I didn’t want to cover this story because my first instinct when covering these abuse stories is to reach for a pint of ice cream. I know it sounds so obvious why I would eat ice cream in the mornings, but it actually took me a couple of weeks to realize what was happening, and that it wasn’t just due to the fact that Ben and Jerry’s was buy four get one free. (I don’t buy multiple pints on sale anymore and just get the Kroger store brand one at a time. The English Toffee Private Selection is excellent.) Just know that I have to actively keep myself from shoveling candy or ice cream in my mouth when I think about how horrible it must have been for these victims.
Actress Anika Noni Rose opened up recently about the fact that she was assaulted on a commercial plane by a stranger sitting next to her. She was woken up by his assault and immediately got up and told the plane staff. The plane was eventually turned around, but they put the onus ON HER to make the decision! What’s more is that absolutely nothing happened to her assailant, the case was dropped by law enforcement, and they won’t even give her the man’s name. As with all of these stories, this can be triggering but you know that by now.
Anika Noni Rose shared her own #MeToo story on SiriusXM’s Make It Plain show Thursday
“I have never spoken of this, but I will say this out loud now: I was assaulted on a plane last year. And I haven’t been able to get this person’s name; they won’t give me the name of the person.”
Rose, who told a handful of friends about the assault, recalled it happened without warning. “I don’t know this person. He didn’t introduce himself. There was no, ‘Hi, how are you doing?’ And I was asleep before the plane even took off; I’m one of those sleepers,” she said in the pre-taped interview. “That engine started and I’m like a baby in car. I’m out. He ruined it. Ruined it.”
The stranger’s assault “woke” Rose up, so she alerted the airline’s crew. “We turned that plane around,” she said. “I was offered that option in the beginning, and I said no, because it seemed like the person was then going to go to sleep. I felt like, ‘Maybe he’s chilling.’ I told the steward and stewardess, ‘I just want you to keep an eye on this person. I just want you to know that this is happening.’ And then he said some things that were so out of the box, that I was like, ‘Let’s stop the plane.’ But at that point, the plane was…We had left late. We were starting to take off late. I didn’t know who had connections somewhere else, who was trying to get somewhere important, so I was like, ‘It’s a short flight. Just pay attention to him. Let’s just keep it moving.'”
Unfortunately, Rose said, things only escalated from there. “I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do with myself. Yes, please turn the plane around.’ I was shaking. I was so upset and so hurt and angry. Like, angry,” she said. “I wanted to punch that man, and I knew that that would take away from the story that I had to tell. I had to hold in everything that I was feeling to be able to tell this story and be heard and taken seriously from the place I was in. It’s been…interesting…
“There’s a Freedom of Information act. You’re supposed to be able to get people’s names. I made a report right then with the FBI and they dropped it. They dropped the case,” she said. Asked why, the actress sighed and said, “I really don’t know. I really don’t know.” Rose said the airline is “not allowed to tell me the name of the passenger, apparently.” Since the incident occurred, she admitted, “I can honestly say that I have not done much with it. I made my report. I followed up with the police, like I was told to do. The police did nothing.”
“I don’t really know how you deal with that. It was such a sly violence—such a sly violation,” she added, saying, “It’s a really tough thing to deal with when something happens to you, and you do everything you’re supposed to do, and somebody somewhere else decides: ‘Well, we’re not going to go forward with this. We’re not going to look into this any further.’ You’re walking around in circles asking for information that is owed you. The amount of care that is taken to protect perpetrators is vastly heavier and stronger than the amount of care that is taken to protect victims.” Rose took a picture of the man, vowing, “I’m not finished. I’m not finished.”
Rose explained that she was withholding certain details in the hopes of finding the man and pursuing her legal options. She also warned other women to be vigilant, since what happened to her could happen to anyone—not just to female celebrities. “I say this to say, I was a woman asleep on a plane. I wasn’t dressed up. I wasn’t fancy. I actually looked like I was probably in school, and somebody felt free to touch me in that moment,” she said. “You don’t have to be in Hollywood. You don’t have to be dressed up. You don’t have to be a siren. I was on a plane, in a skullcap, looking like a kid, basically, and this person felt free to touch me. It is mind-blowing.”
“It sounds like a very small thing. You know, it’s not. It is the police definition of rape. It is not the definition of rape that we think of, because we think of rape as intercourse. Rape is really beyond intercourse, when we look at what the definition is,” Rose said. “It doesn’t make it less of a violation. It’s a different type of violation, but it doesn’t make it less shocking—I’ll say that.”
I have a son who regularly flies as an unaccompanied minor. This story makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. (I joked about stress eating but I’m feeling the urge and still might do this.) Maybe the fact that this famous woman shared her story and did not get a sliver of justice will help the airlines wake the f-k up to the fact that there need to be industry-wide, enforceable standards for misconduct on planes. If this horrible man even whispered that he had a bomb he was have been in interrogations for hours and charged with a crime. He violated someone on a plane and yet she can’t even get his name to pursue civil charges! She’s actively holding back from posting his photo on social media too, which must take restraint.
