Tracee Ellis Ross has a new cover story and interview with Glamour magazine, and I found myself just nodding along as I read it. I love to read her takes on life, on being single and successful and getting shade for it, and on important issues. She’s just smart and thoughtful and I enjoy her interviews. So this one wasn’t any different and I came away wanting to hear more. I especially liked how she broke down the issue of consent and unwanted touching and made it incredibly simple and matter-of-fact. So many people try to complicate it and create hierarchies of abusive behavior, as if victims should be ranked. Tracee makes it very clear that we alone own our bodies and that it’s about consent.
On being the first black actress in over 30 years to win a Globe in comedy
When another woman or another woman of color has a win, I feel like it’s my win. I feel like it’s a ceiling breaking open. And so the nominations, even the win, really feels like it’s not mine. It’s like something becomes more possible.On how she was raised to think about her sexuality
My mom [Diana Ross] is a sexy woman—that is part of her persona—and that is a delicious thing that has never felt scary to me. Recently I learned this wonderful term, sex-positive, and that is the way I feel. [For me] the answer to the objectification of women and black women in our culture is not to shut down my sexuality but to own it as something that is mine.Glamour: One response to #MeToo that’s bugged me is men saying: Can you even compliment a woman anymore? Can you hug a female colleague anymore? What would you say to those guys?
[This] is connected wholeheartedly to consent. It can be as simple as asking, May I hug you? I ask my therapist that before I leave the office—I say, “May I hug you?” Ask the question: “Is it OK for me to hug you? Is it OK for me to ask that?” That’s all you have to do. And then, if somebody is even offended by the question, then the response is “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” End of story.It is so simple. Of course people want to be complimented, but you want to be complimented in a way that respects who you are—maybe you don’t want to be complimented on your clothing. You have that right to say to your coworker, “That’s not a thing that I enjoy.” “Oh, no problem. I won’t do that anymore.” It is all about respect and giving people a choice about how we are touching and talking about their body. Historically, women have not had ownership of our own bodies. And it is enough. It is enough. You do not get to touch my body or comment on my body as you please. Period.
“You do not get to touch my body or comment on my body as you please.” Yes this exactly. There is a dude I know who just expects me accept his squeezing hugs every time I run into him and I end up feeling gross afterwards, as if there was no other choice. I recently unfriended him on facebook and his reaction to that – needling, questioning and then ultimately being angry at me when I ignored all his messages – told me all I needed to know about whether he would understand me refusing his hug (or calling him out for the sexist crap he says on Facebook). I will be more direct the next time I see him but I doubt there will be any more hugs from him anyway.
The Cut also reports that Tracee wore sneakers with every outfit in this photoshoot. I have a pair of white classic Reeboks I got on eBay to wear for a Halloween costume (80s workout zombie) and they became my go-to shoes for just about every outfit. It’s like walking on clouds they’re so comfortable and they’re neutral and look cute with jeans, casual dresses, and just about any outfit. I really like the trend of pairing sneakers with dressier outfits because it’s more convenient than choosing shoes that need to match and be both stylish and comfortable. It’s rare for a heel to accomplish all that, but sneakers almost always fit the bill.
Click through the Instagram slideshow to see more photos from Tracee’s shoot.
Photos credit: Glamour, Backgrid and Wenn
I love everything about her. EVERYTHING.
Me too.
I just love her so much.
Same here. I need that outfit she is wearing on the Glamour cover but no way would it look as good on me as it does on her.
She deserves every bit of success.
So, I’m from a country that’s very very white and where race is almost never talked about, pretty much everything revolves around income, so talking about race still confuses me. So I apologise in advance if I sound ignorant, but is her success really that groundbreaking? Her mother is Diana freaking Ross? She comes from a very connected and privileged background anyway.
“First black actress in over 30 years to win a Globe in comedy”
^if you need to have those connections to achieve something like this, then yes, it is still groundbreaking.
Yes, eto! Exactly this!!
I used to feel the way many feel about kids of celebs and / or accomplished folks — born on third base. But we have seen time and time again kids who screw up their privilege. It appears Tracee hasn’t done that and arguably is an icon in her own right. I salute her.
What country are you from? Just curious
“Can you hug a female colleague anymore?” You never could, it’s the workplace. Why is this news to people?
Because apparently a whole bunch of people were raised by wolves.
Some workplaces have more of a “family atmosphere” amongst its employees. Mine does. It’s not that unusual for us to hug each other, especially during the holidays or on birthdays.
