girls..if that makes me a judgey northerner, so be it..

  12. happyoften says:

    It’s not looking good for Roy. As word filters down he was forging Pastors signatures, he’ll lose the one voting block he was counting on to forgive him.

    Seriously. Those Pastors are. not. happy. My guess is there is going to be a sermon or 5 about bearing false witness between now and election day.

    This Bernie Bernstein fellow sounds like a real mensch.

  13. OTHER RENEE says:

    We elected a pu**y grabbing liar to the highest Office, Montana elected a man to the House who physically assaulted a reporter, so what’s to prevent this horrible sick pedo from being elected? I’d like to see justice served in an election just once this year. I’d like my faith in human decency to be restored at least once by the end of this year.

  14. WendyNerd says:

    MOSHE MENSCHOWITZ

  15. Radley says:

    I’m patiently waiting on Alabama to assess the past 30 or 40 years and think about how that’s worked out for them. Do they enjoy being at the bottom of every good list and at the top of every bad one?? Is permanent struggle mode fun?

    The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result. Time to vote Democrat en masse.

    ETA: This anti-Semitic dog whistle is appalling and people who buy into it deserve all the bad things that result from being an unrepentant, closed minded, nasty, bigot.

    • magnoliarose says:

      This is how their cry about fake news is biting them in the arse. Now their own can use it against the establishment. This is the beginning of their serious decline but it is painful for us as it happens.

  16. Christin says:

    Can we talk about the accent in that call? It was like a bad attempt, much like someone trying to mimic a Southern accent. Can’t Stevie boy or whoever was behind that call hire better talent?

  17. Jane says:

    If Republicans had any conscience, you would think they would at least look into the independent candidates doing write-in campaigns. I gather from Wikipedia that ballot access is hard there, and there are only the two candidates on the ballot (Moore and Jones). But there are also at least four other candidates doing write-in campaigns, you would think conservatives would at least look into them as an option.

    The Libertarian candidate is Ron Bishop, and there are three independents, Eulas Kirtdoll, Arlester “Mack” McBride, and Mac Watson, all doing write-in campaigns. Watson is quoted in a linked article saying he’s conservative, and obviously the Libertarian Party are too, not sure about Kirtdoll and McBride. But you would think voters would at least look into the random independents before voting for a known predator. Where is their moral compass?