Also, how f-cking sad is it that she has to clarify that she wasn’t raped on the plane? I wasn’t raped at 13 either and I kept telling myself it wasn’t that bad because at least it wasn’t rape.
Photos credit: Getty and WENN
WTF? How the hell did the crew not get this under control? How did the pilot not come out and tell this guy to stop? Turning a plane around is not nothing so how did the other passengers not intervene? This is terrible, I feel so bad for her.
Pass the ice creme, please.
Do you like coffee ice cream? If it has like toffee in it, like Heath bar pieces, it’s even better.
Ooohhh yes. Bit late but YES.
I have loved this woman since forever. It sickens me what she went through. My daughters adore her voice and look up to her. Didn’t these idiot flight attendants realize they had a goddamn DISNEY PRINCESS blessing them with her presence?!! OK, that had to be said, but obviously this should happen to nobody regardless of their station in life or how much I adore them.
They wont even give her his name?? The airline and law enforcement are protecting this person?!? I am so thoroughly disgusted and angry right now. Since the airline wont give her his name then THEY arw culpable and I hope she sues the crap out of them. This is why so many women don’t even bother pursuing charges against assailants – because law enforcement often times won’t even do their jobs.
In fairness they legally cannot give them his name however the police can serve a production order requiring them to produce the name. If the airline provided the name they would liable for a privacy violation.
Thanks for pointing that out. I was wondering about it too. Hopefully she’ll get justice.
I’m glad she spoke out. Sexual assault on planes is common and it is difficult to get justice for the victims.
Both my mother and father were sexually assaulted on a US Air flight pre-9/11 and flight attendants did nothing.
I was seven and both incidents happened right in front of me. They had split our family of three up, so only one person could sit with me. The third seat in our row was taken by an unaccompanied man with a mental handicap of some kind. This person would not switch seats. US Air gave this man two alcoholic beverages, after which the man started putting his hand in my mother’s lap (to put it politely). She called the flight attendants over crying, but they did nothing. So, she called my father up (who was several rows back) and they switched seats. Several minutes later, the guy started molesting my dad, too. He complained to the flight attendants, too, but they just shrugged their shoulders. Well my dad was mad anyways, so he grabbed the guy by the collar (probably not cool considering the mental handicap, but he had already sexually assaulted them both) and threatened to kick his *ss if he didn’t stop. Obviously this was pre-9/11, or I’m sure he would have been led off in handcuffs if it happened today.
This is infuriating. My heart breaks for her, but I’m glad she found the strength to talk about it now. I hope somehow she finds some justice or peace.
I’m wondering if the guy is a cop or judge or related to someone high up, why would it get dropped so quickly and why are they protecting him? Other men have been arrested for this very thing. People get arrested if they’re too drunk on a plane, smoking on a plane, etc. Why was this particular case swept under the rug?
*flips table*
I’m tired yall. but i have to keep reading these just to hear the truths being spoken.
but my goodness i’m sick of people thinking they can invade people’s personal space however they want. i WISH she would’ve hit him like they wanted. I also want her to blast the airline that did it. put the pressure on
same here. I don’t want to read/hear another one of these stories but I read every one because they deserve to be heard. I’m so devastated and angry for her, and I hope the publicity will help her get some traction on a case against this creep.
She was raped. She just wasn’t raped by the appendage between his legs. Her explanation at the end of her statement there is very clear; it sounds like he digitally raped her and she cannot say that due to wanting to pursue charges.
It is reprehensible that she cannot get the name of the man so that she can take legal action against him. The FBI, law enforcement, and the airline have all failed her.
Something needs to be done about this!
I also wish she hit him. I absolutely understand why she held back….but knowing what we know NOW? That not even a tiny sliver of justice was attempted, let alone served? I wish she had knocked his gd teeth out. Let him arrive at his destination and explain THAT to whoever he is meeting.
The really sad truth? Had she hit him they probably would have charged HER. Though at least then she would have his name.
Wonder if the color of her skin had something to do with why LE didn’t press charges. Federal authorities in Michigan arrested a man on a Spirit flight recently for doing the same thing to a 22 year old.
This is horrible. I think if she is not able to get justice then she should name the airline so we can get a boycott started. There is no reason why in this day and age they wouldn’t have an established protocol for this type of thing that wouldn’t involved pressuring the victim to decide whether to turn the plane around.
I hope she has a really good lawyer working with her on this–that is disgusting and the airline and the perpetrator deserve to be punished for it. I hope she can go after some law enforcement agency for choosing not to arrest the guy also.
Sadly, I have found airlines to be some of the least responsive/understanding ever in terms of customer service. Not the same thing at all, but I had some horrible experiences with airline attendants while flying with a young baby and it was awful being stuck up in the air and knowing I couldn’t get out of the situation until we landed. The staff are, frankly, often on a power trip or ready to assume that all passengers are terrorists and treat them accordingly. Between the actual flying experience and how onerous the process of getting to the airport and through security is, I’m increasingly finding that it’s just not worth it to me to fly in many cases.
Just saw a report about this. Sexual assaults on planes happen a lot. Not just to women but kids and teenagers. Very few are charged even when reported to the crew. Oddly drunks and physical attacks are taken more seriously but barely.