Word. It was NEVER okay, we just didn’t say anything. Granted, at my current work that’s a non-issue. There are 3 female colleagues (on my level) who I’ve hugged for birthdays. In over 4 years. Or rather, who hugged me. After knowing me for years. That is fine. NONE of my bosses would ever have even touched my arm, especially the male ones. It doesn’t happen around here and I’m so happy about that. I’m not a hugger.
People need to stop touching. You have family and close friends for that and even then it’s necessary to make sure everyone is fine with it. Dudes are so flabbergasted that maybe we don’t appreciate their grabby sh*t. God, who raised them?
That’s just it – I think I’ve hugged colleagues when I’ve left jobs or when they’ve returned from a family funeral, but always after asking if they’d like a hug. It’s not some indecipherable thing, is it? Would you touch a man similarly? Then don’t do it!
To me this is totally cultural. Some cultures are more touchy and others far less so. What is seen as acceptable or uncomfortable totally depends on your cultural norm.
Right? The only time I have ever hugged coworkers was when one’s parent passed away, or maybe saying good bye at our holiday party. And we’re a small, pretty close office.
I don’t know why so many men (and some women) can’t differentiate between personal and professional environments.
i love her. i went to a Paley panel with her and the creator of blackish and the editor of teen vogue. IT WAS EVERYTHING. she could speak forever and ever and i wouldnt get bored
You’re not supposed to run up and pet peoples dogs. Everyone knows that’s rude and possibly dangerous, lol, so why is it any different with people? My favorite clip is that whole stick man trying to make tea for someone. It’s spot on and we wouldn’t pour tea down someone’s throat if they weren’t thirsty…why the disconnect? Tea consent. Too easy.
Love, love, LOVE the tea consent clip. If you haven’t seen it, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
Yep. That’s the one! Scary and sad so many need it broken down that way, but… here we are lol.
She is fabulous! More Tracee, please.
She’s become one of my favorites, really.
Love Tracee
Black-ish
Her. She’s amazing.
And a winner on her own right.
I just admire her so much.
That’s a fun outfit she is wearing on the cover.
Her response to the “Can you even compliment/hug a female colleague anymore” complaint was perfect too. Just ask, and with compliments, consider whether or not it’s appropriate for the situation. Workplace boundaries. Pretty simple.
Also, this: “Recently I learned this wonderful term, sex-positive, and that is the way I feel. [For me] the answer to the objectification of women and black women in our culture is not to shut down my sexuality but to own it as something that is mine.” Couldn’t agree more!
I just LOVE her. I think she’s very smart, understands the potential of her platform, and is using it in a wonderful way. Plus she’s a great actress and all around lovely.
Regarding the compliment thing, I heard a good discussion of it on I think the Guilty Feminist podcast (which I highly recommend). Most of the men whining about “now I can’t even compliment a woman!” are complimenting to get something more. They aren’t just saying “that’s a nice dress” because they want to be kind, they’re saying it in the hopes that it will lead to something more, and that’s the problem.
And I would guess most of them are complimenting superficial things like appearance anyway, not “hey, great job on that presentation yesterday”.
She always seems so happy! Love her countenance and confidence!
What rock have I been living under??? She’s Diana Ross’ daughter??? There is quite the resemblance, both are beautiful women for sure. Love her show…and her!
I haven’t bought Glamour magazine in years,but am getting this addition as soon as it comes out.I want to see her photos and read her comments,but on a superficial level I MUST find those shoes she’s wearing on the cover.Anybody have an i d on them.Looooove ❤️
I loved Tracee since the old CW/UPN series Girlfriends. So happy for all her success! She is a very talented actress and seems to be a great role model.
I adore her. That is all.
yeah, often when leaving a group of people, i feel pressured to hug everyone, when i only wish to hug, say, half, or 65% of them. but i dont know how to not hug those few people im not interested in hugging. blah. [not a work thing, but i might feel similarly in a small work social event leave-taking]
When I was younger I remember a couple of unasked for shoulder massages at work. So uncomfortable.
She’s great. I went to Brown with her, and even though that was almost 30 years ago, I distinctly remember a girl getting drunk at a party, and then being carried off by a couple of guys (I kid you not). Tracee didn’t even know her, but followed them and stood protectively over her until she was safely put in an ambulance. She has my undying respect for stepping up when the rest of us were too young (and dumb) to take a stand.
Wow!
I get tired of men commenting on my body, whether positive or negative.
I personally find more women comment on my appearance/body than men do.