Assault on planes is a lot more common than people know and the Airlines are doing nothing about it
I can’t imagine how helpless and frustrated she feels , she will have to name and shame the Airline or somebody for something to happen
I’m starting to think every woman should have a hidden camera on them at all times. It’ the only way we will get justice.
This. Is. Infuriating! Not just the assault itself but also how everyone does everything in their power to protect predators and keep planes safe-spaces for sexual assault. WTF?!?
I hope she can sue the crap out of everybody – the rapist and everyone who protects him. Poor baby.
I’ve gained 10 pounds since the whole Harvey Weinstein thing started, and I honestly only put it together now, with Celebitchy talking about stress eating. ( I suffered a terrible assault at age 13, but had kept my weight absolutely constant for many years.) It’s HORRIBLE to read what women go through, and this particularly horrified me, because I had no idea air travel was so rife with perverts, and kids are so vulnerable. I agree with everyone who said that as much of a bummer as reading all these accounts is, I feel each victim lived it, and deserves to be heard. I can only pray times are changing for the better…
I remember when I was in 5th grade, I was watching a show with my aunt and the mom character told her daughter not to sleep on the plane because it was dangerous. I was confused as to why anyone would advise that because I always slept on planes (I still do). Like Rose, I’ve been one of those people who could fall asleep before takeoff. My first transpacific flight was when I was 11 months and I’ve been a frequent flyover ever since. Falling asleep was a way to pass the time especially because I can’t read on planes (it gives me a headache). Anyway my aunt tried to explain to me why it was dangerous to sleep on planes as best as she could to a 5th grader anyways. I forgot about all that until the recent reports of abuse on planes.
This is scary!!!
Every person and every situation is different. And anyone who feels they’ve been assaulted must make the best decision for themselves for how to handle it.
That said I’d certainly support anyone who chooses to shout out loud something like, “What are you doing! Get your hands off of me! Get your hands off of me!” I believe that if this happened on an airline flight in the U.S. there would be a bunch of people coming to the aid of the the victim.
I was non-consensually fondled on an airplane, by a middle-aged businessman, when I was 18 and headed back to college after my first Christmas home. Like Noni Rose, I was asleep before take-off, and the feeling of the man’s hand traveling up my leg and into my groin was what suddenly woke me up.
I remember that I was in complete shock — nothing like this had ever happened to me before — and I actually froze. I kept my eyes closed, squeezed them closed, actually, pretending to still be asleep. Then I slowly shifted away from him, trying to make it look like a sleep-movement. I remember crossing my legs protectively.
He took his hand off me, presumably startled by my movement, but then a minute later put his hand back where it was. THAT was when I opened my eyes and sat ramrod-straight and yelled “WHAT?” in his direction. He stuttered, then thrust his plastic cup toward me and went, “did you want a drink of water?” I remember how pitiful and stupid he sounded. Then I looked down, and I remember thinking to myself, oh my god, the only reason he had a glass of water in the first place was so that he could KEEP HIS TRAY TABLE FOLDED DOWN OVER HIS LAP, and that was such a disgusting realization.
More than anything, I remember not wanting to “make a scene,” not wanting to embarrass HIM. I was so guilty and embarrassed — I was sexually naive, and also a member of Campus Crusade for Christ, just… super committed to “purity culture” and super unprepared in terms of how to even deal with any type of assault — and I remember really WANTING to push that flight attendant button, but not doing it. I was scared that, the fact that I froze or “shifted away” or pretended to be asleep, instead of just YELLING, would make me look like I was somehow complicit or like I “wanted it.”
I was so embarrassed, I didn’t tell anyone about this until four years after it had happened, to my first serious boyfriend. He was disgusted with the story — disgusted that *I* hadn’t done anything, hadn’t shouted at the man or turned him in — and I was so humiliated by HIS reaction, I kept my experience to myself, right up until a few years ago, when #yesallwomen was trending on Twitter.
This all happened in Texas in 2000, so I strongly doubt that, if I’d made a stink over it, anyone else would’ve too. But man, do I ever think about it and wonder. I wonder if I might’ve been pleasantly surprised by the support I received on that plane, for instance. In retrospect, I wish I HAD made a scene. In *retrospect*, I can see that my assailant thought I would be an easy pushover, that even if *I* caught him and objected, I’d be too scared to do anything about it. He was right. I wish I’d been as courageous as Noni Rose and demanded that they TURN THE PLANE AROUND. Get my mom to the airport, get her yelling — who KNOWS what could’ve happened to that guy! (My adoptive mom was a force of nature! She would’ve found a way to murder anyone who put his hands on me.)
Above all, I wish I’d done something because it absolutely makes me sick to think about how many other unconscious women he ended up fondling on planes. Hopefully he ended up finally getting his just deserts — although, more likely, he “failed upward” to CEO. Ugh.
I had the same happened to me but it was a male stewed from the airline. It happened a while ago when I was in my late teens, early 20s. However, I didn’t do anything I was shocked and scared, did not close my eyes for a second after that. ☹